VomitComet

25 May, Sun, 14:43:10
Google:
is Cody Eugene Williams black

Well how should I know? A better question is why do you care? Do you know a white Cody Eugene Williams and want to assure yourself that he hasn't been getting funky with your car? Or, did you see a black guy giving your precious baby the eye in the area where this happened and wonder if it was him?

Why do people search for some stuff? I'll never ever know.

I think Megan Jane Conroy needs to take some lessons from Ben, or is it Dan, Krull. I can't imagine that many people mixing up his name. I know lots of Bens, and none of them say they're called Dan a lot. I'd want to hear what he sounds like when he says his name.

I can sympathize with the poor soul. My last name has had n's and x's added to it, even after I'd just spelled it for people. Back whenI didn't know how to sign my name, because when your blind, signing doesn't get taught early on, I asked someone else to sign me into some event. She asked me how to spell it. I said, "h, e, a, d, r, i, c, k!" "Very good, " she said. She turned to my dad. "This way, Mr. Hendrick." Nooo!

My first name has had an o put where the a goes, and someone who works at the bank flipped the i and the n, so I was Carni for a while. Or there are the people who assume that my first name is Karen when I say it on the phone. Then, they claim I don't exist until I remind them, "It's C a r i n." I'm actually shocked that every speech synthesizer I've ever had has pronounced both my names right.

And then, of course, there are the jokes people make with my last name. That's what happens when it starts with the word head. I have a friend who insists she has it worse because her last name is Armstrong, but somehow I doubt it. but then again, maybe the jokes she gets are more corny and less dirty, and that could be worse.

I know what it's like to stop correcting people. There was a time that I was mistaken for another person at the school for the blind, by both students and staff, so often that I started responding to her name. One day, I got a big scare as I sat in this hallway by the school dining room. One of the teachers marched over to me and said, "don't you know that it's against the rules to steal silverware?" I stared at her, confused. Was there a spoon stuck to my pants somehow? What was she talking about. Realizing that she had the wrong person, she said, "oops. I thought it was the other girl. She played a character in the school play who stole forks and stuff, so I was trying to give her a hard time." I'm just glad the other girl didn't do anything criminal in real life. That could have been ugly. I can just see it.
Me: I'm not who you think I am.
Cop: I know they all saw you do it.
Me: But there's a girl who they always think is me!
Cop: Yeah, right. Sure. Move along. You have the right to remain silent...

What would be really weird for this guy is if he ended up meeting an actual Dan Krull. Would that Dan just happen to have a problem where everyone thought his name was Ben?Talk about your parallel universe!

This story isn't too funny, maybe chuckleworthy, because a deer came crashing into a hair salon. but what's more funny is somewhere out there, there's a wildlife conservation officer named Glen Campbell. Hee hee hee hee!

Well, looks like they decided to charge the assholes who swiped that Girl Scout's cookie money, and at least one of them has moved on to bigger and better things, only now we have her name because she's 18. Stefanie Woods pleaded no contest to leaving Denny's without paying. All the little punk has learned to do is say sorry. Then probably she thinks she'll get half a chance. Not after getting convicted of stealing the cookie money.

Why did that story make me so angry? There are far worse crimes than not paying a bill for a meal. Oh yeah, they involve stealing things from little kids.

Don't piss anyone off in Butler, Missouri. You may wind up full of lead. Why? Because tons of people carry tons of guns in their cars. Now, there's a car dealership who is taking advantage of this love for things that go bang boom pow. If you buy a car at Max motors, you can get either $250 in free gas, or a free semi-automatic handgun! Well actually you just get the certificate for a semi-automatic weapon, but if you pass the background check, you can have one absolutely free, and 80% of people are taking the gun over the gas.

Walter Moore, an employee at Max Motors, says it's just because there are so many carjackings and thefts out there that one should protect themselves. Ok, I guess. I don't know much about semi-automatic handguns, or guns in general, so at first I thought they could fire a lot of bullets per minute. Yup,Jill can start laughing at my complete lack of gun knowledge. I guess they can only fire one shot per pull of the trigger. But from the googling around that I've done, marines use semi-automatics, and there have been lots of gun accidents with the things going off if kept in the fire when ready position. Do we want that in the car?

All I know is I hope the Butler area doesn't have a lot of road-ragers, or there may be a lot of armed road-ragers.

Naked man jumps on cars in Avila Beach

A naked man was arrested Saturday on suspicion of trying to have sex with a taxi cab in Avila Beach, authorities said.

