The Answer Is At His Fingertips.

We're just full of lessons today. This one comes courtesy of Ismael Ortiz. wearing gloves will help to conceal fingerprints only if you leave the scene with all your fingers. Ortiz was hired to burn down a guy's house so he could collect on insurance. But in his haste to get the hell out, he slammed his finger in the door, cutting off his fingertip. Fire officials found the amputated tip, and police found Ortiz at the hospital. Like the story of Cinderella and the glass slipper, they matched tip to finger, and voila, they had their man. That was easy.

Spark Of Stupidity

Here's another lesson, only this time, the dumbass teaching it has a name. Courtesy of Gary Lee Albertson, we learn that tires are not just for decoration. If you are towing a truck home that has no tires, and it's dragging on the road, that will cause sparks, and enough sparks can cause fires. In this case, four fires were caused, one of them heavily damaging a home.

I don't know how you get a truck home that has no tires, but dragging it along the road is not the way.

Car Fire, Car Fire, Na Na Na Na Na, Na!

Theme song time.

Here's a very explosive lesson, taught by two unnamed males and an unnamed female in Bellevue. It is not at all safe to pour gas directly into your carburetor via a water bottle while you are driving. Yes, you read that correctly. It's also not safe to keep the remainder of your gas in an open bucket. If you do, your car will explode, and all three occupants will become flaming, writhing, screaming humans.

The three Bellevue residents inside the van picked up two gallons of gas from a station in Factoria only a few minutes before the explosion, Bellevue police said.

They didn't have a gas can, so they kept it in an open bucket. The engine cowling, which is located between the two front seats of the van, had been removed. They used a water bottle to transfer gas from the bucket directly into the carburetor to keep the engine running as they drove east on Kamber Road.

The vehicle stalled right before it reached 145th Place Southeast. When the driver attempted to restart it, it exploded.

Um, didn't anyone learn anything about gas, flames, and the *combustion* engine? Helloooo. I'm sure, when they recounted this little tale to hospital staff and police, everyone rolled their eyes in complete dismay.

But it wasn't over for the three flaming humans. After they fled from the car, it continued to move, running over the girl's leg. One of them, by some feat, made it to a nearby gas station and threw water on himself.

Fools, all of 'em!

The 1950's Called. They Want Their Segregation Policies Back.

Oh boy. I sort of understand what they're going for, but I still don't like it. I envision a very slippery slope, and I don't trust humanity to avoid it.

In Lancaster, PA, they've seen that having role models helps kids do better. So, at one high school, they're going to separate some of them by race and gender and put them with a teacher of the same race/gender. What's really weird is the NAACP is behind them. Whaaat?

I understand the role model thing. But I think those should just be around. You shouldn't have your role models decided for you. And if you need someone of the same race/gender being your home room teacher, do you need one of the same race/gender teaching you every subject? How long until, in the name of having role models, school districts decide you need your own schools and that's where you have to go, and it's for your own good? Just how long? We've done the "Separate but equal" crap before. It didn't work.

Man we humans are stupid.

On Facebook

I forget how this all started on Twitter, but we got talking about relationship statuses. Then James sent me this gem of a song. It really made me chuckle, because I could think of a couple people who would listen to that song and sympathize.

So first we had songs about people's moms joining their Facebook, and now this one.

A Heapin' Helpin' Of Babble

Enough chomp chomp chomping for now. Let's just ramble. I haven't rambled in a little bit.

I had a weird thing happen to me yesterday. I went to the drug store to pick something up, and a girl that usually helps me out said "So, you're here for something for your eye?" My eye? No. I was here to get milk and things. I asked her why I would be here for my eye, and she said that almost the entire white of my right eye was bright red, and it was quite noticeable. Herm. That's weird, since I didn't feel a thing.

Thinking it was just a temporary thing, I asked the huppy's mom later if my right eye looked funny, and she said that it looked like someone took a red marker and drew all around the inside of my right eye. Eek. A kid was nearby and decided he would play doctor. He told me it was probably just a broken blood vessel, and it would go away on its own. Hmmm. I guess he's had a few of those in his day. I thought that was rather cute.

But now that she's said something, when I feel anything at all, I wonder what that is. If the other eye itches, I get really twitchy.

It's times like this that I wish I could see, just so I could look in a mirror and survey things. As it is now, I have to ask people. "What does my eye look like?" It is bugging me a little more, but I have to wonder if a big part of that is psychological. At any rate, I think I'm going to be calling my doctor tomorrow morning to see when I can get in to get her to have a boo at the ol' peepers.

Let's see. Trix updates. You know how I was worried about her weirdness around open stairs and her tendancy to yeep? Well, when we were home, she wouldn't play tug at all. When we got back here, she continued to not play tug. This worried me, because Trix loooves to play tug. But then I started to think maybe she felt she couldn't get a good grip on some of her old toys to play tug or something. So I bought her a new one, and she went nuts. But now, yet again, she's less keen than usual about this whole tug thing. I'll have to keep an eye on that. She seems to be fine walking around working, but I wonder about the tug thing. I also wonder about this new trend where she does not want to sit in the elevator. She'll willingly sit just on her own in the apartment, but in the elevator she's always trying to stand up again. It's times like these where you wonder what is behavioural and what is physical? I can't sort out a pattern.

She got a new tag. Now I just have to get the old tag off. I don't know why I'm such a tard with figuring out how to work little key rings, but I profoundly suck at it. If someone could show me a trick, I would love them forever. The vet folks usually put the new one on and take the old one off, but for some reason the tech thought I needed help putting the harness back on. This is nothing new. But she left the old tag on, and I can't for the life of me get it off.

Oh yeah, and vet techs, if I owe you money, don't let me walk out without at least asking me when I'm going to pay. I had a credit because I was overcharged for a service. I had been using it up. When I brought Trix in to get her anal glands expressed and her nails trimmed, I asked the girl at the desk if I owed money, or if I still had credit. She just muttered something about "$9 left." So, when they brought Trix back and I headed for the door, and she made no comment, I figured that meant I had $9 left of my credit. They have the file, not me. I had a hard time figuring how that could be possible, but what do I know?

Then a couple of weeks later, I get an invoice saying I owe $9. Well jeebers woman, speak up! I would have paid it! Oh well, whatever. As long as they don't tack on interest or anything silly. They said I could just pay it when I came in for whatever I came in for next. Maybe I'll have to come in if this tug thing continues to worry me.

Like I've mentioned a couple of times before, I'm working with the Guelph Barrier Free Committees researching recreational opportunities for people with disabilities. That means me and the phone are becoming good buds. It also means that I talk to a lot of interesting people, of all kinds.

I feel bad that in just asking if a leader of a given activity considers their activity to be accessible, I give some folks what sounds like a minor panic attack. I think I manage to calm lots of them down by the end, but I hate to watch them panic. I'm used to it, I see it all the time when I try and join certain things. I just hate watching it happen in rapid succession.

I also have talked to some people who, um, are a little awkward. When I ask if I'm speaking to a representative of a given club, an odd response would be "Depends who's asking," spoken in a creepy voice. Um, why? Is there something criminal going on? It appears that the guy's just odd. But you really speak to all kinds when doing tons of cold calls.

On the other side of the coin, people have some interesting ideas of what people with disabilities would want or need. Someone thought we should all be rounded up and placed in a compound where we could ride to all amenities and pet animals. Hmmm. Ok.

But I am learning a lot of interesting things about some recreational stuff around that I didn't know. I'm going to feel like an expert on ways to be active in Guelph in a big hurry.

I have said in a couple of places that this January is just full of suck for lots of people. But there is something weird about the way the barrel of sucktitude is dropping its piles of crap. It seems to be aiming for all the people you don't expect.

After the pile of misfortune that fell on Steve's family, I started bracing for the worst. When mom and dad would call, a small part of me would be worried. But all my grandparents and other elderly family are fine. Anyone who's been struggling with things seems to be ok. All the ones that are getting smacked around are otherwise healthy or reasonably active folks.

Take the case of Seth Webster, for example. I had seen him mentioned in a few places. He had been in a few Growing Up Guide Pup videos showing off his guide dog Bamboo, and he was volunteering for GDB. All seemed perfectly well. I admit I don't know him very well at all, but there were no signs of trouble that I noticed.

then, suddenly, he dies. What the? Who the? Huh?

Maybe January is giving me a giant, pound it into your head style lesson that life is precious, and you never know when it's your time to disappear. Ok ok ok, I got it. I think. Yeesh! Now, can you stop with the death and massive injury to tons of my friends and acquaintances thing? Please? Now?

I haven't written about the huppy in a while. Man is he ever learning a lot of stuff, and he's really, really trying to communicate. At one point, he decided that my coat had to be zipped, so he grabbed the top flaps, brought them together, and said "Please." Well, it sounded more like peeze, but ya know. I thought it was just too cute.

But there was one sentence he said that struck fear into my bones. I went with him and his mom in their car, and his mom wanted to run into a store and drop something off. I said I would stay with the huppy. She left, and a few seconds later, he said "Uh-oh, truck." Uh-oh, truck? Why uh-oh, truck. Was a truck coming for our car? I tried to stay calm, all the while wondering how I could best protect the huppy if the truck was going to hit us. Thankfully nothing happened, but who knew two words could be so scary?

He also imitates everything. Steve was chasing him around the house, and would jump out and go "Boo! Boo!" and he would go Boo! Boo! right back at him. He loves to hug, too, which is just super adorable.

