1 day ago
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Gimme A High Five! And Another One!
We have blogged about quite a few things you can get for yourself if you have no friends and need something to make you feel like you're loved and appreciated. There was the Words of Encouragement tapes, the listening plant, and the Christmas dinner guests on a DVD. But now, there's a whole new thing to consider getting. It is, get ready for this, the self high five machine. There is no sound in this video, but I guess this machine will sit and give you a high five to your heart's content.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Clearing Out The Clutter From My Head
I had a few random thoughts floating through my head, so I thought I would write them down. Really, must I start all of these posts out the same way? Seriously?
I'm really digging this last bit of weather we've been having. No crazy heat waves, some rain but not a whole heap, just nice weather. I'm especially digging it because Trix and I can take the long walks we've always loved, because the streets we use for those aren't ripped up anymore...for the most part. There are a couple of rough spots, but nothing unnavigable. I think Trix is enjoying it too. She never complained, but those shitty little walks to bus stops or to the store must have gotten really boring.
A little while ago, I updated the Trekker's maps and software, and there are some definite cool new features on here! One is the ability to have it tell you where something is in terms of the clock face. I find it much easier to interpret 9 o'clock than 90 degrees on your left. Definite awesomeness there. I'm a big fan of the ability to hit the left and right validate keys and find out about where the next intersection is, or the next and previous instruction in a route. Also, the ability to push a button while you're on a route and have it reroute is much cooler than doing it in the menu. Plus, the ability to have it automatically switch from pedestrian to motorized mode is handy. I'm down with any reduction of button pushing while I'm on the move. Generally this new update makes Trekker a lot more sensitive to things changing as you move, which is awesome.
And the new maps rock. Many more POI's have been picked up. Definitely sweet. I'm a happy woman. Those hours of struggle were all worth it.
A feature that I never noticed the ability to do before was to browse from your current position. So you can stand at a given spot, flash into browsing mode and then just figuratively look around you. How awesome is that? If I had been more familiar with it, I would have used it when I encountered some construction on a street where I wasn't expecting it. What I ended up doing was backtracking way more than I should have needed to do, because if I had just browsed around, I would have figured out I could have just gone one street over and then caught up with another part of the path I like to take. Duh! Use the power of the trekker!
But all this work with GPS gave me the idea for a funny cartoon. I wish I could write cartoons. This vision came to me when there was a news story on about how butterflies migrate. Anyway, I envisioned someone fiddling with a GPS trying to get it to help him get back home, when suddenly he found himself surrounded by laughing geese, ants, butterflies and pigeons! "We can find our way back to our homes without some fancy GPS," they would say to the man, "And you call yourself a member of the smartest species? Maybe you should rethink that assessment!" I have no idea where that came from, but I kind of had to laugh at the idea.
Gees, when was the last time I really talked a lot about the huppy? I guess Trix did back at the end of May. He's really trying to walk. He's got the standing part down, and he'll walk if you hold his hand. Sometimes, when I have his hand, he'll try to watch out for steps for me. I jokingly called him my guide huppy. He's funny, too, because when we're in the elevator, or if we're anywhere where we're standing in place waiting for something, he'll start jumping around. Silly guy.
And I think he's starting to speak. He really likes saying "uh-oh," and "yeah!" and I think I got him to say something that resembled "Dude" this morning. It was "Due" but I'll take that. I've also heard him say daddy, doggy, and something that sounded like woof. It won't be long now. And I think he's almost got all his chompers. Man, I remember when he had hardly any. He's gettin' bigger, and it's scary.
This is the first summer he's been in the pool. He's got the coolest swim suit ever. It has built-in floaty things on it! Awesome! He looks so cute in it. I wish I could put a picture of it on here.
I really don't have much to say about the whole Future Shop saga. I called again and asked for an update, but the manager was on vacation. Grrr! But Brad was telling me that he went into a Future Shop, and they had a flat PIN pad, but they did have an overlay for it. Unfortunately for him, the overlay was broken or something. But they had an overlay! That means, maybe someone's been thinking about this issue!
I feel old. I mean, really old. For the first time, I received my Rogers cell phone bill on a CD. Why was this necessary? Because 3.5 inch disks are officially obsolete! I mean, they aren't being made anymore.
Yes, you heard me, obsolete! I have seen the 5.25 inch disks go the way of the dinosaur, and now the 3.5 inch too! Granted, what they can hold compared to a memory stick is really really small, so it was probably their time to go, but I've seen yet another technology die during my life that I also remember being considered new and improved when I was much younger.
And that about does it for this pile of thoughts. It was a short trip, but hopefully a good one.
I'm really digging this last bit of weather we've been having. No crazy heat waves, some rain but not a whole heap, just nice weather. I'm especially digging it because Trix and I can take the long walks we've always loved, because the streets we use for those aren't ripped up anymore...for the most part. There are a couple of rough spots, but nothing unnavigable. I think Trix is enjoying it too. She never complained, but those shitty little walks to bus stops or to the store must have gotten really boring.
A little while ago, I updated the Trekker's maps and software, and there are some definite cool new features on here! One is the ability to have it tell you where something is in terms of the clock face. I find it much easier to interpret 9 o'clock than 90 degrees on your left. Definite awesomeness there. I'm a big fan of the ability to hit the left and right validate keys and find out about where the next intersection is, or the next and previous instruction in a route. Also, the ability to push a button while you're on a route and have it reroute is much cooler than doing it in the menu. Plus, the ability to have it automatically switch from pedestrian to motorized mode is handy. I'm down with any reduction of button pushing while I'm on the move. Generally this new update makes Trekker a lot more sensitive to things changing as you move, which is awesome.
And the new maps rock. Many more POI's have been picked up. Definitely sweet. I'm a happy woman. Those hours of struggle were all worth it.
A feature that I never noticed the ability to do before was to browse from your current position. So you can stand at a given spot, flash into browsing mode and then just figuratively look around you. How awesome is that? If I had been more familiar with it, I would have used it when I encountered some construction on a street where I wasn't expecting it. What I ended up doing was backtracking way more than I should have needed to do, because if I had just browsed around, I would have figured out I could have just gone one street over and then caught up with another part of the path I like to take. Duh! Use the power of the trekker!
But all this work with GPS gave me the idea for a funny cartoon. I wish I could write cartoons. This vision came to me when there was a news story on about how butterflies migrate. Anyway, I envisioned someone fiddling with a GPS trying to get it to help him get back home, when suddenly he found himself surrounded by laughing geese, ants, butterflies and pigeons! "We can find our way back to our homes without some fancy GPS," they would say to the man, "And you call yourself a member of the smartest species? Maybe you should rethink that assessment!" I have no idea where that came from, but I kind of had to laugh at the idea.
Gees, when was the last time I really talked a lot about the huppy? I guess Trix did back at the end of May. He's really trying to walk. He's got the standing part down, and he'll walk if you hold his hand. Sometimes, when I have his hand, he'll try to watch out for steps for me. I jokingly called him my guide huppy. He's funny, too, because when we're in the elevator, or if we're anywhere where we're standing in place waiting for something, he'll start jumping around. Silly guy.
And I think he's starting to speak. He really likes saying "uh-oh," and "yeah!" and I think I got him to say something that resembled "Dude" this morning. It was "Due" but I'll take that. I've also heard him say daddy, doggy, and something that sounded like woof. It won't be long now. And I think he's almost got all his chompers. Man, I remember when he had hardly any. He's gettin' bigger, and it's scary.
This is the first summer he's been in the pool. He's got the coolest swim suit ever. It has built-in floaty things on it! Awesome! He looks so cute in it. I wish I could put a picture of it on here.
I really don't have much to say about the whole Future Shop saga. I called again and asked for an update, but the manager was on vacation. Grrr! But Brad was telling me that he went into a Future Shop, and they had a flat PIN pad, but they did have an overlay for it. Unfortunately for him, the overlay was broken or something. But they had an overlay! That means, maybe someone's been thinking about this issue!
I feel old. I mean, really old. For the first time, I received my Rogers cell phone bill on a CD. Why was this necessary? Because 3.5 inch disks are officially obsolete! I mean, they aren't being made anymore.
Yes, you heard me, obsolete! I have seen the 5.25 inch disks go the way of the dinosaur, and now the 3.5 inch too! Granted, what they can hold compared to a memory stick is really really small, so it was probably their time to go, but I've seen yet another technology die during my life that I also remember being considered new and improved when I was much younger.
And that about does it for this pile of thoughts. It was a short trip, but hopefully a good one.
Third Time Is Not The Charm!
So, let me get this straight here. A perfectly capable blind couple has to fight to get their baby back, but this woman can have a perfectly good shot at killing her third child, no problem. She not only nearly starved her other two kids, but when they were taken away from her, she tried to give one of them a laxative in her bottle on a supervised visit because she thought the kid was getting too fat. Now, while carrying child no. 3, she didn't give it enough nourishment. But a judge says she can have her kid and nothing will be done to keep her from taking the baby home.
Just depressing. This is the exact sort of case where we know what's going to happen. I mean, this didn't just happen with one kid, but two, and it's happening with no. 3! How many warnings do we damn well need?
Just depressing. This is the exact sort of case where we know what's going to happen. I mean, this didn't just happen with one kid, but two, and it's happening with no. 3! How many warnings do we damn well need?
If You Go Down To The Square Today, There's No Need To Wear A Top
For a post about how the day went, gohere.
University of Guelph students Andrea Crinklaw and Lindsay Webb have organized what is being called a "Top Freedom Day of Pride" to celebrate the right of women to walk around topless in public. The event will be held in St. George’s Square on Saturday, August 28th from 3 PM to 10 PM.
I'm going to go on record here and say that I support the cause, and not just because I'm a blind pervert who's thinking about heading out there just so I can walk around trying to bump into people. It really is a matter of fairness. If we guys are allowed to traipse around frightening children with our boobies, women should be able to do the same thing. It's an equal rights issue, and in 2010 there's no reason why one class of people shouldn't be able to do something that another can. (See also marriage, gay.)
Seriousness aside, there were a couple of things inthe Guelph Tribune story about thisthat I couldn't help but notice.
Um, welcome to the world, a world that's filled with men and lesbians, not to mention people to whom the site of a human body is patently offensive. Even if there were women going topless in every city at all hours of the day and night, you're still getting gawked at. Boobs are attention grabbing, that's just how it is.
Funny, I think most of those people are dudes. Strange that so many male musicians would be so eager to play at what is essentially the Gathering of the Hoots. Hopefully none of them get caught gawking.
There's no official website for the event, but you can find out more by searching Top Freedom Day of Pride on Facebook under events. I'm one of the 7 people on earth who doesn't have a Facebook, so don't ask me how to do that if you're unsure.
University of Guelph students Andrea Crinklaw and Lindsay Webb have organized what is being called a "Top Freedom Day of Pride" to celebrate the right of women to walk around topless in public. The event will be held in St. George’s Square on Saturday, August 28th from 3 PM to 10 PM.
I'm going to go on record here and say that I support the cause, and not just because I'm a blind pervert who's thinking about heading out there just so I can walk around trying to bump into people. It really is a matter of fairness. If we guys are allowed to traipse around frightening children with our boobies, women should be able to do the same thing. It's an equal rights issue, and in 2010 there's no reason why one class of people shouldn't be able to do something that another can. (See also marriage, gay.)
Seriousness aside, there were a couple of things inthe Guelph Tribune story about thisthat I couldn't help but notice.
The women began to notice the stigma when, in an effort to be free from tan lines, they would swim topless in the Speed River.
“I’d kind of get gawked at, and I didn’t really appreciate that,” said Crinklaw.
Um, welcome to the world, a world that's filled with men and lesbians, not to mention people to whom the site of a human body is patently offensive. Even if there were women going topless in every city at all hours of the day and night, you're still getting gawked at. Boobs are attention grabbing, that's just how it is.
A number of performers have been lined up to make music during the event, including the Nathan Day Project, Anthony Damiao, Joel Saunders, and Richard Garvey and Polly Edwards, but more are expected to be added to the lineup in the coming weeks.
Funny, I think most of those people are dudes. Strange that so many male musicians would be so eager to play at what is essentially the Gathering of the Hoots. Hopefully none of them get caught gawking.
There's no official website for the event, but you can find out more by searching Top Freedom Day of Pride on Facebook under events. I'm one of the 7 people on earth who doesn't have a Facebook, so don't ask me how to do that if you're unsure.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Fast Food, Slow Car
I've heard of sugar being poured into a car's gas tank to cause damage, but I've never heard of a cheeseburger being used in such a fashion. Well, a cheeseburger can cause $1000 worth of damage, apparently.
Service Animal Has Been Defined
A while back I mentioned that the US Department of Justice was updating its definition of service animal. Well, after lots of deliberation and consideration, they have settled on a definition. I saw this a couple of days ago, but Jill sent it to me again, and nudged me into blogging about it. Sorry that link isn't the best one, but you will find the definition under the heading that reads "§ 35.136 Service animals"
There was a lot of room for things to go very badly, but I think they did a pretty good job. There are three things that make me jump for joy about this wording.
First, all that matters is that the dog is trained to do specific tasks. It doesn't matter who trained it. This means that self-trained service dogs won't be excluded just because they weren't trained by a school. But on the other hand, the issue of the dog being under control and not causing problems is addressed, so woohoo!
Second, emotional support animals are not covered! Yes! Yes! Yes! This means that dogs who only serve to make the person *feel* better don't have the right to go everywhere with them. Often these pooches have no socialization or training whatsoever, and turn out to be a danger to people and legitimate service animals alike.
And third, this will spell the end of every animal under the sun being claimed to be a service animal. No more service birds, ferrets, snakes, full-sized horses, or monkeys. That whole anything can be performing a service thing was a dangerous, dangerous road. A service animal is a dog. It's a dog and that's it.
...
Except, kinda, maybe if it's a miniature horse. This part is the only part of the legislation that confuses the hell out of me. It says a service animal is a dog, but then there's a whole section on miniature horses. I guess businesses have no reason to kick out a dog based on it being a dog, but they can boot a miniature horse if they don't think their place can accommodate the animal. I guess, sorta, I think.
I understand why they did that, but I would hate to be the handler of a miniature horse. I would feel like blind people felt at the beginning when guide dogs weren't widely-used. Everywhere you'd go, you'd have to wonder whether your miniature horse would get asked to leave. I think personally, I would find it so high-stress that I would contemplate getting a dog after my horse retired just to get the full benefits of the ADA.