Cody Eugene Williams, 27, of El Dorado Hills, was found about 6:15 p.m. on First Street wearing only his birthday suit and simulating intercourse on the windshield of the cab, according to San Luis Obispo County Sheriff’s officials.

The cabbie was still inside the taxi, investigators said.

Williams, reportedly intoxicated, also jumped on at least three other cars and broke a windshield, sheriff's officials said.

Over on
WFMU's Beware of the Blog
there's a
post
on country songs that were recorded to take advantage of how popular The Twist was in the 50's and 60's. All of them are ungodly horrible as you might expect, but one of them goes above and beyond the call of duty in so many ways it's not even funny. Actually it is funny, but you know what I mean.

The tune in question was recorded by a fellow named Ray Kannon. I know nothing about this man, but if the rest of his catalogue is as fantastic as this that may have to change in a hurry. I say this for one reason, that reason being that anybody who takes the Muleskinner Blues, changes a few words and calls it the
Muleskinner Twist
has to be a creative genius who's mind is brimming with great ideas.

This is another case where I have no words, and I can hear the words "We're doomed!" resounding in my head. I can also hear the words of another man. I do some work for an adult literacy organization here in Guelph, and they had a little volunteer appreciation night. Someone who's been with them from the beginning did a speech. One of his closing statements was "The only way we can have less kids slip through the cracks and need adult literacy programs is to fail the ones who need to fail instead of just handing them outa pass." I hear those words because now a whole bunch of school districts across the States are rounding up grades below 50 to 50 so it's harder to fail.

Nooo! It may be harder to fail, but it will be harder for the kid to get the message that they're not getting it. Would you pay a worker for half a day even if they didn't show up? No! With this new system, averages that should rightly be in the 50's are falsely inflated to 65!

And what does that teach a kid about basic math? 0 = 50? No! Not after you get out into the real world, kid!

I see that some people are searching for where to get Rescue Remedy in Guelph. Well, I get mine from the Stone Store. Here, have a map! It even has their phone number. Good luck. They certainly have what you're looking for.

Maybe the whole reason we've had kids burning other kids in sheds and lighting each other with bug spray in Winnipeg is because of the presence of lighters with cartoon characters on them. I don't think so, but it can't be helping. Who in their right mind would design an Elmo or Cookie Monster lighter? What adult would walk around with that? And do we want kids thinking they're ok to use because they have cute characters on them? Yikes! And in all the places for them to show up, why Winnipeg? Thank god a quick-thinking custoemer raised a stink, and the display was removed.

I just thought I'd link to a cool study being done so that perhaps it would help get more participants. Martin Talbot is a PHD student in human computer interactions at the University of Waterloo. He's trying to design a navigation system for blind people. But unlike the makers of the Swan and the Mygo, he wants to involve blind people in its development from the ground up. He cares about aesthetics and other practical concerns, and he wants to know what is important to us. I think that's awesome, and I hope that he gets lots of diverse participants. At least he realizes that all blind people are different, and just because one says it rocks doesn't mean the next one will agree. I've met this guy, and he is a breath of fresh air with a mind that is constantly working, trying to think of better ways to do things. Here is a short snippet about his study.

Hello, my name is Martin Talbot. I am asking you to volunteer in a study that is part of my PhD research in Human Computer Interaction at the University of Waterloo.

In this study, I examine an important theory in distance  perception. The theory has never been tested with sounds and persons who are blind before. This study tries to find out if the theory works for you and to learn if you like how the interaction "feels".

As you probably know, the vast majority of technologies available for blind people are developed without involving blind participants in the design process. It is typical to have the products designed by sighted people and then tested on blind subjects. This study aims to involve blind persons in the design decisions right from the beginning. The 
study's objective is the design of an effective, efficient, learnable, and memorable interactive model to enhance spatial orientation in blind persons.

If you agree to participate, you will be asked to fill out a short questionnaire about your vision condition. I will be happy to help you. The questionnaire is available online, so you can read the questions beforehand. All your answers will be anonymous.

All the details about the study, including the task, remuneration, risks, and more, are revealed in the official invitation letter available online at the following address:
http://www.cgl.uwaterloo.ca/~m2talbot/phd_exp/exp1a.htm.

The questionnaire's questions are available online at the following address:
http://www.cgl.uwaterloo.ca/~m2talbot/phd_exp/questionnaire.htm.

This study was reviewed and received ethics clearance through the 
Office of Research Ethics, University of Waterloo.

