Thanksgiving, and Other Rambles

I just felt like rambling, and since the blog may get a little quiet over the next couple of days because Steve and I are both running off to Thanksgiving stuff, what better time for a ramble fest.

First, happy Thanksgiving to all the Canadian readers. Hope you have lots of yummy food and pleasant times with family. It doesn't seem like it should be already Thanksgiving, but here it is. I'm glad the weather is being nice and giving us what is supposed to be a weekend full of sun. Now that I've said that, it'll pour.

I was talking to Ro earlier in the week about Thanksgiving and saying that I have no idea why we celebrate a holiday with the same name as Americans at a different time, and that makes me feel like one of those stupid people in those videos that we've linked to before, who have no idea about the most basic things. So I decided to see if I could figure it out. I was hoping for some cool, exciting explanation that I would be able to remember, but all I can find is that ours is more connected with European festivals celebrating the end of the harvest and being thankful for having enough food for the winter, where the American Thanksgiving is all about the Pilgrims and the Mayflower and stuff.

The funny thing about that is we learned about the Pilgrims and the Mayflower in school when they explained the meaning of Thanksgiving. Then I'd get so confused when people told me that American Thanksgiving is at a different time. So, I'd wonder, did the Mayflower make a stop and drop off some Pilgrims, and then move on? God I was a silly kid.

This is a terrible thing to say, but I always get a wee bit sad about Thanksgiving ever since one guy told me what he thought of the holiday. I was working at the crisis line, and I asked a fellow volunteer what I thought was a pretty safe question. "So, are you doing anything for the long weekend?" He looked at me, and there was a long, heavy silence, after which he said "No. I don't celebrate it. I always thought it was a pretty dark celebration. We say it's about giving thanks for finishing a journey, but we're actually celebrating taking advantage of a whole people. We're celebrating an exchange that went like this. 'Hi Mr. Native guy. Here's some beads, give us your land.'" I always knew that was part of it, but um, to have it put out like that made me just feel a teeny weeny bit guilty about chowing down on Turkey and stuffing.

But then I thought hey, we celebrate easter, and somebody went up on a friggin cross for crying out loud. If we can eat yummy chocolate then, why can't I enjoy some turkey now? Writing that, I feel a wee bit like an asshole. I hope it makes sense though.

I know one thing Trixie is thankful for, this new food I switched her too. Holy hell, Wellness Fish is the fountain of youth for Trix. She's so much more full of life and joy. I didn't think that was possible but apparently it is. I also have to feed her a little more, because she peeled off too many pounds. The boodog is not supposed to be only 50 pounds. Eek! But I think this food is the right stuff, because she didn't need her anal glands done at the time when she usually should. Yea! And so far, no constipation issues. I wish I could remember when the poopy problems started with the Orijen fish, because I don't know if we're out of the woods yet, or if we haven't hit them. She started eating Orijen mid May, and I know there was a serious poop problem by the end of June, but it had already been building for a little while. So I guess I won't be able to really jump for joy until November. But so far, so good.

One thing she's doing more of is drinking, which means she needs to pee more. I don't know if this is something to worry about, perhaps a new normal because of the composition of the fish-based food, or something that will level off. I know her urine was fine as of September because I got all scared at the beginning of September and took her for some tests, and they came back normal. I feel a bit paranoid for getting worried, but I guess it's better to be safe than sorry. At any rate, everything came back normal, so if there is a problem, it's a relatively new development. I guess I'll just keep an eye on it.

Yesterday marks the first day I pissed off Trekker. Well, not really pissed it off, but yesterday was the first day I couldn't follow the routes it was setting for me, so it had to keep rerouting.

I'm going to say again that I looove my Trekker. I never ever want to be without GPS again. I can get lost now and it's not a big deal because it will keep telling me where I am, so I can figure it out with relative ease. It's like sighted folk walking around reading street signs.

I decided yesterday I was going to go on an adventure. I was going to find our polling station so we wouldn't have to tag along with someone if for some reason it didn't suit to do that. So I grabbed my Trekker, and off Trix and I went.

I had plotted a route to the polling station, so I started following it like a good little sheep, baaa baaa. But as I happily zoomed along, what's this? The sidewalk ends? Oh dear, oh dear dear, this is no good.

So, I managed to get myself to a place where there was a sidewalk, and continued. Trekker noticed I wasn't where I should have been and rerouted me. We arrived at the polling station, sort of, and it got all happy.

Then, I tried to go back. Somehow, I got myself all turned around, to the point where it was naming streets that the bus travels on its way *away* from my house. Oh my my, this was no good at all. Knowing when I could use a wee bit of help, I asked Trekker to plot a route back home. And it did, and I tried to follow it.

As I did, I hit some nice unhappy construction, and had to walk on the other side of the street from where I should have been. Trekker kept trying to tell me to cross the street, but I couldn't because there was no crosswalk from my side over to that side. Oh Trekker was not a happy man. "You are off route! Please turn back!" Oh if only I could, buddy.

Finally I got to a light where I knew I could make the crossing. I did, and boy was Trix happy to see familiar turf. I think she knew we were somewhere a bit unfamiliar, and got a bit lost. But she was a trooper, leading me through torn up streets, saving me from falling into pits, just being generally awesome.

But the thing is this whole time, I generally knew where I was, so it wasn't the least bit scary. When I called Steve to say I was on my way home from my adventure, I was laughing! If I didn't have GPS, I'd probably be about ready to kill things. Also, Trekker helped me figure out an easier way to get to the place. It's probably a bit circuitous for Joe Sighty, but it involves less crossings and more unobstructed sidewalk than the other way. Now, if Trekker lied to me and the polling station is on the other side of the street, I'll be slightly mad. But at least I'll be way closer than I would have been with no guidance at all.

I have learned something from someone else's misfortune. One of our frequent commenters, Martin, said that he and his guide dog had a less than pleasant meetin' with a skunk. In telling his story, he mentioned that he got a product from the vet called Skunkoff that worked well in deskunking his poor unfortunate canine. What? You can have a product on hand for just such an occasion? You don't have to cook up a potentially explosive concoction? Yea! I'm a fan! I'm going to have to see if my vet has just such a thing hanging around.

I've noticed that I tend to end these rambles with the eyebrow-raising things that Joe Public does. So, here are a couple. One question that always cracks me up that I get on a pretty regular basis is "Would you like some help putting that harness on?" My first thought is how do they think I got it on in the first place? I'd understand it maybe if my hands were full or something, but I get this question when I have nothing in my hands, not even a bag of dog crap.

