If Beth Gets A Snuggy As A Wedding Present, We All Know Why

Here's another example of what could happen if you text the wrong number, and you're...really dumb. Your exchange could get put up on a blog for all to see. At first I thought this was made up, but I don't think someone could make up this amount of dumb. it continued the next day!

What was really weird about this Jane person was she kept going between realizing she wasn't talking to Amanda, and then lapsing back into asking about wedding gifts. Um...just how out to lunch is she?

So...if you're texting, check the number! Now I'm hoping I get a stranger text. Maybe the one who said they got our number from Johnny 1 nut will text me.

You're Gonna Score Me Some Drugs? Wow, What A Trooper! Oh Wait, You Really Are A Trooper

Let's start today by adding this fellow to the wrong number files.

Yes, Aaron Sartin. The police probably do have lots of drugs hanging around. But unless you luck into a corrupt one, they generally get them from guys like you, not sell them to guys like you.

The Nebraska State Patrol said that one of its troopers started getting text messages last week from a person who was looking to buy drugs. The trooper continued to correspond through text messages until a meeting place was set up.

The trooper, dressed in civilian clothes, arrived at the agreed upon location and arrested 23-year-old Aaron Sartin of Kearney, Nebraska, police said.

And he apparently didn't really need to buy drugs anyway, judging from his list of charges. driving under the influence of drugs, possession of less than an ounce of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. Police also say more charges are pending.

If Drug Dealing School Exists, Maybe It's Time To Think About Adding A Text The Right Damn Person Class

There are a lot of things I don't understand. One of them is how criminals, drug dealing ones specifically, manage to text the authorities with sales offers on a semi-regular basis. Is it common to have cops in your contacts, or are that many people simply that unlucky?

Perhaps we should ask Amy R. Horman and Pandora L. Cowgur for their opinion, since an arrant text from Horman to an employee of the Perry County, Missouri Sheriff's Department made them the latest to be qualified to offer one up.

The police weren't interested in buying anything, but they were more than happy to search for it. That search netted them about 3 quarters of a pound of marijuana, rolling papers and packaging along with some scales. It netted Horman charges of felony distribution of a controlled substance and misdemeanor unlawful use of drug paraphernalia. Cowgur got felony possession of a controlled substance, misdemeanor possession of up to 35 grams of marijuana and misdemeanor unlawful use of drug paraphernalia. Sounds like everybody scored huge.

I have to ask. When these two get their one phone call, who's going to make sure the number is right?

The Sender Needs Time On The Couch, But Not That Kind.

If you're trying to sell a couch, do you really think sending pictures of people engaged in the act of oral sex on said couch is a good tactic? I don't know about you, but I'd be worried about what would have been left behind on the couch, and would want to run far far away from buying it.

But it's especially bad when you send the pictures to the wrong number, and the recipient is a nine-year-old boy. Then the police get involved.

One statement the boy's family made stands out to me.

The family says they gave Ty'Ge a cell phone so he and his sister could check in with the family before and after school.

"It was a security blanket," Moore explained.

Now, they feel their security has been breached and are not sure what to do.

"Do you keep the phone or take the phone?" Moore asked.

Uh, it's a no-brainer. Let him keep the phone. Weird shit is bound to happen. At least he was smart enough to show the pictures to his family and go "What's this?" I think he can handle it if you sit him down and talk to him about it. I know it sucks to have to talk to him about this stuff, but it's going to come sooner or later.

But the guy who sent the pictures is messed up. I mean, they even called him back and said if he didn't stop texting stuff to the kid, they were calling the police, and he told them to do what they must. Strange guy.

Want Some Drug Charges?

Ok, that seals it. We now need a wrong number tag, and I'm making it just as soon as I put this up.

I've said it before. If you're dealing drugs or doing any sort of criminal activity, and you're using your phone to do it, triple check you're texting the right number. Otherwise, you just might text the grandson of a state trooper and ask him if he wanted some hash. The little guy may not know what you're talking about, but grandpappy sure does, as do his on duty friends, who then set up a deal. When they don't show up fast enough, you might decide to go home, and then they'll follow you, search you, your car and your house, and find lots and lots of drugs. And then you get to spend some time in the big house.

And all of this could have been avoided if you'd just checked the number.

Now, if anyone needs me, I'll be sifting through the blog looking for posts about dialing the wrong number.