Thanks for your interest in this research.

Martin Talbot

So there's my small way of helping out. He's looking for participants in the Waterloo region, but maybe in the future, he may turn up elsewhere. Who knows. I hope he gets a lot of useful input.

23 May, Fri, 17:30:42
Google:
pictures of randy orton penis please

What's with people writing search queeries like they're talking to the search engine? "Can I have some Randy Orton penis pictures, please? If it's not too much trouble. Thank you ever so much!" It's a computer. It doesn't need to be talked to. You're actually screwing up your search by throwing in pleasantries. But the image of someone politely searching for porn is too funny.

If you've ever wondered what exactly makes a person a life-long premature ejaculator,
now you know.

The definition was developed after lengthy critical evaluation of the evidence presented in more than 100 studies on the sexual problem published over the last 65 years. It was unanimously agreed by the experts that the definition of lifelong premature ejaculation should be a combination of three key factors:

-- Ejaculation that always or nearly always occurs prior to or within about one minute of vaginal penetration.

-- The inability to delay ejaculation on all or nearly all vaginal penetrations.

-- Negative personal consequences such as distress, bother, frustration and/or the avoidance of sexual intimacy.

Two things to note:
1. It took scientists from 10 countries to figure this out.
2. The full results of the study will be published in something called the BJU International, which is a fine place for them when you think about it.

Apparently
car fucking
is more widespread than we thought, at least so says
this story from the Telegraph.

I don't have enough confidence in my abilities as a writer or reporter to think that I could ever do this thing justice, so I'll let the words of Washington's Edward Smith do the talking for me.

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.

"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.

"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."

He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."

Then there's this, which is so goddamn awesome that I can't help but get to wondering if this guy is working us.

Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men.

But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.

The rest of the article is oddly fascinating, including the revelation that there are at least 500 people hanging around the internet who are also willing to admit to and openly talk about their car loving ways. The surprising part isn't that these people exist, but that if there's 500 of them talking about it, there has to be a lot more of them living in silence.

If there's a lesson to be learned from this...I have no idea what it is. the best thing I can come up with is invest in a car cover. then again, perhaps these people would look at one of those in much the same way as many of us would look at lingerie, so it appears that's probably out.

Some of you might remember the
story of Pat Dykstra,
the woman who called 911 from behind the wheel of her car to report that she was too drunk to drive. Well, strange as it sounds, and to me it sounds quite strange because I can't remember 1 case of this in my lifetime let alone 2 in the same year,
it's happened again,
this time to an unidentified man from Seattle, Washington.

DISPATCHER: "911 What are you reporting?"

DRIVER: "I just don't know if I'm safe to be driving."

DISPATCHER: "OK. Where are you right now?"

DRIVER: "Uhhhhhh, somewhere between Kent and Southcenter."

DISPATCHER: "And why wouldn't you be safe?"

DRIVER: "I'm pretty drunk. I don't feel good."

It's nice that these goofs are calling themselves in, but it would be even better if they had the sense to call for a ride before it came to that point.

From the company that brought you
let's try to run a charity cafe out of business
and le'ts fire a nice lady because she had the nerve to give an infant a free Timbit comes another blockbuster.

Introducing
let's not allow pregnant homeless people to eat in our stores and follow Good Samaritans around after they've left so that we can yell at them for buying them breakfast.

If all of these things aren't company policies and are decisions left up to individual franchisees, then the company needs to step up and start either legislating common sense or doing background checks on people who are buying in to ensure that they have at best a shred of compassion for their fellow man or are at the very least smart enough not to advertise the fact that they don't.

Arrested Tuesday for calling 911 15 times in the same night because he couldn't get a cab quickly enough is
Kevin Lewis Waits.

Bonus: The theft of service charge he's facing probably stems from his not having enough money to pay the taxi that had come for him by the time the cops arrived.

We have an update on the wizard supply teacher, this one even more disconcerting than the first story, but for different reasons.

