Long Weekend Audio: What Made Me Choose A Guide Dog

Here comes another one. This one will be quick. Ceci asked me what made me decide to get a guide dog...so I started talking.

I hope something in here makes some sense. Sometimes I feel like my thoughts are a bit disorganized and confusing. But I think my main points are walk with some guide dog teams and if you can, spend a little time with one, so you can really get a feel for it. And, ask lots and lots of questions.

I wrote some of this down in this ADBC post from a while back but here it is in audio form. Enjoy. This one's only 15 minutes.

Dear Cleveland:

Hi there. I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s Trixie. You don’t know me, but I’m old enough to be your grandma, or at least your aunt. I want to tell you a few things to get you ready for what’s ahead, so sit down and listen. Sit your wagging butt down and listen. You know how to settle. Good boy!

First, the good news. I know you’re scared. You’ve had a lot of change in your life. But you’ll come to find out that this is the new normal, and you’re headed for a lot of fun. All that weird stuff about
showing people poles and obstacles and stopping at curbs and watching for cars is all going to start making sense. That guy at the end of the leash? He *really* can’t see! I know you saw people slap things over their eyes so they couldn’t see while you walked around with them, but this guy doesn’t need a thing over his eyes. They don’t work. So you have to tell him about stuff or he’ll fall down or get hurt. I know how much you seem to like him, and he’s the one between you and the food bowl, so you don’t want that to happen, right? Right.

But pssst, let me tell you a secret. For a little while, you can use that non-working eyes thing to your advantage! At first, you can trick him a bit, like staying quiet when you really don’t want to go on tie-down, or trying to be sneaky. He’ll figure you out, but until he does…oh boy! Plus, people who don’t know the don’t pet the dog rule will get more chances to get their pets in because he won’t know what to feel for. Oh boy oh boy! Those were the days, and they’re all yours!

Oh. I’ve heard a little bit about where you’re headed. There’s another man there. I don’t know if he has nice balls like the fat man they call Steve does, but his eyes don’t work either. So, once you get taken off the leash, don’t sleep in the middle of the floor, or if you do, be ready to mooooove at a moment’s notice!

Oh yeah, another thing. When you have to pee, staring at the door isn’t going to work. Remember, his eyes don’t work. So, walk over and tap him and walk back to the door, or whine, or do something to tell him you have to pee. Otherwise, you might go pee where you shouldn’t, and if you’re like me, that’s just bad bad bad.

Oh yeah, just a little word of warning. Your human might be a little crazy worried about you. So, while he’s figuring you out, if you hack or do anything weird, you might end up at the vet. Don’t worry, this will get better. Be patient.

Where did you grow up? I know where I grew up, I wasn’t ready for the way the weather knob moves around up here. The first time it got c-c-c-c-c-c-cold up here, I thought this was the new normal, and that made me pretty sad. And it didn’t just get c-c-c-c-cold, the ground was covered in white stuff! There was the crunchy fluffy white stuff, and the slippery slidey white stuff. Go slow on the slippery slidey white stuff, or your human will fall down.

Anyway, it’s going to get c-c-c-c-c-cold and white, and all the rules are going to change. Sometimes, you have to climb over white stuff to get to the street, but some white stuff isn’t for climbing. And the humans are so mean. They take all the white stuff away from the places where people drive, and leave it where you and your human have to walk.

But the white stuff isn’t all bad. It’s fun to play in. *roll roll roll snort snort shukh shukh roll!* And your feet sink into it and you can see foot marks from where you’ve been. It’s neat!

I think I heard you have boots. I hate boots. I can’t think straight with boots on. What do you think of boots? Maybe you can get your human to get you the goo Carin puts on me. Mushers something. It’s nice goo. I don’t like it much when she’s putting it on, but it does a good job, and then I don’t have to where those prancy horsey boots! Yuck!

But let me tell you. The white stuff will go away, and you’ll get the nice grass back. I know you won’t believe me, but it will.

Hmmm. I think that’s most of the tips I can pass on to you. You have a lot to learn. You need to figure out how to talk to your human. He speaks human and tries to speak dog. You speak dog and try to understand human and get the message through. Sometimes it works, sometimes, not so much. Some days it feels like you can’t get anything right and you’d rather sniff a bush. But sometimes, you just feel so darn good you want to wag so hard your puppy raisers can feel the breeze off your tail. Eventually, it will be more good than bad, but you two have a lot to learn, so expect some not so good. But you’re a good boy and a smart boy, and he’s a good human and a smart human. You’ll figure it out.

I can show you more tricks if we get to meet in person. Then we can really wiggle noses and share secrets, but until then, this will have to do. I hear you just got off a flying car bus thing, and you’re probably huuuuungry. Everything is fine. Try and relax.

With licks, wags, shukhs and snorts of hello,

Trixie

Long Weekend Audio: Caboom!Cast

The urge struck us to do some more audio, so here we are. We had a lot of fun doing this one.

It started with me not saying go at the right moment. Woops. Welcome to me not being a good record button-pusher. Then we just rambled about the awesome weather, the Blue Jays winning again, and the coolness that is our balcony.

I don't know if you can hear what happened next, but somebody's car alarm similar to the one I described in this old post started going off, so Steve started imitating it...at which point, Trix brought us back to the reason we decided to do this audio in the first place.

Unfortunately you can't hear it, but Trix started circling us, puffing furiously. We put the mic in her face, but she did not puff hello. I described some new behaviour Trix does when there are fireworks or thunder storms, or our new term, thunderworks! The fear has been with her all along, but it has changed recently. Oh yeah? and I meant 1 a.m. not p.m. woops.

And as we finished up our thunderworks discussion, we came up with another term. Nicky Nicky Blind door: the act of a blind person knocking on the wrong door, realizing it's the wrong house, and getting the hell out of dodge, leading the person who lives in the wrong house to believe they've been a victim of Nicky Nicky 9 Door. And here's the link to the story of that blind guy getting shot in the face when he entered the wrong house. Oh yeah, and here's the story of the drunk unintentional houseguest we had one night. Before we move on, here's that car alarm bit I was talking about, a super detailed account of Shoe's surprise 40th birthday party, and a picture of the yes please burger. Holy crap, how many things did we have to mention in that short stint?

Moving on, we talked some more about the hot weather, and the plants a friend and I are planting in the Enabling Garden. Hey, anybody know where the reference "fuck this cat, and fuck this door!" came from? Go ahead and take a guess. At this point, we came up with our third invented word, Friedo (pronounced "fried o"): dog left in a hot car. We also made up some new lyrics to what would be the Frido song. And you know what? We should have stuck to that song...because I proceeded to ruin the next song we attempted. Even these people did a better job.

This led to an awesome story of how, in his CFRU days, Steve unintentionally insulted electronica. R2D2, a television and a vacuum having a threesome, you say? What a description.

Wow. This thing goes everywhere. We went from how you can't please everybody on the radio and on websites to me apologizing for not realizing that the Jonathan Sory story was more tragic than it seemed on the surface.

...which somehow led in a long and winding way to things taking on a totally different meaning if you're just listening to them, which then led to talking about screen reader users who just go by the way words sound and don't check the spelling, which can lead to some rather creative typos. Man, if you're bored, I understand.

Before we signed off, I made fun of Steve's loud phone text message noises, and Trix reappeared, looking all scared all over again.

And that about does it for another one. I think coining 3 new terms is pretty good. We enjoyed putting it together, hope you enjoy listening. Go get it in all its 1 hour and 7 minute glory.

Long Weekend Audio: The First Of Many Casts

Well...our first audio is up. We had hoped to have it up last night, but we kind of fell over after we finished recording it. The file got uploaded to the server, but hell if I was going to write the post around it. So I'm writing it this morning.

Poor Steve had to start it alone, because Trix had to take care of business. But I figured I'd make my presence known. If you wondered why Steve suddenly made some yelling noise in the middle of his sentence, no, he hasn't lost his mind. I was down below, making the Tugboat noise at him. I hoped the mic would pick it up, but it didn't. The Tugboat noise? Yes, the Tugboat noise. It's about 6 minutes in, but there it is. Probably if I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't believe it either.
If you don't feel like waiting 6 minutes for 16 seconds of Tugboaty goodness, you can download his promo right here. Eeeeeee!

After I distract him with randomly-placed Tugboat noises, Steve manages to get his groove back, and talks about our new website, and how it's awesome to have audio capabilities back. He then moves on to baseball, and how certain Blue Jays are doing really well while others were awesome, but need some help.

When I got back, we talked about wrestling, and I finally sort of mention Tugboat, but we really couldn't do him justice. That moved us on to how much wrestling has changed over the years, and how hard it is to be a new fan today.

Next up, I gave a brief update on me, and how Trix gave me a little bit of a scare. This led us to talking about how awesome it is to move over from Blogger to a place where we actually have some server space, and the awesome that is Skynet Communications. We also got to rag on Blogger importer for screwing up who wrote what, and being just a wee bit bizarre.