There are two small parts of the law that minimally concern me. The first is the stipulation that the dog must be with the handler by harness, leash or tether unless having it be tethered or leashed is not possible for the person or does not allow the dog to do its work. Hmm. Can we define that a little better, so people couldn't use that stipulation to just not bother to leash their service animal? I know that some dogs are really good about responding to voice or hand signals, but if they decide that na, I'd like to go say hello to that guide dog over there, the person needs a backup plan. Otherwise, all they end up doing is helplessly going "No! Stop! Stop! No!" And we all know how well that works out with pets.
The other part that concerns me isn't so much the law itself, but the way some idiots may try to use it. It says that a service animal can get hoofed for being aggressive or for not being housebroken. For the most part, I'm happy that provision is there. People can't bring their pets in places, say they're service animals, and then the business has no recourse if the animal behaves badly. But what if for some crazy reason a legitimate service animal has an accident? Trix has never had an accident in a business, but that doesn't mean she won't have one some day. Babs had one accident in a business, but I still would have said she was housebroken. She was on antibiotics, I was inexperienced and didn't give her a chance to relieve...so she made a deposit in the lobby of a bank. So, even if I clean it up and apologize, can I be banned from that business because they deem my dog to not be housebroken? But I guess any law can be twisted to be used out of context, so I can't really blame the law for this one.
Over all, I'd say they did a pretty good job. I hope this definition influences other definitions so that things get tightened up and other places don't have to go through nearly as much trial and error.
Thoughts?
There was a lot of room for things to go very badly, but I think they did a pretty good job. There are three things that make me jump for joy about this wording.
First, all that matters is that the dog is trained to do specific tasks. It doesn't matter who trained it. This means that self-trained service dogs won't be excluded just because they weren't trained by a school. But on the other hand, the issue of the dog being under control and not causing problems is addressed, so woohoo!
Second, emotional support animals are not covered! Yes! Yes! Yes! This means that dogs who only serve to make the person *feel* better don't have the right to go everywhere with them. Often these pooches have no socialization or training whatsoever, and turn out to be a danger to people and legitimate service animals alike.
And third, this will spell the end of every animal under the sun being claimed to be a service animal. No more service birds, ferrets, snakes, full-sized horses, or monkeys. That whole anything can be performing a service thing was a dangerous, dangerous road. A service animal is a dog. It's a dog and that's it.
...
Except, kinda, maybe if it's a miniature horse. This part is the only part of the legislation that confuses the hell out of me. It says a service animal is a dog, but then there's a whole section on miniature horses. I guess businesses have no reason to kick out a dog based on it being a dog, but they can boot a miniature horse if they don't think their place can accommodate the animal. I guess, sorta, I think.
I understand why they did that, but I would hate to be the handler of a miniature horse. I would feel like blind people felt at the beginning when guide dogs weren't widely-used. Everywhere you'd go, you'd have to wonder whether your miniature horse would get asked to leave. I think personally, I would find it so high-stress that I would contemplate getting a dog after my horse retired just to get the full benefits of the ADA.
There are two small parts of the law that minimally concern me. The first is the stipulation that the dog must be with the handler by harness, leash or tether unless having it be tethered or leashed is not possible for the person or does not allow the dog to do its work. Hmm. Can we define that a little better, so people couldn't use that stipulation to just not bother to leash their service animal? I know that some dogs are really good about responding to voice or hand signals, but if they decide that na, I'd like to go say hello to that guide dog over there, the person needs a backup plan. Otherwise, all they end up doing is helplessly going "No! Stop! Stop! No!" And we all know how well that works out with pets.
The other part that concerns me isn't so much the law itself, but the way some idiots may try to use it. It says that a service animal can get hoofed for being aggressive or for not being housebroken. For the most part, I'm happy that provision is there. People can't bring their pets in places, say they're service animals, and then the business has no recourse if the animal behaves badly. But what if for some crazy reason a legitimate service animal has an accident? Trix has never had an accident in a business, but that doesn't mean she won't have one some day. Babs had one accident in a business, but I still would have said she was housebroken. She was on antibiotics, I was inexperienced and didn't give her a chance to relieve...so she made a deposit in the lobby of a bank. So, even if I clean it up and apologize, can I be banned from that business because they deem my dog to not be housebroken? But I guess any law can be twisted to be used out of context, so I can't really blame the law for this one.
Over all, I'd say they did a pretty good job. I hope this definition influences other definitions so that things get tightened up and other places don't have to go through nearly as much trial and error.
Thoughts?
Papa's Got A Reusable Bag
Help me understandthis.You smash a window so you can break into an empty house, but while you're there all you take is a snooze and an enviro bag? Maybe you're a homeless person who needs something to carry things around in, but why not take some money or even some food while you're at it?
Police are looking for a thief who stole 40 winks and a reusable grocery bag from a Guelph homeowner. Sometime between July 23 and 25, a person broke into a residence on Edgehill Drive, getting in by smashing a rear basement window, a news release said.
The only item stolen was a black reusable grocery bag, but it appears that whoever entered the house slept in the owner’s bed before leaving.
Anyone with further information is asked to contact Police or Crime Stoppers.
You've Got Me All Wrong. I Do Respect My Elders, Which Is Why I Was Emptying The Man's Pockets So His Legs Would Be Lighter And Walking Easier
"Hello, police? I've got a bit of a situation here.
"So I'm standing out herewith this 83-year-old man pinned up against a wall while I go through his pockets.You know, just minding my own business when this hooligan comes up from out of nowhere and punches me right in the face! I'd like the bastard charged, so if you could get down here right away I'd really appreciate it. Thanks."
"Oh, I'm supposed to get in the car? I guess we're taking a ride to the station so you can take my statement?"
"Wait, what do you mean you're taking something, but its going to be me into custody for elder abuse and robbery? I was assaulted! NO fair!"
"So I'm standing out herewith this 83-year-old man pinned up against a wall while I go through his pockets.You know, just minding my own business when this hooligan comes up from out of nowhere and punches me right in the face! I'd like the bastard charged, so if you could get down here right away I'd really appreciate it. Thanks."
"Oh, I'm supposed to get in the car? I guess we're taking a ride to the station so you can take my statement?"
"Wait, what do you mean you're taking something, but its going to be me into custody for elder abuse and robbery? I was assaulted! NO fair!"
Sanity May Be Returning To Arizona Laws
Here's some good news for Arizona! a judge has blocked the worst parts of the immigration law. The governor says she's going to appeal, but for now, there will be no more police checking immigration status, and no need for immigrants to carry their papers with them at all times.
It's good to have good news to share.
It's good to have good news to share.
Canada Gets A New Sports Channel
In spite of the fact that it's yet another thing owned by Rogers,Rogers Sportsnet Onesounds good to me. I generally like Sportsnet as a network other than the regional blackouts but those are a fact of life that's not going away any time soon, and access to more out of market live events is something I can definitely get behind.
On Saturday, August 14th, Rogers Sportsnet will offer Canadian viewers an exciting new choice in sports broadcasting with the launch of Rogers Sportsnet ONE, a 24-hour sports digital channel that will feature over 800 hours of compelling live-event programming, the majority of which will be broadcast in high definition.
The live-event line-up features the Toronto Raptors, National Basketball Association, the Toronto Blue Jays, Seattle Mariners, Major League Baseball and Barclay's Premier League.
"We know there is an incredible appetite for live-event sports, and we plan to fulfill that need," said Doug Beeforth, President, Rogers Sportsnet. "We are confident that Rogers Sportsnet ONE will be a must watch for Canadian sports fans, and a great addition to the sports broadcasting landscape in this country."
Rogers Sportsnet ONE launches Aug.14th with three live events starting at 12 noon (ET) with a BPL match featuring defending champion Chelsea and West Brom, followed by a 4 p.m. (ET) matchup of top NL West teams San Diego and San Francisco and a 9 p.m. (ET) broadcast of the Blue Jays vs. Los Angeles Angels.
"Rogers Sportsnet ONE is the perfect complement to our four regional channels," said Beeforth. "We have established a reputation for live events on Rogers Sportsnet, and Rogers Sportsnet ONE continues that tradition."
Rogers Media, the owner of Rogers Sportsnet and Rogers Sportsnet ONE, received approval from the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission for a category 2 mainstream sports channel licence in March. The national channel has the ability to broadcast regional content.
Rogers Sportsnet, Canada's source for high definition live-event sports telecasts, consists of five channels: Rogers Sportsnet ONE, Sportsnet East, Sportsnet Ontario, Sportsnet West, and Sportsnet Pacific. The network launched on October 9th, 1998.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Now If We Can Just Do Something About Having To Dress Up For These Things...
I have found the new smartest man alive, and his name is Randy S. Robbins. I know not what, if anything, Mr. Robbins has accomplished outside of this, but as far as I'm concernedthis letter he wrote to the Philadelphia Daily Newsshould be more than enough.
IN OCTOBER 1993, I attended the wedding of a close friend.
The night of the wedding coincided with Game 6 of the World Series between the Phillies and the Blue Jays. Forced to miss much of the game during the ceremony, virtually all the males - myself included - repeatedly shuffled between the reception and a room that had a TV.
This Sunday evening, I must attend another wedding. Thankfully, this night falls between Games 1 and 2 of the Stanley Cup finals, so I won't be deprived of watching the hometown team battle for a long-awaited championship. But that's just dumb luck, and circumstance easily could have contrived another catastrophe for me and other Flyers fans.
I understand the need for marriage, and I suppose it still holds some social relevance, but I believe I speak for all sports fans in stating that scheduling weddings during sports seasons has got to stop.
Let's face it: Sports are undeniably more important to the American psyche than a wedding - if they weren't, then "Say Yes to the Dress" would have the billion-dollar TV contract instead of the NFL, NBA, and Major League Baseball. The hard truth is that sports - like the gladiatorial games of ancient Rome - are the glue that bonds society together.
America shrugs off divorce, annulment and infidelity, but it could never survive without the emotional decompression and financial gains of its major sports. Does anybody truly prefer wearing a stuffy outfit for three hours in an overheated hall, quietly bored out of their minds, when they could be rooting for their favorite team with beer in hand and T-shirt on shoulders?
Of course not.
Therefore, I propose - in the most non-matrimonial sense of the word - blackout dates in which weddings can no longer be held, thus enabling the viewing of sporting events to go unencumbered.
Considering that hockey and basketball seasons essentially overlap, October through June are out, which also protects the World Series. Also blacked out should be September, to include the first month of football season. That leaves July and August, which are, of course, the core of the baseball season.
By August, the pennant races are quite serious, so forget that month. Which leaves July. Nobody really wants to attend a wedding during the Dog Days of July, but the pennant races are still up for grabs, so missing a game won't kill you.
This idea may ruffle the feathers of the betrothed, but we've all wished it from time to time - including the groom. Weddings that could only occur in this designated month would make everyone's life so much easier.
We wouldn't have to unexpectedly interrupt our lives, there'd be no traveling in winter, and everyone would be happier not having to sacrifice a game for mediocre chicken marsala and line dancing. As Spock said in "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan": "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."
Or the couple.
Randy S. Robbins, Philadelphia
Please IOC, Don't Get Rooked Into This
I'm a little late on this one, but stupidity rarely has a short shelf life and this certainly falls into that category, so here goes.
Russia is going topush for chess to become an Olympic sport.And if that's not retarded enough, they're going to aim for it to be included in the *Winter* Olympics.
"regrettably, the International Olympic Committee doesn't want to add that sport to the Olympic program," Says Russian Olympic committee chairman Alexander Zhukov. "But we will insist on that."
Would it surprise any of you to learn that Mr. Zhukov headed the Russian chess federation between 2003 and 2009? Me neither.
First things first, let's take the word sport right out of the equation. Chess is not a sport to begin with, it's a board game. And its closest connection to winter, near as I can tell, is that you can play it to pass time when it's too cold to do anything else. Adding chess to the Olympics would be about as stupid as sports TV networks covering poker 18 hours a day like its a sport too...ok, bad example. But that's about as bad an example as chess in the Olympics is an idea.
However, in the interest of fairness, let's at least hear the argument for chess's Olympic inclusion.
You know what else is globally popular? Beating off. And while it requires more athletic ability than chess, it's not a winter sport either, even if you do it in the snow.
I imagine this idea will die a thousand swift deaths, but then again, if the right person with the right sized cheque makes the right presentation to the IOC, anything is possible.
Note: Everything I just said does not apply tochess boxing,which could be the best idea for a sport perhaps in history. Do you hear me, people in charge of the Summer Olympics?
Russia is going topush for chess to become an Olympic sport.And if that's not retarded enough, they're going to aim for it to be included in the *Winter* Olympics.
"regrettably, the International Olympic Committee doesn't want to add that sport to the Olympic program," Says Russian Olympic committee chairman Alexander Zhukov. "But we will insist on that."
Would it surprise any of you to learn that Mr. Zhukov headed the Russian chess federation between 2003 and 2009? Me neither.
First things first, let's take the word sport right out of the equation. Chess is not a sport to begin with, it's a board game. And its closest connection to winter, near as I can tell, is that you can play it to pass time when it's too cold to do anything else. Adding chess to the Olympics would be about as stupid as sports TV networks covering poker 18 hours a day like its a sport too...ok, bad example. But that's about as bad an example as chess in the Olympics is an idea.
However, in the interest of fairness, let's at least hear the argument for chess's Olympic inclusion.
He argued chess deserves inclusion into the Olympic program because of its global popularity.
You know what else is globally popular? Beating off. And while it requires more athletic ability than chess, it's not a winter sport either, even if you do it in the snow.
I imagine this idea will die a thousand swift deaths, but then again, if the right person with the right sized cheque makes the right presentation to the IOC, anything is possible.
Note: Everything I just said does not apply tochess boxing,which could be the best idea for a sport perhaps in history. Do you hear me, people in charge of the Summer Olympics?
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Furr
W.S.G. left a few links in the comments undermy last postand I'm sharing my favourite of the bunch,Furr by Blitzen Trapper.
The song came out in 2008, but it has that kind of timeless sound that would fit nicely anywhere over the last 45 years or so. This is the best kind of folk music there is, the kind that almost anybody can enjoy and play and sing along with.
Thanks again for the link, I'm loving this song.
The song came out in 2008, but it has that kind of timeless sound that would fit nicely anywhere over the last 45 years or so. This is the best kind of folk music there is, the kind that almost anybody can enjoy and play and sing along with.
Thanks again for the link, I'm loving this song.
