Money Well Spent

Did any of you watch Wrestlemania last night? If so, what did you think? Me, I thought the show was great for the most part, and surprisingly worth the money. I didn't do worth a shit on the predictions that I was far too lazy to write up and post yesterday, only managing to go 4 for 10. Ouch. But even though I was surprised by some of what went down, most of them were good surprises and in the end that's all that matters.

When I talk about good surprises though, unfortunately I can't include the JBL vs. Finlay match. The match itself was fine, but JBL going over? Seriously? Nothing against him, but this father of the midget storyline needs to end like right now, sooner if possible. It's in no way interesting, and come to think of it, if there's one thing that's been even more confusing than
Big Show Mayweather,
this is it.

Speaking of which, Floyd vs. Show was miles ahead of what I expected it would be. It ended up being a No Holds Barred match where you could win by pinfall, knockout or submission. Floyd won by knockout after using a chair and some brass knuckles. I figured he would win, because rarely does a celebrity come in to do the job. I was talking to our old friend Matt during the show, and he was worried about what the loss would do to Big Show. Personally I don't think it'll hurt him, because Show has been losing big and not so big matches for years and people still buy the character. He'll bounce back from this just like he has everything else. The crowd wasn't happy with the finish either as they were solidly behind Big Show all night, but still, decent match, way better than history has shown boxer vs. wrestler matches to be.

While we're on the subject of things Matt doesn't like, the streak lives. Undertaker beat Edge to win the world title in what turned into a hell of a match. I thought things started off kind of slowly, but when I think about it now, that's exactly how it should have gone. Edge lost nothing by losing this match as he was booked to kick out of or counter everything Taker threw at him, right up to the end when he got caught and tapped out to the gogoplata after nearly having him beaten. I'm sure they'll do a rematch at next month's Backlash, and I'll be looking forward to it. And Matt, I couldn't disagree with you more about Undertaker needing to go. In the last couple of years he's had some of the best matches of his career. Christ, he managed to pull more than one fantastic match out of Batista. He should be holding every title in the company just for that.

In other title action, Kane took on Chavo Guerrero for the ECW championship. Ok, not so much took on as completely squashed to win. I think the whole match might have gone 10 seconds. Did Chavo shit in somebody's bag or something? I have no idea why it was booked that way, and I'm not sure what you do with Chavo at this point. I suppose you could rematch him with Kane once or twice, but what then?

One of the biggest surprises of the night to me was ECW's CM Punk winning Money In the Bank. Man, am I the master of the segway or what? I expected MVP to win unless Matt Hardy got involved. He did, so hopefully we'll finally get the United States title match they've been building too for months. Anywho, MITB was great as it usually is, and I loved the finish with Punk and Jericho each coming close to getting the win before Punk hung Jericho in a ladder Tree of Woe and got the case. On a side note, I hope Shelton Benjamin is still alive. That was one scary bump.

Can somebody tell me who Kim Kardashian is and why I should care? Based on my research, which consists entirely of watching her appearances on Raw and Mania, all I know is that she is a wooden statue of a robot. Please tell me she's not an actress, because judging by the way she delivered her lines last night, she's not qualified to deliver pizza. Jesus fuck she was terrible.

I enjoyed the Triple Threat WWE title match, especially because Randy Orton won. Seriously, as soon as he hit that kick to Triple H and covered Cena, I cackled like a madman. I'm no fan of Orton, but given the choice of him, Cena or the H's as champ, I take Orton hands down. It's the only way to keep things at least somewhat interesting. The only question now is who ultimately takes the belt from him? My guess is we'll see CM Punk jump to Raw and cash in his title shot. Considering who the champions are right now and the possibilities for new title feuds on Raw, it's the only thing that makes any sense. Now that I've said that, we'll probably get the same damn match again at Backlash and Trips will wind up pinning him. I hope not, because I'd hate to see the show continue to be stuck in that rut. There's nowhere you can go with Cena or HHH as champ right now that we haven't already gone a million times before, so please, do something different.

The only talking I'll do about Bunnymania is this line where I say I'm not going to talk about it. Oh, and yea Santino Marella, just because he's great.

That brings us to the true main event of the evening. No disrespect to anybody else, but Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels was what everybody came to see. And hell, they put on a show. I've read a couple of people saying that the match didn't live up to expectations, but based on what a lot of people were looking for going in, there's no way it possibly could have. I really enjoyed what we got. It had drama, mat wrestling, table spots, even a bit of blood, though not as much as you'd probably think. and post match, with Flair walking out to those huge cheers, that's something I wish I could have been there for. I can't believe that as of right now the wrestling business exists and Ric Flair isn't wrestling in it. That's going to take some getting used to. I'm sure he's got a job in WWE for as long as he wants it and I'm sure we'll see him again, but the idea that he's not a full time wrestler anymore is a hard one to get my head around.

The final word on the show is that it was much better than it looked going in. if you've got the money to spend and want to see some history, definitely get a replay.

The Babs Journal: Day 16 (May 24, 2005)

Long day, am tired and low and lacking in confidence. Went out in the morning with her, exhausted, stayed up too late. missed her peeing. Went out again, caught some of her poop but not all of it. Didn't even feel her back do that thing. How am I going to get this right by Friday? When on long leash to busy, can't reach her easily to touch her back, but short leash is too close for her. So must figure out how to do it on long leash.

Came back inside and we did have a delicious breakfast. I ate it so fast. Then I did my laundry..had to do it all in one load. Was tired, sat and played with her for a little while, am worried she doesn't really like me, doesn't like to put leash on, tries to get away, does she trust me? Do I trust her? Why didn't this low point hit sooner?

Well, you were on your way here, that's for sure.

Legs hurt, very stiff. Went out on walk, couldn't focus. Legs cramped up, had to shorten walk, was sad. Came back to check on clothes. Dryer didn't dry them. Tried again. Found Margery's bra in the laundry room so brought it to her. Played with Amy, brought mine in and they played together, ha ha. Babs thinks she's the alpha dog. She jumped on Amy and made like she was trying to hump her. She also stole Amy's bone and tried to drink her water.

So that's why now my dog is the humpee. It's revenge!

I think I was covered in golden retriever hair. Anyway went out again, oh in the morning we went through a congested market and the dogs had to focus. I was having a hard enough time focusing, let alone my dog.

In the afternoon we did country walk, which was easier than I expected. Basically it's walking down a country road with no curbs on either side, just shoulders and ditches. It was still stressful, but not as stressful as I remember suburban walks being. So that was this afternoon. Am supremely bagged now. Bagged times 10.

Came back, took her out for a something, still no good at telling what I've got. Fed her, and took her out again, found some poop I missed from before so picked up. Damn it. Got our centenal heartworm/flee/tic control pills that I'm to give her on June first and once every month until they're gone...and then get them again in the spring I guess. Was hard to focus on vet because bagged. Couldn't ask about lump because she was in too much of a hurry. Damn it. Want answer soon.

Left for dinner, was exhausted, feeling low. Dog was being sorta bad, was wondering if I was giving enough praise. Feeling scared to leave and sick of people bitching about the weather and the sandwiches. A. at least it's still pretty damn good weather considering what it could be, and b. yeah sandwiches suck, but at least someone's cooking for us. Please, it could be worse. We could have to train *and* make our lunches. But I know it's just their way of dealing with being tired, missing their families, and we're all getting on each other's nerves. But part of me is afraid to leave. part of me is just terrified. What if I don't trust her? I still catch myself doing silly things because I don't trust her yet.

Went out for dinner, ate, was good, took Babs to bathroom stall. Was an art. Even with being a disabled bathroom stall, was interesting holding a sniffing dog and fighting with the door.

Had the first nitwit try and pet my dog and succeed in harnesss, ran off before I could tell him off. Arg.

Came out from restaurant, went to place for night walk. Was terrified. Why am I still losing confidence? Terrified of messing up. Sue was there too. I dropped the handle once and asked if I crossed ok cause she freaked me out cause the up curb was huge. Rest of the walk went well, except my legs are sore. Somebody just wheel me around when I get home, ha ha. Pain pain pain! Sue says we're doing well. Came back here exhausted. dryer still didn't work right. Super arg. Dogs seem exhausted. I'm exhausted. Should take pills and crash before I fall asleep where I sit. Bagged. Bagged and then some.

The Babs Journal: Day 15 (May 23, 2005)

Today was interesting so far. Went out on individual walks. Sorta felt more comfortable. I always feel a wee bit nervous when I start off, but we seem to fall into place.

Or so you led yourself to believe.

Had one crossing where she danced so we were facing into the middle of the intersection, gotta get used to detecting that.

that would be the signal to instructor Tim to help me get used to that! Knowing you're going home in 4 days and are having trouble aligning is not a safe plan. But he would just help me fix it by turning me the right way, but it was always rushed.

Then I took her out after the walk and she peed and I could tell she peed. I'm getting better at that. Oh and I actually picked up her poop. Guess I missed some...but I didn't step in any, and I knew she pooped! Yee ha! This is getting easier.

Poor Margery, Amy had an accident in her room. She seems very frazzle fried, poor woman. Everyone's in a low mood today. Tim and Sharon and Margery are now all taking their dogs out into this grassy little run because they thought they'd go better. They all did poop I guess. Think that's all that's happened so far.

Today I speak to Babs' puppy walkers! Heehee! chinese food tonight...mmm...chinese.

I have these mixed feelings. I'm excited to be done, but I'm afraid to go home. Everybody else is really anxious to get home. Tim's really super lonely and pessimistic, Sharon's counting the days and celebrating. I'm just nervous. Getting a little better considering I can figure out what she's doing now...but still nervous.

Now we're going to group free run the dogs. This should be interesting to watch. They wanna play. I guess I should get there.

Well that was fun...did a whole bunch of group obedience, and threw in a whole bunch of distractions, things like, oh, say, Buddy the kennel cat coming by, being teased with toys, kibble, each other, but they misbehaved, and we were able to hold onto them. Cruel tricks on the dogs.

No. That should have been going on every damn day.

Then we let them loose. They had great amounts of fun...and out in the damn paddock, I stepped in poop! What is with my attraction to poop? Instructor Tim had to clean my shoe.