Somehow we got from here to talking about the new Guelph Central Station, AKA the land of confusion where our city buses live now. We talked about how eventually we hope it will be easier to navigate, but right now, it's a total zoo, and we're all confused, which is really fun when transfer times are next to 0. We also talked about how it's kind of dumb to have a heap of bus platforms and no real shelter, since the inside of the building won't be functional until 2013. Also, we mentioned that that light at St. George's Square is no longer an all-way stop, so don't die, everybody.

As we talked about the crappy decision that was changing routes in January, we some how wandered into describing our creepy landlord from the old apartment building.

Next up, Steve gave his opinions on foreign music. What more can I say about that little piece. Oh, I can link to the video I mentioned as part of the conversation.



While Steve went to get a beer, I talked about how awesome Shane's podcasts are, and how they brought back memories of training.

Things begin winding down with another plug for Skynet Communications. Somehow that led into a talk about how the "underline" key is now called "underscore" and wondering how that happened.

We wrap things up by reminding people that they can send us questions and we will answer them in an audio mailbag, but we need more questions, so keep sending them in.

And that does it for our first 53 minutes of chaos. If you feel so inclined, go get it. Enjoy, and there will be more to come, I'm sure.

An Interview With Carin And I All About Adjusting To Guide Dog Life

We should have been all over this like fat kids on candies last week, but since late to the party should almost be our next header slogan nowadays, let's just go ahead and do this now, shall we?

Shane, one of the lovely and talented folks responsible for the new home our website has now, is off getting himself a guide dog from Guide Dogs for the Blind. That's the same place Carinw ent to get the Trixter, in case you've forgotten or are new. He's not at the same campus she was, but the training ideals and apparently the food are the same.

Since he appears to be some kind of machine that will sleep when he's dead, he's been blogging and podcasting his adventure like a friggin madman. He's taken us on his trip to the school, on a bunch of training routes and is even finding time to interview people about their experiences with dogs and getting them to answer questions for folks who may want to go down a similar road in the future.

One of those interviews, as it happens, is with both myself and Carin. Ok Steve, we understand Carin, you're saying. She's got the dog. But you're just the fat man with the nice balls, as Trixie would say. What wisdom could you possibly have to impart? Well, if you'd like to find out, you can truck yourselves on over here and have a listen. And if you'd like to follow along with Shane's dog saga, all the posts you're looking for should live here.

Thanks to Shane for having us. Hopefully something we had to say will be valuable and helpful to somebody.

A Musical Reminder To Carin As She Gets Ready To Take Trixie For Her Physical

This will only make complete sense to two people, and we both live here. The rest of you can feel free to enjoy the music, though.

Spring Ahead...Into My Thought Pool

Now that I've got my email fixed, it's ramblin' time!

I'm so happy that winter was not too bad to us, but I'm even happier that spring just might be on its way. It'll take me a long time to truly believe it's here since winter never really got going, but whatever this weather is, I'm enjoying it.

I've noticed lately that Trix has this new bizarre morning ritual. She comes out, heads for Steve, snorts, and spits all over him! She never does this to me, just poor Steve! And I swear she makes sure to maximize how much of him gets the snort shower. What the hell does that mean?

The other day Steve and I were watching Investigation Discovery, a channel all about looking into violent crimes, forensics, all that sort of stuff. There are lots of stories about dismembered corpses and such. There's this commercial for St. Ives lotion that plays all the damn time on there. Here's the commercial. What does it sing about? Body parts! That would be perfectly innocent, except for what most of the content of the channel is? Hands, shoulders knees and toes...some in the river, some in concrete. Thighs and heels...in a dumpster. Ankles and elbows...in a bag. You get the idea. If I ever bought that lotion, I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about gory murders.

A long time ago, I talked about how when Trix was new, I would do stupid things like tell my friends to come and heel. Well, I did it again the other day, to the huppy! At least I had half an excuse that day. He was wearing one of those kid leashes and I was holding it. His mom had to go to the ER and didn't know how she'd manage the Huppy too. I said I'd help but he had to wear his little harness dealy. I had to hold onto it when they had a look at her, and I wanted him right beside me. Without thinking I said "heel!" Then I laughed out loud.

The other day, I had it brought home to me how we truly are spoiled by technology. Our internet broke down. That sounds like an odd sentence next to talking about being spoiled, but just wait. I had some things that really needed doing, so Steve and I decided screw waiting for the internet. We'd just go to a restaurant that has free Wifi and get things done. And so...off to the Baker Street Station we went, ate some yummy food, and I clickity typety sent my emails.

Seriously, how cool is that? Years ago, we would have been waiting for our internet. But the other day we just picked up the office and took it elsewhere. When we got our stuff done, we came back home, and hey, would ya look at that? Internet! We really are sitting in a chair in the sky.

I mentioned a while ago that I found myself a dentist. Thankfully I doubt she'll be a scary dentist. She's actually pretty cool. She loves dogs, and after we're done, I take Trix's harness off and let her pet the ol' boodog. By consequence, Trix loves the dentist's office. There's a small part of me that wonders if she enjoys taking me in there because they do things to me in there, not her, but she still gets lots of love. But oh man does she love going to the door. It makes people laugh who see it. I was also relieved that the high pitched noises of the equipment didn't bother her. She just lies still and is a perfect pooch.

And I think that's all I've got for this installment of Carin bores the bejeebers out of readers, then disappears. Get out and enjoy today, it's supposed to be awesome.

I'm Baaack...I Think

So yeah...I haven't posted for nearly two weeks. Definite fail...although failing at blogging seems to be a regular occurrence for me now.

I think, *knocks on wood* that I'm out of the medical woods. I feel better, and bunches of my problems appear to be vanishing. It's funny. I've had this since I was a kid, but only now am I truly learning about its funky intricacies. It appears I have to learn everything by breaking it. But whatever, now I appear to be feeling better, and normal life appears to be within my grasp. This makes me the happy.

Before I forget, the sixth assistance dog blog carnival is up, has been for a couple weeks. Yeah, I fail. Now I have to go read everybody's stuff. Hmmm I'll be busy.

I must be getting close to normal. I'm scrutinizing random oldies songs. the other day, I heard Barbara Mason Yes I'm ready. I wasn't paying attention, and then I heard "I'm ready to learn to fall in love with you." Learn? Excuse me? Learn? If you have to *learn*, you're not falling in love. I don't know what it is you're doing, but it's not that. It sounds like some kind of sick and twisted arranged marriage song. And is it me, or does she sound drunk out of her mind in that song? It sounds like she's had to get totally plastered just to work up the courage to kiss this dude...I wish I could make JAWS slur its words and say "I'm ready...to learn...chugga lugga glugga.

Then I heard Hey Baby They're Playing Our Song and one line stood out to me. "It's the one with the pretty melody." Yeah, that narrows it down. I mean, come on. There's only *one* song with a pretty melody. The rest of those melodies are all discordant and sound like fingernails on a chalkboard. Well...maybe that would fit *now*, but not so much back when this song was made, which according to Wikipedia, was 1967. What a totally stupid line! But then again, oy...there were quite a few in that song.

This also got me thinking about how Please Mister Please won't make any sense to kids anymore. It'll join rotary phones and broken records and all those things that make them stare at us like we're talking a foreign language.

I have two more observations to add to my pile of silly wrestling-related observations. So far we established that I like the way Lilian says John Cina and JBL's old mooing song was the best. Well, now I have more, and I might as well make fun of myself for them.

Steve was watching some old NWA shows with Gordon Solie and Bob Caudle. I walked in, sat down, and didn't say anything for a minute. Then I couldn't contain myself. I had to ask. I knew who Gordon Solie was, but that other guy sounded...just like Johnny Cash! I asked him, and after he finished laughing his ass off at me, said no. That was Bob Caudle. Come on. Can't you just hear this voice saying "My Name Is Sue! How Do You Do! And Now You're Gonna Die!" No? I'm the only one? Ok then.

And one day, Steve was watching some wrestling and John Laurinaitis came on. I listened for a minute and then said "Whenever he talks, he sounds just like Bill MacKendry!" I don't know how to spell Bill's name, because he's only famous at W. Ross, the school for the blind, but I hope someone reading this, besides Steve, both loves wrestling and knows good old Billie. It would be even more awesome if they happened to have a clip of Bill we could put up. Last night, John Laurinaitis said something about Oksanna, and all I could think was "Tanja?..." Again, that'll only make sense to the people who went to W. Ross at the time when Billie was there. But I seriously can't hear this guy talk without hearing Billie's voice behind him yelling "I want a girl!" Am I alone in this?