3 Things I Liked Today
I listen to quite a bit of music, and to be honest, most of it either sucks pretty bad or is amazingly uninteresting. But now and then cool things come along that need them some sharing, so here are a few from today.
First up is a band out of Doylestown, Pennsylvania. They're called Peasant, and they consist of one man by the name of Damien DeRose. This song comes from his (their?) debut album, Shady Retreat, which is out now. It has kind of a folky vibe to it and is pretty easy to listen to, but I wouldn't exactly call it straight up folk. I'm not sure what I'd call it, so I'll let you listen and come up with your own description.Peasant - The End.
Next up we have some Canadian content courtesy of Nova Scotia's Old Man Luedecke. Unlike the last track, this I have no problem labelling straight up country folk. And while I'm labelling it things, let me go ahead and label it catchy as all hell.
Favourite lyric: "I have a friend Jamie and he sang to me this verse,
He said, " I'm so far behind that I think I'm first"
You can find this on the album My Hands are on Fire and Other Love Songs, available now at a music outlet near someone who may or may not be you.Old Man Luedecke - The Rear Guard.
And just for fun, here'sa video of Stevie Ray Vaughan playing Little Sister and a cover of Superstition at Austin City Limits in 1989.It's good.
More to come when I find something I don't hate.
First up is a band out of Doylestown, Pennsylvania. They're called Peasant, and they consist of one man by the name of Damien DeRose. This song comes from his (their?) debut album, Shady Retreat, which is out now. It has kind of a folky vibe to it and is pretty easy to listen to, but I wouldn't exactly call it straight up folk. I'm not sure what I'd call it, so I'll let you listen and come up with your own description.Peasant - The End.
Next up we have some Canadian content courtesy of Nova Scotia's Old Man Luedecke. Unlike the last track, this I have no problem labelling straight up country folk. And while I'm labelling it things, let me go ahead and label it catchy as all hell.
Favourite lyric: "I have a friend Jamie and he sang to me this verse,
He said, " I'm so far behind that I think I'm first"
You can find this on the album My Hands are on Fire and Other Love Songs, available now at a music outlet near someone who may or may not be you.Old Man Luedecke - The Rear Guard.
And just for fun, here'sa video of Stevie Ray Vaughan playing Little Sister and a cover of Superstition at Austin City Limits in 1989.It's good.
More to come when I find something I don't hate.
That'll Be A List Of Charges And Some Bail-Setting, Please Drive Through.
Hey there Alexander M. Lemke.
I know you're hungry, and probably high, but I don't think you need McDonald's burgers so bad that you have to steal your neighbour's car to go get the burgers. But if you do steal your neighbour's car, it's probably a good idea to pay for your burgers with conventional currency. In case you didn't know,marijuana and prescription pills are not considered to be conventional. I'm sure you understand this very well, now that you're in jail.
I know you're hungry, and probably high, but I don't think you need McDonald's burgers so bad that you have to steal your neighbour's car to go get the burgers. But if you do steal your neighbour's car, it's probably a good idea to pay for your burgers with conventional currency. In case you didn't know,marijuana and prescription pills are not considered to be conventional. I'm sure you understand this very well, now that you're in jail.
That's Not A Toilet Brush!
Eeewww! Just, eeewww!
I guess Justin Novack was living on his own, and his mom came over. She said the bathroom hadn't been cleaned in two months, so she cleaned it for him...with his toothbrush! Then she put his toothbrush back in the holder. He found feces on it, and that's when he called police.
Ug. So the moral of the story is if you're a child of Deborah Woist, keep your bathroom clean, or don't let her clean it...or maybe don't let her come to your house. Maybe that's the safest option.
I guess Justin Novack was living on his own, and his mom came over. She said the bathroom hadn't been cleaned in two months, so she cleaned it for him...with his toothbrush! Then she put his toothbrush back in the holder. He found feces on it, and that's when he called police.
Ug. So the moral of the story is if you're a child of Deborah Woist, keep your bathroom clean, or don't let her clean it...or maybe don't let her come to your house. Maybe that's the safest option.
I Could Use Somebody...To Help Me Get This Bird Shit Out Of My Yap
WhenBarbmessaged me about this yesterday, it brought even more joy to what had already been a fine day. Thank you Barb, and more importantly, thank you, pigeons!
Kings of Leon's Friday show at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre in St. Louisended after just 3 songs thanks to what can only be described as a literal shitstorm.
Apparently the venue has had a problem dating back several years with being overrun by pigeons, pigeons that tend to do what pigeons do when they overrun something. On this night, one of the birds who shall henceforth be known to all as the Saviour of Eardrums managed a bullseye and shat directly into the mouth of bassist Jared Followill. He would have gotten extra points had he nailed the singer, but really, who can complain about a job well done?
And here's a friendly suggestion for the people at Rolling stone. The part of the headline that says "Band pelted by excrement, stops show after three songs," how about changing it to "fans pelted by excrement, pigeons step in, save day"? I think that's much better, especially if you're concerned about accurate reporting.
Kings of Leon's Friday show at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre in St. Louisended after just 3 songs thanks to what can only be described as a literal shitstorm.
Apparently the venue has had a problem dating back several years with being overrun by pigeons, pigeons that tend to do what pigeons do when they overrun something. On this night, one of the birds who shall henceforth be known to all as the Saviour of Eardrums managed a bullseye and shat directly into the mouth of bassist Jared Followill. He would have gotten extra points had he nailed the singer, but really, who can complain about a job well done?
And here's a friendly suggestion for the people at Rolling stone. The part of the headline that says "Band pelted by excrement, stops show after three songs," how about changing it to "fans pelted by excrement, pigeons step in, save day"? I think that's much better, especially if you're concerned about accurate reporting.
Commercials That Drive Us Crazy In Jays Games
In our last ad roundup, I mentioned wishing I had audio for a couple of ads. Well, I've made my own audio, courtesy of a Victor Reader Stream and a TV. Apologies if the audio is a little loud. If I didn't get close, it would be too quiet.
So, here are the two Super 8 commercials I mentioned. There's pie-loving, stupid-sounding Sweet Cheeks, and Jude and her baby, where he chuckles where he says he has low rates. Yup, that's the new Super 8 voice. Blech!
There was another commercial that I wanted to make fun of in the last roundup, mostly because it annoys the hell out of us. But I didn't think it would make any sense without the audio to hear. So, here's Rogers Tech Talk Roger talking to Bill about HD. It really gets annoying.
It really gets annoying?
When everything gets repeated twice.
When everything gets repeated twice?
And the second guy has a really high-pitched, grating voice.
And the second guy has a really high-pitched, grating voice? Are you sure about this?
Well, I keep hearing it twice, so I'm convinced!
I keep hearing it twice, and want to strangle the second guy, so I'm convinced too!
It's a shame, because when they manage to make commercials that at least make you chuckle about cellphones being dropped into a huge vat of nacho cheese, or being eaten by great danes, why'd they have to go and unleash that attrocity on us? And they love playing that goddamn commercial, sometimes more than the cellphone ones.
Apologies on the great dane commercial. I had a hell of a time catching that commercial, so once I had one that was half-way decent, I gave up.
Well, that's about it for our audio extravaganza. I can't believe I spent several blue jays games chasing those suckers down. Now when half of an inning is over, I get all ready to run to the TV to catch commercials. No no no. I don't have to anymore.
So, here are the two Super 8 commercials I mentioned. There's pie-loving, stupid-sounding Sweet Cheeks, and Jude and her baby, where he chuckles where he says he has low rates. Yup, that's the new Super 8 voice. Blech!
There was another commercial that I wanted to make fun of in the last roundup, mostly because it annoys the hell out of us. But I didn't think it would make any sense without the audio to hear. So, here's Rogers Tech Talk Roger talking to Bill about HD. It really gets annoying.
It really gets annoying?
When everything gets repeated twice.
When everything gets repeated twice?
And the second guy has a really high-pitched, grating voice.
And the second guy has a really high-pitched, grating voice? Are you sure about this?
Well, I keep hearing it twice, so I'm convinced!
I keep hearing it twice, and want to strangle the second guy, so I'm convinced too!
It's a shame, because when they manage to make commercials that at least make you chuckle about cellphones being dropped into a huge vat of nacho cheese, or being eaten by great danes, why'd they have to go and unleash that attrocity on us? And they love playing that goddamn commercial, sometimes more than the cellphone ones.
Apologies on the great dane commercial. I had a hell of a time catching that commercial, so once I had one that was half-way decent, I gave up.
Well, that's about it for our audio extravaganza. I can't believe I spent several blue jays games chasing those suckers down. Now when half of an inning is over, I get all ready to run to the TV to catch commercials. No no no. I don't have to anymore.
Flash!
Attention everyone who likes to send nude pictures of themselves to their significant other's cellphone: Before you fire up the ol' camera, ask yourself one question. Does your significant other share their cellphone with someone else? If so, you might want to think twice about sending them that nude pic. I'm sure one man is having second thoughts, after his girlfriend's mom saw the pic first, and was none too pleased. He now has charges, something I don't quite understand.
Liar Liar, Pants Pocket On Fire
Remember that story about that guy with the prosthetic leg who said his friends set him on fire for losing a bet? Well, it didn't go down that way. This story makes a lot more sense, even though it's just as stupid.
The man with the burning leg is now known as Randy Malone. The story goes that someone offered him a ride into town. Then, he lit up a crack pipe. The driver of the car got upset and ordered him out of the car, at which point Malone put the burning crack pipe in his pants pocket and that's what set him on fire.
Well, at least there aren't a bunch of stupid friends out there trying to set people on fire for drinking the least. There's just one stupid guy named Randy Malone.
The man with the burning leg is now known as Randy Malone. The story goes that someone offered him a ride into town. Then, he lit up a crack pipe. The driver of the car got upset and ordered him out of the car, at which point Malone put the burning crack pipe in his pants pocket and that's what set him on fire.
Well, at least there aren't a bunch of stupid friends out there trying to set people on fire for drinking the least. There's just one stupid guy named Randy Malone.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Send In The Clowns
Listen, Dennis Hawkins, a disguise is supposed to help you blend in. Thus, I don't think an outfit composed of clown pants, a blond wig and fake boobs under a sweater is the way to go. It's also not good to walk around in said outfit asking for rides after the dye pack from the money you stole from a bank has exploded all over you.
He's gotta be a little slow, just climbing into a strange woman's car, and then sitting there after she got out with her keys and came inside to call the cops, and continuing to sit there until the cops just come over and grab him.
Nope, not meant for a life of crime.
He's gotta be a little slow, just climbing into a strange woman's car, and then sitting there after she got out with her keys and came inside to call the cops, and continuing to sit there until the cops just come over and grab him.
Nope, not meant for a life of crime.
Some Good News On The Copyright Front?
For the first time in what seems like and probably is years, the United States has made a sensible copyright-related decision, and it will hopefullycause Canada to do the same.
Among the exceptions are the following:
All of these are great ideas and that last one is certainly near and dear to my heart. Thank you for seeing some sense, Library of Congress.
In light of the new rules, Industry Minister Tony Clement announced that his department will be looking at Canada's proposed new legislation to see if there are changes that could be made.
Well, let me save him some time. Yeah, there are. They're all listed above, and I'm sure if I thought long enough or talked to enough people, they'd just be a start. These changes can't be made fast enough, and I fully expect your government to make them since up to now you've all been hell bent on subjecting Canada to U.S style rules instead of something consumer and user friendly.
A ruling by U.S. regulators that allows Americans to break certain digital locks on content and devices may throw a wrench into the Canadian government's plan to reform copyright law.
The Library of Congress, which oversees the Copyright Office, issued a set of exceptions Monday to the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, the U.S. law that in many instances makes it illegal to break digital locks put in place by copyright holders.
Among the exceptions are the following:
- Allowing people to unlock their cell phones and install any software they choose on them.
- Allowing people to break technical protections on video games to investigate or correct security flaws.
- Allowing college professors, film students and documentary filmmakers to break copy-protection measures on DVDs so they can embed clips for educational purposes, criticism, commentary and noncommercial videos.
- Allowing computer owners to bypass the need for external security devices called dongles if the dongle no longer works and cannot be replaced.
- Allowing blind people to break locks on electronic books so that they can use them with read-aloud software and similar aides.
All of these are great ideas and that last one is certainly near and dear to my heart. Thank you for seeing some sense, Library of Congress.
In light of the new rules, Industry Minister Tony Clement announced that his department will be looking at Canada's proposed new legislation to see if there are changes that could be made.
Well, let me save him some time. Yeah, there are. They're all listed above, and I'm sure if I thought long enough or talked to enough people, they'd just be a start. These changes can't be made fast enough, and I fully expect your government to make them since up to now you've all been hell bent on subjecting Canada to U.S style rules instead of something consumer and user friendly.
I Was Hoping Her Lawsuit Would Fall On Deaf Ears
Jean Barnard sounds like quite the prize. She apparently planned to go on a giant tour of Australia, but that was all cut short when a child screamed in her ear on a plane, bursting her eardrums, rendering her stone cold deaf. So...she's suing, but not the one you'd think she would. She decided to sue Qantas , the airline she flew with, for not taking the proper precautions to prevent this accident. The funny thing is she never says what those precautions are.
Well, Qantas settled, although I will never understand why. I think they could have won easily. I mean, what reasonable person could expect an airline to be able to read the unpredictable mind of a child and somehow compensate for that? They did all they could, getting her to a hospital as soon as it happened.
She doesn't help her case by writing this little snippet to a booking agent after the incident happened.
She also doesn't help by dramatically stating that her life ended the day she went deaf. Only if you let it, lady.
If she was going to sue anyone, why wouldn't she sue the kid's parents? She might not win there, either, but at least they are the ones who will be responsible for everything he does until he's 18, so it makes sense. Oh, I know why. Qantas is guaranteed to have money, this family is not.
Well, Qantas settled, although I will never understand why. I think they could have won easily. I mean, what reasonable person could expect an airline to be able to read the unpredictable mind of a child and somehow compensate for that? They did all they could, getting her to a hospital as soon as it happened.
She doesn't help her case by writing this little snippet to a booking agent after the incident happened.
"I guess we are simply fortunate that my eardrum was exploding and I was swallowing blood. Had it not been for that, I would have dragged that kid outof his mother's arms and stomped him to death. Then we would have an 'international incident'."
She also doesn't help by dramatically stating that her life ended the day she went deaf. Only if you let it, lady.
If she was going to sue anyone, why wouldn't she sue the kid's parents? She might not win there, either, but at least they are the ones who will be responsible for everything he does until he's 18, so it makes sense. Oh, I know why. Qantas is guaranteed to have money, this family is not.