Then I remember how complicated the harness seemed to me when I first got it, so I think maybe they think it's a two-person job or something. But when you think about that, wouldn't that suck to have a dog that belongs to one person using a harness that required multiple sets of hands to put on?

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate offers of help. I especially appreciate it when people offer to hold stuff so I do have hands available to put on the harness. But offering to put the harness on is kinda like offering to help me zip up my pants. I have to do it on a daily basis, and I *should* be able to do that without any help because it's a one person job.

The one that super cracked me up was when Steve and I got off the Megabus when we went to see Barb. Immediately, I noticed that Trixie was walking with a hippity hop gait. I asked the folks helping us to stop because I had to check the harness. Sure enough, Trix's front legs had popped through the front of the harness. So, I had to fix it. I bent down and unbuckled the harness. Instantly, the fellow leading us had a canary! "It's undone, let me do it up!" No, sir, I'm fixing it. "But it's undone, let me help you do it up!" No, sir, I have to get her leg back to where it should be. Eventually, I just ignored him, fixed the harness, buckled it up, and we went on our way. But it cracks me up that people think I can't handle something like a dog harness.

Another thing that kills me is when people state the obvious. Allow me to explain. Trix and I went to the store. The store is in a little plaza, the one with the roof, where Trixie wanted to hang out during the rainstorm. When I came out of the store, Trix immediately sped up. This was not happening for any good reason, so I brought her progress to a sudden halt and had her sit. After a second or two I told her forward and steady. Speed again. No, beasteroo, that is not on the program. Sit. Down. Sit. Down. Sit. Down. Are we good now? We appeared to be, to the point that she was carefully edging along. Suddenly, I heard some slight yeeping coming from ahead of me, along with clicking of nails. Ah! It became clear to me. There is a dog ahead!

As we got closer, I noticed that this dog a. was standing outside the door of a building, taking up quite a bit of what is the sidewalk in the plaza, and b. had become very still and quiet. This made me very nervous. This can mean two things. Either the dog is well-behaved, or he's poised ready to pounce on us if we get within a set perimeter that he has decided is his personal space bubble. I came to a stop and assessed the situation a little bit. But of course, Trix was not happy with the fact that we had stopped, and her resistance to this temptation began to dwindle. She started to yeep and move as if she'd like to say hello. Just as this happened, a woman walked up to me and said "there's a dog there."

Well, duh. Thanks for comin' out. If the dog had made no movements and my dog wasn't moving and I couldn't figure out what was obstructing our way, then yeah I guess I could understand telling me that there's a dog there. But a. I'm correcting my dog, and b. I think I'd just finished saying aloudd, "Ah! There's a dog there!"

What would be extremely helpful information in a situation like this would be information about the other dog. Is it loose or tied up? What about its posture. Is it looking like it's about to pounce? Or, is its tail wagging? Are its ears tense or relaxed? That would tell me whether I could probably zip by, or whether I should take the long way home. but "there's a dog there" is not helpful.

Next, this woman thought she would assist me in getting past the dog by grabbing a hold of Trixie's harness handle. Just for future reference, this will get the same response as grabbing a guide dog's leash. Please don't grab any part of the dog. For one thing, that puts your feet really close to mine which means I or the dog might step on you, and for another, it makes it super hard for the dog to do its work because you're kind of right where it's trying to go. If you really think the guide dog isn't doing what it should because it's distracted, and you don't think the dog we're trying to pass is vicious, offer to guide me past the dog. This will do two things. You end up between me and the dog, so Trix may not look at the dog as such a temptation, and you're not in the way, taking up a little more of what little sidewalk we already have.

I was already on edge because we were near a dog and I didn't know what kind of dog it was, so the poor woman got told to let go of the handle in not such a nice way. First I told her quietly to let go, but she didn't, so I raised my voice just a little. Nope. Finally I yelled at her to let go of the handle and she did. I feel bad whenever this happens because I don't want to be the angry blind woman, but gees, please listen to what I'm saying.

Once again I feel guilty writing these things because I don't want to make people afraid to help blind folks. Really, we don't bite. But I hope that what I offer as suggestions are helpful ones that make sense.

And I think that's about it for now. To everybody who's getting ready to feast with family and friends, have a good one.

Sibling Pievalry

I was beginning to wonder how it could be that we made it through a holiday based pretty much entirely on food without hearing about anyone getting beaten with some of it. Well,good things come to those who wait.Thank you, yet to be identified Texas brother and sister.

The 26-year old brother from Texas City and 23-year-old sister from Alvin began arguing at their parents' home in Algoa about 4 p.m. Thanksgiving Day.

As the dispute grew heated, the brother threatened to heave a piece of pecan pie that he was warming in a microwave oven, Tuttoilmondo said. An attempt by the mother to calm the argument failed and the brother carried out his threat, shoving the pie in his sister's face.

Sheriff's deputies were called and the sister sought medical treatment for burns to the left side of her face and neck, Tuttoilmondo said. She later tried to have the case dropped, but under Texas law, family violence cases must be prosecuted.

Police are currently working on the warrant for the brother's arrest, so the story about him being put to death should be on its way any time now.

They Like Us! They Really Really Like Us!

Ro gave us a Thanksgiving award thingy. What a sweety. I swear we're the same person sometimes. I'm happy we never scared her away way back when she started reading our crazy stuff.

So the rules are you're supposed to pass this award on to five other blog authors who you think deserve a little something and explain why. Even though our Thanksgiving was done a month ago, this is cute anytime of the year, so off we go. Damn it I'd give it to Ro, but she already got it, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten it! And damn it, I'd give it to Emily, but she's already become a lucky recipient. By the way, Emily, congrats about Douglas! That is so awesome.

Hmmm. Where do I start? Maybe I'll start with Andrea because without her, we wouldn't have this new template. She seems like a fun person, and her little girl sounds cute cute cute!

The next one I want to give a little something to is Ann Adams. I wish I'd been able to meet up with her when I was getting Trixie. She's just all around cool, and she sometimes makes me think. I feel like I know her even though we've never met.

Another blog that can either be hilarious, heart-wrenching, or a combination of the two, is Sweet | Salty. I first started reading her when she had her twins way early and one of them was in rough, rough shape. Sadly, he didn't make it, and she wrote about the whole experience with such realism and deep feeling that you couldn't help but feel like you were right there with her. She's now written a kid's book, and I'm sure it's friggin awesome. I still wonder if it'll be available in alternate formats.

Jill is also awesome. She has lots of insight into both people and dogs. Speaking of Jill, hey, where've ya gone? We miss you on the comments! I hope you and Paxol are doing well. Please drop me a line some time.