And speaking of that old school, remember back when I said it was getting sued? Our buddy Shane found the W. Ross lawsuit in all its glory. Yikes. I'm glad I didn't go there during that era. I haven't a doubt in my mind that stuff like that went down...but when I was there, nothing that attrocious ever happened that I know of, except I think there was still the...um...sexual stuff happening between boys. I never knew about it until after when I would hear things. I do have to chuckle that the term "Braille Jail" made it into a legal filing.

The one thing I can't figure out was the repeated references to things being run by the bell and the whistle and being made to line up. Um, regular schools did that too. You had the recess bell, the lunch bell, the bell for each class, the bell at the end of the day. And yeah, we had to line up. That's how they can keep track of everybody. There must be some context I'm missing. I definitely want to hear how this plays out.

There's this commercial that comes on that makes me laugh whenever I hear it, but I have no idea what it's for. All it says is "I just told my boss I'm in bed with a nasty clown. I meant cold! How the hell do you turn off autocorrect?" I get the sense it's for Telus, but how? Do they have easy to access tech support people? guides on all their phones? What? Other people can't seem to get the message either, as google can't give me a definite answer. But everybody's laughing. Anybody know what the commercial's for? Edit: According to this, it's some kind of free Telus learning centre. here, laugh at it yourself.

The other day, I had something odd happen to me when I was out walking. A girl walked up to me and kept saying I'm gonna get one of those soon! I hope I hope hope so!" At first I assumed she was just talking on her cellphone, but something told me no, she's talking to me. She's talking to me and she's talking about a guide dog. So I asked her what school she was applying to, and she said "The CINB." I think she meant CNIB, so I had to tell her the CNIB doesn't have a guide dog school. She then said "I have workers looking into it." At this point my heart sank. I really think a person making this kind of an investment needs to be the primary person doing the research and looking into it. I asked her to come walk with me so we could talk, but she said she was going elsewhere, so I lost the opportunity to maybe talk to her a little bit. But I hope I see her again, and maybe have a better chance next time. I've never had the opportunity to really offer my experience as something to learn from besides what I write up here. I hope to be able to give to someone else what I got from that other handler so many years ago. But something tells me this person might not have been ready for it. Who knows though?

And I think that about wraps it up. I have other ideas for individual posts, but we'll see what happens. I'm so unpredictable these days.

Candy Has Been Found!

Woohoo! It's nice to know, in all this craziness, there's some good news.

Remember Candy? Well, according to the Facebook page, she has been found! Damn but that dog could move. Since she was lost, people saw her from Victoria and Woodlawn all the way to Speedvale and Stevenson area. That'll take off a lot of poundage, believe me! But they eventually got her in a live trap, and she's on her way back to safety. That poor, poor thing.

I'm actually amazed they got her. Holy crap someone was watching out for her.

It's Brain Splatter Time

Well, I might be able to babble a while. That last post was kind of lame.

The other day, Honey by Bobby Goldsboro came on the radio. My memories of that song were that it was a kinda sappy song that made me all sad. But listening to it now, again I notice myself turning into quite the jaded individual. When I heard it again now, I thought gees what a needy woman! I think I'd go mad if I were him! Crying because he wasn't home just at the right time? It sounded like she was more like his kid than his wife for Pete's sake! He really enjoyed having someone so dependent and so...well...kinda dumb? What's wrong with him? I wonder does he miss her, or now can he actually live his life? So is it me, or is it the song? Maybe it's a little bit of both.

Man the huppy's growing up. He can talk in sentences, he can count to at least 5, knows his full name and you can almost have a whole conversation with him. He's always trying to help me, and the other day he tried to tell me my boot had come untied. All he could manage was "Carin! Your brown boots!" But the way he said it I knew he was trying to tell me something. And he was just an itty bitty baby not too long ago. He hasn't even turned 3 yet.

Back a while ago, I mentioned that wicked cold. Well, now it's left a bit of a legacy. I still have a bit of a cough and can't seem to get enough air. But my chest x-ray is clean. I'll be going back to the doctor hopefully Monday so we can try and figure this out. I hope it's an easy fix. Something similar happened to me years ago and all we had to do was change a medicine, so hopefully that's the case this time. It's not a comfortable feeling having to take huge deep breaths just to get a normal amount of oxygen. A couple of times, I've wondered if I should get my buns to the ER. Hopefully it won't come to that.

Here's a commercial I don't get. It's for the cheesy bites pizza from Pizza hut. I can't find it, damn it, but you hear this woman say "I love what you've done to the place." and then you hear the kid say "I told you this would be fun." and then you hear the adults sound like they're about to hurl going, "Yeah, real fun." and then it ends with a guy telling us to make dinner time fun time with the cheesy bites pizza, with 28 fun cheesy-filled bites.

Whaaa?

Even if I don't pay attention to the weird dialog, what's so fun about some cheese on a pizza? And cheesy-filled? Makes me think there's no cheese in there at all. At any rate, I really don't want to try one.

Now on to some Trixter talk. I have discovered she's very picky about her water! Either that, or she just hates the water cooler at work. I would always fill up her bowl, and she would never drink out of it. Then she would come home, tank up like mad, and need extra pee breaks. I thought it probably wasn't healthy for her to drink like that, and Steve thought maybe she didn't like the water out of the cooler. So I started bringing water bottles filled up from the tap from home, and she definitely drinks more of that water than the water cooler stuff. Trix, you're odd. But at least you're not drinking all your water at night.

I've noticed the last little while that if we walk a long way, she will need extra chances to pee than she used to. She used to only maybe pee once, and maybe poop once if we went really long. Now, she pees at least twice mid walk, once at the beginning and once at the end. Is this just an older dog thing? She doesn't seem to need extra relieving times when at rest, but there are definitely more pee breaks on walks.

This winter, or near lack of it, has had Trix all confused. By January, she was acting as if spring had sprung. Silly pooch. I'm sure she was very disappointed when more snow came.

Man, Trix was mad about the new bus locations. Well, it was more that she couldn't go on autopilot after a long walk. She knows where the old bus to go home was. Unfortunately, that's nowhere near where the bus pulls in now. So when I asked her to go to the new location, she pretty much threw a fit! She thought we weren't going home, and she wasn't having it! Ah Trix, you've forgotten. We get on the bus over *here* to go home now.

I don't know what it is, but lately I've had more fears about Trixie retiring. It's a scary thought that she's almost 7, and the average dog's working career lasts until they are 8 or so. So when I see things that are of concern, they really play into my fears. It's probably unnecessary, but I'm a worry wart, it's going to happen.

First there are the wee little things. Stuff like the amount of stretching she does when she gets up. She used to give it one good stretch. Now, she has to stretch one way, then another, then stretch again, and then she's ready to go. That's probably just her getting older, but I notice it. I also notice her doing the full body shake, like she's shaking off water, more often. I've heard that can be a stress thing, and I worry that all this zooming to Kitchener and back is stressing her out, even though I don't think so because I've done my best to keep her actual schedule close to what it was.

Then there are the bigger things. For a while it seemed like she didn't like jumping into the truck with me. As we headed to the elevator, she would walk all slow. I also noticed that sometimes, when navigating my work space, she didn't seem to know what to do. Going around the pole seemed like an impossible task. And once, recently, she got really confused at a complicated intersection and targeted the island in the middle of the road. This floored me because she knows not to hit that island and to go all the way across. I'm hoping that was just a freak occurrence. But other days she is just fine.

Then yesterday, after we had done a big walk downtown, when we set off to Dairy Queen, she fought me all the way. It could have just been that she didn't like to walk in the falling snow and sensed it would get worse, but it scared me.

One day, she stepped on something that bothered her paw. But she didn't lift the paw like she usually does. She dug all four paws in and wouldn't move. I could not for the life of me figure out what was wrong. She wouldn't even heel, and we were headed towards home! It was at this point that I felt panic set in. Was she telling me she was done? Out of desperation, I rubbed each paw, and once I fixed the one that was bothering her, she took off like normal, but I didn't like the way that putting on the brakes made me feel.

Then other days she's awesome. It scares the hell out of me to think that that awful day is looming far sooner than I expected. Hopefully not, but only time will tell. I was hoping Trix could work until she was at least 9 or so. Hopefully I get my wish.

And I think that's all I can think of. I hate to end things on a downer like that, but I'm all out of ideas.

Find Candy, The Lost Cockapoo

Update: She's been found!


On Friday, while reading about all the snow and freezing rain and lack of buses and all that stuff, I saw a disturbing tweet about a recently spayed female cockapoo named Candy that ran away, with flexi-leash still attached, in the Woodlawn and Victoria Road area. Now, for those of you who aren't from here, Woodlawn and Victoria are both very very busy roads. You don't screw around with those.

I guess the poor thing is a rescue, and spooks easily. While the foster family was walking it, something scared the poor thing, and it ran. Of course, the leash is still attached, and it's clanging around behind it, which is making it run even faster. It took off across the road, and apparently was headed in the direction of the Upper Grand District Schoolboard. The poor person can't exactly throw caution to the wind and go after it, so here we are now. Because the flexi-leash is still attached, there's a pretty bad strangulation worry, rightly so. This just screams eek all over the place.