I Came Upon A Roadkill Beer?
Ug. Would you drink beer served up in a taxidermied up squirrel or stoat? No, they're not killing the fuzzy things just to use as beer bottles. They were roadkill anyway. If you have that kind of money to throw away, you can knock yourself out, and Brewdog will happily take your 500-700 pounds. *Shiver*.
The Key Is...To Not Forget Your Keys!
Laura Jane Murray should have stopped at robbing two banks. Then, she might have been in the clear. But oh no, she had to rob a third one, and that's when she locked herself out of her own getaway vehicle.
She robbed the bank, ran out to her getaway car, and....crap! Her keys were inside! She actually asked to borrow a tire iron from someone, with no success, so was desperately trying to break a window with her fist when police scooped her up.
But she's still on the loose, because she told police she had serious medical problems so they took her to the hospital, but then she walked. What the?
Maybe they should just wait by her house. Maybe she locked herself out of that too.
She robbed the bank, ran out to her getaway car, and....crap! Her keys were inside! She actually asked to borrow a tire iron from someone, with no success, so was desperately trying to break a window with her fist when police scooped her up.
But she's still on the loose, because she told police she had serious medical problems so they took her to the hospital, but then she walked. What the?
Maybe they should just wait by her house. Maybe she locked herself out of that too.
Smile! You're Getting A Mug Shot
If you're stealing security equipment from a store, you would think they would have security equipment that would capture your theft attempts. That would be a safe assumption, now wouldn't it, Terrance Mitchell? I thought so.
You Have Reached Your Destination...Jail!
Ha ha ha ha ha. This is just awesome. I think this is a message from above that Horatio Toure should stop pickpocketing. He stole the wrong item.
I guess he was walking along, and saw a woman's iPhone. He felt he must have it immediately, so snatched it and ran off. Little did he know that she was testing out a suite of GPS software. So...he didn't get far.
And she wasn't testing out some little "I know where you're at" app either. This thing was designed for police forces to be able to track their personnel.
I love the part of the story where the software's creator says he knew something was wrong when he saw her position moving through the streets of San Francisco at a high rate of speed. Then she came back in and said what happened.
Well, the software works. Just ask Horatio Toure for a testimonial from his prison cell.
I guess he was walking along, and saw a woman's iPhone. He felt he must have it immediately, so snatched it and ran off. Little did he know that she was testing out a suite of GPS software. So...he didn't get far.
And she wasn't testing out some little "I know where you're at" app either. This thing was designed for police forces to be able to track their personnel.
I love the part of the story where the software's creator says he knew something was wrong when he saw her position moving through the streets of San Francisco at a high rate of speed. Then she came back in and said what happened.
Well, the software works. Just ask Horatio Toure for a testimonial from his prison cell.
Slow And Steady Wins The Race...Unless You're A Burglar
Ya know, most people break into banks or stores. They don't break into temp agencies. If they do break into a temp agency, it's because they're a client there. Maybe they need to steal back a file or something in a file. If they're not a client there, there would usually be no reason to break in.
Also, when someone decides to burglarize a place, they typically smash a window or break down a door. chiseling away at the building's wall isn't often high on the list of burglary methods. I think, now, Sitha Hen would likely agree.
I'm amazed that he managed to chisel a basketball-sized hole in the building's wall. The outside is brick, and there was a layer of concrete under that! But how long would he have had to work before there was a hole big enough for him to go through? Did he think chiseling would not set off the alarm?
And most importantly, why did he want to break in to an employment agency?
Also, when someone decides to burglarize a place, they typically smash a window or break down a door. chiseling away at the building's wall isn't often high on the list of burglary methods. I think, now, Sitha Hen would likely agree.
I'm amazed that he managed to chisel a basketball-sized hole in the building's wall. The outside is brick, and there was a layer of concrete under that! But how long would he have had to work before there was a hole big enough for him to go through? Did he think chiseling would not set off the alarm?
And most importantly, why did he want to break in to an employment agency?
It's The Smell Of Trouble
Nothin' like a depressing story to start off Monday morning.
Police were called to the house of Juliana Bryant on a disturbance call, and couldn't help but smell gas, all over the house. That's because there were open containers of it everywhere. When they asked her why there were all these open containers of gas, she said she liked the smell of it. And she was raising 3 kids. Now she's in jail, and I hope the kids are with people more capable of taking care of them.
Just great. Not only were these kids living in a house that could go up in flames at any point, and they were living with the gas fumes, but they were being raised by a gas-sniffer. Just dandy.
Police were called to the house of Juliana Bryant on a disturbance call, and couldn't help but smell gas, all over the house. That's because there were open containers of it everywhere. When they asked her why there were all these open containers of gas, she said she liked the smell of it. And she was raising 3 kids. Now she's in jail, and I hope the kids are with people more capable of taking care of them.
Just great. Not only were these kids living in a house that could go up in flames at any point, and they were living with the gas fumes, but they were being raised by a gas-sniffer. Just dandy.
Dear 570News
Thanks a bunch for trying to ruin my day of baseball yesterday. You ultimately failed, but nice try.
All was fine in the afternoon. The weather was beautiful, the birds were singing, the drinks were cold, the sounds of children playing echoed through the sunny afternoon air, and my portable radio and I were enjoying the sounds of Blue Jays baseball thanks to you, 570News. In short, it was almost a perfect day. Heck, the Jays even won! All was indeed right with the world.
Between games, I ventured inside and made what I must say turned out to be a pretty decent macaroni salad. A salad that Carin and I planned to enjoy while 570News brought us the second half of the Blue Jays day night doubleheader against the Tigers as we sat in the cool evening air.
So what do you suppose happened, 570News? What do you suppose happened? Perhaps a better question than that would be who's fault do you suppose what happened was? I know you know the answers to those questions, but out of shame I know you'll never answer them. So for the benefit of everybody else, I'll answer them for you.
For reasons only a dim witted radio executive could possibly comprehend, you didn't bring us the sounds of Blue Jays baseball as we sat in the cool evening air, did you, 570News? NO, you didn't. What you gave us instead was a heaping helping of horrible courtesy of that god awful Fox Sports Radio you insist on broadcasting on weekends and during week day overnights. I really wish you'd stop that, but more importantly, I wish you'd stop disrespecting the Jays. For crying out sideways, the Jays and you are both owned by Rogers, so there's no excuse for what you did last night. there's no excuse for not broadcasting the afternoon games during the week either, come to think of it. I'm sure Gary Doyle is quite a likeable fellow, but there's no way his show is more important than a Jays game, and I bet he'd like a day off now and again too. Same goes for that endless afternoon news cycle you've got going on. That could easily be reduced to updates during the between inning breaks like you do the rest of the time. There's really no need for traffic and weather every 10 minutes on the 1's, much as you'd like to believe there is.
But I digress.
The point is that you ruined Sunday night baseball on a fantastic summer night for countless people yesterday, and if not for the fact that I paid the $20 for Gameday Audio back in spring training and my computer is in just the right spot and has good sound, you would have ruined it for me too.
Thanks for caring so much about your listeners and about Canada's only major league baseball team, you fools.
Sincerely,
An annoyed listener.
All was fine in the afternoon. The weather was beautiful, the birds were singing, the drinks were cold, the sounds of children playing echoed through the sunny afternoon air, and my portable radio and I were enjoying the sounds of Blue Jays baseball thanks to you, 570News. In short, it was almost a perfect day. Heck, the Jays even won! All was indeed right with the world.
Between games, I ventured inside and made what I must say turned out to be a pretty decent macaroni salad. A salad that Carin and I planned to enjoy while 570News brought us the second half of the Blue Jays day night doubleheader against the Tigers as we sat in the cool evening air.
So what do you suppose happened, 570News? What do you suppose happened? Perhaps a better question than that would be who's fault do you suppose what happened was? I know you know the answers to those questions, but out of shame I know you'll never answer them. So for the benefit of everybody else, I'll answer them for you.
For reasons only a dim witted radio executive could possibly comprehend, you didn't bring us the sounds of Blue Jays baseball as we sat in the cool evening air, did you, 570News? NO, you didn't. What you gave us instead was a heaping helping of horrible courtesy of that god awful Fox Sports Radio you insist on broadcasting on weekends and during week day overnights. I really wish you'd stop that, but more importantly, I wish you'd stop disrespecting the Jays. For crying out sideways, the Jays and you are both owned by Rogers, so there's no excuse for what you did last night. there's no excuse for not broadcasting the afternoon games during the week either, come to think of it. I'm sure Gary Doyle is quite a likeable fellow, but there's no way his show is more important than a Jays game, and I bet he'd like a day off now and again too. Same goes for that endless afternoon news cycle you've got going on. That could easily be reduced to updates during the between inning breaks like you do the rest of the time. There's really no need for traffic and weather every 10 minutes on the 1's, much as you'd like to believe there is.
But I digress.
The point is that you ruined Sunday night baseball on a fantastic summer night for countless people yesterday, and if not for the fact that I paid the $20 for Gameday Audio back in spring training and my computer is in just the right spot and has good sound, you would have ruined it for me too.
Thanks for caring so much about your listeners and about Canada's only major league baseball team, you fools.
Sincerely,
An annoyed listener.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
This Is A Test Of The Blogger By Email System
Hey! Well, would ya look at me, bloggin' by email!
...
At least I hope so.
Braille Fail!
Well, I'm feeling like just the slightest bit of a failure. When given the choice between making something and buying it, I went the lazy way and bought it. Damn it all.
Ok, so here's the story. The Guelph Barrier-Free committees are going to have a booth at an event called the Teddy Bear Picnic. It's on August 19 at McCrae House in Guelph from 1 to 4. Organizations come out and put on kid-friendly activities to do with their organization, and do something involving teddy bears! So we thought we could come, bring colouring books, and a few other things. I never knew there was a bear with a white cane out there, but there is one. One thing I thought I'd do was bring braille alphabet cards, and braille kids' names. Then, they'd have a little detective game to play to match the letters on their tag with the alphabet.
For some reason I can't comprehend, the CNIB doesn't make braille alphabet cards anymore. So I thought, no biggy, I'll just make 'em myself! I was kinda looking forward to it. I would be bringing a whole wack of homemade cards, cards that I sat down to make myself, just for them. I would feel good about it. Plus, I had a heap of index cards that I bought for just this purpose when I volunteered somewhere, but never got to use them. They would finally be put to good use.
...
Until I started to make the cards. First, the brailler's margin doesn't go quite narrow enough to fit the page, so when you get that warning bell that's supposed to mean you only have 5 spaces left, you actually have maybe 2.
And, if you don't put the card in just so, you end up gorking the last letter of your line. g's started looking like b's or h's.
There's nothing worse than going a b c d e f...fuck! and having to throw away a card. I managed to make about 10 good ones, and then break 5.
Steve was watching me, and said "Does Future Aids sell these suckers already done?" He went and looked, and there they were.
At first, I did not want to cave. I was going to make them myself. This was what I was going to do for the committee. But...after I broke a couple more cards, I caved. I caved, and I bought them. A pack of 100 cards will arrive in the mail. They'll all be uniform with no cut off letters. I figure accuracy is better than my own silly pride.
And at least I will be bringing a braille book and I will sit and braille everybody's name, and I'll have my big ol' black fuzzball to use to talk about guide dogs, so I'm adding that little touch. But damn it all, these alphabet cards were going to be my big contribution to the event. Now I've wussed out and bought pre-made ones.
Oh well, at least now I've let a few more people know about the existence of alphabet cards from Future Aids. Maybe that's better.
Ok, so here's the story. The Guelph Barrier-Free committees are going to have a booth at an event called the Teddy Bear Picnic. It's on August 19 at McCrae House in Guelph from 1 to 4. Organizations come out and put on kid-friendly activities to do with their organization, and do something involving teddy bears! So we thought we could come, bring colouring books, and a few other things. I never knew there was a bear with a white cane out there, but there is one. One thing I thought I'd do was bring braille alphabet cards, and braille kids' names. Then, they'd have a little detective game to play to match the letters on their tag with the alphabet.
For some reason I can't comprehend, the CNIB doesn't make braille alphabet cards anymore. So I thought, no biggy, I'll just make 'em myself! I was kinda looking forward to it. I would be bringing a whole wack of homemade cards, cards that I sat down to make myself, just for them. I would feel good about it. Plus, I had a heap of index cards that I bought for just this purpose when I volunteered somewhere, but never got to use them. They would finally be put to good use.
...
Until I started to make the cards. First, the brailler's margin doesn't go quite narrow enough to fit the page, so when you get that warning bell that's supposed to mean you only have 5 spaces left, you actually have maybe 2.
And, if you don't put the card in just so, you end up gorking the last letter of your line. g's started looking like b's or h's.
There's nothing worse than going a b c d e f...fuck! and having to throw away a card. I managed to make about 10 good ones, and then break 5.
Steve was watching me, and said "Does Future Aids sell these suckers already done?" He went and looked, and there they were.
At first, I did not want to cave. I was going to make them myself. This was what I was going to do for the committee. But...after I broke a couple more cards, I caved. I caved, and I bought them. A pack of 100 cards will arrive in the mail. They'll all be uniform with no cut off letters. I figure accuracy is better than my own silly pride.
And at least I will be bringing a braille book and I will sit and braille everybody's name, and I'll have my big ol' black fuzzball to use to talk about guide dogs, so I'm adding that little touch. But damn it all, these alphabet cards were going to be my big contribution to the event. Now I've wussed out and bought pre-made ones.
Oh well, at least now I've let a few more people know about the existence of alphabet cards from Future Aids. Maybe that's better.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
The Trek To New Trekker Software And Maps
Hehehe! It's a good day! Why is it a good day? Because I got my Trekker software and maps updated! Yeeee! I have yet to go take Trekker on a test walk, mainly because I'm crazy and finally got things updated at 2 or 3 in the morning. I'll talk about my impressions after I've taken it for a spin. But I'm so happy happy happy that I've got the new stuff in!
Let's back track a bit. When I first got the Trekker, I tried to plug it into its cradle and get it to talk to the computer, and noticed I couldn't. It wouldn't even draw power from the cradle. I tried running it off Steve's computer because somebody said I needed Microsoft Outlook for it to work, and Steve had Outlook and I didn't. Still no go. I called tech support, and they advised me to get a sync cable. What the heck's a sync cable? Well, it does what the cradle should, only without the cradle bit. You plug one end into the computer and one end into the Trekker, and it charges your PDA and syncs it with the compy. Ok then.