You can see he's at that stage where the world is still purely logical for him. You can watch the wheels turning. "If that thing with a screen is a TV, then everything with a screen must be a TV." Actually he says TD, but I know what he's going for. "Also, the clicker controls the TV. So maybe it's a TV too. So clicker-like things and things with screens are TV's. Hmmm. Yeah. I think so."

Another thing I see his little brain working through is exactly what please means. His folks always get him to say please when he asks for something. But he has taken to thinking that please is some kind of command. So, if he wants to play with the clicker, he'll say "TD peeze." When we say no, he cannot figure it out. "But I said please! Hand it over! I said please!" Ah, the complexities one has to learn.

But he loves phones. He wants to grab any phone he can and say "call call". One time, we locked Steve's cell phone and let him look at it. Somehow, it came unlocked, and he managed to call call our house! It was pure luck that it was our house. He hit the send button which brought up the dialed numbers window, and we were at the top, so he hit that button again, and off went the phone. Oh boy. Keep your call call locked while near the huppy.

We gave him his Christmas present. I've said before that he likes to play with the mail slots in the building. So, I wondered if a toy mailbox existed. And holy crap, it does! I walked into Simply Wonderful Toys and fired off a whole bunch of choices. I thought I'd take a shot in the dark and ask if they had a mailbox, and my god, they did, complete with toy parcels and pieces of mail! I hope he likes it. I know for sure he liked the birthday bear that came in it.

I think that's about it for this round of babble. Everybody, stay safe and warm.

The Post Office's Thoughtlessness Towards Accessibility Is Enough To Make One Go Postal!

I was hoping to have something funny between angry chomping posts, but nothing funny came to me. So let's go, chomp chomp chomp.

Back in December, I walked down to the post office. I was going to send Ro her Christmas present. That's a pretty simple task. I walked in there, got it all boxed up and addressed, and went to pay. Since I have no idea how much it should cost to send some stuff to the states, I was going to pay by debit. She took my debit card and began to stammer. "Um, uh, er, I don't think we can do this." I looked at the flat screen in front of me, and instantly knew why. Just like Future Shop, they had gone to a touchscreen debit pad system.

I couldn't believe it. I stood there, and the girl didn't know what to do. She said this was all because they went to a new system that could read the chips in new debit cards, and they had to go to this new system because by law they have to accept chips. I said that not all chip-reading debit pads were touchscreen, so they still would have had the opportunity to choose an accessible machine. One employee after another barked at me that I'd just have to bring someone with me, and I'd just have to go to the bank and get cash. I said I was mailing this thing today, after all, they said if I didn't mail it today, it wouldn't reach Ro by Christmas, so I couldn't just rustle up a set of eyeballs to do my PIN for me, nor did I want to. It's my PIN! I also said I was not going to make an extra trip outside to get cash, so we had to figure something out. I eventually paid with my credit card, but I told them that this was not acceptable and this wouldn't be the end of it. I asked them where I could direct feedback, and asked them to do the same. They told me to go on their website.

That day, I just happened to be going to the mall to buy some Christmas presents. I took note of every machine that had a chip reader that I could still use, and let everyone know who was serving me what the post office said about how new chip-readers were all touchscreens. I thanked all the ones who had chip readers for choosing a pad with buttons, and asked all the ones with the swipe-style pads to remember accessibility when the time came to get chip-readers.

I came home a little bit mad that the post office had decided to do this Canada wide. It sucks when a business does it, but when an arm of the government does it, it's pretty disgusting. I guess I can expect nothing less from the same government who appeals rulings demanding they become accessible. So, I complained. I complained by email, and I complained by phone. Once the phone system would actually take my call, I felt like I was getting somewhere. For a while, all the phone would say was "Sorry, we're overwhelmed with calls so we can't talk to you right now. Call back later." and it would hang up. But once I got through, the lady who I spoke to was pretty understanding of my problem.

And here's a perplexing little thing to note. Why does the standard Canada Post site work better than the basic one designed for screenreaders and mobile phones? Why could I get the contact page to work on the standard site but not on the basic one? Very very odd.

I also talked to other blind folks, and asked them if they felt an overwhelming urge to go to the post office and pay debit, just so they could see if their debit pad was touchscreen. It was then that I discovered that the AEBC has already complained to the post office about this new development, and the following seems to be the post office's strategy.

Every Canada Post is getting a touchscreen machine called a verifone MX870. But if a blind person screeeeams, the post office has the option of replacing that machine with a "more friendly" version called the verifone model MX860. Wow. Isn't that just the most ass backwards way of serving the public? If you know the one model has accessibility issues, why not just use the friendlier version? Why make the customer have to yell for their rights? Some of us aren't as outspoken and stubborn as I am. They'll just lay down and take it. Oh, that's probably why Canada Post has chosen this way of dealing with us.

A few days later, I got a nice phone call from the supervisor here at the post office. She says that in six-eight weeks, they'll be bringing in a friendlier machine that I should be able to use. I asked her if she'd call me back when it was in so I could test it, and then I would let her know my thoughts. She said she would. We shall see.

So, if you use Canada Post, and you can't use the touchscreen, speak up. Don't let them think that flat PIN pads are acceptable. Speaking my PIN out loud is not an option at all. I've already explained that in the Future Shop post. It shouldn't be difficult for people to understand why. Would you speak your PIN out loud? No? Then why should I?

Blind Driver Challenge Audio

We have talked about the Blind Driver Challenge when it was in its baby stages. Well, they put this technology in a Ford Escape, and yesterday, Mark Riccobono drove it around the racetrack at Daytona.Have some audio, courtesy of Blind Bargains.

I don't know how to feel about this. Yeah, maybe they can take something from all of this technology and it'll grow into something folks can use on a more practical basis. But right now, it just looks like a great big waste of resources to feel good. Ooo look, a blind guy was able to drive a car in controled conditions. How about we tackle some more real world problems first?

I personally would not trust myself driving a car on the street. They fully admit that the concept isn't ready for that yet. But I don't think it will ever be. There are too many variables. And what if just one of those lasers fails? Crash smash crunch! If a computer breaks, it's an inconvenience. If your artificial vision breaks while driving, it could mean death, and not just for you.

Oh don't get me wrong. The optimistic part of me would love to be able to drive myself places. It would be super awesome to not have to rely on public transit to get me from A to B. It would rock the world to drive to Steve's and my family's places all by ourselves. That would be the coolest of the cool...if I didn't have to worry about other drivers, pedestrians and other things that require extremely fast reaction time.

We will see where all this goes.

Meetup, Thumbs Down

Ug. I hate having to write angry posts, but I have to.

Remember back in October when I said that Meetup's interface had taken yet another accessibility crap? Well, they just took another one.

On Thursday, they rolled out their interface that they consider to be just beautiful. That same day, I went to schedule a Meetup, and slammed screenreader-first into an accessibility brick wall.

So now, I don't know what they did to all their form fields, ya know, where you enter vital details like when and where you're meeting, what you're doing, how you can find me, all that good stuff, but there seems to be no way to enter data into them whatsoever using only a keyboard. I don't know if you have to roll over them with a mouse, as it appears you have to do to activate nearly every bloody link on the page, but I can type until the cows come home and it still says "80 characters left". I have tried with multiple screenreaders with the same result.

So, this makes it official. I refuse to pay this company any more of my money. If they don't want to be accessible, then obviously they don't want my business. We're either finding a new organizer, or our group is going to run off another site, a site I can manage.

But you know what makes things even worse? For some unknown reason, our mailing list, ya know, the primary way our group communicates, has gone down. So, I can't even send out a message explaining the predicament to our group. Just friggin dandy.

I've already written support, and endured the first go round of butt useless responses. Yes, Mr. Meetup support dude, I am capable of reading. I just can't activate anything. Go get someone with a functioning brain and then we'll talk again.

So, if there's anyone out there from the Guelph French Speaking / Groupe de langue française à Guelph meetup who's wondering what's going on, email me. Please do, because I don't know when the mailing list will be fixed again. I have a place booked, but nobody's going to know about it if the mailing list is down and I can't schedule the meetup.

And thanks to everyone on Twitter who have been tweeting at Meetup with me trying to pound into their heads that accessibility matters. Meetup only tweeted once asking what screenreader I'm using, but they've been receiving a lot of mentions. And sorry to the guy on Twitter who I thought didn't know what a screenreader was. He kinda got pounded with replies as well. It turns out he's not the biggest fan of Meetup either.

So, I don't know what the future holds for our group, but it won't be with Meetup. Well, now the mailing list is back alive. At least I could get the important information out.

Really, The F Word Is Quite A Good Word!

I'm posting this um, erm, grammar lesson, for 3 reasons. First, I saw it on Weird Universe and it gave me flashbacks. I forget who found this back when I was at school, but I remember listening to it over, and over, and over again, probably until my room-mate wanted to employ the starring word in this thing in my direction emphatically. I'm sure parts of it are complete crap, but they're still amusing.

Second, apparently the subtitles on this thing are riddled with horrid spelling errors. Someone really got creative with the word incompetence. So, for those who can see, get ready to cringe.

And third, I wanted to post something funny just because.

Devon And Jeff, Together Again

Yea! Everybody can dance and be happy. Devon is returned.

He was found by a British couple the night he ran away and they took care of him until the police got him back. Why they didn't try to get a hold of Jeff I don't know, but they seemed to have treated the dog well, so really that's all that matters in the end.

Yea! That was quick.

This Board's For You

When your girlfriend refuses to buy you beer, there are several things you can do. Calling it a night comes immediately to mind, as does asking a buddy instead. And now, thanks to Stephen Edward Siebold, I have an option I hadn't considered.Bite her hand, hit her on the head with a skateboard and engage in a little attempted strangulation.You know, because nothing says next round's on you like serving up a pint of irrational physical violence.

