Long Weekend Audio: Weighty Issues

The audio machine keeps on rollin'.

This morning we got to do something I've been meaning to do for a while. I got to show you our talking scale...which sounds like my mom! It's kinda creepy hearing a voice that sounds like your mom telling you your weight.

It's a quick one, only 10 minutes, but here it is.

Long Weekend Audio: I Like Traffic Lights...

Thank Monty Python for the title.

Well! Aren't we the audio crankin' machines? We decided this one would have a different twist on it. We decided to take you, the loyal vomiteers, on a walk with us. We'd never done this before...and it kinda showed in the audio quality. Most of it is pretty listenable, but there are some parts where...ow ow ow ow ow! Stream+need to raise voice over traffic=clip clip clip clip! So...do not listen on headphones, I don't think so. We'll do better next time...namely, place Stream on left shoulder. By the way, Shane? How did you carry your stream on your routecasts? I need pointers. I tested it before leaving and it sounded fine. I forgot the part where I need to raise my voice to be heard over the traffic din.

We decided to demo an audible pedestrian signal, or the blind guy chirp chirp lights as lots of people know them. We thought we'd clear up some confusion, as well as show the differences between two types of chirp chirp lights. We also thought we'd drop into Tim Hortons just because it's nearby, and pick up a couple things at the store on the way home. We turned the recording off when we were in the store just because really? do you want to hear "I'll have a smoothie. Yes debit. chinga linga loo, thank you!"? That's boring.

We split this bad boy into two smaller parts. There's part 1, the trip to Timmie's, description of the lights and how blind people cross streets, talk about the new Tim Hortons bigger drink sizes, and other babble. You don't hear it, but Trix got called a cute dog by some random passer by. As we arrive at Tim Hortons, Steve asks again what constitutes a yogourtless smoothie? It has been written, but we felt like talking about it. That bit is about 23 minutes long.

In part 2, which lasts about 25 minutes, on our way home, we talked about how poor Steve got hit with a giant allergy attack, how we didn't get to ask what a yogourtless smoothie would look like, and how Steve thinks ice caps are disgusting. I happen to like them, but he thinks they're ick. This made us decide we would do our questions not as one cast, but as the mood struck us to talk...and it was time to talk about the differents between Canadian and American iced tea. And, since we were answering that question, we went in to the whole milk in a bag thing.

Because you can find everything on the internet, here's a history lesson on the milk bag, and a video explaining how to drink milk from a bag. The video isn't too blindy friendly, but it basically echos the description that we gave in the cast. I just thought it was funny that someone made a video about this.

I have also learned something. This milk in a bag thing only starts in Ontario and moves east. Westerners get mad if you accuse them of drinking milk in a bag. In describing the different sizes of milk cartons, I start singing Good Luck to the Barleymow. Now you can enjoy a much better version.

As we walk down the street yammering about milk bags, I have a question for folks who live in the UK that came up. I was talking to Torie on Twitter, and somehow crossing streets came up, and she said that over there, they have to wait for an all quiet, cross at a zebra crossing, hit a beep beep light, or wait for assistance. The idea of walking with the parallel traffic is not safe. Is this true across all of Ireland? Can other blind folks explain this? Frankly, the idea of not being able to go with the surge is about as weird to me as Americans find buying milk in a bag.

And we arrived home with our stuff, Trix drank furiously, and we signed off.

So, I hope you can enjoy this clippy cast. I apologize again for that. Hopefully we can learn and do better.

If You Ever Plan On Flying Again, You May Want To Skip This One

Um...uh...er...Wholly freakin crap! What text message could possibly be more important than safely landing a 220 seat airbus, Mr. Pilot?

The problems aboard JQ57 began when the co-pilot, the first officer, switched off the autopilot on the 220-seat Airbus A320 to make preparations to land.

Somewhere between 2500 feet and 2000 feet, the captain's mobile phone started beeping with incoming text messages, and the captain twice did not respond to the co-pilot's requests.

The co-pilot looked over and saw the captain "preoccupied with his mobile phone", investigators said. The captain told investigators he was trying to unlock the phone to turn it off, after having forgotten to do so before take-off.

At 1000 feet, the co-pilot scanned the instruments and felt "something was not quite right" but could not spot what it was.

At this stage the captain still did not realise the landing gear had not been lowered, and neither pilot went through their landing checklist.

At 720 feet, a cockpit alert flashed and sounded to warn that the wheels still hadn't been lowered.

At 650 feet, the captain moved the undercarriage lever "instinctively" but then a "too low" ground-warning alarm sounded as the plane sunk through 500 feet, indicating the landing gear was not fully extended and locked.

The co-pilot was confused by the captain's action in lowering the wheels, as he was getting ready to do quite the opposite  to abort the landing and re-ascend to the skies, investigators said.

Neither spoke to each other about their intentions.

At 392 feet, the crew aborted the landing and powered up the thrust.

At this time the pilots had lost track of their altitude, thinking they were much higher, at about 800 feet.

