That Time When The Rockers Kind Of Became Tag Team Champions For A Minute

People ask me wrestling questions a lot, and most of the time I like to think I'm pretty decent at either answering them myself or finding somebody who can/has. But one of the ones that stumps me every time is when people ask what the deal was when the Rockers beat the Hart Foundation for the WWF tag titles but didn't get to keep them.

Answering the did this actually happen part has always been easy. Yes, it did. It happened back in 1990 at a TV taping. I think the Rockers may have even defended the things once or twice after they won them.

But the match never aired, and that's where things get complicated. Things get complicated because everybody seems to have their own reason for why this happened. Depending on where you look or who you ask, you'll hear everything from Jim Neidhart was about to get fired so they had to take the belts off of the Foundation to backstage politics having a part in it or even simply that the broken top rope was the problem because the match would have come off badly on television. Whatever the reason was, the WWF decided to act like the switch never happened. The Anvil wasn't fired, the Harts got the belts back and life went on. The Rockers never ended up winning the titles for real and eventually split up during that awesome Barber Shop segment where Marty Jannetty got thrown through the window.

Meanwhile, the phantom title match became one of those mysterious things that could probably never happen today thanks to everybody having a video camera and the ability to post things to YouTube...ahh, YouTube. Everything winds up on YouTube. and as I just discovered, everything now includes video of the Rockers winning the titles at that TV taping in 1990.



Now if only YouTube could explain why all of this unhappened within days, I'd have one less thing to think about and one less question I can't answer.

Anton And His Theatre Friends present...The Gift of the Magi

If you're looking for something to do really, really soon, our old pal Anton may have just the thing for you if you happen to be in the right area or aren't going to the Irish Rovers and having people stay with you this weekend like Carin and I are.

Join Out of Sight Productions for
a Special Christmas Presentation of
"The Gift of the Magi" 

London, Ontario, October 12, 2011 - To celebrate the spirit of the Christmas season, Out of Sight Productions is pleased to present "The Gift of the Magi", the classic tale by O. Henry adapted for our stage by London's Steve Stockwell. 

In this enduring tale of self-sacrifice we witness a love of such depth and understanding that it nurtures sustenance for a couple who, in a mad desire to please, have surrendered their most precious possessions while unwittingly ensuring a future on which their current dreams can be built. 

"The Gift of the Magi" at the CNIB Auditorium, 749 Base Line Road East:                  

Thursday, December 1 at 7:30pm                  

Friday, December 2 at 3:00pm and 7:30pm                  

Saturday, December 3 at 3:00pm and 7:30pm                  

Sunday, December 4 at 3:00pm 

Admission is Free - a small donation to help support the work of Out of Sight Productions would be greatly appreciated. 

For further information, please contact:
          Kelly MacDonald, Company Director, Out of Sight Productions       

Phone: 519-675-0379       

Email: info@oosproductions.com       

Web: www.oosproductions.com 

Out of Sight Productions thanks you for supporting our unique theatre initiative

Another Candidate For Festive RIDE Theme Song

If you listened to yesterday's big batch of audio, you know we had a hell of a fun time trying to come up with Festive RIDE Program Christmas songs. We didn't mention this one yesterday since we were thinking so hard that it slipped our minds, but it seems appropriate to share a seasonal classic from Bob Rivers that fits the theme nicely. Enjoy Police Stop My Car.

Have fun getting that out of your head.

It's The Occupy VC Cast

Update: The audio hasn't worked for a while here. Thank you Blind File Sharing for hosing us. So now, for all things cast, pop on over to our new site. There, you'll find audio that works!

Well, it is here. The Occupy VC Cast, the Occucast, whatever you want to call it, it's here...and it's about to occupy about 2 hours of your time. It would be awesome if you found it 99% funny.

We divided it into 4 parts. It would have been only 3, but well, ya see, I'm a giant moron and caused us to need to make a bonus part.

Part one lasts for about 25 minutes or so. In it, we spend some time on the whole Occupy VC thing, and how the Occupy movement has invaded my subconscious, because when I hear 1% or 99% from the computer as it's loading something, I immediately think of Occupy-related stuff. We mention Lunchupguelph, and ramble a while about the work Christmas party we went to, some about the odd weather, the Baker Street Station, and then we set off on our first major rant. Steve got very creative in making fun of the reasons people come up with for petting guide dogs when they know they shouldn't, and Trix got excited by his silly tone. I also did my best to describe the drink I tried at Baker Street Station, man that was awesome. Then after Steve talked in a funny voice, a joke next to noone will get, we brought this part of things to a sudden end.

In part two, which lasts about 42 minutes, Steve made me a drink and we talked about its ability to smack me around six ways from Sunday. We also talked about how Steve knows what drinks I'd like and has a pretty good track record. the story of the recent time where one of our Twitter buddies jokingly called Steve a douchebag came up, as well as the fact that someone seriously calls themselves Magnificent Douchebag as their Twitter name. We asked a question about something someone said who has gone lots of times to the Occupy Toronto movement, and Steve scared the hell out of me by mentioning this video. We lament the fact that BlindFileSharing's front end went splat, cutting off access to the files. Other topics talked about are the Occupy Movement's biggest curse, the stupidity of news media working people into a frenzy over nothing, Black Friday insanity, The mumbly new Tim Horton's slogan and general suckiness of Tim Hortons commercials, especially the use of the words "whipped topping". And before we break again, Steve talks about how much he loves the Grey Cup finals, and a few recent Grey Cup party memories.

And then, we really get silly in Part three, which goes about 50 minutes. This was the other half of our inspiration for audio. The story goes that the police in our area step up their efforts to watch out for impaired drivers. So, they pull everybody over on a stretch of road, ask them if they've had anything to drink, and if they think they have, they test them and deal with them. This is called the RIDE program (Reduce Impaired Driving Everywhere). But at Christmas, they call it the festive RIDE program. This always gave us an image of singing cops jingling bells and being full of jolly cheer while making people walk the line and blow into the breathalizer. We then wondered what sort of songs they would sing at the festive RIDE program...and that's what we spend the majority of the time doing. Part of the way through, I suddenly realize we need bells, and go off in search of something that would serve as bells. Since I can't find them, we have to settle for jingling our keys. At the very end, we wrap up by laughing at someone for thinking the Foo Fighters were called the Food Fighters, and there's a little joke in there for a fellow known on Twitter as @thedangillis.

And just when you think it's over, we make Part four, all because I found those pesky bells! This one only goes about 4 minutes or so.

We had a lot of fun doing this audio, so I hope you enjoy. Here's Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and finally, Part 4.

Enjoy, or something.

A Short Movie About Rioting Over Movies At A Black Friday Sale

What do you know, another completely insane bit of Black Friday video. Didn't see that coming.

Warning: VERY LOUD SOUND! Made me jump when it started playing.



This lovely scene took place at a Walmart in Mesquite, Texas. I swear Walmart is the setting for about 98% of these things. Why is that?

The people you see and most definitely hear are doing their best to stomp and trample each other to get at video games and DVDs. Games and DVDs that apparently aren't very visible to the folks grabbing at them. From the article.

The boxes at which they are grabbing like lions tearing at a deer carcass say "$10 while supplies last."

You will notice how the occasional voice pleads: "Easy, easy." And yet no one seems to pay heed.

What is, perhaps, most moving though is that people make their grab first and only afterward do they look at their boxes to see what DVDs or video games they have actually picked up.

This could be "Fried Green Tomatoes." It could be some ancient version of a golfing, fishing or curling video game. Who cares?

That seemed to matter less to these Texans than taking as much as they could. It all makes for a very touching, contemporary scene.

Can't really sum it up any better than that.

You Stuck What Up Your Where?

We've talked from time to time about the strange things people have shoved in strange places in their bodies. Well, now, there's a whole book of x-rays showing stuff in places it shouldn't be. and here's a video about the book. I wouldn't have cared, except the video was hilarious. If you can't get it to play, I'll make an mp3 of it.