Boulder police Sgt. Kristi Peterson said the incident happened around 7 p.m. Wednesday in the 1200 block of Elder Avenue. According to a police report, the man was at home with his 21-year-old girlfriend and attacked her after she refused to buy him beer. Police said they think he was under the influence of narcotics.

By the time police arrived on the scene, Siebold had left, the report said.

If the narcotics were that good, what'd he need beer for? You can't have everything.

He was arrested without incident later that evening on suspicion of second-degree assault, attempted sexual assault, obstruction of telephone service and domestic violence.

So no beer anytime soon I suspect, even though he'll probably be spending a decent bit of time in the cooler.

Thx For Ur Bombs

Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahahahahah! Hehehehehheheheh! Giggle giggle snort. Ok. I think I can manage to write this down now.

This is about as good as the story of the suicide bomber who accidentally blew himself up falling down the stairs. But there's something even funnier about this one. I can't explain it. It just is.

A woman was all ready to head off to Red Square on New Years Eve and blow herself up, killing and wounding untold hundreds. But then her cell phone operator wished her a happy new year via text, and the text set off the suicide belt. She blew up in a safe house.

I guess, on a larger scale, the mobile phone operator got their wish. More people will have a happy New Year because of that text than won't. And I will continue to chuckle when I think about it.

Lost Guide Dog In Central Florida

The happy update is here. Devon has been reunited with Jeff.
Oh boy. Here comes another lost guide dog. This one's from the Seeing Eye, but a lost guide dog is a lost guide dog.

I guess there was some crazy weather in Florida on Tuesday. Jeff Bazer was there for a convention, I'm almost sure it would be the ATIA convention, andhis guide dog got spooked and ran off. They haven't seen him since. I don't seem to have any pictures, but his guide dog Devon is a 9-year-old black lab and his collar has all his info including Jeff's name and Devon's name.

Please somebody find Devon and bring him back to Jeff safely. I can't imagine losing Trix, but losing her in a place I don't know would just kill me even more.

A Bit Of Forgotten Canadian History

Leave it toSnopesto serve up something interesting on what's looking like a slow day.

I'm not sure why, but for whatever reason the story ofCharles Vance Millar and the Toronto Baby Racehe created when he died wasn't covered when I took Canadian history class back in my high school days.

If You're Happy And You Know It, Swear At A Baby

Once again, children's toys are spouting off at the mouth.

This time it's a singing puppy named My Pal Violet that told a woman's 4-month-old"If you're happy and you know it, fuck with me."

LeapFrog Toys, the company responsible for the confrontational canine, says that the nice little doggy is saying "bark with me," but all the same has promised to send a non-cursing unit to Leigh McPherson, the woman who complained.

You can judge for yourself just what this thing is saying by watchingthis videothat was uploaded by a woman unrelated to this case who apparently thinks the same thing.

Maybe it's bark, but I can understand how you might get fuck out of it. It's definitely a lot clearer thanIslam is the light.

If They Play It, You Can Pay For It

It's not often I get to write a sentence containing the words major record labels get something right, but this is one of those times.If it's on air, it's on sale, say majors

Starting next month, both Sony and Universal will be making songs available for digital download at the same time as they start playing on radio stations. I imagine the radio folks are thrilled, but there's no denying that this makes all kinds of business sense given how the world works now.

The internet means we don't have to wait for anything anymore, and most people are more than happy to settle for a poor quality recording of a song they want if it means they can have it now rather than in a month or so when the industry would like them to go out and buy the album. and now that services like iTunes, Amazon MP3 and the like are beginning to win people over, you'd have to be a fool not to take advantage of that need for instant gratification. Give people the chance to buy an official version of a song from you instead of forcing them to get an FM quality radio rip from the pirates and odds are some of them will. It's like I've always said: the reason people use P2P is because it offers everything people want, that being everything. the labels will never match those sites and applications on price, but that doesn't matter quite as much now that at least a segment of the population is willing to pay a small price to download songs they want. Besides, the price battle is obviously unwinnable, so the best you can do is put your best foot forward. this is a huge step in that direction and I hope to see more labels following suit. Start giving people everything in a way that's quick and convenient for them and only good things can happen.

Flash Light

John Dupuy has a strange way of entertaining his neighbours. One night, he decided to have some fun with himself in his own home. The only trouble was he did this while lying on a table near a window with a well-positioned reading lamp. Yuck! I guess cops could see him from the sidewalk.

Looks like the show's over.

If You Plan To Run, Don't Get Run Over

I have to wonder. Did Jona Zeigler go to the LaKeitha Watson-Atkinson getaway driving school? If she did, she learned quite well.

Police decided to have a chat with her because she had warrants. She wasn't the biggest fan of that, so she drove away, then got out of her car to run. The only problem was the truck, too, was still running, and in drive. She got out, tripped, and fell under it as it kept on rollin'. Then it dragged her until it came to a stop next to a fence.

So...yeah...about those warrants. I'm sure the cops will be around after you heal up.

A Bad Touch Off The Old Block

There are a couple things of note inthis story.The most obvious is that it's all about a father and son who both face child molestation charges in different towns in the same State. What you may not have immediately noticed is that the son, Robert D'Ginto Jr, is said to reside on Badman Road.

That's all I've got for this post, I'm off to wait for the story about dad to come out. You know, the one where it's revealed that he lives on Creepyguysinvansofferingcandyandpuppiestoschoolchildren Boulevard.

He Stops The Killings But Starts The Beatings.

So here's an irony for ya. Warren Jackson, an anti-violence speaker for a group called "We Stop The Killings", was arrested for domestic battery. Hmmm. That'll probably make his speeches a little less motivational, especially for his wee little kid who saw him smacking the woman around in the back of his car.

I love how his girlfriend picked up his stuff, but not him.

I Guess It was Beyond Help From Tuning

Thanks Ann for this one.

Now that's just weird. Suddenly, out in the middle of Biscayne Bay, there's a piano! Nobody knows how it got there, all they know is someone placed it on a sand bar at the highest point to make sure it doesn't go under at high tide.

How the hell could you get a piano out into the bay, and then strategically place it like that?

But apparently the sand bar is its new home, according to George Pino...Pino? I think he's missing a letter. Anyway, he's the spokesperson for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. Instead of being used to play music, it may end up being a home for life.

That's just...odd.

Sign The Card For Bernard

Well, this January is continuing to scrape the bottom of the barrel of sucktitude for way too many people. I just received the following message.

Dear All,

It has recently come to the attention of me that Bernard who tirelessly has worked on our communities behalf through his efforts with Solona.net has fallen ill... the exacting nature of his illness is not known, however, as many of you have commented his efforts in helping us through all manner of adaptive tech requires recognition, not to mention our support at what is no doubt a difficult time right now.

We have a mailing address for Bernard and shall be posting a "get well" card to him in a week or so.

If you would like to have your name printed and placed on the card, please send a message to; service@talknav.com with the subject line of Solona Card.

please only do this in the following format:

first, last names followed by a §-§ and then your country of residence.

We regret that we cannot print additional messages, as the card would turn into a book, so only your name and country shall be printed.

If you can spread the word as quickly as possible, as we would like to get the card off as soon as we can.

Damn it all. I worried that solving all these captchas day and night would have its negative effects. I hope whatever illness he has isn't super serious and he will recover.

Please, please sign the card. Bernard needs to know we care about him.

If Ifs And Buts Were Keystrokes And Nuts...

If onlyKeith R. Griffinhad known about and installedPawSense,his life could have been drastically different, especially where making the news for being a slow-witted pervert is concerned.

When cats walk or climb on your keyboard, they can enter random commands and data, damage your files, and even crash your computer. This can happen whether you are near the computer or have suddenly been called away from it.

PawSense is a software utility that helps protect your computer from cats. It quickly detects and blocks cat typing, and also helps train your cat to stay off the computer keyboard.

Where's My Remote Control?

We have yet another case of some numbnut using a lighter as a light source...and starting an inferno.

This one was the 19-year-old son of Karen Rhine. He couldn't find the remote control, and it was under his bed. So, he thought a lighter could provide the needed light. Oh boy did it provide light, because it lit the mattress on fire. Then he tried to flip the mattress over to put out the fire, which caused everything to go up.

But the family wasn't done making poor decisions. As they were running from the fire, in an attempt to prevent smoke damage, or something, they opened windows and propped open the door! That just gave the fire more fuel to make sure their house burned, including their dogs which were trapped inside.

If I were Karen Rhine, I would be doing some long, hard thinking about how my son grew to 19 years of age and hadn't figured out that you don't use a lighter to give more light.

I Couldn't Flip Off The Deck And That Made Me Flip Out, So Now You Can Flip The Pages Of My Jail Assignment

Dallas Smith, 18, who as previously mentionedstabbed a dude for teasing her about having smelly feet,has beensentenced to 15 months in jail and told to complete a six-page research paper on the topic of excess alcohol consumption's tendency to destroy lives.She has until May of 2012 to write the report.

"Let me be absolutely clear: This case is not about smelly feet. It is about binge drinking and (the) criminal behavior that did flow from that," Snohomish County Superior Court Judge David Kurtz said during the hearing.

for her part, Smith did apologize following the incident for what she called a "great error in judgment," so maybe there's some hope for her yet.

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror, I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways

We're just getting word of this now, but better late than never, as they say. And besides, the irony tag needs some love, so here goes.