By the sounds of things, it had been rescued from some pretty serious neglect, so is very very shy. So, coming up to it in a hurry probably isn't the best idea. They recommend approaching the pooch facing away from it at a 45 degree angle, and probably with food.

The pooch went missing Thursday night, and according to this facebook page put up to help find her, they still haven't. Hopefully that means someone managed to take her in, and they just have to find that someone.

If you know anything about this poor little dog, contact the Barlee's Angels Rescue Network or the Guelph Humane Society. They know about the search, and will connect dog with the right people. If you live in the area, look in places where a dog might be hiding out...under decks, in sheds or garages, small places where a 30-lb dog could perhaps make themselves as invisible as possible.

It breaks my heart that it's been three days and they still haven't found her. They've been searching every day and still nothing. Help put Candy the cockapoo back in safe hands.

The Guide Dog Obstacle Course

Holy crap where is time going? It's carnival time again. And I was an extra big loser and didn't post the link to the October carnival when it came out. I'll blame having a brand spankin' new job for that little slip-up. Ah well, I'll do better this time.

The subject of this carnival is obstacles. Amazingly, when I saw this topic, I knew instantly what I was going to talk about. Now, the trick is getting it into something comprehensible. I warn you right now, this one is probably going to be long, winding, confusing, and huge.

Something neat they did at GDB for each class was set up an obstacle course that we all had to pass through to get from our dorm to the training buses, or vice versa. The dogs had been through this obstacle course and knew it like the back of their paws, but it was to get used to following your dog and to get to know what it felt like for them to dodge obstacles. But when you think about it, going through the process of getting an assistance dog of any type, and learning how to be a team, is a great big obstacle course, and the obstacles are slightly different for each person. If you're going to make it from contemplating having a service dog to having one and being a seasoned team, you have to navigate the obstacle course that lies between A and B. Let's talk about that course, what it was for me, and what it can possibly look like for others too.

My first obstacle was uncertainty. I'd heard how much people liked having guide dogs and how awesome they were, but I just wasn't sure if I was ready for it all. Could I handle all the responsibility? Even if I could handle the every day things, what on earth would I do if that dog had a huge vet expense? Was I a good enough traveller that a. a school would consider me a good candidate, and b. the pooch would get enough work? I had heard that getting a guide dog was a bit of a gamble because not all teams worked out. Could I handle the heartbreak if it didn't work out? Would I be able to do it again? On the other end, I felt that once I had decided yes, barring the team being a total fail, this dog would be with me for 8 or 9 years. Was I ready to make such a commitment? Then I think about the people who have to pay thousands of dollars for a service dog outright. If I'd had to do that, it would have been game over.

I spent a lot of time in that phase, because I didn't know anybody with a guide dog well enough to just ask them question after question after question. I think this is the reason lots of people stay in that phase, along with the misinformation out there about whether you would need a guide or service dog. For example, I've heard stories of lots of people who are legally, but not totally, blind, walking around thinking they had too much sight to get a guide dog. They would hit things their cane couldn't find or struggle along, all the while saying they had too much vision. Meanwhile, they would probably qualify for, and benefit from, a guide dog.

Or, I hear about people who have a second disability along with the main one that makes them think about a dog getting the idea that they wouldn't be able to manage a dog. In fact, lots of people who have trouble hearing or have bad joints or other disabilities do just fine with a guide dog. It's all about finding the right school and the right help.

Plus, while I was in university, I didn't think I could spend a month in guide dog training because most summers I was taking courses as well. So in a sense, not feeling like I had the time to dedicate to this was another obstacle. When I hear about people getting guide dogs in the middle of a school semester, or getting a guide dog right before heading off to school, and then I see them succeed, I feel like they are a far better person than I am. I personally feel like I need time to digest things, and don't need to be doing course work during my down time at guide dog training, or learning a whole new place as well as how to work with a guide dog. To me, that just sounds like a recipe for disaster. But it works for some, so all the more power to 'em.

But as I was getting close to the end of my degree, I gave it more serious thought. After finally figuring out what questions I needed to ask, I started talking to people. Some of those fears and uncertainties started not to seem like such a big deal.

And then, once I decided to do it, came the difficult task of choosing what schools to apply to. Yeesh. There are so many things to consider. What kind of follow-up do you get? What about help with vet bills if you need it? What is the training like? Can you find grads from each school to talk to? Can you get a general sense from people about what schools have a good reputation and which ones aren't so good? If you get accepted to two schools, what on earth do you do? Do you just take the first class that comes along, or do you decide that you only go to school b if school a doesn't want you? So this wasn't so much an obstacle as it was a slippery spot.

Ok, schools decided. Now comes the application process. Don't get me wrong, all those forms are probably very helpful to the schools, but jeebers hell that alone felt like an obstacle. Plus, depending on what school I applied to, the forms weren't always accessible right off the bat. So, suddenly I had all this material dropped in my lap, and didn't know what to do with it. And not all these forms were to be filled out by me! I had to get doctors, ophthalmologists, and other people to fill some of them out. It was a small obstacle of sorts, but I figure it's worth mentioning.

And it's at this point along the way that you might start finding out how people around you feel about this whole dog thing. Some people might have misgivings about it, for lots of reasons. What if someone you live with or visit is alergic to dogs? How will they, or you, know if your guide dog will cause a reaction? With most people, it's as simple as if they don't touch the dog, they'll be all good, and you might have to make sure the dog doesn't come over and try and make friends with them if you're visiting them. If it's someone you live with, you'll have to start thinking about ways to make things manageable, if that's possible. But all this planning and negotiating could test how ready you are for this lifestyle change. In a way, it's a warm-up for when you come home with the dog and have to start being assertive and say "Yes, this dog can come in your restaurant or store."

The documentation is in, now it's time for the home interview. I hate to call the home interview an obstacle, because they're not out to make it hard for you. But it can delay your progress to having a guide dog because they see things that need work, or they say something that makes you start to rethink the whole thing. You're probably beyond that point once you've gotten here, but hey, anything's possible. So what could they see that could slow things down for you? Sometimes it's your level of ability to travel on your own. Sometimes it's where you're living. Sometimes it's something else. At any rate, if something looks off, that may slow you down, or make you reconsider.

So you make it through the application process and are accepted. You head off to class. You may think it's over, but it is just beginning. Only then do some people truly realize how much work goes into having a guide dog, and that no matter what time of day or night, that guide dog is your responsibility. Sometimes, this can be an obstacle for people who didn't ask enough questions or watch enough teams or whatever. Suddenly, they're back to the uncertainty phase of "Am I really ready for this? Do I want this at all? Maybe I don't mind my cane. My cane doesn't yelp when I fold it in four and throw it in a corner."

So you make it through training and you graduate and come home with your new partner. Unfortunately, for the first little while, life may seem full of obstacles. First, I don't know if this happens to everybody, but I was tired as hell for the first month or two. I felt like my life was completely rearranged, and now I had to think of all these things to do with the dog, and just when would I have time for my normal life again? Of course, that went away once I figured it out, but that can seem like one hell of a trial, if not an obstacle.

On top of that, depending on who you live with and how they are with respecting what you need to do to keep your dog working for you, you may have a battle on your hands. It's even more tiring when you have to fend off people in your own home from feeding your dog things or trying to play with him or her or constantly saying "Do we really have to bring the dog?" Hopefully this won't take too long, but it isn't easy when you're so new and unsure and all that stuff.

If that isn't enough, depending on where you live, you may run into lots of "You can't bring that dog in here!" and you may have to get very good at educating people on the laws in your area. Thankfully, I was very lucky and really didn't deal with a lot of that. But when it happens, it can be stressful.

And then there's the ultimate obstacle...when the team doesn't work out and you have to decide. Do I do this all over again, or do I just go back to life without a dog? Did the good outweigh the bad? If so, what would I do differently next time? I had to do this after Babs didn't work out, and god that was painful. But I think I knew in my heart that when she was showing me the positive aspects of having a dog, I wanted that again.

Sheesh! I think we made it through the obstacle course! I'm sure there are other possibilities I haven't thought of, but those were the ones that came to mind. Please don't think that I'm saying that getting a guide or service dog is more trouble than its worth, or something equally negative. All I'm saying is someone really has to want it to follow it all the way to the end. Plus, sometimes obstacles are a good thing. I have seen lots of people run headlong into getting a dog, crawl through class gripping the dream of having a dog with white knuckles, failing to see the warning signs that maybe this isn't a good idea, and then get coughed out the other end and want to give up at the first little hitch they encounter. Obstacles, despite their negative connotation, give you time to think things through. They make sure that you really want this, or I would hope they do.

And here's a message for all the people who say "Why doesn't x person have a dog?" As you can see from this long, winding post, deciding to pair up with a dog isn't an easy one, and for some, it may not be the right one. At the end of it all, each person has to know whether having a service dog is right for them. We can just hope that people considering it get all the information to help make that decision.