A further piloting error occurred, with the wrong flap setting during the ascent.

When the mistakes were recreated in a simulator, investigators determined there were two minutes of descent, from 2800 feet to 1000 feet, where the pilots failed to take any necessary actions, including putting the wheels down.

Thankfully things turned out ok and nobody was killed. But really, who does that? And why am I not seeing anything about a firing in here?

Get some help, man. You clearly have a text addiction problem.

Guitar Pee

A lot of the world's most famous and best loved music was made by drunk people, but I'm not sure the creations that will result from Guitar Pee will quite stack up to the timeless music of generations.

Guitar Pee is exactly what you think it sounds like. It's an interactive urinal that allows you to aim your stream at pretend guitar strings and make music...or at least something that could be technically defined as such. And to add to the fun, your masterworks will be automatically uploaded to the Guitar Pee website for all to hear. I'd say to enjoy, but let's not get carried away here.

So far there's no word on a girl version, but girls don't seem to enjoy pissing on stuff as much as we do so maybe there wouldn't be a market for it.

Some Handy Plugins To Increase The Functionality Of NVDA

If you're a screenreader user running Windows and you don't know what NVDA is, you really should learn all about it. This goes double if you're stuck running an older version of JAWS, need to do something that requires technology newer than what you have and you don't want to pay a gazillion freakin dollars for the upgrade right now, thank you very much. NVDA is completely free (they'll happily take your donations if you've got a few dollars to spend) and considering the resources they have to work with compared to the bigger players, very powerful. It's come to my rescue in several pinches and is worth your time to get to know.

And now to make it even better, people have started writing plugins to add even more functionality to it. I'm sure there are more floating around than the ones listed here, but this is the first time I've seen any sort of compilation.

I haven't tried any of these for myself yet, but some of them definitely look rather interesting. OCR, for example. There could be a whole lot of potential there.

If you've tried any of them out I'd love to hear your thoughts, and if you know of any other good plugin lists feel free to pass them along as well.

What's The SMS Shorthand For Take A Long Walk Off A Short Pier?

Considering that my afternoon yesterday was highlighted by a distracted guy roaring out of a bank, ploughing into me, kicking me in the bad ankle and bending the hell out of my white cane as he fell on his face, it's kind of funny that the first thing I see when I start looking for post ideas again is the story of Bonnie Miller.

Miller, as so many do these days, decided it was just fine to walk around while texting. Unfortunately for her, her chosen path was the South Pier in St. Joseph, Michigan and her destination, whether she liked it or not, wound up being the lake at the end of it.

Police arrived on the scene about 9:30 PM Monday and pulled the 45-year-old woman to safety. Another woman had already jumped in to help, but it's not noted if she needed to be rescued as well.

I'm hoping we get video of this like we did when Cathy A. Cruz Marrero fell into the mall fountain and then tried to sue everybody a year or so back.

Are You Sure You Need Those Cookies, Fatty?

This is a little weird and creepy in a the machines are taking over sort of way, but it also looks kind of neat.

Microsoft, Whole Foods and a company called Chaotic Moon are teaming up to build a robot shopping cart. It follows you around the store, helps you keep track of the items on your list including telling you if you grabbed the wrong one, and can even ring you up and charge you without bothering with the checkout line.

Here's a video of it in action.



This has me thinking. I wonder if there's a way to modify this thing to help blind people shop more independently? I love that people at most stores are willing to help and are largely good at it, but it would be cool to be able to do it myself without bothering them. But I suppose no matter what sorts of bells and whistles you add, you pretty much can't work around one major problem. Knowing that item X is in aisle 6 is great, but how do I get there? The cart follows me, but in order to know where I am, I need to be following it. Easy enough to change you say, but when I get there, how do I know in a reasonable amount of time that I've grabbed the right item? There's no way in hell I'm scanning every item on every shelf just to save a few cents here or there or to make sure I don't buy the crappy brand of soup by accident.

Still a cool idea for the sighted set, just wish the rest of us could take advantage of it. For now I guess I'll file it under stuff that talks for the sake of taunting us with potential usefulness.

I May Need An Excuse To Buy A New TV Soon

One of the biggest problems with using digital cable or satellite TV when you're blind is that you can't use any of the really cool features. Yeah you've got a gazillion stations, but if you can't use the guide to figure out what's on them or even where they are, it adds a degree of difficulty to things that most folks don't have. We can't use on demand either, which in a way is good because it saves us money, but also sucks because it's a neat technology that I'd like to be able to take advantage of.

But slowly, some of this might be starting to change.

Panasonic has just announced that they'll be rolling out a line of televisions that come with text to speech capabilities.

According to Panasonic's Nigel Prankard, users will be able to obtain channel information, browse the user guide, and use the built-in electronic program guide among other features. Prankard explained that the company felt it was the right time to include accessibility features and that Panasonic planned to include it in all models, stating that a user shouldn't be limited in the choice of a television by which ones included accessibility features.