Resident Ricardo West is charged with one count of first-degree criminal sexual conduct, which carries a sentence of 25 years to life in prison; three counts of second-degree criminal sexual conduct, a 15-year felony; four felony counts of use of a computer to solicit a crime; one count of possessing child sexually abusive material; two counts of accosting children for immoral purposes; and one count of distributing sexually explicit material to a child.

West allegedly sent sexually explicit and graphic e-mails and text messages, including nude pictures of male body parts, to an 11-year-old boy. Also, during rehearsal of a stage production he was working on, he admitted to police to sexually assaulting the boy in a City Hall bathroom. West was arrested April 14.

His job? Actually he has a couple of them. Unfortunately one of them is working as a bus aide with autistic children, but his other is as aMichael Jackson impersonator.In fact almost a year before the story linked above hit the news, West played Jackson in a production called "Michael Lives! The Michael Jackson Tribute Concert". Let's hope he now realizes that there's a right way and a wrong way to pay tribute to someone.

Fountain Of Stupid

We now have a name for the texting chick who fell into the fountain. It's Cathy A. Cruz Marrero, and she's suing the mall security for releasing her video to YouTube.

The funny part is she would have been completely unidentifiable from the video, but she started demanding apologies and suing over it. But she can't keep her story straight. Right after saying she was horrified that the video was spread around, she then said she brought this forward because she wanted to warn people about the dangers of walking and texting. Then wouldn't she be glad that the video went viral? I mean, tons of people would have been warned of the dangers of obliviously texting by watching her example.

Oh, and she has a nice big criminal record too. So don't lend your credit card to her, because she'll likely start using it all the time, and redirect the bills to her house so you don't know about it.

I know they probably had to do it, but I'm kinda sad they fired the security guard who released the tape.

Something tells me her lawsuit won't go too well.

Grandpa Got Run Over By His Blood Alcohol Level

Here's a little note. If you're going to take your year and a half-old grandson for a stroll, especially along a highway, do it sober, please. If you're too drunk, you might just pass out beside the stroller, next to the highway.

And here's another little side note. When police ask you what's wrong, a good response is not "I'm just resting." You'll be resting in jail with some felony child neglect charges then.

Wells To The Angels? How Did That Happen?

Of all the things I was not expecting to hear last night,the news that Vernon Wells had been traded straight up to the Angels for Mike Napoli and Juan Riveracomes in pretty high on the list.

I've had all night to digest this trade, and I still have no idea how in hell Alex Anthopoulos managed to pull it off. The best I can come up with is that he has pictures/video of Tony Reagins in some rather compromising positions, either that or he knows where some bodies are buried. How else can you explain the Angels agreeing to take on $86 million over the next 4 years for one player who while a good addition is in no way worth that kind of money while in exchange, the Jays rid themselves of that beastly contract and pick up a guy who can catch, play 1st base and DH (Napoli) and another option in the outfield who can also hit against left-handed pitching, which is something the Jays could use (Rivera)? And they're getting all of this for only $11.35 million.

No matter what you think of Vernon Wells the player or the person who does all of the great charity work off the field, there's no possible way this can be seen as anything but a huge win for the Jays. I'll miss Vernon's bat especially if he has another year like he did last season, but let's be honest, playing up to the deal he signed is damn near impossible for anybody and the team was wise to get it off the books. Unless there's something that hasn't been reported, I kind of feel bad for the Angels. The deal as it is seems a bit like the bully taking advantage of the slow kid on the playground. Time will tell I suppose, but the Angels being saddled with the ghost of J.P. Ricciardi's Past while the Jays suddenly have an extra $75 million available to sign some deals (Jose Bautista among them?) almost doesn't seem fair. But as a Jays fan, I'll take it.

He'll Get Screwed In Court Too.

I'd love to know where Hubert Blackman has been living for, I dunno, his entire life. Somehow, he has not figured out that prostitution is illegal, so if you get ripped off by a prostitute, the cops aren't going to help you, and suing probably won't work either. You can tell that he's filing this suit without a lawyer. No lawyer would go ahead with this.

I don't know what's funnier: the fact that he states that he has a "psycotic disorder", or in this other version, the fact that the police tell him that they can't help him and he could be arrested because prostitution is illegal, and maybe he should contact the Better Business Bureau. Seriously. Was the cop laughing? He had to be.

I'm sure his mother just wants to run away and hide after reporters showed up to ask about this lawsuit.

Croco-Dial

I'm easily amused. The image of a cellphone-swallowing crocodile whose stomach won't stop ringing makes me giggle. Equally amusing is the lady whose phone he swallowed wanting her sim card back. Lady, your phone went down the hatch of acroc! Even if they could get your sim card back, all data is probably lost. Maybe not, since the phone appears to be able to receive calls, but I doubt there's much hope. Just take this as a lesson about holding your phone out to snap photos of crocs, be grateful that all he got was your phone, and move on.

Oh, I think the croc has another call.

Snow Blower

Leo J. Powers was definitely creative in avoiding work. Everyone hates to shovel snow, right? Well, Powers decided he wasn't gonna do it. How would he deal with the snow? Why, make a bomb and blow up the snobanks, of course. Well now he's in a whole bunch of trouble because the cops were alerted to his stash of military grade ammo and explosive powder.

And reporter dude, seriously, check your work. There are some interesting typos in there.

Signs Point To Drunk

So let me get this straight, Shane Woelke. You were drunk, and this wasn't the first time. You hit some street signs. You decided that you should probably hide the evidence, so put them in the back of your car. But then you couldn't manage to get off the road before passing out? You couldn't even get your car out of drive? You are so unbelievably lucky that you didn't drive off to your death while you slept, probably taking a few people with you.

I also love how, when asked what's up with the signs in the back of the car, you managed a blank stare while your passenger said "What signs?" What signs? That's really dumb. It also didn't work.

There's An Urn At The Bottom Of The Lake...

Remember how I thought it would be next to impossible to recover ashes from a lake? It's easier than I thought. It looks like they found almost all the ashes. They're just looking for the ashes of one of the woofs and the urn.

Aaaa! There's A Moron On The Loose!

I wonder if Joseph Moron and Bryan Scott Moron are related. Well, one of them only ended up being a drunken fool, while the other one sounds like quite the vicious individual. Well, I can't blame him for being a little bitter. Can you imagine having the last name Moron? Imagine the jokes, the ridiculing. It would never end. I still can't believe there's a whole set of descendents walking around with the last name Moron. Is there an Idiot and an Imbecile family too?

As an aside, I love the headline. I know it is completely logical and correct, but...

And...She Took Off Her Pants?

Here's an interesting one for ya. We've talked about lots of drunks with neglected babies. We've talked about drunks driving into snow drifts. But I don't think we've ever talked about a drunken mom who drove her car into a snow drift, got out of it and then took off her pants. Yeah ok. In the middle of winter, just get out of the car, leave your four-month-old baby in the back minus a diaper, take off your pants and stand there, loo dee doo. Oh yeah, and then after someone bails you out, skip your arraignment too. you're special, Gayle Drummond, real special.

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

Here's something chuckleworthy. A bunch of people on my Twitter list were talking about finding a new tune for the alphabet. In response, one of them gave us this.

It made me chuckle because in typing lessons, we would have to write the alphabet out, and I did some typing lessons on the old apple, which talks. Then I would look back at my lesson and wonder what in hell weird word I had written there over and over and over again. abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz. Then I'd realize it was the alphabet. It still sounds kind of funny in JAWS, but not nearly as awesome as on the sing songy Echo. Hey Ro, did Alex have to breathe in there?

Well, I hope everybody gets a chuckle out of cute little Big Bird.

Mmm...Dead People

It looks like there's a bit of an update to the story of the cremated remains-snorters. Not only did they snort the ashes, they ate some of them thinking they were crushed pills. Hmmm. I wonder if any of these geniuses nibbled on mysterious blue cubes as children.

An additional weird detail is police divers are searching the lake for the ashes. For the ashes? Seriously? How will they know what's ashes and what's dirt. Or are they diving for the urn?

How I'm Feeling And Some Wrestling Stuff

I can't believe I'm actually going to try to write something. Sure I've written a few quick posts here and there in the last week or so, but nothing huge that requires boatloads of effort and concentration. This may kill me, but here goes.

The main point of this post is going to be a few wrestling thoughts I've had floating around, but before I get to those, how am I doing?

We've talked a bithereand some on Twitter about me being sick since the new year started. Well to make a long story short, I'm still not well. The major problem that started it all is essentially gone, though I still don't have my appetite back to where it should be and I tire out easily. The worst part now are the constant, debilitating headaches, but hopefully they're now on the road to the end of days. I went to a clinic to get them checked out, and I'm now on 10 days of antibiotics for what they say is Sinusitis. Makes sense to me given how the headaches feel and some of the symptoms I've been having. I'm on day 2 of the treatment and the pills are starting to beat the hell out of me, so I'm hoping it's for a good cause. I can't wait for the first day of 2011 that doesn't involve me feeling ill, being in pain or both. And as a small, historical side note, both my 16 year not needing to visit an ER and 13 year no need for antibiotics streaks have been broken this year. Here's hoping my not needing to be hospitalized since I was a baby and they were trying to figure out what this blindness deal was all about streak isn't next. Wish me luck.

Ok, on to the wrestling, or for 3 quarters of you, on to whatever the next post is!

*PWInsider is doing another one of those PPV pick 'em games. I entered again, not because I think I've got a great chance of winning, but mostly because I'm looking forward to another year of knock down drag out competition with Ryan S.

*I just heard that WWE is going to be releasing a DVD called The Randy Orton Experience. I'm not sure how many of you know this, but I have some inside sources and while there isn't much information available, I can tell you a few things about what the Randy Orton Experience will involve.