The Number You Have Reached Is Not The Dealer.

We have another texted wrong number, this guy was looking for drugs and texted the sheriff instead of a dealer. If I were the dealer, I'd be changing my number.

The funniest part is what happened when the sheriff sent a detective to meet with them for the deal. The detective found the teens...with their parents! So, if this was an actual deal, they were going to just pick up the dope in front of Daddy Dear? And Daddy dear wasn't one of those stupid parents who would be down with that. He was pretty mad when he found out what the kid was up to. So how was the kid going to pull this off?

I also love that as soon as the kids saw they'd been busted, they turned white, and one of 'em passed out!

Kids, check your numbers before you text.

Wacky Lackey

Look, James Blair Lackey, if you're going to send a big ol' cellphone picture of your nether regions to someone, check the damn number, would ya? If you don't, and the number's wrong, you've got yourself an offended woman and some obscenity charges.

And this is a message to everyone. If you're going to send a message that should only be seen by certain people's eyes, triple check the number! I got called up one day by a strange number. I picked up, and got greeted by that Rogers text to land line robo voice. It said something very similar to "Suck my Chinese nuts. I got your number from one nut. Guess who?" I have no flaming clue who that number belonged to, so I'm sure that message was intended for someone else. If you're going to start talking about sucking nuts, for the love of Christ, make sure you're texting the right person!

Wrong Number, Right Time

Wow! How often does that happen? The teacher tries to humiliate someone, and the class ends up getting a speech from a diplomat!

It all started with an errant phone call to Logan Svitzer, who was sitting in high school history class. His phone just kept ringing and ringing! The teacher got mad, marched over to Svitzer, yanked his phone and called the person who was calling him. She asked the person what was so pressing that they just had to keep calling. She soon discovered that she had the Zambian ambassador to the UN on the line!

No, this fellow was not calling Svitzer on purpose, he had the wrong number. But because he had interrupted their class, he came and spoke to the school!

Seriously, how often does it happen that the teacher says the classic "Well, if Logan here has something so important to say, why doesn't he stand up and share it with the rest of us?" and something important happens? If I had been Svitzer, I would have just shut off my phone after the first ring. It's a good thing I'm not. I would have prevented a pretty awesome speech from happening.

You Have, One, New Drug Deal In Your Mailbox

Here's a tip. When calling your boss and leaving a voicemail, always check that you've hung up properly before continuing with your activities, especially if they involve making a drug deal. If you don't, you may end up fired, just like Joseph Stankiewicz did.

He claims that it's not him on the recording, but a judge noticed that the voice is the same, and it even mentions expecting a call back from his work and tells his companion to be quiet if he gets a call back. So um, he's kinda busted.

Also included in this article is a long list of other folks who didn't learn how to properly hang up or dial their phones, including the dude who meant to call his friend, but called his boss. He somehow didn't notice he had dialed wrong, and left a big ol' message on the machine about how much his boss was driving him insane.

This reminds me of something that happened to me. I was back at guide dog school getting Babs, and a friend called me to see how I was doing. We talked for a while and I said I wanted to call mom and dad, but it was tricky to do that, since there was only one phone in the hall. My friend said she had conference calling capabilities, so she could connect me with mom and dad. I thought this was a great idea, and asked her if she would do that. She called them, but we got their answering machine. I left a message, and then I thought she had hung up. So we were gabbing away...and...then I heard the old familiar boop boop that means you're approaching the limit for the answering machine! We were still leaving a voicemail! I asked her to erase it, and she tried, but failed. So mom and dad got a voicemail complete with a bunch of swearing. They took it well. I turned 40 shades of red.

My Ruined Life Is A Series Of Beeps

I've gotten a few errant text messages from time to time, but never have I decided that I should meet the wrong number-texter and fight. But that's what Scott Allen Elder and Brian Matison decided to do. They met in a parking lot and Elder, who actually is the younger of the two men, shot Matison. Now Matison is in serious condition.

Folks, it's a wrong number. It's not worth seriously injuring someone and going to jail for it, oh yeah, and getting a felony charge.

I'm Sorry, You've Got The Wrong Mindset

Here's a new one for ya.
Phone: ring
me: Hello?
pause
me: ah shit here we go, a telemarketer.
heavily accented voice: Hello. Is This (says some name that isn't mine)?
me: Nope, you have the wrong number.
heavily accented voice. No. I have the right number, just the wrong person.