And gees, how could I forget Thordora? Without her, I never would have met Ann, or Kate, or Andrea, since Ann introduced me to Andrea. She can be fun, and even her sadder, deeper stuff is thought-provoking. Plus I think everybody should watch this video. Isn't Vivian cute? I wish I had one of Rosalyn as well, but all her damn video players are embedded as transparent, so if I want a video link, I gotta dig it out of the source code! Blech! And that one I just sort of knew how to quickly find.

Edit: watch 'em both run to the hills.

So congrats to our five recipients. You guys all rock.

Give A Dog A Bone? Not This One.

Back on Monday, Steve mentioned that Trixie started our week of insanity off with a bang. Oh boy, truer words were never spoken.

I went home for Thanksgiving. Things started off pretty well. At one point, my sister's boyfriend asked if Trixie could have a bone. I wanted to see the bone to see what I thought. Oh my, it was a big bone. I asked him where he got it, and he said he got it from a butcher, and it was cooked and meant for dogs. It looked very strong and not easy for her to break up or choke on, so I thought ok, sounds good.

Later, dad said it looked pretty honkin', so maybe he should cut it into two. He did, with a saw! I thought if you need a saw to cut through it, it's probably safe.

Then I gave her a piece. She took it, and started gnawing on it. Before we knew it, the piece of bone was gone! Not worked down from big to small, gone. It didn't exist anymore.

Then I noticed that she really needed to take extra trips outside all day, and she always had to do more than pee. I thought well, that was a lot of bone you ate there, pooch.

I went to bed thinking that if she did need something, she would wake me. She always had before. Not this time. I guess the poor thing knew she didn't have time for such trifles as waking me. She booted it down the hall, looking for an exit nearest to a human. She found one, but the humans near the door didn't get the message. And so...this was the first big accident she has had in the house. The poor thing, she really tried.

She apparently made two more of these trips before I even heard anything. My brother was in a bit of shock when mom and I came bounding out just in time to see him fling the door open for the dog. We freaked out a little because our yard isn't fensed and I always leash her up. My brother threw on his shoes in case we had to chase down a dog. But after the poor thing exploded yet again, she came back to us.

It was then that she got sick...and up came chunks of bone. Dog, no wonder you're sick! You're not supposed to consume the damn thing. It was also then that I started to panic. I didn't sleep a wink after that. All I could think was "Oh my god, she could have an intestinal blockage." Visions of Trix having to go in for surgery were dancing in my head. And to make matters worse, I was six hours from my own vet. I'm sure the vet there would have done fine, but then there was the matter of eventually getting back home.

Whatever her fate would have been, I knew I wasn't getting home that day with my sister since part of that trip would have been on a greyhound bus, and Trix was in no way ready to travel.

When I got up the next morning after not sleeping past 3, I was beside myself. It's been a while since I've just openly bawled in front of mom, but I did that day. I blamed myself for letting Trixie have at the bone, I blamed myself for not watching carefully enough, anything I could blame myself for, I did. Mom had to tell me to "stop it!" Poor mom, she was probably frustrated beyond belief.

After not feeding Trix for about 24 hours since her last food, which she took pretty well, aside from running to every new person who got up as if to say, "Are you going to feed me? Maybe you can tell Carin she forgot to feed me!", we started on some rice with boiled chicken in it. Wow, rice is amazing stuff. It wasn't long before all the diarrhea stopped. And Trix thought this rice was pretty good stuff.

But once we got the diarrhea stopped, it was hard to get things started again. We gradually added food back in, but things were still pretty irregular. Finally, we were convinced she was good to travel, so mom and dad, being the sweethearts they are, drove me back here.

So the moral of this story is, no more bones for you, Trix! I don't need any more heart attacks.

What A Week, What A Stupid, Stupid Week

So yeah...it's been a while, like almost a week since you've all heard from me. don't worry, I have excuses. In fact, excuses are the only reason I'm bothering to write something at all.

The short version of the where have I been story can be summed up in 3 words. This week sucked. I could add 4 more words by saying that things still suck now and then go back to sleep, but I want to try to at least put something of even minimal substance up today.

The trouble started for both Carin and I over the long weekend. Carin (or more accurately Trixie) kicked things off with a bang on Sunday and I'll leave that ordeal for Carin to recount if she feels like it, but the main lesson I hope a certain dog has learned is that bones are for chewing on, not swallowing.

Next up was Monday and the second of 2 thanksgiving dinners for my family. the meal was good as was the company, but it would have been nice if some of that company had decided not to show up for the sake of the rest of us. Come to find out that my uncle and one of his kids were both sick, him for a week and her for I'm not sure how long. Of course, as luck would have it I spent more time than usual talking to this particular uncle, so I bet you can figure out where this is eventually going.

Fast-forward to the next morning. My Grandpa calls my mom's house to see how we're all feeling. Why? Well, because now everybody in that uncle's family is sick, naturally. I knew I was in trouble as soon as I heard this because it's October, and for some reason me and October have a bad history. sure enough, by the end of Tuesday I'm starting to feel a bit of a tickle in the throat. It isn't much, nothing that a cough candy here and there isn't taking care of.

Carin and Trix make it home late Tuesday night thanks to her parents who were nice enough to drive the 6 hours to get Carin back here. A sick dog on a Greyhound bus would have been 0 fun, and even if fun would have been had, unlike a certain uncle of mine we try not to visit our misfortunes on others if we can avoid it.

So after spending part of Wednesday with the Family Carin it's time to start getting things back to normal...right? Wrong!

For a few weeks they've been doing brick work on our building and Wednesday afternoon they finally made it around to our side. Good God it was loud. Hearing JAWS was pretty much out of the question headphones or not which for Carin and I meant that getting anything serious accomplished just wasn't going to happen. That reminds me, I also broke my headphones this week so I need to buy new ones at some point.

So with Wednesday afternoon pretty much a write-off I started looking ahead to Thursday and things I wanted to do. I wish I hadn't.

Thursday entered with the slightly scratchy throat having become full blown voice loss not to mention the addition of an endless hot and cold cycle and full body aches that I'm still kind of dealing with today. this is no good because Friday Carin and I have tickets for the Arrogant Worms show that was cancelled back in June after the River Run Centre became a River when the sprinklers malfunctioned. Oh well, if I rested for the day which thankfully I could since the grinding and hammering had moved further away from us there was always the chance I'd be good to go for Friday.

How about no?

I didn't think it would be how about no at the start. I woke up and had a bit more energy and thought maybe I could pull things together enough to have a nice evening out. that feeling was short lived, coming to its ultimate end when I took a shower and nearly fainted. to make matters worse, Carin decided she'd have what I was having and by the afternoon was feeling about as bad as I was.