• The DVD will cut long, annoying, wooden, boring, monotonous, monotone sleep-inducing promos.
• It will trash hotel rooms, throw fits when its not happy and generally act unprofessionally but will never face any serious consequences because the people in charge think its a star.
• It will have bad matches that will derail the pushes of young, up and coming DVDs. this of course will be viewed as the fault of those young DVDs even though there's an obvious pattern here.
• There is also talk of including a special feature that would see the DVD injure its shoulder while pounding on the mat like an idiot when its doing that stupid viper thing.

*I'm sad to hear that ROH on HDNet will be ending its run in April. ROH is looking for another TV home, and I hope it finds one. I think there's still room on television for a wrestling show that's booked and presented like a true wrestling show. At least Ring of Honor itself isn't going away, that would be truly sad. I've become a big fan over the last couple of years and would hate to see it die since it's a great counterbalance to the stuff going on in places like TNA.

*Speaking of TNA, these people are stupid. I know there's nothing particularly groundbreaking about that statement, but their bothering of me has gotten me to my I must write this down point again.

The main storyline in the company right now involves the Immortal group taking over control of TNA from President Dixie Carter. They did this by tricking her into signing away her rights to the organization when she thought she was signing papers to have Abyss fired. This much makes sense, even down to the part where she would sign without looking things over. she was firing Abyss because he had just finished terrorizing her and her family, and she thought that Eric Bischoff was a trusted business partner. So far, so good.

Eventually we come to the part where Dixie returns and says that she's going to be taking her company back. she's in the process of filing court cases and going through all the legal hoops to put things right. Ok, you would expect that, and I'm even willing to kind of overlook the part where Bischoff invited her to the Immortal Thanksgiving dinner completely out of the blue and expected things to go well. That's stupid, but nothing in TNA is perfect and I'm learning to pick my battles.

So now here's where things get completely drooling on yourself because you have no alternative retarded. You're in the middle of a fraud case that you have virtually no chance of winning. You could be facing some serious fines and even jail time. You'll surely never be able to find work in wrestling or anywhere else again. Your life may well be ruined. What is your response? If you're Eric Bischoff and the rest of his crew, your big idea is that you need leverage to use against Dixie's side. So do you hire lawyers to dig up evidence that all is not as it seems? Do you try to enforce the contract as it is even though it's a serious longshot? No. what you do is decide that the best way to gain the power, leverage and control that will allow you to overcome the odds is...wait for it....wait for it...winning all the titles in the company! Yes indeed, nothing says slam dunk criminal case defence like yeah, so what if we took over the company under false pretenses, we're tag champs! What are you gonna do about it, bitches!? this is especially stupid in TNA, where the writing team wants us to think that everything is real unless they tell us straight up that it's not. If this belt thing is supposed to work in real life, why did they take the world title off of Jeff Hardy when he's in the middle of his big drug case? They must really hate the guy to throw him to the wolves like that.

I'm all for suspending disbelief and poetic license and whatever else you want to call it, but there's stretching the boundaries of what would really happen and then there's being totally bereft of logic and a clue. TNA does this belts mean power thing it seems every second or third week,but they've never bothered to explain what the power is. what do you get to control? What decisions do you get to make? Nobody knows, but we're all supposed to. And in TNA the titles change hands every 37 minutes, so how much power does anybody truly have? It's all so incredibly nonsensical, and it's such a shame too because there's so much potential in TNA if they could just get the right people running things.

That's all I've got. I'm spent, a bit hungry and I think I might need to lie down for a little. I'm glad I made it through writing all of this without taking a break, hopefully that's a good sign. I'll talk to you all soon.

It's Time For Another Edition of How Cool Is That?

I have more cool news. Remember back when I railed about how much companies were charging for a talking caller ID? Well, I didn't specifically say it was a talking caller ID, but that was what I was trying to buy.

Well, Future Aids, or the Braille Book Store has come through again. We've already established that they rock. Back when I was first on the hunt for talking caller ID's, Future Aids didn't carry them. Now they do, and for the reasonable price that folks in the states can get them. I just bought one for a friend, and it's the exact same unit that we had to jump through a thousand hoops to get back 4 years ago.

So if you're in Canada, and you want a talking caller ID, no longer do you have to pay over double the price that Americans do for this thing. Give Future Aids a call.

Is This The New Wayfinder Access?

I just saw this little sign of hope on Blind Bargains. It sounds like the American Printing House is thinking about taking that abandoned Wayfinder Access code and putting it to use. Pretty damn cool!

I just hope they don't custom build their own device, and instead let the GPS have a list of compatible phones or something. Any time you have to build a device from scratch, things get more expensive.

I'll be watching this with a whole lotta interest. Anybody going to CSUN? Tell me what you see!

Ashes To Crackheads

I think these five teenage burglars had better simmer down. Simmer down and get off the drugs.

They burglarized a home and took some jewellery and electronics. They also took 3 something elses that they figured were drugs. They just had to be. I mean, they were little jars full of powdery stuff. It had to be crack or heroin. Or maybe the cremated remains of someone's father and two dogs. Oh, you already snorted the ashes? Too bad. If you got high, it was the placebo effect.

How the hell desperate for a hit would you have to be to look at something that probably was quite obviously an urn and go "oooo! Coke or heroin! Snortsnortsnort!"? But I guess if you're already high, anything's possible.

I wonder how sick they all feel now knowing they just snorted dead man and dog.

He Cut The Cheese, And My Friends!

So we have learned previously that people have pulled a knife over being told their feet stink. Now, Marc Higgins will do the same if people comment on his flatulence.

And boy did he ever. He was at a party getting pretty drunk and I guess he was passing gas a lot. Some others commented on his stinky farts a few times, and he even got slapped by somebody. Then he smashed a beer bottle and stormed out of the party.

But he came back later, with two butcher knives and went to town on four people out on the back porch. He intended to stab everybody in the house. One of his victims is now dead.

Then, he just randomly showed up at the police station, lay down and started saying "I did it. I need help. They deserved it." Well you definitely need help.

Seriously dude. Stay away from the booze and lay off on the beans, I guess.

From Cat Box To Jury Box

Ok, first a cat gets an ASBO. Now, in Boston, one gets summoned for jury duty. I know stuff like this happens all the time, but the funny part about this one is when the family explained the situation to the commissioner of jury selection, he didn't care! So, they might have to bring the cat to court before it's settled!

So this, people, is why you do not include your pets in the census, even if you specify that it is a pet. If they don't have your pet's name, they can't call it up for jury duty.

Assault With A Nasty Fish!

There are some strange people in this world, and a strange woman out on Black Lake.

Two men were ice fishing when they were approached by a woman who wanted to pee on the ice. She asked them to look away while she took a leak. When they did, she hit them in the head with a fish! Um why?

When the police talked to her, she apparently said she did it because they put their shanty too close to hers.

Lady, you have issues.

The Carnival Is Back!

Back a bit ago, I wrote a post for the second Assistance Dog Blog Carnival. Now, the carnival is live. So you can read about every kind of decision imaginable to do with having a service dog. There's a lot of reading, so hop around, make some new friends, all that great stuff. Most importantly, learn some new things. Have Fun!

He Had A Different Kind Of Community Service In Mind

What the hell? Two guys come to a place to do some community service. A lawyer takes them upstairs to explain the program to them, and...whips down his pants. here's the 911 call, complete with perplexed operater.

Really, what else is there to say? Why in Christ would he do that? I guess only Thomas Walkley knows.

Driving Lesson: He Shouldn't Have Been Driving There, What A Tough Lesson.

What is this, show all the stories that could make me shake my head day? I know that sounds dumb considering the stuff we post up here, but come on.

I know lots of parents have shown their kids how to drive long before they're 16. Kids drive tractors and trucks and stuff in fields all the time. Buta road leading to a canal that has no guard rail is probably not the place to have the first lesson. Also, if you're going to let a kid drive, it should probably just be you and him in the car. Otherwise, bad things could happen to you, like happened to the family of Gregorio Paulino-Ortega.

The 41-year-old was driving along with his 12-year-old son sitting beside him. In the back were his wife, one-year-old daughter and six-year-old son. They were on a road near a canal when suddenly he thought it would be a swell plan to switch seats with his son and let him drive.

Immediately, the son put the car into gear by accident, drove right across the road and into the canal. Son and pops are fine, but mom and the rest of the flock are in critical condition. Just excellent.

I wonder if he had cleaned his lit fireplace with an aerosol recently.

The Brightest Light Came From The Fireball

Note to everyone, courtesy of an unnamed fellow in Colorado Springs. If you're going to clean your natural gas fireplace, especially if you're going to clean it with an aerosol, make sure it isn't lit first. If it is still lit and you spray aerosol stuff up there, a big fireball just might shoot out of the fireplace and envelop your head.

Better yet, just wipe the thing, don't use aerosols at all. But come on, who cleans a lit fireplace? I hope this guy doesn't do it again.

Dear Customer: Someone Wishes To Send You Some Crap. Allow?

Amazon has been awardeda pretty interesting patent.It's for a system that would allow people to exchange gifts that are coming their way via the company for something else before they even ship out, saving the recipient the hassle of returning them later.

Amazon specifically cites a fictional "Aunt Mildred." In the example, the recipient identifies his or her aunt as having "different tastes than the user." The system will require information about Aunt Mildred to accurately identify her. When Aunt Mildred sends a gift to the recipient, the system's "gift conversion is triggered."

Amazon's system goes beyond just targeting family members and friends who offer undesirable gifts. The company's patent also includes a system whereby recipients can "check clothes sizes first" to ensure the gift they're about to receive is the right size. If it is, they'll receive it. If not, the system will recognize the wrong size and trigger a conversion that changes the gift to another size.