For now it seems to be something the company is doing in the UK market, but hopefully the rest of us will have it soon.

This is what you call a mighty fine start. Now let's hope that other manufacturers follow suit and that before too long, the need to search out usable TV listings on a site by site basis will be no more.

A Post With A Bunch Of Stuff In It Just To Show You We're Alive

So...this place sure has been hopping lately, eh? Yeah...about that. I'm sorry. Really, I am. But to be honest, it can't be helped, and I can't say when it's going to get better.

I don't want to get into a whole lot of specifics, so I'll leave it at this: There are a few things going on around here that are making dick jokes, bad music, random videos and stories about retarded people doing even more retardeder things seem much less important than usual. To those of you who know what's been happening, thanks for the support. To the rest of you, hang in there. We're not trying to be lazy asses, That's just how it's had to be for a while.

By the way, remind me never to have a sleep-related brain snap around the same time as a very stressful ongoing event. It doesn't end well, I'm finding.

Now...what can I tell you that you might not already know?

If you're James McGhee, you don't seem to know that wearing a shirt with best dad written on it in your sex offender registry photo isn't the best idea you've ever come up with, especially since you needed that photo because of a little thing called sexual exploitation of a minor.

If you're Misty Lawson, you may not know how much trouble punching your 10-year-old son a few times during a visit with an anger management counselor will get you in, even if the kid might be a little shit.

If you're Vince Russo, you most definitely do not know how cocksuckingly horrible you are at your job about 98% of the time. You may, however, be aware of the celebrations being thrown by wrestling fans upon hearing the news that you've finally been relieved of it. If anything was going to make me feel happy enough to write again at least for a moment, it's this.

"TNA and Vince Russo have mutually parted ways as of this week. The separation is amicable and professional. We are glad for the opportunity to have worked together and wish each other nothing but good luck and success in the future."

Here's to success meaning that he opens up another video store and stays away from the wrestling business he's helped ruin for good. Good riddance to whatever it is that books worse than bad rubbish.

If you're WWE, you have no idea how sad I am and how much I kind of hate you guys right now for taking the Funkasaurus away from me. He was different and he was fun, both things that your product mostly hasn't been in years. Oh well, at least we'll always have the memories.



Somebody call my mama!

If you're the Earl Witty responsible for running the RIDE program, you could, pending the results of the current investigation, soon learn that showing up to work while on the sauce might sound fun on paper, but really isn't all it's cracked up to be. Not very witty of you if I may say so, officer.

And finally, if you're lots of people, you might not know that the 6Dot Braille Labeler that Carin made mention of a while ago is out of the development stage and ready to be ordered! On the list of blind folk gadgets I'd like to own, this one ranks pretty high. I'm saying this sight unseen, by the way. Yes, I do hear you chuckling at that, sighted person. Carry on.

And for now, I think I'm going to make that everything. You all should be well and learned up now, I hope. We'll try to check in soon, whenever that is.

Please Continue To Let Somebody Do The Holding For You

The reasons for me to finally cave and invest in a phone much smarter than my current one have been piling up for a while now, and here's another one.

Calling customer service usually involves a kink in my shoulder, bad jazz flute music, and lots of waiting. I've decided that I've got better things to do, and thankfully, so has Fast Customer. This brilliant app (available for iOS and Android), lets you choose from a list of over 3,000 customer service numbers. Find the company you want to speak to, and request a callback with one button— then put your phone down and get on with your day... Fast Customer calls you back when there's a real live human on the line.

They admit in the video that it's not perfect, but do say that there's a feature for requesting new companies you'd like to see added. Perfect or not, If I had a phone that could handle it I'd try this in a heartbeat. It would be pretty hard to be worse than sitting there for an hour listening to bad music that gets cut off every 30 seconds by ads and instructions to keep waiting.

The Answer May Be Blowing In The Wind, But It's Not A Pen

An exchange happened a while ago between myself and a tech support chicky for Samsung that I still snicker about when I think about it.

I mentioned my friend and his phone saga in another long and winding post. Anyway, as part of his phone saga, we were trying to make it so it made beep noises when you pushed buttons, and those regular touch tone noises you expect when you're dialing. We called Wind tech support, but really they had no idea. They did end the call in a rather disturbing way. These were the tech support guy's exact words. "With Wind, the conversation never ends." Hi, dude? You're tech support. I don't want to have an unending call with tech support. I would like my problem fixed, thankyaverymuch.

Anyway, he realized my questions were beyond his scope, so gave me the number for Samsung tech support.

After talking to a girl for a while about the problems we were having, i.e. a blind person even operating this phone was next to impossible, she started telling me settings to change. Unfortunately for me, I couldn't find someone to help me, and the computer I could have used just crashed and was slow to reboot. So, she said she would write all this down and all I'd have to do was say a confirmation number when I had somebody available who could see to push the necessary buttons. I asked her how long the confirmation number was, because I had nothing to write it down with, and she said it was something like 12 digits long. I was wondering if she'd mind if we waited a minute to load up the computer and she said "Just grab a pen!" I tried to explain to her that this wouldn't work and she got frustrated with me. "Ma'am, just let me finish. If you let me finish, you will see that my plan will work," she said. I shook my head and let her finish. "Ma'am, just get a pen, and write down what I tell you. I'll tell you how to write the numbers and then you'll have it."