The first story said Jim Piculas was fired for wizardry. Now this story claims there's more, and I can understand some of it being somewhat more serious. I'm still not sure if immediate termination was necessary, but maybe if I saw the details of the stuff he supposedly did, I'd tell him to not let the door hit him on the ass on his way out. They mentioned not following the lesson plans. Whatever. I had lots of supply teachers just let us do our homework, or they brought in stuff of their own. But it depends what he was substituting for lesson plans, I guess. The report then mentioned letting a student be in charge of the class, which he said didn't happen, but that's all hearsay for now. Finally, the most serious was use of profane language and failing to control the class. I understand the profanity being bad, but the failing to control the class is still ambiguous to me, because I can't count the number of times our class completely terrorized supply teachers and were nothing but a pile of brats, especially when we were the age of these kids. Our class made a teacher quit teaching, for crying out loud! But I remember seeing supply teachers who had 0 pull in the classroom come back afterward. If all of the teachers who couldn't control us were terminated, the board would have to hire a rash of new teachers. But it depends how out of control we're talking. If this is all true, then it sucks that everyone seized on the wizardry, and the news folk didn't try to dig a little deeper. But it gets far worse than shitty research, and none of the players manage to redeem themselves.

First off, let's pick on Jim Piculas himself. He went to the media and overemphasized the wizardry claim to get attention. Then he was shocked, appalled, and horrified that people jumped all over it, gave him the attention he was looking for, and contacted the schoolboard about his case. Hey numbnut, what did you think would happen? Did you think people would do nothing? Sure, some would, but when you're trying to provoke rage and anger, don't you know that that's what some people will do? You look like an ass.

Now, let's slap Joe Public around for a while, because he is an idiot. Some people, after reading various incarnations of the story, decided to take action. They let their fingers do the walking through the yellow pages, and found various school officials, including board of education member Marge Whaley. But did they leave a well-thought-out message expressing their displeasure? Nope! That would require too much effort! Instead, they called her a fucking idiot, and an incompetent turd on her voicemail. Ok, Joe Public, let her earn incompetent turd status before slapping her with it, because I find that insult to be funny as hell. People need to realize that yelling explitives and not well-reasoned diatribes at officials doesn't usually end well and you probably won't get heard properly. What good is having a one-sided conversation anyway, aside from the fact that you feel better after leaving a pile of steaming vitriol on someone's voicemail? It certainly won't reinstate Jim Piculas.

But wait, the multidirectional stupid stick is heading over to give Marge Whaley a sound thumping, because she deserves it. She said, and I quote, "It really made me stop and think, because I go to the Internet for information, say, to look at information on medication I'm taking. Now I'll be more careful. You really can't count on every Web site … because you're likely to get information that isn't true."

Uh, duh! And you're responsible for the teaching of children. What was one of the first things I was told when being introduced to the internet? You have to weigh the source because anyone can post anything. There are no research standards, and no publishing body that screens stuff. If you really need information, look for credible websites that you know are affiliated with real live well-established companies or bodies. Or, cross-reference the hell out of what you're looking for. Don't just believe everything you read. I know this woman is from a different generation, one that didn't even get the internet when they were teenagers, but come on! This shouldn't be a revelation to anyone anymore.

They mention in the story that people google out people's names to see what the internet has to say about them. Let's do what we can do to move this one to the top of google. Jim Piculas Jim Piculas Jim Piculas Jim Piculas Jim Piculas Jim Piculas! Ah, that's good. And,for good measure, Marge Whaley Marge Whaley Marge Whaley Marge Whaley Marge Whaley Marge Whaley.

I still think there's more to the story, and I'm sure it's only bound to get weirder. Hopefully we'll see more of this as the ride continues.

Since we've somehow gotten into the habit of following things like this, it's time for another exciting (yes I used that word intentionally) instalment of Stuff People Hump.

This time the perpetrator is 18-year-old Callum Ainsworth of Kilwinning in the UK, and his victim is
a car.

Callum Ainsworth, 18, is accused of running along a street naked, bending over the vehicle and simulating sexual intercourse.

The alleged offence is said to have happened near Ainsworth's home in Crannog Way, Kilwinning in February.

Ainsworth denied public indecency at Kilmarnock Sherriff Court and faces trial in August.

I'm not the kind of person you'd normally find defending somebody who had sex with a 13-year-old girl, but you know what they say about every rule having an exception. And if there was ever a time for an exception to be made, I think this is it.

Morris Williams, 22, has been
sentenced
to 5 years in prison and 6 years probation for having relations with 13-year-old Alisha Dean after meeting her on MySpace. Williams says he thought that she was 18, a fairly common excuse for this sort of thing and normally not a very believable one. The difference here is that the girl has already been involved in a similar case that sent another man (24-year-old Marlon Mills) to prison, also for 5 years.

the girl's father, Jerry Dean, seemed happy with the sentence.

"One of the reasons for the law is the fact that minors have poor judgment," he told the media.