Intellistreets? Telescreens? Hmmm

I hope these new advertisement-blaring, conversation-spying poles won't be coming to an intersection near me anytime soon. I thought the security cameras were bad enough, but there's something even creepier about these ones.

Like something out of a sinister Orwellian vision of the future, streetlights with the ability to monitor conversations and announce government warnings are being installed on American streets.

As part of a federally-funded project, manufacturers Illuminating Concepts have begun installing the system, dubbed 'Intellistreets' in the town of Farmington Hills, Michigan.

According to the company’s video presentation the capabilities of the devices include homeland security, public safety, traffic control, advertising and video surveillance features.

So stay away from Farmington Hills, Michigan, if you can.

Not only is this sixteen different kinds of ug, I can see this being a big distraction for blind folks. Imagine trying to line up at the crosswalk and listen to traffic, only to have the traffic sounds overshadowed by some big loud advertisement box directly behind your head?

Yuck! Let's hope this doesn't become a new thing.

Quality Time...Served?

I wonder why Charles Edward Meinhart Junior just had to visit his dad so badly. His dad was in jail, and he came in to see him, looking a little drunk. When he was informed that it wasn't visiting time, he lost it, and got himself arrested. Not only that, but while officers were talking to jail staff, he started to wiggle his hands free. When the police reached into the car to stop him from doing that, he lost it all over again.

Well, now he might see his dad...from the inside of the bars. He's been given quite a long list of charges.

We Went To The Baker Street Station And You Should Too

Yesterday was my birthday. Ok so it's actually not for a few more weeks, but we pretended it was and Carin took me out to the brand new Baker Street Station. It's been open for about a week and change and we'd been looking for an excuse to pop in and try it, so hey, if it's my birthday it's my birthday, right?

I'm not sure how many ways there are to say what a great place, but if you were to ask my opinion of our experience there I think I'd need just about every one of them.

The staff were great. From the moment we walked in, they were super helpful. This is one of the most important parts of a restaurant experience for me, especially in a new place like this. Blind guys in a gigantic unfamiliar area are going to need a bit of a hand, and everyone we ran into did a fine job of helping us with whatever we needed. If the blind guy part tripped them up at all, they didn't show it. It was even their idea to read the menu to us! Usually we have to ask for that and then watch as the person processes the concept that old dark eyes over here isn't going to be reading the printed menu on his own. A definite 2 thumbs up for all of you.

And what can I say about the food? Everything we had was awesome. I can't remember the last time I saw somebody rave as much about an appetizer as Carin did about the Short Rib Poutine she had. It was to the point that I almost ordered one of those instead of a main course after my 5 spice wings. Those were neat, by the way. When you think wings, you don't usually think cinnamon and ginger, but it totally worked. Every bite tasted a little bit different, which made it fun.

As for the main courses, Carin had fish and chips which she crushed in what seemed like no time, and I had what I think might have been the best restaurant burger I've had in this town. I may need to go to the Wooly to do a little comparative research since I haven't burgered there in forever, but I think I'd put the Baker St. Burger up against anybody else's and it would give them a serious run for their money. I don't think I've ever had a burger so tender. It felt like it was going to melt in my mouth, and there was a lot of flavour unlike some of the bland burgers you tend to find in restaurants. The Ketchup and Aioli were nice touches as well, very tasty. The fries remind me of someplace, but I'm not sure where. I keep thinking it was somewhere I went when I was little, but hell if I can remember what the place was called. Let's call it This Place Has Fabulous Freakin Fries Land. Yeah, that works.

Neither of us had room for dessert, but it's on the list for next time. Yes, there will be a next time. But as for this time, the pints of Tankhouse Ale and MacLean's Pale Ale did a fine job of filling whatever stomach space was left over. Oh, and I think Carin has a new favourite drink. It's called a Razzmatazz. Two words: chocolate vodka. Oh, and lots and lots of raspberry. You should have seen the little guy happy giggle. If she does that, you know you've struck alcohol gold.

If you're in Guelph and looking for a nice place to eat and have a couple, definitely give the Station your time. We liked it so much we ended up walking out with a gift certificate for a friend's Christmas. The atmosphere is really cool and kind of hard to describe, so here are some pictures of it. The place is huge and you know that, but it somehow also feels a bit cozy and like it would be the perfect place to come and warm up when winter hits. Even though it's big, it was completely packed when we got there. the downstairs was full, but luckily there were a couple of stools at the upstairs bar until a table for two opened up up there.

And that's another cool thing. The separate levels would be great for having some kind of live music and food on one and just food on the other. Not sure if that's in the plans, but feel free to take that idea if it wasn't, guys.

You can find them at 76 Baker Street (now you know where the name came from), and there's a map on the website if you need one. And if you're blind like us and the map won't really help you, give them a call or send them a tweet and they'll probably help you out pretty quickly. They're pretty good at the Twitter thing.

Oh, and speaking of the Twitter thing, one last question. carin and I were both curious about the mind the brooms tweet that linked to this photo. The person we asked had no idea what we were talking about, so hopefully somebody reading this can solve the mystery.

Thanks for a fun night and a great meal, Carin and restaurant people. Oh, and to answer your question Twitter manning person, our night out was good enough for a Vomit Comet post.

Robo...Dog?

I saw this a while ago, and have been meaning to write about it.

Some japanese scientists have invented a robotic guide dog. What I don't get about this is they say they invented it due to the rapidly aging population. So...there aren't enough guide dogs to go around? Is that the reason? Why would a robot be more useful due to the rapidly aging population?

For some reason I find it weird that they made a robotic dog, especially since they gave it a synthetic female voice. Why make it a dog at that point?

And aren't you just swapping one set of problems for another? Sure dogs get sick and have injuries and off days, but robots can run out of battery power, and wouldn't it suck if your guide bot ran out of juice in the middle of the street? Or what if one of the sensors designed to detect things failed? The difference between real dogs and machines is real dogs have a desire for self-preservation.

I don't know about you, but I think I'll stick with the living breathing guide dog.

Let Martial Note In Triumph Float, And Liberty Extend Its Mighty...Penis?

I tweeted a few minutes ago that I wasn't sure where to put this if it indeed needed to be put somewhere here at all. That's right, I'm on Twitter in case you've forgotten.

Anyway, I had a pretty good feeling that it was ending up here, but where? The two obvious choices were do it yourself and humpings, but which one was the right fit...so to speak. If you've been here for any length of time, you probably know that humpings is mostly reserved for people getting it on with things and not people, while do it yourself is all about ridiculous public masturbation. This is in a way both, yet neither.

I've thought about it, and after a nice editorial meeting with Carin, a decision has been made.

What, you didn't know we had editorial meetings around here? Well, we do, at times. they generally consist of one of us tossing a link or idea at the other and waiting for the down the hall reaction to come in. In this case, I tweeted, and within about a minute or so, a giant exclamation of "eeeeewwwwwwwww!" came from the other room. That was my cue to get up and start heading in its direction. and since the two of us have mind beams, it also meant Carin was heading in mine. A meeting in the middle, a laugh, a hug and a few words later, the story of Paul Hall's encounter with a female Ferris High School teacher and his apparent respect for American flags was determined to be a humping. And now you know a little more about the creative process, such as it is.

Police responded Wednesday morning to the high school, where the 40-year-old teacher said she was standing in the school’s main office about 15 minutes earlier when a male she had never seen before walked up behind her, placed his hands on her waist and “thrust his pelvis area into her,” reports said.

The victim spun around and said, “Why did you touch me?” to which the suspect replied, “Well, I’m not supposed to touch the flag,” according to reports.

A police report states that the suspect may have been referring to an American flag that was in the office near the victim.

Two witnesses who were in the office at the time of the incident told police they heard the victim objecting to the suspect “touching” her, and heard the suspect’s comment about the flag, but neither could see the incident from where they were seated, reports said.

