Unless your some relation to the Pillsbury Doughboy, you shouldn't try this.
Yesterday, I was slicing bread out in the front of the store when some woman came in. I'd say she was about 55 to 60. She wanted to buy half a pound of yeast. We figured she was going to bake herself some bread or something, so we sold her her half pound of yeast. Just before she goes out the door with it, she says, "Yes, my doctor says I'm low on Vitamin B12, and yeast is high in that, so I'm going to eat this."
Hold on there, lady! Do you not know that yeast is alive, it'll rise in your stomach, make you all bloated up, and to cap all that off, if you don't blow your gizzard out your forehead, you'll be shitting through the eye of a needle, because that's what yeast does? It lives in your intestines.
All I can say is I hope she conducts this little experiment outside, where at least she won't leave a mess for her family to clean up when she parts down the middle like the Red Sea.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Emergency Rooms, Open Your Doors, There's An Imbecile Coming In!
Here's another one from my brother the baker. It's always nice to know that my lack of faith in humanity isn't unfounded.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
More Things Suck
If you'd like to read Matt's thoughts on more things in the media that currently piss him off - text "STEVEGAY" to 12345. If you'd like to read about Matt's family vacation when he was 10 as he camped in Algonquin Park - text "STEVEFAT" to 12354. I'll wait.
That's what I thought.
Advertisers have gotten so lazy! Especially on Canadian television. Not every commercial has to have something to do with hockey, you know? In the past 24 hours I've seen a car company, a bank, an insurance company, a coffee shop and a fast food restaurant all try and tie themselves in some loose way to hockey just because they think all hockey fans are sheep I guess.
OH really, Bobby Orr helped a little kid learn to skate and then went and used his Mastercard? I guess I should get one too! It's lazy! Not to mention it's fucking AUGUST! One or two new concepts would be just wonderful... Thank god for TiVO! yaaaa!
I had a conversation with Steve today online regarding his newfound retarded love for Maroon 5. Unfortunately it was cut short before I was done ripping him because my computer decided to take a big shit. I think even it was disgusted with Steve.
For those who don't know - Steve has an extremely large musical collection that is fairly diverse... but there is no excusing this poppy, generic, squealing excuse for music. She Will Be Loved? Steve will be mocked! That's how this is going to go from now until eternity.
For some ungodly reason someone has decided it's a good time to throw a new version of 90210 on the air... Wicked! Just awesome! So not only do I need to now endure more reality tv than, y'know, creative tv - the little bit of written television out there is now becoming just re-hashed crap from 15 years ago. It reminds me of the music thread. Are we just out of ideas? Has everything been done? Did anyone really notice when the writers went on strike? Aside from a few shows, very little was changed for me becasue there's so much reality garbage on the air.
I currently watch no more than like 5 or 6 things on TV. the simpsons, family guy, sports, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory and 24 (whcn it's actually on). Beyond that nothing strikes me as even interesing, let alone, "can't miss". At the very end of last season I caught an episode of Criminal Minds that I really liked and I've seen a few repeats over the summer that I haven't minded so maybe I'll get in to that when it comes back on in the fall.
Thanks for reading and thanks for texting!
That's what I thought.
Advertisers have gotten so lazy! Especially on Canadian television. Not every commercial has to have something to do with hockey, you know? In the past 24 hours I've seen a car company, a bank, an insurance company, a coffee shop and a fast food restaurant all try and tie themselves in some loose way to hockey just because they think all hockey fans are sheep I guess.
OH really, Bobby Orr helped a little kid learn to skate and then went and used his Mastercard? I guess I should get one too! It's lazy! Not to mention it's fucking AUGUST! One or two new concepts would be just wonderful... Thank god for TiVO! yaaaa!
I had a conversation with Steve today online regarding his newfound retarded love for Maroon 5. Unfortunately it was cut short before I was done ripping him because my computer decided to take a big shit. I think even it was disgusted with Steve.
For those who don't know - Steve has an extremely large musical collection that is fairly diverse... but there is no excusing this poppy, generic, squealing excuse for music. She Will Be Loved? Steve will be mocked! That's how this is going to go from now until eternity.
For some ungodly reason someone has decided it's a good time to throw a new version of 90210 on the air... Wicked! Just awesome! So not only do I need to now endure more reality tv than, y'know, creative tv - the little bit of written television out there is now becoming just re-hashed crap from 15 years ago. It reminds me of the music thread. Are we just out of ideas? Has everything been done? Did anyone really notice when the writers went on strike? Aside from a few shows, very little was changed for me becasue there's so much reality garbage on the air.
I currently watch no more than like 5 or 6 things on TV. the simpsons, family guy, sports, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory and 24 (whcn it's actually on). Beyond that nothing strikes me as even interesing, let alone, "can't miss". At the very end of last season I caught an episode of Criminal Minds that I really liked and I've seen a few repeats over the summer that I haven't minded so maybe I'll get in to that when it comes back on in the fall.
Thanks for reading and thanks for texting!
Here's A Good New Song
Leave it to AC/DC to go away for 8 years and then come back with something that doesn't completely blow a goat. The band's new album "Black Ice" comes out on October 20th, and the first single, "Rock 'N Roll Train" has just hit the radio. I heard it for the first time today and it sounds like an AC/DC song. No bullshit, no we wanted to experiment and expand our horizons or whatever other code words bands have for we're about to drop a steaming turd of a record on you. this is straight up AC/DC, which means it pretty well rules. You can check it out for yourself atACDC.com.
Now that the plug is out of the way, it's back to catching hell on MSN for daring not to hate Maroon 5 for me.
Now that the plug is out of the way, it's back to catching hell on MSN for daring not to hate Maroon 5 for me.
It's All About Equality
Good news, ladies. Covert public alcohol abuse isn't just for the guys anymore. Thanks tothe WineRack,you can now sneak free drinks with as much ease as we can with ourBeerbellies.
I've got a picture of this thing, but Blogger seems to have a bug up its ass right now so I can't upload it. Maybe I'll add it in later, but for now you can see it at the link above.
This comfortable sports-style bra contains a special boob-enhancing polyurethane bladder that can be filled with your drink of choice. Simply slip it on, fill with wine or any other beverage you fancy and wear it under your regular clothes. You can then indulge in a spot of stealth drinking via the WineRack's adjustable drinking tube. With a rack like this girls' nights out will never be the same again. As for boys' nights out, well, the mind boggles.
