JustEat Is Just Neat

Oh my god I'm writing a blog post before I go to work. Hey, maybe this is a good sign that I'm getting into the swing of things and will be able to post more often.

This is another one I've been meaning to write for a while. A long time ago, I was on the phone with our buddy Anton. He mentioned a service called JustEat.ca and said he thought it served Guelph. What it is is a site where you can order from any of the restaurants in your area who have agreed to be part of it. You put your order through this website, they forward it on to the restaurant, the restaurant sends out the food to your door.

The really cool part about this for me is a lot of restaurants don't put their menus in an accessible format. So if I decide to order from them, I have to know what I want already, and then just call them and order it. So I never learn about new stuff they have, or different stuff I haven't already found. But with this site, the menu is accessible, right down to picking toppings on a pizza! So, I can read about everything, and take my sweet time picking, without feeling like I'm bothering the dude on the phone from the place.

We've ordered a few times from them, and every time, the deliveries have been wicked fast. In every single case, they have beaten their estimated arrival time, and by a long shot.

And, if you do run into trouble on their website, they have a hotline you can call, 877 338 0568. They've always been helpful when I had trouble with their coupon codes not working.

That's another thing. They send out coupon codes for different reasons, and plug specials from the restaurants whose menus they have.

My only criticism, which really isn't anything they can help, is the restaurants in our area are heavy on the pizza. Out of the 9 restaurants available from our postal code, 5 of them are pizza, and one of them that isn't pizza has weird hours. It would be awesome if other stuff like chicken, or other local restaurants that do delivery would get on board, but I realize they have to want to before they will.

Over all, I definitely like JustEat.ca. See if they serve your area, and what they've got.

They Couldn't See The Trees For The...Trees

The region that brought you fools lost in a corn maze is proud to present it's next great production, fools lost in an apple orchard.

Andrew Martin, who owns the orchard at 144 Sudbury Road with his sister, Julie Martin-Sullivan, said it was getting dark out when the couple wandered across the orchard.

“They just started wandering while picking apples. They ended up in an obscure part of the orchard,” he said. “They called the police, but we found them. They were about three-quarters of a mile from where they started.”

Below is the text from the log:

“Caller reporting himself and his wife are lost in the orchard and can't find there way out. Described area as a large field with picnic tables, volleyball net, and red shack that has sign on it with "School Group Check in." S7 and S10 responding. Owner of orchard notified and responding. Couple located.”

Beware Of JesusWeen

Sometimes it may not seem so, but we really are a helpful lot of good-hearted people around here. And if there's one thing that makes our good hearts sad, it's nice people trying to have a good time having that good time ruined by the crappy, fun-sucking agendas of others. We may not be able to do much to stop it in this particular case, but at least we can use this platform of ours to warn you so that you're aware of what you might be up against today.

If you're taking the kids out trick-or-treating tonight or letting them go on their own, be on the lookout for preachy asshats possibly dressed in white handing out bibles and postcards who will try to convert you and your family to their way of life. Because clearly, nothing makes people more receptive to your message than ambushing them and forcing it on them like an in person telemarketer.

It's called JesusWeen, and there's apparently no way of knowing when you're about to run smack into it which I guess is the point, but still.

A movement founded by a Calgary pastor is calling on Christians to forego the candy and costumes of Halloween and instead hand out Bibles to trick-or-treaters.

It's called "JesusWeen" and hundreds of churches across Canada and the U.S. are expected to take part in the event described on jesusween.com as a Christian gift-giving festival. 

"JesusWeen is a non profit organization also known as JesusWin. We are focused on helping people live better lives," the website says.

In addition to handing out Bibles, Christian post cards or tracts instead of treats, participants are encouraged to wear white as a symbol of purity. 

The event was founded by Calgary pastor Paul Ade in 2002 and has the ambitious expectation of becoming "the most effective Christian outreach day ever and that's why we also call it 'World Evangelism Day,'" the website states.

"This year we're thinking it will be 400 churches all across Canada," John Johnson, a spokesperson for the movement reached in Maryland, told CTVNews.ca.

In addition, he said at least 1,000 churches are expected to participate in the U.S. along with a handful in the U.K.

This year JesusWeen is focusing on the Canadian cities of Toronto, Calgary, and Edmonton, as well as the state of Maryland and the cities of Houston and Dallas in the U.S., and London in the U.K.

Yes, it was founded in Canada. I apologize on behalf of my country, world.

And I offer this next bit not because I condone or endorse it in any way, but as a warning since i'm nothing if not fair. If any of you JesusWeen people happen to stumble onto this page during a futile search for positive press or during an I need to find something to get angry about today session, I hope you like vandalism. Seriously. My guess is you like it about as much as the rest of us like strangers indoctrinating our children.

If you don't like Haloween, that's fine. You don't have to take part. Turn your lights off so nobody comes to your door. It's simple. You do what you like and leave the rest of us to our silly little costume party. You know, live and let live. If people want to become Christians, they will. We all know you exist, and we'll find you if we need you. And if we don't want to become Christians, we'll do the decent thing and leave you to it. Why? Because it's your thing and we don't want to ruin it for you. Crazy concept, I know.

Hmmm...Maybe It's Time To Change A Password Or Two.

I received this a couple of weeks ago, and keep meaning to put it up, but keep forgetting.

Remember back when I was talking about the mugged in London scam? Well, here's a detailed account of what could happen to you if you get hacked. It's pretty scary. Not only could your friends start sending money to some douchebag hacker, but said douchebag hacker could delete *all* your emails that you have chosen to archive to the web in an attempt to cover his tracks. Yup, all that stuff that you kept in the cloud because it was sooo much less vulnerable to sudden failure? Gonegonegone.

Thankfully, that poor woman got all her stuff back, but oh my god what a mess.

Brailling Signs Is Cool To Do...Just Not In Song

Steve called it when he mused that the song I'm about to inflict upon you would enter the ranks of blinddollars.org.

You know, the sentiment is great, and it might get the point across. But ugga yugga bugga! Maybe I just can't stand corny.

But because having more Braille signs would rock my life, and so more people can laugh at this song, cruise on over and have a listen. It's in a flash movie, so have the mp3 if you don't do flash.

So listen, if you dare.

Weekend Audio: Lunchless Lunches, Shattered Bowls And Talking Beer Koozies

At longish last, audio is back!

This piece should have gone up last week, but due to the small matter of it not being recorded until right now, that didn't happen.

On this here 18.5 minute adventure into something or other, we touch on such topics as the good and bad of the #LunchUpGuelph event Carin went to today, why you should never, ever break anything made by Corelle and my talking Maple Leafs beer koozie with Joe Bowen's voice on it that was the main reason for recording this thing. Yes RO, you finally get to hear it. There's also a bit of Trixie, who plays some tug, runs around a bit and gets quite interested in the microphone.

If this sounds interesting or if you're the type to listen to stuff just because it's here, have at it.

And when you're done having at it, enjoy game 7 tonight. Even if you don't like baseball, you maybe should watch. Last night's game was one of the best games I've ever seen, the kind of game that makes fans out of people who never gave a damn about baseball before.

Amanda may hate me for this, but I'm going with the Cards. their run has been amazing and for some reason I'd kind of like to see them win. On second thought, Amanda may love me considering how well some of my previous baseball predictions have gone.

Whatever happens, I'll be watching and hoping for another fun one. Back and forths are great when you have no true cheering interest.

Spare The Rod...Yeah, Definitely Spare The Rod

The First United Methodist Church in Niceville, Florida, may want to reconsider what it calls it's "come as you are atmosphere" after a teenaged congregant was caught taking the come as you are part a bit too literally.

According to cops, four witnesses spotted the 14-year-old suspect pleasuring himself inside the sanctuary of the First United Methodist Church in Niceville. One member of the congregation told police that she observed the teen “with his penis outside of his pants and stroking it," a Niceville Police Department report states.

When questioned by police, the boy copped to exposing himself inside the church on August 28. He explained that he was "playing with it" for about 10 minutes because, “I was bored.” He also admitted masturbating during a service the previous Sunday.

the boy, who was not identified, was charged with misdemeanour indecent exposure and lewd and lascivious behavior.

Go Ahead And Ignore Our Law, Says The Law And Order Government

Boy, the conservatives sure are trying to make us all feel better about their awful copyright bill.

Since the introduction of Bill C-11 last month, the digital lock rules have emerged as the most contentious aspect of the bill with both the NDP and Liberals indicating they cannot support the legislation without changes to those provisions. While most of the Conservative responses have stuck to the talking point that they believe the bill is balanced, Conservative MP Lee Richardson, a member of the Standing Committee on Industry, recently provided a constituent with another reason for why the public should not be concerned by the digital lock rules. According to Richardson:

If a digital lock is broken for personal use, it is not realistic that the creator would choose to file a law suit against the consumer, due to legal fees and time involved.

In other words, Canadians should not be concerned by digital lock rules because they can simply break the lock without fear of being sued.

So let me get this straight. I'm not allowed to crack somebody's DRM by law, but I can because nobody will ever use that law to come after me? Whatever you say, chief.