If a person does choose to block a shipment, the system will allow him to pick something else presumably of equal value or to take a gift card instead.

the biggest problem I can see here is that it might be fairly time consuming for someone to profile everybody who might send stupid gifts, especially as more and more people start doing their shopping online instead of at the mall. Do I really feel like sitting there pumping information about what I think somebody might like and what I don't into Amazon just for the sake of not getting an ugly sweater or two? And what if I'm wrong? I mean if Aunt Mildred can so criminally misjudge me, what's stopping me from doing the same thing when it comes to her tastes? Seems to me it would be a lot easier if the system shot me an email whenever somebody wanted to ship me anything rather than the burden falling on me the way this makes it sound.

I also have to wonder how much information a set-up like this would need. Any time a company wants to profile my tastes and those of people I know and store this information for future use, the privacy part of my brain tends to get a little twitchy. Sure they're using it to save me some trouble right now, but what's to stop one company arm from combining with another later on?

I think this idea is at least somewhat well intended, but why can't bad gifts be a fact of life? There are worse things in the world than getting a set of Justin Bieber coffee mugs, and what's stopping you from re-gifting them to somebody who may actually want them? Besides, even the blind squirrel finds a nut now and again. I've got some repeat offenders in my family, but those same people who you'd think hardly know me some years have come through pretty big sometimes. Maybe I'm getting old, but I'm still into that element of surprise thing.

Identity Crisis

What's with all these people giving bad false names?

First up, we have Jonothan Ray Gonsalez, who used the name Timothy Michael Koop Jr instead of his own. The problem was that man was wanted too. I guess he only had one warrant, whereas Gonsalez had 3, but still, one warrant will take you to jail.

Next up is a valuable lesson to anybody who habitually uses someone's false name to avoid arrest. if that person ever gets a warrant, boy oh boy will it ever come back to bite you in the ass. Haahahahahahahaha! I cackle and howl whenever I think about this wonderful mess that Mario Miramontes got himself into. Hell, I can't even finish writing it down without cracking up.

I guess this fella had been in and out of jail for a long long time. If he was stopped by the cops and he had warrants, no problem, he'd just give his cousin Christopher Ayala's name. Ayala hadn't had any brushes with the law at all, so they'd just let him go.

As things went along, people started thinking he was Ayala, and since Ayala hadn't had any trouble with the law, they didn't have his prints or pictures to compare with Miramontes's. Then, When Miramontes tried the trick again, Ayala in fact had a warrant. Wooops! So off Miramontes went to jail.

But it didn't end there. Once Miramontes told Ayala what was going on, Ayala turned himself in and got a lawyer. This was going on at the same time as Miramontes had been appointed a lawyer. But because of all the connecting of names, They thought Ayala's lawyer was for Miramontes, so Miramontes's appointed lawyer was told his services would no longer be required.

Miramontes sent many letters, but they fell on deaf ears. He spent 13 months in jail before things got straightened out, and it's his own damn fault. I have not one bit of sympathy for him.

He's suing. I hope he loses. And I hope this starts happening to more people who give false names. What goes around has to start coming around in spectacular fashion just like this.

It Was Under Where?

Ug. You know what sucks? Even though they got the mink coat back, they may not be able to sell it.

Apparently a sales associate noticed that a $6500 mink coat had gone missing, and also noticed that Stephanie Moreland was acting kinda weird. When she asked her if she had the coat, she said no and took off. The salesperson took down her license plate and she was arrested and held in jail for the weekend. She was searched for weapons, but obviously not too well.

A couple of days later, a detective was asking Moreland some questions about the coat. Moreland then said she had the coat, but had already sold it. When she was told she would be taken to another jail, she lifted up her dress, and pulled the coat out of her underwear! Ug!

I guess Moreland is a bigger woman, so could hide the coat better. She had also modified her underwear.

I wonder how much cleaning that coat will need, or if it can be sold. Ick.

I'm Sure It Had Lots Of Sauce

There's a little story that staff at Hudson, Michigan will be embarrassed about for a while.

A woman at a stop light noticed something odd about what was going on inside a city vehicle. There was Steve Hartsel, the city manager, but he appeared to be masturbating, and exposing himself to her. When she called the police to report it, he initially claimed she was so wrong. He had a submarine sandwich in his lap. Uh-huh. Right. Yeah, he had a yum rocket in his lap.

Eventually, when another motorist confirmed the story, he had to admit that was no sandwich.

Yuck.

Crying Wolf Makes Others Snarl

As technology evolves, the means to communicate with each other become increasingly sophisticated. But will these means ever be sufficient to breach the gaps between us? Or will they only serve to pull us further apart?

Outer Limits, Season 2, episode 10.

Excuse me if what I'm about to write doesn't make any sense. But I need to write it for two reasons. 1. That I get it down, and 2. that someone might read it later and it might help them.

Yesterday felt like an ordinary day. I got some stuff done, I talked to my room-mate from GDB, I had some yummy food. Then I decided to catch up on my tweets. And this is what I read from a user with the name Lindsay Cowell, calling herself HappyHatter:

Just wanted to say goodbye to all my fellow twitterers, have taken 60 paracetamols, tbc, just waiting for them to kick in now, not long for this world.

Um, woe? If that ain't a suicide attempt, I don't know what is.

I looked up paracetimols because I have no idea what the fuck they are. Apparently they're an aspirin-based painkiller. So...poppin' 60 aspirins sounds like a suicide attempt to me.

Panicpanicpanic.

The part that really sucks is I just started following this person yesterday. So, I have no idea if she makes a lot of suicidal threats, whether she has done this before, what kind of other means she has of taking her life, all those things I know to check for. Remember, I've volunteered on a distress line.

So I pulled up her list of followers to see if we had anyone in common. Lo and behold, we had a couple who I knew were awake because they were tweeting.

I quickly dm'd them and asked if they knew where she was located/what they knew of her history of suicide attempts. And goddamn it, neither of them knew her that well. Panicpanicpanic. But they also tweeted about it, and put up with my endless barrage of dm's. Bless them, and bless my other friend for staying up with me too, watching the influx of dm's.

So...I thought of Thordora's old post where someone misunderstood a tweet and sent the tweet to Twitter, who contacted authorities. How did they do that? Thinkthinkthink.

I couldn't find a way, nor could others on Twitter. But that was not enough for me. I picked up the phone and called my local distress line. Maybe they would know what I should do.

The poor girl, the poor poor girl. I know how it feels to work an overnight shift. You just hope you get some lonely people. You don't want anything stressful because honestly, who is lively and full of ingenuity at midnight? I know I sure as shit am not.

I asked her, and she didn't have a clue, nor did she have a Twitter account. She did her very level best to help me, giving me a toll-free number in the states that she found on google that had a whole article to do with dealing with suicide threats on Twitter. If they wrote an article, they'd have to know what to do, right? Right?

I called it. The first thing they asked me was if *I* was having any suicidal thoughts. Bless them, I know exactly what they're doing. I told them no, and tried to assure them that I was fine, although I'm sure my panicked tone did not lend huge heaps of credibility to that statement.

I told them what happened, and they started asking me all the things I wished I knew. "Do you know where she lives? Do you know others who do? Do you have a phone number?" No, no, no no no no no!

Then she said something that nearly sent me through the roof. "Just give her the life line and get her to call here." Lady, if I was talking to her, I would be working on getting her some help. I wouldn't be asking how to trace tweets. Poor lady, though, I may have said the same if in her shoes. I know, I know.

Everyone I was dm'ing with was telling me to call 911, but with so little information, I was afraid they would misunderstand and they'd end up at my door. I did not need to be packed off to Guelph General in my PJ's and held for 72 hours. That, sure as shit, would not get her any help.

So, I thought I'd call the local police dispatch. Surely they have had to deal with tweets being sent to them with criminal content. Surely, surely!

Oh my my my oh my. What a fail. But I do give him credit for trying as hard as his poor little heart would let him.

Me: Do you know the way I can trace a tweet and notify the necessary authorities? I have someone on my Twitter list who is threatening suicide.
Cop: Twitter? What? I don't know Twitter. Is this person in Guelph?

Me: No, and this is the thing. I don't know where they are. If I did, I would call the local authorities. I was hoping you knew what I could do to get a tweet traced.
Cop: You don't know them?

Me: No, I just started following them. I don't know hardly anything about them. I just started following them because they follow me and some other folks I follow.
Cop: Follow? What is follow? I don't understand.

Me: (begins to not be able to think quickly. How do you explain Twitter and the suicidal threat in a nutshell?) Following is the term for getting messages from a twitter user.
Cop: so you follow her but you don't know her?
(great. Now he thinks I'm following her around like a stalker. Jesus murphy.)

Me: That's the way social networking works. You meet people through other people and then you get to know them. She started following me, so I decided to find out what she's all about. And this is the first tweet I read. I don't know where she is.
Cop: Do you have a phone number for her?

Me: No!
Cop: What is her name?

Me: It's...goddamn it! She's disappeared off my followers and friends list.
(*this should have been the first sign of what was to come.*)
Cop: Just give me her name.

Me: I'm trying. Lindsay Cowell.
Cop: And you're sure she's not in Guelph?

Me: not sure of anything, but I think she may be in the states.
Cop: ok, let me take down some information. Name? Date of birth? Address? Phone number?
(Great. Now he has all this information on me, the non-suicidal one, and nothing on the suicidal one. I was so scared he would get this weird idea that I was talking about a *friend* but I was the one who was going to off myself. I kept listening for woo woo woos in the distance.)