Just think, secretly guzzling from your gazongas means no more queuing up and forking out for overpriced drinks at festivals, gigs and games. The savings you'll make at just one event will pay for your WineRack™ and still leave you with enough change to buy some nuts - not that you'll be buying anything for yourself with a chest this impressive.
I've got a picture of this thing, but Blogger seems to have a bug up its ass right now so I can't upload it. Maybe I'll add it in later, but for now you can see it at the link above.
It's Time To Get Somebody Fired
It's been a while since we've put up any guest posts, but that changes today.
This one is from my brother. He recently started a new job, and every time I talk to him he's always got stories to tell about something or other. A lot of them are about the people he works with and to be honest, if he's telling me the truth,I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea that some of these people are handling my food.
Anyway, he says he's willing to write some of this stuff down and send it in from time to time. I love this idea, because anything that saves me some thinking time is more than good by me. He's already sent me a couple, and this is the first one. Enjoy.
This one is from my brother. He recently started a new job, and every time I talk to him he's always got stories to tell about something or other. A lot of them are about the people he works with and to be honest, if he's telling me the truth,I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea that some of these people are handling my food.
Anyway, he says he's willing to write some of this stuff down and send it in from time to time. I love this idea, because anything that saves me some thinking time is more than good by me. He's already sent me a couple, and this is the first one. Enjoy.
England swings? Apparently one of my co-workers does too.
I work in a place called the Bun Shoppe. No, it's not some sort of porno palace, it's a bakery. I've worked there for about 6 months now, and am used to the strange people that work there, or so I thought.
Everyone there has worked there for longer than I have, Until Rob started about 3 or four weeks ago. He's a quiet guy, doesn't say much. He's about 18 years old or so, but still seems like a kid somehow, I think it's some of the things he says and does.
The other day, Just Rob and Alice were there. Little Alice we call her, because she's smaller than the other Alice that works there. Anyway, Little Alice, well, to put it politely, never shuts up. She's always talking about something, and you never know what she's going to say.
On Sunday, it was just her and Rob filling bun orders, and they were talking, and all of a sudden Alice, who we all know likes to, well, swop partners with other couples, yes, a swinger. Don't get me wrong, if you can get yourself a wife, or husband that doesn't mind you puttin' it to your best friend's husband's brother's wife or something, more power to you. But Poor Rob had no idea I guess that Alice swings like a pendulum, and out of the blue she launches in to a detailed account of the rules to swinging...yes, apparently there are rules to swinging. She was telling him all about how to properly swing, you have to do everything in the same room as your husband/wife and their new-found partner. Well, Alice was telling him all about how she was with this guy, who she coincidentally is now married to, and her x-husband and his x-wife were doing whatever it is you do while your former mate is watching you. Well, I guess Rob turned red as a beet and just tried to change the subject, but it was too late at that point.
To make this short, he learned that she is in fact still married to this man, but is still wildly in love with her x-husband. No mention of whether her new husband still thinks about his old wife, but chances are he does...maybe they should go to another party and switch back.
Yup
What a day. I don't even know why I say that - I'm just grumpy. I will try and keep the venom being spewed here to a minimum but sometimes you just have those days where shit pisses you off pretty hardcore - and ultimately it's pretty marginal crap.
For one thing. Maroon 5 can fuck off! That was supposed to go in the music post but I forgot - but seriously. Just fuck off. You're annoying. Your songs all sound the same and they make me want to staple my scrotum to a hot stove just so that I have something more painful than your songs to focus on.
On a happier note - Joe Sakic has signed another contract with Colorado and has put off retiring for another year. Burnaby Joe is my favourite player so I'm glad to see him sticking around a little longer. He's not at the point where he's clinging on - he's still a top level forward and I hope he plays one more year after this to captain the Canadian Olympic Team in Vancouver... but that may be wishful thinking for me.
Big long weekend coming up. The weather's supposed to be great for most of the time. Sunny days in the mid 20's - that'll do quite nicely to put me in a better mood. Pound back a few pints on the water. Yes sir.
Serously, though. Fuck off Maroon 5.
Steve, following my music post, mentioned the Real McKenzies and I just wanted to make sure that most of you saw their name. Give them a listen if you get the chance cuz they're definitely a neat sound. I would suggest you start with the song Mainland... but that's just me.
I don't think I've got much else to say today... but I"m sure someting will come up. Oh - does anyone know how many people attended the original Woodstock? I saw part of a documentary on it last night but unfortunately was too tired to stay up but I am curious as to how many people were there.
You know who wasn't there? Fucking Maroon 5! Good!
For one thing. Maroon 5 can fuck off! That was supposed to go in the music post but I forgot - but seriously. Just fuck off. You're annoying. Your songs all sound the same and they make me want to staple my scrotum to a hot stove just so that I have something more painful than your songs to focus on.
On a happier note - Joe Sakic has signed another contract with Colorado and has put off retiring for another year. Burnaby Joe is my favourite player so I'm glad to see him sticking around a little longer. He's not at the point where he's clinging on - he's still a top level forward and I hope he plays one more year after this to captain the Canadian Olympic Team in Vancouver... but that may be wishful thinking for me.
Big long weekend coming up. The weather's supposed to be great for most of the time. Sunny days in the mid 20's - that'll do quite nicely to put me in a better mood. Pound back a few pints on the water. Yes sir.
Serously, though. Fuck off Maroon 5.
Steve, following my music post, mentioned the Real McKenzies and I just wanted to make sure that most of you saw their name. Give them a listen if you get the chance cuz they're definitely a neat sound. I would suggest you start with the song Mainland... but that's just me.
I don't think I've got much else to say today... but I"m sure someting will come up. Oh - does anyone know how many people attended the original Woodstock? I saw part of a documentary on it last night but unfortunately was too tired to stay up but I am curious as to how many people were there.
You know who wasn't there? Fucking Maroon 5! Good!
While We're On The Subject Of Things That Suck...
All the recent talk around here about bad music and things not being what they used to be got me wondering about something. Does anybody in the world still watch Saturday Night Live? And if by chance any of you do, do you watch it more out of habit and hope that it will some day get good again or do you actually enjoy it for what it is today?
I know I hardly represent the entire world even though I should, but if my experience and those of the people I know or happen to wind up in conversations with mean anything, that show should be doing a 0.0 rating every single week. Ok, make that a 0.1 to account for everybody who tunes in, watches for a few minutes and then says "What the hell is this shit?" and tunes out for another 8 months.