Minors and bad parents it would seem.

You'd think that after the first case the MySpace would have come down and her parents with help from the authorities if necessary would be trying to help her turn her life around, but as the article points out, "Dean's family admits Alisha still stays out late and has yet to delete her misleading MySpace page."

I can't help but think that the wrong people are being dragged through the court system here, and I can't help but think that sooner or later it's going to happen again. And when it does, I can't help but think that these shithead parents and their shithead kid will face no consequences whatsoever. Yes minors have bad judgment, but at some point somebody has to take some responsibility for it. In a perfect world, the next person to be sitting in prison beside Williams and Mills would have the last name Dean and would be related to a little brat who has ruined 2 lives in a very short time. Maybe then she'd come home early and stay off the damn internet.

I've always wondered if it's possible to figure out what Trix is thinking. Now, apparently there is something that can analyze barks. Israeli prisons are using it to interpret their guard dogs' barks. But what I find more disturbing than the fact that they've invested all this money in technology that analyzes sample barks which are coded by humans, so the technology is only as good as the human interpreters, is that they let their dogs run around free and unaccompanied. How is this safe for man or beast? Any good trained dog can make a mistake, and with the training these dogs receive, that mistake could be deadly. And, if a prisoner decided to hurt the dog, and succeeded, who's there to defend the dog? I know they can be pretty vicious, but so can humans.

This whole thing is just strange, and like in the case of the caller sincerity analyzer, I wonder how effective it really is. Some things just can't be automated. But I guess only time will tell.

Michael Myers might want to consider working on the art of picking up chicks a little more.

The 32-year-old Kentucky man is facing a felony charge of impersonating a police officer after an incident early Saturday morning during which he attempted to get a woman into his car, threatening her with jail if she didn't comply.

The attempt was broken up by some suspicious firefighters who questioned Myers, then detained him and called police when his story didn't seem to add up.

Now for the best part.

In his car, they even found a very official looking fake badge that says Louisville police on it.  Myers’ badge identified him as an “official boob inspector” from the department of titillations.

Even though it may have been intended as a joke, police say it looked real at first glance. And they believe Myers’ intentions were no laughing matter.

You can read the full article
here,
and post wacky prison related pick-up lines below should the mood strike you.

Why do we need to play videogames using our pee? Well, it's more about aiming the pee, but good god. And even worse, you're playing it with a fellow pisser. Oh my my my.

I'm completely conflicted about this story. Steven Barber was in a creative writing course at Wise College. He was asked to write a short story. He did, and it was full of talk of suicide and murder, with some Virginia Tech references sprinkled in there. Oh, and the dude who got murdered in his story had a name that was eerily similar to that of the professor. Not very smart, Steven, not very smart at all.

This raised an alarm, and they searched his room and found three guns, he was committed to the psych ward for the weekend, and he was expelled.

Ok, I understand the raising of alarms. I think that's completely normal. But can we start with sitting him down and having a talk? I can even understand committing him to a psych ward because the name was so similar, and especially after they found the weapons in his room, even though he says he has a permit to carry concealed weapons...but did he need 3? Two of them semiautomatic? Without the guns and the professor's name similarity, I wouldn't have even agreed with them about the psych ward.

Where I get weirded out is the part about expulsion from the school. They can say all they want that they're protecting the rest of the students by kicking him out, but unless they bar him from living in or visiting the city, he could still come back to campus and shoot people. I don't see how expelling him is helping anybody, and I totally see how it's hurting freedom of speech. Ever since Virginia Tech, there have been cases where students have said something that was politically unpopular, and they have been treated as a clear and present danger on mental health grounds.

Add to that the fact that there has been this desire to scrutinize everyone's blogs and facebook pages for signs of people coming unglued. I know the pages are up there for all to see, but the idea of a committee in place whose sole purpose is to be internet Big Brother gives me the creeps.

I know people are trying to learn from Virginia Tech. But spotting trouble isn't as easy as reading one piece of writing. It has to be over time, and it has to show up in lots of ways, not just in writing. And people have to realize that if enough people get punished for publishing such things, they won't write things like that anymore, and someone who might have broadcast signs of trouble before just won't give us any warning. Now,is that any better?

We have to strike a balance somehow, or free speech will be a thing of the past, even more so than it already is.

On the other hand, if he were the teacher, none of this would have happened.

I'm sure most of you reading these words already know this, but for the benefit of everybody else, here's a helpful tip from your friends at Vomit Comet World HQ.