No! Person, down! Good Person!

The other day I came to a realization that I just had to right down.

Ok, everybody who has a dog knows this. If they've been working to train a dog, and the dog's getting the message that a certain behaviour, like counter surfing or picking stuff up off the floor or chewing on stuff that isn't toys, isn't so good. But they'll still try. I always joke that they say "Maybe today it wont' be bad. Maybe today they'll think it's great that I ate that piece of steak or chewed that shoe." When you catch them at it, they look all sad, as if to say "I know better, you told me I wasn't supposed to do that. I was just hopin', you know, a dog can dream, can't they?"

It's always floored me that people, even if they know better, will still try and pet a service dog. When they get told not to, they say "I know," and get all sad. But I think I've figured it out. People who know they shouldn't but do it anyway must feel especially connected to dogs. Why? Their behaviour is exactly like that puppy in training. "Maybe this one won't care. Maybe today it'll be ok. Maybe this one will thank me...oh I've been busted."

I'm not talking about the ones who don't know, or are confused. I'm talking about all the ones who say "I know I'm not supposed to pet you but..."

I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner! As much as it still bugs me, I think now I might have to chuckle to myself next time it happens, as I picture this person as a dog. Maybe one will be a St. Bernard. Maybe one will be a poodle. Please, next time you see me, don't make me imagine you as a dog! If you know better, do the right thing. Always ask to pet a service animal, ok?

Trixie Scoop

I think Trix needs a little bit of chatter. It's been a long time since I've devoted a post just to Trix and only Trix.

Trix got her new tag, or doggy bling as some call it. It's funny. Every year, for a while, she sounds different with her new tag on. I put the old one in the drawer, and gasped. I held in my hand 5 tags. Yes, this April will be five years together. Um, that's just amazing. And she'll be 7 years old. Holy crap.

It dawned on me the other day that when that dreaded time for retirement comes, I probably won't be able to keep Trix because hopefully I'll still have my awesome job. This, although it is awesome, means I won't be around to take care of Trix's needs all day, and I'll probably be too tired to take care of two dogs at night. So, I've actually had to contemplate who would get Trix in retirement. That is a painful thing to think about, kind of like watching your parents and grandparents talk about how their stuff will be divided up after they die. You know they are just being practical, but you just want to plug your ears and go "la la la I don't hear that la la la la." Hopefully this is something I won't have to think about for a long time, but the fact is the average retirement age for a guide dog these days is 8 or so, so since she's turning 7 this year...well...

You know how I said a while ago that Trix likes to go into her new vet? Well, she's gotten a little silly, just like she did near her old vet. Time to step up the treats, even though they give her some too. I guess you just really don't like vets, eh Trixeroo?

But I friggin love this vet. Thanks to a couple of supplements that Trix takes now, she licks herself a lot less, and her skin looks a lot better. Also, on her suggestion of adding a bit of pure pumpkin to her food, her anal glands don't get nearly as full! Plus, this woman connected me with a clinic in Kitchener that isn't far from work, just in case, God forbid, something happens to Trix while I'm in Kitchener. I do not want to be googling out vets during an emergency. That's not how I roll.

And Trix has developed an even bigger hate for the bathing place, which makes me super sad. Last time, she even started shaking. That broke my heart in a million little pieces.

I'll probably still try to go there, and just treat her lots, but thanks to Trix's best bud Ruby's person, I now own a dog-bathing attachment for my own tub, which turns any faucet into the right nozzle for bathing a pooch. Yea! And it looks pretty easy to put on. Double woo! So, if she reeeeally hates that place and it's actually traumatizing her, then at least I have something for home. Plus, there are times when you have to give your pooch a touch-up, like after they've had to lay in icky gross things or after your clumsy friend spills beer all over them.

I guess like us humans have food-related quirks, dogs can have them too. I discovered one with Trix this holiday.

Like I said, she takes a couple of supplements on her food. She takes a fish oil capsule in the morning and powder at night. So, I put out her morning food like normal. She was happily chomping away, when Steve's sister said something weird. "Um, is Trix eating an advill?" I laughed and said no, it was probably her fish oil capsule. She then said that Trix was trying to hide the capsule under the cupboard, so she fed it to her by hand.

This surprised me, since she's never pushed away those capsules and just gobbles them up. Plus, if she doesn't want to eat something, she won't just take it out of your hand, you have to make her take it.

So, the next day, I watched what was going on...and apparently she has to eat some of the food first, and *then* the capsule. But since she had a smaller dish, when she was trying to root around the capsule to eat more food, she knocked it out. Then she tried to track it down, but the more she pushed it, the more it rolled. Poor dog. But who knew she had to eat the capsule only after eating some of the food?

I sent the present off to Trix's raisers. I really hope they like it. After I know they've received it, I can talk about it more. And when we were home at Steve's place, Steve's mom got a potentially really cute picture of Trix. One night, the night the power went off, I guess Trix got really tired but didn't want to go to her bed I had set up in the other room. Under their tree, they have a tree skirt. I guess this looked like a perfect bed to Trix, so she somehow rooted out enough of it so she could lie down, and didn't screw up the tree! So there Trix was, lying under the tree, in the tree skirt. Everybody laughed, so I guess it looked pretty cute. I'll have to wait for that pic since Steve's mom has it on the camera, but when I get it, I'll put it up.

I guess that's all the Trix updates for now. I'll try and do better this year, but no promises. I've become a pretty crumby blogger lately.

Thought Explosions About #SpikeMobileCCC and other things.

Here comes another monster o thoughts. While I'm doing the laundry, I might as well write a blog post.

This whole being out of town part time thing has taught me that I suck at time-management. I was always able to get by since I had lots of flexibility to get stuff done. I didn't get to that today? Oh well I'll do it tomorrow. Now, I have to think ahead to make sure I get everything done on my off days.

Even laundry has become slightly more of a pain since our building has those inaccessible laundry card-filler-uppers. So, if I'm getting low on laundry money, I have to either a. coordinate like hell to be there when the huppy's mom is doing laundry, or b. pray to the lord above that someone will be down there to help me fill the damn card. I'm seriously thinking about rounding up an apartment-sized washer/dryer set. Seriously I am.

Since I don't have as much time/energy to look at Twitter as I did before, I've started organizing the people I follow into lists. As a result, I'm uber behind on the news, people's retweets and random folks I decided to follow. I really need to fix that giant news Twitter hole I've created though. That's just shameful.

And because I'm behind on people's retweets, I didn't notice in enough time that The guys who did Twittereen were at it again, with another contest, Countdown2Christmas.

I suck, and have missed out on two days of the contest, but I don't care. I'm still going to try. I mean, look at the prizes! They wrote 'em out. Yeah yeah yeah I would like a leak-proof travel mug and a Timmy's card. Sure I would.

So wish me good luck in what's left of this here contest, There aren't any iThings, but the contest is still cool.

Edit: looks like I didn't need the luck, since before I posted this, I won the prize I wanted. Yea! Gimme gimme gimme my Timmy Timmy Timmy's stuff!

Another sign that I obviously don't have this whole time-management thing down: I didn't get a happy birthday Steve post up like I try to do. Failbox! Well I guess I did pay for his dinner at Smokin' Tony's. Maybe that makes up for it.

By the way...Smokin' Tony's? Om nom nom! Check out their menu. They really give you a lot of food, and it's good. Mmm sweet potato casserole! When I first walked in I was afraid you could only take your food and go...but then I remembered. They serve beer, they must intend for people to sit down. And they did, and they were great.

Even though Steve and I are doing Christmas together, we figured for the sake of not lugging each other's gifts on the road, we'd exchange our gifts on Steve's birthday. That's probably a good idea, since I can't keep a secret at all. Out of the 6 things I got Steve, he knew what 3 of them were, and had guessed at a fourth. It kind of kills the surprise element when he knew what half the stuff was already. And he didn't snoop, it's because I can't keep a secret worth a damn...and an email came in which had the name of one of his gifts in the subject line..which just happened to read as he walked in the room. Damn JAWS, ya busted me. can't win for losin'.

But I'm happy to say that I own all the Austin Lounge Lizards CD's to date, and their concert DVD! Oooo that one's gonna be fun! Will have to review those when I get some time...so considering my big pile of comments about my lack of ability to time-manage...could be a while.

It is really hard to believe it's Christmas. I'm happy there's no snow, but it's hard to remember to wish people a merry Christmas and stuff when I'm not trompling through the snow. Christmas is going to be here and gone before I know what hit me.

And I think I've found the song that is as irritating to me as it's the most wonderful time of the year is to Steve. It's Do They Know It's Christmas.
I know it was a song raising money for people in Africa, but the line about "Do they know it's Christmas time" kinda bugs me. Maybe they don't care. What if they celebrate something else? And don't they need the money the rest of the year too? I don't know, there's something about that song that bugs me.