Hall, 62, has been charged with criminal sexual contact. But perhaps since this is America he'll get some kind of credit for his patriotism. Come on, you folks take your country real serious down there.

Finally, Some Positive Black Friday News

Thanks to the Borowitz Report for reminding us that not all Black Friday news has to be bad news.

“We have been looking for evidence that the economy is on the mend,” said Davis Logsdon, chairman of the economics department at the University of Minnesota. “When people resort to homicide to buy a Blu-ray player, that is very, very good news indeed.”

Mr. Logsdon said he was “impressed” by the lengths to which some Walmart customers were going to grab coveted sale items: “They’re using tactics we usually associate with the UC-Davis police.”

With many customers using pepper spray and other weapons to get a shopping advantage, however, Mr. Logsdon advised Americans not to enter a Walmart unarmed.

Read the full story: In Positive Economic Sign, Walmart Customers Killing Each Other to Buy Shit

Leggo My...2 Dollar Waffle Maker

Checking in once again from the Black Friday news desk, this time to give you this video of a bunch of idiots rioting over $2 waffle makers at a Walmart in Arkansas.

What can I say? I need a drink and someplace to sob.

Weiland In A Winter Wonderland

For some reason, I feel the need to make note of the fact that the same guy who did this just did this.



I suppose I could give him credit for branching out and trying something different, but my ears would rather I say something about how ungood this is and how he sounds like one of those really hacky lounge singers who's the only one in the room that thinks he's any good.

Thoughts?

More Black Friday Freebies

We started the day with some complimentary Walmart pepper spray, and now we keep the Black Friday fun times a rollin' with a nice round of this Hollister is taking too damn long to open, so let's bust in and start loading stuff.

Around 12:30 this morning, Hollister was burglarized by a crowd of Black Friday shoppers that had grown impatient while waiting in line outside the surf shop-inspired superstore, according to a clique of teenage eyewitnesses assembled outside the American Eagle Outfitters across the street.

NYPD on scene confirmed that the store had been robbed and would not be opening for predawn business, but had no further details about the suspects.

Serious question here. do any of these places even give a thought to hiring extra security? I mean really, it's not like maniacs on Black Friday should surprise anyone at this point.

The Black Friday Sales Are A Little More In Your Face Than Usual This Year

Here's a Black Friday deal you may have missed.

A woman at a Walmart in Los Angeles was giving out free pepper spray to customers late last night. Yes, you heard me, free. Why such a deep discount? It's actually pretty simple. When you don't have to pay for the bottle it usually comes in, the markup doesn't have to be nearly so high.

Authorities say at least 10 people suffered minor injuries inside a crowded Walmart store in Los Angeles after a female shopper used pepper spray during a confrontation.

The incident occurred shortly after 10:20 p.m. Thursday in the San Fernando Valley as shoppers looking for Black Friday deals were let inside the store.

Shawn Lenske, a Los Angeles fire spokesman, said the injuries, all of them minor, were due to “rapid crowd movement.”

Police don't know what started the confrontation (retardity?) and so far, no arrests have been made. They say they're still looking for the woman. Maybe try Target?

And on the subject of Black Friday, I'm hardly the first to mention this, but why is it ok to camp out for days and days to buy a bunch of junk, but camping out for the purpose of occupying something is a sin punishable by police beating? Priorities, people!

Observations, Updates, And Other Goofiness

Here comes another giant pile of thoughts.

The other day, the oldies radio station was on and The Poppy Family That's Where I Went Wrong came on. And, unbidden, my only thought that came out loud and clear was "oh that poor bus stranger!" At that point I just started laughing. I didn't feel one bit of pity for the woman in the song...I just wanted her to shut up. Yes, go to sleep and forget him for a while. Then maybe that poor fellow who randomly selected the seat beside her can get some peace for god's sake!

Maybe that's because I've been that poor bus stranger, and we probably all have. You sit down, someone plunks beside you, and suddenly you hear their every tale of woe they have. Don't get me wrong, I've had lots of awesome conversations with seat mates on buses. But sometimes, oh lordy. I don't remember if I ever wrote about the time I had to pretty much babysit a fellow passenger, but that was an instance of me being a poor bus stranger. I was glad I did it, but oh man. I think experiences like that turned that song on its head for me. The thing is I've thought it I don't know how many times on a subconscious level, but this week, it came out loud and clear.

For some reason, one day I said something to Steve about "way down yonder in the Paw-paw patch." Then I immediately wondered "what the heck's a paw-paw? I guess it's a kind of apple, but it's funny how we just sing stuff and have no idea where it came from.

Last Wednesday I had an, um, interesting afternoon. Apparently my parking lot at work can get pretty ugly as hell in the winter, so the guy who drives me to work thought it would be good to get one of those accessible parking passes. At first I wasn't sure if I felt right about it since I thought most people who use them have actual physical injuries or lung problems that prevent them from physically walking from A to B. But now that I think about it, knowing we could always park in the same spot would mean it would help my orientation. I could probably walk from car to door on my own, which would be pretty awesome. Plus, it would reduce the amount of time I'd be mucking around in the parking lot amid people who potentially aren't the best drivers in the world.

So I decided to get one, and I have learned one thing for sure. The doctors I asked about this thing had no clue about it. I had to see the doctor I'm a not so huge fan of, and he scribbled down a note and told me to take it to City Hall. City Hall? How about no? This is done by the province I'm pretty sure. At that point he said he hadn't a clue how it worked.

So I went to a new walk-in clinic we have, which makes me happy as hell that we have another clinic, and it's being well-used. But the doctor there couldnt' figure out what category I fit under, even though there's a box for visual acuity. That'd be me. But he did the form, and all is right with the world. I have a pass, and will have a permanent one soon.

But that afternoon's travels were full of crazy loopy things that kept happening to me. First up, as I entered the clinic, I ran smack into a chick who was desperately afraid of dogs. I mean she started hyperventilating and totally freaking out. I felt horrible because I had nowhere to go. We were squished into a tiny space between two doors.

But she made me roll my eyes when I was finished at the clinic and went to leave. She was still there, and sat right by the door, ya know, the exit door. So as I approached it, she started freaking out again! Hello lady, I have to go that way. If you're so afraid of dogs, move the hell away from the door! You've been warned!

On my way down to the clinic, Trix had to go poop. I picked it up, but had no idea where a garbage can was. So there I was with a bag of poop in my pocket. Total suck. But I had to chuckle as kid after kid was rushed into the bathroom at the clinic. I think the parents thought *their* kids were causing the stench! Although I was embarrassed about having a bag of dog doo, I couldn't help but snicker.

And in my final piece of adventures from that day, I went into the grocery store in that plaza. It used to be called Price Chopper, now it's Fresh Co. Whatever. I went in to buy two things. Seriously, two items. The girl helped me, and then said she talked to her manager and her manager said I really should call ahead if I'm going to want help.

I'm sorry, did I have a list as long as my arm? No. I wanted to buy two items. I do not think I have to call ahead for something that small. Hell, I pick up more things at a convenience store than that. I would totally call ahead if I was getting a whole heap of things and needed an escort around the store. But two things? Seriously?

They have kind of been difficult from time to time, constantly asking "are you done yet?" when I've had 4 things on my list, but this was pretty offensive. In future, I'll probably just avoid that store. If I'm such a burden, they can do without my business.

But on a happier note, there's a Tim Hortons that opened up pretty close to our house. Oh baby. I see danger on the horizon. Resist the urge for Timmie's! The girl was really nice there, although when I said I was blind and couldn't find the Tim's, she didn't think I literally meant blind. Oh boy, she's going to have stories when she gets home. I kind of feel bad for getting a little annoyed with her, but there were no pedestrians on that stretch of sidewalk, so I called the place, told her I was blind and her immediate response was "Well can't you see the sign?" Poor girl, she felt really sheepish after that. So the moral of the story, people, is never assume the person telling you they're blind is speaking in metaphor. Chances are they *are* blind. Or do more people just say "I'm blind" when they say they're lost? Am I just oblivious?