I don't know what's with Babs. She has her nose pressed to the door and won't come when I sit on the floor and call her. I worry sometimes that she hasn't bonded with me...na. It's probably just cause she's tired from the free run. That must be it.

Go with your gut, past self! And what were you smoking that a nose pressed to the door is a sign of being tired? That's a sign of the dog wanting to go after something!

Crap! It's 5:30 that I have my call. So I have to get her all fed and pooped before then. And I still have to groom her today. Today's just been chaotic. Fun though.

My dog escaped. I opened the door and she had her nose pressed to it and then ran out. I got her back though.

What did I say? What did I say? Hahahahaha!

Then I went to find instructor Tim to call my puppy walkers, and found out Margery got lost outside. Ok, you walk out the door and you make a slight right and there's a fense. Follow the fense and you'll find a gate. Open it, take your dog into the grassy poop pen, find the gate again, turn around and go back and you'll find the door. Not Margery. She ended up by kennels and who knows where else? oh dear dear. She was so scared she said "piss on it, I'm not using the grassy poop pen...I'm using the other run." Poor woman is just shaken to the core. Poor poor woman.

Well anyway I talked to my puppy walkers, and I was so nervous. I was trying to think of things to ask her..and the only thing I could think of was what was Babs like as a puppy and what toys did she like? She likes congs apparently, and was a real chewer. She interrogated me though. "What job do you do? Will you be taking her? What children will you see? Where do you live? Send me pictures! I will be coming for a visit, expect me..." My god I felt like I was being screened for adoption. I was so nervous that the call didn't last long. Then I ran Babs out to busy and got in the van and we went for Chinese.

Poor Margery was so quiet I just wanted to take her aside and give her a hug and say it's alright, we all get lost sometimes. Hell leaving the office after the call I thought I was going to get lost in the maze of doors. But I found the right one thank god.

Babs was so dead to the world after her free run that when I shook the leash, she wouldn't budge. Eventually I got her up.

Dinner was yummy. The only funny thing that happened was I bent down to see what Babs was doing, and got this big hand in my hair. I'm like Margery, I'm not Amy. We all had a good laugh, including Margery.

After, we came back and Tim read over the qualification packages. I hope all that stuff is on disk. Apparently a lot is. One thing that pisses me off is they assumed before that someone would be around to fill out your monthly report forms with you that you send back for the first six months. Um, dude? Even if I had tons of sighted friends around, who's going to have time to sit and help me answer 20 questions once a month? Not really anybody. Oh well if it's not on disk I'm sure they'll find a way. And the sheets on access rights for guide dogs were in print. Ok there guys. Sure I can scan them, but why not just put them on the disk? Hello! Oh well we'll see when I get the disk and find out what's on it.

Then I bought a beany buddy for my neighbour. So that's done. Then Sharon and I got talking. She's funny. I was really starting to think she didn't like me because there were a lot of bitter comments flying around about what we were eating, how many days were left, I was just like gees am I that annoying? I just figured I'd lay low.

Gotta remember to tell fund raising Steve tomorrow that mom and dad are willing to empty the Walmart guide dog.

Margery's so funny. In describing what Amy was doing in the poop run, she said, "Oh, she'd jerk off to the left and jerk off to the right." We were having trouble not going into spasms of laughter. I think we did rather well.

I think that's about it. I'm tired. I should sleep. It's late. Babs is snoring like a buzz saw.

Today's The Day The Teddy Bears Hump Their Picnic

Ever since
that poor bastard in the UK found himself on the sex offender registry for having relations with a bike,
Carin and I have had this odd fascination with stories about people humping stuff. It's not that we're looking for pointers or anything, it's more about what will and won't get you labeled a pervert in the eyes of the government. Well ok, that and stories about people humping things are funny, who are we kidding?

Anywho, I ran across another one this morning, and a dandy it is.

Ohio resident Arthur Price Jr. has been charged with 4 counts of public indecency after an anonymous informant provided 3 DVDs to police showing Price
having sex with his picnic table.

According to NBC Toledo, Ohio, affiliate WNWO-TV, the videos show Price tilting the metal round picnic table on its side and then laying up against it to have sexual intercourse with the table. Afterward, he can then be seen cleaning the table and the deck.

During questioning, he reportedly admitted to having sex with the table. Police said he also admitted to bringing the table inside his home for sex.

Yeah, definitely indecent, but you've got to at least give him credit for cleaning up after himself. It's good when people take pride in their homes.

The Babs Journal: Day 14 (May 22, 2005)

Well not much else happened yesterday except I found another lump on her other side. I'm wondering if she's biting herself. She licks a lot...who knows?

Upon reading that, I don't know what ever happened to that second lump. I don't remember her having lumps, plural, until after the first lump exploded when it was being removed and then spawning began. But I don't remember what the other oddity turned out to be.

After almost falling asleep in the lounge again after talking to Sharon for a little while and having student Tim thank me profusely for letting him leave the centre, oh and talking to a friend and my parents on the phone, I took Babs out for her last free busy. Sniff sniff.

I slept in this morning...not long though, I was awakened by a groaning moaning licking playing dog. She must have been supremely confused because usually I put my shoes on and put her leash on her and we go. Well this morning I have to grab a bag, I put my coat on, I was kind of slow, I grabbed the food whistle so I'd have it, etc. I took her down, and put on these gynormo rubber boots that I could swim in to go out into the busy run. This is so if you step in doggy dung, you don't end up tracking it all over the wild blue yonder. I put her in long leash when we got outside and said "busy busy."

Amy was out in the other run so I don't think she did anything. Maybe a pee. I don't know. I stood out there for a while. Then I brought her back here which confused her as well, left and got her food and I sure had to go. Then I brought her food back and she was as good as gold. Then I took her out for another attempt at busy, don't know, maybe she peed. I'm not good at this yet. It's hard because on long leash I have a hard time reaching her back without cramping her space. You're supposed to put your hand on her back so you can feel which way she's got it pointing to know if it's pee or poop. I don't know if she did anything. She's awfully quiet, which leads me to believe she did something. I wish someone was watching. Really really wish someone was.

I have to remember to take the rubbers off as soon as we step in the door, because I think I tracked something half way across the grooming room. Sorry buds.

After we did that, she tried to visit Anka. I still had my shoes in my hand and so couldn't restrain her. She went straight for the lounge. Fulll speed.

Hey dumbnird. Put your shoes on before you start walking.

Anka doesn't like the way Tim holds Willow's leash to prevent her from chewing it. She says, "If I was your dog, I'd bite you." Crazy funny woman.

Breakfast is at 8:30 this morning. Did I mention the game she played on her last free busy? Pop her head up, I try to put a leash on it, and then she pops it back down. Oh well , no matter, there are no more free busies now. And I mentioned the leash bone game right? I pick up the leash, she picks up her bone. Silly girl, bone is going to go in a drawer when she goes on the leash. She seems so calm...did she busy? I don't think so..maybe pee. I took her out two more times, no poop that I can detect anyway. But apparently none of the dogs wanna poop yet. I guess they have to wait this long so the dogs will be ok with it.

Na, we could have done this before.

The grooming room stinks. I swear someone tracked in poop. Icky. Poopy boots.

I gave my sheets to Anka. She's funny, making innuendos that student Tim and I are going out. He's old enough to be my dad. hell he has a 17-year-old son for christ's sake. I just want to give him a change of scenery like I'm getting. Try to do something nice and people get all childish.

Pleas don't poop in the car, Babs or Willow. Please!

I dropped my pj's in her water dish. Arg. Scared the crap out of me because I thought she pissed all over them. Doesn't look like it though, even her food whistle got wet. Oops.

Ok so after repeatedly taking her out for a poop, she wouldn't poop all morning. My parents show up and I go out to meet them. Then I get student Tim and then I bring Babs in. Everything goes well. We take her out and we all go for lunch. That goes well, but it is a bit exhausting. Just to think of everything and keep her from licking things, etc. Dad wanted to go into this candle shop full of narrow aisles and breakables. Just the thought of it made me want to fall over with exhaustion. Thank god mom sensed it, because I didn't have enough courage to say no.

Welcome to guide dog life. At first, it's one hell of a lot of work. I pity anyone who runs headlong into a denial of access issue when they're newbs. That's just too much to deal with.

And keep in mind that when we were out on this excursion, she only had the body piece of the harness on, no handle. So, there was no guide work she could do.

That was also dumb. WE either can leave the campus with the dog as a guide or we can only leave the campus without the dog. None of this in between bullshit.

Mom and dad took pictures of her. Yea. Then we brought our dogs back to see if they'd do anything. Well mine pooped, and I stepped in it! Yup! Planted the heel of my rubber right in it. Squish! I tell Anka and she cleans the boots. I didn't feel anything! It happened so fast. But it appears my dog is the only one to poop thus far. But it had to be my dog's poop because we ran into Heather the kennel lady who said there were some left over poops out there from last night that she was cleaning up, which meant there was none left to step in.

We go back out and go and get the thank you cards and the few little things I wanted, and mom bought me a book. Yea I have something else to read. We came back and took her out and...on turning around, planted my boot in more busy poop. Damn it! I don't know if it was leftovers from the last busy, but yuck! It's really hard to give your dog lots of praise for going busy when you're gagging at poop on the heel of your rubber and cursing yourself for stepping in it. I managed to get a bunch of it off with the bag in my hand but there's still some on there. I don't have the heart to tell Anka again. Maybe the kennel people will see it. I'll just use another pair and warn Sharon about the poop pair.

Or you could always clean it yourself, you lazy bum. Do you think you're too good to touch poop? If you do, well, you've got a lot of learnin' to do.

So poop and scoop day 1 ain't going so well. Well in some ways it is cause my dog's the only one that went crap. Everyone else is waiting for theirs to burst. I fed her and took her out and then flopped over, tired. She's tired.

I went to supper and she was a royal devil, creeping around under the table. I wasn't too hungry because mom and ddad stopped at Timmy Ho's. Oh well. It was a hard goodbye when mom and dad left. The dog was sniffing like hell cause someone came to visit Sharon who had a guide dog. I guess everybody but Sharon went out for lunch. Poor Sharon, left to eat a sandwich.