First of all, I'll believe that when I see it. All kinds of people have done all kinds of things that aren't realistic, legal fees and time involved notwithstanding. Remember all those file sharing lawsuits based on flawed evidence that swept up innocent people, made criminals out of grandmas and grandpas who had no idea what Junior was doing on the computer and tried and sometimes did extort unreasonable settlements out of people who didn't understand their rights or have the money to fight back? What a dark chapter in the history of business and the internet that was. I sure am glad that's ove...never mind.

but more importantly, if we're not getting hauled into court so we shouldn't worry about the digital lock provisions, why do we need them in their current form? If what Richardson says is true, should they not be rewritten to reflect their new spirit? As the article linked above points out, there are people and organizations who for one reason or another have to go by the letter of the law rather than the do it and hope for the best method that's now seemingly being endorsed by the government. Why should I for reasons I've explained before or anybody else have to even think about these things before deciding if doing something completely reasonable is worth it? If this part of the bill wasn't broken, we wouldn't.

All that's needed are clear, fair rules about what's allowed and what isn't, but I guess that's too much to ask for. It would be nice if the governments we vote for in the hope that they'll take care of these things properly and in our best interests actually did, instead of bending over and happily taking a hard one from the entertainment industry.

Think Outside The Bomb

Police in Georgia are looking for a man who, if I may make the obvious comment here, clearly didn't get the memo.

After phoning in a complaint to an Albany Taco Bell about the lack of meat in the chalupas he had ordered and not getting the results he wanted, the fellow reportedly returned to the restaurant and chucked a molotov cocktail at the building.

According to a police report, Taco Bell manager Cynthia Thompson told cops that, shortly before the firebombing, a man called the restaurant to complain about a reported meat shortage in his “two XL Chalupas.” The caller told Thompson that “after getting home realized that there was not enough stuffing inside of his chalupas, and demanded his order be corrected.”

When Thompson explained that she “could not accommodate him because the business was closing,” the man replied, “You must be one of them niggers up there.” He added, “That’s alright, I’ll just come and redecorate the place.”

Thompson said that shortly after the call she and other Taco Bell employees “could smell gasoline but was unaware of where it was coming from. They then realized the fire outside of the drive thru window.” 

Investigators found the makeshift incendiary device--a “melting plastic bottle with a liquid substance still inside”--outside the Taco Bell, where a large sign beckons patrons to “Come Try The New XXL Chalupa. Bigger Is Better.”

Cops have had a tough time finding the guy due to the poor quality of the video from the security camera. Hmmm. Bad food, bad cameras...do I sense a pattern here?

As an aside, maybe it means something to the locals, but every time I turn the words North Slappey Boulevard over in my head I giggle a little.

I'm Not Cutout For This

Is there a better way to start your day than by reading a quick story about an intoxicated sex offender named Charlie J. Price making out with a cardboard cutout woman in a Rite Aid display? No, I say!

Saturday around 5 p.m., Price, who was allegedly intoxicated, walked into the Rite Aid pharmacy, "grabbed hold of the sunglass display, hugged it tightly and then began to lick and kiss the face of the female party on the display," according to a Pittsfield Police report.

This behavior lasted about a minute, according to police, and ended when Price fell to the floor. He eventually got back on his feet and began yelling and screaming, according to the police report. Meanwhile, Price's behavior apparently scared customers who "actively" tried to get away from the area.

Price plead guilty to a count of disturbing the peace and was ordered to pay a $200 fine.

Elections Ontario Accessible Voting Survey

Update: Blindies, you must take this survey either with NVDA or via phone. Part way through it becomes inaccessible if you're using JAWS. There's a place where you have to specify your knowledge level with various voting options...but there are no form fields I can see. At least it is more doable than I thought. You just have to put on ye old NVDA. But one question. Why put a graphical progress bar on a survey about accessibility?

Maybe I should have just waited before I tried to give Elections Ontario feedback. Apparently, now they have an online survey all about the accessible voting tools and stuff. Here's the scoop on it.

In the 2011 general election, Elections Ontario made it our mission to make voting easy and put voters first. We introduced new methods and features tohelp remove barriers for all eligible Ontarians.

In our efforts to improve our services, we are seeking feedback and views on the voting experience, particularly on new features such as accessibility tools at the voting locations, accessible voting locations and voting by Special Ballot.

I am writing to ask for your help in making the 2011 Elections Evaluation Survey available. We are partnering with Ipsos Reid, a leading global market research firm, to collect data that we will use to make future decisions.

This online survey should take about 20 minutes to complete. We hope to receive the responses by November 4th. All information provided will be kept STRICTLY confidential. Results will be reported in one combined summary so individual comments can not be identified.

I would greatly appreciate it if you can forward this information to voters with disabilities who can provide us with insights on their voting experience in the 2011 provincial general election. Any questions can be directed to Elizabeth Armstrong at Elections Ontario (Elizabeth.armstrong@elections.on.ca,
416 326 1757) or Michael Howell, Senior Research Manager, Ipsos Reid Michael.Howell@Ipsos.com,
416-572-4407).

To complete this online survey, participants should click on the following link: www.ipsosresearch.com/electionsontariosurvey.

Or they may call 1-888-999-9370 (TTY compatible). 

Thank you for your assistance in helping us improve voting in Ontario.

Sincerely,
Greg Essensa

So, maybe I was unfair to poor Elections Ontario. If you voted using any of their aids to make voting more accessible, please do give them feedback. It's good for all of us.

#Twittereen

When I was a kid, and we would go on scavenger hunts, I never really cared about them. I mean, it was fun to run around with my buddies and watch them scoop up clues, but I really wasn't helping out with the hunting down of stuff. I was just sort of along for the ride. But last week, I got to take part in an online scavenger hunt, and it was pretty fun!

The contest is called Twittereen, ya know, in honour of Halloween. Its aim is to get people to learn about some local businesses, follow them on Twitter, engage with them, and some random lucky winners will receive prizes like gift certificates to a bunch of the mentioned local businesses. But the prize I reeeally want is an iPod Touch. yes, yes, gimme gimme.

I have learned about a bunch of cool businesses, sadly a bunch of them aren't in Guelph. One thing I want to do some time is end up at the Indulge Ice Cream caboose in Cambridge for either ice cream or some waffles. Mmmm. I would have never heard of what sounds like the most awesome place ever if it weren't for Twittereen.

One thing I had driven home by this contest is why I don't often go straight to a company's website to learn a bunch about them. It's hit and miss whether a website will be designed with accessibility in mind. Just as an example, one website's homepage was completely composed of an inaccessible flash movie. Another blasted music louder than JAWS. Another had pictures containing some of the information.

But because I want that damn iPod Touch, I persevered and found everything I needed to. Now I wait to see if I get to be a lucky winner.

If you want to play too, here is a pdf of the rules, here's the online entry form, and here are some pictures of prizes. This is what the good fellows at Spike Mobile said were the prizes available.

1st Place is an Extreme Makeover for your car from @WendellMotors , 2nd Place is an 8GB iPod Touch from @spike_mobile. The other prizes are various gift cards from @GibsonSV @Bookshelfnews @SevenShores @Subworx @Waffle_Stacks.

Isn't that the coolest contest ever? Get involved in your community, learn about local businesses, and maybe just win something. Super neat! And it was a scavenger hunt I could play.

So, even though this is against my best interests since it decreases my chances of getting the iPod Touch, go play Twittereen. You have until 12:05 Saturday morning to track down all the clues. Happy hunting!

Steve And Carin On CFRU's Accessibility Matters

If you missed it live and would like to hear it, you can download this afternoon's episode of Accessibility Matters featuring Carin and I right here.

We were on with Jan and Susan for the whole hour talking about various things, but most of the time was spent on CFRU itself and the goal the folks there have of making the studios accessible for people with various types of disabilities.

I talked quite a bit about my time as an on air host and how difficult it can be to be the blind guy in a room full of what to me is unlabelled music and computers that don't talk. There was also talk of Carin's new job, Guelph Transit and the announcing of bus stops (always a favourite around here) and how much of a difference the attitudes of those around you can make in the life of a disabled person. A few other things got touched on as well, but those are the main points.

And before I forget, the line at the end where one of them says they hope I'll come back to the station and I respond with something like "you don't have me back yet" was meant to come off as be careful what you wish for, not as there's no friggin way I'll ever be back. Wanted to clear that up in case there was any doubt.

Enjoy the show, and please do donate if you can. CFRU does a great service to Guelph and beyond and honestly does need your support. If you feel like throwing them a few bucks, call 519-837-2378 or head over to CFRU.ca.

He Likes It In The Ass

I won't be at all surprised if this story is outed as a fake at some point, but since I've seen it in a few places now, here goes. If it is true, it is without question the greatest defense for doing anything that there has ever been and possibly will ever be.

Sunday Moyo, like many of us, seems to be a lonely, lonely man. And like a good number of lonely, lonely men, he has needs that aren't being met on the free market, if you catch my drift.