And in another piece of happy news, my ailing Trekker is on its way back to the land of the living!

Here's the scoop. I finally went to a store that had the means to voltage test the charger. Then, to my shock and horror, they said the charger was fine. We eventually deduced that it was that piece on the end of the splitter that started breaking so long ago. So, because of that series of things, and the three-way splitter mess, I was hesitant to call up Humanware and ask for any more parts. So I tried charging the PDA using my sync cable. But because the battery had drained so low, when it asked for power, my computer said it was asking for too much power and would not allow. It did this on a couple of machines. At least I'm hoping that's what the problem is.

Well, with the buses completely changing routes in January, I was getting desperate. I've come to realize that that piece is likely only sold by Humanware. So I bought a new one. But it wasn't $60 like the guy claimed, it was $35. You'd think sales reps in Humanware could get their facts straight. Let's hope when it arrives, it's the right part. But if it is, at the end of the day, my Trekker should be back in business.

I think that's about it for now at least in this post. I have other ideas that's for sure.

More Songs About Roundabouts

What is with people wanting to sing about roundabouts?

First up we had the roundabout dance for pedestrians, next up was the roundabout dance for drivers. Now, in Ireland, a driving instructor has written yet another roundabout song. Now there's a fellow who says "aboot".

Something about this song is strangely catchy. Drivers might learn a whole lot from it. I don't think us pedestrians got a verse though. Hmmm. What would it look like? Something like this?

If you're crossin' at the roundabout on foot
there's no walk or don't walk sign so take a good look
Show the drivers that you're there,
then run just like a hare...
Unless your blind, then well, you're screwed!

Oh look, mine didn't rhyme, just like his.

Happy driving through those roondaboots everybody.

Two Calls, One Boat

Hello, 911? My name is William Hodges and I need your help. My boat has run out of gas. I'm about a mile from shore in the Gulf of Mexico and I'd rather not be stuck out here in this 17 foot crab boat all day. Thanks.

Hello, 911? I'm calling from the I.C. Sharks seafood company and we need your help. One of our 17 foot crab boats has gone missing and we were hoping you could give us a hand finding it. We'd rather not be without it all day. Thanks.

Hello, I.C. Sharks seafood company? This is 911. We think we found your boat. Do you happen to know a fellow by the name of William Hodges? No? Ok, we'll just go ahead and bring him in on grand theft then. Your welcome.

Nickelblock

From Aux TV and the people who were kind enough to bring you both Tinted Sheen and Shaved Bieber comes the next great cleanup for your internet experience. Ladies and gentlement, say hello to NICKELBLOCK for chrome and Firefox!

That's right. If all the Nickelback in your world is making it hard to Breathe, just follow the instructions at the link above and never again will you have to hear about them or see their photograph. As good ideas go, this one's not Too Bad. I shall leave you to install this now, as I have nothing else worthy to say.

You Drink Water? You Know It's Not Good For You, Don't You?

You'd think I'd know better by now considering these are the same people who created pages upon pages upon a few more pages of regulations governing what counts as a proper looking piece of food, but I still thought this was satire for a minute.

After three years work by 21 scientists, the European Union has determined that water cannot be marketed and sold as a healthy product. Yup. Water. More specifically, it is now against the law to claim that the consumption of water fights dehydration.

In a scarcely believable ­ruling, a panel of experts threw out a claim that regular water consumption is the best way to rehydrate the body.

The bizarre diktat from Brussels has far-reaching implications for member states, including Britain, as no water sold in the EU can now claim to protect against dehydration.

Any producer breaching the order, signed by European Commission President Jose Manuel Barroso, faces being jailed for up to two years. It took the 21 scientists on the panel three years of analysis into the link between water and dehydration to come to their extraordinary conclusion.

I'd love to know how many of the scientists involved in these studies also think there's no such thing as climate change, man made or otherwise. Hell, I'd just love to hear about some of their other findings, period. I'm sure we'd have more to write about than we could ever possibly use in our lifetimes.

Mike Tyson Quotes: The Song

Well...I think this is going to be in my head for a while, especially the chorus.Mike Tyson Quotes: The Song by Just Dave.

The video description tells you where you can buy the song, and even teaches you how to play it! I expect this to be the next big party singalong hit.

Dear Americans: Please Don't Let Your Government Use SOPA To Break the World's Internet

More than half of the people who visit this site are Americans. Today, I'd like to ask you all to do a favour. Not just for me, but for yourself and for the rest of the world.

Have you ever heard of the Protect IP Act or the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA)? If you haven't, I want you to read this. Here's just a bit of it.

The bills would empower the attorney general to create a blacklist of sites to be blocked by Internet service providers, search engines, payment providers and advertising networks, all without a court hearing or a trial. The House version goes further, allowing private companies to sue service providers for even briefly and unknowingly hosting content that infringes on copyright — a sharp change from current law, which protects the service providers from civil liability if they remove the problematic content immediately upon notification. The intention is not the same as China’s Great Firewall, a nationwide system of Web censorship, but the practical effect could be similar.

Abuses under existing American law serve as troubling predictors for the kinds of abuse by private actors that the House bill would make possible. Take, for example, the cease-and-desist letters that Diebold, a maker of voting machines, sent in 2003, demanding that Internet service providers shut down Web sites that had published internal company e-mails about problems with the company’s voting machines. The letter cited copyright violations, and most of the service providers took down the content without question, despite the strong case to be made that the material was speech protected under the First Amendment.

The House bill would also emulate China’s system of corporate “self-discipline,” making companies liable for users’ actions. The burden would be on the Web site operator to prove that the site was not being used for copyright infringement. The effect on user-generated sites like YouTube would be chilling.

YouTube, Twitter and Facebook have played an important role in political movements from Tahrir Square to Zuccotti Park. At present, social networking services are protected by a “safe harbor” provision of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, which grants Web sites immunity from prosecution as long as they act in good faith to take down infringing content as soon as rights-holders point it out to them. The House bill would destroy that immunity, putting the onus on YouTube to vet videos in advance or risk legal action. It would put Twitter in a similar position to that of its Chinese cousin, Weibo, which reportedly employs around 1,000 people to monitor and censor user content and keep the company in good standing with authorities.

did that scare the shit out of you? It should. This legislation is being brought forth by your own government with the help and support of big industries. They say it's just because they want and need to protect copyrights and bring laws into the digital age, but you and I both know that's a complete load. The potential for abuse is staggering. If somebody doesn't like what you have to say, all that person has to do is accuse you of infringement. Next thing you know, you're suddenly disappeared from the internet. No voice, no money, and almost no chance of fighting back. You know that's not how it's supposed to work, but if this passes, that's how it will.

So what I want you to do is simple. Write. Call. Let everyone you know in on this. Then contact your member of Congress, your Senator, your dog catcher, whoever you have to contact and let them know that what they're doing is horribly flawed and not in anybody's best interests. Please, the world needs you. If you don't believe me, here's a little more reading for you. Yes, the United States, with passage of this bill, will essentially be trying to take ownership of the world's internet.

Please Americans, we're all counting on you here. You're smarter than this, and you have a voice. Use it, and please do your best to stop this for all of us.

Thank you.

Math Teacher, Sex Ed Teacher, What's The Difference?

Teacher Posts Bail After Arrest For Masturbating In Class

Paul LaDuke, 75, was fired from Schaumburg Christian School on Friday, after a student reported to another teacher that LaDuke appeared to be masturbating while seated at his podium during class.

LaDuke was arrested on Monday and charged Tuesday with felony sexual exploitation of a child. His bond was set at $40,000 at a hearing at the Rolling Meadows courthouse on Wednesday and he posted the required 10 percent bail Wednesday evening.