What else happened? Oh Margery we notice is saying commands you only say in harness while the poor beast is on leash. Oh dear. Don't know if we should tell instructor Tim so he can catch her at it. Maybe we should because he was very clear about not using those commands while the poor thing was on leash.

Oh yeah, this morning while I groomed Babs, she actually lay down. I tried that to relax her hoping she'd go poop. I guess we all tried that and no go.

That's about it. My baby is flopped out. She's snoring. I still have to make my bed, I still have to put everything away. I'll have to do my laundry tomorrow because I'm too damn tired to do it tonight.

Ha ha ha ha ha I warned you that wasn't a smart plan.

Mom and dad think I've lost wait. The walking's making me all fit and stuff I guess. Did I write about the dogfood aisle? When we went to the grocery store to get a few things, we ended up in the dogfood aisle. Poor thing was going nuts. Licking her lips, sniffing, going looloo. We left the aisle pronto.

Am tired. napped for a while. Should pee and take dog for a pee. Ber it's cold. Ber ber ber!

Fell asleep so didn't get to make phone calls. Feel really bad about that. I promised at least one person I'd call them, and well damn it, I missed them.

Help GDB Get A New Puppy Truck

I just thought I'd throw this out there because maybe it would help.

Long story time. At intervals that I don't really know or understand, GDB's puppy truck goes from town to town, giving new little poop-making furry bundles of joy and house-destroying potential to puppy raisers so they can spend the next 14-16 months turning them into well-behaved dogs who are used to being out in public. . The puppy truck also picks up dogs that are ready to go back to the school for their formal guide dog training. From time to time, there are retired guide dogs on the truck being taken to their new adoptive homes.

Back in early January, the puppy truck was involved in an accident when another truck smashed into it. I guess the accident was pretty major, because the retired guide dog on the truck died in the accident, the driver broke his pelvis and suffered other serious injuries, and the school needs a new puppy truck. Luckily, all the other puppies got out ok, but it's still sad for that retired guide dog's x-handler and her raisers who were going to take her back as a spoiled pet.

So, here comes the request. If anyone wants to donate some money to helping the school get a new puppy truck, you can do so by giving to the Guide Dogs for the Blind Heroes fund. If doing it online isn't your thing, you can send your donation to:
Guide Dogs for the Blind
P.O. Box 3950 San Rafael, CA 94912-3950 and specify that it is for the Heroes Fund.
Or, give them a call at 1-800-295-4050 and tell them you want to give to the Heroes fund.

I'm trying to put the word out there, since the fund is staying kind of well-hidden, and I don't think that's what they want. Let's help them get a new puppy truck!

The 30 Dumbest Videogame Titles Ever

I don't play a lot of videogames, but I do know funny when I see it, and
this is pretty funny.

Spanky's Quest
Super Nintendo - 1991

Premise: Spanky is a monkey with balls. Throwing these balls is his way of attacking enemies, and at the end of each level there's a boss. All very traditional, all very entertaining.

But come on! Spanky the monkey? Japanese developer Natsume -- most famous now for its Harvest Moon titles -- was either disastrously fond of Western euphemisms, or simply terrible at picking innocent game names. Would you pick Spanky the monkey off the shelf for your kids?  

Touch Dic
Nintendo DS - 2005

Premise: More a tool than a game, Touch Dic is a dictionary and translation title for the Nintendo DS, using the console's touch-happy stylus.

We want to say this is a game-naming FAIL, but we just can't. It's from Korea and is now on the shelves as Touch Dictionary. But we'll never forget the day our pals at GameSpot first told us there was a game called Touch Dic... happy, happy times.

How To Be A Complete Bastard
ZX Spectrum, Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC - 1987

Premise: Invade a party for rich folks and demonstrate your boyish skills of being a complete and utter git, by for example loosening the screws on the handles of the disabled toilet.

This wonderfully tasteless game was always for the Bart Simpsons of the world. Nothing similar has ever really been made since this game was released -- if it were, the combined uproar from Fox News and the Daily Mail would wipe out life on Earth. A classic retro game to check out if you ever get chance.

Somebody please tell me you've played a few of these.

Stripped Of All Words

Allow me to catch my breath again. So, if a 12-year-old is found dancing nude in a strip bar, that is *not* immediate grounds for license suspension? Why the hell not?

As an extra bonus, I think it's fitting that one of the people charged in connection with making her dance is named Demonica, and that's her legal name.

Smile For The Camera And Say "Stupid!"

You know, if you've just had your portrait done, you should pay the bill, because chances are you'd be pretty easy to identify, since the people you stiffed still have your portrait. I love the term photo fools.

My God, He Was Serious!

Ok, the first weird thing about this story is the story itself. You know your principal has flipped his lid when he calls a meeting of science teachers and says "get those standardized test scores up or I will kill you all and then myself. You don't know how ruthless I can be." What's double weird is the Dalass Morning News has pulled all evidence of it, and it's only two days old. I had to grab it from a google cache of the story. If you type the principal's name into google, it doesn't find him. Has he disappeared? Isn't it standard when an error is made to correct it, not pull the whole story as if it never existed? Or was an error made? I don't even know. Creepy stuff.

Ouch, My Nipples Hurt Thinking About That!

Note to anyone interested: Don't go to Lubbock Airport if you have nipple rings. If you do, and they set off the metal detector, you have to remove them,even if it means using pliers to get them off. Shiver shiver shiver! What possible danger could a nipple ring pose? If they know it's a nipple ring, like if she shows it to a female officer in private which she offered to do, then why does she have to remove it? Shiver! Shiver! Goose bumps! Everywhere!

Do Joo Know Where Juno Came From?

Apparently, I'm a terminal loser and have been misspelling the name of that damn fake dog. It's Juno! Woops! I've been given a correction!

I'm weird, and think about strange things sometimes. Well, from looking at the blog, I think that's obvious. Anyway, my newest strange thing I thought about was the fake guide dog, AKA the instructor on the other end of a harness simulating dog movements, and how most schools call it Juno. I wondered where that came from, and how it came to be almost universal.

I turned to google, old buddy, and it didn't know! So I asked a mailling list I'm on, and I heard something scary. Nobody really knows! The older guide dog users don't know, the guide dog schools don't know, nobody knows! It's just become something that exists, and nobody knows why. I think it's kind of sad that something that's a huge part of guide dog training has lost its factual roots.

And then part of me wonders why I bothered to look. It's simple. I like to know stuff. But this one will stay a mystery. Has anyone been given a reason for the selection of the name Juno?

Pointless Quiz Of The Day

What is your chocolate personality?

I'm posting this because we haven't had a time-wasting quiz in a while and because I was surprised to find that it was actually right.

Your chocolate personality is: Medium Dark
You prefer dark chocolate but you occasionally eat milk chocolate.

There are only 5 questions and it takes maybe 2 minutes tops. Have fun, and feel free to post results if you wanna.

The Babs Journal: Day 13 (May 21, 2005)

Well I'm tired today...started off tired.

My dog has strange habits. Did I tell you she likes to lick my jeans? She also likes to try and sniff my crotch, especially while I'm getting dressed. Really, not necessary there Babs. A little too personal for me thanks.

This morning it seemed Babs needed a little more love and attention than usual. She's a funny girl. When I took my morning pills, I took her to her bed and told her to stay and she did.

Oh another cool thing she did this morning was I forgot to grab my food whistle when I was coming to feed her. But she sat and waited while I went to get the whistle. Yes! She's not testing me that way
anymore. She's still playing the leash game, but we'll get over that one.

We're going out early for a group walk. Heehee wow! Mom and dad said they'd take student Tim with us for lunch if he wanted to come. I have to get instructions from instructor Tim about how to get here from Renfrew.

Another funny thing Margery says is warsh instead of wash. It kills me whenever I hear her say it. Warsh. Hahaha. Well I should probably get my hair into something a little more presentable. Rat's nest just doesn't appeal.

That was cool, for the most part. Even got a comment from a passer-by that she's the cutest guide dog he's ever seen. The only booboo, major one anyway, was this one street crossing which was a fine example of my screwuppitude. I was pulling my dog out into the street! I thought she was being a real sniffer, so I was like straight. She wouldn't have any of it...dragged me back onto the sidewalk.

On the way down, she was sweet awesome cool. Focused as focused could be, sat at the curbs, was a doll.

I have to stop here, and talk about the sitting at curbs thing. Why why why why why why did they make handlers tell the dogs to sit at the curb? If we didn't know the curb was there, how are we supposed to issue a command for it? Dumb. Dumb dumb! This applies to steps down as well. Triple dumb!

Then we did a back turn and she thought she'd just diddle around. Sniff sniff try and lead me up driveways, refused to sit at curbs, went past one curb, sniffed the other dogs' butts cause we were all out together, and then because of all that, when it felt like she was going more left than straight, I was pulling her right. Dumb dumb. But she was stronger than me and got me up onto the sidewalk. Then I heard Tim, "Give your dog lots of praise cause she was right."

Next time, she did try to pull way too far to the left. But I was a lot less hard on her and just sorta waved my hand and said straight. We got to the other side. Wow. That was damn cool.

Poor Margery though, she could only go the first 8 blocks and then she had to sit on the bus bench
and wait for us to come get her. Instructor Tim is a smart man. he put her at the back. We all got up to the corner and then we waited for her.

There was one street where my legs hurt like a son of a bitch. I wonder if my feet have changed shape or something because my orthotics seem to be bugging me. Damn it I don't wanna have to make an appointment with the foot people. They're a pain.

Right now Margery's out free running her dog. Then we eat lunch and then I think we free run our dogs and then at 2 student Tim gets to talk to Willow's walkers, and then we go on a walk I think and then Sharon calls Charity's puppy walkers...and then we have supper.

We also weighed the dogs. He didn't tell me the weights. I wanna know I wanna know. They say when they first get home they lose weight cause of all the stress. Good to know.

But my poor Babs only gained weight. I think it was because of all her tumours.

After I took her out to poop, and according to Tim she pooped and peed, yippee, I brought her back here and gave her some water. Oh she was happy to see water. Such a thirsty girl.