To hear him tell it, he did nothing more than slip $20 to a hooker in a club for some action and then something went mysteriously and horribly wrong in the dead of night. The authorities, however, well...they kinda sorta look at it as a dude going at it with a donkey tied to a tree.

Admitting the crime, Moyo told the court, "Your worship, I only came to know that I was being intimate with a donkey when I got arrested. I had hired a prostitute and paid US$20 for the service at Down Town night club, and I don't know how she then became a donkey."

Who knows, maybe somebody somewhere might believe that.

But he kept going.

He also claimed he was in love with the animal, telling the court, "I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with [the] donkey," The Herald newspaper reported.

Moyo, you won't be surprised to learn, is in custody and scheduled to be examined by a pair of government psychiatrists.

I wonder what they might turn into.

Steve and I on Accessibility Matters

Well, it looks like today's the day
for me to be on the radio again, only this time, Steve will be there too! So, I'm sure it'll be a lot more fun to listen to than those other shows. Like before, we have been invited on Accessibility Matters, which comes on Wednesdays at 1, and right now, the radio station is in the middle of its Raise Your Voice fund-raising campaign. Here's a press release about it.

PRESS RELEASE:

October 12,2011

CFRU 93.3fm, Guelph’s campus and community radio station, is an organization that is well known for promoting underrepresented voices that truly reflect the diversity of Guelph’s communities. Understanding that silence serves no one, CFRU strives to uphold a philosophy of inclusivity in order to provide an alternative source of media, music programming, and local social justice and documentary work.

Each October, CFRU launches an annual fundraising campaign called, “Raise Your Voice” (RYV). This year, Raise Your Voice will take place between October 22nd and October 30th,  on-air, on the University of Guelph campus, and at various locations in downtown Guelph. In keeping with our commitment to foster an environment that welcomes diversity, we will be devoting a large portion of this year’s fundraising efforts toward increasing accessibility within the radio station. Our goal is to purchase assistive technology and interior aids in order to better enable programmers and volunteers with disabilities to participate in the many activities we offer at CFRU.

In order to accomplish this year’s fundraising goal, we are partnering with the Canadian Disability Resource Council (CDRC), a registered charitable organization. As our administrative fundraising partner, the CDRC will be providing all donors who pledge funds in the amount of $25.00 and above a registered charitable tax receipt which can be applied as a tax credit when filing business or personal income tax.

Last year, we raised money to design and launch a new website at www.cfru.ca. The new site will launch on October 20th, 2011. Online donations through our website for this year’s funding drive will be possible. We hope that you will agree that reducing barriers and increasing accessibility at CFRU is an important initiative and will encourage community members to donate  both to our station and to this cause.

For further information, please contact:
Peter Bradley, Station Manager, CFRU, 519-824-4120 ext. 56920,
info@cfru.ca

So, if you're in Guelph, tune in to CFRU 93.3 fm this afternoon at 1, or if you're beyond the reach of their "250 watts of community power," chuck on over to their site and fire up a stream.

As Much As These Guys Get Hurt, They Really Should Think About A Permanent Vacation

Ever since that time a couple of years ago when everybody in Aerosmith got injured in different ways at almost the same time and caused me to not be able to take mom to the concert, I've felt the need to make a note whenever I hear about one of them getting hurt.

So...Steven Tyler fell again. The band was set to play its first ever concert in Paraguay on Tuesday, but he fell on his face in his hotel bathroom and broke a couple of teeth. I wonder if Love In An Elevator was playing in the background at the time. Odds are pretty good, since he's had bad luck with that song in the past.

Tyler has already had his teeth fixed and spent yesterday recovering. the show is supposed to go on tonight, but I'll believe that when it happens.

If Nothing Else, This Will Prepare Him For A Future Full Of Being Locked Inside Small Spaces

If Brent Jameson Morgan has a day job, let's hope he holds onto it rather than trying to make a living out of his apparent car theft hobby.

RCMP Cpl. Craig Douglass said Monday that Morgan allegedly jumped into the idling Corvette just as the owner was putting away a charger used to revive the sports car's dead battery.

The owner watched in disbelief as the suspect rolled up the power windows, locked the power doors and promptly stalled the vehicle.

"Unfortunately for the (suspect), he was not good with a standard transmission and stalled the Corvette when he attempted to reverse out of the driveway," Douglass said.

The shocked owner wasn't able to take any action because the man in his car was brandishing bear spray, Douglass said.

With not enough juice in the battery to restart the car, the suspect was trapped inside the Corvette after failing to break the window with the victim's anti-theft steering wheel lock and an axe in his backpack.

Morgan finally managed to break the window with a screw driver and was trying to make his escape as police were arriving.

Why, you ask, was he going to all this effort to bust out a window? Well, because he's an idiot, you see.

Fancy as the nice Corvette may be, it, like most other cars, comes equipped with manual door locks. It does this so that if oh, I dunno, the battery dies, you can still get out.

Morgan was arrested and charged with theft, mischief, possession of break-in instruments and possession of a weapon for a dangerous purpose. Police also removed his bicycle from the scene. Yes, he brought a bike to a car theft. Maybe he figured it wasn't so much a theft as it was trading up, who knows?

Pretty Pointless Post

Short, mostly pointless post about stuff many of you may or may not care about on the way because we sometimes do that kind of thing here.

First and foremost, first place is mine! Yes, with only 2 shows left to go, I've finally taken over sole possession of the top spot in the WWE pay-per-view pick 'em contest! It's only a 2 point lead so I don't feel very safe, but if I can keep on this nice hot streak I've been on, In just 2 short months I could find myself walking away with fabulous prizes!

I asked last week about how long it would take to give a giant metal balcony wall a makeover. Well, I have my answer now. Seems it takes right around two weeks. They took it just after Thanksgiving, and today they've been running around the building giving them back. Next on the list may be trying to get a new sliding screen door out of them since ours doesn't fit in the track right anymore and is kind of a piece of crap.

I may have asked this question before, but just in case I haven't, why does Rogers feel the need to charge you long distance to check your own cellphone voicemail from outside the city you live in? The phone the messages are meant for is right in my hand, and I don't even have to manually dial a number to get to them. Plus the last time I checked the number it automagically calls is in Toronto which is long distance from Guelph in every circumstance other than checking messages, so what makes being outside of Guelph and needing to pick up messages so different? Shouldn't long distance be long distance, and shouldn't calling voicemail be free from anywhere since I'm already paying a fee just to have it? They can obviously turn long distance on and off, so why can't they do us that one nice little good deed?

Carin and I are going to see Steven Page in a couple of weeks at River Run. I'm surprised we were able to get tickets at all at this point, let alone seats in a box so that Trix would have enough room to hang out without getting trampled. If you're in the area and wanting to go, it sounds like there are still quite a few seats available, so your odds are good.

I still have no ideas beyond the couple I said I had last week for Christmas presents, but I think I'm going to try to take care of at least one of those this week so I can say I started my shopping in October. Not sure why I like to say that, but I get a little upset with myself if I can't. I'll probably buy the first of who knows how many things for Carin, a fact I'm mentioning here simply for purposes of tormenting her.

That's all for the time being. I'll be back when I find something cool or stupid, or if I just feel like wasting a bit of your time like I've just finished doing.

Figuring Each Other Out Is An Achievement

I should probably write this before I do anything else, since it kind of needs to be done by tonight if I want it to make it into the fifth assistance dog blog carnival. Yup, it's time again. Geesh, I feel like I just wrote for July's. Come to think of it, I kinda need to visit all the posts in that one. I fail.

So, the subject of this carnival is achievement. That should be an easy one. I mean, we're always trying to achieve something. But I had a hard time coming up with something to put into words.

Then I was out walking with Trix, and she indicated the entrance to a building we go to a lot. Then she showed me that she could really use a chance to relieve. I got thinking of all the little signals we send and receive, and about how the communication between a guide dog team is a real achievement. It's amazing that we get so far at all.

When new teams start off, we only have a basic understanding of what each of us is trying to say. The handler says "I want to go left, I want to go right, don't sniff that pole." The dog says "You can't go left, you might want to stick your foot out, I'm excited about something but you can't figure out what." Then, with practice, both of you understand each other and it's a little spooky. You know the difference between a purposeful sped up walk and an excited one, and you even start to figure out which kind of excited it is. I'm sure it looks like mind-reading sometimes.

I'm still amazed when I think about the first time Trix showed me she had figured out that she couldn't give me visual cues to tell me what she wanted. So, for example, if she needed to go pee, she would have to tap me, then walk to the door. I didn't teach her anything about that. She just figured it out all by herself.

Or there was the time that I realized Trixie knew the shortcut I was afraid to take from our apartment building to the road, so let her take it to see what happened. It was amazing to achieve that level of trust, to the point where I only had a rough idea of the path we should take, and let her make her own way.

Then there were the times she figured out ways to tell me things that weren't so clear, like the time she told me it was too windy and dangerous to walk all the way to the drug store, but she'd walk to this closer corner store, or the time she told me which way was home by walking slow in one direction and fast in the other. How cool is that?