But then the trouble started. Where the hell to find a sync cable? Personally, I have found that finding parts for the PDA is like pulling teeth. You have to go to these weird sites that have long lists of parts with weird names, and you're left wondering if you can get the right part or not. Or, they say the part works with a whole list of PDA's, and they get close to the model number of my PDA, but then they don't mention it. You're left wondering if they just overlooked that number, assuming you would know whether it worked or not, or whether it really doesn't work with it. I really don't want to get into the business of buying all these parts that may or may not work with Trekker, and I don't want one of the parts to fry or corrupt my PDA either.
But I'm not exactly down with sending my PDA back to Humanware. I have come to depend on this thing, with all the rerouting of buses, so you would have to pry it out of my white-knuckled grasp to send it away for repair. I mean, sending it away could mean that it could be gone for a month! A month of going back to "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Mr. Bus driver, are we there yet?" Are you kidding? The one day I didn't bring it with me, I was forgotten on a bus. So I have come to depend on my little buddy Trekker.
I was telling the Trekker yahoo group, which by the way is an awesome resource, about my woes, and someone gave me a link to a place where I could buy a Trekker cradle. I ran out and bought it, sure that since someone else checked out the link, it was good...
...
And when it arrived in the mail, it wasn't the right fit! My first worrysome sign was the AC adaptor part looked slightly different. That made me nervous that it may have different voltage. And...I could not get the PDA's ports to properly connect with the cradle. They could come really close, close enough that they'd be *almost* touching, but they need to make contact to communicate with each other. It reminded me of that scene in the final episode of Star Trek TNG when the amino acids couldn't get together. That poor little pond of goo. They got closer, and closer, and closer! Aww! Nothing happened!
Anyway, the Trekker and the cradle wouldn't make that satisfying click that the other cradle did, even though something appeared to be broken in the other cradle's contacts. So, I now own a cradle that doesn't appear to work with my PDA. If anyone owns an HP IPAQ HX 2490 PDA and needs a cradle and would like one, I'd be happy to give it a good home. I bought this cradle, so you know what you would be getting. Email me if you're interested. We can work something out.
So, defeated and dejected, I started asking about a sync cable, and was recommended a sync cable from RepairHpPDA.com, in fact you'll find the cable I was recommended on that page. It would only cost me 6 bucks, and what did I have to lose? So, after I sat and thought and worried that I would be buying yet another accessory I couldn't use, I bought it! And...it worked! Well, first it taunted me, because the computer couldn't find my PDA, but once I rebooted with the PDA plugged in, it found it!
It feels good to be able to do anything I could possibly need to do with my Trekker. If the software ever goes nuts, I can reinstall it. I can sync the clock with the computer. I can do all the things I was supposed to be able to do, and that includes updating the software and maps! Woooo!
Here are all the new features available in the software, taken right from Humanware.
Ooo! Yup, sounds like I could do with that little upgrade. I'll totally be diggin' the automatic changing from motorized to pedestrian modes.
The first thing I had to do was get the newest map manager, and convert all the routes I had constructed to a new style, or something. Apparently, they had changed the format of how routes are stored, so all your old routes wouldn't work unless you did the convert thing.
So I did that. That went perfectly.
I installed the software, and that went perfectly painlessly. I did have to laugh at a couple spots, because it sounded like it had been written by a French fellow. "Please remove all the memory card." Heheheh!
After that was done, it was recommended that I back up my personal points of interest and routes that I had made. Well, I tried, but the map manager would have none of it. I guess, somehow, the little write protect tab on the SD card had gotten moved half way between write and read only. After that was all fixed up, I could back up my points of interest and routes, and go ahead with the maps!
Now, the maps. First, the maps are huge. You can tell they have more stuff, each map is bigger than the old ones. If you want to get the new maps, and you have a Trekker or Trekker Breeze, pop on over here to get authorization. They'll ask for your email address and your serial number. Then they'll send you an FTP link where you can download them. Or, I think I heard you can pay to have them shipped to you on a DVD if your computer is unreliable or your connection blows a goat or whatever.
So, now that you have the maps, you use the map manager to transfer them to your Trekker and delete the old maps. There is no other way to do it, no way, no how. Let me just warn you that it's...sloooow. After I had somewhat wrestled with the sync connection, and other things, I started the transfer at around 1:15 ish in the morning. I only had two maps to do. I don't think I was done until close to 4. Blech! So either start it and go to bed, or do it in the day so you won't mind so much.
But, after much beep...beep...beep...beeping, I have new Trekker, and new maps! Woooo! I was going to take the new maps on a big ol' test run, but the air is so thick you could suck it through a straw. So I'll just have to settle for a mini run. But I'm so excited! I got my Trekker to talk to the computer, I got it updated, and I got the new maps! And everyone thinks I'm the biggest geek in the world. Oh well.
Let's back track a bit. When I first got the Trekker, I tried to plug it into its cradle and get it to talk to the computer, and noticed I couldn't. It wouldn't even draw power from the cradle. I tried running it off Steve's computer because somebody said I needed Microsoft Outlook for it to work, and Steve had Outlook and I didn't. Still no go. I called tech support, and they advised me to get a sync cable. What the heck's a sync cable? Well, it does what the cradle should, only without the cradle bit. You plug one end into the computer and one end into the Trekker, and it charges your PDA and syncs it with the compy. Ok then.
But then the trouble started. Where the hell to find a sync cable? Personally, I have found that finding parts for the PDA is like pulling teeth. You have to go to these weird sites that have long lists of parts with weird names, and you're left wondering if you can get the right part or not. Or, they say the part works with a whole list of PDA's, and they get close to the model number of my PDA, but then they don't mention it. You're left wondering if they just overlooked that number, assuming you would know whether it worked or not, or whether it really doesn't work with it. I really don't want to get into the business of buying all these parts that may or may not work with Trekker, and I don't want one of the parts to fry or corrupt my PDA either.
But I'm not exactly down with sending my PDA back to Humanware. I have come to depend on this thing, with all the rerouting of buses, so you would have to pry it out of my white-knuckled grasp to send it away for repair. I mean, sending it away could mean that it could be gone for a month! A month of going back to "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Mr. Bus driver, are we there yet?" Are you kidding? The one day I didn't bring it with me, I was forgotten on a bus. So I have come to depend on my little buddy Trekker.
I was telling the Trekker yahoo group, which by the way is an awesome resource, about my woes, and someone gave me a link to a place where I could buy a Trekker cradle. I ran out and bought it, sure that since someone else checked out the link, it was good...
...
And when it arrived in the mail, it wasn't the right fit! My first worrysome sign was the AC adaptor part looked slightly different. That made me nervous that it may have different voltage. And...I could not get the PDA's ports to properly connect with the cradle. They could come really close, close enough that they'd be *almost* touching, but they need to make contact to communicate with each other. It reminded me of that scene in the final episode of Star Trek TNG when the amino acids couldn't get together. That poor little pond of goo. They got closer, and closer, and closer! Aww! Nothing happened!
Anyway, the Trekker and the cradle wouldn't make that satisfying click that the other cradle did, even though something appeared to be broken in the other cradle's contacts. So, I now own a cradle that doesn't appear to work with my PDA. If anyone owns an HP IPAQ HX 2490 PDA and needs a cradle and would like one, I'd be happy to give it a good home. I bought this cradle, so you know what you would be getting. Email me if you're interested. We can work something out.
So, defeated and dejected, I started asking about a sync cable, and was recommended a sync cable from RepairHpPDA.com, in fact you'll find the cable I was recommended on that page. It would only cost me 6 bucks, and what did I have to lose? So, after I sat and thought and worried that I would be buying yet another accessory I couldn't use, I bought it! And...it worked! Well, first it taunted me, because the computer couldn't find my PDA, but once I rebooted with the PDA plugged in, it found it!
It feels good to be able to do anything I could possibly need to do with my Trekker. If the software ever goes nuts, I can reinstall it. I can sync the clock with the computer. I can do all the things I was supposed to be able to do, and that includes updating the software and maps! Woooo!
Here are all the new features available in the software, taken right from Humanware.
What’s New in Trekker 3.1?
Trekker 3.1 contains a wide range of new and improved features:
1. Benefit from advanced street positioning
• Occurrences of mapping on lateral streets when crossing an intersection have been reduced.
• Improved detection of very close intersections in pedestrian and motorized modes.
• A more precise vocabulary has been adopted to describe uncertain situations (e.g. “Unavailable” messages).
• Quicker announcement of street name after turning on a lateral street.
2. Obtain enhanced route information:
• Exit numbers in roundabouts are now announced when a motorized route is activated.
• When off route, from a distance of 150 meters, automatic re-routing is allowed either in motorized and pedestrian routes. Manual rerouting is also possible.
For convenience, a one handed shortcut on the numerical pad "0" key has been added to manually re-route in pedestrian or motorized modes.
• Right Validate gives instant access to the next instruction. Left Validate gives the previous instruction. When no route is activated Right Validate announces
next intersection.
• In motorized routing, the next instruction and its distance after a maneuver at an intersection is announced automatically.
• When a route is activated Trekker gives a "Turn Back" message at intersection detection if user starts the route in the wrong direction.
• In case of quick routes destination, automatic reroute is applied when first intersection is missed.
• In the Route menu, Edit is now replaced by Rename.
• Quick routes can be created up to 100 meters away from street (both origin and destination).
• When activating a route far away from the origin, the initial instruction takes into account the current context and gives the proper instruction towards
destination.
3. Enjoy a more efficient navigation
• When travelling in a vehicle, Trekker switches automatically to motorized mode when the speed reaches 15 km/h. When getting off the vehicle, pedestrian
mode is activated. Navigation mode changes are vocally announced. The existing shortcuts for manual switches are also available.
• Distance to the next intersection is available in the Where am I information command.
• In Free mode, guidance is now provided according to clockwise instructions.
• P.O.I. and intersection detection announcements do not interrupt user requested information such as Where Am I? , Route Information and Next Instruction.
• When browsing offline, the travelled distance can be heard. This feature is available in the browsing offline verbosity settings.
• 3-way intersections are fully described even with identical names: "3-way intersection: Street A crossing Street A on your right".
4. More Points of interest are detected
• The distance range for P.O.I. search in free mode has been increased up to 10 km. Search is now done by incremental rings. Available search distance ranges
are: 0 to 500 meters, 500 to 1000 meters, 1000 meters to 1.5 km, 1.5 to 2.5 km, 2.5 to 5 km and 5 to 10 km.
• In motorized mode, the detection range of points of interest has been increased to 50 meters.
• When browsing offline, it is possible to search for points of interest according to the current virtual position by using the Search by distance function.
5. Issues corrected
• The spontaneous creation of an additional folder on the SD card has been solved.
• Maps on the SD card are automatically activated. If there are more than four maps on the card, Trekker will activate four maps on the top of the list.
Access the settings to change the selections.
• The Search by address option is replaced by Search by name.
• Volume and Speech Rate are coordinated with Maestro System Bar settings.
• When the verbosity of P.O.Is is set to tone, P.O.I detection now works properly.
• UK dictionary has been improved, better pronunciation of certain street names.
6. New GPS Receivers are supported
Following GPS receivers have been added to the supported list:
• Holux M-1000C
• iBlue 737 A+
• iBlue MobileMate 886
• Royaltek RBT-2100 (Revision 2)
Ooo! Yup, sounds like I could do with that little upgrade. I'll totally be diggin' the automatic changing from motorized to pedestrian modes.
The first thing I had to do was get the newest map manager, and convert all the routes I had constructed to a new style, or something. Apparently, they had changed the format of how routes are stored, so all your old routes wouldn't work unless you did the convert thing.
So I did that. That went perfectly.
I installed the software, and that went perfectly painlessly. I did have to laugh at a couple spots, because it sounded like it had been written by a French fellow. "Please remove all the memory card." Heheheh!
After that was done, it was recommended that I back up my personal points of interest and routes that I had made. Well, I tried, but the map manager would have none of it. I guess, somehow, the little write protect tab on the SD card had gotten moved half way between write and read only. After that was all fixed up, I could back up my points of interest and routes, and go ahead with the maps!
Now, the maps. First, the maps are huge. You can tell they have more stuff, each map is bigger than the old ones. If you want to get the new maps, and you have a Trekker or Trekker Breeze, pop on over here to get authorization. They'll ask for your email address and your serial number. Then they'll send you an FTP link where you can download them. Or, I think I heard you can pay to have them shipped to you on a DVD if your computer is unreliable or your connection blows a goat or whatever.
So, now that you have the maps, you use the map manager to transfer them to your Trekker and delete the old maps. There is no other way to do it, no way, no how. Let me just warn you that it's...sloooow. After I had somewhat wrestled with the sync connection, and other things, I started the transfer at around 1:15 ish in the morning. I only had two maps to do. I don't think I was done until close to 4. Blech! So either start it and go to bed, or do it in the day so you won't mind so much.
But, after much beep...beep...beep...beeping, I have new Trekker, and new maps! Woooo! I was going to take the new maps on a big ol' test run, but the air is so thick you could suck it through a straw. So I'll just have to settle for a mini run. But I'm so excited! I got my Trekker to talk to the computer, I got it updated, and I got the new maps! And everyone thinks I'm the biggest geek in the world. Oh well.
Peanut Butter Sandwich, Made For Bear?
I shouldn't laugh at this, because when you think about it long and hard, it's not one bit funny. But forgive me. I'm sitting up late, wrestling a new set of maps into my Trekker, so I think my threshold for hilarious is down a bit from its usual spot.
Here's a message for anyone who lives anywhere near bears. Don't leave food in your car. Bears can get in, and they will. But once they're inside, that's when the problems start, at least for one particular bear, and one particular family in Colorado.
I guess some silly person left a peanut butter sandwich in the back seat. A bear came along, and...sniffa sniffa mmm! Sandwich in car! Me want sandwich! Hmmm handle. Open? Yes! Bear get in car, Sniffa sniffa sniffa must find sandwich. Lot of stuff. Toot toot goes horn. Hmmm bear don't like noise! bump! Uh-oh, now car moving! Crash! door slam! Now bear can't get out! Scramble scramble scramble claw claw claw...
Somebody saw the car sliding down the driveway into the thicket with the bear behind the wheel, and called 911. I guess, while the bear was trying to get to the food, it hit the gearshift, switching the car into neutral, and it rolled backwards. Police were able to open the door with a rope so the bear could run off into the woods.