Oh we stopped at Timmy Ho's and I got a small French Vanilla capachino. Student Tim bought the coffees. I was like aww you're so sweet. I owe Sharon some money from the cheesecake..and the groceries...and the anka gift. Did I mention that we got the Anka gift pretty much bagged? We decided to get the mug and coffee and then get the chocolate as well. So got the mug and the coffee last night.

Wow Babs is flopped out. She was so vocal this morning. It was so cute. Well that's about it for now. I got directions on how to get to this place from Renfrew so I better email those off before I forget.

Anka continues to crack us up. Sharon said something about going to cry in her room. Anka said, "that's alright, in my country, if someone cry, we say, that's alright, means less to pee."

This afternoon was interesting. After lunch, instructor Tim's wife and son showed up and ate lunch with us. His son is cute. Maybe 6 or so. Babs loved him. She ran over to him and tried to say hi. I felt bad having to hold her back.

Listen, past newby self, don't feel bad. That was your problem. You felt bad about controlling her. She shouldn't have reared up on her hind legs to kiss the little guy, whether she knew him or not. Not cool, not cool!

Eventually I did get her to settle. After lunch, he told Margery how her puppy walking tea would work. You come in with your dog, and then Sue takes the leash and gives it to the puppy walkers and lets the dog be silly for a while. After a while, they hand the leash back to you and you talk about stuff and there ya go. I guess we all get puppy walker thank you cake. Mmm...puppy walker thank you cake. I would have loved to see Babs's reaction to seeing her puppy walker.

Apparently, according to the scales, she's 49 pounds. Didn't I say before she was 52? He says that's some kind of scale messuppitude so we have to re-weigh on Monday. He says they lose a pound, but not 3 or 4, and all the dogs seem to have lost 3-5 pounds.

Then after lunch I tweaked the directions for mom and dad. Before I did that, the dog played a new leash game. I gave her her bone, and she had nothing to do with it until I picked up the leash. Then the bone was a great toy. Then I took the bone away. No more of that crap.

After lunch and the email, I took her out for a poop. We waited for student Tim to finish up his call, and then we all took off, except for Margery because she had her puppy walkers coming. Off we went for a walk in the rain. Yick. Wore my rain coat, should have worn my rain pants, but didn't.

We walked down and crossed three streets, then turned and walked and crossed three more, then turned, crossed two more, then turned and got to the next down-curb and turned and said "find the bus," and she did.

Some minor screwuppitude on my part, made her sit at what I thought was a curb and it was a driveway. Woops. Was nervous on a crossing, but it went ok, she sniffed to beat the band, but what can ya expect after the rain?

Actually, from Babs, you can expect complete and utter loopitude, including but not limited to: extra sniffing, not walking in a straight line, not getting back up on the sidewalk, and other horrors. You would learn this when you got home.

Jesus murphy my legs hurt like sons of bitches. Holy man alive. I don't know what's happening. I need these suckers looked at cause this is nutty crazy wacked out. I was dying at one block, so much so that I made her sit.

Oh man. At one point, after Instructor Tim said "jeepers," both Sharon and I said, "twist?" Then we all started laughing. Sharon got to hear Margery say "Damn sam." She busted up right in front of her.

Now I'm waiting to free run Babs...yick she'll be a muddy muddy mucky mess. She already smells like wet dog. I toweled her off some, but it was hard.

This was funny. After our afternoon walk, the routine is poop, feed, poop, lounge, right? Well I thrrew her for a loop today because she's going for a free run so you can't feed her for like an hour after the run, and certainly not just before. So I took her for a poop, and just for good measure, I kept telling her to steady. Well, that was necessary because she was trying to rip my left arm off. But I was slowing her down, etc. I took her into the room after her poop, well I don't think she did jack diddly because she was so bent she was going to get food. We came in here full speed, I was trying to stop her so I could take the collar off etc. She ran straight for the dish...which only had water. I've never seen her put the brakes on so fast. Oo she was so disappointed. I just stood there and laughed. I felt sick for laughing, but it was just so funny. I took the leash off, I think she's so confused. Poor thing. So confused. Man that was funny. She would not even take her bone. I offered it to her, she sniffed it and threw it down. It's llike, "are you trying to trick me? Is this food? You asshole! How dare you!?!?"

I think that's about it. I felt a little slow on the afternoon rain walk cause at one corner, instructor Tim said, "Tim and Sharon have already made their turns. Go ahead and make yours." I felt like Margery. I asked Sharon, was I jeepers twist slow? cause we had to wait a good long time for her, and she's like no. Don't know if I believe her. We'll see what student Tim says, I think he'll be honest.

This is the point where I look at the reflection of my past, raise my open palm, slap that face and yell "shame on you! Shame on you for being such a catty, shallow, stupid human being! What does it matter if you were Margery slow, or if she was slow for the love of Pete. She was 72. I think she had earned the right to walk that slow. Why would you sink to that level of under-handedness? You are better than that, and you know that! This isn't a competition. You're all trying to get a dog. Get over your insecure self and get on with the task at hand!"

Well Margery's puppy walkers just finished up. Arg Sharon's at the phone! Why isn't instructor Tim coming back for me? come on I wanna free run. Gotta take my play collar and the whistle.

Oh, tired. Free ran her. We took her out into the paddock with the whistle in pocket. First you do obedience so you know pooch will come when you call. No listening, no free run. Then you keep walking to keep the dog checking in. Well first you take her into the paddock, with the leash still on her, you put the play collar on. Then you take the leash off and hold onto the collar. Then you say "free" and give her a shove. She should take off. At first she just sniffs around. Then she takes off like a shot. From time to time you whistle at her and have her come, but that doesn't mean the walk's over. We gave her a piece of kibble each time she came and praised her like mad. You have to keep moving. Then at the end, you put the leash on, grab the collar off her and lead her home. She didn't wanna leave. Brought her in and went to take her out for a poop but Tim stopped me. He showed me how to leash-relieve her.

We interrupt this program to look at the day number on this. Day 13. I would be going home in six days, and just now, I am starting to leash relieve. At no time would I be supervised to be told what my dog was doing. I would have to figure this out all by myself.

So we start that tomorrow morning. you move the d clip up to the other ring so she has a longer leash. Then you take her out and then say "busy busy." She peed and I didn't even feel her sit. Didn't have a clue. He showed me where the bags are. So tomorrow morning, I will groggily pick up poop. It begins. I hope I'm half decent at it.

God my feet are sore. Ouchy ouchy papa.

Anka really doesn't like the f word. Every time she absolutely needs to use it, like if it's in a story, there is a long pause and then she says, I'm sorry, I have to say...and then she says it. She's really cute. I think she's afraid to swear around Margery, or "mrs. Margery" as she calls her.

Tired, sore, sore, tired. Ouch ooch eech. I think I'm going to drag myself to the computer and check email for real. Not much more can happen tonight. Might try and make some calls...maybe I should do laundry and get it over with before tomorrow. Na. I'll do it after mom and dad are gone.

Ya sure you wanna do that?

And I still have to groom this one. We did obedience already as prep for free run so I won't bother her with that. Sore and tired, tired and sore.

Here's What I Think Of Your Stupid Water Bill.

I have learned several things from this article about a man trying to pay a water bill with a cheque written on toilet paper. They are:

1. Don't piss off Ron Borgna. If he doesn't agree with you, he will fight to the end, and so he should.
2. The town of Binghamton has a lot of pricks in city hall. I hear you saying, "What's your point." I'm getting there. Despite the fact that his water bill was four times what it usually is, and they can find no earthly reason for the increase in usage, they'll make him pay the bill.
3. It is possible to write out a cheque on a t-shirt if you can show proof that you have the money in the account. What would be weird is cashing that cheque. The only apparent reason they wouldn't take the shit ticket cheque was because toilet paper can easily be destroyed.
4. The town of Binghamton is going to be spending a lot of time rolling coins if Ron Borgna has his way, i.e. paying the 2000-dollar bill in change. He has decided to pay it because if he doesn't, it's going to screw up his property taxes. To this I say, ha ha ha ha ha Binghamton. That's what you get for being unreasonable.

In A Related Story, New Research Suggests That Bears Do In Fact Shit In The Woods

Does the fact that some of the more Conservative leaning callers to radio talk shows are scripted by the government surprise any of you? Because it sure shocked the heck out of somebody over at the Canadian Press, at least it seems that way if
this little gee whillickers, look what I found article
means anything at all.

Seriously, this should be a revelation to exactly 0 people. Politicians trying to swing a public discussion in their favour? Say it ain't so!

The only newsworthy aspect here is that we don't read stories like this on a daily basis, which then begs the question, why don't we? Are the rest of Canada's political parties so honest that they would never engage in such despicable behaviour, or have they just not been caught yet. Or, and I hate to suggest such a thing, are we dealing with a case of somebody with a bug up his ass deciding to pick on one party while giving the others a free pass? I'm no fan of the Conservative party, but I know a dig when I see one, and if this isn't a dig, then the bosses down at CP headquarters need to come up with more for their reporters to do because we're getting into Breaking News!: The Pope Is Catholic! territory here.

The Babs Journal: Day 12 (May 20, 2005)

Well it's Friday. Next Friday I'll be packing like a mo fo and going home. Hope I remember how I fit everything in. And no zipper-splittage! Can't believe I have all my stuff plus more. Yeesh! Glad I've got mom and dad picking me up.

This morning was rather uneventful. No pretend slaps from Anka, no great big laugh fests, nothing like that. It was pretty low key.

Speaking of Anka, we decided that instead of Timmy ho's stuff for Anka, we're going to get her some German chocolate from this dellie. That would be way cool. Decided that yesterday at lunch.

Babs played a lively game of let's roll around in front of mom to avoid getting the leash on. But I managed to win that one.

Shit I have to wash my teacup. Must remember to do that. Hope Anka didn't do it already. The last thing I wanted to do was leave her more work.

I wonder if Margery's watch will go again. Her watch went yesterday, back to 12 midnight, and she somehow thought it was 12 noon and we'd all left without her. Gees Margery I'd never do that.