So they're starting a Go Train service out of Guelph. Right now it's designed to shuttle people to Toronto, but I hope some day it will go to Kitchener, giving me more options for travel to my awesome job. But as a preview, they gave everyone a free trip to Kitchener, and because a friend was also going, she asked me if I wanted to. Sure, what the heck!

So we headed for the train. She's a far bigger Go guru (goru?) than I am, so told me all about the accessible car, and how if I'm going to take the train, I'd be best to get on there. For one, there's always a person there watching for folks. For another, it always pulls up in the same spot, and third, it opens at every stop! Yup, sounds like a deal to me.

We got on, and actually got to talk to our MPP Liz Sandals. She was surprised that the bus service from Guelph to KW had deteriorated so badly. We talked for a little while to her about how awesome this whole Go service thing would be, because really it's the only truly accessible public transit service there is for folks in wheelchairs. Greyhound? Yeah right. Via? pfffft! Go Bus? Maybe if the drivers remember to do the fancy dancin' with a strip of seats. But with Go Trains, it's cool. A ramp comes out to close the gap between platform and train, and folks in wheelchairs just wheely wheely wheel onboard, and there's an area that's designated as accessible seating...although women with strollers think that means they're entitled, even though there are seniors with walkers and people with wheelchairs in plain sight. May you develop a disability making that seat necessary for you later in life and encounter a stroller-wheeling woman just like you. That is all. But the point is Go is really the only way to go for folks in wheelchairs, so let's start Go-ing in more directions.

The trip was wicked fast, like 20 minutes. Yup, I could deal with that. It's too bad poor Go got stuck behind a broken down freight train, which delayed their exit by an hour. But the trip itself was pretty cool.

In this rambling winding post of crazy, I have to give two gigantic woo's to a couple of folks in a couple of businesses. Let's start with Portions Canada. I heard about them through Twitter, the way I seem to hear about most things these days, and they were talking about having gluten-free food and prepared meals for folks with diabetes and stuff. I knew the shoe thief was kind of run ragged by a bunch of stuff, so I decided to get him a couple of frozen meals and some cookies. So off I went on a crazy adventure.

Can I say again that Google Transit is the worst thing known to man? Unless I'm an epic fail at using it, it always tells me the exactly wrong bus to get on to get to a given destination. I saw a link to it on the Portions Canada's Google map, so I thought I'd try it. "Take the 1 Woodlawn," it said. So I called Guelph Transit to get more details, and their response? "Um? 1 Woodlawn? To get there? Um, erm, not even close! You have to take the 22!"

But that's beside the point. I just couldn't miss the opportunity to rag on Google Transit. After going on a wild adventure through the city, being dumped on a giant grassy sidewalkless zone and being escorted across a busy parking lot to the store, the people *in* the store were nothing short of awesome. They told me next time, just call before I come and they'll come meet me at the bus stop! Not only that, but they went through things until I found the perfect combo of stuff. And to top it off, they delivered it to the shoe thief for me! Like, um, holy crap?

So if you're in the market for gluten-free goodies, stuff for folks with Diabetes or kidney disease, and I'm sure lots of other things, pop in there and see what you will find. But I have learned that if you're alergic to garlic, you should definitely not pop in there. All their meals and stuff have garlic in 'em. Ah well, how else are you going to flavour it without salt?

I have to also give a gigantic thankya to a very cool employee at Wind Mobile. Long story time. I have a blind friend who has been searching for a phone that he could at least possibly operate a little bit. Every phone he gets, he has been promised it talks, but all it has is voice recognition, i.e. "please say a command." That works to an extent, but you can't enter your own contacts, or operate most of the phone's functions. So, eventually, in frustration, he asked me to go with him to the store to see what we could see.

I first went in hoping they had something that could have the Nokia Screen Reader installed on it. I know it's free and kind of preliminary, but CodeFactory had their hand in it, I thought it would get us by. But they had nothing that would take that screen reader. So the woman from Wind Mobile toiled, talked to Samsung tech support, and twisted that phone into halfway working to the point that he might be able to at least get to voice command on his own.

This was no easy feat, but she did it. Not only that, but she taught me a few things about his phone, so I could continue helping him. Adrien from Wind Mobile in Old Quebec Street Mall in Guelph, you are the most awesome of awesome, and we appreciate all your hard work. Thanks to you, I was able to show him a couple more things. You deserve to get promoted yesterday.

You know, I have been buzzed by several colds and flus, and as each one zooms by, I thank my lucky stars. I did not want to be sick and need time off when I'm just starting work. But now, just before Christmas, I've got this wicked cough. Sometimes, when I cough, I sound like I'm pulling a Carl Barron. I can't find a damn clip of him doing it, but maybe others have heard him do that bit with the loud dry sounding cough. I'm hoping to beat it into submission before Friday when we head for Steve's family.

This got me to thinking. Why is it perfectly ok to come home for Christmas with your own family when you have a cold, but if you're going to someone else's family, that's just wrong? Why is it ok to infect your own family? Yup, we're weird.

I've been told by several people that Trixie has a lot more white around her muzzle. Um, eek? I don't like the physical reminders that she is getting older. I know she's still young, but well, it's just another reminder, like the pile of her city tags in the drawer, that time marches on.

I'm making a little something for Trixie's raisers this Christmas. I still don't know if they read here, so can't say what it is yet, but I hope they enjoy it. It'll have to arrive late this year, because I lost their address in the hard drive crash of doom in May, and I've emailed them but haven't heard back yet.

I got some very sad news yesterday. Don't worry, noone died, but it kind of feels like someone did. I just found out that the Fresh at Home program has suddenly been discontinued. You know what that means? No more easy to get local and awesome food. It's back to the grocery store for us, which is one big boo. It was cool that it was delivered, but the cooler part was how amazing it was. It truly was amazing. I don't know what happened to it, but one day, there was a program and the next it was gondo. It makes Steve and I very sad pandas.

And I think this monster has gone for quite long enough. I should be snoring, 6 a.m. comes early. So...I will post, fall down, and finish the thoughts I had left over in another post. Yes, I have more, and other posts that need a place up here. But I have to stop or I'll be no good to anyone tomorrow.

Sploosh Splosh Swimmin' In A Thought Pool

It's random thought splatter time. Put on your rubber boots, this thought puddle's a doozer.

Like every year, I have to get my silly Christmas shopping talk in there. When December started, I was flipping out, I'd hardly bought anything, and it was...what was Steve's word? De-fucking-cember? I can't find it, but ya know. Anyway, in one whirlwind trip around the mall, thanks to Steve's mom, I had nearly everything bought. I'm on the hunt for a couple things, but for the most part, I'm all set.

But one crappy side-effect of that is I noticed just how much money I was spending. It was so bad that my brain was envisioning trails of money being left in my wake. But really I'm not that nuts. It just feels that way because I don't usually luck out that huge/do it all at once.

Maybe the reason I was done so fast is I bought a lot of gift cards this year. But I tried to pick ones from stores that I thought the recipients would like. But one particularly hard gift card to get was the Red Lobster one. I'm pretty sure the person who I bought it for doesn't read here, but if they do, well, there goes the element of surprise.

I went to Red Lobster's website, and got all excited. They had gift cards! Then I was stopped dead in my tracks by the fact that the "state/province" box only had states in it. Grrr!

So, I called the closest restaurant, which was in Kitchener, and I was told that the site didn't sell them to Canada, you had to come to the restaurant. Um, not gonna happen.

Luckily for me, I have smart friends on Twitter *coughcough* @MELISSAandRUBY *coughcough*. She linked me to the FAQ that told me where I could call and order a card...which I did. I'm still waiting for it to arrive, but it's been ordered.

We're starting our new traddition of spending Christmas together. This year, we're off to Steve's family. It should be an interesting experience going to 4 or something Christmas thingamabobs so close together. But it'll be so nice to spend Christmas together.

Remember back when I talked about the person I picked to donate to his Movember campaign? Well, who knew I'd end up getting thanked for it? He made a cheesecake, brought it in and said everybody who donated to him would be guaranteed a piece. How awesome is that? Damn it was a good cheesecake, and I needed it that morning since I didn't sleep worth shit the night before.

If anyone's curious, I'm making huuuuge progress getting around our new floor. That whole reference points from upstairs plan kinda got blown straight to hell since it's shaped just differently enough that I don't make the connection. But that's ok, I'm figuring it out. Thanks to my coworkers being extremely patient, and repeatedly pointing out the same landmarks, it started to click. In fact, on Thursday, I zooped around the second floor with very little help.

Trix puts me to shame. She had the damn place mastered in a day. I took about four days before things started to happen. But they're happening, so that's all that matters.