But wait, it gets better.

While I was trying not to pass out in the shower, a phone call came. Remember thatDef Leppard concert that was replacing the Aerosmith concert that was supposed to be my mom's Mother's Day Present?How about no? Seriously, it's been cancelled. I can't believe my luck.

Speaking of concerts, we never made it to the worms. We decided we would do the sad but smart thing and eat the $60 so that we could stay home and rest. Saturday was a big day and we needed to be up for it.

We weren't up for it.

Well, more accurately I was more up for it than Carin was so things kind of worked out in a way, but entertaining guests is never fun when you feel like Carin did/does, so I give her major credit for doing so well all night long.

All things considered Saturday was awesome. In spite of hardly being able to talk, I somehow managed to sing. It wasn't the best obviously but I didn't want to miss the chance to play music for the first time in 5 years with one of my favourite people. and play we did, blowing out what remained of my voice. It quickly got back to where it was pre-serenade which means that I'm still not able to speak much above a whisper, but it was worth the good time and I didn't suffer nearly as much as I thought.

Yesterday was pretty uneventful, exactly how we needed it. We spent a good part of it sleeping and relaxing, trying to get over this son of a bitch flu that just won't leave. Carin Ultimately ended up worse off than I did. Since Friday she's hardly been able to eat. Aside from Saturday I haven't eaten much either, but at least in my case whatever I have eaten I've kept.

Hopefully today things will start to turn around. I feel like I'm on the winning end of things now but it's slow going and I need to use my energy wisely. Carin isn't up yet but hopefully she's had a good night's sleep and doing better.

So if there isn't much from us the next little while, we're either still dead or playing catch-up with life. Hopefully things will be back to what passes for normal soon, hopefully your week was better than ours, and hopefully I can soon devote sufficient energy to coming up with another word for hopefully, because there sure were a lot of hopefully's in those last couple sentences.

Talk to you all later...hopefully.

He Shoots, He Sco...No, Wait

While you're throwing your Thanksgiving parties, do remember not to start celebrating too early, like the people in this clip for instance.the Top 10 Premature Sports Celebrations.

I wish I had more time to sit around thinking and writing. It would be interesting to see how many things I could loosely relate to Thanksgiving in a cheesy fashion. Well, interesting for me anyhow. This will probably be the last one unfortunately, or maybe not so unfortunately depending on how you look at things.

Hating Flying And Loving Turkey And Booze

As the Canadians among us get ready to hopefully enjoy the long Thanksgiving weekend, here's some reading material for those of you who have the misfortune of having to fly to wherever you're going.7 True Stories That Prove The Airlines Hate You

If you're one of the lucky few that will actually be leaving on time and don't have a chance to read this right now, long story short, United doesn't justbreak guitars,they also set shit on fire and otherwise find new and inventive ways to make innocent people completely fucking miserable.

But on a happier note, just in case I don't get to say it before I head off on my own trip (no, I'm not flying), happy thanksgiving from Carin and I. She left today to spend some time with her family and I'm leaving tomorrow to do the same with mine, so the site will be going quiet for a couple days. You probably wont' even notice we're gone, and besides, you'll all be doing your own holiday thing anyway. What's that Mr. Stat Counter? The majority of our visitors are Americans? Hmmm. Ok. Yeah. Well, who says you all can't cook a turkey and have some fun for no reason? It'll be good practice for that November deal of yours.

I'll try to crank out a few more posts before I leave, but no promises. Until we meet again, have a good weekend. When we meet again, then you can stop.

Happy Holiday Monday

Hey.

I figured I'd better take a break from drinking in the sun and pop in and say hello and happy Thanksgiving to everybody. Yes my American friends who I know make up a majority of our site visitors, today is Thanksgiving. It's real Thanksgiving, meaning the Canadian version, not that wacky November thing y'all are doing down there. Who's idea was that anyway? Eating turkey a month before you have to eat turkey again? What are you people, retarded? And don't even get me started on that whole black Friday thing. If you know the malls are going to be insane, why go? Would it really be so hard to wait until Off White Sunday when things have calmed down a tad, or is beating somebody up and running off with the last XBox one of those cultural things that I just don't understand?

Ok ok, I kid, I kid. But I don't kid because I love, it's more because I can and right now I've got a sweet buzz and feel like insulting an entire nation. Hey, it's not like with your economy the way it is you can afford weapons anymore, so I'm not too worried about getting blown up or anything.

Oh Jesus, I don't mean to be like that. I'm sorry Tina, it won't happen again. Please baby, please forgive me.

Anyway, on to other things.

If you're Canadian and haven't done it in advance, don't forget to go out and vote tomorrow. And for those of you in Guelph, you'd better be casting your ballot forJohn Turmel.I wish I had some video clips to share with you, but unfortunately nobody has bothered to put up any of our local debate footage. Suffice it to say, the guy's completely fucking insane and much too awesome for words. Anybody who's main platform includes vote for me for sex drugs and rock and roll is fine by me. But in all seriousness, I'll likely be voting NDP. I have a good feeling about Tom King, their local candidate. He's very well spoken and I agree with a lot of what he says. Besides, a vote for Turmel would be a vote for fucking up a world record. Good old John is known for losing more elections than anybody in history, 66 at last count.

Before I go, I have to do something I don't get to do very often, congratulate TNA. I watch every pay-per-view, but I rarely end up paying for them. Last night I bought the company's Bound for Glory show and I have to say it was money well spent. There was nothing on the show that I absolutely hated, and most of it I loved. I definitely suggest buying a replay or getting your hands on it in any way you can, legal or not.

but since it wouldn't be right not to complain about something, here goes. One of the few things that bothered me all night was something that has always bothered me about TNA. Why, during matches contested under no disqualification rules, do people feel the need to distract the referee so that they can cheat? The guy's only job is to count pinfalls. He can't stop you from doing anything if everything is legal. You can hit a dude in the nuts with a hammer and all the ref can do is stand around and watch, and check the shoulders when you decide it's time to go for the cover. It's little things like that that really take away from an otherwise good match. Please, for the love of Christ, stop doing that!

I think that's all for now, the outdoors is calling me. I hope you all have a great day, even you American folks. You deserve one. Believe me, I'd be depressed too if I had Bush for a President and was forced to choose between Obama and McCain as his replacement. then again, no matter what happens you get to replace him, so I guess there's an upside. And when push comes to shove, I'd vote Obama a million times out of a million.

Ok, I'm gone for real now. Sweet dreams...or something like that.