I hope we go on another tandem walk today. That was so much fun. So much fun. She had a good chew on her bone last night...she just loved it. I like to give her her bone after a hard day. Not much else has happened yet today, except we got talking about another guide dog whose name sounded like quicky. Now we've got Quicky and Goodscrew. Oh dear. Going down hill.

Have to do her grooming/obedience. I love getting that over with first thing in the morning. And it doesn't take long either. Then I'm free as a bird.

Maybe after, I'll go out on the patio. Yesterday afternoon was so nice on the patio. Margery and I took our puppies out there and let them catch some sun. Oh that's the other thing we're gonna do on Saturday, free run the dogs. That'll be fun.

This morning I noticed that I can sometimes just say door and she'll sit. Beautiful, it's starting to come.

So this morning I have to wash my teacup and do her grooming/obedience and then maybe check out the weather. Then maybe I'd have more interesting things to say.

Well that walk was fun...except she tried to take out another guide dog. Silly girl. I guess she thought maybe they'd have a confab about schools. Hahah. But we managed to get her past a yappy little dog, which I thought was damn Good. IT was a pretty good walk. I figured out why my legs start hurting. It's when my shoes come loose or close to untied. Then I start walking funny to keep my shoes on. I do it subconsciously so I don't even realize it.

Wow it's cool to walk with her and watch her tail wag. It wacks me sometimes as we walk. Then I don't feel like I'm working her so hard. It's like she's having fun.

Before we went out, Margery and I took our dogs out on the patio. Then I brought Babs into Margery's room and Babs and Amy had a little play. When I groomed her, I noticed a little scab under her fur on her back near her side. It was very attached. I think it was from when Babs got caught in a little altercation with Charity and Willow in the hall. They bite around there. I showed it to instructor Tim and he says not to worry. So I can relax. Just have to get this lump resolved. Hurry up hurry up hurry up.

It seems she likes to be groomed, she drooled on me when I was doing it. I think that's a good sign hahaha.

I really am starting to think like a dog. I went to go straight to lunch, and then I thought, "no no, she needs water." So I brought her in here and sure enough she slurped down some water. Thirsty little thing.

It's so nice out there. So beautiful. Yesterday afternoon was nice too. I like the beautiful days. Well I should go and chow down. Later.

Well we got the rules for the visitors. Should be interesting. When they come, they are to be kept to the front of the building. When I first meet them, I'm not to bring Babs. Then I bring Babs out and they're to ignore the dog to keep her from getting excited. Then they can say hi. My parents are going to have a hard time with that. But that's the scoop and I wanna follow the rules and not have a problem.

Poor Margery is completely confused. She thought visitors were coming this afternoon, then tomorrow, then finally she figured out that it was Sunday.

We might get to go to DQ next week. Excited about that for sure. So it's back to the Gleib again. Wonder if it's for a tandom walk. Heehee. Love them love them love them.

Oh yeah, I can't say ok at corners because Babs thinks that's synonymous with forward and takes off. So must watch my words.

Mom is going to help me get the card for Tim's present. Yea. Then that will have that all wrapped up. 50 bucks at Canadian tire should be pretty damn good.

I should probably steal the computer. Today's the last day to enter into the Japan contest.

Tired. Exhausted. Will try to sum up rest of day. Went out for afternoon walk. Was good, but found out later that Sharon and Tim got to do it tandem. But it would have been a busy street so would have been hard. Anyway would have looked forward to another tandem walk. Oh well, we did pretty well except for my dog trying to say hi to a dog tied to a post.
Found out Babs likes to catch flies and has a fear of bumble bees. Came back and ate supper, found out we're doing our first group walk which is way cool. Had chillie for supper and headed back to room before going to Tim Hortons to take my pills. Dropped pill. Dog got it! Opened dog's mouth but pill was gone. Dog sensed my panic and started licking me frantically. Ran to van white as a ghost afraid of what 10 mg of hydrocortisone would do to dog. Feeling stupid. They told me not to worry because they do give dogs cortisone for stuff so it won't kill her. Was completely distracted at Timmy Ho's, wolfed down my half of a chocolate cheesecake thing without really tasting it. Wasn't able to talk much because I felt so damn stupid and terrified of what would happen to her. Babs tried to eat gum off the bottom of the table. Scary Jane and her daughter were there. We eventually left and came back home.

Margery almost let her dog poop in harness. Bad! Bad bad bad!

Came back and went over a bunch of CGDB merchandise, bought dog boots.

Went to room and gave dog her bone, she chewed it a while. Talked to mom and dad, dad seemed really mad. Really really mad. Don't know why, wish I did.

Talked to Sharon a little while. Came back here, will crash. Will sleep soundly I'm sure. Tired. Tim says not to worry about the pill, he's probably right. That will never ever happen again. Jesus she ate it so fast I didn't have a chance. Just crunch. Jesus.

Ok, crashing for real this time.

Funny Trixie Tidbits

I seem to be pretty low on things to blog today, but since Trixie always provides me with stuff worth mentioning, here are some more things that I thought were cool enough to post.

One time, I had a nightmare. I can't even remember what it was about. But I guess I made a noise as I woke up. Trixie was disturbed by this noise, and decided that she had to pull a Lassie. She walked out to where Steve was waking up, and started snorting at him to get his attention. Then, she pointed herself down the hall. So, he followed her, wondering what was up, and she led him to me. I told him what happened. I can just hear the show. "What's that, Lassie? There's trouble at the old mill?"

Another time, I think I actually saw Trixie having a doggy nightmare. She was sleep woofing, let out a big one, and then came running to me. Poor thing.

I don't think Trixie realizes that dogs bark in their sleep, it's normal, or that she herself does it. When Barb was here with Rosamae, Rosamae started barking in her sleep. Trixie did not like this at all. She got up, ran towards her and barked at her. Silly thing. I think it startled her. I've got news for ya, Trixter, you do it all the time.

It's funny. For a long time, I've been calling Trixie "Trix". Apparently, there was another guide dog whose actual name was Trix. Woops! Now she's retired, but apparently I was calling my dog the same name as a german shepherd.

Trixie does one thing that gets the same consistent response from everyone who sees it. They all go "I've never seen a dog do that before!" What does she do? She stretches out on her belly, but she puts her hind legs straight out behind her, as straight as possible. She looks really weird. I wish I had a picture of that to put up.

She also runs out to a carpet or something and slams down so hard that she makes a horrible thump skid noise.

Remember the other day when I said she responds to ancy pants? Well, she also perks up when I say "genius." I was staffing a booth a while ago, and I was talking about her amazing memory, and I said she was a genius. Just then, she perked up and looked around as if to say, "You rang?"

Does anyone else have a dog who gives you a kiss and also a zap? I don't know exactly why, but nine times out of ten, when Trixie is playing around and gives me a lick, I also get a zap! What's with that? I don't even know if she zaps Steve when she licks him. Maybe I'm the weird one.

Trixie did something way cool the other day that just solidified that she knows the difference between on and off harness. On our dog day anniversary, I thought it would be fun to take her on a big flexi. Well, nature had other plans. It was a nice sunny day, but the ground where we usually flexi was in horrible shape. There were lumps and bumps, glare ice and soft snow, and occasionally, bits of grass. I quickly learned that it was not safe to be on the end of a flexi being pulled unpredictably by a dog just trying to have fun. She seemed to find the ice really fun, and was trying to skate across it while I slid unsteadily behind her. If I could have let her free to skate, I would have, but since we don't have a fensed yard, it was flexi or nothing. I stopped her long enough to put my ice grippers back on, but that wasn't cutting it. At one point, I heard Craig's voice in my head. He was one of the retrains who was there when I was getting Trixie. The voice said "I'm here because my dog that I just got in October was running on some ice on the flexi, slipped and fell, blew out her knee and had to be retired." Those words reverberated a couple of times, and I decided to bring the fun to an end for both our sakes.

I put the harness back on and said find inside. Trixie stood there thinking for a minute, and then started walking. If we're in an open area and it feels like she is walking in a purposeful direction, I just trust her to find the way home. She usually does. If she doesn't, she finds something else I can use to navigate. She started walking, stopping, walking, stopping, and then she took this twisty, turny route...completely avoiding the big ice patch. You go, Trixie, you go! Then, we got to a place to step down, but she did not approve of it, not one bit. I checked, and I couldn't blame her. It was a steep slope of ice and snow! She edged me over to a safer place, got us down, and couldn't have been more thrilled with her work. I was thrilled too, and bent down and gave her a hug. I thought it was neat that that happened on our dog day anniversary. It was really special.

I don't know why I haven't mentioned this, but Trixie has a serious love affair with Steve's little brother. I remember the first time she saw him, it was when we came for his birthday. As soon as I took the harness off, she wanted to give him the biggest bath ever. She was all over him! At the time, I was paranoid that she would bond to him and not me. Na, she just thinks he's super cool to see every once in a while. She still loves him. It's that radar. She knows who the animal-lovers are, and can seek them out. He would definitely be one of those.

I feel like I'm forgetting something, but I can't think of it. Oh well, if I remember, I'll just throw it in another Trixie thought hodgepodge. Hope you enjoyed this one. I love putting them up. It's so cool to have all these neat things written down.

The Best Laid Plans...

Ya know, it's great to plan ahead. But when it comes to robbing a convenience store, maybe calling to make sure there's cash in the till before you drive down there isn't such a good idea.

The scary thing is it worked in two previous robberies! How does that happen. Someone calls saying he's coming to rob you and not to call the police. What can he possibly do to you if you already have police there to get him? Nothing! Call them! How is it possible to pull off something like that?

It's also not a good idea to call a muffler shop and say you're going to rob them, and when they say only the manager has access to the safe, leave your cell phone number with them and tell them to give you a call when he gets in. Oh you'll get your call returned, but they'll be ready for you when you get there.

Wow, stupid robbery stories never get old.

You're On Fired!

Erie, Pennsylvania firefighter Mary Wolski has gone to court to get her job back because she says her termination violated her constitutional rights.

The reason she was let go? While trying to take her own life, Wolski
set her father's house on fire.
No mention was made of whether or not she also helped to put it out, something that might have helped her case a little.