I remember a time when, almost without fail no matter where you were or who you were with, you could count on that show to be the common thread that could tie people together. You might have nothing else to talk about, but if one person said "hey, did you see that thing on SNL last week?", you were off and running, doing impressions and talking about your favourite moments. But for the better part of the last decade I haven't had an SNL conversation that didn't have the words fucking sucks or not funny or what the hell happened in it somewhere. But somehow the show keeps chugging along and I don't know how. Maybe it's got something to do with the whole tree falling in the woods thing or maybe NBC doesn't want to kill it out of loyalty (which seems impossible in the TV business). But how it's still around is kind of secondary. What I'm most curious about is who are the people watching it and how is the world hiding them so well?
I know I hardly represent the entire world even though I should, but if my experience and those of the people I know or happen to wind up in conversations with mean anything, that show should be doing a 0.0 rating every single week. Ok, make that a 0.1 to account for everybody who tunes in, watches for a few minutes and then says "What the hell is this shit?" and tunes out for another 8 months.
I remember a time when, almost without fail no matter where you were or who you were with, you could count on that show to be the common thread that could tie people together. You might have nothing else to talk about, but if one person said "hey, did you see that thing on SNL last week?", you were off and running, doing impressions and talking about your favourite moments. But for the better part of the last decade I haven't had an SNL conversation that didn't have the words fucking sucks or not funny or what the hell happened in it somewhere. But somehow the show keeps chugging along and I don't know how. Maybe it's got something to do with the whole tree falling in the woods thing or maybe NBC doesn't want to kill it out of loyalty (which seems impossible in the TV business). But how it's still around is kind of secondary. What I'm most curious about is who are the people watching it and how is the world hiding them so well?
I Tried, But It's Still Impossible
I never thought I'd ask for this. I thought after I was no longer being tortured with this horrible excuse for a song, I would never want to hear it again and would want to make an effort to forget it. But here I am, making a request that seems...impossible? No, the impossible is only the untried!
A friend was over a couple of weeks ago, and somehow, I don't know how, we got talking about the 125th anniversary of W. Ross Macdonald school. The conversation took some twists and turns, and I started exclaiming "Oh that horrible song!" Our friend didn't know what I was talking about, so I thought I'd try and find it. The internet has everything, right? Right?
Wrong! I tried searching for lyrics, the song on YouTube, maybe an mp3 of it somewhere, anything! It's not there! It has fallen through the cracks of the web! But, of all the things for the internet to not have, this is a good choice.
Sadly, I found some other things that the internet should purge. Take this attrocity. It should be gone, and gone post haste. David, It's called a closing tag. Learn it, fear it, respect it. Also, it's called spelling and grammar. Maybe they didn't teach that back when you went there. I don't know. The site sure doesn't speak volumes for the education level of the school's graduates. On second thought, it does explain some of Matt's Facebook friend requests. The official site should have a disclaimer about this horror. "The technical abilities and English skills displayed by this 'webmaster and internet webpage-creater' do not necessarily reflect what is taught at our school."
Another waste of bandwidth is this video. He took it from the window of a bus as he drove through Brantford, and you just might catch a glimpse of the school as the bus zooms by. Tell me, is the cinematography in this video even close to good? My money's on no.
So, after I wandered through the internet dregs, I came up empty-handed. There's only one thing left to do. Does anyone still have a copy of that piece of...music? I'd like it, if only to show my friend that I'm not insane. Whoever crafted it might be a little goofy, but this thing does exist, and I didn't cook it up. I think it starts like ...
*gag* Oh oh oh, I've committed a horrible offense. I've reproduced some of those lyrics. The only reason I remember them is I had to sing it when I got there! I can still hear all the overly enunciated t's and d's.
So now that I've slagged the song to hell, does anybody want to give me a copy? My money's on no, but what the hell. You know what they say about the untried...so I tried.
A friend was over a couple of weeks ago, and somehow, I don't know how, we got talking about the 125th anniversary of W. Ross Macdonald school. The conversation took some twists and turns, and I started exclaiming "Oh that horrible song!" Our friend didn't know what I was talking about, so I thought I'd try and find it. The internet has everything, right? Right?
Wrong! I tried searching for lyrics, the song on YouTube, maybe an mp3 of it somewhere, anything! It's not there! It has fallen through the cracks of the web! But, of all the things for the internet to not have, this is a good choice.
Sadly, I found some other things that the internet should purge. Take this attrocity. It should be gone, and gone post haste. David, It's called a closing tag. Learn it, fear it, respect it. Also, it's called spelling and grammar. Maybe they didn't teach that back when you went there. I don't know. The site sure doesn't speak volumes for the education level of the school's graduates. On second thought, it does explain some of Matt's Facebook friend requests. The official site should have a disclaimer about this horror. "The technical abilities and English skills displayed by this 'webmaster and internet webpage-creater' do not necessarily reflect what is taught at our school."
Another waste of bandwidth is this video. He took it from the window of a bus as he drove through Brantford, and you just might catch a glimpse of the school as the bus zooms by. Tell me, is the cinematography in this video even close to good? My money's on no.
So, after I wandered through the internet dregs, I came up empty-handed. There's only one thing left to do. Does anyone still have a copy of that piece of...music? I'd like it, if only to show my friend that I'm not insane. Whoever crafted it might be a little goofy, but this thing does exist, and I didn't cook it up. I think it starts like ...
One-hundred and twenty and five
are the years, all the years
that the spirit (or vision) expressed in our motto has been alive.
and all those years,
we believed,
that the impossible is only the untried
and we tried.
*gag* Oh oh oh, I've committed a horrible offense. I've reproduced some of those lyrics. The only reason I remember them is I had to sing it when I got there! I can still hear all the overly enunciated t's and d's.
So now that I've slagged the song to hell, does anybody want to give me a copy? My money's on no, but what the hell. You know what they say about the untried...so I tried.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Jeepers, Creepers, Where'd Ya Get Those Peepers?
There's a new trend in Springfield, Missouri that has everybody very confused. People are stealing...peepholes? Yup, peepholes. And noone knows why. It can't be for the metal, since they're mostly made of cheap steel. It has to be so they can get a peep at the folks on the inside. It's been going on for months, and people haven't the slightest clue. Does anybody out there know why anyone would steal a peephole?