But the poor, poor car. It was completely destroyed by the bear who was desperately trying to get out once the door slammed shut. The driver's seat also had a new occupant. A big ol' stemin' pile of bear dung. And the bear might end up getting shot because it's considered dangerous because it hunts for human food.
Now, that's an expensive way to learn to not leave food in the car.
Here's a message for anyone who lives anywhere near bears. Don't leave food in your car. Bears can get in, and they will. But once they're inside, that's when the problems start, at least for one particular bear, and one particular family in Colorado.
I guess some silly person left a peanut butter sandwich in the back seat. A bear came along, and...sniffa sniffa mmm! Sandwich in car! Me want sandwich! Hmmm handle. Open? Yes! Bear get in car, Sniffa sniffa sniffa must find sandwich. Lot of stuff. Toot toot goes horn. Hmmm bear don't like noise! bump! Uh-oh, now car moving! Crash! door slam! Now bear can't get out! Scramble scramble scramble claw claw claw...
Somebody saw the car sliding down the driveway into the thicket with the bear behind the wheel, and called 911. I guess, while the bear was trying to get to the food, it hit the gearshift, switching the car into neutral, and it rolled backwards. Police were able to open the door with a rope so the bear could run off into the woods.
But the poor, poor car. It was completely destroyed by the bear who was desperately trying to get out once the door slammed shut. The driver's seat also had a new occupant. A big ol' stemin' pile of bear dung. And the bear might end up getting shot because it's considered dangerous because it hunts for human food.
Now, that's an expensive way to learn to not leave food in the car.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Sir, If We Catch You Driving That Thing Again We May Have To Put You In The Cooler
Neil Rideout says he was just trying to do the right thing and help the environment by driving a vehicle that's less harmful than a regular car. But the police say dude, we can't have folkstooling down the sidewalks of Nova Scotia in motorized coolers.
Rideout has decided to fight that $222 ticket, and I can't really say I blame him. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to run into that sumbitch on one of my local sidewalks and Staff Sgt. Walter Rutherford does say that under the highway traffic act you can only drive a motorized vehicle on a sidewalk if it's a wheelchair or one of those disability scooters, but on the other hand he was told to drive it there by another officer so he may have a tiny bit of a case.
I'm just amazed that we can finally report a story about somebody driving a customized cooler/barstool/chair that doesn't involve the person being hammered out of his tree.
He thought the cooler —which sits on four wheels, is equipped with cup holders, a radio and a connection for an MP3 player — would be great for quick trips.
After starting out with just one horsepower — and the ability to travel just one kilometre per hour — Rideout took it to a fabrication shop where a turbo-charged 5.5-horsepower motor was added, enabling it to travel 50 km/h.
Rideout said he was stopped by police twice; once to tell him he had to wear a helmet, a second time telling him to keep it on the sidewalk.
Four days later, while driving to a store, he was issued a ticket for driving on a sidewalk and fined $222.
Rideout has decided to fight that $222 ticket, and I can't really say I blame him. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to run into that sumbitch on one of my local sidewalks and Staff Sgt. Walter Rutherford does say that under the highway traffic act you can only drive a motorized vehicle on a sidewalk if it's a wheelchair or one of those disability scooters, but on the other hand he was told to drive it there by another officer so he may have a tiny bit of a case.
I'm just amazed that we can finally report a story about somebody driving a customized cooler/barstool/chair that doesn't involve the person being hammered out of his tree.
Happy 5000th, VC!
Well would you look at that! This post, the one you're reading right now, is post number 5000! Yes, 5000!
I know what you're thinking. You assholes have been around for almost 7 years with 3 of you writing and you've only managed to crank out 5000 posts?
And to that I say well . . . you see . . . here's the thing . . . um . . . it's like this . . . yeah, we've had our lazy spells, but for some reason people keep coming here. and to all of those people whether they like us or want to see us die in a horrible fuck fuckity fuck fuck ouchtype accident, whether they just passed through and maybe ended up in ayou are here?,whether they stuck around for a while but have since disappeared or have been around for a year or 2 now or even from the beginning, thank you. I'd say we couldn't have done this without you, but truth be told we could have, just for less people, or at least for different ones. But we do appreciate everybody who decides, usually against their better judgment, to pay us a visit.
Thanks for all of the comments and emails, even the completely stupid ones. they've all added to the conversation and given us material to work with.
We've also gotten to know some pretty nice people through doing this, people who hopefully one day will teach us how to be nice also. I won't bother naming anybody, you should all know who you are. Besides, the last thing I need to deal with is somebody getting all butt hurt because I didn't mention their name.
So yeah, thanks again, and here's hoping for another 5000.
I know what you're thinking. You assholes have been around for almost 7 years with 3 of you writing and you've only managed to crank out 5000 posts?
And to that I say well . . . you see . . . here's the thing . . . um . . . it's like this . . . yeah, we've had our lazy spells, but for some reason people keep coming here. and to all of those people whether they like us or want to see us die in a horrible fuck fuckity fuck fuck ouchtype accident, whether they just passed through and maybe ended up in ayou are here?,whether they stuck around for a while but have since disappeared or have been around for a year or 2 now or even from the beginning, thank you. I'd say we couldn't have done this without you, but truth be told we could have, just for less people, or at least for different ones. But we do appreciate everybody who decides, usually against their better judgment, to pay us a visit.
Thanks for all of the comments and emails, even the completely stupid ones. they've all added to the conversation and given us material to work with.
We've also gotten to know some pretty nice people through doing this, people who hopefully one day will teach us how to be nice also. I won't bother naming anybody, you should all know who you are. Besides, the last thing I need to deal with is somebody getting all butt hurt because I didn't mention their name.
So yeah, thanks again, and here's hoping for another 5000.
It's All Over!
I can't believe how fast time goes. It seems like just yesterday that this whole prediction contest thing started, and now the damn thing's over. Like seriously, how did that happen?
I won't waste any time and just cut to the chase. I didn't win, but I think I did pretty well. I ended up in a 10-way tie for 8th place, finishing with 50 points. Eric B, the guy who won, only had 57, so the race was pretty close and I'll happily take the even 50. Amazingly, good old Ryan S almost beat us all, but he ended up with 4, coming up just a little short. Better luck next time, buddy.
Speaking of ties, there's a 3-way tie for 2nd place, which for the record is 56 points. I think the second place winner was also supposed to get a prize, so I'm not sure how they're going to settle that one.
As for what Eric gets for winning, it's a 3 year extension of his Elite subscription, which is a pretty swell prize worth around $210 US.
I mentioned above that I ended up with 50 points for the year. If you recall, when we last talked about this I had 45, so I went 5 out of 7 on my Money In The Bank picks. I could have gone 6 for 7, but since I'm a fucking idiot I picked Kofi Kingston to win the Smackdown MITB match for some reason. Christ, that was stupid. I realized almost as soon as I sent in my sheet that I should have picked Kane. A lot of people seemed to be betting on Drew McIntyre, but Kane makes the most sense based on where I think the who attacked the Undertaker storyline is heading. The only other one I got wrong was Layla vs. Kelly Kelly.
The show was a good one, especially by recent WWE PPV standards. Both ladder matches were fun, but I'd have to say that the Smackdown one was slightly better. Miz winning the Raw one was definitely the right thing to do at the right time. I can totally see Miz as a world champion for at least a little while at some point down the road, which is amazing given how much he fucking well sucked when he first came to the company doing that ridiculous hoo raah! thing. Everything else on the show was decent to pretty good aside from maybe Layla and Kelly, but I'm not sure who would have expected much from that match anyway. If you're thinking about taking the time to watch it, I'm happy to say go ahead. You shouldn't be disappointed.
I'm not sure if there's going to be another one of these contests, but I'm hoping there is. I had fun this year, and I'd like to see it continue until such time as I win. They can do what they want after that, but for now, let's keep it going.
I won't waste any time and just cut to the chase. I didn't win, but I think I did pretty well. I ended up in a 10-way tie for 8th place, finishing with 50 points. Eric B, the guy who won, only had 57, so the race was pretty close and I'll happily take the even 50. Amazingly, good old Ryan S almost beat us all, but he ended up with 4, coming up just a little short. Better luck next time, buddy.
Speaking of ties, there's a 3-way tie for 2nd place, which for the record is 56 points. I think the second place winner was also supposed to get a prize, so I'm not sure how they're going to settle that one.
As for what Eric gets for winning, it's a 3 year extension of his Elite subscription, which is a pretty swell prize worth around $210 US.
I mentioned above that I ended up with 50 points for the year. If you recall, when we last talked about this I had 45, so I went 5 out of 7 on my Money In The Bank picks. I could have gone 6 for 7, but since I'm a fucking idiot I picked Kofi Kingston to win the Smackdown MITB match for some reason. Christ, that was stupid. I realized almost as soon as I sent in my sheet that I should have picked Kane. A lot of people seemed to be betting on Drew McIntyre, but Kane makes the most sense based on where I think the who attacked the Undertaker storyline is heading. The only other one I got wrong was Layla vs. Kelly Kelly.
The show was a good one, especially by recent WWE PPV standards. Both ladder matches were fun, but I'd have to say that the Smackdown one was slightly better. Miz winning the Raw one was definitely the right thing to do at the right time. I can totally see Miz as a world champion for at least a little while at some point down the road, which is amazing given how much he fucking well sucked when he first came to the company doing that ridiculous hoo raah! thing. Everything else on the show was decent to pretty good aside from maybe Layla and Kelly, but I'm not sure who would have expected much from that match anyway. If you're thinking about taking the time to watch it, I'm happy to say go ahead. You shouldn't be disappointed.
I'm not sure if there's going to be another one of these contests, but I'm hoping there is. I had fun this year, and I'd like to see it continue until such time as I win. They can do what they want after that, but for now, let's keep it going.
Hi! This Is Carin, With An Important Message About The Demise Of Some Fraudsters!
Reading this news story brings me much, much joy.
If you ever received a phone call that consisted of a recorded message saying something like
Ha, ha ha ha ha! This makes me want to jump up and down. Scumbags!
If you ever received a phone call that consisted of a recorded message saying something like
"There are no problems currently with your account however it is urgent that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rates to as little as 6.9 per cent. Your eligibility expires shortly so please consider this your final notice. Please press 1 now to speak to a live operator and lower your interest rates,"you won't be getting any more of those, at least not from a company called MCS. They got so totally busted for scamming tons of folks out of fees and then doing exactly jack for them, all the while promissing to lower their interest rates, and will be paying everybody back.
Ha, ha ha ha ha! This makes me want to jump up and down. Scumbags!
When You Dine And Dash, Don't Dash Too Fast
Here's a group of women who should just forget about doing the whole dine and dash thing. They're no good at it.
Three women who appeared to be a little looped out on something came to a waffle house and managed to eat enough to have a $40 bill. Then, they ran off, but two of them left their purses behind, and both women who left their purses worked at another waffle house.
To make things even better, one of the women came back demanding their purses. Who does that? If you ran off without paying, they're going to remember you, especially if you left your purse behind! She was told she could wait for the cops, but she ran off again.
For some reason I can't understand, no charges have been filed yet. What a bunch of odd, dumb people.
Three women who appeared to be a little looped out on something came to a waffle house and managed to eat enough to have a $40 bill. Then, they ran off, but two of them left their purses behind, and both women who left their purses worked at another waffle house.
To make things even better, one of the women came back demanding their purses. Who does that? If you ran off without paying, they're going to remember you, especially if you left your purse behind! She was told she could wait for the cops, but she ran off again.
For some reason I can't understand, no charges have been filed yet. What a bunch of odd, dumb people.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Canada's Most Reliably Awful Company
I'm going to largely letthis articlespeak for itself and only say that if there was a better option for internet, TV and cell phone service around here, I'd switch in a heartbeat. Oh and fuck off Rogers, you money grubbing, telemarketing, predatory, radio and TV station ruining sonsofbitches!
I should point out that this doesn't appear to impact our particular internet plan, at least not yet. I'm sure they'll find a way to hose us over, they always do. They have an entire department devoted to that actually, it's called Rogers Communications. So I'll be expecting to get the "at Rogers, we strive to bring you the best in entertainment and to do so we're raising your rates again and you're gonna bend over and take it like the retarded little piss ant unimportant consumer you are" letter in the mail any day now.
The article goes on to point this out, but as soon as I read the headline I knew that the timing of this announcement was no accident. Once Netflix comes to Canada, it and Rogers are in direct competition. Rogers has its own streaming video service called On Demand Online, and if people buy Netflix, current Rogers customers won't need to use it and people on other ISP's won't need to come to Rogers at all. so by making this move, it makes a Netflix subscription more costly since overages are almost inevitable, which Rogers hopes will drive people away and back into their loving arms. And either way Rogers is sitting pretty, because no matter who streams your video, you're going over your limit and getting dinged with the recently raised per gig charge.
Peckers.
So much for letting the article speak for itself, but this company infuriates me sometimes. It may in fact be the worst company I've ever dealt with in my life. Yeah, nobody else even comes close. From customer service reps who don't know anything about the products they're trying to sell me, to the troop of knuckle dragging goobers who install those products improperly resulting in my email fucking up and eventually our modem being disconnected without any notice because it somehow got reported to the network as stolen from Ottawa, to the myriad price increases even though no tangible value has been added to the service we receive, Rogers has it all. They're also the same nimrods who expect people topay $4.25 for a 30 second ringtone.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is eat a bowl of flaming dicks, you insufferable gaggle of shitwhistling fuckholes.
And to everyone else, goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
Rogers Communications, the country's second-biggest internet provider, is lowering the usage limits on some of its plans, just days after online video service Netflix announced it was expanding into Canada.
The company lowered the limits Wednesday on several of its service plans in Ontario, its main market. Users who signed up for the cable company's "Extreme" service after July 21 will be allowed 80 gigabytes of monthly usage, versus 90 GB for those who signed up before.
Customers who sign up for the "Lite" service will now get 15 GB, versus 25 GB before.
Rogers also simultaneously boosted the speed of the Extreme plan to 15 megabits per second from 10, while the Lite plan's speed was unchanged.
The company, which has 1.6 million internet subscribers — second only to Bell Canada — did not explain the changes and a spokesperson did not have a comment.
The lower usage limits came two days after Netflix announced its plans to enter Canada this fall. Netflix has become popular in the United States by providing unlimited movies and television shows for a monthly subscription fee of $8.99 U.S.