I took 3 deep breaths before I answered her.

I said, a. if I've never written anything but my name, how will I know if what I'm writing down is correct, and b. what good is it to me anyway? I can't read it." It took her a second and then she apologized profusely. "I thought you could see before," she said.

Um, nope. And let's follow this logic to its end. If I could see, why would you have to describe how to write each number? I would know how to write a 3, a 6, an 8, etc. Even if I could see, that doesn't solve problem b. I know I'd need someone around who could see to change the settings, so I guess she thought I could hand them the sheet and then off we'd go. But still, I can't see what I'm doing, so I have no idea whether I'm writing down the right things that this poor sighted person is supposed to read.

The point is if I tell you that grabbing a pen isn't going to work, it probably isn't. I kind of know what I can and can't do over here. It's kind of like saying to someone in a wheelchair, "Just climb those steps." or "I'll push you." If they're saying no, there's probably a good reason.

I just had to write that down, because it cracked me up how hard she was trying to get me to write with a pen. I'm sure she went home with a story to tell. Hopefully she will have learned something.

iNever Fired That Thing

Just in case someone out there is desperately searching for a last-minute Christmas gift, and office war implements would totally be the perfect gift, there are newer, crazier USB rocket launchers out there. This one, you can control from afar, using your iThing.

Can you imagine? You're not even at your desk, but your desk mate receives an assault of nerf rockets. He has no idea where they came from, but you so totally do. You're down the hall, setting up your attack with your iPad, and your rocket launcher at your desk dutifully comes through.

Gees, I hope nobody near my desk gets that idea. That would scare the bejeebers out of me.

Sploosh Splosh Swimmin' In A Thought Pool

It's random thought splatter time. Put on your rubber boots, this thought puddle's a doozer.

Like every year, I have to get my silly Christmas shopping talk in there. When December started, I was flipping out, I'd hardly bought anything, and it was...what was Steve's word? De-fucking-cember? I can't find it, but ya know. Anyway, in one whirlwind trip around the mall, thanks to Steve's mom, I had nearly everything bought. I'm on the hunt for a couple things, but for the most part, I'm all set.

But one crappy side-effect of that is I noticed just how much money I was spending. It was so bad that my brain was envisioning trails of money being left in my wake. But really I'm not that nuts. It just feels that way because I don't usually luck out that huge/do it all at once.

Maybe the reason I was done so fast is I bought a lot of gift cards this year. But I tried to pick ones from stores that I thought the recipients would like. But one particularly hard gift card to get was the Red Lobster one. I'm pretty sure the person who I bought it for doesn't read here, but if they do, well, there goes the element of surprise.

I went to Red Lobster's website, and got all excited. They had gift cards! Then I was stopped dead in my tracks by the fact that the "state/province" box only had states in it. Grrr!

So, I called the closest restaurant, which was in Kitchener, and I was told that the site didn't sell them to Canada, you had to come to the restaurant. Um, not gonna happen.

Luckily for me, I have smart friends on Twitter *coughcough* @MELISSAandRUBY *coughcough*. She linked me to the FAQ that told me where I could call and order a card...which I did. I'm still waiting for it to arrive, but it's been ordered.

We're starting our new traddition of spending Christmas together. This year, we're off to Steve's family. It should be an interesting experience going to 4 or something Christmas thingamabobs so close together. But it'll be so nice to spend Christmas together.

Remember back when I talked about the person I picked to donate to his Movember campaign? Well, who knew I'd end up getting thanked for it? He made a cheesecake, brought it in and said everybody who donated to him would be guaranteed a piece. How awesome is that? Damn it was a good cheesecake, and I needed it that morning since I didn't sleep worth shit the night before.

If anyone's curious, I'm making huuuuge progress getting around our new floor. That whole reference points from upstairs plan kinda got blown straight to hell since it's shaped just differently enough that I don't make the connection. But that's ok, I'm figuring it out. Thanks to my coworkers being extremely patient, and repeatedly pointing out the same landmarks, it started to click. In fact, on Thursday, I zooped around the second floor with very little help.

Trix puts me to shame. She had the damn place mastered in a day. I took about four days before things started to happen. But they're happening, so that's all that matters.

Our new floor is apparently gorgeous. It definitely has some very cool things about it. One thing I have to get used to, though, is that there's no sink nearby for me to dump Trix's water. But I have learned that there's usually a solution to every common problem, and I now own a pretty spill-proof water bowl. This means I can carry it from my desk to the bathroom, probably sloshing all the way, and not spill. Yeah!