Some Ramblings - Part of Which Makes Me Feel Old
I'm at a serious loss for music right now. Part of this is due to the fact that I had a fire at my place a month or so back and still haven't gotten my iPod back from the company who took the electronics to clean them. But mainly just because nothing has struck me lately.
Back in the day, I was really hard in to Punk Rock. Stuff like Anti-Flag, Pennywise, Rancid and bands like that... but recently I have lost a lot of interest in much of their new stuff. I still, on occasion, will go back and get in to the old stuff... but the newer things aren't striking my interest, nor is any of the newer, heavier punk stuff that has come out.
Anti-Flag for a long time was my favourite band but the last album or two have just not done it for me... In fact, the last one I bought I've only listened to twice and haven't put it on again.
Last year I got really in to Authority Zero and Rise Against and some Against Me! - but that's it...
Right now if asked what my favourite band is, I'd like say the Tragically HIp. but it's not like they're putting out new stuff all the time and I'm more just in to a lot of their older stuff too.
Am I getting old or is much of the new music really just not as good lately? There's something to be said for the fact that as you get older you lose some of that teen angst and stuff - but it's odd just how often my mood now actually makes me not want to hear something really loud. I find I'm more in to listening to the accoustic album the Foo Fighters put out. I don't say that to say that there's anything wrong with the Foo's - but that was never my deal before. Maybe I really am just getting older.
I used to really like rock radio stations like Edge 102 and now it's so weak! For one thing I have a serious problem with bands like Coldplay being on rock radio when I don't see them as rock at all. The term "rock" has become so broad that it's impossible to please people on a radio station. You now need a classic rock, a hard rock, and an alternative rock station in just a medium sized market. Alternative rock used to basically mean punk or goth or just stuff that was creepy. Now there's so many different styles out there that don't fit in to any other category that they just call it Alternative and to be honest with you - I couldn't even listen to an alternative station because in one set I could hear Theory of a Deadman, Coldplay, Alexisonfire and U2. Who does that please? Does a hardcore U2 fan stand much chance of like Alesix? Or vise versa?
Stuff like Much/MTV is worse. They spend far more of their day on things that don't even relate to music and then when they do play a video it's the same 15 they played the day before. Wow, Rihanna's at number one for the 104th straight week, eh? Awesome!
Where do you turn to find new, GOOD music these days? I feel like I'm drowling in a pool of just awful music. To further my point, on my hard drive I have 45 songs from 2006-2008. I have 982 from 2000-2006 and over a thousand from before 2000. The mat doesn't add up.
Oh, I should mention that in college I fell in love with Bedouin Soundclash and Ill Scarlett but they just missed that 06 mark so they didn't help pad that 06-08 timeframe but I do check out their new stuff.
On that note - you should all find the song Santa Monica by Bedouin. It's a rare gem but you'll love it if you're able to find it.
Back in the day, I was really hard in to Punk Rock. Stuff like Anti-Flag, Pennywise, Rancid and bands like that... but recently I have lost a lot of interest in much of their new stuff. I still, on occasion, will go back and get in to the old stuff... but the newer things aren't striking my interest, nor is any of the newer, heavier punk stuff that has come out.
Anti-Flag for a long time was my favourite band but the last album or two have just not done it for me... In fact, the last one I bought I've only listened to twice and haven't put it on again.
Last year I got really in to Authority Zero and Rise Against and some Against Me! - but that's it...
Right now if asked what my favourite band is, I'd like say the Tragically HIp. but it's not like they're putting out new stuff all the time and I'm more just in to a lot of their older stuff too.
Am I getting old or is much of the new music really just not as good lately? There's something to be said for the fact that as you get older you lose some of that teen angst and stuff - but it's odd just how often my mood now actually makes me not want to hear something really loud. I find I'm more in to listening to the accoustic album the Foo Fighters put out. I don't say that to say that there's anything wrong with the Foo's - but that was never my deal before. Maybe I really am just getting older.
I used to really like rock radio stations like Edge 102 and now it's so weak! For one thing I have a serious problem with bands like Coldplay being on rock radio when I don't see them as rock at all. The term "rock" has become so broad that it's impossible to please people on a radio station. You now need a classic rock, a hard rock, and an alternative rock station in just a medium sized market. Alternative rock used to basically mean punk or goth or just stuff that was creepy. Now there's so many different styles out there that don't fit in to any other category that they just call it Alternative and to be honest with you - I couldn't even listen to an alternative station because in one set I could hear Theory of a Deadman, Coldplay, Alexisonfire and U2. Who does that please? Does a hardcore U2 fan stand much chance of like Alesix? Or vise versa?
Stuff like Much/MTV is worse. They spend far more of their day on things that don't even relate to music and then when they do play a video it's the same 15 they played the day before. Wow, Rihanna's at number one for the 104th straight week, eh? Awesome!
Where do you turn to find new, GOOD music these days? I feel like I'm drowling in a pool of just awful music. To further my point, on my hard drive I have 45 songs from 2006-2008. I have 982 from 2000-2006 and over a thousand from before 2000. The mat doesn't add up.
Oh, I should mention that in college I fell in love with Bedouin Soundclash and Ill Scarlett but they just missed that 06 mark so they didn't help pad that 06-08 timeframe but I do check out their new stuff.
On that note - you should all find the song Santa Monica by Bedouin. It's a rare gem but you'll love it if you're able to find it.
Not Suitable For The Job
Hey Darren Mirren! What the hell were you thinking suing an employer when it was you who couldn't get your dumb ass to the interview? You were offered about, oh, a million more chances than your average applicant. When you didn't show up, they called you at home. You said you couldn't find the office, so they gave you directions and an alternate interview time, which you declined! Now, when you don't have the money to buy videogames and junk food, you decide to sue for age discrimination. You're a tool, and you will likely fuck up your mom's reputation at the place, since it was through her that you got the interview at all! Way to go, a fine start to your resume.
People probably think I'm nuts. But this one especially pisses me off since I applied for a job I was particularly interested in, I got an interview request, but I was 300 miles away because my grandma was in the hospital. Since I couldn't get back the next day for an interview, I was told, "see ya later," even though I offered to do the interview by phone. So this little shit was given far more chances than he should have been, and he still said, "na," and then he sued.
Thankfully, the suit was thrown out, but the spoiled kid still has the gall to insist that he was in the right. Uh-huh. Better luck next time.