Yeah, and in most of the sane universe, that means you've got the wrong number. It's only the right number because you don't really care who you get. Most people, when they call a number, are looking for a specific person. If that person doesn't live there, they've got the wrong number. There is no such thing as the right number but the wrong person.

Damn it Bell and all your new services you gave us to make up for screwing up our bill, why did you have to give us Identicall numbers that used to belong to someone who seemed to attract telemarketers?

Wrong Number, Big Mistake

Ya know, if you're going to call a friend at midnight to announce that you killed all the bad guys in your videogame by saying "I have killed them all",ya might wanna triple check that you're dialing the right number, Especially if you're Thomas Ballard, who has an outstanding warrant for his arrest. It wasn't for killing anyone, only for cocaine-related charges, but still...

Wrong Number In A Big Way

Man, we're just full of stories about stupid people today. Our latest moron text messaged someone about buying some pills, but got the wrong number, and ended up texting a police detective. So, you can guess they lined themselves up for an arrest. Easy there, fast-fingers. You'd think you'd check the number before making an illegal drug deal. Hell, you wouldn't think you'd even deal at all when you have a 2-year-old. But I guess that's another sign this person is dumb.

Nooo! I don't have the wrong number! Give me Bob!

Here I go again, babbling about wrong numbers. No, it's not about what we say when someone else gets a wrong number, or people not listening to answering machines in people's homes. This one happens very rarely, but it happens. I volunteer at a Distress line, a phone line that people phone when they're upset, need help of some kind, or are outright at the end of their rope. I also have to answer another line that people phone if they need emergency shelter. I answer this line by saying, "Emergency shelter line." This becomes important.

I picked up this line the other day, and answered it just the way I said I do. The voice on the other line didn't miss a beat. He said, "Yeah can I speak to Robert?" Sometimes people get confused when they call this line. They think we are one of the shelters or that we can connect them with individual people at agencies. So I asked him where Robert worked. He said, "Oh, is this not RME Engineering?" Does RME Engineering sound anything like Emergency Shelter Line? Come on, it wasn't like he called somewhere and the person just said, "Hello?" I swear people are in their own little worlds nowadays. But, should this surprise me? No.

I've also had telemarketers call the distress line trying to sell me magazines. I understand some of them aren't actually able to hear you until a couple seconds later, but this one could definitely hear me. There was no pause, no automated dialing. He would have heard what I said. If I ever have the misfortune of being a phone drone, if I ever dial a number where the person answering says "Distress Line," I will just apologize, say I have the wrong number, and move on. Really, there's no hope of a sale. The most you're going to get is a stern explanation that you're tying up an important line and a quick goodbye.

Some people insist they in fact have the right number. That's fun. I had a friend whose number was just slightly different than the university, and they got so many irate people yelling "Why aren't you answering the phone like the university?" It happened every day. They even had to put the university's number on their answering machine because I guess they got a few irate messages too. Come on people! If they're not answering the phone like the university, news flash, they probably *aren't* the university!

So, are people going deaf? Do we all mumble when we're answering the phone? What is it?

What? Listening? On a Phone?

Here's something that always puzzles me. Tell me something. If you're looking for Nick Smith, you call what's supposed to be Nick Smith's number and you get an answering machine that says, "Hello. Thank you for calling Bob Jones. Leave a message." What would you do? Would you just continue leaving a big message for Nick about how you're wondering when he's planning on returning your pink underwear that you left at his place and whatever happened to Stan? Or would you realize that, oops, I have the wrong number? Unless Nick's machine routinely says that you've reached Bob Jones, I hope you'd do the second.

For some reason, I see a lot of the first. These are the exact words on my machine. "Hi. You've reached Carin. I'm not here right now, so leave a message." I got the following message this morning at 6: "Hello, I'm looking for Casey, wondering if he's coming to work. It's the foreman, and it's 6:15." And the strange part was he didn't even say something like, "Hmm, I don't know if this is Casey's number. This is the one I have for him. So if he's here..." He seemed completely unshakable in his belief that Casey was there, and just not picking up the phone, that bastard. When the blue bloody hell did Carin start to sound like Casy? And, he's looking for a male named Casey. Last time I checked, I didn't sound overly manly.