If your plan is to get drunk with some friends and then take a stolen canoe out for a joyride, it's a good idea to make sure you can swim, just in case the thing happens to
capsize before the fun is over.

It's too late for this reminder to help young Christopher Mayo, but maybe I can save those of you who might consider copying him. Then again, if you're at all considering that, forget everything I just said. Have fun, knock yourself out, we'll take care of the world while you're gone.

How this woman's children have lived to be 16 and 21 and how she made it all the way to 43 are a complete mystery to me, but it's another example of my long held belief that
you can't kill the truly stupid.

Woman Hurt Stepping Out of Moving Car

According to the Saline County Sheriff's Office, 43-year-old Lori Baxter hit her head on the ground as she was exiting a car that was travelling at about ten miles-per-hour.

The incident happened in the 4800 Block of Smolan Road at around 5:45 Saturday night. Baxter's 16-year-old daughter was driving, and a 21-year-old daughter was also in the car. She was apparently trying to prove to them that the car was not moving too quickly to exit.

Baxter was transported to Salina Regional Health Center with a head injury, and then transferred to a Wichita hospital.

I wonder how they could tell the difference between the new head injury and the one that caused her to do something like that?

A little while ago, I talked about hybrid cars and their dangers. Now, there's apparently a bill going through the house of representatives that if passed, would legislate that all hybrid cars make a minimal amount of noise. Apparently sighted joggers, bikers, etc. are getting ker smucked by them too because they expect to hear noise from a car coming up behind them, don't, and crash! Here is the text I was sent. It was sent by a representative of the NFB. I know I can't do anything, but any American readers can feel free to urge their representative to cosponsor this bill if they are so inclined.

Fellow federationists:

I wanted to let you know the latest on our Quiet Cars legislation, HR 5734. We currently have thirty Members of the House of Representatives listed as cosponsors, and Congressmen Towns and Stearns have sent a letter to Congressman John Dingell, Chair of the Committee on Energy and Commerce, asking for hearings on this bill.

We must increase our cosponsor support on this legislation to show Chairman Dingell that this issue is important to members of the House. The Members of Congress will be leaving for the Memorial Day recess on Friday May 23rd. I would like us to have fifty cosponsors before the recess starts, so I am urging you to call your member of Congress and ask him or her to join as a cosponsor of HR 5734. You can be connected to your member of Congress by calling the capitol switchboard at (202) 225-3121.

I have included a news article and a link below, which shows exactly why this legislation is needed. Thankfully there were no serious injuries in this case. I have also included a list of the thirty cosponsors on the bill. Thank you all in advance for your work on this important matter.

Please contact me with any questions you may have.

Sincerely,
Jesse M. Hartle
Government Programs Specialist
NATIONAL FEDERATION OF THE BLIND
Telephone: (410) 659-9314, extension 2233
E-mail: jhartle@nfb.org
JMH/wmb

Link to news story below
- Where you will also find a video.

Boy hit by hybrid car; mom says he didn't hear it coming

It was something that had never occurred to Jane Flannigan, until she got the call Sunday that her eight-year-old son had been hit by a car while biking with a friend.

Owen Erickson was not badly hurt, though he did end up on the hood of the car. But when the car's driver moved his Toyota Prius from the street to the curb, Flannigan noticed something. "I saw the car, but I could not hear anything," she recalled about the hybrid vehicle which was operating on battery power at the time. "It is totally silent."

That's when it dawned on Flannigan, Owen never heard the Prius before he cut in front of it. "Bikers, runners, anybody out on the street, I think it's a huge safety issue," she said.

She's not the only one. Last month legislation was introduced in the U.S. House of Representatives that could eventually require hybrids to emit a minimum amount of noise.

It's a priority piece of legislation for the National Federation of the Blind, which believes Hybrids pose a real threat to those who rely on noise from cars to keep themselves safe.

"These quiet cars that are very difficult to hear in the normal flow of everyday outdoor activity play a safety hazard," says Jennifer Dunnam, president of the NFB's Minnesota affiliate. "Blind people depend on their hearing to know what the traffic is doing."

Toyota has not taken a position on the legislation, but is aware of the concerns behind it. "We do have to step back and take a look," said John Hanson, Toyota's national manager of environmental, safety and quality communications. The Prius ranks third among Toyota models in sales, behind Camry and Corolla, according to Hanson.

Flannigan doesn't blame the driver of the Prius for running into her son, since Owen biked out in front of his car but she does cut her son some slack. "We're conditioned to hear car noises," she says. "This is a big safety issue."