People probably think I'm nuts. But this one especially pisses me off since I applied for a job I was particularly interested in, I got an interview request, but I was 300 miles away because my grandma was in the hospital. Since I couldn't get back the next day for an interview, I was told, "see ya later," even though I offered to do the interview by phone. So this little shit was given far more chances than he should have been, and he still said, "na," and then he sued.
Thankfully, the suit was thrown out, but the spoiled kid still has the gall to insist that he was in the right. Uh-huh. Better luck next time.
Wel Wel Well, A Chip Off The Old Cock!
What's funnier? Is it that a long-lost father and son both ended up in the sexual predators' wing of a Scottish jail, or that the jail is called Peterhead Jail?
All joking aside, they sound like a sick pair.
All joking aside, they sound like a sick pair.
A Prisoner of Flawed Logic
Here's a comfort for those heading over to do a tour of duty in Iraq. You're safer there than working as a federal prison guard. Why? Because guards there aren't even given non-lethal weapons or protective vests.
Jose Rivera survived two tours of duty in Iraq, only to be stabbed to death by two inmates. He had no weapons and was guarding 100 prisoners. Oh, but he had a radio to call for backup. Isn't that great?
How does sending guards into prisons completely unarmed while prisoners are armed with homemade weapons make any sense? I'm surprised we don't hear about more deaths.
Jose Rivera survived two tours of duty in Iraq, only to be stabbed to death by two inmates. He had no weapons and was guarding 100 prisoners. Oh, but he had a radio to call for backup. Isn't that great?
How does sending guards into prisons completely unarmed while prisoners are armed with homemade weapons make any sense? I'm surprised we don't hear about more deaths.
WebVisum Update
I figure I should say this, since I raved about WebVisum so much. Now, they've sort of locked it down. To prevent spammers from signing up and cracking captchas, you have to be invited by someone who's already registered. So...to anybody who I know who might want a WebVisum account, just ask me and I'm sure I can hook you up.
Break A Leg, Dude
Scott Listemann, the guy Imade fun of back in July for losing his leg while skydivinghas a new one now and is back in business.He's not sure how the old one fell off, and doesn't seem to think that hurtling towards the earth at breakneck speed had anything to do with it.
Seriously though, good for him. I've got all my limbs and there's almost no chance you'll ever find me willingly jumping out of a perfectly good airplane.
Seriously though, good for him. I've got all my limbs and there's almost no chance you'll ever find me willingly jumping out of a perfectly good airplane.
Did Anybody See Him Do It?
I have 1 question aboutJohn R. Herdmann and his condom theft,and no, it's not about why a guy would go to all the trouble of busting up his SUV just for a couple pakcs. What I'm curious about is how he managed to do what the article says he did.
So did he throw the camera through the window? Figure out how to pick a lock with a videotape? I'm confused. The only thing I'm sure of is that somebody just graduated fromthe Guelph Mercury School Of Journalism.
Police identified him as the man who broke into the store using surveillance footage.
So did he throw the camera through the window? Figure out how to pick a lock with a videotape? I'm confused. The only thing I'm sure of is that somebody just graduated fromthe Guelph Mercury School Of Journalism.
Rest In Peace, Shamu
Get ready for the latest and greatest from the fucksticks at PETA.
I was not aware of this until right now, but apparently all of the SeaWorld parks could be up for sale because ofthe sale of Anheuser-Busch to InBev.And if there's going to be a sale, guess who says they've found a backer to help them buy at least one? That's right,PETA.And if they get their wish, the first thing they'll do is release all of the attractions into the wild, presumably because everyone there is retarded and knows nothing about animals or nature. I guess I took it for granted that everybody over the age of 12 knew that if you take something that was born in captivity and throw it out into the world that it will quickly be killed or slowly die because it doesn't have all of the necessary skills it needs to fend for itself. How silly of me. Then again, I should expect nothing less from these imbeciles. Actually scratch that. I should expect *even* less from them, and sadly I'll probably get it sooner or later. Seriously guys, go eat a few burgers or something. Anything it takes to save whatever might be left of your brains.
I was not aware of this until right now, but apparently all of the SeaWorld parks could be up for sale because ofthe sale of Anheuser-Busch to InBev.And if there's going to be a sale, guess who says they've found a backer to help them buy at least one? That's right,PETA.And if they get their wish, the first thing they'll do is release all of the attractions into the wild, presumably because everyone there is retarded and knows nothing about animals or nature. I guess I took it for granted that everybody over the age of 12 knew that if you take something that was born in captivity and throw it out into the world that it will quickly be killed or slowly die because it doesn't have all of the necessary skills it needs to fend for itself. How silly of me. Then again, I should expect nothing less from these imbeciles. Actually scratch that. I should expect *even* less from them, and sadly I'll probably get it sooner or later. Seriously guys, go eat a few burgers or something. Anything it takes to save whatever might be left of your brains.
Matt Struggles to Understand Human Interaction
Good Day to you all!
I recently received a friend request on Facebook from someone who attended the same high school as me. I probably spoke 9 words to this person in the entire time we were at the same school, and haven't heard from them since (about 6 years) and now out of the blue I get a friend request from them.
Now I'm used to this. I get these everyday from people who's names I vaguely remember but that I never had time for whenever I knew - or that never had time for me. Either way - it seems like an odd practice to me to link ourselves simply because we passed each other in a hallway once just because we both use a similar program. I generally decline these - usually not to be rude, but simply because I choose to mainly use Facebook to share things with friends I currently have - or to get in touch people I actually was friends with at one point who I have lost touch with... and it's great for that.
So that said, this post is not going to be about blasting this person for trying to add me because I know it's very common and many people do it - and I've been guilty of accepting them before from people I now wonder why I bothered to.
The point here is the private message that came with the friend request... The name of the person and the school has been removed to protect the identities of the innocent. :)
"You won't recognize my pic it's about two years old but i hope you will add me as a friend although yes you did make fun of me in highschool at (school) because i was so fat but i'm over it now i hope you will accept my apology"
Now, I posted this even though it makes me look like a total ass. I'll say this. I don't specifically remember making fun of this person for being overweight in high school. That said, I was an ass in high school (and now) and made fun of my friends for lots of shit, and them me, but she and I rarely spoke to each other. However, some of my friends made fun of her and it would be virtually impossible for me to say that I never once jumped on an opportunity to join in. That said...
If I did make fun of her for being fat 6 to 10 years ago, why does she want to be my friend now? I have about 5 or 6 friends from high school. People just drift apart. It happens. It's natural. I really haven't spent much time worrying about tracking back in time to find everyone I ever hung out with... and certainly haven't spent any time going back looking for people who i remember beking total assholes to me.