I should point out that this doesn't appear to impact our particular internet plan, at least not yet. I'm sure they'll find a way to hose us over, they always do. They have an entire department devoted to that actually, it's called Rogers Communications. So I'll be expecting to get the "at Rogers, we strive to bring you the best in entertainment and to do so we're raising your rates again and you're gonna bend over and take it like the retarded little piss ant unimportant consumer you are" letter in the mail any day now.
U.S. technology blogs have estimated that a typical two-hour movie from Netflix uses about 1.8 GB of data, while a high-definition version consumes about 3 GB. Users on Rogers's new Lite plan could therefore view about 10 hours a month of HD video a month if they didn't use their internet connection for anything else, while Extreme subscribers could view about 53 hours, or less than two hours a day.
Rogers Communications' highest usage plan is its Ultimate service, which allows for 175 GB for $99 a month. Earlier this year, the company raised its maximum overage fee — extra charges that are incurred when monthly usage is exceeded — to $50 from $25.
The article goes on to point this out, but as soon as I read the headline I knew that the timing of this announcement was no accident. Once Netflix comes to Canada, it and Rogers are in direct competition. Rogers has its own streaming video service called On Demand Online, and if people buy Netflix, current Rogers customers won't need to use it and people on other ISP's won't need to come to Rogers at all. so by making this move, it makes a Netflix subscription more costly since overages are almost inevitable, which Rogers hopes will drive people away and back into their loving arms. And either way Rogers is sitting pretty, because no matter who streams your video, you're going over your limit and getting dinged with the recently raised per gig charge.
Peckers.
So much for letting the article speak for itself, but this company infuriates me sometimes. It may in fact be the worst company I've ever dealt with in my life. Yeah, nobody else even comes close. From customer service reps who don't know anything about the products they're trying to sell me, to the troop of knuckle dragging goobers who install those products improperly resulting in my email fucking up and eventually our modem being disconnected without any notice because it somehow got reported to the network as stolen from Ottawa, to the myriad price increases even though no tangible value has been added to the service we receive, Rogers has it all. They're also the same nimrods who expect people topay $4.25 for a 30 second ringtone.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is eat a bowl of flaming dicks, you insufferable gaggle of shitwhistling fuckholes.
And to everyone else, goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
Joke's Over
Raquel McGrath sounds like a real winner, who is insuring that her son is headed for trouble.
The story goes that her son Steven Avalos put together a nasty gift bag for a local baseball club president full of obscene messages, KY jelly, and other things that he wasn't sure of, and left it on his car. But according to her, he did nothing wrong. he was only defending her. Defending her? Yes, because she thought the president was being unfair, and had taken some food home, and she didn't like where the money was going, so she'd said some things, and he was defending her.
Or maybe it was a gag gift and a senior prank. Or maybe her son was pissed at the whole situation. She keeps changing her story, and sounds like a parent who is way, way, way too involved in her kid's success in sports, and if he doesn't succeed, she screams blue murder, and maybe puts him up to leaving a bag of who knows what on the club president's vehicle.
Perhaps, when she called it a gag gift, she was being the most truthful. It's a gift that is sure to make the recipient gag.
The story goes that her son Steven Avalos put together a nasty gift bag for a local baseball club president full of obscene messages, KY jelly, and other things that he wasn't sure of, and left it on his car. But according to her, he did nothing wrong. he was only defending her. Defending her? Yes, because she thought the president was being unfair, and had taken some food home, and she didn't like where the money was going, so she'd said some things, and he was defending her.
Or maybe it was a gag gift and a senior prank. Or maybe her son was pissed at the whole situation. She keeps changing her story, and sounds like a parent who is way, way, way too involved in her kid's success in sports, and if he doesn't succeed, she screams blue murder, and maybe puts him up to leaving a bag of who knows what on the club president's vehicle.
Perhaps, when she called it a gag gift, she was being the most truthful. It's a gift that is sure to make the recipient gag.
Behind Every Fruity Vodka, There's A Fruity Man?
I really wish I had the shooter's name for this story, because everyone needs to know that if they find themselves at a party with this fellow, they shouldn't, under any circumstances, make fun of his sexuality. If they do, he will turn into a gun-wielding maniac.
This guy came to a party uninvited, which didn't set things off on a good foot from the beginning. Then, people were making fun of him for bringing a bottle of sparkling vodka called Nuvo, saying it looked like a lipstick cap. He would not stand for this, not one little bit, so left the party, and came back with a pistol, which he started firing. He's sent one dude to hospital after shooting him in the lower abdomen.
And this happened on Gunsmoke Drive. I'm sure there was some serious gunsmoke after that.
I hope they catch the guy who did this. I bet jail will be an even bigger punishment for him than the ordinary guy. On top of all that lack of freedom stuff, he'll be constantly afraid that his cell-mate might be after his ass, and that'll be too much!
This guy came to a party uninvited, which didn't set things off on a good foot from the beginning. Then, people were making fun of him for bringing a bottle of sparkling vodka called Nuvo, saying it looked like a lipstick cap. He would not stand for this, not one little bit, so left the party, and came back with a pistol, which he started firing. He's sent one dude to hospital after shooting him in the lower abdomen.
And this happened on Gunsmoke Drive. I'm sure there was some serious gunsmoke after that.
I hope they catch the guy who did this. I bet jail will be an even bigger punishment for him than the ordinary guy. On top of all that lack of freedom stuff, he'll be constantly afraid that his cell-mate might be after his ass, and that'll be too much!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Shake Off The Blinders, Look At Your City
So, Niagara has launched a tourism ad campaign called "Shake Off the City" encouraging Torontonians to come to Niagara to get away from the hustle and bustle that is Toronto, and this has caused a few Torontonians to cry like babies. They say it unfairly portrays Toronto as an urban jungle.
Um, have they forgotten where they live? It *is* pretty insane. And the campaign sounds like every campaign I've ever heard encouraging people to get away from a busy city. Are they mad that Toronto was named? Is that what got their shorts in a twist?
You know, if they had just kept quiet, the commercials probably would have run and that would have been the end of it. Now, they will be memorable. Way to go.
Um, have they forgotten where they live? It *is* pretty insane. And the campaign sounds like every campaign I've ever heard encouraging people to get away from a busy city. Are they mad that Toronto was named? Is that what got their shorts in a twist?
You know, if they had just kept quiet, the commercials probably would have run and that would have been the end of it. Now, they will be memorable. Way to go.
They Got The Baby Back!
This is the greatest news I've gotten all day. the blind couple got their baby back! Jump, jump, jump!
Yes! I have no other words. Just, yes!
Infant is returned to blind couple after state places her in protective custody
By LEE HILL KAVANAUGH The Kansas City Star |
Fifty-seven days after she was born, Mikaela Sinnett was home for the first time Tuesday with her parents, Erika Johnson and Blake Sinnett of Independence. State officials had worried they were unable to care for her.
A folding cane used by Blake Sinnett rested in the baby carrier used to carry home his daughter.
On Tuesday, Blake Sinnett, guided by his mother, Jenne Sinnett, carried his 2-month-old daughter, Mikaela Sinnett. Behind them was Mikaela’s mother, Erika Johnson.
Erika Johnson will never be able to see her baby, Mikaela.
But for 57 days she couldn’t keep her newborn close, smell her baby’s breath, feel her downy hair. The state took away her 2-day-old infant into protective custody — because Johnson and Mikaela’s father are both blind. No allegations of abuse, just a fear that the new parents would be unable to care for the child.
On Tuesday, Johnson still couldn’t stop crying, although Mikaela was back in her arms.
“We never got the chance to be parents,” she said. “We had to prove that we could.”
Tuesday, she and Blake Sinnett knew their baby was finally coming home to their Independence apartment, but an adjudication hearing was scheduled for the afternoon on whether the state would stay involved in the rearing of the baby. Then from a morning phone call to their attorney, they learned that the state was dismissing their case.
“Every minute that has passed that this family wasn’t together is a tragedy. A legal tragedy and a moral one, too,” said Amy Coopman, their attorney. “How do you get 57 days back?”
Arleasha Mays, a spokeswoman for the Missouri Department of Social Services, said privacy laws prohibited her from speaking about specific cases. But she added, “The only time we recommend a child be removed is if it’s in imminent danger.”
Johnson said she knew the system eventually would realize its horrible mistake, but she often was consumed with sadness. Sinnett tried his best to keep Johnson hopeful.
For almost two months she and Sinnett could visit their baby only two or three times a week, for just an hour at a time, with a foster parent monitoring. “I’m a forgiving person,” Johnson said, but she’s resentful that people assumed she was incapable. “Disability does not equal inability,” she said.
Representatives of the sightless community agreed that people were well-meaning but blinded by ignorance.
Mikaela was born May 21 at Centerpoint Medical Center of Independence. The doctors let Sinnett “see” her birth by feeling the crowning of her head.
For Johnson, hearing Mikaela’s whimpers was a thrill. The little human inside her all these months, the one who hiccupped and burped, who kicked and moved, especially at night, was now a real person whom she loved more than anything else she’d ever imagined.
In her overnight bag was Mikaela’s special homecoming outfit, a green romper from Johnson’s mother, with matching bottoms and a baby bow.
Questions arose within hours of Mikaela’s birth, after Johnson’s clumsy first attempts at breast-feeding — something many new mothers experience.
A lactation nurse noticed that Mikaela’s nostrils were covered by Johnson’s breast. Johnson felt that something was wrong and switched her baby to her other side, but not before Mikaela turned blue.
That’s when the concerned nurse wrote on a chart: “The child is without proper custody, support or care due to both of parents being blind and they do not have specialized training to assist them.”
Her words set into motion the state mechanisms intended to protect children from physical or sexual abuse, unsanitary conditions, neglect or absence of basic needs being met.
Centerpoint said it could not comment because of patient privacy laws, but spokeswoman Gene Hallinan said, “We put the welfare of our patients as our top priority.”
A social worker from the state came by Johnson’s hospital room and asked her questions: How could she take her baby’s temperature? Johnson answered: with our talking thermometer. How will you take her to a doctor if she gets sick? Johnson’s reply: If it were an emergency, they’d call an ambulance. For a regular doctor’s appointment, they’d call a cab or ride a bus.
But it wasn’t enough for the social worker, who told Johnson she would need 24-hour care by a sighted person at their apartment.
Johnson said they couldn’t afford it, didn’t need it.
“I needed help as a new parent, but not as a blind parent,” Johnson said.
She recalled the social worker saying: “ ‘Look, because you guys are blind, I don’t feel like you can adequately take care of her.’ And she left.”
The day of Johnson’s discharge, another social worker delivered the news to the couple that Mikaela was not going home with them. The parents returned the next day to visit Mikaela before she left the hospital, but they were barred from holding her.
“All we could do was touch her arm or leg,” Johnson said.
The couple began making calls. Gary Wunder, president of the National Federation of the Blind of Missouri, had trouble believing it at first.
“I needed to verify their whole story,” he recalled. “We had to do due diligence. … I found the couple to be intelligent and responsible. “We knew this was an outrage that had taken place.”
He notified Kansas City chapter president Shelia Wright, who visited the 24-year-olds. Hearing about the empty crib, the baby clothes, Wright recalled, “I felt as helpless as I’ve ever felt in my life.
“I hurt so bad for them. This is unforgivable.”
They rallied other associations for the blind nationwide. More than 100 people at a national convention in Dallas volunteered to travel to Kansas City to protest and testify, both as blind parents and as the sighted children of blind parents. (Mikaela has normal sight.)
They also hired Coopman, who watched the young couple with their baby girl on Tuesday.
“I’m sorry,” she said, wiping tears. “But this should not have happened.”
Johnson kept a journal that Coopman is keeping closed for now. She indicates that legal action will be taken.
“Whether a couple is visually impaired or deaf or in a wheelchair, the state should not keep them from their children,” she said.
Now breast-feeding is a lost option. And the beautiful newborn clothes hanging in the closet went unworn, because their baby was growing bigger in the arms of someone else.
The couple said they had tried to prove themselves to the sighted community since their early years. Sinnett rode his bicycle on the street with the help of a safety gadget. Johnson graduated from high school with honors. But all the challenges they’ve endured over the years shrink compared to the responsibility of caring for 10 pounds of squirming baby girl.
Johnson cuddled Mikaela. Gave her a bottle. Patted her back until she burped. Mikaela gave a tiny smile.
In their 24 years, the couple said, they’ve both endured prejudice from others. They don’t want any other blind parent to suffer the same obstacle they did. Fifty-seven days are too precious to lose.
Yes! I have no other words. Just, yes!
Oh Sweet Jesus!
Crawford day to day with "testicular contusion"
Call me crazy, but limited movements don't sound all that bad when the alternative is a Testicular contusion.
I have nothing more to say. It's hard to type with clenched legs and eyes full of tears.
Rays four-time All-Star LF Carl Crawford is day to day after sustaining a "testicular contusion" during a scary moment in Tuesday's game when he was struck by a pickoff throw from Orioles starter Jake Arrieta.
"It caught me square, it couldn't have hit (me) in a better spot,'' said Crawford, who doesn't wear a protective cup because it limits his movements. "It just took the wind out of me.''
Call me crazy, but limited movements don't sound all that bad when the alternative is a Testicular contusion.
Former Ray Ty Wigginton was the Oriole on the receiving end of the throw, and this is how he recalled the first-inning play: "When he was throwing over, I just reached for the ball and I wasn’t sure what it hit. But I had a pretty good idea when he didn’t move because I know one thing, Carl Crawford is one of the toughest guys I’ve ever played with. He’s a true gamer and if that guy don’t bounce up, it’s not good. I just said, ‘Hang in there, C.’ ''
I have nothing more to say. It's hard to type with clenched legs and eyes full of tears.
Don't Squeeze The Trigger
For reasons known only to him and possibly her, Lonnie Irvin Pinnix really wanted his wife Darlene to leave their home and leave it now! So when she didn't comply with his wishes fast enough, he did what any rational and logical one of us would do in such a situation,load the old shotgun up with toilet paper and shoot her in the back.
I suppose he got his wish since she did leave, heading for the hospital where she was treated for powder burns she suffered as a result of the incident.
He, meanwhile, was charged with assault with a deadly weapon, given a court date of August 11th and placed in jail on $1000 bond, which I suppose means he ended up leaving too.
I Don't Dubai This One.
I got a rather creative spam yesterday. I chuckled at it, and thought it should go up. Here it is.
Attached is a PDF, but there's no way I'm opening it.
I thought it was great that he actually referenced Nigerian scams right in the message. I'm waiting for some people to say "But it's not one of those scam things!" Oh I think it is, he just wants you to think it isn't.