More Talk About the Trixter

Well, here I am again, wanting to talk about Trixie. I forgot a few things in my last post, and then, more stuff needed mentioning. I have so much Trixie goodness that I've started making lists so I don't forget stuff. I really hope these aren't boring to people. Sometimes I wonder if people groan when they see one of these. But so far, no one has groaned in the comments section, so I guess this is a good sign. Allrighty, off we go. Justa little warning. This one's suuuuuper long!

I think Trixie really enjoys going to the drugstore down the street for one reason and one reason only. She can open the door! It's one of those automatic doors that you step on a mat and trigger it and the doors slide open. Well, every time we go past it, she makes a special effort to trigger that door. Ah, the little things that make a dog happy.

She has also figured out how long the elevator doors will stay open, and based on that, whether we should gun it, or slow down when getting close to them. I think she was a gambler in a previous life, because she tries to guess which elevator is going to open, and turns us that way. Sometimes she's right, sometimes she's wrong, but she definitely takes a guess.

She is such a curious, observant dog. If she were human, she'd be that neighbour who always knew when you came home, when you left for work, and on what days you went over to other neighbour Bob's house for a visit. She's always watching everything around her. Even when I first met her, she was so busy staring out in the hall that I was a little worried that she didn't care about me. Nope. She just has to have her eye on everything all the time. Sometimes, I wonder if she ever truly sleeps, because it doesn't take long for her to wake up and snap into action.

One of those things that makes her wake up and run to the window is a siren. I think the only other sound that can bring her over to the window is a dog that's barking strangely. Her reaction to Sirens is the funniest, though. It's like she's saying, "ooo! An accident! I gotta see, I gotta see! Come on, I can't miss any action! Lemmy see!"

Remember how I said she figured out our buzzer? Well here's something else she figured out. She's learned that the cuckoo sound the light at the corner makes means we go. Luckily, she just sorta gets ready, but doesn't bolt out, and still waits for me to say "forward," just in case I'm at a light where we're crossing with the chirp instead of the cuckoo. But she's figured out that sound means we usually start going, and she knows to book it across that street like there's no tomorrow.

You know how I was raving about how flawless her work is? Well, it's taken a bit of a down-turn lately. Not a huge one, I just think I'm entering a new phase of testing. This one's more sneaky. She likes to wait until my hands are full, and then go for everything she can. The most embarrassing incident was when I went to vote last week. The workers at the polling station were all eating turkey dinner, which Trixie was being really good about not going for...until I reached for my ID! Then she gave it a shot! Luckily, someone was quick to warn me, so I could stop her, but that little devil! Tricky, smart little devil! Ah Trixie, if you think you're learning, I'm learning how to counter. Next time I have to reach for something and there are tempting items at nose level, guess who's going to lie down? Ha ha, I win. Let's just hope there aren't more tempting items on the floor.

Another trick she likes to pull is when we're out relieving. She'll walk around looking for her perfect spot, leading me around a couple of poles on the grass. As she's doing that, she'll go really wide and end up on the grass that's further in on the sidewalk! No! That's not all for you! She'll do it all subtle and stuff, just sort of edge over...until I'm telling her no.

While we're out there, her curiosity gets the best of her sometimes, and she will freeze and look at someone coming down the sidewalk. She will just fixate on them, until I either get her to sit until they walk by, or remind her why she's out there.

While in the house, she's getting sneaky too. If she's about to lick some part of the floor hoping to find food, if we catch her at it, she will run to us and wag her tail as if to say, "Who, me? Lick the floor? Innocent little waggly me? What would ever make you think I would do such a horrible thing as to lick the floor?" Oh, I don't know, Trixie, maybe some past history.

I always knew Trixie was smart, but there are some things she does that just solidify it for me. One time, there was a truck blocking a whole bunch of the parking lot. Trixie looked at it, surveyed the area, thought for a second, then dragged me up onto the grass until we passed the truck and then went back to the parking lot. How cool is that?

Then there are the not so cool moments when you realize how smart she is. I think she's starting to not like the vet so much. The other day, she pointed out the parking lot. But as we crossed it, she decided she was going to make it hard for me. Instead of intuitively knowing how to go around the cars to the door I wanted, she decided to take me straight as an arrow to a wall and then I had to tell her to make all the little turns to get to the door. She was going to make it as hard as possible to get in there. Note to self, must remember to give more kibble at the vet door.

This weekend was cool. Trix and I went home to mom and dad's for Thanksgiving. Trixie got to ride in my brother's funky jeep! I think she enjoyed the trip. Everybody loves her...everyone but the cat. Ah, the poor old, cranky, almost xenophobic cat. She does not like new people, and she likes new canines even less. I tried to introduce them, and the cat thought a fine introduction would be a nice, healthy, hissssss! So, the poor cat spent the weekend in hiding. I think she was happy to see the dog go.

The dog enjoyed herself quite a bit, and I was so happy that she didn't get in any trouble. One night, Trix even put herself to bed! That's when you know you have a cool dog.

Remember how I said that because of Trixie, I remember all the kids' names in the building? Well, now I'm starting to remember the names of dogs in the building, and whether they like or don't like Trixie. There's Oliver, who loves everyone, and Trixie would love to come meet him. There's Jacks, who I wish would hurry up and grow up, because he runs in front of my feet and he's so small that I'm afraid I'd crush him. There's Precious the pug who doesn't really care about Trixie. There's Daisy who does not like Trixie. There's Teddie the confrontational lab puppy. There's Mable the dog that someone called a pit bull and then said, "Er, sorry. English Bulldog!" Um, that's a big difference. There's Morgan the schitzu who knows how to wrap my legs up in his leash. Then there are the ones I know by their bark but not by name. There's one who likes to bark at us when we go play, whose bark sounds like some kind of robot. There's one whose growl sounds like a cross between a pull toy and Winnie the Pooh's stomach growling. Yep, that's an odd description, but it's an odd growl. God, I could go on and on. The point is I couldn't identify a single dog in this building before, and now I know a bunch of their names!

Remember how I also said that people say Trixie's name before mine? Well, here's a new spin on it. I was on the bus when at one point, the bus driver said, "Hey! Trixie's owner! What stop do you want?" After telling her, I laughed and told her my name. She said she felt guilty, but wanted to ask me before the stop went by, and couldn't think of my name for the life of her.

In that post, I also mentioned people's extreme attitudes on corrections. Well, I'm finding the same thing goes with her work. Some people are absolutely astonished that she knows to stop at steps, or can follow them. This seems impossibly good. Um, that's what she's for. If she was just a dog and wasn't trained to do those things, well, I'd be a human projectile and that wouldn't be good. But if she does one bad thing, the reaction is "I thought they weren't supposed to do that." You're right, they aren't *supposed* to do that, but they are dogs, and they will try. Can't we meet in the middle somewhere?