Secondly... why is she apologizing to me? If I taunted her should she not be wanting me to apologize? Do I now have to forgive her? The whole thing is very strange to me.
You can call me cold - but I declined the request, as I often do to many different people. I'm not one of these people who takes pride in having more friends than anyone else on these sites and don't kid yourself - those people are everywhere! "Look how popular I am! I have 1347 friends!" Ok, bud. I bet you stay pretty tight with all of them, too, don't you?
Anyway, I just thought I'd share that with you as it's these little puzzles that I tend to spend my quiet moments thinking about. I sometimes wonder if there's something wrong with me for not understanding so much about humanity. :)
In closing, I just want to say to Carin that I hope she's doing alright. Most people don't know this from just reading, but Carin is quite likely the nicest person you could ever hope to mee and it kinda bums me out to know she's bummed out because it's pretty uncommon. I can't say that I know Carin better than anyone or that we're super close or anything like that - but I know that she's helped me out with a million different things, as she has for a ton of other people and it's almost always with a smile. You just wanna pick her up and put it in your chest pocket, which isn't far from being possible! :D
Anyway, Carin. Better days ahead and I hope you're feeling better.
I recently received a friend request on Facebook from someone who attended the same high school as me. I probably spoke 9 words to this person in the entire time we were at the same school, and haven't heard from them since (about 6 years) and now out of the blue I get a friend request from them.
Now I'm used to this. I get these everyday from people who's names I vaguely remember but that I never had time for whenever I knew - or that never had time for me. Either way - it seems like an odd practice to me to link ourselves simply because we passed each other in a hallway once just because we both use a similar program. I generally decline these - usually not to be rude, but simply because I choose to mainly use Facebook to share things with friends I currently have - or to get in touch people I actually was friends with at one point who I have lost touch with... and it's great for that.
So that said, this post is not going to be about blasting this person for trying to add me because I know it's very common and many people do it - and I've been guilty of accepting them before from people I now wonder why I bothered to.
The point here is the private message that came with the friend request... The name of the person and the school has been removed to protect the identities of the innocent. :)
"You won't recognize my pic it's about two years old but i hope you will add me as a friend although yes you did make fun of me in highschool at (school) because i was so fat but i'm over it now i hope you will accept my apology"
Now, I posted this even though it makes me look like a total ass. I'll say this. I don't specifically remember making fun of this person for being overweight in high school. That said, I was an ass in high school (and now) and made fun of my friends for lots of shit, and them me, but she and I rarely spoke to each other. However, some of my friends made fun of her and it would be virtually impossible for me to say that I never once jumped on an opportunity to join in. That said...
If I did make fun of her for being fat 6 to 10 years ago, why does she want to be my friend now? I have about 5 or 6 friends from high school. People just drift apart. It happens. It's natural. I really haven't spent much time worrying about tracking back in time to find everyone I ever hung out with... and certainly haven't spent any time going back looking for people who i remember beking total assholes to me.
Secondly... why is she apologizing to me? If I taunted her should she not be wanting me to apologize? Do I now have to forgive her? The whole thing is very strange to me.
You can call me cold - but I declined the request, as I often do to many different people. I'm not one of these people who takes pride in having more friends than anyone else on these sites and don't kid yourself - those people are everywhere! "Look how popular I am! I have 1347 friends!" Ok, bud. I bet you stay pretty tight with all of them, too, don't you?
Anyway, I just thought I'd share that with you as it's these little puzzles that I tend to spend my quiet moments thinking about. I sometimes wonder if there's something wrong with me for not understanding so much about humanity. :)
In closing, I just want to say to Carin that I hope she's doing alright. Most people don't know this from just reading, but Carin is quite likely the nicest person you could ever hope to mee and it kinda bums me out to know she's bummed out because it's pretty uncommon. I can't say that I know Carin better than anyone or that we're super close or anything like that - but I know that she's helped me out with a million different things, as she has for a ton of other people and it's almost always with a smile. You just wanna pick her up and put it in your chest pocket, which isn't far from being possible! :D
Anyway, Carin. Better days ahead and I hope you're feeling better.
Brain Dump
Well, I'm tired. I didn't sleep much last night. So I'm hoping this random pile of stuff will make me burn out so maybe I'll catch a nap.
For people who were wondering, I'm doing ok. There are times when I climb the rollercoaster hill and I'm at the top, like when I manage to get a bunch of stuff done, and there are times when I realize why they have those strap thingies over my shoulders because I'm upside down, going down, down, down some more, like when I googled my own name and found Grandma's obituary. Now that, that's weird. I head home tomorrow and the service is Saturday. Mom and dad seem to be doing ok, I think because they have to be.
You probably think I'm an insensitive bitch for posting stupid shit over the past few days. But it kind of helps to do something, because I don't have a lot of ambition to go out walking around. So, at least I can write short, easy posts. I've been meaning to write this one for a while, but it seemed like too much work. Now I think I can do it. Looking at that, I feel like an overdramatic whiner.
Here's another old blindy thing. Do you remember the really old braille books? Do you remember how they used to have strings right in them that you could use as a bookmark? That was cool! I wonder why they stopped doing them. Was it too hard to repair them once they broke? Speaking of which, I have to tell them that one of the strings on the book I just finished is non-existent.
Like I said in another post, I'm getting ready to go to the GDB reunion in September. For people who don't know, if you have a guide dog, or I guess a dog of any kind, and you're going between countries, you have to get a health certificate to state that the dog is free of disease, up to date on vaccinations, etc. Customs doesn't always ask for it, but they can. This got me thinking. Why don't people need to have a certificate stating that they're healthy too? I mean, maybe that would have prevented the whole Andrew Speaker thing. I know I sound paranoid, but hey, if my dog has to jump through hoops, why not us humans?
A little while ago, a couple of people said their eye doctors told them to stay far, far away from Visine eye drops, but the people couldn't tell me why. That made me wonder, because the damn things are everywhere. Were the doctors just trying to get the people to get a perscription instead of over the counter stuff? Or are the things evil? It's not likely that I'd have a need for the things, but I'm still curious.