But the process of learning a new floor has made me quite fascinated with my own brain. I have noticed that in the beginning stages of learning a place, I am incapable of noticing random details that usually end up being helpful. I'm so focused on listening to where I'm supposed to turn that I notice nothing else.

Then, gradually, I will notice things like the colour of a wall, the way a certain hallway feels, or the smell of coffee. But all these obvious details went completely unnoticed until I reached a certain point in my learning. It's so bizarre.

But I'm really disturbed by the flipside of all this new learning. I am noticing that more and more, I am getting lost in familiar areas. I'm making stupid mistakes, turning too soon, and once, I crossed a street, then turned and crossed the other way when I only intended to cross one way. The scary part about this is I have no conscious memory of making the second crossing. This is my memory of events the other day: walk up to pedestrian pole, push button to cross street, cross, continue to bus stop...bus stop? Hey? Bus stop? Where are you? They don't just tear down a shelter...or do they?

What really happened was after I crossed the first time, I turned and crossed the other way. I did it safely, but I have no memory of doing this and had to deduce what I had done based on playing that old hotter colder game with Trix where she goes faster as we approach familiar areas. This scared me so bad that I nearly stopped, pulled out my phone and scheduled an appointment to see my doctor because I wondered if I may have had some kind of bizarre seizure.

I'm starting to think that no, my brain has just been so busy absorbing so much knowledge that something had to give. I know that as it adapts, I will stop having these brain burps. But if I don't, the doc and I are going to have a long talk. Crossing streets and having no memory of doing so could get me and/or Trix killed, and I don't want to die anytime soon.

And I'm sad to report that my hopes of reviving my GPS didn't pan out so well. I got the new part, it was the right part, but it has the same sloppy connection problem the other one does...so I can only think that maybe something bent in the actual unit. I'm not going to give up until I have to. I might bring it to work and let someone who is the right kind of genius have a boo at it. There are enough different kinds of geniuses around there, someone might have an idea or six.

I watched the dumbest movie ever. If someone comes up to you and says "Let's watch 'The Happening'," tell them you'd rather not waste an hour and a half or so of your life. Believe me, watching that movie is...just dumb.

Ok, the premise is that this weird toxen is circulating through the air that's causing people to find funky ways to kill themselves. Freaky idea, but well, the ending totally suuucks. It couldn't be any more anticlimactic. And along the way, you could put a jeep down some of the plot holes in this movie. Oy. Just...why?

But I have run into a whole pack of people this weekend that have made me wonder if instead of there being a toxen out there turning people suicidal, there's one out there stealing people's ability to think...at all.

Let's back up to a couple of days ago. I went into the liquor store to pick up a gift card there. The woman who served me, after seeing someone show me to the counter, pointed at the gift cards. "We have that one, or that one, or that one." I had to tell her that I couldn't see anything, so she'd have to tell me what she was pointing at. Then, she proceeded to freak out, wondering how to put through a gift card. A manager had to walk her through every step of the process. In a final move of duh, she nearly swiped my gift card, which would have probably used it up before I'd even paid for it. Thankfully the supervisor stopped her.

Ok, whatever, a frazzled worker at a store. No big deal, right? Let's move on to yesterday. Trix needed another bath. For some reason her skin and coat got really oily really fast. I don't know if fish oil will do that or what. Since it was so cold out, I took a cab from the bathing place since I didn't want her to stand out in the cold, and even if I put a coat on her, it was her face I was worried about.

So, I paid debit for the cab. He swiped the card, pushed some buttons and waited. I asked him please give me the pin pad. "No," he says, "It's just waiting to go through." Um, hello? I need to specify the account and, um, enter my PIN. It took me a couple of attempts to get him to look at the screen, realize that I did in fact have to press some buttons, and give me the damn pad.

"Yeah," you say, "Whatever. Maybe he'd had a long day." But the parade continued this morning. I went to that Tim Hortons I talked about a little while ago. I had a craving for apple cider, so decided to get Steve and I some breakfast sandwiches and drinks. I arrived, and started to make my order. Before I finished, the girl started madly calling for a manager. I don't even know why. I think she thought they didn't sell cider or something. When someone could finally convince her that they did, she then said "Is that everything?" I asked her what she had heard, and basically she said nothing. So, how could that be everything if she doesn't remember a damn thing I ordered?

I went to pay with debit, since I can now, put the card in and punched the buttons. She then said she couldn't figure out if it had worked or not. She had to call someone over, and neither of them could figure it out. I had to actually call my bank and check that it had gone through.

Whatever, it's a new Tim's, they're a little frazzled. But while I was in the same store, a woman was very kind and offered to help me with my stuff. I told her what I had ordered and she handed me a bag and said that's everything. I said I had ordered a few sandwiches and a couple of drinks. She said "Yup." I knew the drinks weren't there because I didn't have a tray. Finally someone pointed out that the drinks were still sitting on the counter. She then said "Oh, I thought they were in the bag!" Um, what would have happened if they put the drinks in the bag with other things? They would have fallen over! Gaaaa!