Then there are the people who, no matter how many times you explain to them how much training, including obedience, and temperament-testing goes into finding guide dogs, think they can go out and buy a puppy and it will end up being "a Trixie." My neighbour keeps saying "I want a Trixie!" To that, I say, are you ready to do a whole hell of a lot of training? "No, I can't do that," she says. Well, your dog won't be a Trixie. She seems to think I've done all the work. Oh no. No no no no no. It started long, long, long long long long long, before they even knew the two of us were to meet. I'm just trying to keep up all of their hard work. And then there's the issue of whether the puppy she went to get from the store was the right temperament. god, how many dogs are dropped from the program because they just won't do certain things? A whole ton! So, it's not easy to get a Trixie. I'm lucky to have her.

And I think that's about it for another edition of Trixie updates. I'm sure I'll be back sooner rather than later with more. That just seems to be the way things go.

Back From The Weekend And Feeling Chatty

Well, I'm home, I'm alive, and I had a pretty dandy long weekend. Although when you've got a good family, lots of good food and a few good drinks, it's hard to end up with something you could describe as anything other than dandy. Maybe if you prefer words like smashing or fanglorious you could use one of those instead, but I wrote dandy and I'm not changing it now.

I guess since I've mentioned it, I should probably tell you about it if you care to listen, or I suppose read if you want to get technical about things.

Jim Cuddy got the weekend off to a fine start on Friday night. His set was fantastic, and there's no way I could say enough good things about it. He's one of the best voices around, he writes damn good songs, and he knows how and when to talk to an audience which is something that gets overlooked a lot but can go a long way towards either making or breaking a show. He also managed to not lean too heavily on the Blue Rodeo stuff. There was some, but it was sprinkled in just the right spots and it took nothing away from his solo work, which when you're on a solo tour should be the focus. His band was also great. They were bang on and tight all night, not even missing a beat when a small amplifire broke out. God, I can't believe I just wrote something that stupid. But yes, there was a problem with one of the amps and it started smoking a little. It was all taken care of quickly and it didn't throw anybody off one bit. Hell, they even finished the song they were playing at the time and most of the crowd didn't realize what was going on until after it was all over and people onstage started laughing about it.

There was even an opening act, something I wasn't expecting until they came out and started playing songs. They were called Oh Susanna and they were also quite good. They had some sound problems during their set which took away from things at times, but over all I was pretty impressed with them. They were one of those bands that I'd heard of but hadn't really heard, and now that I have, I'm definitely interested in hearing some more. I wasn't able to get a CD at the show, but I've got one now, mainly because I figured out how to spell their name correctly, which kind of made the whole internet search thing go a little better.

And quickly while we're on the subject of music, if you're at all a fan of swing or blues, you should definitely check out the Colin James & The Little Big Band 3 album. I'm listening to it for the first time as I type this, and it's sounding pretty good so far. I really like the first 2, so I'm glad this one is looking like its going to live up to that standard.

Ok, back to the weekend.

I spent most of Saturday visiting with my dad, who I've talked about here
before.
He's doing ok, but still largely the same as ever. He has his good days and his bad days and I don't think that's ever going to change. There are times when he seems completely with it and on top of things, and then there are times when you wonder what the fuck he's talking about and what world he's living in. this might seem like a horrible thing to say, but it's kind of like he was before the stroke, only to a greater extreme and with a quieter voice.

The strangest thing about spending any length of time with him is getting to see both of those sides at almost the same time. Talking to him on the phone you usually get one or the other rather than constant switches back and forth, but seeing him in person for more than a few minutes is kind of a mind fuck. He'd show me a picture, say "check this out", then stop for a second as if he's thinking aww shit that's right, you're one of the blind ones and then say "it's a picture of your cousin's wedding, they got married back in August." Then there were the times when he'd say things and it would take me a second to realize that yes this is 2007 and no, he didn't not have the stroke. But then just as quickly he'd be back talking about how him and his buddies had to take the snow into the barn before dinner so that the cocksucking mice wouldn't eat all the shoes.

And in case you're wondering, yes, he's still drinking, but it doesn't bother me anymore, at least not very much. He drinks less than he used to for one thing, but more than that, I've again come to accept that that's just who he is and nothing short of death or a miracle is going to change him. It sounds weird I'm sure, but I'm at the point now where I can have a beer with him and not feel all that bad about it.

Sunday was family Thanksgiving dinner day. It was pretty much what you'd expect out of a family gathering so I won't bother with details, I'll just say that whenever there's food on offer and I don't have to cook it, I'm a happy guy.

We ended up ordering the No Mercy pay-per-view because my 8-year-old cousin is starting to get into wrestling and wanted to see it. Of all the reasons to talk your dad into dropping $40 on a pay-per-view, he picked Batista and The Great Khali in the Punjabi Prison Match. Oh how great it is to be a kid, and oh how lucky it is for the kid that pops knows nothing about wrestling, otherwise Steve would have been downloading a torrent right now rather than writing about the thing after watching it live.

My thoughts on the show? Other than the Last Man Standing main event and the chance to watch a few kids get as excited about wrestling as I did when I was young, the thing was completely and utterly fucking useless. Here's some free advice for WWE even though they're not really in the habit of listening to the fans anymore. when booking a PPV, a good rule of thumb is to make sure that what you're serving up is better than what we can see for free. Then again, it's also a good idea to make sure that what we're seeing for free is better than the dreck you're passing off as television nowadays so that we'll want to part with our $40 in the first place. When it feels like I'm watching a horribly shitty Raw that's going on way too long, that's bad, especially when it has such a hefty price tag attached to it.

If you missed this show and you're thinking about ordering a replay, don't. You'd be better off pissing on your 40 dollars or setting it on fire and saving 3 hours of your life. But if you insist on experiencing the feeling of those of us who wound up watching it, I'll wait here while you glue your scrotum to the frame of an automatic door and let it open and close a few thousand times.