I don't know why she thinks her job should be returned to her. As Fire Chief Tony Pol quite rightly points out in Wolski's termination letter, setting somebody's house on fire makes you not only unsuitable for the job, but also makes you a danger to yourself and other people.

To me, letting her continue to work would be a lot like letting a sex offender continue to function as a priest. Ok, bad example. It would be like allowing cheats and criminals to serve as elected officials. NO wait, that won't do at all. Let's try this again. Bringing her back to the department would be like letting somebody with more than one DUI continue to own and operate a vehicle. Oh never mind, you get my point. And as long as the people in charge of making important decisions for Erie's fire department do too, everything will work out just fine.

The Babs Journal: Day 11 (May 19, 2005)

Man I didn't sleep well last night. I couldn't get to sleep. Sometimes at night I worry about what will happen when I get back home. I worry that then, when I have to take care of all my other stuff and her, will I be overwhelmed? And will I be able to know what to do if instructor Tim's not there to help me out? I mean I think I do ok, but he's there to sorta guide me. I guess I'll find that out this afternoon because we do the first tandem walk. I know I'm just worrying too much.

I also wonder if I'll find places for all her stuff. I'm not too worried about that, but it pops into my head. Stupid things. I know I just worry too much. But you sorta think about those things when it's getting closer to the end. I know I still have a week, but this week flew.

I also get scared about what Tim thinks of me. He's so respectful to all of us, even though Margery's doing things that i'm sure are making him go, "holy crap will you be able to handle a guide dog?" If it isn't, I'd be wondering. He's very observant, and knows I second guess myself. I wonder what else he thinks. I would love to see inside his mind.

Babs is starting to play funny business with me. When I get my leash, she rolls around on the ground and avoids me. Testing level 4. Silly girl. I'm just hoping that's not a sign of something else. Ah, probably not.

God I'm still hungry. I had the usual bagel and tea and stuff and I'm still hungry. Is my stomach expanding or something?

I have an idea for Anka's gift. Maybe mom and dad could get it when they're down.

Anka's getting vicious with her jokes. I think she's just kidding, but Tim was going to order some chips and she said, "No chips. Look at your stomach, it's on your legs. You shouldn't have chips. You're like my daughter." So he jabbed her back because she started coughing. Oh it just kills me to hear her cough. Anyway, he said "stomach on my legs is better than hack hack hack." Then we all started
laughing about shishkahooq again. Stupid commercial.

I can't believe it's Thursday. God I need to be in a better mood. The radio isn't helping. Oh well.

I don't know if Babs likes being groomed anymore. That makes me sad because every other dog seems to like it, what am I doing wrong? And I feel too embarrassed to ask instructor Tim to watch me do it. How hard is it to run a comb through a dog's hair? Like hell how hard is that? Part of me wishes there were more newbs in the class...but then again, maybe they wouldn't be brave enough to ask either. I should just swallow my pride and ask. People said to ask about whatever before you go home.

And I hope I'm not hurting her when I'm walking her on leash. Sometimes she overextends herself and I feel like I'm pulling on her. But I guess instructor Tim would tell me if he saw something wrong.

Is it normal for me to lose confidence in everything I've done so far? I'd love to know, but am a little nervous to ask. Maybe if I catch Sharon or something. I dunno. What the hell is with my mood? Maybe Amy's blues are catching.

Oh, the plague of the newb. They're all too afraid to show weakness, even though they're probably showing it in actions instead of words. Just ask the frickin question. That shows more strength than you know.

Gotta remember to ask instructor Tim about how you cross at mid-block crossings, where there's a pole in the middle of the sidewalk with a button. There must be a way to cross those even if there's not a downcurb there. I don't know. Gotta ask him because I cross those a bit. He better not say, "you just don't do them." I'll be sad. I doubt it though.

I really hope it warms up to what they say it's supposed to. That would be nice. I wish we could watch the news tonight while we eat dinner. I wanna find out what happens with the budget vote. I don't wanna have to vote again. Arg! They're all slime, I tell ya.

Ber it's cold in here. I should take this one down and do obedience and grooming, provided she doesn't find grooming torture. She must enjoy it, she stays still for me, except for sitting down whenever I go to comb her tail, but I know no dog likes her tail combed. I just worry when I'm combing her underbelly. I should just swallow my pride and get instructor Tim to watch me because I'm worried. I don't wanna hurt her. I wish I could read her mind. Well I should get my butt in gear, then maybe I'll cheer up.

Well I did. We went on a great walk, and Margery says Babs is likely just testing me with the leash thing. Silly girl. We went and did more traffic work, it wasn't so bad as I thought and then we did a bit of off curb obstacles. Tim must work with some real nutjobs, because he thought he had to remind us what an off-curb obstacle was. And to think about safety when going around them. Well no shit sherlock. If there's fense and construction up there, there's no way in hell I'm stepping out into the street. Jesus Murphy.

Did I write about how Anka gave Tim the razz about having a big stomach? We have a couple options about how to get Anka's stuff. We might get her some chocolate. That would be damn good. And there's always the mug and coffee.

Oh, and instructor Tim says you can do midblock crossings at the pole thing. Rockin awesome cool.

It's such a nice day out there. I might have to go out and sit on the patio and soak up the sun. Oh there's Babs in her bed. Silly silly girl.

Poor Margery's watch is threatening to die. I might lend her my clock radio so she has something to check the time. It sucks having nothing to check the time.

We might have pie for dessert tonight. Mmm...pie! drool drool.

I'm starting to think like a dog. If I smell something down the street I think, hmmm if I were a dog, I would just be in sniff heaven. Better tell her to leave it. And sometimes, when I have to go to the bathroom, I wonder if she has to go too. She really does change your life.

This afternoon should be interesting. Wonder how long we're walking for since we both get out together.

Margery scared instructor Tim I think today. She almost took her dog out into the middle of the street. Man alive that woman is going to get herself killed.

Apparently we're all loud, we laugh so loud you can hear us through the whole building. Sharon calls me the birdy because I whistle and sing all the time. I must drive them all looloo. Well I should do a quick email check and then I might go out to the patio. Ooo sun on the patio!

Interesting. I'm called birdy in one place and Twinkle toes in another. That kind of makes me giggle.

Well this afternoon was the most amazing feeling in the whole world. That was the best. Oh it was my first real puppy walk because there was no instructor Tim leash.

Compare that to the Trixie days, where I got her on day 4 and started walking without the double leash in the afternoon of day 5.

I completely controled her myself and it went damn well! There was only one street I screwed up on but it wasn't your conventional street crossing. We did perfectly. I wanted to run down to the end of the street just to see what was there. I felt like flying! It was awesome!

Margery and I both got out of the van and we both walked our dogs, and we had to keep one behind the other and switch positions so that the dogs took turns leading and following so one wouldn't get lazy. I wanted to just sprint. But I had to slow down, and managed to slow her down, and felt in complete control. Her sniffing didn't even bother me. I was able to bring her back under control.

The apprentices just watched and it was great. one funny thing happened. When we came back to the bus, she almost gallopped to it. Mark says, "Get on and ride!" We had a good laugh about that.

She's the best damn dog in the whole world.

Well, she tried. Poor beast.

We walked for an hour and I didn't even feel it. The poor dogs were puffing and panting. We gave them a bit of water just to cool them off a little, but not too much because they might bring it all back up. Then we brought her back and I fed her and she actually behaved herself rather well. She's starting to realize that when mom says slow the hell down,
mom means it and if you keep bolting like a wild beast, you have to wait longer for the chow down. She's starting to sit if I just say door. It's great.

Student Tim, Sharon and I had a little confab about Margery. We think she'll be on about as short a leash as the dog when she gets home. Instructor Tim will come see her and then either say she's unsafe or tell her she can only take the dog to certain places. Poor Margery, has such trouble. Then Sharon and I had tea and that was cool. Ooo, have to remember to wash my mug.

Some of the dogs had a little play in the hall and the leashes got all hooked together. They managed to get them unhooked though.

I thought Anka was going to eat us alive just before dinner. We were sitting in the lounge watching the budget vote, and she came in and said, "come and eat or if you don't come in two minutes, there will be no supper for anyone." We all got up and looked like little kids. "Yes ma'am, yes."

We still don't know what Shish means in her language, whatever it is, she's from Bosnia. When student Tim joked about wanting Chicken Shishkahooq or whatever, she erupted into laughter and said we were being silly, and said we must know what Shish is in her language.

Dinner was absolutely delicious, probably because I was so hungry from the walk, and then we had pudding for dessert.

Heehee I'm excited, tomorrow night we go to Timmy Ho's. Then the next day, well, it's a bit chaotic. We have a morning walk and then we come back and get our dogs weighed, and then people see/call their puppy walkers, sniff sniff, and the rest of us go out for walks, and what the hell is Saturday night? I can't remember. Then Sunday is visitors' day. Then Monday is the holiday but we do more work and then we go out for Chinese, on CGDB's dime no less. Then Tuesday I know we're going for a country walk in the afternoon, don't know what's going on in the morning and then we're having a chat with the vet. Maybe I can corner her about Babs' lump. Then we go out to Swiss Chalet because student Tim was craving it. Then we go on a night walk! Hee hee! A night walk! All together! Heehee! Don't know what's up with Wednesday, but Thursday we graduate and then Friday it's all over. Yeesh! Oo I'm so excited to see mom and dad. Heehee. I think that's about all for today.

It's Just Nuts!

I know you can be convicted of real crimes, but imitation crimes? Why on earth would you charge someone with possession of an imitation controled substance? It was crushed peanuts! That was all! But the guy's in jail.

This School Board Needs Improvement

Here's a message for the Massachusetts Board of Education: Wouldn't you be better off spending your time and money fixing your under-performing schools than looking for a kinder word than under-performing? You know what they say about a rose by any other name? Well, it's true. People can see through the bullshit, so spare them, and instead of quibbling over words, uh, actually fix the problems so you don't have under-performing, or high needs, or priority 1 schools. Isn't that what matters?

Ladies And Gentlemen Of the Jury?