****
Cosponsors of HR 5734:
AK Congressman Young-R
AR Congressman Boozman-R
AZ Congressman Grijalva-D
CA Congressman Filner-D, Congresswoman Linda Sanchez-D
FL Congresswoman Brown-D, Congressman Stearns-R Original Sponsor), Congresswoman Wasserman Schultz-D
GA Congressman Bishop-D, Congressman Lewis-D
GU Congresswoman Bordallo-D
IL Congresswoman Schakowsky-D
MA Congressman McGovern-D
MD Congressman Wynn-D
MN Congressman Ellison-D, Congresswoman McCollum-D, Congressman Walz-D
MS Congressman Taylor-D
NC Congressman Butterfield-D, Congressman Price-D
NM Congressman Pearce-R
NY Congresswoman Maloney-D, Congressman Rangel-D, Congressman Towns-D (Lead Sponsor)
OR Congressman Blumenauer-D
PA Congressman Robert Brady-D
PR Congressman Fortuno-R
VA Congressman Goode-R
VT Congressman Welch-D
WA Congressman McDermott-D
WY Congresswoman Cubin-R

So there you go. If you don't see your representative on there and you would like to, you know what to do! I really really really hope this goes through. It could save quite a few people, blind and sighted alike.

I'm having one of those there has to be more to the story moments here.

By all accounts, Matthew Evans was a pretty bright kid. Good grades, involved in lots of different activities, well liked by those around him. So it makes no sense that the following line would appear in an
article
about him.

Evans died Wednesday at a St. Louis hospital after sustaining massive head trauma Tuesday night. Police said he "belly-flopped" onto the hood of his best friend's passing car, flying head-first onto the pavement after the driver slammed on the brakes.

That wouldn't be nearly as odd if the words suicide attempt or ones similar to them appeared in the article, but they don't. There's not even any mention of an ongoing investigation. It's just what a nice guy, this is how he would have wanted things, and oh by the way he died in a completely ridiculous fashion.

If somebody could help me out by doing the media's job for them I would love that person forever, because I'm really confused right now.

For some reason, one sentence in
this little news story
has been driving me nuts since Sunday. Why no, I do not have a life, why do you ask?

Anyway, read this and see if anything strikes you as odd.

The cyclist was ejected from the bike and suffered injuries to his lower left leg, scrapes and bruises.

There are 2 things wrong with this, 3 if you count the horrible grammar displayed by people who are paid to know better.

1. It's sad that the poor lad's scrapes and bruises were injured in the accident. Where exactly are the scrapes and bruises located on a human body anyway, I can't seem to find mine.

2. Maybe I'm wrong or making a big deal out of nothing, but how can you be ejected from something that you weren't inside of? I've heard of being ejected from a car or a bus or what have you, but never from a bike. To me it's like saying that you were ejected from the roof rather than that you fell from it while doing repairs. and how many suicides have you heard of being caused by ejecting oneself from a bridge? Are the terms thrown from and ejected interchangeable now? I've seen thrown from used in place of ejected as in "he was thrown from the vehicle," but never the other way around as in the example above, and for some reason it looks really weird.

Feel free to tell me to go outside now.

I haven't posted a really stupid joke in a while and this one just hit my email so I think it's time to fix that.

A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a stumpy little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door.

The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave. "Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the stumpy little man.

"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack. "Take your axe and go cut it down."

The little man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door.

"I cut the tree down," said the man. The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"

"In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.

"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.

The little man laughed and answered back,

"Oh sure, that's what they call it now!"

Bonnie Ashley says she wasn't dumb, she was desperate when she got married 11 times, each ending in divorce, and the last three marriages/divorces were with the same man. But I can't help but disagree with her. Let's look at a few choice quotes from the desperate woman herself.

"I was desperate, not dumb," Ashley says. "I was taught that a man took care of you. So each time I didn't have one, I heard, 'Old Maid!' "That's what my dad called any single woman over 25."

And that's not dumb? How about

She'll never marry again, she says. "I'll sleep around, but that's all."

Or

"Here's why women should read my book," she says. "So they understand what can happen if you marry someone you really don't know." It's a lesson she recently learned.

I've got news for ya. The smarter of us already learned this lesson long ago. And the not so smart won't learn from reading your book, if they read it.