The stupid virus wasn't confined to Guelph. I came home to my email, and found an email saying that a person had left a comment on this post about a USB stick. Just look at my first comment, and then Lilly's. Hello, did you actually think I was being completely serious? For real?

I ventured back out, and the stupid continued. As I was crossing the street, someone shot by and said "Is your dog doing better?" Huh? What is she even talking about? And why not stay around for the answer? Another person asked me what all Trix does for me, and then said "I have to run." Asking me what Trix does is a pretty complicated question. If you don't have the time, don't ask the question.

As I tried to find a place I'd never found before, I ran into a guy and thought I'd ask him. I was standing at the corner of two streets, let's call them Smith and Jones. I was looking for something on Jones. I asked him about the place, and said it was on Jones. His response? "I don't even know where Jones Street is." Uh, chief, take a gander at that there sign. He did, and still didn't know, so walked up to a woman and asked her where the place was. The response she gave him was a shriek that sounded like the woman a. didn't understand English and/or b. thought this man was out to rob or rape her. Instead of realizing this woman was not going to be of any help, he pressed on! I had to persuade him to leave her be, she was confused, and seemed scared.

At last, I was about to get on the bus and get home, hoping I wouldn't breathe in the stupid gas and start doing dumb things. An older fellow walked up to me and this is all he said. "Do you remember my voice? I met you on the bus." Well...that narrows it down in a hurry. He then told me he helped me find some place where an old theatre used to be. I still have no idea to what he was referring, nor do I remember him.

Ack. That is just too much weird in two days. I know if I show up at work tomorrow and people are acting stupid, I have something to fear.

I think that's about it for now. Hope you enjoyed the trip across my river of thoughts.

Intellistreets? Telescreens? Hmmm

I hope these new advertisement-blaring, conversation-spying poles won't be coming to an intersection near me anytime soon. I thought the security cameras were bad enough, but there's something even creepier about these ones.

Like something out of a sinister Orwellian vision of the future, streetlights with the ability to monitor conversations and announce government warnings are being installed on American streets.

As part of a federally-funded project, manufacturers Illuminating Concepts have begun installing the system, dubbed 'Intellistreets' in the town of Farmington Hills, Michigan.

According to the company’s video presentation the capabilities of the devices include homeland security, public safety, traffic control, advertising and video surveillance features.

So stay away from Farmington Hills, Michigan, if you can.

Not only is this sixteen different kinds of ug, I can see this being a big distraction for blind folks. Imagine trying to line up at the crosswalk and listen to traffic, only to have the traffic sounds overshadowed by some big loud advertisement box directly behind your head?

Yuck! Let's hope this doesn't become a new thing.

Robo...Dog?

I saw this a while ago, and have been meaning to write about it.

Some japanese scientists have invented a robotic guide dog. What I don't get about this is they say they invented it due to the rapidly aging population. So...there aren't enough guide dogs to go around? Is that the reason? Why would a robot be more useful due to the rapidly aging population?

For some reason I find it weird that they made a robotic dog, especially since they gave it a synthetic female voice. Why make it a dog at that point?

And aren't you just swapping one set of problems for another? Sure dogs get sick and have injuries and off days, but robots can run out of battery power, and wouldn't it suck if your guide bot ran out of juice in the middle of the street? Or what if one of the sensors designed to detect things failed? The difference between real dogs and machines is real dogs have a desire for self-preservation.

I don't know about you, but I think I'll stick with the living breathing guide dog.

Observations, Updates, And Other Goofiness

Here comes another giant pile of thoughts.

The other day, the oldies radio station was on and The Poppy Family That's Where I Went Wrong came on. And, unbidden, my only thought that came out loud and clear was "oh that poor bus stranger!" At that point I just started laughing. I didn't feel one bit of pity for the woman in the song...I just wanted her to shut up. Yes, go to sleep and forget him for a while. Then maybe that poor fellow who randomly selected the seat beside her can get some peace for god's sake!

Maybe that's because I've been that poor bus stranger, and we probably all have. You sit down, someone plunks beside you, and suddenly you hear their every tale of woe they have. Don't get me wrong, I've had lots of awesome conversations with seat mates on buses. But sometimes, oh lordy. I don't remember if I ever wrote about the time I had to pretty much babysit a fellow passenger, but that was an instance of me being a poor bus stranger. I was glad I did it, but oh man. I think experiences like that turned that song on its head for me. The thing is I've thought it I don't know how many times on a subconscious level, but this week, it came out loud and clear.

For some reason, one day I said something to Steve about "way down yonder in the Paw-paw patch." Then I immediately wondered "what the heck's a paw-paw? I guess it's a kind of apple, but it's funny how we just sing stuff and have no idea where it came from.