I don't know what it is, but there's something really weird about two jurors screwing in a courthouse bathroom, especially since they're jurors in the case of a child molester. I would think hearing that kind of evidence would turn people off sex. But because of these two wackos, the trial will be put on hold.

I can't believe these two class acts were among the people chosen to be on the jury, especially given the way jury selection is so carefully done. The pool must have really sucked. I mean, these people weren't exactly icons of discression in the sex department. Could they have been any better at hiding their true selves when it came to other things?

Any way you slice it, those are two citizens who were not very up-standing in either the literal or figurative sense.

Give Me All Your Money! No Really, It's Ok, You Know Me.

I just had an interesting and highly illogical conversation with a nice woman from the March of Dimes who was going around our building to sign people up for something called the Dime Plan, a monthly donation scheme to benefit the physically disabled.

She told me that I didn't have to part with any money today, but that if I was wanting to participate I would have to give out some basic information. Not being down with this idea for a number of reasons, I asked if there was a website where I could go to get more information and perhaps even sign up. What she said next was a line of reasoning I'd never heard before, and hopefully will never hear again.

"We like doing it this way rather than online because people know who they're talking to and it makes them feel more comfortable."

My response was something along the lines of "you're kidding, right? That doesn't make any sense, because I've never met you until right now and the only things I know about you are the ones you're choosing to tell me."

She didn't understand this, so Carin and I politely explained to her how easy it is to misrepresent oneself by saying that you're from someplace you aren't and doing something you have no intention of actually doing. It took some work, but it finally clicked and we got our website.

This little conversation made me realize once again how gullible a lot of us are. For this woman to be able to say to us with a straight face that we should be fine with dishing out our life story because she's standing right here so it must be legit tells me that this is far from the first time she's used that line. It also tells me that it must work. to me this is insane, but who can argue with success? Ok, I guess in a way I just did, but whatever. What I'd really like to know is why it works. It has to be that we're either spineless,
retarded
or both. whatever it is, we need to rise up as one and stop being it, and we need to do it yesterday. I know it sounds like a lofty goal, but if we could all make an effort to process what we're hearing for a few seconds, we might be able to put an end to the barrage of solicitation we're subjected to on a daily basis. It only works because we allow it to work, so quit allowing it to. It's ok to say no. The physically disabled won't haunt you at night. Hell, it'll be hard enough for a lot of them to get up your front steps or reach high enough to tap on your bedroom window let alone give you a serious haunting. So sleep well and for God's sake save your pennies. No wait, make that dimes.

I'd Like To Buy The World A Nail...

At long last, I have found the answer to a question that has been puzzling the world since...sometime last week. that question of course is how do you take a story about
the government trying to regulate a bunch of lunatics crucifying themselves
and make it even weirder? The answer is one of those things that's so obvious that I never would have thought of it in a million years. Corporate sponsorships. Yes,
Coca Cola and a phone company
have both paid to get their names on the festival. Seriously. I couldn't make this kind of shit up if I tried, it's the real thing.

I Think You Have The Wrong Sue

Hey, everybody who looked for "Sue Hawkins, deaf lady." Were you really looking for Sue Thomas? That FBI agent who got portrayed on a TV series? If you were, there ya go. As far as I know, Sue Hawkins has not become a deaf lady.

The Babs Journal: Day 10 (May 18, 2005)

Today is a strange day. It is the exact middle of the program. 9 days have passed and in 9 days I go home. Yikes! Time is flying. I'm slowly feeling more like I'm ready for this...although I still have twinges of nervousness. I'll probably be happy after aftercare is over. I'm a little nervous about that, even though now I know that instructor Tim is doing my aftercare.

God damn yesterday was embarrassing, forgot to mention that somehow, when putting the harness on, I got it all backwards. He must think I'm a dope. There I was with the harness looking more like a wide-brimmed hat than a harness. Arg! Oh well, he says the newbs all do something along those lines.

It's such a habit to hand the handle back to him...but this handle is mine, all mine! Heeheehee! It hangs on my door. Must remember to bring it every time. We take the bus today. I'm excited. Who knew a city bus could be so exciting? And yea, no socks were stolen or coin purses were abducted. Today I hope to give Sharon and student tim the money for instructor Tim's present. I really really really really hope van driver Mike happens to have two 10's or a 10 and two fives. I'm gonna need more money soon, although I've done well on the 60 I brought, considering 20 of it just went straight to the puppy picture.

I can hardly wait for Saturday, I get to call Babs's puppy walkers and talk to them on the phone.

In case you're wondering, puppy walker is Ottawa's term for puppy raiser.

They're not coming because they're all the way from B.C. I'm so jealous of Margery, Amy's puppy walkers are coming, and only hers. The rest of us have to settle for a phone call. I wanna ask them if Babs liked peanut butter, what toys she liked to play with, what her personality was like as a puppy. Oh I have a million questions. I wish I could shake their hands.

Why are my eyes tearing up? That was unexpected. Just sorta happened. That was messed. Wasn't even feeling really sad, but as soon as I started writing about them, I got all teary-eyed. It must be hard to have to see their puppy off.

Oh Babs and that moo of hers. She's so cute. I don't need an alarm clock. She wakes me up right on time. I somehow didn't have my alarm on...and suddenly I get lick lick licked. I think, not yet. Then I hear a dish banging next door and look at my watch and by jove it's time to get up! Like clockwork. And I noticed that she'll sit faster when there's food to be had. Oh then I can say door and she'll plop her butt down. Driven by food I tell ya.

duh! that is all.

I really hope my legs don't hurt as bad today. Oo I feel good. I just helped Margery with the laundry machine. I'm so proud of myself. Never touched the dials in my life and got it to go. Man oh man. That poor woman has so much trouble. And that little stool works like a dream. It feels so good to help someone else. She has such a rough time. Last night she couldn't tell the difference between a toony and a quarter. Um, wow. Poor woman. Don't let me lose the feeling in my fingers.

I should probably drag puppy down to do obedience...so Amy's not out there having a wizz. I know Margery likes to take her early. Then I'll take this one out for a pee. I wonder when we have to start scooping? I wanna start soon because I wanna get good before I have to do it at home.

We should have at least been feeling the leash. At this point, I had no idea at what times she'll pee, poop, nothing.

Well I'll let ya know how the bus went.

Ooo the bus. Heehee. Well the bus was cool. On a low floor bus they can actually guide you up to a seat. On the old buses, they have to follow behind because there isn't room for 2 to walk. Oh well, there are more and more of these low floor buses all the time. It was a pretty flawless bus trip. But this one missed a few curbs so we had to drag her back and make her stand at the curb. ooo can't do that in Guelph or we'll be pancakes! Especially at the first corner. Jeepers Twist in Margery's words.

Oh boy oh boy. Margery's laundry got into a bit of a mess. Student Tim didn't check where he was putting his laundry and double washed Margery's jammies. Woops. so then she comes back and finds someone else's stuff in there, so just leaves it in the wash and puts her stuff in the dryer. I think it's Sharon so I find her and ask her...and it isn't her. But poor unsuspecting student Tim just boots it right down to the lounge to eat, so I don't get to tell him until I'm at lunch.

Babs and Amy almost had a little fun. The lady who cleaned the runs didn't shut the gate between the two dog runs...and well Amy was out there. All the way over to my run. She must have thought this was the biggest busy run of all time! Instructor Tim stopped me just in time. and Sharon and Tim almost swiched dogs again because of the dog run fiasco. I can just hear it all now. "What colour is my dog, Anka?" But Sharon knew her dog a little better and knew this wasn't it. Man oh man.

I got Sharon all paid off for the instructor Tim gift. Then they just have to tell me how much I owe for the Anka gift and we'll be all good. I almost fed the money to the dog. I felt something brush against my hand and I thought it was Sharon's hand but then I realized it was Charity's slimy mouth. Brings a whole new meaning to money hungry, doesn't it?

Did I mention Willow tried to have a chomp on her leash again this morning? So we all started singing woe, here she comes. Watch out leash, she'll chew you up, woe, here she comes, she's a leash eater. God we're corny.

I almost lost my reflective sleeve. I was carrying it under my coat and went through a door, and boom! Down she went! We may have to shorten it a bit because if not, it may be all rumply bumply.

I messed up my harness handle a bit when I was putting it back together last night. But instructor Tim fixed it pretty fast. He scared me today. I said, "I made a booboo." He said, "What? AT this stage? No!" It sounded like we weren't supposed to make mistakes anymore. But my only booboo was I dropped the sleeve. I'm happy my booboos have just been mild.

I guess Margery had a rough time with Amy. Amy was out of sorts. I wonder if mine will do that ever.

Ask the parking meter you kissed when you got home if she ever gets out of sorts.

Poor thing, instructor Tim thinks she might have a bit of the blues. He doesn't know.

We will learn that there are a lot of things instructor Tim doesn't know. He wasn't aware that willow had a leash-chewing issue, he didn't think Babs would resist me reaching into her mouth and he certainly didn't expect her to clamp down harder, I don't know. I really don't know who was most responsible for training our dogs. I think he said an instructor named Jane trained Charity, and he said he did most of the training for Babs, but I don't know.

Babs was barking this morning out in the busy run...arg had to tell her to be quiet. and I guess after I left, she did it again and tried to climb the door. Crazy puppy.

Man the time is passing slowly now that I don't have a book to read. She's flopped out on the floor...maybe I'll pet her for a while. Yeah I've been speedy today...did her groomming and obedience already, aren't I the quick whip?

So this afternoon we play with cars. Holy crap tomorrow's Thursday. Wonder if Sharon needs any more Dove Soup. Hahahahaha. Oh poor Anka.

Man everybody's got their cute little thing they do. Margery always says "jeepers twist", "my land" and "damn sam". She wacked her head off the van top. Ouch! I felt that from my seat. Bang! Just hard as you could go. And all she said was, "damn sam!" Student Tim has this funny laugh. There's always a slight pause, and then he just laughs all out. Sharon has this high voice and says all her th's like d's. So it makes me laugh when I hear her say, "get off de bed." And we say bedbug just so she'll say it because we think it sounds so cute. And instructor Tim always says "this here". I expect him to be in a western movie. He always says, "there are two exits from this here room". "This here door leads to"..."we'll go down this here street." But he has no accent whatsoever. And that's what makes it funny. And Anka. When you finish one glass of something, you feel like the cup is bottomless, because quick as a wink, there she is filling it again. She seems tired these days. I worry about her. Her doctor is making her get blood tests done, don't know why. Really hope she's ok.