Cop: If you google, you will find about the seventh hit down something about dealing with suicidal threats on Twitter. Maybe they have some info.

Funnily enough this is the same article that the distress line had googled out.

He said he would keep trying to see what he could do, but not having access to Twitter, he really didn't know how much he could do. He let me go.

And bless his heart, he called back a few minutes later and thought he had found a number for Twitter. What he gave me was out of service. But I thought the thought was absolutely wonderful. At least he did what he could. I sure didn't give him much to go on, and apparently some dude got beat up and robbed last night in Guelph, so I'm sure there was more being focused on that for sure.

After dm'ing with folks for a little longer, I found a way to submit tweets with threats in them to Twitter. It wasn't too comforting to see the message "thanks for your message! It will take us a few days to respond." A few days? Oh dear. I also DM'd Twitter Support with the tweets and asked them to help. I heard nothing.

By about 2:30, I felt I had exhausted every option I had. I stayed up and watched my dm's for a while and then decided there was nothing else I could do. I fell down to sleep, fitfully.

Then this morning I wake up. I didn't sleep worth a damn and the first thing I do is check Twitter for new developments. Nothing.

Then it happens. I get a message from one of the ones who stayed up with me. We find out that when HappyHatter disappeared, a new Twitter account was born. This person never took any damn pills. She was just doing this to manipulate someone, any way she knew how. This woman kept me, and countless others, up half the night and made us worry for nothing. This woman made me exhaust every resource I had available just so that I might be able to help her. And for nothing. For nothing. This woman is why people's cries for help go unheeded, because no one takes them seriously anymore.

Some people may laugh at me, calling me an easy target for cons and such, telling me that people aren't serious when they threaten suicide. But I have lost several people to suicide, and although some went without warning, some have cried out. So how can I make that call, especially when I barely know this woman?

So this is a message to everyone who thinks threatening suicide is the way to go for getting something out of someone close to you. Just look at what two tweets did to me, a completely innocent person who didn't know you. You are hurting far more people than you think, including yourself, because if you ever need help for real, good luck finding a sympathetic ear.

I hope you never lose someone due to suicide. If you ever do, you will understand the wounds that person left behind in their family, their friends, their community. You will see how their mother's health rapidly declines because she can't live with the guilt, the anger, the wondering why. Then you will know exactly why I am so angry with you for toying with everyone just for shits and giggles.

I found her new username, and gave her a right talking to, along with some others who did a fine job, and to her credit, she did apologize. I hope her apology is sincere and she never, ever, ever does that shit again.

And here's a message for the volunteer working last night at the Distress Centre here in Guelph. the girl on Twitter is fine. Everyone is fine. I tried to call in this morning and let the girl know who was manning the phones so she could pass on the message, but she did not understand. Oh well. Maybe you'll find this blog entry.

So please, everyone, stay safe, and for those of you who are in distress, get the help you need. If anyone out there is contemplating suicide, there is help and there are suicide prevention hotlines. Use them. And for anyone out there who is contemplating threatening suicide just to hurt someone, grow the hell up and learn some real coping strategies, will ya?

Ahh, Sugar Sugar

It's a well known fact that guys will beat off to almost anything at any time in any place, but there's still something strange about the place being a British public library and thethingbeing the autobiography of politician and businessman Lord Alan Sugar.

An anonymous source who witnessed the man masturbating told The Sun: "He spent about 20 minutes looking through the books in the business section before selecting Alan Sugar's autobiography.

"He was behaving rather oddly so we kept an eye on him and then he just sat down with his coat over his lap and started pleasuring himself as he looked through the book.

"It was very bizarre behaviour and our security guys got a hold of him before too many people saw what he was doing."

The man was banned from returning to the library and cautioned by police.

And because I'm the helpful sort, here'sSugar's Wikipedia pagefor the benefit of those who are unable to get out of the house today.

Apparently, We're All Spaced Out!

Well, almost four years ago, I asked the question two spaces or one after a period? It appears that today I got my answer. According to this Slate article, the consensus is one space, goddamn it, and stop with the two spaces already!

At least I have an explanation. I guess two spaces were needed in the days of the manual typewriter, and it was pounded into everyone's head that two spaces were necessary, even though the electric typewriter and computer caused that necessity to disappear.

And it's true. I used a manual typewriter, but only as a typing learning tool, and even when I started using the good old Apple IIe, I was told to keep doing two spaces.

I wonder why this convention is such a stubborn one to shake?

Relations Between The 2 Had Become Chili In Recent Times

Here it is, first food feud of the new year. And boy oh boy are we starting off with a bang...er maybe that should be astab to death.

Brunswick Sheriff Brian Roberts says 34-year-old Tiffany Harrison stabbed her husband, 28-year-old William Harrison, after a fight over the beans he brought home from the store.

"She said they had been arguing all day and things had gotten greatly aggressive in their argument, while preparing chili and arguing over beans,"said Roberts.

Sheriff Roberts says investigators became suspicious of Harrison after she drove her husband to the hospital, dropped him off, then returned home. "She went back to the scene and cleaned up and then came back to the hospital and that's when we got her and detained her," says Roberts.

William Harrison died shortly after being dropped off at the hospital.

Assuming the facts of the story are all correct, things ending the way they did for this relationship should surprise no one.

the happy Harrisons are said to have met in prison, where Tiffany's job was corrections officer and William's was being incarcerated. Tiffany was eventually fired,and the couple was married shortly after. When William was released from prison, he moved into her home where they lived happily ever until chili night.

Sadly, reports say that two children were in the house at the time of the stabbing.

Tiffany Harrison has been charged with murder and is being held without bond.

Even if she turns out to be a model prisoner, what say we keep her far, far away from kitchen duty? It would probably be best for everybody.

Maybe Now, She'll Get The Message.

Just because the idea is funny, here's video footage of a girl falling into a mall fountain while texting. I wish we could actually hear her falling, but the commentary is pretty amusing, so here ya go.

Name.Fail

Hmmm. I think the good folks at Research In Motion could have thought a little harder when they picked their careers website. I mean, come on, rim.jobs? Seriously?

Or were they going for shock value? I have to admit I haven't forgotten where I would look if I were interested in working for RIM.

If You Had Dreams For These Kids, They Died Today.

Let's start with a soundtrack,shall we?

Ok, picture this. You're a kid, about 12 years old. You notice a blue cube on top of a filing cabinet in a classroom. What do you think you should do? If you respond by saying nibble on it, you're not alone, and you're also very very dumb.

It all started in a classroom at Martin Luther King Jr. Middle school. A kid saw the blue cube on top of the cabinet. For some reason that makes no sense, this kid went over to it and took a nibble. "ooo! A cookie!" the kid said, at which point 6 other kids decided to join in the om nom nomming.

Then one of them started to wonder if this was such a good idea. It wasn't. What they were all chowing down on was rat poison. Thankfully, it was a kind that really doesn't do too much to humans in the amounts they consumed.

But my question is why? By the time most kids reach middle school, they know not to just put random things in their mouths because it's not safe. Just listen to the soundtrack. Is that aimed at 12-year-olds? Hell no! Shouldn't that make the point?

They say this will prove to be a good life lesson for the kids. I think it's a life lesson that has come way too late.

What Would You Like On That, Sir? I'll Have Some Peppers And Some Forgery Charges.

Sometimes that whole if at first you don't succeed, try, try again thing isn't the best strategy for living your life.

It most definitely wasn't in the case ofWilliam Peppers,who was bound and determined that no matter what, he was going to get himself some Edwardo’s pizza. He almost did, aside from the part where he got arrested instead.

Peppers placed an order for $51 worth of food and attempted to put it on a credit card. Actually he attempted to put it on a few credit cards, two of which were denied and one that had just been called in by its rightful owner because of some unauthorized activity.

Employees at the restaurant alerted police, who decided that they'd bring dinner to Peppers. Dressed as a delivery man and with an Edwardo's sign on an unmarked squad car, an officer took off to fill the order. Once Peppers signed his receipt, he was arrested and charged with felony forgery.

So far there haven't been any details on court appearances or sentencing, but my money's on 30 days and he's free.

That Deaf Mute Illiterate Guy, Sure Makes A Good Drug Mule

Usually, if one form of communication doesn't work with someone, another one will. He speaks another language? Fine, find an interpreter. He can't read? No problem, read it to him. He's deaf? Ok, get someone who can sign or write notes back and forth. But what if the person you're trying to communicate with is deaf, mute, and can neither read nor sign? Now imagine that guy is on trial. Just how in christ do you communicate to him what's going on?

The weird thing is this happens more than I would have thought. According to the article, there are quite a few deaf folks leaving school with what is called little to no language competence.

So my question is how do these people survive? I mean, you can sort of get by with pointing to stuff, but there comes a point where you need to say something more complex. And how do they stay sane? I felt frustrated when I couldn't express myself adequately when I was in Quebec because I just couldn't find the words in French from time to time. But I knew I was never really screwed because if I had to, I had another language. The world must be one scary place if your only means of communication is facial expressions and pointing.

Get Both Your Snakes Away From Me.

You know how I have this thing for snake stories. This one just gives me the creeps. Two guys used a snake as part of a sexual assault! Ug. Shiver. John Bullock and Damonta Jones are two sick individuals.

I really don't have anything else to say except ug.

A Real Girlfriend I Have Not, And It's Been On My Mind, I'll Stick My Hand Inside My Pants, And Play With What I Find

For future reference, none of the following are good explanations when the police catch youstaring through a woman's apartment window while masturbating with your hands in your pants through the front zipper.