I haven't hit the bottom of the stupidity barrel. There's

Even after the 11 marriages and divorces, she asked this last guy (the one she kicked out of the house two weeks ago) to ask her to marry him. She did this only a few weeks after they met. He refused. With your track record, he told her, I'd have to know you for a long time. "It was such a rude awakening," she says. He moved in for a while, moved out, then came back until she finally kicked him out. "Someone had to force me to learn how not to want to get married," she says.

Ya don't say! And here's the final pearl of...what? Idiocy? Yeah.

"The only difference now is I don't want to be married just to be married," she says. "I need to get to know you first."

Well I should hope so. Welcome aboard the train of logic. You're only 32 years too late.

You can tell the reporter doesn't think too much of her, or is completely aghast at the jaw-dropping stupidity before him. I know I am. It's pretty spectacular when someone is so stupid that she doesn't even know she's stupid and wants to write a book revealing detailed accounts of her stupidity. But maybe she'll end up just like William Topaz McGonagall and people will love her to death.

Remember how I said I was going to buy Rescue Remedy? Well, I did. They had spray and drops. I almost bought the drops, but then they weren't sure if I could tell how many drops I had in the dropper. Neither was I, so I wasn't sure if I'd end up wasting more than I needed per squeeze. Maybe I should have got the drops. She does let me spray it in her mouth, which is pretty cool. They said to give two sprays each time I give it, so that's what I do.

I already had an occasion to try it, and it sort of worked! She was still shaking and panting some, but she would at least listen to me, and she let me rub her belly, which was miles ahead of what she would do before. She wasn't trying to seek shelter under things or magnetize herself to Steve. Maybe with a few more uses, it might get even better.

I'm still probably going to find some kind of fireworks/thunder storm sounds CD and see if I can try desensitizing her too, but this might do good things after all! Yea Rescue Remedy!

Woops. It's never good when you're a personal injury lawyer, your specialty is helping people with lawsuits to do with being hurt in car accidents, andyou cause one by not yielding to a fire-engine, and you're the worst hurt. Hopefully Brian Loncar doesn't try to sue himself, since he appears to be the negligent one. How funny, he has the word car in his name.

I guess Ronald D. Wittenberg will never know because he was trying to scratch it off while walking down train tracks and...scratch scratch scratch...he never heard the horn blowing...scratch scratch scratch...from the train...scratch scratch scratch...as it blew for 45 seconds straight...scratch scratch scratch...as it came up from behind him...scratch scratch scratch...and got him!

They never mention whether the ticket was a winner. All we know is he doesn't get to play again.

Here's a quick note to girls everywhere. Don't date Lance R. Stelzer. If you do, and then things go bad, he may sue you. If that's not bad enough, in the discovery phase, he may ask for things like:

• "Each and every page of your 'journal' which mentions, references, or contains name Lance R. Stelzer."
• "Copies of all photographs ... which portray you dressed (fully or partially) in red negligee."
• "The full name and current address of your mother, sister, and new boyfriend's mother."
• and erotic photographs and emails.

Is that even legal? I hope to hell not. It sucks that she left him when he was sick, but this guy sounds like a huge stalker!

So, the moral of the story of William Topaz McGonagall is even if you suck heartily, and people throw rotten fruit at you as you recite your horrid poetry, keep going in your suckalicious fashion, because when you die, people will love you for your complete lack of self-doubt in the face of tons of proof of your sucktitude. We're an odd bunch, us humans, aren't we? Now that he's dead, everyone's fighting over where he's from, and they have memorials to him.

I have no more words, but I can't stop chuckling.

Since we're heading out for some May long weekend food and drinks, I got thinking about two food commercials I've heard recently that make me want to hurl!

The first was Subway raving about their new pizzas. Mmm! Pizza! They tell you it's topped right in front of me! Mmm! With whatever I want. Mmm! And ready in 90 seconds! Blech!

How can they say eat fresh after that? Maybe I misunderstand something, but that sounds like a nuked pizza to me. Has anyone tried one? Are they good? I'm curious.

The second commercial was for a Tim Hortons Brownie Ice-Cap supreme. I would think mmm, except I know how much the other Ice-Cap supremes already tend to have stuff settling to the bottom. Now imagine brown chunks settling to the bottom of your drink. Mmm. Slurp it up, baby. Then part of me wants to try one, insisting that it's brownies after all, at which time another part of me slaps that part and calls it a fool. Oh boy, do I have multiple personalities?

Ok, I've got to stop thinking about bad food so I can eat some good stuff! Hope everyone's having a good weekend, even though the weather took a crap.