The main reason aside from the epic incompetence of the "creative" team for the sucktitude of this show was Triple H. Yes he was in the best match on the card and he did lose in the end, but did we really need him wrestling 3 times and making Umaga look like a worthless douchebag after all the work they put into building the guy up and actually getting something right for once? Note to the H's: As much as you'd like to think otherwise, you are not The Rock and you are certainly not Steve Austin. When they blew through guys on their way to a title or just because they could, it made sense most of the time. If one of them was fighting Umaga, it would have looked like a struggle. I know you were selling the ribs, but I don't think one person watching that show thought for a single second that you were in any danger of losing that match. If that were Steve Austin, that match would have looked like a war and when he finally won you'd have gotten the sense that he was in a fight for his life and somehow made it out because he's just that awesome. Watching you in there was like watching another day at the office. It's ok to come off as vulnerable now and then, it adds depth to the character, not to mention preserves the characters of the guys you won't have to squash to serve your own interests.

But enough about that, and enough of this post. Other than spending some more time with the family and having dinner with Chad from
Band.Zero
who you need to check out immediately because they're good people and turning into a fine musical act not to mention that I can take some credit for the song on their main page right now, not much else happened that needs mentioning. So thanks as always for reading, and I'm sure I'll be back sooner or later. for now I'm going to check out the news, eat some supper and try to find out more about the car accident that happened outside a few minutes ago. Have a fine evening, and if you're in Ontario, don't forget to get out and vote while there's still time.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving

Even though we seem to have more American visitors than Canadian ones these days, I still wanted to take a second to wish everybody a happy Thanksgiving. What ever you're doing and whoever you're doing it to, I hope it's a safe and happy experience for each and every one of you.

I'm sure very few of you care, but if you're curious about how I'll be spending my long weekend, I'll be heading out to
The River Run Centre
with my Mom and Carin tonight to see
Jim Cuddy.
I've seen him as part of
Blue Rodeo
before and it was great, so I'm looking forward to seeing if a solo show is just as good. I can't believe I bought those tickets all the way back in May for Mother's Day. Christ time flies. After that I'm off to the family home to do all of the traditional holiday running around as well as the eating and drinking that goes with it. Good times.

One thing I more than likely won't be doing though is posting around here, and the same goes for Carin who is heading off to see her own family for a few days as well. So if things get a little quiet around these parts, that's why. Hey, at least we warned you this time, unlike in the summer.

And if you're in Ontario, don't forget to get out and vote next week if you didn't hit one of the advance polls like Carin and I did yesterday. Carin can tell you if she wants, but if you read our
Guelph debate blog
and were wondering how either of us voted, I decided on Liberal and yes to the electoral system change question. Say what you want about broken promises and such, but it's hard to look at Ontario now and say that it isn't in at least a bit better shape than it was when we took it away from the Conservatives in 2003, so why mess with something that doesn't need messing with?

I think that's all for now. I'll talk to you when I talk to you, probably Tuesday or Wednesday. In the meantime, go have some fun. It's pretty damn nice outside for an October, so go enjoy it before it's gone.

Checking In, Saying Hi, Writing Things Down

I hope that everyone who celebrates it had a good Canadian Thanksgiving. Mine was great, thanks for asking. It was a good excuse for me to see my family, who I don't see nearly as much as I'd like. It was also a good excuse for me to eat ridiculous amounts of food. The last time I can recall stuffing down so much dessert in a 24 hour period was last Christmas, but last Christmas there were 3 dinner gatherings, not 2. And through all of the eating and catching up, I still managed to learn something. That broken telephone campfire game that I'm sure most of us played as kids is a lot more fun when you're playing with a buzz and when a couple of the people in the circle don't have the greatest hearing.

It was nice to see the Leafs finally win a game on Tuesday night after a couple of shootout losses to Ottawa and a loss to Montreal on Saturday that I didn't watch. I was one of the people who was upset before the season started about them not making a whole lot of big name signings, but I'll say now that I'm pleasantly surprised at how well they've been playing. Even in losses, they've got quite a few guys who are all over the puck and creating good scoring chances. Now if they could only get a lead and hold on to it for more than a couple of minutes at a time, they might just have it made. But having said all that, there's still a part of me that wonders if we could be in for another year like we've had in the past, where goaltending keeps them in a lot more games that they have no right winning, or even coming close in. I guess time will tell, but I'm going to make a really bold prediction here and say that we're not looking at a cup contending team this year.

Man, has WWE been sucking more than usual lately or what? I can find good in wrestling where a lot of people can't, but even I'm finding myself having trouble coming up with good things to say about the last few weeks of programming. I honestly think it's some of the most boring and uninspired crap I've ever sat through, and I've watched a lot of wrestling in my life, a fair bit of it bad. The sad thing is that WWE, with the talent pool they have access to, should find it impossible or at the very least exceedingly difficult to put on horrible and unimportant shows week in and week out. Yet somehow they make doing so look absolutely effortless, it's amazing.

Take Raw Homecoming for example. That show had an Ironman match between 2 of the best workers the business has ever seen, a Ladder match featuring 2 guys who's names just about noone can argue come almost immediately to mind when the words Ladder match are spoken, and appearances from a huge list of legends that are rarely if ever seen outside of local independent shows or a WWE TV cameo now and then. But still, somehow, some way, the folks at WWE managed to turn what could have easily been an event that should have been talked about for months if not years to come into just another show, and not even a good one at that. A non-finish in an Ironman match? Ironman matches decide champions and end feuds, they don't...whatever the point of that was, they don't do that. The match was great, but in the end I felt let down, and after 30 minutes of Michaels vs. Angle, that's not the way anybody should be feeling. The Edge vs. Matt Hardy ladder match was good, but it was over before it really had a chance to get started. You had 3 hours and an overrun, why not shorten something else, like one of the million pointless interview segments that accomplished nothing more than poorly advancing bad angles, or worse, wasting TV time on things that weren't going anywhere beyond this 1 night? This show could have and should have been so much better than it was, and the fact that it didn't even come close speaks to some huge problems behind the scenes in WWE in my opinion, for whatever that's worth.

I got a call last night from one of those survey companies. No, I'm not upset about it, I don't mind those. They're sort of fun, they're not trying to sell you anything, and those polls are one of the only ways you can get your government to consider listening to you, even if all you are is anonymous guy number 5423 in poll number X19. Who you are doesn't matter, because you're a voter, and everything related to voters and their feelings is measured in numbers, so politicians tend to live and die by them, changing their positions on just about everything under the sun based on each new set that lands in front of them. Ok, where was I? Right, the phone call I got yesterday.

It started out normal enough. The guy introduces himself, asks me if I'm over 18 and whether or not I've got time to answer a few quick questions, completely standard stuff. Then he launches into some questions about the province's electrical system and my feelings on various aspects of it. How we should be generating our power, how important environmental concerns are when making such decisions, that kind of stuff. Then he hits me with one I'm not expecting.

"In the last 4 weeks, how many times have you shopped in an LCBO store, and how would you rate the service on a scale of 1 to 10?"