Every time it's confirmed that I got the message she was trying to tell me, I think about just how far we've come from those days where I was taking guesses at everything she was trying to say.

Here's an excerpt of an old post I wrote almost 3 years ago, talking about the amazing things you can achieve with practice and perceptiveness. Holy crap, has it been that long?

Trix never stopped amazing me all day. We went to the mall. We had to navigate a solid crowd of what I call Christmas zombies. All they're thinking about is "next stop...what else do I need to get...must...find...shirt." they'll bowl you over as they think about what they need to still buy. They were everywhere. There were little ones, older folks with walkers, people running every which way. I think I bumped one handbag the whole time. When people were directing me, they were saying they were having trouble manoeuvring. I wasn't having much trouble at all, and the whole time, Trixie's tail was wagging, wagging, wagging. You go girl.

Next I went to the food court while I was getting one of my santa prints converted to a 5X7 and got some fries and a drink, but the silly folk who were helping me get to the table never got me a straw! So I got up, listened for the guy's voice who ran the fry booth, and we went for it. With the cane, I probably wouldn't have tried because there were too many people, tables, obstacles, and other assorted goo. Within about 30 seconds, I had my straw and was heading back to my table, which she stopped at. I love you, you awesome fuzzball you.

As we left the food court, I asked someone to set me on the right path for the photo place. We got there, and Trixie got me through that narrow space at the door between two poles and marched me straight back through the people and the clutter to the counter we'd been at before. Yeah!

Her awesomeness reached a crescendo of woo when we went to leave the mall. Someone helped me find the hall that led to the buses. she said just go straight and you'll get there. There must have been a turn, because I could feel the draft from the bus exit, and then it was gone. So I stopped and said "Trixie, outside." She wheeled me around in a 180 and booked it in her determined guide dog fashion straight for the exit. When someone said the bus came in, We went out and I said "bus!" and she found it! god damn I love this dog. She gives me that warm fuzzy feeling. She can be a handful, but she's really turned
on the guide dog juice. she is incredible.

Her snow travel doesn't show signs of failing either. She knows that ice means slow down, and is really careful about climbing over icy lumps and ruts in the sidewalk. ...

Sure, some of that she might have been able to do right out of training, but certainly not all, and I wouldn't have understood so many of her subtle little signals.

Some people don't understand what all goes into working with a guide dog. They don't get the concept that the team's learning doesn't stop when they leave training. But truly, the life of a team is a great big string of achievements.

Updates, Random Thoughts, And Assorted Stuff

I guess I should probably update folks, since last Saturday I was all full of "help me! Help me!"

I have myself a steady ride! Yeah baby! It's hard to explain how stressful it is wondering if you'll have rides to work, or wondering which days you should say you're available based on who says they can drive you, along with getting used to the new job and everything. I kept picturing those primitive hunter-gatherers, foraging, hoping that if they just looked in the right places, they'd find the jackpot that would keep everybody fed for the next little while. Sure I wasn't hunting for food, but it was sort of the same feeling of stress. Will I have rides for the next week? Where should I look next? When? In what bit of spare time should I start hunting again? What group of people should I ask next who might be a good resource?

Luckily, I have awesome coworkers who were totally flexible and willing to work with me, which took the stress down several notches. Then, one of them helped me find my ride, and for that, I will be eternally grateful.

This job is totally going to rock my socks off. There is a boat load of stuff to do, but it all has the potential for awesome all over it. Plus, the people I work with are all kinds of amazing. I just hope I can do everything they're looking for. I know one thing. I'm going to learn a whole lot of cool things.

I get impressed by simple things. I made Steve laugh when I came home from work and said "Steve, come here! Look at this! It's a card that opens doors!" I know that doesn't sound like much, but whenever I would do stuff for them before, I would have a visitor's pass that didn't have any door-opening power. Don't get me wrong, I didn't need it since there was always someone going with me to meetings etc. so it was no big deal. But now I'm officially one of the crew! Yeah, I know, I'm a goof.

I still come home tired, but I'm sure that will get easier. But until I can zoom about the office without having to concentrate uber hard, I'll probably be a little brain squishy. Oh well, it means my brain is getting a workout. Thankfully Steve's helping me out a bunch. He makes my lunches and stuff. That sounds like a small thing, but it's appreciated.

I think my coworkers must think I'm weird. As they're showing me how to get from a to b to c, I'll mutter to myself about "There's that buzzing thing again. Where should the buzzing thing be?" No, I'm not crazy. I'm trying to use whatever is buzzing as some kind of orientation clue. If I can remember which way the buzzing thing should go, that will tell me later that I'm on the right track. Then I found out the buzzing thing isn't always on! Damn it!

Trix is getting familiar with the place too. She's funny. She basically knows how to find my desk and the lunch room. The funny part is she can find the lunch room on the way to lunch, which involves navigating this snakey crazy turny section of the hall. But when I come back through, she always goes straight and doesn't try to automatically do the turns to get back to the desk. I can only guess that we have gone a couple of directions after lunch a few times, so she just thinks "duh...boss, I don't know where you want me to go, so I'll just go straight." Oh well, that's why we'll get a couple lessons on how to get around, so I'll know those finer points. But I might need a couple more lessons later on, since we're apparently moving to another floor of the building in a month or so. Ah well, it's all good.

There isn't much else new, I'm just getting used to all this new jobby stuff. Wish me luck, this is a pretty huuuuge opportunity. I hope I don't mess it up. And some day soon, I will have enough brain cells left to write stuff for here again on a more regular basis.

Talk About Cutting To The Chase

I think this is one of those stories that just needs a soundtrack. It also reminds me of this old story I posted years ago.

For the sake of the man's safety, I think this couple should get a divorce, and get the hell away from each other. It's a pretty sick woman who will try to saw off her husband's head while he's sleeping. I mean, maybe he's a big nasty abuser, but I really don't know.

And they have kids. Just how do you explain that to them?

And this isn't the first time she's tried something like this. She came after him with a hatchet before!

Ug. Shiver. If I were him, I'd have a hard time sleeping anywhere.

The Whole Medieval Thing Will Be A Lot Less Fun If They're Sentenced That Way

As far as discipline goes, this is...different.

Fremon and Julie Seay have been arrested and the three children in their home have been removed and are staying with family members. Why? Well, it goes like this.

Julie Seay's 16-year-old daughter went to a party without permission, pretty standard teenaged stuff that often brings some form of punishment. Such punishment usually includes things like groundings, loss of privileges or even the odd sign-carrying public shaming if things really get out of hand. But some punching, a whooping with a tree branch and then a two hour wooden sword fight complete with medieval armour? That's a new one.

According to police, the teen was forced her to dress in armor and fight Fremon Seay with a wooden sword for two hours. Police also said Seay punched and beat his stepdaughter with a tree branch prior to the duel. Investigators said she collapsed from exhaustion.

Investigators learned the couple is part of a group of Renaissance enthusiasts, who recreate fights from the medieval era.

I can only assume this since the article doesn't say, but it seems like even though old Fremon here did most of the combat work, Julie was arrested for not doing anything to put a stop to it and possibly even encouraging it. Even better, she works for a daycare. Another assumption, but perhaps not for long.

the daughter, though badly bruised, is expected to recover...in a physical sense at least.

The Phrase You're Looking For Is Pizza Pie, Not Pizza Pint

When the cops come to help you get your car out of the ditch and ask you if you've had anything to drink today, I had two pizzas to drink for lunch is not an answer that's going to make your day better.

According to arrest records, Louisville police were dispatched to a vehicle in a ditch at the intersection of La Costa Road and Stonybrook Drive about 10 p.m. Saturday.

Police said when officers arrived, an off-duty St. Matthews police officer was talking to the driver, 68-year-old Donn Adams.

Adams seemed confused and disoriented, police said, and told officers he only had two pizzas to drink for lunch.

Officers asked Adams if he was under the influence of drugs, according to arrest records, and Adams told them he wasn't but that he took Suboxone for an opiate addiction.

While they were chatting, officers noticed a couple of syringes filled with something that looked an awful lot like heroin sitting in Adams' car. He said he thought it might belong to a friend who had left it there.

He's been charged with possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia. NO word on whether the paraphernalia consisted of pizza boxes and coupons.

Designated Daughter

How much trash can you really talk about this guy? I mean sure he got hammered and let his 9-year-old drive him to a variety store at 3 in the morning in his work van, but the kid was in a booster seat so at least he's looking out for her safety, right?

The videotape obtained by The Associated Press shows the van pulling up to the station and walking in with his daughter. He told an unseen clerk that she was driving him around because he had been drinking.

“I got a designated driver,” the man said.

The AP is not naming the father in order to protect the identity of his daughter.

The girl told police that her father had been drinking whiskey all night. She said he had allowed her to drive before.

Those other times must have gone pretty well, since the girl seemed kind of surprised that she was stopped.

"What did you stop me for? I was driving good," she reportedly asked the officer.

It might have been her first brush with the law, but it certainly wasn't dad's, as it turns out.