Authorities believe this is far from his first offence, and Cook County Assistant State’s Attorney Dave Weiner (really) says that they have a handwritten note from LaDuke in which he admits to fantasizing about his female students while masturbating in class. The note says that this has been going on for at least 10 years. Ok, so we know of at least two things LaDuke's hands are good for.

for his part, LaDuke's lawyer speculated that his client, who in addition to being a math teacher is also an ordained minister, may be suffering from some form of dementia and was perhaps just repeating what the police told him.

If all of this is true and LaDuke really has been at this for over a decade, how has he gotten away with it for so long? It doesn't sound like he was exactly the king of discrete. Sitting behind a large podium or not, how does nobody notice you unzipping, taking down your pants and going to town? Even if you put an apron over it, if you're any good, that thing's got to be flapping in the breeze just a little, yes? Then again, it might be hard to muster up that much energy at that age, if you'd even need it.

and...how about we just end this here? There's nothing more to the story and I'm putting far too much thought into something that really doesn't need it. I don't want people to start thinking I'm weird.

Drunk, Alcoholic, Idiot, What's The Difference?

Talk about doing everything wrong.

Drinking and driving is one of the stupidest, most dangerous things a person can do. Drinking and driving while wearing your "I'm Not An Alcoholic, I'm A Drunk" t-shirt, that's even worse. Drinking and driving while wearing that shirt and then ploughing your car into a police cruiser...this really isn't your day, but the rest of us appreciate your stupidity getting you off the streets as quickly as possible.

The officer thankfully wasn't injured in the accident, and Kevin Daly, 22, was arrested and will likely live to dumb another day.

Throw A Ham At The Ma'am You Call Mom Who's In The Hallway

No details on what started it, but an argument between a mother and son required some police intervention when the son, 37-year-old Emanuel Cordell Kennedy,chucked a ham at mommy dearest, plunking her on the back as she was walking down the hallway of their home. Good toss, dude. I hope it was worth this afternoon's misdemeanour domestic assault arraignment.

All The Balls Are Soft, Much Like The People

I understand that Canada still has certain ties to the UK. The force feeding of all the royal wedding garbage as actual news at the expense of everything else made that perfectly clear if it was ever in doubt. But friends or not, ties or not, that doesn't mean go ahead and start adopting their style of ridiculous health and safety crap. Accidents happen. It's part of being a kid, or being around them. I'll spare you the rest of the rant about how adults are taking all the fun out of being a kid, and even out of being an adult. I won't even get into the stupidity of how all these people can look themselves in the face and wonder why all the kids are getting fat now. Hello, it's kinda your fault, morons!

The principal of Earl Beatty Public School banned the balls this week after a parent recently suffered a concussion from being hit in the head with a soccer ball.

The principal, Alicia Fernandez, banned hard balls, claiming they're dangerous.

"Kids were coming in complaining of injury, or being scared," she said.

The ban went into effect two weeks ago.

Students can bring sponge or other soft balls to play with, but soccer balls, footballs, baseballs and even tennis balls are not allowed for safety reasons.

You're Gonna Score Me Some Drugs? Wow, What A Trooper! Oh Wait, You Really Are A Trooper

Let's start today by adding this fellow to the wrong number files.

Yes, Aaron Sartin. The police probably do have lots of drugs hanging around. But unless you luck into a corrupt one, they generally get them from guys like you, not sell them to guys like you.

The Nebraska State Patrol said that one of its troopers started getting text messages last week from a person who was looking to buy drugs. The trooper continued to correspond through text messages until a meeting place was set up.

The trooper, dressed in civilian clothes, arrived at the agreed upon location and arrested 23-year-old Aaron Sartin of Kearney, Nebraska, police said.

And he apparently didn't really need to buy drugs anyway, judging from his list of charges. driving under the influence of drugs, possession of less than an ounce of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. Police also say more charges are pending.

I'll Save You!...From Me...Oh, I See You've Got This One. I'll Just Run Away Then

I've heard tell of a lot of dumb plots in my time. This one, to be charitable, is fucking stupid. Yes, that's charitable. Allow me to explain.

Robbie Suhr has a wife, a couple of kids and a house. He also has a thing for the exchange student that's been living with him. This thing has progressed to the point where he must win her over and gain her love. But how? Tell her? NO, too easy, and not nearly stupid enough. Besides, who knows if she'd go for a guy like him anyway. This calls for a hero. But who, and more importantly, why?

As it turns out, the who would be Suhr himself. And why? Because he has to save her, of course. Why let somebody else save her if you're the one winning her love, right?

But this presents another problem. Save her from who? And here, my friends, is where the true brilliance of the scheme kicks in. The villain would also be Suhr, dressed in dark clothes and wearing a mask. Bad guy him would attack the woman in the garage, tie her up and leave her there. After a short time, hero him would hit the scene, rescue her and they would both live happily ever after...until the wife found out.

Unfortunatley we have no idea how good a hero he'd have made, but if he's as good a hero as he is a villain, no wonder he didn't want to just nut up and say hey, I like you a lot.

The plan was working to perfection until it was time to put it into action. The masked man attacked, at which point he was promptly fought off, gave up and fled the property.

Police launched an investigation, fearing that the attack was random and that others in the neighbourhood may also be targeted. But after about a week, Suhr's plot was discovered and he was charged with reckless endangerment, battery and false imprisonment. He was taken into custody, where I believe he remains. There's been no word on bail, but that would probably be too easy.

Going At It Like Animals, Fine. With Animals, Not So Much. Science Says So

Since I'm sure a few of you have been wondering (search statistics don't lie), there is now scientific evidence to suggest that having sex with animals is twice as likely to give you penis cancer than sticking to those old, boring humans.

Lead author Stenio de Cassio Zequi, a urologist in Sao Paulo, gave Live Science his theory explaining the increased risk.

"We think that the intense and long-term SWA [sex with animals] practice could produce micro-traumas in the human penile tissue," Zequi said. "The genital mucus membranes of animals could have different characteristics from human genitalia, and the animals' secretions are probably different from human fluids. Perhaps animal tissues are less soft than ours, and non-human secretions would be toxic for us."

A member of an un-named pro-zoophilia group interviewed for the article said that the study is concerning, and that it should prompt people to use condoms when engaging in such activities rather than just stopping because it's creepy and blarf. Yes, that last bit was mine. She also had this to say:

She added that it was unlikely to deter diehard zoophiles. "They might become more cautious," she said, "but they wouldn't change their nature."

Nature? Nice choice of words there, lady.

So now you know, although if this is anything like most research, somebody will release a study next week to tell us that sex with animals cures AIDS and dementia while making you look and feel 10 years younger. We'll keep you posted, because that's kinda what we do around here. by the way, there appears to be no nice way to say that on a resume, in case you were wondering.

RIAADigi

There's not a lot of info yet, but this will be interesting to follow.

About a month ago, I wrote about a service called Redigi. They're the ones who hope there's a similar market for used digital music to the one that exists for second-hand CDs.

In my post I talked about some of the problems I think they may have attracting customers, but in a pretty big oversight on my part, I didn't mention how little trouble they would likely have attracting attention. You know, the bad kind. The RIAA kind.

The Recording Industry Association of America has sent a cease and desist letter to ReDigi, which could be the first shot fired in a copyright battle over the sale of used downloads.

According to my sources, the problem that the RIAA has with ReDigi is that the company makes copies of songs that they attempt to sell for users and they can't do this without acquiring licenses. ReDigi also allegedly uses copyrighted album art, etc.

There are laws governing the resale of physical goods in the United States, but so far there seems to be little if anything pertaining to things that aren't actual things. Logically Redigi shouldn't have a problem since the sensible thing would be to apply the same rights of first sale as already exist to this new form of trade, but we all know the sensible thing isn't always the end result.

this will be one to watch closely. Depending on how far it does or perhaps doesn't go, it could wind up shaping the future of online digital business in a major way.

Did Somebody Say We've Switched Menus?

As food feuds go, this is different.