For those of you who don't know what the LCBO is, those letters stand for Liquor Control Board of Ontario, which as should be quite obvious to hopefully everyone reading this, has nothing to do with hydro. I'd love to know how those 2 subjects found their way into the same survey, especially since they were the only 2 topics covered. It wasn't a long, drawn out questionnaire on my feelings on all sorts of government-run services, it was hydro and booze, that's all. That's totally random and I'm overly curious about it. Why wouldn't they have put the booze questions in a survey about health care, that would have at least made some sense. As things stand now, the only theory I can come up with as to how those 2 things became related is that lots of people drank beer during the big blackout a couple of years ago, and they would have had to get it from an LCBO location. I really should have asked, but I was kind of in a hurry and now it's driving me nuts. Oh well, it's my own fault for not taking the extra time to find out.

Wow, I didn't realize this while I was writing, but I suppose this story kind of has a bit of a moral to it. Slow down, take your time, and ask questions. It's the only way you're ever going to learn anything.

And on that happy note, I'm going to take a few minutes and learn a little about what my lunch options are. I'll talk to you all a bit later on.

The Post Office, Technology, Holidays And Much Much More...maybe

I should start out by wishing all of our American readers a happy Thanksgiving. I should, but I'm not going to, Ha! Seriously, happy Thanksgiving. Wherever you are, I hope you're having a happy one, unless I don't like you, in which case I hope you choke on your dinner, prick! In fact, choke on it twice just to make sure that it's a job well done.

I saw on the news today that President Bush went to Iraq to have a visit with some of the troops that he's sent to their deaths who haven't quite held up their end of the bargain yet. I've gotta say, I've never hoped for a terrorist attack in my entire life, until I heard he was there. I want to clarify that I don't hate the military. I understand that they've got a job to do and I respect that. They're doing something that I'd never have the guts to do, march head on into what could very well be certain death on the orders of rich people who aren't brave enough to do their own dirty work but wish to collect all the benefits. I just happen to think that your commander in chief is a fucking pimple on the ass of life and needs to be scrubbed, and soon! Whether you vote him out or somebody offs him I don't care, he just needs to be gone for the sake of the entire world. Ok, let's change topics now, don't wanna get overly political here, at least not right now.

If any of you are using the paid version of the pop-up blocking program
Ad Shield,
I wanted to warn you not to install the new multi-media block list they have posted. The thing is way too trigger happy and blocks out pretty much all forms of media that aren't text or html. I'm talking about everything from flash to mp3's, however they fit into the advertising spectrum. Flash, yes, mp3's, what the fuck? I put the thing in, then realized what it did when I couldn't do a goddamn thing. I then spent the next while trying to clean out all the new entries in the list box. It's not hard, it's just time consuming and a pain in the ass. It merges with the regular block list, so you have to scroll through that whole thing and remove each new entry individually. I sent them an email asking them what the hell they were thinking, so maybe I'll post what they say once they write me back.

I'm not talking about the standard block lists, I'm talking about this new one that is dated November 21st that's under a different heading. The standard lists are fine, and if you haven't done so, grab the one dated October 29th and import it, it blocks some cool new stuff. Well maybe cool isn't the right word, but it's cool that it blocks what it does.

And if you're not an Ad Shield user, you should be. It's the best $29.95 U.S I ever spent on my computer, right up there with the cheap virus scanner I have, but it didn't cost that much so Ad Shield wins. They have a trial, but you don't get the sweet block list files which means you'll have to create your own which would take a long time seeing as it blocks over 650 ad serving sites now, not to mention what it can do without the list.

Enough about that, I said I was gonna talk about the post office, and that I am. I was there yesterday picking up some stuff that I bought online when I got an idea. I'm not sure if I'm the first one to think of this, but I'm gonna call it my idea for now.

Anyway, I was watching people pay to get stamps, and to have things forwarded and all manner of things that they charge for in there when I realized that hey, you could probably send anything you wanted for free. Ok, maybe that's a bit of a stretch, but I bet you could send letters to your folks this way. All you have to do is either mess up the address on purpose or not fill it out at all. Then, instead of writing the return address as your house, put down the address of the person you wanted it to go to in the first place. In case you don't know, the return address is where they return stuff when the postage isn't quite right, like when people like you who will be trying this don't put a stamp on it, or when they can't ship to the destination. Then drop it in your local mailbox, like the ones they have in malls and such and let the fun begin. Note: Don't use your own mailbox, because then they'll know who you are and that you're up to no good.

I've never tried this because well, I just thought it up yesterday and I haven't had to send anything at all since then, let alone something I don't mind losing if they decide to send it to the dead letter office instead. But if any of you have done this before or want to give it a go, let me know how it turns out.

I think that's all I've got for now. I'll be back later, hopefully when I'm in a better mood. I'm not in seriously bad moods much of the time but for some reason I am now. Weird part is there's no reason for it, none at all. Oh well, I'm sure it'll go away with time. So until we meet again, happy holidays to the Americans, and mary Thursday to the rest of the world.

I Hate That

I think one of the worst things in the world to have happen to you is to be cleaning out your fridge and happen upon something that you forgot you had. God it's terrible when that happens. I think it would have to be right up there with cleaning up somebody else's vomit or shitting your pants. You know you have to get right in there and take care of the situation but you just get such a feeling of dread and your gag reflex kicks in something fierce and it's next to impossible sometimes.

The puke thing is bad but at least you know what you're getting into once you have time to assess the situation. Opening containers in the fridge is a whole different ballgame though. It's kind of like a mind game between you and whatever horror lies within. On the one hand you're thinking "ok, this can't be that bad, it hasn't been there that long, has it? I'm such a puss, I should just open it." But on the other you've got that voice of reason saying things like "I don't remember the last time I used that tupperware for anything, maybe we should leave this for the girlfriend to find." Some sort of mystical rancid forces are trying to turn your left and right brains against each other but inevitably you strike a balance between fearlessness and caution and decide to investigate...in the slowest manner possible.

So there you are, container in hand wondering if there's any last minute garbage that needs to be taken out or if you should call your Mom just to say hello. But no, you are a fighter and damnit, you can get through this! Slowly you reach for the lid, all the while cursing yourself for not getting rid of things once a week. If only you were more vigilant, none of this would be happening. Then it happens, the top comes off. Sometimes it's not so bad. It's not so good mind you, but it was better than you were expecting it to be, nothing jumps out at you. But sometimes, like today for instance, you are greeted by something so vile and disgusting that you question the whole practice of eating food in the first place. Man, I hate Thanksgiving.