Our new floor is apparently gorgeous. It definitely has some very cool things about it. One thing I have to get used to, though, is that there's no sink nearby for me to dump Trix's water. But I have learned that there's usually a solution to every common problem, and I now own a pretty spill-proof water bowl. This means I can carry it from my desk to the bathroom, probably sloshing all the way, and not spill. Yeah!

But the process of learning a new floor has made me quite fascinated with my own brain. I have noticed that in the beginning stages of learning a place, I am incapable of noticing random details that usually end up being helpful. I'm so focused on listening to where I'm supposed to turn that I notice nothing else.

Then, gradually, I will notice things like the colour of a wall, the way a certain hallway feels, or the smell of coffee. But all these obvious details went completely unnoticed until I reached a certain point in my learning. It's so bizarre.

But I'm really disturbed by the flipside of all this new learning. I am noticing that more and more, I am getting lost in familiar areas. I'm making stupid mistakes, turning too soon, and once, I crossed a street, then turned and crossed the other way when I only intended to cross one way. The scary part about this is I have no conscious memory of making the second crossing. This is my memory of events the other day: walk up to pedestrian pole, push button to cross street, cross, continue to bus stop...bus stop? Hey? Bus stop? Where are you? They don't just tear down a shelter...or do they?

What really happened was after I crossed the first time, I turned and crossed the other way. I did it safely, but I have no memory of doing this and had to deduce what I had done based on playing that old hotter colder game with Trix where she goes faster as we approach familiar areas. This scared me so bad that I nearly stopped, pulled out my phone and scheduled an appointment to see my doctor because I wondered if I may have had some kind of bizarre seizure.

I'm starting to think that no, my brain has just been so busy absorbing so much knowledge that something had to give. I know that as it adapts, I will stop having these brain burps. But if I don't, the doc and I are going to have a long talk. Crossing streets and having no memory of doing so could get me and/or Trix killed, and I don't want to die anytime soon.

And I'm sad to report that my hopes of reviving my GPS didn't pan out so well. I got the new part, it was the right part, but it has the same sloppy connection problem the other one does...so I can only think that maybe something bent in the actual unit. I'm not going to give up until I have to. I might bring it to work and let someone who is the right kind of genius have a boo at it. There are enough different kinds of geniuses around there, someone might have an idea or six.

I watched the dumbest movie ever. If someone comes up to you and says "Let's watch 'The Happening'," tell them you'd rather not waste an hour and a half or so of your life. Believe me, watching that movie is...just dumb.

Ok, the premise is that this weird toxen is circulating through the air that's causing people to find funky ways to kill themselves. Freaky idea, but well, the ending totally suuucks. It couldn't be any more anticlimactic. And along the way, you could put a jeep down some of the plot holes in this movie. Oy. Just...why?

But I have run into a whole pack of people this weekend that have made me wonder if instead of there being a toxen out there turning people suicidal, there's one out there stealing people's ability to think...at all.

Let's back up to a couple of days ago. I went into the liquor store to pick up a gift card there. The woman who served me, after seeing someone show me to the counter, pointed at the gift cards. "We have that one, or that one, or that one." I had to tell her that I couldn't see anything, so she'd have to tell me what she was pointing at. Then, she proceeded to freak out, wondering how to put through a gift card. A manager had to walk her through every step of the process. In a final move of duh, she nearly swiped my gift card, which would have probably used it up before I'd even paid for it. Thankfully the supervisor stopped her.

Ok, whatever, a frazzled worker at a store. No big deal, right? Let's move on to yesterday. Trix needed another bath. For some reason her skin and coat got really oily really fast. I don't know if fish oil will do that or what. Since it was so cold out, I took a cab from the bathing place since I didn't want her to stand out in the cold, and even if I put a coat on her, it was her face I was worried about.

So, I paid debit for the cab. He swiped the card, pushed some buttons and waited. I asked him please give me the pin pad. "No," he says, "It's just waiting to go through." Um, hello? I need to specify the account and, um, enter my PIN. It took me a couple of attempts to get him to look at the screen, realize that I did in fact have to press some buttons, and give me the damn pad.

"Yeah," you say, "Whatever. Maybe he'd had a long day." But the parade continued this morning. I went to that Tim Hortons I talked about a little while ago. I had a craving for apple cider, so decided to get Steve and I some breakfast sandwiches and drinks. I arrived, and started to make my order. Before I finished, the girl started madly calling for a manager. I don't even know why. I think she thought they didn't sell cider or something. When someone could finally convince her that they did, she then said "Is that everything?" I asked her what she had heard, and basically she said nothing. So, how could that be everything if she doesn't remember a damn thing I ordered?

I went to pay with debit, since I can now, put the card in and punched the buttons. She then said she couldn't figure out if it had worked or not. She had to call someone over, and neither of them could figure it out. I had to actually call my bank and check that it had gone through.

Whatever, it's a new Tim's, they're a little frazzled. But while I was in the same store, a woman was very kind and offered to help me with my stuff. I told her what I had ordered and she handed me a bag and said that's everything. I said I had ordered a few sandwiches and a couple of drinks. She said "Yup." I knew the drinks weren't there because I didn't have a tray. Finally someone pointed out that the drinks were still sitting on the counter. She then said "Oh, I thought they were in the bag!" Um, what would have happened if they put the drinks in the bag with other things? They would have fallen over! Gaaaa!

The stupid virus wasn't confined to Guelph. I came home to my email, and found an email saying that a person had left a comment on this post about a USB stick. Just look at my first comment, and then Lilly's. Hello, did you actually think I was being completely serious? For real?

I ventured back out, and the stupid continued. As I was crossing the street, someone shot by and said "Is your dog doing better?" Huh? What is she even talking about? And why not stay around for the answer? Another person asked me what all Trix does for me, and then said "I have to run." Asking me what Trix does is a pretty complicated question. If you don't have the time, don't ask the question.

As I tried to find a place I'd never found before, I ran into a guy and thought I'd ask him. I was standing at the corner of two streets, let's call them Smith and Jones. I was looking for something on Jones. I asked him about the place, and said it was on Jones. His response? "I don't even know where Jones Street is." Uh, chief, take a gander at that there sign. He did, and still didn't know, so walked up to a woman and asked her where the place was. The response she gave him was a shriek that sounded like the woman a. didn't understand English and/or b. thought this man was out to rob or rape her. Instead of realizing this woman was not going to be of any help, he pressed on! I had to persuade him to leave her be, she was confused, and seemed scared.

At last, I was about to get on the bus and get home, hoping I wouldn't breathe in the stupid gas and start doing dumb things. An older fellow walked up to me and this is all he said. "Do you remember my voice? I met you on the bus." Well...that narrows it down in a hurry. He then told me he helped me find some place where an old theatre used to be. I still have no idea to what he was referring, nor do I remember him.

Ack. That is just too much weird in two days. I know if I show up at work tomorrow and people are acting stupid, I have something to fear.

I think that's about it for now. Hope you enjoyed the trip across my river of thoughts.

It's The Occupy VC Cast

Update: The audio hasn't worked for a while here. Thank you Blind File Sharing for hosing us. So now, for all things cast, pop on over to our new site. There, you'll find audio that works!

Well, it is here. The Occupy VC Cast, the Occucast, whatever you want to call it, it's here...and it's about to occupy about 2 hours of your time. It would be awesome if you found it 99% funny.

We divided it into 4 parts. It would have been only 3, but well, ya see, I'm a giant moron and caused us to need to make a bonus part.

Part one lasts for about 25 minutes or so. In it, we spend some time on the whole Occupy VC thing, and how the Occupy movement has invaded my subconscious, because when I hear 1% or 99% from the computer as it's loading something, I immediately think of Occupy-related stuff. We mention Lunchupguelph, and ramble a while about the work Christmas party we went to, some about the odd weather, the Baker Street Station, and then we set off on our first major rant. Steve got very creative in making fun of the reasons people come up with for petting guide dogs when they know they shouldn't, and Trix got excited by his silly tone. I also did my best to describe the drink I tried at Baker Street Station, man that was awesome. Then after Steve talked in a funny voice, a joke next to noone will get, we brought this part of things to a sudden end.

In part two, which lasts about 42 minutes, Steve made me a drink and we talked about its ability to smack me around six ways from Sunday. We also talked about how Steve knows what drinks I'd like and has a pretty good track record. the story of the recent time where one of our Twitter buddies jokingly called Steve a douchebag came up, as well as the fact that someone seriously calls themselves Magnificent Douchebag as their Twitter name. We asked a question about something someone said who has gone lots of times to the Occupy Toronto movement, and Steve scared the hell out of me by mentioning this video. We lament the fact that BlindFileSharing's front end went splat, cutting off access to the files. Other topics talked about are the Occupy Movement's biggest curse, the stupidity of news media working people into a frenzy over nothing, Black Friday insanity, The mumbly new Tim Horton's slogan and general suckiness of Tim Hortons commercials, especially the use of the words "whipped topping". And before we break again, Steve talks about how much he loves the Grey Cup finals, and a few recent Grey Cup party memories.