The father, who told officers he was teaching his daughter to drive, was arrested and refused a Breathalyzer test, Grant said. He was charged with second- and fourth-degree child abuse during an Oct. 10 arraignment. He was ordered to have no contact with his daughter.

He also was charged with being a habitual offender and could be sentenced to up to 15 years in prison if convicted. The habitual offender charge stems from convictions on four previous felonies, including receiving and concealing stolen property and unarmed robbery, Grant said.

He was convicted of driving while intoxicated in connection with an October 2007 crash in Wyandotte and had his license restricted for a year, Michigan Secretary of State spokesman Fred Woodhams told the Free Press.

A Bit Of History: Tracy Smothers Wrestles A Bear

There's a lot of stuff you don't see in wrestling anymore. Guys that look different, guys with ring names that aren't completely ridiculous, somebody wrestling a bear...wait, what?

Believe it or not, years ago, that was a thing.

My knowledge of bear match history isn't very good. Being both a Canadian and a kid who grew up caring about all things wrestling rather than just Hulk Hogan like most of my friends, I knew who Dave McKigney was even though I don't remember ever seeing any bear matches on TV or tape. In my world, they were crazy things you just heard about and couldn't believe actually happened. Bear wrestling was little more than some scary stories about the bears killing folks or at least chewing on them.

The first man vs. bear battle I ever saw wasn't until after McKigney was killed in the car accident that also killed Adrian Adonis. It took place in Continental Wrestling, which was the Alabama territory at the time. I'm not sure what the bear's name was, but the man is Tracy Smothers, who some WWF fans from the mid 90's might remember as Freddie Joe Floyd. Here's a video, complete with some of the greatest commentary ever commentated courtesy of Gordon Solie. Yes, he really is putting over the basic grappling instincts of the bear and pointing out that it doesn't know many of the more complicated holds.

When you're done watching that, you can listen to Smothers talk about this and the other bear matches he's had. No, this wasn't the only one. According to Smothers, not only was it not the only one, but it wasn't even the only one that weekend!

All of this makes me wonder what people are going to remember years down the road about modern day wrestling. Not only do we have nobody wrestling animals, some times we're lucky to get much in the way of people wrestling each other. I'm not saying we need to put John Cena in the ring with a bear or anything like that, it's probably best we leave that sort of thing in the past. But somehow wrestling needs to find it's senses of fun, realism and danger again.

The Smarter Criminals Will Needle Him For This In Prison

I really think our drug-dealing apartment dweller has moved on. If not, it's someone just as dumb. Instead of just asking random folk who pass him by, he decided to post flyers in the neighbourhood saying "heroin for sale" complete with his address, phone number, and name! Not surprisingly, the police got very interested and a bunch of people got scooped up and carted off.

Um, really, really, dumb.

Hey Look! It's A Post About Stuff!

It sure is rainy and crappy outside this morning. At least the wind we had during yesterday's rainy crappiness has died down. At times it felt like what's left of our balcony was going to come off the side of the building and fall to earth. It was brutal!

Speaking of what's left of the balcony, when they send those big metal panels away to get redone and prettied up, how long does that usually take? Right now we can't go out there because it's unsafe, but our patio furniture is still living outside. When I say we can't go out there, we literally can't without first taking a screwdriver to the screen door. the building folks have been screwing them shut for safety and likely legal reasons during the repair, so whatever's out there is stuck until they decide to open it again. Right now that's not a huge deal, but eventually it's going to snow, and then...yeah, big deal. I've seen what happens when you leave your shit out for a day too long, and it sucks. If you've never had the experience of prying frozen tables and chairs that are under a giant snowbank off of a concrete slab in freezing temperatures, don't. I'd rather not have it again, so I hope this doesn't take long.

While we're talking apartment building things, we got a new fridge this week. Not sure where that ranks on the Matt's front door scale of historical significance, but it's a nice fridge.

Nice as it is though, it's odd. I've never seen a fridge with so much space where nothing fits quite right. When you adjust the top shelf so that tall things like milk and water jugs will go in, it's hard to put things on the shelf below it. If you move that one down to fix that problem, good luck using the bottom. I may be missing something, but until I figure out what if anything that is, our milk and water are hanging out in the giant door space that I'm starting to think they put in when they realized they fucked up the shelving.

And it has no egg compartment! None! With all the room in this thing, whoever built it could have easily solved the not enough egg slots issue, but no! Guess it was more important to make sure the shelves were annoying.

I appreciate the extra room, but it's not the fridge I personally would have bought. Oh well, how much can I really complain when the building pays for it and it means I don't have to soak up water with paper towels a few times a day? I'll get used to it and probably even like it.

There's news on why TNA may have made the stupid Bobby Roode decision. According to PWInsider, it's Hulk Hogan's fault. TNA was going to do the smart thing and put the belt on Roode, but Hogan lobbied to have it changed and won. Makes sense given that he's said in interviews that he doesn't think Roode is ready to be a top guy. What doesn't make sense is why anybody still listens to Hulk Hogan in 2011. I'm sure he has good ideas to offer as far as how to get the most out of a crowd by doing next to nothing in a match and such, but as far as I know the only person he's ever booked well is himself, so why should his opinions on anybody else carry any weight whatsoever? We're talking about a guy who seems to think you can only be a star in TNA if you've worked in WWE in the 80's or 90's, or better yet, if you're *in* your 80's or 90's. Please, for the sake of the product, stop letting this guy make decisions on who's over. Leave that to the fans and the new clue-based writing crew you're putting together.

I helped my sister pick out a Christmas present for somebody this week. I guess that means I can't live in denial for much longer. It's coming, and I'd better do something about it. Problem is I have a grand total of two gift ideas right now and then I'm stuck. Maybe if I get those out of the way it'll inspire me, but I'm not holding out a lot of hope. Hope you like gift cards and beer, everyone. Both of those would make fine gifts as far as I'm concerned. Just throwing that last bit out there in case anybody who's stuck buying me something happens to be reading.

That's all for now. I'm going to have breakfast. Until we meet again and beyond, remember this: One man's trash is another man's treasure may be a nice saying, but it's a pretty terrible way to tell your kids they're adopted.

Excuse Me While I Text My Girlfraud...I Mean Girlfriend. Yeah, Girlfriend

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well, unless you're me. But no matter who you are this video is worth a lot, because I don't think there are enough words in this or any other language to do it the proper justice. Text messaging service allows men to pretend to have a 'real' girlfriend.

Uh...yeah.

Text something to a number and it'll send you back nice, lovey girlfriendy things so you can trick your pals into thinking that somebody's attracted to you. I guess it could work...until right around the time they notice that she's always unavailable to be around you and them at the same time but can write back really, really fast. Then you just look like a tool on top of whatever shame it was that made you think a telewoman was a good idea to begin with.

And on the subject of shame, one of the uses somebody in that there video predicted this thing would have is to make single guys in groups of taken people feel better about themselves. It can be embarrassing, they say.

Listen. Single guy in groups of taken people pretty much describes most of my grade school life, and it didn't bother me at all. If it's not going to screw you up in high school, you should be good and ready to handle it as an adult, shouldn't you? It's all attitude. Single only means miserable if you want it to, no matter how old you are. Some of the most miserable people I've ever seen are those happy taken ones. Do they need a number they can text that'll send them a few minutes of peace and quiet? Wait, that's actually not a bad idea. Hmmm . . .

But you see my point. Technology is no substitute for a sense of self-esteem and self-confidence, and it shouldn't be. If you've got both of those, it shows. and if it shows, soon you won't have to be the idiot with the SMS MRS, because there's nothing more attractive to the real thing than somebody who looks like he's got his shit together.

Wow, guess I had more words than I thought.

What's Wrong, Cupcake?

We have an unidentified Chicago woman and her unidentified husband. We have a disagreement between the two. We have cupcakes. If you've been here for a while, you know what happens next.

The fight started with a verbal quarrel about 7:45 p.m. at the home in the 4700 block of South Western Avenue, according to a police report, but escalated until the woman started hitting her husband over the head.

After that, she reached for the box of desserts and directed a fusillade of snack cakes at his head and body, her husband told police. Several of the confections apparently hit their mark, as the man's head and shirt were smudged with icing when officers arrived, according to a police report.

He told officers he feared for his safety, and she was verbally aggressive with officers, the report states.

Police said she admitted hurling the treats at her husband.

The woman is apparently free on a $10,000 bond and has been ordered to be electronically monitored. She's been charged with a misdemeanour count of domestic battery.

Mmmm, batter.

Oh TNA, You Were So Close

So, so close.

You were doing everything right. You took Vince Russo out of a job he was no good at. The TV shows leading to Bound For Glory were the best you've done literally in years. Bound For Glory, without needing to grade on the usual TNA is so spectacularly shitty that anything remotely good looks great curve, was a fun wrestling show pretty much from top to bottom. Everything was making so much sense that until you went and screwed up the main event, I had picked every single match correctly. I haven't checked the standings yet, but I'd say that's got to be a helluva way to start the TNA/ROH version of the PWInsider prediction contest.