Last Wednesday I had an, um, interesting afternoon. Apparently my parking lot at work can get pretty ugly as hell in the winter, so the guy who drives me to work thought it would be good to get one of those accessible parking passes. At first I wasn't sure if I felt right about it since I thought most people who use them have actual physical injuries or lung problems that prevent them from physically walking from A to B. But now that I think about it, knowing we could always park in the same spot would mean it would help my orientation. I could probably walk from car to door on my own, which would be pretty awesome. Plus, it would reduce the amount of time I'd be mucking around in the parking lot amid people who potentially aren't the best drivers in the world.

So I decided to get one, and I have learned one thing for sure. The doctors I asked about this thing had no clue about it. I had to see the doctor I'm a not so huge fan of, and he scribbled down a note and told me to take it to City Hall. City Hall? How about no? This is done by the province I'm pretty sure. At that point he said he hadn't a clue how it worked.

So I went to a new walk-in clinic we have, which makes me happy as hell that we have another clinic, and it's being well-used. But the doctor there couldnt' figure out what category I fit under, even though there's a box for visual acuity. That'd be me. But he did the form, and all is right with the world. I have a pass, and will have a permanent one soon.

But that afternoon's travels were full of crazy loopy things that kept happening to me. First up, as I entered the clinic, I ran smack into a chick who was desperately afraid of dogs. I mean she started hyperventilating and totally freaking out. I felt horrible because I had nowhere to go. We were squished into a tiny space between two doors.

But she made me roll my eyes when I was finished at the clinic and went to leave. She was still there, and sat right by the door, ya know, the exit door. So as I approached it, she started freaking out again! Hello lady, I have to go that way. If you're so afraid of dogs, move the hell away from the door! You've been warned!

On my way down to the clinic, Trix had to go poop. I picked it up, but had no idea where a garbage can was. So there I was with a bag of poop in my pocket. Total suck. But I had to chuckle as kid after kid was rushed into the bathroom at the clinic. I think the parents thought *their* kids were causing the stench! Although I was embarrassed about having a bag of dog doo, I couldn't help but snicker.

And in my final piece of adventures from that day, I went into the grocery store in that plaza. It used to be called Price Chopper, now it's Fresh Co. Whatever. I went in to buy two things. Seriously, two items. The girl helped me, and then said she talked to her manager and her manager said I really should call ahead if I'm going to want help.

I'm sorry, did I have a list as long as my arm? No. I wanted to buy two items. I do not think I have to call ahead for something that small. Hell, I pick up more things at a convenience store than that. I would totally call ahead if I was getting a whole heap of things and needed an escort around the store. But two things? Seriously?

They have kind of been difficult from time to time, constantly asking "are you done yet?" when I've had 4 things on my list, but this was pretty offensive. In future, I'll probably just avoid that store. If I'm such a burden, they can do without my business.

But on a happier note, there's a Tim Hortons that opened up pretty close to our house. Oh baby. I see danger on the horizon. Resist the urge for Timmie's! The girl was really nice there, although when I said I was blind and couldn't find the Tim's, she didn't think I literally meant blind. Oh boy, she's going to have stories when she gets home. I kind of feel bad for getting a little annoyed with her, but there were no pedestrians on that stretch of sidewalk, so I called the place, told her I was blind and her immediate response was "Well can't you see the sign?" Poor girl, she felt really sheepish after that. So the moral of the story, people, is never assume the person telling you they're blind is speaking in metaphor. Chances are they *are* blind. Or do more people just say "I'm blind" when they say they're lost? Am I just oblivious?

And in another piece of happy news, my ailing Trekker is on its way back to the land of the living!

Here's the scoop. I finally went to a store that had the means to voltage test the charger. Then, to my shock and horror, they said the charger was fine. We eventually deduced that it was that piece on the end of the splitter that started breaking so long ago. So, because of that series of things, and the three-way splitter mess, I was hesitant to call up Humanware and ask for any more parts. So I tried charging the PDA using my sync cable. But because the battery had drained so low, when it asked for power, my computer said it was asking for too much power and would not allow. It did this on a couple of machines. At least I'm hoping that's what the problem is.

Well, with the buses completely changing routes in January, I was getting desperate. I've come to realize that that piece is likely only sold by Humanware. So I bought a new one. But it wasn't $60 like the guy claimed, it was $35. You'd think sales reps in Humanware could get their facts straight. Let's hope when it arrives, it's the right part. But if it is, at the end of the day, my Trekker should be back in business.

I think that's about it for now at least in this post. I have other ideas that's for sure.

If There Was A War For Best Celebrity GPS, It Has Been Won

Either I haven't done it or found it yet, or there's not much to talk about today. So just because it's awesome, enjoy this video ad for the TomTom Bert and Ernie GPS.

If it was blind dude accessible, I would buy this in a heartbeat. I hope you're paying attention, GPS for blind dudes creators.

iPadato

The paper laptop and wooden iPad scams have moved across the pond, where we find that a man in the UK has parted with £200 for an iPad that turned out to be a laptop bag full of potatoes.