• I'm spying on my ex-girlfriend.
• She's a co-worker of mine and man, I'd really like to score myself a date with her.

or even this, which turned out to be his real story...
• I haven't had a girlfriend in a really long time and I've never met this woman before, but she's a big help in the masturbating department.

Floridian Juan Miguel Cuadra, 35, was booked into the Broward County jail on indecent exposure, voyeurism, and loitering charges on New Year's Day, but later released on a $100 cash bond. No word on future court appearances or dates so far, but we'll keep you posted.

Lee Paige Lawsuit Shot Down, Possibly In The Leg

I'm sure to a good number of you the name Lee Paige will be a familiar one. Hey, it's not every day that a gun safety expert shoots himself in the leg during a demonstration. Well maybe it is, but he just happened to be the one who got caught on tape doing it back in 2004.

In an update to his story, thelawsuithe filed against the government back in 2006 claiming that the leak of the video subjected him to endless ridicule has beendismissed by a federal judge.

the court order can be found at that link, as can the video of the incident in case you'd like to watch it and ridicule the man a little more.

I Want A New Drug

I have no idea what sort of drugs Jon Lajoie was on when he came up withthis,but if one of them happened to be Retaphin, sign me up...maybe.

The Looong Holiday Post

Well, it's about the middle of January and I still haven't written my tradditional holiday epic. It's a doozer, like always.

First, updates about stuff I mentioned before. Mr. Postman never brought that last parcel. Oh well, if all works out, Steve can ask them to resend it and we'll be able to give it to its intended recipient next time he comes to see us.

I got away to catch the greyhound bright and early, although I think I looked pretty funny dragging two suitcases down the hall. Little me, big suitcases. I don't know what it is about me, but I always end up leaving in a panic no matter how hard I try to get things done. But all my luggage and I got on the bus, met up with my sister and company and got home without incident. The only thing of note was at the Greyhound station, I heard an announcement to the effect of "Attention all passengers. There are some items which are considered restricted and must be packed with your luggage and not carried onboard. Please consult the list or speak to a customer service agent." I bet this is all because of the Tim McLean incident. I would have loved to have seen that list.

The holidays always go so fast. Without fail, I want to see more people than I possibly can. Oh well, we do what we can.

It was a nice quiet Christmas, and I definitely got some cool stuff. The funniest moment in the present-giving happened between my mom, my sister and I. I had gotten my sister "Half Broke Horses" by Jeannette Walls. I had spent a bunch of time telling mom about the book and praying she hadn't already read it. My sister opened it and said she had not read it. Then, out of the corner of my ear, I heard her say to my brother "pay attention." Then my mom opened my sister's gift to her. And what was it? The same book! We all had a really good laugh. Here I was unintentionally building up the gift my sister had got for my mom!

I can't say the same for Steve's Christmas. As he said, in pretty quick succession, 2 of his family members had to make 3 ER visits and another one got a flu. Thankfully, none of them had anything life-threatening wrong with them. But that's way too many visits to the ER and way too much illness over the holidays.

We went over to my aunt's place to see my dad's side of the family, and those cute little twins I talk about so much. They're just so adorable. Two things they did that cracked me up: One of them was fascinated with Trixie and kept petting her and trying to get her to lick him. I took her harness off so he could. At one point he just stuck his finger right in her ear. She didn't even flinch. I told him that he probably shouldn't do that with most dogs and got him to pet the rest of her. It was fun.

The other thing he did was he decided he was going to make me a drawing, but it had to be out of glitter glue. He then told me that it was a potato, but it was raised up so I could feel it. Aww. How thoughtful! I could have just hugged him. I hardly ever see him, but he somehow got the blindness concept, at least for that moment.

Trix settled in as usual at mom's house. The only weird thing that happened that I'm still trying to figure out is one day, she decided that the two sets of open stairs at mom's house were just not climbable. She has never had a problem with them before, and then one day, she started scrambling up the front stairs. I first thought her paws were still wet and she slipped once, but I wiped her paws really carefully the next time. She still scrambled up.

Later, She went down the two open back stairs to get a drink of her water. Then, she stood at the bottom of those two stairs and looked up at us as if to say "Please, please help me. I can't do this." One morning she stood down there for 15 minutes! I thought maybe she just wanted to be down there, but then mom saw her looking up at us forlornly.

At first mom and I thought she had developed a fear of open stairs. So I started standing at the top of the stairs and calling her up while holding a treat. She would still scramble up the stairs. She would always go down them fine, but up was where the problem lay. So, the treating thing wasn't working. I tried it a few times, and at one point she wouldn't go back down. She couldn't figure out what the meaning of this was.

So, I started heeling her up the stairs on leash. I thought if I could show her again that they were cool, maybe we could stop the scrambling. That proved to be a bit more dangerous than I had planned, because she would still scramble, throwing me off balance, and then getting her down to do it again was kinda tricky too. But that seemed to be getting the message through a bit. Mom wanted to carry her up and down the stairs but I thought that was probably not a good option. She may need to guide me up open stairs at some point. We need to solve the problem, not skirt it.

Then we went to our buddy's place that we like to go visit, and he gave her a shoulder rub, and she yeeped! She yeeped at a shoulder rub? This got me worried that there was something physically wrong. But to make things even more perplexing, the next day, as magically as her aversion to open stairs had appeared, it went away!

So, my only theory is that she had pulled something ever so slightly and now it had worked itself out. But if it was something physically wrong with her, why wouldn't it hurt to go up the closed stairs? She had no problem with those. Trix, you puzzle me sometimes.

It's funny the things Trix does consistently at my parents' place that she never does here. For example, she goes back to the bedroom and puts herself to bed at about 10 each night. What's more, if I don't come to bed within the half hour, she comes out to get me, then walks back there again as if to say, "you! Bed, now." She also wants to keep tabs on the pack at home. If she hears the door, she runs out and walks between us as if to do a head count.

We fixed her doggy wagon when it came to exchanging gifts, and it was completely by accident. Every Christmas, without fail, Trix has run out and tried to run around with wrapping paper or tape or something. But this year, because we exchanged gifts so late, she put herself to bed! So, she would only come out on her mission to collect me for bed, and then leave. Sweet! I'm not saying that I would rearrange my schedule to do that again, but it was cool.

I really hope that Trixie's raisers like what I got them this year. It wasn't much, but I hope they liked it. All I did was get my mom to take some holiday pictures of Trix, some inside the house and some outside, and send them in a card. I hope they didn't think I cheaped out on them. But I think the most important thing I can give them are pictures of Trix as she gets older so they know she is well-cared-for.

As for Trix, she got a new bed for Christmas. that beloved bed that Trix's raisers got her is showing signs of wear. I haven't had the heart to throw it out yet, but I know I have to soon. So, my folks went out and got a new one. She seems to enjoy laying in it. She looks so cute when she's all nestled in there.

Before I knew it, it was time to head back here. As much as it's nice to go home and see everybody, it's so nice to get back to my own home too. I think we wore poor mom out, but that may have been due in part to whatever cold was refusing to leave her alone.

New Years was quiet again this year, and for the foreseeable future, I think that's how we prefer them. It's just too hard to come back and then throw a giant party.

Then...oh then! Poor Steve got struck with a flu the likes of which I have never seen. It was so bad that we decided to get him to the ER because he was beyond average flu guy sick and it was getting kinda scary. I mean, when the huppy's mom came to get us, she described him as yellow. By the way, thank you, huppy's mom, for your oodles and piles and heaps of help. It is super mucho appreciated. Then, after things were looking more hopeful, the lady in the ER described the way he looked when he arrived as "gross." Um, eek?

Thankfully, after waiting for what seemed like aeons, they saw him and started giving him fluids by IV. That seemed to pep him up from almost dead to just awfully sick. I never knew awfully sick was an improvement, but Steve that day proved that it could be seen as one.

And here's a little note to someone I'll only know as lipstick girl. You need to get your priorities straight.

1. You don't come to the emergency room just for the hell of it. If you need a little something checked out, go to your family doctor or a walk-in clinic. The ER the day after New Years is not the prime day to get a little something looked into.
2. Yes, you can live without your lipstick. It is not going to kill you to not have your lipstick.

and finally,
3. When sitting by a guy who can barely stand, please refrain from constantly whining about the wait to see the doctor and how badly you want to go home. There's the door, you know. Just let triage know you're leaving. You made me want to give you a reason to be in the ER.

But, I do have to thank lipstick girl for giving me practice in exercising restraint. At least she was useful for something.

But this flu is a humdinger. I thought that other flu was bad. It didn't take either of us to the ER, so this flu wins hands down. Also, poor Steve is still recovering from it, although I think we're close to saying he's completely cured. Very, very close.

I was holding off to write the holiday post until the huppy got his Christmas gift, but I think maybe this thing is becoming a monster without adding that in. Maybe his reaction to it will deserve a post of its own. If it doesn't, I could probably make a whole post about huppy updates. He's the cutest little guy.

What can I say about 2010? Hmmm. Not a whole heap. The most significant event was my sister getting married, which definitely is pretty significant. But for me personally, things have pretty much stayed the same. The one thing I regret is not working harder to figure out what training I would need to do this web accessibility stuff on a more serious basis. Hopefully this time next year I won't be saying the same thing.

What I wish for 2011 is that all this bad news slows down. This first week and a half or so of January has been so full of bad news that it gets a little overwhelming. Please, universe, level out. This is just too much, too much bad stuff.

So I hope everybody had a good Christmas, or at least a relatively peaceful one. More importantly, I hope everyone's year is, or soon becomes, a good one. There's still a whole lot of it to go, I hope it turns around!