So what happened? Why, as I sit here writing this, is Bobby Roode not the TNA world champion? It was time. The build was damn near perfect in spite of the ridiculously Vincerussified tournament that started it. The momentum was there. The fans wanted it. It was the biggest show of the year. It could have been a great moment. It could have been the making of a new star. But no. Instead of doing what should have been done, Kurt Angle won...out of nowhere...by cheating. The main event of what you think of as your Wrestlemania...and you give us a fuck finish? Really? At least it wasn't a classic Vince Russo overbooked clusterfuck swerve fuck finish, but still, it kinda sucked and took the air out of a good crowd and what was otherwise a good night.

I have more faith now than I would have two months ago that somehow this will be explained, but no matter how they try to fix it, really, really bad call. Sometimes you only have one chance to get something right, and this felt like one of those times. For the sake of Bobby Roode and TNA, I hope I'm wrong.

Will People Actually Sell Their Old MP3s? Redigi Sure Hopes So

Here's a strange idea. Instead of just deleting all that digital music you don't want anymore, why not sell it? Yes, sell it, like you would with your old tapes and CDs by taking them to a place like The Beat Goes On.

There's a site called Redigi that's trying to make a business out of doing exactly that. here's a video explaining how it all works.

ReDigi.com short for Recycling Digital Music - Rather than discarding music on your harddrive. We are not interested in melting down plastic, turning objects into other objects and so on.. all we are interested in is your MUSIC! We just want to take your unwanted or unused music and reuse them by finding a place where they can continue to provide benefits to others that can appreciate all that we have to offer on ReDigi.com Simply said, we will buy all your mp3 files right from your computer! The future is here, a new marketplace for people to buy new music and sell their used music.
Twitter.com/ReDigiMusic
Facebook.com/ReDig

The idea of reselling something you can make infinite copies of is hard for me to get my head around, but I'll admit it's interesting. Saving a few pennies on something that's going to always be in perfect condition is tempting, but at the same time, it literally is only a few pennies. Is a few cents difference going to mean that much to people? I'm sure it will for some since folks (myself included at times) are pretty cheap, but I'm just not sure about this idea of giving something up to get the really deep discounts.

Digital music isn't like physical media. It doesn't clog up space in your house in the same way. It takes drive space, but the more technology advances, the more that doesn't really matter. Right now, you can store a bazillion songs on something the size of my thumb. You don't need to build shelves to hold it all, you just need a tiny spot in your desk or on a night table. Unlike before, there's no need to downsize a collection. If there's something you aren't into right now, move it somewhere else and don't listen to it. You can always come back to it later without having to wonder why you got rid of it and then buying it again.

I could be wrong, but I see Redigi as more a buying option than a selling option. And with the business model they seem to be working under, I'm not sure how long they can survive that way. If new content for the site is tied closely to people getting rid of things, they may find it hard to come by. I rarely just chuck music nowadays. If I don't want to hear it I can skip it, and there's probably going to be somebody over here who'll ask for it sooner or later anyway, so it makes sense to keep it around. I can't be the only one who thinks that way, and that's the major problem I see these folks having.

I wish them luck and give them credit for trying something different. I'm pretty sure I'll try it out to see what the selection is like, but I really think they have a big uphill battle ahead of them.

Gentlemen, Start Your Gag Reflexes!

I'm sorry for posting this right around breakfast time, but I publish as I find, unfortunately.

I like bacon. Really, I do. I'll probably have some and an egg on toast this morning, in fact. But as long as I live I'll never understand the need some folks have to put it on/use it to flavour everything whether it belongs there or not.


That right there is something called the bacakonator, and you can eat one at the Charlotte Motor speedway if you have no sense of taste or need to ingest it to win a sizable bet. It's a big ass funnel cake covered in chocolate and strawberry sauces. Had well enough been left alone, you wouldn't be reading this right now. But then I saw them. Words that right and proper explain where the word blarf came from. "Topped with a hefty helping of bacon." Just . . . no! Is it an American culture thing to want to eat stuff like that? What's wrong with grabbing a burger and fries?

Speaking of burgers, the same article tells us that the speedway also has you covered in that department if bacon and chocolate isn't your thing.

Also on the menu is the Charlotte pimento mac 'n' cheese burger. Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like (but more): an Angus beef burger topped with a scoop
of pimento mac 'n' cheese, then covered in crumbled pork rinds.

If I were to even attempt that, anyone in anything resembling close range would be covered in something, that's for sure.

I don't have a good way to end this, so I think I'm going to go get some air and let my stomach calm down. You should probably do the same.

The O'Leary & Hedges Exchange

I don't watch the Lang & O'Leary Exchange that much. I have, however, seen enough of Kevin O'Leary to know good and well that he's got a tendency to be a gigantic tool.

For instance...

The other day, author Chris Hedges appeared on the show to talk about Occupy Wall Street. Everything was going fine until O'Leary said something. Seriously, the moment he opened his mouth, douchiness spewed forth and it was all downhill from there. Video evidence to show that I am not wrong can be found here.

Watch this thing and tell me whether you think O'Leary is playing a character or if he's really this much of an idiot. Occupy Wall Street is a weak, "nothing burgers" movement? A few guys with guitars? Does he actually follow the stories that he's paid to report on? Weak, nothing protests don't usually spread around entire countries and across borders, Kevin.

Watching Hedges put this pompous ass in his place is quite great. He never gets overly angry, even after O'Leary calls him a "left wing nutbar." He just calmly makes his points while also letting everyone know that he won't be back because he's not one for going on shows where instead of talking issues, the host would rather attack his character.

While this is happening, the best O'Leary can do is get all upset that Hedges thought he called him a nutcase instead of a nutbar. Really, that happened. Oh, he also tries and fails to twist Hedges' points to fit whatever his agenda is and comes off looking more like a playground bully than the educated business television host he's supposed to be.

I love the CBC. Its news coverage is among the best in the land. I expect and generally get a lot better than the American 24 hour news network style display O'Leary put on. That kind of crap journalism doesn't belong on my CBC, and I'm apparently not the only one who thinks so.

CBC's ombudsman says Kevin O'Leary's heated remarks during an interview with author Chris Hedges violated the public broadcaster's journalistic standards.

The watchdog says hundreds of complaints were filed after O'Leary called the Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist "a nutbar" during CBC News Network's "The Lang & O'Leary Exchange" on Oct. 6.

"There is room at the inn for a range of views, but there is no room for name-calling a guest," CBC ombudsman Kirk LaPointe writes in a decision dated Oct. 13.

"O'Leary might have been genuinely curious about Hedges' views, but his opening salvo only fed contempt, which breached policy."

LaPointe says CBC News correctly issued a private apology to Hedges after the interview but should also have apologized on air.

Some are even going so far as to call for O'Leary's firing. Don't know if I'd join them, but I certainly wouldn't miss him if it happens.

If he does get fired, I'm sure he'll land on his feet. He'd fit in perfectly with the rest of the angry morons on the worthless shithole of a channel that is the Sun News Network.

The Driver On The Bus Goes Get Off At This Random House Over Here

You drive a school bus. One of your 6-year-old passengers tells you she's not feeling well. What do you do? Do you see if she can go back home if you're close enough? Do you scramble to find her something she can ralph in? Do you pull over and help her get some air for a second? Do you comfort her and hope she can wait out the ride to school where there are nurses?

If you're most people, one of those options would probably work. But if you're a certain unidentified Manitoban driver and what's being aledged is true, no. What you do in that case is drop her off at a stranger's house and head on your merry way.

Fortunately the stranger onto whom little Sydnee Jeffery was dumped wasn't the sort who would thank the lucky stars that child porn could be delivered now and helped her call home. It's also fortunate that she remembered what her phone number was so that it didn't have to be any more of an ordeal than it already must have been.

The driver has been suspended pending the results of an investigation that is expected to be finished later today.

Stranger things have happened, but first graders aren't generally known for dropping themselves off in places they don't know. If I'm this driver, I'm using my time off to polish up the old resume, because I'm likely gonna need it.

Anybody Wanna Help A Dork Update Phone Firmware

I feel like I just keep asking for stuff, but here goes.

I've talked a lot about my Nokia N86. Well, I've discovered that it and Talks aren't too kind to me when I'm using the web browser. For some reason, no matter how hard I try, I can't enter text into edit fields. All the keys keep acting as quick navigation keys instead of um realizing I'm in an edit field. This even happens after I've hit select on the edit field. I've been told that I need to update my firmware and this should fix the problem.

Um, erm, and here's where I get scared. I have never updated firmware before. What do I have to do to make sure I don't turn my phone into a Nokia n80-Bricks? Do I have to back up Talks stuff somewhere? What about contacts? third-party software? I can't seem to get a straight answer, and once I reveal just how much of a firmware-updating idiot I am, the crowd of helpful people goes dead silent.

Someone, pleeease, would you be so kind as to educate this phone firmware nitwit before I'm a sobbing heap who has ruined the phone?