And then, we really get silly in Part three, which goes about 50 minutes. This was the other half of our inspiration for audio. The story goes that the police in our area step up their efforts to watch out for impaired drivers. So, they pull everybody over on a stretch of road, ask them if they've had anything to drink, and if they think they have, they test them and deal with them. This is called the RIDE program (Reduce Impaired Driving Everywhere). But at Christmas, they call it the festive RIDE program. This always gave us an image of singing cops jingling bells and being full of jolly cheer while making people walk the line and blow into the breathalizer. We then wondered what sort of songs they would sing at the festive RIDE program...and that's what we spend the majority of the time doing. Part of the way through, I suddenly realize we need bells, and go off in search of something that would serve as bells. Since I can't find them, we have to settle for jingling our keys. At the very end, we wrap up by laughing at someone for thinking the Foo Fighters were called the Food Fighters, and there's a little joke in there for a fellow known on Twitter as @thedangillis.

And just when you think it's over, we make Part four, all because I found those pesky bells! This one only goes about 4 minutes or so.

We had a lot of fun doing this audio, so I hope you enjoy. Here's Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and finally, Part 4.

Enjoy, or something.

Robo...Dog?

I saw this a while ago, and have been meaning to write about it.

Some japanese scientists have invented a robotic guide dog. What I don't get about this is they say they invented it due to the rapidly aging population. So...there aren't enough guide dogs to go around? Is that the reason? Why would a robot be more useful due to the rapidly aging population?

For some reason I find it weird that they made a robotic dog, especially since they gave it a synthetic female voice. Why make it a dog at that point?

And aren't you just swapping one set of problems for another? Sure dogs get sick and have injuries and off days, but robots can run out of battery power, and wouldn't it suck if your guide bot ran out of juice in the middle of the street? Or what if one of the sensors designed to detect things failed? The difference between real dogs and machines is real dogs have a desire for self-preservation.

I don't know about you, but I think I'll stick with the living breathing guide dog.

Observations, Updates, And Other Goofiness

Here comes another giant pile of thoughts.

The other day, the oldies radio station was on and The Poppy Family That's Where I Went Wrong came on. And, unbidden, my only thought that came out loud and clear was "oh that poor bus stranger!" At that point I just started laughing. I didn't feel one bit of pity for the woman in the song...I just wanted her to shut up. Yes, go to sleep and forget him for a while. Then maybe that poor fellow who randomly selected the seat beside her can get some peace for god's sake!

Maybe that's because I've been that poor bus stranger, and we probably all have. You sit down, someone plunks beside you, and suddenly you hear their every tale of woe they have. Don't get me wrong, I've had lots of awesome conversations with seat mates on buses. But sometimes, oh lordy. I don't remember if I ever wrote about the time I had to pretty much babysit a fellow passenger, but that was an instance of me being a poor bus stranger. I was glad I did it, but oh man. I think experiences like that turned that song on its head for me. The thing is I've thought it I don't know how many times on a subconscious level, but this week, it came out loud and clear.

For some reason, one day I said something to Steve about "way down yonder in the Paw-paw patch." Then I immediately wondered "what the heck's a paw-paw? I guess it's a kind of apple, but it's funny how we just sing stuff and have no idea where it came from.

Last Wednesday I had an, um, interesting afternoon. Apparently my parking lot at work can get pretty ugly as hell in the winter, so the guy who drives me to work thought it would be good to get one of those accessible parking passes. At first I wasn't sure if I felt right about it since I thought most people who use them have actual physical injuries or lung problems that prevent them from physically walking from A to B. But now that I think about it, knowing we could always park in the same spot would mean it would help my orientation. I could probably walk from car to door on my own, which would be pretty awesome. Plus, it would reduce the amount of time I'd be mucking around in the parking lot amid people who potentially aren't the best drivers in the world.

So I decided to get one, and I have learned one thing for sure. The doctors I asked about this thing had no clue about it. I had to see the doctor I'm a not so huge fan of, and he scribbled down a note and told me to take it to City Hall. City Hall? How about no? This is done by the province I'm pretty sure. At that point he said he hadn't a clue how it worked.

So I went to a new walk-in clinic we have, which makes me happy as hell that we have another clinic, and it's being well-used. But the doctor there couldnt' figure out what category I fit under, even though there's a box for visual acuity. That'd be me. But he did the form, and all is right with the world. I have a pass, and will have a permanent one soon.

But that afternoon's travels were full of crazy loopy things that kept happening to me. First up, as I entered the clinic, I ran smack into a chick who was desperately afraid of dogs. I mean she started hyperventilating and totally freaking out. I felt horrible because I had nowhere to go. We were squished into a tiny space between two doors.

But she made me roll my eyes when I was finished at the clinic and went to leave. She was still there, and sat right by the door, ya know, the exit door. So as I approached it, she started freaking out again! Hello lady, I have to go that way. If you're so afraid of dogs, move the hell away from the door! You've been warned!

On my way down to the clinic, Trix had to go poop. I picked it up, but had no idea where a garbage can was. So there I was with a bag of poop in my pocket. Total suck. But I had to chuckle as kid after kid was rushed into the bathroom at the clinic. I think the parents thought *their* kids were causing the stench! Although I was embarrassed about having a bag of dog doo, I couldn't help but snicker.

And in my final piece of adventures from that day, I went into the grocery store in that plaza. It used to be called Price Chopper, now it's Fresh Co. Whatever. I went in to buy two things. Seriously, two items. The girl helped me, and then said she talked to her manager and her manager said I really should call ahead if I'm going to want help.

I'm sorry, did I have a list as long as my arm? No. I wanted to buy two items. I do not think I have to call ahead for something that small. Hell, I pick up more things at a convenience store than that. I would totally call ahead if I was getting a whole heap of things and needed an escort around the store. But two things? Seriously?

They have kind of been difficult from time to time, constantly asking "are you done yet?" when I've had 4 things on my list, but this was pretty offensive. In future, I'll probably just avoid that store. If I'm such a burden, they can do without my business.

But on a happier note, there's a Tim Hortons that opened up pretty close to our house. Oh baby. I see danger on the horizon. Resist the urge for Timmie's! The girl was really nice there, although when I said I was blind and couldn't find the Tim's, she didn't think I literally meant blind. Oh boy, she's going to have stories when she gets home. I kind of feel bad for getting a little annoyed with her, but there were no pedestrians on that stretch of sidewalk, so I called the place, told her I was blind and her immediate response was "Well can't you see the sign?" Poor girl, she felt really sheepish after that. So the moral of the story, people, is never assume the person telling you they're blind is speaking in metaphor. Chances are they *are* blind. Or do more people just say "I'm blind" when they say they're lost? Am I just oblivious?

And in another piece of happy news, my ailing Trekker is on its way back to the land of the living!

Here's the scoop. I finally went to a store that had the means to voltage test the charger. Then, to my shock and horror, they said the charger was fine. We eventually deduced that it was that piece on the end of the splitter that started breaking so long ago. So, because of that series of things, and the three-way splitter mess, I was hesitant to call up Humanware and ask for any more parts. So I tried charging the PDA using my sync cable. But because the battery had drained so low, when it asked for power, my computer said it was asking for too much power and would not allow. It did this on a couple of machines. At least I'm hoping that's what the problem is.

Well, with the buses completely changing routes in January, I was getting desperate. I've come to realize that that piece is likely only sold by Humanware. So I bought a new one. But it wasn't $60 like the guy claimed, it was $35. You'd think sales reps in Humanware could get their facts straight. Let's hope when it arrives, it's the right part. But if it is, at the end of the day, my Trekker should be back in business.

I think that's about it for now at least in this post. I have other ideas that's for sure.

Weekend Audio: Lunchless Lunches, Shattered Bowls And Talking Beer Koozies

At longish last, audio is back!

This piece should have gone up last week, but due to the small matter of it not being recorded until right now, that didn't happen.

On this here 18.5 minute adventure into something or other, we touch on such topics as the good and bad of the #LunchUpGuelph event Carin went to today, why you should never, ever break anything made by Corelle and my talking Maple Leafs beer koozie with Joe Bowen's voice on it that was the main reason for recording this thing. Yes RO, you finally get to hear it. There's also a bit of Trixie, who plays some tug, runs around a bit and gets quite interested in the microphone.

If this sounds interesting or if you're the type to listen to stuff just because it's here, have at it.

And when you're done having at it, enjoy game 7 tonight. Even if you don't like baseball, you maybe should watch. Last night's game was one of the best games I've ever seen, the kind of game that makes fans out of people who never gave a damn about baseball before.

Amanda may hate me for this, but I'm going with the Cards. their run has been amazing and for some reason I'd kind of like to see them win. On second thought, Amanda may love me considering how well some of my previous baseball predictions have gone.

Whatever happens, I'll be watching and hoping for another fun one. Back and forths are great when you have no true cheering interest.