Apparently, I look like the girl on some cigarette packs. I think Steve's stepdad said Canadian cigarettes, I think that's a brand. Yeah, you can tell I don't smoke. The picture is a side-view of a girl wearing a striped shirt and she's looking at her mom or something. Anyway, he looks at me and says, "Has anyone told you you look like the girl on the cigarette packs?" Of course, I've only heard of scary pictures on cigarette packs like yellow teeth, black lungs and disfigured fetuses, so I started laughing and asked if the girl's growth was stunted or something, and wondered what he was trying to say about me. Was he saying I was an ugly, scary woman? He finally convinced me he was serious, and the picture wasn't ugly. So eeewww, I'm on a pack of cigarettes. That's just weird. If anyone sees her, let me know. I wish I had a good picture of me from the side and a picture of the cigarette pack, but I have neither.
You know POINTTS? That organization that helps people fight traffic tickets? I've heard their ads on the radio for years, but never have they said that POINTTS has two t's. Why the hell not? It's radio! People can't see the screen where they can write it down. But I guess back years ago, there was no internet. But there was a phone book, and I could see a lot of people looking up "POINTS" and getting really mad that it wasn't there. Then maybe they'd speed somewhere to ask someone where the hell it was and get another ticket. Maybe that was the plan.
Speaking of police stuff, the Crimestoppers ads always made my head spin with this one piece. "Your call is anonymous, we dont' subscribe to call display. If your tip leads to an arrest, you are eligible for a reward." Um, how would they find me to give me the reward if I'm anonymous? Nobody's been able to explain that to me.
Man, candidates in the by-election, which has probably been rendered useless, seem desperate. They've hired telemarketers to call me and ask me if candidate x can count on my support. Not if they keep this harassment campaign up, and especially not if they can't pronounce his name. I got to tell one candidate that his campaign drones had better sit down and have a lesson on how to say his name. I mean, even JAWS can say it properly. Guys, it's Frank Valeriote! But one woman went, "I am calling on behalf of Frank...V...V...Val...are---ee...yat?" Yeah, ok. That's really convincing.
This is a small pet peeve of mine. Have you ever heard people say "\" when they mean "/"? They always do it with web addresses. For example, they'll say "www.itsaslash.com backslash yourestupid." I wrote out backslash, because this happens all the time on the radio. A Backslash looks like this: \ Take a good hard look at it. I'll show you again. \ Got it? That does not appear at the end of web addresses. A slash, like this, / does. Take a look at that. / Now this one. \ They go the opposite way. See? Here's the right one. / Here's the wrong one. \ Stop mixing them up!
Here's a piece of good news. I got an email yesterday saying my new computer is on its way. Yea! Now poor Steve agreed to help me reinstall bunches of stuff that I had on the old computer so when I came back from my grandma's funeral, it was sort of like the old one. So if he doesn't post much, that's probably why. Or maybe he'll post just to curse me for causing him to pull his hair out.
And that's about it. Kind of disappointing, isn't it?
For people who were wondering, I'm doing ok. There are times when I climb the rollercoaster hill and I'm at the top, like when I manage to get a bunch of stuff done, and there are times when I realize why they have those strap thingies over my shoulders because I'm upside down, going down, down, down some more, like when I googled my own name and found Grandma's obituary. Now that, that's weird. I head home tomorrow and the service is Saturday. Mom and dad seem to be doing ok, I think because they have to be.
You probably think I'm an insensitive bitch for posting stupid shit over the past few days. But it kind of helps to do something, because I don't have a lot of ambition to go out walking around. So, at least I can write short, easy posts. I've been meaning to write this one for a while, but it seemed like too much work. Now I think I can do it. Looking at that, I feel like an overdramatic whiner.
Here's another old blindy thing. Do you remember the really old braille books? Do you remember how they used to have strings right in them that you could use as a bookmark? That was cool! I wonder why they stopped doing them. Was it too hard to repair them once they broke? Speaking of which, I have to tell them that one of the strings on the book I just finished is non-existent.
Like I said in another post, I'm getting ready to go to the GDB reunion in September. For people who don't know, if you have a guide dog, or I guess a dog of any kind, and you're going between countries, you have to get a health certificate to state that the dog is free of disease, up to date on vaccinations, etc. Customs doesn't always ask for it, but they can. This got me thinking. Why don't people need to have a certificate stating that they're healthy too? I mean, maybe that would have prevented the whole Andrew Speaker thing. I know I sound paranoid, but hey, if my dog has to jump through hoops, why not us humans?
A little while ago, a couple of people said their eye doctors told them to stay far, far away from Visine eye drops, but the people couldn't tell me why. That made me wonder, because the damn things are everywhere. Were the doctors just trying to get the people to get a perscription instead of over the counter stuff? Or are the things evil? It's not likely that I'd have a need for the things, but I'm still curious.
Apparently, I look like the girl on some cigarette packs. I think Steve's stepdad said Canadian cigarettes, I think that's a brand. Yeah, you can tell I don't smoke. The picture is a side-view of a girl wearing a striped shirt and she's looking at her mom or something. Anyway, he looks at me and says, "Has anyone told you you look like the girl on the cigarette packs?" Of course, I've only heard of scary pictures on cigarette packs like yellow teeth, black lungs and disfigured fetuses, so I started laughing and asked if the girl's growth was stunted or something, and wondered what he was trying to say about me. Was he saying I was an ugly, scary woman? He finally convinced me he was serious, and the picture wasn't ugly. So eeewww, I'm on a pack of cigarettes. That's just weird. If anyone sees her, let me know. I wish I had a good picture of me from the side and a picture of the cigarette pack, but I have neither.
You know POINTTS? That organization that helps people fight traffic tickets? I've heard their ads on the radio for years, but never have they said that POINTTS has two t's. Why the hell not? It's radio! People can't see the screen where they can write it down. But I guess back years ago, there was no internet. But there was a phone book, and I could see a lot of people looking up "POINTS" and getting really mad that it wasn't there. Then maybe they'd speed somewhere to ask someone where the hell it was and get another ticket. Maybe that was the plan.
Speaking of police stuff, the Crimestoppers ads always made my head spin with this one piece. "Your call is anonymous, we dont' subscribe to call display. If your tip leads to an arrest, you are eligible for a reward." Um, how would they find me to give me the reward if I'm anonymous? Nobody's been able to explain that to me.
Man, candidates in the by-election, which has probably been rendered useless, seem desperate. They've hired telemarketers to call me and ask me if candidate x can count on my support. Not if they keep this harassment campaign up, and especially not if they can't pronounce his name. I got to tell one candidate that his campaign drones had better sit down and have a lesson on how to say his name. I mean, even JAWS can say it properly. Guys, it's Frank Valeriote! But one woman went, "I am calling on behalf of Frank...V...V...Val...are---ee...yat?" Yeah, ok. That's really convincing.