Our driver's very patient. Don't know who's driving us this afternoon. Maybe it will be Peter. Guess it was last Wednesday that we had our very first walk. Holy wow. It is Wednesday today? Right? Yeah that's right. In the words of Margery, Jeepers Twist. I think the transition is starting to happen in my head. I'm starting to not think of my cane. There were moments where I'd still think of myself walking with the cane. And I had to say consciously, "no, with my dog. Dog!" And sometimes i'd go to leave and think, "Where's my cane?" It's starting to change. The apprehension is starting to go...although the curb-missing makes me a little twitchy. But we'll get it going. At least my legs didn't hurt so much today. I should ask him if yesterday's walk was up a steep incline or something. I feel like an old woman. But I think Margery is finding this a hell of a lot more draining than I am. She looks so tired in the mornings and sounds so haggard when she talks to Amy. Maybe I should go pet Babs and then we'll go down and sneak an email check. Heehee. and then maybe it'll be time to take her out for a poop. And then off we go again.

Well today was an interesting day. I headed out for the van..and it wasn't there. So Margery and I waited close to the building. Then the dude who drives pulled up and we thought it was Peter. So we called him Peter the whole time. Turns out it was Marol or however ya spell it. But it sure wasn't Peter.

Now was the time to play with cars. At every road crossing, Sue would drive in front of us with her car and when Tim tapped me on the shoulder, I was to urge the dog forward, and gently encourage...and praise the dog for waiting when I said to go. My dog was an angel. Tried to go crooked, but that's about it. Would not move if there was a car. Then we came back and Sue said that we were all doing well, congratulated us and told us to remember we've only had the dogs for a week. Only a week, and we've progressed this much. Of course she had to remind us that our dogs have limitations and we still have to be smart. Duh. But ya have to say it or we'll have some nimrod crossing the street willie nillie saying, "oh my dog'll stop, I don't have to think." Sue's really nice.

We came back and fed, etc. and Tim helped me put the reflective sleeve on the harness so we can be seen bettter at night. We were afraid it would be too big because we had to make the harness tighter for my little woof, but it seems to be fitting. Then student Tim started giggling about some commercial we all hear while waiting our turns for our walks. It's for this farmboy grocery store. And this kebab or however ya spell it. These salmon shish kebabs and chicken shishkehooq or something. Don't ask, it's a radio commercial. So he starts saying that he's going to say to Anka, "it's my birthday next week, can we have chicken shishkahooq?" Just to see what she'd do. He did it, but we were all laughing too hard for her to take us seriously. Plus, she knew when his birthday was, I guess it's in our files, so knew he was pulling some kind of prank.

Anka keeps calling Sharon cheesecake because every dinner, she asks, "Are we having cheesecake for dessert?" So every dessert she serves, she says, "cheesecake" when she gives Sharon hers.

We don't know what Anka lives on. It looks like she doesn't eat anything...just smokes and drinks coffee. She and Sue Hawkins too. Very strange.

After dinner, we watch Margery get all lost while looking for the bathroom, or Mrs. Minnifer as she calls it. So Tim and Sharon and I all just get talking and laughing and then I slip to the bathroom, come back, and then Sharon has Charity loose. Charity who's real name apparently was Varity but they had to change it because they had another Varity. Anyway so we're all petting Charity. Then just as I go to get Babs for a poop, Tim and Sharon both decide to be bad and let their dogs loose. So Sharon puts Charitty's play collar on with bells and the race is on. I try to come through the mayhem with Babs, and she breaks
free! Now all 3 dogs end up in tim's room, having a grand old time. We finally get things back in order and Babs and I go to the room where her run is, laughing so hard. Now she's exhausted, she's had a chew of her bone and she's snoring like a baby.

So tomorrow morning we do more playing with cars, only the playing will be made more natural. Then tomorrow afternoon we try our first tandom work! Ooo! That means two of us with woofs. Two woofs without instructor Tim holding a leash! ooo!

Check the day number on this. It's day 10 of training, and this first walk without an instructor holding onto a leash didn't happen until day 11! We have less than half to go, because there's a day of rest in there, and one of those days we'll be heading home, and just now we've been given some freedom?

And then tomorrow night is a hangout night again and then Friday night we go out for dessert and coffee at Timmy Ho's. And then we come back and do doggy store shopping. Sniffle sniffle, I don't get to talk to my puppy walkers until Monday! Sniffle sniffle whine! Oh well, it'll be worth the wait.

Still no word about the lump! I just want to hear, yes, or no! please! Pronto! move! come on! hop up! Ok enough. Not really much else going on. Should probably go send this off and come back here. Babs is exhausted, chewed on her bone and now snores. Can't remember if I already said that.

The Babs Journal: Day 9 (May 17, 2005)

Wow, I'm up early. It's 7:15 and I'm all done.

I found out Babs likes socks. I've been leaving my socks out by my shoes...and well one of my socks ran away, to her bed, and inherited some dog slime. I had to go find it and bring it back. At least she didn't chew a hole in it. That's really funny...and the whole time I'm looking for the sock she stole, she's just rolling around all innocent and stuff.

It seems today was the day all the dogs, well most of them, revealed hidden tallents. Amy stole Margery's whole coin purse...and that thing doesn't look easy to steal, and Willow revealed that she likes to chew leather, specifically her leash! Chewed it so badly that he needs a new one! I think this morning instructor Tim speaks to upper management about the vet thing with Babs's lump on her
chest. Really worried about what the news will be. I'm so attached to
her that I couldn't get another dog if it was that bad, but I'm afraid of
how much it will all cost...and what it is. God I should stop thinking about
it. It can't be that serious because I press on it and she doesn't
flinch so it can't be that sore.

But then I learned Babs didn't let me know when she hurt.

Anyway, maybe I should start the journey to the breakfast table. then we all have to scoot like crazy people to take our dogs to busy, we all get in the big van and we get our I.d's done. me and my woof. Together in a passport picture.

Sometimes we have the funniest conversations at the breakfast table. Student Tim says that there was a student in the class he was in the first time that swore that a dog got named Goodscrew. We just laugh and say "come, goodscrew" and all fall over laughing at how funny that would sound. And there was this other guy who always would repeat things that student Tim rides with on the handi-transit in Winnipeg. Apparently one day he just kept saying, "clean it Bill." and singing about sugardaddies. So now all we have to say is "Clean it Bill!" and we all start laughing.

There was a reason I opened this. Oh yeah, we finally put our own harnesses on the dogs. We've been using his harness because it was nice and soft and stuff, but today we get the pictures taken and then we put the reflective sleeves on the harnesses and from now on we bring our own harnesses to the walks. Wow, heehee. One step closer to Babs being my guide woof!

And that was weird too. Why wouldn't we want to work in our own harnesses for as long as possible before we went home?

Today we get our pictures taken, then we do a short walk, come back for lunch, and then in the afternoon we go out again and then we have dinner and then we go out to a pub. Should be interesting. Got my money...money to pay instructor Tim back for the battery and then money for my photo. Don't know if we'll get a colour picture or black and white. It's just an ID. but should I go colour? I dunno. Later.

Oh boy. What a day. Went out in the morning with our own harnesses, and got our pictures done. We got on this bench so you and the dog sat together. Then you put your arm around the dog and they snapped the picture so your head and the dog's head are both in the picture. That was the cutest thing. We had to take two of Babs because she tried to look away. Camera shy I see.

Then we sit in the van, and one by one we all go on this walk. It goes well, pretty flawlessly...except my legs hurt like a mo fo and I don't know why. I had to keep focused on the dog to just keep going so I didn't feel the pain as much. I don't know why. That was kinda weird. But the walk ended in a really neat way. At the end of the walk, he let me keep the handle! heehee! I have a complete harness now. Complete with handle! Wow! Coolness right there.

So we come back for lunch, and then I groom her. Then I read for a while and take her out to busy and then we go on our afternoon walk, suburban walks...in the places with no sidewalks so you have to walk in the street. Eek that was scary. You have to keep checking to make sure you are actually close to the side curb. Then we came back and did the usual routine and ate supper.

At supper, I found out that this dude who my parents know who has a dog actually called to say hi to me. That's way cool!

Then after supper, instructor Tim took us out to a little pub place. That was fun. But we had to keep our dogs in check because they all wanted to lick the floor, especially mine! And who shows up to sit with us? Scary Jane! I don't know, but tonight she seemed extra scary. In my head I kept hearing her saying, "off ya go! Off ya go! Chop chop!" like she used to say when she was my instructor. Gave me the chills. Man she's busy, she has 2 retired dogs and one career change dog, that's the flowery way of saying they didn't make it.

At least at GDB, career change does mean they may do a different career. It didn't seem that way in Ottawa.

Tomorrow should be really interesting. We get to ride the bus in the morning, and then the afternoon, we get to play with cars as Sharon says..so they drive at you and you see what the dog does, or something. Something along those lines. And guess who's apprenticing for this school to be a trainer? Ben Francis. That name ring any bells to anyone? Bryan Francis? Yup. He used to work for Ottawa, and now he's gone to San Rafael, and now his son is apprenticing here!

So yeah that's tomorrow. My poor thing is flopped out on her bed...and I didn't get to her obedience. Well crap. I meant to, but ran out of time. Oh well, I guess I'll just do it tomorrow.

I'm still waiting for news about the lump. Student Tim said something really scary. What if they say I cannot finish training with her? What then? What if I have to wait for another dog? Oh it will break my heart in two. But this is coming from student Tim, who appears to be the eternal pessimist. Cross your fingers, please?

Well, he was right. What if? It would have been better to leave training than to have what happened happen.

Well I should probably get going, must run down and check email. It's late and I don't want to be at the computer long. My poor beast is dead to the world. I don't want to drag her down there. Poor thing.