And I'm sure that once I've done it once, I will laugh at myself. I've just never done it, and I haven't found awesome instructions about whether or not you lose Talks, KNFB Reader, and all that stuff. I don't really want to find out the hard way, especially not during a week when I really need my phone to be working.

Anybody Heading From #Guelph to Kitchener? Could You Use An Extra Passenger?

Remember back a few days ago when I said I would post more until life had other plans? Well, life already had other plans, and they take effect on Monday. Hopefully I'll be around here still a fair bit, but it could be a little touch and go for a while.

Remember when I talked about working for Desire2Learn for that week there? Well, now they've offered me a long-term job!

Yeawooyeawooyeawooyeawoo bounce!

Ok now I think I can talk more logically. I think you can guess how happy I am about this. I get to be there, test stuff, and help out in other ways on a more regular basis! Yes! Woo! And I start Monday.

But here comes the fun. I've already talked about the weirdness with taking the bus every day and how tiring it was. Now it's gotten weirder. It looks like the earliest bus I can get on is at 8:30 a.m. which would get me there for 9:30. The folks where I'm working are being so awesome that they're willing to work with me and move my start time to fit the bus, and even meet me at the bus station! Can I give you all a great big hug for being the best people in the universe? But the thing is 1. this causes me to spend an hour on the bus before I start walking to work, for a journey that should take a half-hour, and 2. if I do that, then my end time gets pushed forward to really close to when the bus leaves to go home again. Plus, do to all this remastering, our bus station has been moved, and you have to do a big detour if you're coming from the main bus square. I think I could get off on a stop nearby, so I guess that's a way around it, but ug. It still makes things way too complicated. There is Go Service now too, but it's pretty complicated looking as well. You have to go from downtown, to Aberfoyle, to Kitchener, and on the way home, you have to go from Kitchener, back through Aberfoyle, and then the bus dumps you off at the university. At this point, I would have to ride a city bus downtown and then another one to get home! yugugugug! This tacks another good...um...half hour onto the journey home. Did I mentione that the journey between my house and Kitchener is only about a half-hour in total?

This week, I have rides arranged, but they are by no means set in stone. Much thanks to the good folks on Twitter for forwarding my plea for rides around, it is super appreciated. It looks like there's a carpool from Guelph to work, but it's already full.

So, if you regularly drive between Guelph and Kitchener during daytime hours, or know someone who does, please shoot me an email. Pleease. I can give you gas money, pay for coffees in the morning, whatever you want. You have no idea how much easier you will be making my life. Gas money and/or coffee doesn't seem like enough to repay you.

So as I said, this week is under control, but after that, all bets are off. So, if you can help me out, please do. email me at headrick2001@rogers.com, or leave a comment, or heck, follow me on Twitter and let's talk.

There Has To Be An Answer, But What Is It?

Something got me thinking the other day. And when I get thinking, I end up thinking of weird things.

While construction workers were busy remastering Guelph, part of the work involved digging up streets to do sewer lines etc. While they were busy going diggity diggity root root yank, they hit a gas line, and it was time to evacuate an area of about half a kilometre. This almost, but not quite, included evacuating the hospital.

This got me thinking. What if evacuating the hospital was required, and doctors were right in the middle of surgery? What do they do then? I mean, if they stay to finish, they could go boom, but they can't very well run right now, a dude's cut open and who knows what is hangin' out there. And what if it wasn't a gas leak, what if it was a fire or something else equally urgent? Just what do they do in that situation?

I tried googling it out, and didn't get too far. But maybe I just didn't look for the right words. So does anybody know the answer?

You Know When It's Gross

Do me a favour. Listen to the dialogue in this here Wendy's commercial and tell me if it makes you not want a burger as much as I no longer want one.

the sentiment is sweet and all. Wendy naming a burger after her dad since he named the restaurant after her. Aww, that's nice. But Dave's thick, hot juicy beef? Really? I could have done without that, thanks.

Is it just me?

Will She Claim She Only Pretended To Take That Stuff From The Store Without Paying?

If you've been wondering what Ashley Kirilow has been doing since her sentencing, there's an update. If you were hoping it was one filled with good news and happy tales of a woman who has turned her life around, my apologies.

She's done with cancer faking hopefully forever, but her and the legal system have another date with each other thanks to a little shoplifting she's accused of doing in Hamilton. She was arrested earlier this month and has been in jail since the 7th. Her bail hearing was scheduled for today, but there's no news on how it went.

For a change, I have nothing mean or funny to say. This is just sad.

The Good Old VC, Now With A Way Back And Not So Way Back Machine!

Update: I removed the thing. It wasn't crawling pages very well at all, and the only suggested way to fix it isn't accessible unless somebody knows something about dragging and dropping page elements in Blogger using JAWS that I don't. Sorry to those who enjoyed it, and to everyone else, your welcome.

By now you should know how this works. I tell you I've messed with something, I say I hope it works and that you enjoy it and then you tell me whether or not I've gone and fucked things up to a massive degree.

So...we have related posts under each entry now. We've wanted that for a while, but haven't found the right gizmo what for making it possible. Enter LinkWithin. I've seen it used elsewhere and it looked promising, so here it be.

It more than likely hasn't finished indexing the site yet, so some of its suggestions might be kind of unrelated for a while. But when I showed it to Carin it was already coming up with things we could trace back to other things, so there's hope.

We hope you have fun seeing some of the things you missed and revisiting stuff you may have forgotten from years past. And be sure to let us know if it's broken. I set it up, so it probably is.

Shame That Nothing Has Chosen To Occupy This Guy's Empty Head

People, people, people! When are you going to learn that if you're not sure what you're protesting, it's best you stay home and read up on it instead of drawing up a sign and heading downtown? You're giving the folks trying to lend support to what may well be a legitimate and worthwhile movement a bad name and making things much harder for them.

Check out this goober from one of the Occupy Wall Street protests. You should get free schooling because it's your opinion and you're just throwing it out there because that's what you want? That's one compelling argument, I must say. I'm sure all those damn billionaires will be beating down your door with money orders and blank cheques by the time I'm finished writing this. At the very least you should be able to get a loan on the cheap, those Wall Street types have a bit of a fondness for those.

On Free Speech And Hate Speech

The Bill Whatcott hate speech case seems to be sparking a lot of debate in the media, even though the thing should be a no brainer.

Do I like that this douchehamper went around distributing flyers that said bad things about gay people and objected to schools teaching same sex issues to students? No. In fact I doubt I'd lose a whole lot of sleep if something bad happened to him...by accident, of course. But at the same time, as long as he's not violent, he should be allowed to say what he wants. I don't have to like what he says, but he's got as much right to say it as I have to hold the opinion that saying it makes him a malignant prick.

As somebody who writes and says things on a fairly regular basis that somebody else may not like, the idea that a person could accuse me of violating his human rights and probably win is actually pretty frightening. Free speech cuts both ways. It's one of the best and worst concepts we as people have ever come up with. I don't have to like what you say, but because I might want to say something in return I have no choice but to respect and defend your right to say it.

There's a place in society for human rights codes and hate laws, but it needs to be balanced and not abused like it can be now. Going after journalists, comedians and nut jobs with controversial opinions doesn't make the world any better. You can't change attitudes with fines. If anything you'll only wind up fostering an even greater sense of resentment. And wouldn't you rather have horrible people like this out in the open where you can see them? I know I would. Seeing a person's true self allows me to form a more accurate opinion and gives me a chance to teach others why what he's saying isn't what sane and rational people believe.

So even though he sounds like a bit of a koont, I wish Bill Whatcott luck. I don't have to agree with him to agree with him, if you know what I mean.

I'm Amazed You Got Lost In The Maize Maze

It worries me that these people A: reproduced and B: are allowed out unsupervised.

An evening stroll through a corn maze at Danvers’ Connors Farm took a confusing turn Monday, Oct. 10, for a family that became disoriented in the rows of corn and called 911 to ask for help.

A father and mother with two children used their cell phone to call Danvers Police at 6:32 p.m. reporting that they were lost in the corn maze. Danvers Officer Justin Ellenton responded to the call and entered the corn maze with Connor’s Farm manager Ritchie Potter to search for the family.

Within nine minutes of entering the maze, Officer Ellenton and Potter found the family. The family had almost found their way out, unbeknownst to them, they were only 25 feet from the street. Police were not releasing the name of the family as of press time.

Corn mazes are hard, especially the good ones. That's kind of the point. Your group goes in and then uses its collective brain power to find a way out...wait, I think I just found the problem.

Speaking of finding a way out, I hope this makes these people feel just a little bit worse about themselves.

“We had a few people who got a bit lost last year but they found their way out,” Connor said. “There is no wire or fence around the maze, so if they really want or need to get out all they have to do is listen for the sound of traffic they can always make their way through the corn rows to the road.”

Connor said that the farm has a night security person on hand every night and they stay until everybody leaves.

“We make sure there are no cars left in the parking lot. We don’t want to leave anybody behind in the maze,” Connor said.

So if they had just calmed down and used their ears, they would have been fine.

Yes, I just said that. I'm sorry.