Shanaya Edgell found herself, as so many of us have at one time or another, with a cheeseburger craving at 3 in the morning. Fortunately, boyfriend Darrell Page, in an act of fine boyfriendliness, drove her to a local McDonald's so that she may satisfy it. Unfortunately for her however, the McDonald's in question had already switched to the breakfast menu, and cheeseburgers were not on it.

this is a food feud, so you know what happens next. Yes, Edgell freaked out. But did she freak out and beat up on:
a: The drive through person?
b: the restaurant building?
or
C: Boyfriend Darrell Page?

I guess the link kind of gives it away, huh?

Indeed, rather than taking out her frustrations on the restaurant or a person working within, Edgell chose to pound on the only friend she had, biting his arm, hitting him in the face and ripping off his shirt. And all of this after she'd first told him she didn't want breakfast but then getting him to drive back so she could order. She then climbed onto the hood of his vehicle so he couldn't leave.

One thing I'll say for Edgell is that she appears to know she's insane, but I don't know if that helps much.

During police questioning, Edgell confirmed that she became “upset” after discovering that McDonald’s had “switched over to the breakfast menu and…she wanted to order food off the regular menu.” She reported “freaking out over this,” adding that Page was trying to calm her down over the matter of the unavailable cheeseburgers.

When a cop asked why he had spotted her on the car’s roof, Edgell answered, “because I was acting crazy.”

She was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct, and at last word was in custody in lieu of $150 bond.

Do they serve cheeseburgers at the Rock County jail? If so, I hope they're very clear about when.

If There Was A War For Best Celebrity GPS, It Has Been Won

Either I haven't done it or found it yet, or there's not much to talk about today. So just because it's awesome, enjoy this video ad for the TomTom Bert and Ernie GPS.

If it was blind dude accessible, I would buy this in a heartbeat. I hope you're paying attention, GPS for blind dudes creators.

Life, #Twittereen, #Movember, And Other Things

Hi there. It's me, ya know, the absentee blogger. I haven't really had much to say in the last little while. Not on email, not on Twitter, not on the blog, not anywhere. But that's ok. I'm surviving, that's what matters. I'm surviving, and attempting to expand this very little brain. By consequence, when I do talk, I ramble, and ramble, and ramble some more.

The job is still going well...although I'm constantly afraid I'm not moving fast enough. Everyone keeps telling me not to worry. All of this worry is completely self-inflicted. I'll get over it, I swear. But I have learned my way around my floor pretty well, which is friggin liberating. Too bad I get to learn a new floor in a couple weeks. But hopefully they can help me by telling me that my new destination is just under some old destination that I know. At least I have points of reference, which is awesome. And I have very patient, awesome coworkers.

Hmmm. More updates. I did not win that iPod in the Twittereen contest, but Steve and I did win *something*. Remember that ice cream/waffle place I was talking about? Well, a bunch of us won a waffle stack! This is awesome, because we can probably coordinate rides and all go together, which means Steve and I have a chance in hell of getting to this place in Cambridge. YeaWaffle Stacks!

But even if I didn't win an iPod, work has lent me one so I can learn how to use it. And amazingly, I'm making some pretty good progress. I managed to write the sentence "This is a test" on the touchscreen keyboard, which to me is a pretty good feat. Soon I will have mastered iThings, mwa ha ha ha ha. But I couldn't have done it without my fellow iThing users helping me out over Twitter. I'm sure people thought there were perverted things going on, what with all this talk of flicking, scrubbing, finger-twisting and other stuff. No really, I'm just trying to use my iPod!

Jennison, a blind guy I know, wrote a tweet that I think is very very true. It read: "One of the true tests of trust when you can't see is when you have to find a new barber." I would like to add another test of trust. Going to the shoe store. Here's why.

A while back I started to notice that my poor old running shoes were starting to bite the big one. Then I noticed there were holes under other holes. Um, eek? This is getting pretty bad. So, I headed out to the Shoeper Store. I wanted to buy a pair of running shoes. Simple running shoes that could fit my orthotics and were comfy and wouldn't make me look like a child.

I told the girl at the store my needs, and she trotted off and came back with a pair of shoes. All she said was "How do you feel about grey and blue?" Since I told her I wanted plain and simple, I thought hmmm maybe it'll be a dark blue with a grey stripe on them. I said ok. I put the shoes on, and damn did they feel good! They fit my orthotics too, so I was double happy.

I came home, wore them around with the tags still on, and thought I think I'm satisfied. But now I have learned a very valuable lesson. Next time, I must wear the shoes, with the tags on, down to someone possessing functioning eyes and good taste. Here's why.

I cut the tags off, triumphant that I had a new pair of shoes. Awesome! And I headed downstairs with the Trixter, at which point I ran into the huppy's dad. "New shoes?" he asked. "They must be new, I mean, they shine so much!" Excuuuuse me? Shine? I asked him to elaborate. It was then that I learned that the blue was not dark, but bright, electric, in fact. It was so attention-grabbing that they were the first things he noticed.

Oh dear dear. Now, for the foreseeable future, I must wear these stupid shoes. I don't even want to have mom and dad see them, because they probably look butt ugly. Maybe they'd be ok if I were a teenager doing some kind of jogging through the woods or something, but that was not what I was going for.

So, sighties, if someone asked you for a plain, simple shoe, would electric blue honestly fit in? Would it not cross your mind to tell me the shade of blue? I knew I should have been worried when her next words were, "Or, how do you feel about purple?" Purple shoes? I reflexively said no when she said purple, but that should have been a great big warning sign. If I'd only left the tags on, I could have taken them back to the store and gotten another pair. I wanted white, maybe black. Nothing crazy like, oh, say, electric blue that draws your attention immediately on sight.

I kind of feel betrayed that this lady sold me electric blue shoes and didn't tell me. I don't always have sighted folks to bring along when I need a pair of shoes, and I'm putting a hell of a lot of trust in the salesperson to listen to what I'm asking for and find something accordingly. I mean, I can't see the shoes. They do feel good, which I guess should be the most important thing, but I'm sure I could have found a pair of white runners that were still comfortable. But now, since I cut the tags off, these electric blue shiny things will be what I wear for the foreseeable future. Maybe I should take a picture of the damn things and put it up.

It's November, or should I say Movember. I swear, this whole Movember thing has gone and pulled a Google in the brain-invasion department. I knew of its existence last year, and I sort of understood what it was all about, but this year, it is everywhere. Granted, I'm seeing a lot more of it on Twitter, but it appears it's really taken off! It's been so everywhere that I dreamed that Steve decided to grow a mo, and was so pissed that he was having so much trouble. I woke up chuckling.

This whole thing of it taking off like crazy is simultaneously great and bad. I think it's great that so many men are getting involved in promoting men's health and raising money for the cause. But it's bad for me! I know so many guys doing it that how on earth do I choose who to donate to? I can't possibly donate to every dude I know sporting a mo for Movember, I'll go broke!

So, I'll do the next best thing, I'll suggest a bunch of people I know who are doing the Movember thing. If you feel moved to do it, toss 'em a few bucks. I donated to this guy, he's one of those awesome colleagues I keep talking about. But work has a whole honkin' team, so there's another way to go at it. Look at that! 63 people doing the Movember thing!

But I know people outside of work who are doing this too. There's our buddy Sean Yo, at least I think it's him, so if you're one of his honeybunches, throw him some dough. Then there's Joel, who saved my butt the first week of work and gave me a ride on the first day. I will always be a biiig fan of Joel for allowing me to, um, get to work on my first day, so he's always a good guy to donate to.

Next up are two guys whose pages I can't find, but would love to. Hey peoples, not everybody can see pictures, so DO NOT USE YOUR PROFILE PICTURE AS YOUR SOLE WAY OF IDENTIFYING YOURSELF. Please please please give me something else to grab onto. Anything. For example, if you're Cam Guthrie, say you're a Guelph city councilor. If you're Dan Gillis, maybe mention where you work or something. Give me something! Unfortunately, you're not the only one with your name, and even if you were, how can I be sure I've got the right dude? I'm about to donate, I'd like to know I'm donating to the right guy.