And I'm all for creative job-hunting, but what logical person would just send their resume out at random? That isn't creative, that's dumb.
But I've noticed this trend lately, spammers apologizing for spamming. It cracks me up.
Hi,
Firstly I would like to apologize for the bulk mail. I'm sure you already get enough of these. No I'm not trying to get millions of dollars out of Nigeria.
I am looking for your help though. It seems that you have to be more and more creative with your job searches these days, and yes I am looking for a new job. The company I work for has gone through a merger and I'm not going to be here for much longer.
So in short, please find attached a copy of my CV if this is of any interest to you or if you know anyone looking, please consider it.
Thanks in advance for your help and sorry for one more bit of e-mail.
Grant Baxter
IT Manager
The Palladium Theater
Dubai
Attached is a PDF, but there's no way I'm opening it.
I thought it was great that he actually referenced Nigerian scams right in the message. I'm waiting for some people to say "But it's not one of those scam things!" Oh I think it is, he just wants you to think it isn't.
And I'm all for creative job-hunting, but what logical person would just send their resume out at random? That isn't creative, that's dumb.
But I've noticed this trend lately, spammers apologizing for spamming. It cracks me up.
Stunning Police Work
I think officers in Avon and Somerset need a little retraining on how to use a stun gun if it went off accidentally, and a little retraining on not being total assholes if they did it on purpose. Either way, somebody needs a brush-up.
The story goes that Peter Cox was driving to a friend's house to do some yardwork, and noticed a police car driving behind him. It didn't have flashing lights on, so he just kept going.
When he arrived, the police still wouldn't tell him why they were there. Then he started grabbing supplies, and didn't notice that an officer had his stun gun pointed at him. But witnesses said he had it pointed at him for 20 seconds before lowering it some, and then it went off, hitting Cox in the groin. In fact, one of the probes only missed the part of him for which there is a slang term very similar to his name by about 3 inches.
It was then that the police said why they were there. They said that his car showed up as having no insurance, but he checked with his insurer, and his insurance was good.
The cops say it was an accident, and they pointed at him because he was aggressive, but witnesses don't seem to agree. In fact, they say the police flat refused to take statements because they said it was an accident. Well, if it was an accident, wouldn't they want statements there to back that up?
All I know is I feel sorry for the dude. Ow ow ow ow ow. He's suing them. If things went down the way he says they did, he should.
The story goes that Peter Cox was driving to a friend's house to do some yardwork, and noticed a police car driving behind him. It didn't have flashing lights on, so he just kept going.
When he arrived, the police still wouldn't tell him why they were there. Then he started grabbing supplies, and didn't notice that an officer had his stun gun pointed at him. But witnesses said he had it pointed at him for 20 seconds before lowering it some, and then it went off, hitting Cox in the groin. In fact, one of the probes only missed the part of him for which there is a slang term very similar to his name by about 3 inches.
It was then that the police said why they were there. They said that his car showed up as having no insurance, but he checked with his insurer, and his insurance was good.
The cops say it was an accident, and they pointed at him because he was aggressive, but witnesses don't seem to agree. In fact, they say the police flat refused to take statements because they said it was an accident. Well, if it was an accident, wouldn't they want statements there to back that up?
All I know is I feel sorry for the dude. Ow ow ow ow ow. He's suing them. If things went down the way he says they did, he should.
Un-Bee-Lievable
Nearly two years ago, Steve found an article that was sure to send me into spasms of eeeeeeek! It was about beekeepers making a bee beard. Because he just loves watching me squirm, he found a more detailed account of how to make a bee beard, and uh, um, mission accomplished!
There are certain details in here that especially get me all freaked out, details like
Um, when I look at that, that's a big part of the Q and A that freaked me out. Beekeepers, I have an infinite respect for you. I don't think I could even watch someone put a bee beard on, let alone wear one myself.
There are certain details in here that especially get me all freaked out, details like
Q: How did you practise?A few is 15000 bees? A few? Hmm. When I think a few, I think 5 or 10. Not 15000.
A: We did one trial run with a few bees that I knew were very nice and gentle. There were probably 15,000 to 20,000 bees.
Q: Do they forage on your face?I can just imagine the bzz bzz bzzing along with sucking, and it's too much. Goose bumps are travelling up and down my back.
A: They start to look for moisture for sure, they get really hot. They'll go to my lips and you can feel the little tongues getting moisture. They can also suck up the sweat.
Q: What does it feel like in general?Ick. This is why I am not a beekeeper.
A: It's kind of like monkeys in a barrel. The original bee holds onto the face and they hold on to each other. It's kind of little claws, holding on to the skin. If I try to move my face, they hold on with all their might, it feels like a sunburn. The skin is tight.
Q: How do you take the beard off?I'd be jumping around if you tried to put them *on* my face.
A: Basically you lean over top of the colony box that they live in, and jump. The jerking motion makes them all let go.
Q: Is there any other way to get 37,000 bees off your face?And when you're dealing with 37000 bees, do what they like! Respect the bees, man!
A: There are times when you can sweep bees. I don't think I would want to sweep them off, they don't like that motion.
Um, when I look at that, that's a big part of the Q and A that freaked me out. Beekeepers, I have an infinite respect for you. I don't think I could even watch someone put a bee beard on, let alone wear one myself.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Fair Is Fair, But Fire Is Fire
I like drinking games as much as the next guy, but if losing one meansI'm getting set on fire,sorry, but I ain't playin'!
Can't say I have much sympathy for this guy, however. If you're this dumb you pretty much deserve whatever happens to you at the hands of other dumb people.
Just...wow.
Sheriff's deputies learned that the victim and friends were drinking Monday and had made a bet that whoever drank the least would be set on fire, according to a news release.
The victim told investigators that since he drank only six beers, the least amount, he agreed to let his friends set him on fire.
The victim, who has a prosthetic left leg made of plastic, said his friends set his leg on fire, which spread to his buttocks and lower back area, causing severe burns.
Not being able to stand the pain, the victim disrobed. His friends then decided to take him to the hospital but became "nervous and dropped the victim off" on U.S. 70, the release said.
Can't say I have much sympathy for this guy, however. If you're this dumb you pretty much deserve whatever happens to you at the hands of other dumb people.
When questioned by deputies if he had asked his friends to stop at any point in time while setting him on fire, he stated "no, he lost the bet" and therefore did not attempt to stop them.
Just...wow.
Somebody's Trying To Take These Guys To The Other Side
Not that it's ever gonna happen, but if for some reason I'm asked to join Aerosmith, I'm saying no. It's just too damn dangerous for me. Not so much because of the drugs and booze and pills and what have you, I'm more concerned about the cars and high stages and miscellaneous surgeries and now theold women rear-ending me while I'm riding my motorcycle.
Word is that the accident won't at all mess with the group's current tour, but all you have to do is punch the word Aerosmith into the search at the top of this page and start reading to see what that claim is worth. That said, something tells me that this time they mean it since I don't have tickets.
Aerosmith's Joe Perry was hospitalized after a minor motorcycle accident yesterday. According to the Patriot Ledger, the guitarist was driving his Ducati Monster near his Duxbury, Massachusetts home when he was rear-ended by a 62-year-old woman driving a Chevy Malibu on Route 44. Perry was not found to blame in the accident, and the other driver, Linda O'Brien, was charged with following too closely.
Perry was admitted to Morton Hospital and Medical Center for treatment, but was quickly discharged with only minor injuries. The band's publicist, Liz Rosenberg, told the Boston Globe, "Joe is home and he's fine. All's well and we're all grateful."
Word is that the accident won't at all mess with the group's current tour, but all you have to do is punch the word Aerosmith into the search at the top of this page and start reading to see what that claim is worth. That said, something tells me that this time they mean it since I don't have tickets.
Buddy's Blues
If you liked the video I posted last year ofTallan Latz,chances are you'll probably enjoyQuinn Sullivan.
He's 10 and he's playing this song about Buddy Guy onstage during a Buddy Guy concert. Yeah, I give up too.
He's 10 and he's playing this song about Buddy Guy onstage during a Buddy Guy concert. Yeah, I give up too.
You Won't Normally Catch Me Agreeing With A Record Company, But...
Kings Of Leon's Label Doesn't Want Them To Play New Songs On Tour
While you're at it, any way you could convince them not to play the old ones either?
While you're at it, any way you could convince them not to play the old ones either?
Monday, July 19, 2010
United Breaks Careers
Back a while ago, we talked about Dave Caroll's United Breaks Guitars song, and song 2. Somehow we missed song 3 coming out. It came out in March of this year. Well, better late than never, here's song 3. It's a good song, but it isn't crawling into my head like the other two. Maybe it will. I'll give it time.
Observations From The Train
We took a train yesterday to meet some of Steve's family at a spot half-way between us and them. We got to the station really early, partly because we took the bus there and buses only run every half-hour, and partly because the train got delayed. Here were some of the things we saw or noticed.
Ok, how come two blind folks cannot find the ring for service bell? Seriously. We walked into the station, and there was nobody at the counter. We stood there for a minute, and I was really close to calling Via Rail and asking them to put me through to the Guelph train station because I didn't know how else I would get the attention of the person behind the counter. We thought there *must* be a bell, so we both looked for it. Neither of us could find the bloody bell!
Eventually, the person would notice us and come help us, but if we could find the damn bell, it would make things a lot easier and a lot more dignified than a couple of blinks standing there like dorks, molesting a counter in search of some way of signalling the station folks.
What was really funny was as soon as we either gave up or got the help we needed and went back to our seats, someone would get up, walk over, and ring the damn bell. Why couldn't someone come along when *we* were looking for the bell? We eventually joked that the bell was taunting us.
Guess who was working the station yesterday? The same lady who helped the shoe thief and I get to Anton's play. It was nice to see her again under better circumstances.
Here's a new thing somebody said to me because of Trixie. There appeared to be a bum sitting in the train station. The guy looked over at us and seriously started going, "Hey dog! Hey dog! Hey dog! Hey dog!" I eventually started to wonder if he was saying "Hey, doll!" So, as much as I didn't want to respond to "doll", I didn't want him to keep yelling, so I said, "pardon," at which point he seriously started going, "Will he eat me? Will he eat me? Will he eat me?" Ok, he was talking about the dog. Alrighty then.
There is one very patient dad in Guelph, that's for sure, but I thought he was going to lose it at the end. He and 3 small kids were at the train station, and appeared to be waiting for his wife. The kids were having a grand old time, running around the station, smacking coke machines and pay phones and being silly little kids. Because of the number of times he had to tell them to stop, I knew all their names. But he was amazingly calm. I was starting to get worried, though, when he went over to grab one of his kids, and took him back to the seats. When the words, "Seriously, sit!" come out of his mouth, you know the patience is running thin.
I love it when I hear something out of context. I think the funniest conversation snippets I heard were:
Dad: Don't bounce on her when she's down there.
Kid: Why?
Dad: Because that'll hurt, she's on concrete.
then there was "If you guys don't settle down, we're going to go back outside. Or "Don't hit the machine."
The train came in with mommy on it. I think daddy was very happy to see her.
We finally got on the train, and met a very nice lady working there who helped us get to our seats. She made sure we didn't get left behind, which was awesome, and she wanted to take care of us...but she did one hilarious thing. Every single time she passed us, she would smack Steve on the shoulder before talking to us. I guess she wanted to make sure we knew she was talking to us, but couldn't she just ask us our names? She also was soooo scared that we were going to fall off the train when getting off. Relax. Breathe, breathe, breathe. It's ok. We'll be fine. Ah, but she was a sweet lady. She meant well. I'd prefer that to being left behind and having to yell for help any day.
And that's about it. It was a pretty smooth trip.
Ok, how come two blind folks cannot find the ring for service bell? Seriously. We walked into the station, and there was nobody at the counter. We stood there for a minute, and I was really close to calling Via Rail and asking them to put me through to the Guelph train station because I didn't know how else I would get the attention of the person behind the counter. We thought there *must* be a bell, so we both looked for it. Neither of us could find the bloody bell!
Eventually, the person would notice us and come help us, but if we could find the damn bell, it would make things a lot easier and a lot more dignified than a couple of blinks standing there like dorks, molesting a counter in search of some way of signalling the station folks.
What was really funny was as soon as we either gave up or got the help we needed and went back to our seats, someone would get up, walk over, and ring the damn bell. Why couldn't someone come along when *we* were looking for the bell? We eventually joked that the bell was taunting us.
Guess who was working the station yesterday? The same lady who helped the shoe thief and I get to Anton's play. It was nice to see her again under better circumstances.
Here's a new thing somebody said to me because of Trixie. There appeared to be a bum sitting in the train station. The guy looked over at us and seriously started going, "Hey dog! Hey dog! Hey dog! Hey dog!" I eventually started to wonder if he was saying "Hey, doll!" So, as much as I didn't want to respond to "doll", I didn't want him to keep yelling, so I said, "pardon," at which point he seriously started going, "Will he eat me? Will he eat me? Will he eat me?" Ok, he was talking about the dog. Alrighty then.
There is one very patient dad in Guelph, that's for sure, but I thought he was going to lose it at the end. He and 3 small kids were at the train station, and appeared to be waiting for his wife. The kids were having a grand old time, running around the station, smacking coke machines and pay phones and being silly little kids. Because of the number of times he had to tell them to stop, I knew all their names. But he was amazingly calm. I was starting to get worried, though, when he went over to grab one of his kids, and took him back to the seats. When the words, "Seriously, sit!" come out of his mouth, you know the patience is running thin.
I love it when I hear something out of context. I think the funniest conversation snippets I heard were:
Dad: Don't bounce on her when she's down there.
Kid: Why?
Dad: Because that'll hurt, she's on concrete.
then there was "If you guys don't settle down, we're going to go back outside. Or "Don't hit the machine."
The train came in with mommy on it. I think daddy was very happy to see her.
We finally got on the train, and met a very nice lady working there who helped us get to our seats. She made sure we didn't get left behind, which was awesome, and she wanted to take care of us...but she did one hilarious thing. Every single time she passed us, she would smack Steve on the shoulder before talking to us. I guess she wanted to make sure we knew she was talking to us, but couldn't she just ask us our names? She also was soooo scared that we were going to fall off the train when getting off. Relax. Breathe, breathe, breathe. It's ok. We'll be fine. Ah, but she was a sweet lady. She meant well. I'd prefer that to being left behind and having to yell for help any day.
And that's about it. It was a pretty smooth trip.
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