Running Is Easy When I Take The Bus

I'm in no shape to be making fun of even the most average of marathon runners, but the most average of marathon runners aren't Rob Sloan.

I'm not even sure it's proper to call Sloan a marathon runner in this case, since he rode a bus the last 9.6 kilometres and then ran out of the woods near the finish line and acted like nothing was wrong. Unfortunately for him, one of the key parts of the phrase spectator shuttle is the word spectator, and several of them watched him get on and off the shuttle, making denying what he'd done impossible.

I can't decide if the worst part of his day would be having to come clean, apologize to everybody and pretty much be shamed in public while losing his prize, or having to live with the fact that even though he cheated, the best he could do was 3rd place. Not only will he forever be known as the guy who cheated in the marathon, but he's got the added benefit of being known as the guy who cheated in the marathon and kinda sucked at it.

The even sadder part is that it probably didn't have to be that way. It seems like he really can run. He's done the marathon straight up before, and the day before the busathon he'd won a 10 K race. Ahh, maybe that's the problem. A marathon is hard enough, so why would you do that? Only he knows...unless he told somebody on the bus.

Rape Threats Over Blog Entries? Seriously?

Someone retweeted this article about the things another blogger goes through because she blogs about women's rights, and I'm in shock. The most we've ever gotten was some poorly-written hate mail. I can't imagine actually getting threats that would make me live in fear. Even scarier is that she's not alone. According to this, not only does she get this sort of stuff, but other bloggers who write about similar, as well as those who comment on these blogs also receive stuff like this. People actually threaten to rape and kill these people, and show them that they know where they live and can find them.

And she's not the first person to mention this sort of thing. Sean Yo, our audio-making buddy, also retweeted a very similar sort of blog entry. Here it is. And this tends to happen to more women than men, although it seems that anyone who offends someone's sensibilities gets death threats nowadays.

Granted, a bunch of the stuff we post here has to do with stupid criminals and jokes, but I have done a fair bit of advocating for things too. I hope the day never comes where I have to live in fear. After all, whoever would want to have me killed certainly would have an advantage.

Why must we share the world with such hateful individuals?

Started Off A Witness, Became A Suspect

I've heard of other people joining in to rob a place once someone had smashed a window. But I don't often hear about the ones who join in reporting the initial crime and saying they were witnesses. Well, the ones who called it in have now been arrested, and funnily enough, the first guy is the only one who hasn't been located.

What Happens When Siri Decides It's Had Enough

This spoof video is funny, but funnier if you watch this serious Siri Video first. You know, I might be half tempted to get an iPhone and just use that siri thing all the time. Screw the touchscreen. Hahaha. Know, I'd probably learn that too, but it would be tempting to be lazy hahaha.

Ouch. Can't Think Of Any Better Title

Really, this story doesn't need much else said. I mean, all you need are the words Man Stabbed In Scrotum With Hypodermic Needle and the flinching begins. I don't even possess a scrotum and I'm shrieking imagining the agony.

And to make things worse, part of the needle broke off inside. Ow ow ow ow ow!

It's believed that his girlfriend was the stabber. Uh, I'd make that his ex-girlfriend if I were him.

The A-Z Of Steve

No idea why every now and then I am moved to do something like this, but people seem to like them as a kind of get to know the guy you may tell to die in a fire when he writes something you don't like sort of thing, so here's the A-Z of me.

• A: Age - 32, but I don't know if I feel 32. Is 32 supposed to feel like something? From day to day I can't tell if I feel younger or older.


• B: Bed size - I either sleep on a couch or on one of those 3 quarter beds that's not quite a double but way bigger than a single.


• C: Chore that you hate - Returning phone calls. Phone gives me pretty bad headaches about 90% of the time. That's right kids, I don't ignore those of you with my phone number because I want to, I do it because I'd rather be able to use the rest of the day. It's nothing personal...most of the time.


• D: Dogs - Not the biggest fan of them even though I had a couple as a kid. One of them was an awesome dog and the other one was a sickly little thing that could only eat by chowing down, throwing up and then chowing down again. He didn't last long. You're stunned. We have Trixie now, and her and I get along just fine.


• E: Essential start to the day - The arrival of midnight. You can't start a new day without it. After that, you're on your own.


• F: Favourite colour - Anything that's easy to match without having to look at it or remember too much. The easier it is to throw on and go, the more your blind friend over here will probably like it.


• G: Gold or silver - Don't really care unless we're talking competition. Then it's gold all the way unless I'm in a contest organized by some kind of contrarian.


• H: Height - Around 5-10 or so. Put another way, not tall enough to offset my fatness.


• I: Instrument you play - That's a little personal, isn't it? We're just getting to know each other. Slow down, tiger!


• J: Job - Entertaining fellow to some, hatemail receptacle to others.


• K: Kids - No, but I like other people's. Just spent a couple of hours playing with one.


• L: Live - In an apartment.


• M: Mother's name - Mom, but you might be able to get away with Mummingford. That'll be funny to like 3 of us.


• N: Nickname - The only one that ever stuck was Bundy, but almost nobody calls me that anymore. No, that's not an invitation to start. It wasn't an insult, but it's done its time.


• O: Overnight hospital stays - When I was born obviously, and then when I was still little while they were trying to figure out what in hell this blindness deal was all about.


• P: Pet peeves - Pretty much everything. If you think I'm kidding, have a look at the archives.


• Q: Quote from a film - "Are you too good for your home?" Figured I'd go with one I actually use in real life.


• R: Right or Left handed - Depends on the task, but mostly left. Ever since I broke my right arm falling up a flight of stairs and realized how much I needed it, I have trouble saying that I'm purely left handed.


• S: Siblings - 2 of 'em. I got to be the oldest.


• T: Time you wake up - Which time? I've heard about this sleeping straight through the night stuff, but I don't have a lot of experience with it. Looks peaceful though I must say.


• U: Underware - Mine. Can't fit into Carin's.


• V: Vegetable you hate - I'd say the one who ran over my foot the other day, but that would be mean so I'll say cabbage.


• W: What makes you late - Being dead. Everybody would call me the late Steve Wettlaufer.


• X: X rays - Teeth every few dentist appointments and the aforementioned broken right arm.


• Y: Yummy food that you make - Meatloaf and homemade burgers are probably my best work.


• Z: Zoo Animal - Some of the spank hankies we share our building with.

There, that wasn't too painful. Hope the quiz lovers around here enjoyed it. Not sure when you'll get another one. Carin may do it, but my money's on no. she's much smarter than I am.

Things To Do: Waste Time, Bore My Followers...

If I'd had any sense, I should have put this next thing up the day Steve wrote about the ability to make twit tickets. But since I don't, it goes up today.

For some inexplicable reason, someone has come up with the ability for people to write their to do list using Twitter. It's called TwitDo, and to me, it has bad idea written all over it

Yes, boys and girls, you can now bore your followers to death by writing down, and broadcasting, your own personal list of things you want to accomplish. Just add the hashtag #todo to the end of your tweet about how you have to do laundry or pick up milk or delete all those unsavory webpages from your history. You don't even have to make a TwitDo account. Whenever you write a tweet with the hashtag #todo, I guess it finds it and makes you your own personal page where your to do list is stored, which any old person can visit. Then, when you've completed a task, you tweet a keyword from it and write #done. If this catches on, I think it could become way worse than 4Square. Yuck!

I've got a better idea. Write your to do list in your computer! Yeah! Or, if you prefer, write it down or braille it on a piece of paper! Ooo! I know this kind of sounds like this old post laughing at people being shocked that people found their blogs, but it is sort of similar.

Please, for the sake of my sanity, don't let this catch on.

An Old Poem Has A New Reader

Sorry I haven't written much over the past while. Believe me, I have a pile of stuff that caught my attention, and hopefully I won't completely forget it all. Plus, I want to have something in the Assistance Dog Blog carnival, and the deadline is coming up...fast. So hopefully that means more posts from me...unless life has other plans.

But here's something to ease me back in. Remember that old Dr. Seuss-style poem about computer crashes? Well, here it is again, only it's spoken by Dectalk, and augmented by a few sound effects. Enjoy.

Gummy Bears, Stumbling Round And Falling Everywhere

With resourceful ideas like this, how can America not be a gloabal leader in math and science? Honestly, if anywhere near the amount of energy went into useful things like fixing the debt or curing diseases as goes into methods for improving laziness and the being hammered experience, that country would be whipping the world's ass at pretty much everything. It's not like they don't have the brain power to make wonderful things happen. To prove this point, I submit for your consideration vodka soaked gummy bears.

Seriously, who thinks of that? Alcoholics yes, but them excluded, this sounds like one of those dumb luck scientific discoveries you hear about all the time that seems to come out of absolutely nowhere. You know, the ones that left field looks at and says hey, where did that come from?

I know as a kid this would have struck me as brilliant, but right now all I can think is jesus, why would you ruin a perfectly good gummy bear like that? I imagine these things tasting like absolute crap. Has anybody tried them? I figure some of you must have since the story says they're "the new teen rage," and you know how well the news knows kids.