So as soon as I find those guys' pages, I'll link to them, and then if you feel so inclined, huck them some dough. Good luck everybody doing the Movember thing.

Last Friday, the Guelph Community Foundation was promoting Random Act of Kindness day. On one level, I think it's a really sweet idea. But on the other, I have to wonder. Do we need a day? Can't we just see something and do it? Is it really that hard? And do we need to be given a cookie for doing a good deed? It always bugs me when someone who's giving me a little bit of help says "Ah, I've done my good deed for the day." I'm sure they're just joking, but it always makes me feel just a wee bit like they want a medal or something.

Speaking of cookies, is it wrong that when I saw that one of my Twitter buddies was handing out cookies at a bus terminal, I couldn't help but think "If I received a cookie randomly, would I eat it? Wouldn't Random Acts of Kindness Day be the most perfect coverup to poison random people if you're that kind of person?" Then another part of me slapped myself hard for being so synical. But I still wonder if I would eat a random cookie given to me by a random stranger. But then again, I accept help from random strangers all the time. What's the difference between accepting help and a cookie? I think my brain just exploded.

And another thing that made my brain explode was I saw that Guelph Transit was giving out $20 bus passes with the following instruction "If you get one of these, pass it on!" So, does anyone ever actually use the things? Or do they just keep getting passed around?

I did a couple of random acts of kindness, but sadly neither of them fell on Random Acts of Kindness Day. A bunch of seniors got on the bus I was on and asked if this was the right bus to get them to a certain church. The driver had no clue, and didn't really try to figure it out. So I picked up my phone, looked up information and found them an address. Once I gave that to the driver, she knew exactly where it was and told them they were on the right bus. I didn't do it because it was Random Acts of Kindness Day, I did it because I felt it was the right thing to do, and I felt really good about helping some folks out.

Another time, I found out a friend of mine had a really shitty birthday and said "Oh if only I had some cupcakes!" She didn't know where there was a place near her that had them, so I googled out a shop that would deliver, found a delivery service, and she got some cupcakes delivered to her house a couple days later, which I paid for. I didn't need a bracelet or a card to do it. I did it because I wanted to give her a smile and it made me feel good. Isn't that all the motivation we need?

I guess if it brightens someone's day, then that's all that matters. But wouldn't it be great to move to a kind of community where people did little things for each other all the time just because?

I've noticed something as I follow more people on Twitter. Some of them appear to spend most of their time tweeting about tweeting. Seriously. I guess if thinking about thinking is called metacognition, would this be metatweeting? Don't get me wrong, a little is fine, but these people do it all the time! They tweet about tweetups, effective tweeting, social media conferences, and they hella retweet, but they don't seem to say much of their own...and they have scads of followers! How does that work? I don't get it. I've actually unfollowed a couple of them because I just spend more time skimming their tweets. What am I missing? Somebody help me.

And I think that's about it for now. I'm afraid this will be the trend. Long silences followed by barrages nobody will finish reading. Hope somebody enjoyed this.

An Unwritten Rule Of Hockey

I doubt this comes up in many training camps, so here's a good tip for all you kids out there. If you're gonna play hockey, always, always! remember which team you're on. It might just save you a punch in the face during a goal celebration one day.

Here's a description of what's going on

During a Swedish hockey league game between Mora IK and Leksand, Henrik Eriksson of Mora got a little bit too excited after scoring a goal to give his team a 2-1 lead. After deflecting the puck into the net, Eriksson went into full celebration mode, hugging the player nearest to him, who just so happened to be Alen Bibic of Leksand. Bibic, as you could imagine, took exception to the display, giving Eriksson a quick punch to the face.

This hardly ruined the mood for Eriksson however, who, still smiling, skated a little farther to celebrate with players who wouldn't punch him in the face.

The uploader of the video seems to think the mistake wasn't a mistake at all, but it's funny and a bit stupid either way.

A One Night Stand? That's No Way To Treat Family!

Cops: Tennessee Woman Stabbed First Cousin During Fight Over His Bid For "Booty Call"

Did she stab him for having the nerve to suggest such a thing? No. She stabbed him because she wanted a relationship and not something meaningless. Oh, and he punched her out before the stabbing after she refused his advances. And all of this started with an argument about the status of their relationship. And the couple had each consumed large amounts of Everclear grain alcohol. This stuff doesn't need me at all sometimes.

Erica Wilson, 21, and Jesse Brooks, 32, were arrested and charged with aggravated domestic assault following a brawl in Brooks’s home in Rogersville.

Wilson told a sheriff’s deputy that she and Brooks had “gotten into an argument about the status” of their relationship. It was during the argument, Wilson reported, that Brooks “began to touch her suggestively and stated that ‘he wanted her.’” In response, Wilson told her cousin that she “wanted a relationship and did not want to be 'A Booty Call,'” according to a Hawkins County Sheriff’s Office report.

The latter comment allegedly infuriated Brooks, who began cursing at Wilson, and then allegedly knocked her to the kitchen floor with a flurry of punches. Fighting back, Wilson grabbed a pair of scissors and slashed away at her cousin’s face, neck, arms, and back.

iPadato

The paper laptop and wooden iPad scams have moved across the pond, where we find that a man in the UK has parted with £200 for an iPad that turned out to be a laptop bag full of potatoes.

That's right, citizens of Spartanburg. There are people in this world even slower than you are. For as dumb as some of you have proven to be, at least I can say in your defence that wooden iPads and paper laptops probably do not A: feel like a bunch of lumpy spheres or B: rattle around like potatoes in a bag.

The victim was on Dark Lane at around 4pm when he was approached by a man who offered him the i-pad. A price of £200 was agreed and the men drove to a nearby cash machine on Commercial Street where the £200 was exchanged for a black laptop bag that the victim believed contained the i-pad.

It was not until after the victim left the area and opened the bag, that he discovered it contained some potatoes.

For all the good it'll do, I'm still going to ask again. Why are we not opening these things before money changes hands? Simple I know, but so are the customers.

An Update On The Chip And PIN Credit Card Question

As the title suggests, there's an update to the do chip and PIN credit cards have a problem with blind people question from a couple of days ago.

The best answer I can give after go rounds with the bank and with TD Visa is that I still haven't a clue, and I won't get to find out. I'm not the biggest fan of how we got there, but I think in the end it turned out as well as it could have.

The person at the bank who helped do the PIN revealing thing seemed to understand the problem of buttonless PIN pads, but wasn't aware of them being an everywhere thing much like a couple of commenters said and Carin and I suspected. She suggested that we talk to the people at TD Visa, which we had to do anyway to fully activate the card.

This is where things went a little sideways. The activation person had no good answer, so sent us over to customer service when his job was done. Makes sense. But there was...let's call it a language barrier in the way once we got there. It took a couple of attempts before the woman had even the vaguest idea of what we wanted, and even then it was wrong. She appeared to make the classic assumption that PIN pads equal automatic bad, forgetting that the blind person on the other end of the call likely dialed in on a keypad.

She talked to a supervisor to see what could be done, and when she came back on the line a process had been started to disable the chip and PIN features and to send out the old style magnetic strip cards, even though that hadn't at all been asked for. There was much woe woe woe wait whatting, at which point she talked to the supervisor again and things were kinda sorta fixed.

I guess TD Visa has run into this issue before, because they didn't take long to come up with something completely sensible. What they're doing is sending out a new card, so the one I just got is useless though I should still be able to use the one I've been using for the last few years. They're sending a chip capable card so that it will work even after they start phasing out the older swipe and sign machines. But when it reads the chip, rather than asking for a PIN, the screen will say sign only and I'll have to sign the receipt.