That's right, citizens of Spartanburg. There are people in this world even slower than you are. For as dumb as some of you have proven to be, at least I can say in your defence that wooden iPads and paper laptops probably do not A: feel like a bunch of lumpy spheres or B: rattle around like potatoes in a bag.

The victim was on Dark Lane at around 4pm when he was approached by a man who offered him the i-pad. A price of £200 was agreed and the men drove to a nearby cash machine on Commercial Street where the £200 was exchanged for a black laptop bag that the victim believed contained the i-pad.

It was not until after the victim left the area and opened the bag, that he discovered it contained some potatoes.

For all the good it'll do, I'm still going to ask again. Why are we not opening these things before money changes hands? Simple I know, but so are the customers.

An Update On The Chip And PIN Credit Card Question

As the title suggests, there's an update to the do chip and PIN credit cards have a problem with blind people question from a couple of days ago.

The best answer I can give after go rounds with the bank and with TD Visa is that I still haven't a clue, and I won't get to find out. I'm not the biggest fan of how we got there, but I think in the end it turned out as well as it could have.

The person at the bank who helped do the PIN revealing thing seemed to understand the problem of buttonless PIN pads, but wasn't aware of them being an everywhere thing much like a couple of commenters said and Carin and I suspected. She suggested that we talk to the people at TD Visa, which we had to do anyway to fully activate the card.

This is where things went a little sideways. The activation person had no good answer, so sent us over to customer service when his job was done. Makes sense. But there was...let's call it a language barrier in the way once we got there. It took a couple of attempts before the woman had even the vaguest idea of what we wanted, and even then it was wrong. She appeared to make the classic assumption that PIN pads equal automatic bad, forgetting that the blind person on the other end of the call likely dialed in on a keypad.

She talked to a supervisor to see what could be done, and when she came back on the line a process had been started to disable the chip and PIN features and to send out the old style magnetic strip cards, even though that hadn't at all been asked for. There was much woe woe woe wait whatting, at which point she talked to the supervisor again and things were kinda sorta fixed.

I guess TD Visa has run into this issue before, because they didn't take long to come up with something completely sensible. What they're doing is sending out a new card, so the one I just got is useless though I should still be able to use the one I've been using for the last few years. They're sending a chip capable card so that it will work even after they start phasing out the older swipe and sign machines. But when it reads the chip, rather than asking for a PIN, the screen will say sign only and I'll have to sign the receipt.

It's a decent combination of the new and old systems, I figure. My card is modern enough not to throw anybody for a loop, and since the sign only command is given from on high by the Visa gods rather than by stupid 'ol me, it'll be harder to get turned away when I do run into a buttonless pad. I'd have preferred to keep the PIN option for situations when I could use it but have a sign option when I can't, but this really does make more sense and should save me potential trouble (see Gods, Visa).

So that's where we are. I'm awaiting both my new card and the first time a clerk thinks the store's machine is broken and I get to explain it. I know it's bound to happen, and I bet it won't take long seeing as it's pretty much Christmas shopping season. Sorry I don't have a better answer for everybody, but if nothing else you know that there is a workaround if you choose to ask for one...and possibly even if you don't.

A Question About Chip And PIN Credit Cards And Their Use By The Blind

The time has come for me to renew my credit card. The new one came in the mail late last week, so now all I have to do is get a hand from somebody to activate it. But before I do, a question.

The new one is one of those chip and PIN deals that all the banks are rolling out to increase security until somebody figures out how to beat the system like always happens. I didn't think a whole lot about this since I've already got a chip and PIN bank card and it's no big deal, but Carin mentioned something the other day that changed that in a hurry.

She thought back to a bit of conversation she'd had with a blind person a while ago. The guy, who from all accounts is no fool, mentioned in passing that he'd gone to the bank and gotten them to deactivate the chip and PIN features on his Visa because of accessibility concerns. Unfortunately the chat had to end before there was a chance to fully explain this and she doesn't have contact info for him, so now we're both curious and a tiny bit concerned.

I've done some Googling and I'm coming up pretty empty. I found the story of a blind fellow in the UK who was refused his request to sign for a credit card payment twice by the same store even though his bank says he's allowed to do that, but the closest thing to an access issue is that all PIN pads are a little bit different, which is the same issue there's been with debit machines everywhere for years and is hardly a deal breaker. The only other things I'm finding are small references to people's disabilities perhaps making it difficult or impossible to use the pads, but none of those explain what that actually means.

So my questions are these: Did Carin's chatting companion over react or is there a real problem here? Are all of the chip and PIN credit card processing machines touchscreens no matter who makes them? Are the majority of them? Did the security people invent a new and exciting way to screw with the blind? Is the problem really no different than it's always been, that not all pads are the same and not all store clerks are created equal?

I'm going to ask the people at the bank and see if that does any good, but if anybody knows, please drop us a note. And feel free to share this around. The more people who see it, the easier it'll hopefully be to get to the bottom of it and solve the mystery. Thanks in advance for any help. You folks are a resourceful bunch sometimes.