The funny part is this isn't the first time it's happened. I've had people call and say they'd like to tell Becky they made it to town, I've had people leave messages for the Holiday Inn or Frederic Travel, and leave everything but their visa number on my machine. Hey, chief. Usually businesses don't answer to Carin. Or, I'll pick up the phone, and this older woman will just start talking to me. She'll say something like, "Hey, Shellie?" Then she'll ramble on until I manage to stop her and say, "I'm not Shellie!" Judging by her age and the friendliness she has with this Shellie person, I can pretty much guarantee I don't sound like Shellie.

I can understand confusion on an answering machine where no name is given, or the recording is silly, or it's just the phone number. But if there's a name there that doesn't match the one you're looking for, wouldn't that be your first clue that ya might wanna try again?

Speaking Of Saying Things The Wrong Way...

I just said something completely stupid. I knew it was stupid before the words had even left my mouth, but as happens to all of us sometimes, I said it anyway. Dont' ask me why, because I have no good answer other than I'm human and humans do that sort of thing now and then. Some of us more than others, but that's another topic entirely. It's too bad there's no way to suck in words that escape before they become public, I'm sure that would solve a lot of the world's troubles, although it would also take away a lot of the world's humour. But thankfully the person didn't notice, because what I said is something that a lot of people say all the time.

It happened this way:

Steve's Phone: "Ring."

Steve: "Hello."

Wind: That sound that wind makes when it blows into a phone. I can't spell it, but you know the one.

Steve: "Hello."

Nervous Guy: "Uh, hi, is Shawn there?"

Steve: "I think you've got the wrong number."

Nervous Guy: "ok, sorry man."

Steve: "No problem."

I'm sure that's what a lot of you are thinking too, no problem, as in Steve, there's no problem with that conversation. But yes my friends, there is a problem with that conversation. For you see, I don't *think* that Nervous Guy has the wrong number, I *know* that he has the wrong number. Because from the moment I'm asked, I have no doubt that Shawn is not here, and I'm also certain that he will not be returning after his round of golf, his scrotum waxing, or whatever else he chooses to do with his time. So why then do I have to think about it? It implies that I had to conduct a thorough investigation in order to correctly determine the answer to the nice man's question, which I most certainly did not. Had there been a need to do so, the conversation probably would have gone something like this:

Nervous Guy: "Is Shawn There?"

Steve: "Hmmm, certainly a fine question, the answer to which does not spring immediately to mind. I can however tell you at this point that he does not appear to be in this particular room. Furthermore, it seems that walking in and out of all other rooms available has not yielded any positive results on the Shawn front. Perhaps if I continue to traverse the area while simultaneously screaming his name at the top of my lungs he may materialize. Shawn! Shawn! Shawn? Shaaaaawwwwwwn!!!!!! No, that doesn't appear to have worked. Let me try the same thing, this time using the outside of my home as my prefered zone of potential discovery. Shawn! Shawn! Shawn? Shaaaaawwwwwwn!!!!!! Unfortunately that does not seem to have produced the desired outcome either, however my neighbour John is looking at me funny now. But if you would be so kind as to allow me a few moments of reflection time I would be more than happy to trace my movements up to this point in an attempt to ascertain when exactly I last laid eyes upon our apparently AWOL friend."

"Well, this is certainly interesting. A preliminary journey through the depths of my memory has turned up nothing of substance as of now, and as I deliberate more intensely it is becoming abundantly clear that I cannot, in fact, remember the last time I was in Shawn's company, he in mine, or we in ours. Indeed, I can now state without hesitation that Shawn does not, nor has he ever, resided in this location. And in yet another shocking twist to this situation, it further seems that I have lived alone here from such time as I took up my own residence here in this place I fondly call home. All of this evidence, when taken together, leads me to only one conclusion. You my friend most certainly have a wrong number."

Nervous Guy: "Ok, sorry man."

Steve: "No problem."

See what I mean? Problem. But we all say it without giving it a second thought, or even a first for that matter. Why is that, and why can't we stop? Can we actually be so unsure of ourselves that we need to consider the answer? Do we simply feel bad for the poor guy who feels like an idiot now and has to dial again on top of it? Or is it something else? I don't know, but maybe Shawn does. Now if only I could get ahold of him...