It's a decent combination of the new and old systems, I figure. My card is modern enough not to throw anybody for a loop, and since the sign only command is given from on high by the Visa gods rather than by stupid 'ol me, it'll be harder to get turned away when I do run into a buttonless pad. I'd have preferred to keep the PIN option for situations when I could use it but have a sign option when I can't, but this really does make more sense and should save me potential trouble (see Gods, Visa).

So that's where we are. I'm awaiting both my new card and the first time a clerk thinks the store's machine is broken and I get to explain it. I know it's bound to happen, and I bet it won't take long seeing as it's pretty much Christmas shopping season. Sorry I don't have a better answer for everybody, but if nothing else you know that there is a workaround if you choose to ask for one...and possibly even if you don't.

Shirley Not!

I should be asleep, but I'm a fool.

I'm trying to drag myself out of an epic news Twitter hole, the result of not looking at it for days due to work. And...I found this horrible update.

Remember Shirley Anderson? That woman who abandoned her kids and then tried to make them take care of her because she's old? Well, a judge says her case can be heard. Ridiculous. I hope it's rejected. By the sounds of it, these kids have been through enough.

A Question About Chip And PIN Credit Cards And Their Use By The Blind

The time has come for me to renew my credit card. The new one came in the mail late last week, so now all I have to do is get a hand from somebody to activate it. But before I do, a question.

The new one is one of those chip and PIN deals that all the banks are rolling out to increase security until somebody figures out how to beat the system like always happens. I didn't think a whole lot about this since I've already got a chip and PIN bank card and it's no big deal, but Carin mentioned something the other day that changed that in a hurry.

She thought back to a bit of conversation she'd had with a blind person a while ago. The guy, who from all accounts is no fool, mentioned in passing that he'd gone to the bank and gotten them to deactivate the chip and PIN features on his Visa because of accessibility concerns. Unfortunately the chat had to end before there was a chance to fully explain this and she doesn't have contact info for him, so now we're both curious and a tiny bit concerned.

I've done some Googling and I'm coming up pretty empty. I found the story of a blind fellow in the UK who was refused his request to sign for a credit card payment twice by the same store even though his bank says he's allowed to do that, but the closest thing to an access issue is that all PIN pads are a little bit different, which is the same issue there's been with debit machines everywhere for years and is hardly a deal breaker. The only other things I'm finding are small references to people's disabilities perhaps making it difficult or impossible to use the pads, but none of those explain what that actually means.

So my questions are these: Did Carin's chatting companion over react or is there a real problem here? Are all of the chip and PIN credit card processing machines touchscreens no matter who makes them? Are the majority of them? Did the security people invent a new and exciting way to screw with the blind? Is the problem really no different than it's always been, that not all pads are the same and not all store clerks are created equal?

I'm going to ask the people at the bank and see if that does any good, but if anybody knows, please drop us a note. And feel free to share this around. The more people who see it, the easier it'll hopefully be to get to the bottom of it and solve the mystery. Thanks in advance for any help. You folks are a resourceful bunch sometimes.

The Further Adventures Of The Help, I'm Stuck In An Insert Stupid Place Here Crowd

You have a lot of time to think about strange things when you're down with the flu. Well, I do at least.

One of the things I wondered about for some reason was where the world of foolishness would wander off and call for help from after the corn maze and the apple orchard. As it happens, it didn't take me long to find out.

We begin in Sweden with help, my friend and I are stuck in a shopping cart.

Emergency services in the small tourist town of Ed, in western Sweden, said they were surprised when they received a call Saturday night from two girls asking for help getting out of a shopping cart, The Local reported Monday.

"I presume they found it quite embarrassing," Joakim Nystedt at the Ed emergency services told The Local.

The teens said were in a remote area of town when they spotted the shopping cart and decided to climb inside. Unfortunately, they soon discovered that they were wedged in so tight they couldn't get enough leverage to get out.

They were stuck in the cart for about an hour before help arrived.

"They were sitting next to each other down in the cart, one in the front and one in the back. There wasn't much space left," Nystedt said.

But wait, we're not done. We're now heading back to the United States to bring you I climbed into a baby swing at the park to win a bet with my friends and they left me here.

An unidentified 21-year-old man allegedly made a $100 bet with his friends that he could fit in a child’s swing at Blue Rock Springs Park, police said.

After lubing himself with liquid laundry detergent, he shimmied into the swing and its two leg holes at about 9 p.m. Friday, said Mark Libby, spokesman for the Vallejo Fire Department.

He promptly became stuck, and further swelling and circulation issues made it impossible for him to get out on his own, said Vallejo police Sgt. Jeff Bassett.

And then his friends left him.

It wasn’t until a groundskeeper heard him screaming for help at about 6 a.m. the next morning — nine hours later — that authorities came to free him.

The fire department was called and the man was transported to the hospital...still stuck in the swing, which had been cut down from its pole. Once there, they used a cast cutter to finally free him. His injuries are said to be non-life threatening...the physical ones, anyhow.

We're Still Here

We are, in fact, still alive and well. In my case I should probably add the word finally to that alive and well part, since not being well took like 5 days away from me.

Whatever's going around right now...don't get it. It's far from the worst thing you'll ever have, but it has this way of wasting your energy away to nothing yet tricking you into thinking you're well again and ready to take on the world. That and being tired even after you've slept your life away all day gets really old really quickly. Lazing about and watching TV is fun, but not when it's your only option.

Between that, a concert, some houseguests and Carin being a whole lot more unavailable than before, nothing went up for a week. Oh well, it happens. But I'm once again among the living so we should be back in business.

I'm thankful that I was well enough for the Steven Page show on Thursday. Considering how great it was, it would have been a shame to miss it. For me, missing out on Barenaked Ladies concerts has been a thing since before most people outside of Canada knew who they were, and I was starting to worry that the curse was going to extend to shows by anybody that had ever been associated with them. But I made it and it was awesome. If they had decided to play all night, I'd have been happy to sit there and watch.

I remember when he left the band a couple of years ago wondering how either side was going to carry on without the other. It seemed like they were to each other what bread is to sandwiches. But after giving his solo album a few listens since I got it last Christmas and then going to the show a few days ago, I can tell you for sure that Steven Page is doing just fine. The solo tunes feel right at home beside his BNL work, which isn't something you can always say when somebody goes out on his own.

Speaking of his BNL work, it really struck me while I was there just how many of their best songs are his. I don't always remember exactly who wrote what, but there's never been any mistaking who sang it. Steven Page is a hard guy to replace because nobody else quite sounds like him. If anybody's gone to a recent BNL show, how do they get around that and how weird is it hearing all of those songs sung by somebody else if they even play them? I imagine they have to play them since without them there'd be not much left, but how can it possibly be the same? Does it even need to be the same? Am I thinking this is more an issue than it is because Steven Page and his new band were able to be the Barenaked Ladies and the new band so seamlessly? Whatever the answer, go see him if you get the chance. You won't regret it.

Now I'm off to continue trying to put life back to normal, which apparently involves deleting the 1100 and counting spam comments that have been hitting the site all weekend and into today. Only 2 of them made it through the filter which is impressive, but I'd love to know what's causing the spike. I've been kinda off the grid for a while, so is this happening to anybody else?

And this...this is the part where the post ends abruptly.

Free Cab Rides For Veterans On November 11th

Just ran across this while going through my massive backlog of just about every freaking thing and figured it needed a post since it involves somebody doing good for a change and in case there's anybody reading from Guelph who might be able to take advantage of it. Good on you, Red Top.

Red Top Taxi will be providing free service to veterans from 8 a.m. to 9 p.m., on Nov. 11.

Veterans wishing to access this service are to obtain vouchers for this purpose issued by the company. Red Top president Charles Dadd said these are available through the Royal Canadian Legion Branch 234 or through Red Top.

For more information or to make arrangements to secure a voucher, veterans are invited to call or email the Legion at 519-822-1565 and/or rcl234@on.aibn.com or to call Red Top at 519-821-1700.