This is a small pet peeve of mine. Have you ever heard people say "\" when they mean "/"? They always do it with web addresses. For example, they'll say "www.itsaslash.com backslash yourestupid." I wrote out backslash, because this happens all the time on the radio. A Backslash looks like this: \ Take a good hard look at it. I'll show you again. \ Got it? That does not appear at the end of web addresses. A slash, like this, / does. Take a look at that. / Now this one. \ They go the opposite way. See? Here's the right one. / Here's the wrong one. \ Stop mixing them up!
Here's a piece of good news. I got an email yesterday saying my new computer is on its way. Yea! Now poor Steve agreed to help me reinstall bunches of stuff that I had on the old computer so when I came back from my grandma's funeral, it was sort of like the old one. So if he doesn't post much, that's probably why. Or maybe he'll post just to curse me for causing him to pull his hair out.
And that's about it. Kind of disappointing, isn't it?
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Blind Corps
I got an interesting email that I think deserves a post. I did a bit of googling, and nothing nasty comes up to say that it's a scam or the founders aren't to be trusted or whatever, so here goes.
I think this is a great idea, and I hope it works out for them. I love the idea of teaching the methods to people who are from there so that they may continue the legacy. It's also encouraging that the vice-president is from there, so she will know what would be considered acceptable and what would be thought of as pushing values on people to which they may not be receptive. I really hope that the group can carry it out. If they can, it will mean a lot, possibly inspiring others to do similar things in other countries. India and Pakistan spring to mind.
Dear Friends and Family:
First thank you again for any and all support that you have given to Blind Corps in the past. As you know we had a very successful project last year with 32 graduating from our class. We were inspired by the eagerness of our participants to learn our approach to rehabilitation. We have been invited to provide our training again this year. In October we will provide instruction to 45 individuals the first week and 55 individuals the second week.
Our Blind Corps vision is that "We are opening doors into undiscovered worlds with the blind of developing nations." Our purpose is to develop, motivate, promote and facilitate the hidden strengths and assets of the blind, and to assist them in building upon and enhancing living conditions and lifestyles for themselves. Our commitment is to extend and pass on the experience and success we have gained through our collective years of service working with the blind in the USA, in mutual and respectful exchange to blind persons of other nations. Because our Vice President, Fatos Floyd is a native of Turkey and was particularly familiar with resources and conditions in her homeland, it was only natural for Blind Corps to select Turkey as the location for our first service project.
While rehabilitation and services and general conditions for the blind to live, to work, to raise families, and otherwise enjoy a lifestyle of equality in the USA are far from perfect, they dramatically exceed anything imagined in developing nations. Practices and resources elsewhere in the world are often miserable at best. With your help we can go a long way toward addressing and correcting these existing realities. We have a pledge and commitment of support from interested individuals, organizations and Government in Turkey to provide transportation, lodging and meals to return our team of nine Blind Corps volunteer professionals to lead a two-week training and outreach program.
Additional partnership is needed to supply the necessary tools and equipment to outfit our trainees properly. Examples of materials we will need would include white canes, Braille writing and marking materials, sewing and cooking equipment, Braille compasses, and any functional used technology.
Your help is especially needed to assist with the acquisition of this and other material requirements. Finally, cash contributions to acquire the foregoing, as well as items that must be purchased in Turkey, are of course vital to the Project's success.
Please accept our deepest thanks and gratitude for your kind generosity and consideration in this matter. We assure you that your gift will be put to the greatest use and service on behalf of the blind of Turkey. Please feel free to request a more detailed proposal for our project.
Blind Corps is a tax deductible non-profit corporation. For more information please visit our website atwww.blindcorps.org.
Respectfully,
Fatos Floyd, Vice President
Blind Corps
I think this is a great idea, and I hope it works out for them. I love the idea of teaching the methods to people who are from there so that they may continue the legacy. It's also encouraging that the vice-president is from there, so she will know what would be considered acceptable and what would be thought of as pushing values on people to which they may not be receptive. I really hope that the group can carry it out. If they can, it will mean a lot, possibly inspiring others to do similar things in other countries. India and Pakistan spring to mind.
Honey. I'm Home!
Good Evening,
So I'm back from a nice little period of relaxation at the family cottage. Pretty much my favourite place on earth. At the moment I am draining the alcohol from my liver and trying to keep myself from boiling over due to the annoyance of the sunburns I seem to have acquired! What a great few days! I'm home for about 2 and a half days before I head back on up there for Labour Day - the last long weekend of the summer. Should be another gong show.
So how's everone been, here? Good? I hope so. What you been up to? You look well, anyway. (not you Steve)
18 medals for Canada at the Olympics. Our highest total in 12 years and third highest total ever. I'd like to say that that should shut up the people who were complaining during the first week.... but I think we all know better than to think everyone will be satisfied. Life's just not any fun unless you have something to bitch about, I guess.
Um... I'm sure everyone knows by now... but just in case... Don't eat any Maple Leaf meats. I'm not gonna get in to a big thing about it... Just don't. (except you Steve)
The Jays somehow find a way to lose a series against Boston that theys imply had to win, and yet somehow have have a monster game where they absolutely destroy the opposition pitching. A little consistancy this year would have been great - good or bad. If it had been good then we'd be in the race and I'd be happy - if it had been bad I could have stopped caring a month ago like I normally can. Oh well.
At least I have the "headed for last place" Leafs and the 3 and 5 Argos to get behind in the next little while. Gonna be a tough autumn.
Have a good night, kids.
So I'm back from a nice little period of relaxation at the family cottage. Pretty much my favourite place on earth. At the moment I am draining the alcohol from my liver and trying to keep myself from boiling over due to the annoyance of the sunburns I seem to have acquired! What a great few days! I'm home for about 2 and a half days before I head back on up there for Labour Day - the last long weekend of the summer. Should be another gong show.
So how's everone been, here? Good? I hope so. What you been up to? You look well, anyway. (not you Steve)
18 medals for Canada at the Olympics. Our highest total in 12 years and third highest total ever. I'd like to say that that should shut up the people who were complaining during the first week.... but I think we all know better than to think everyone will be satisfied. Life's just not any fun unless you have something to bitch about, I guess.
Um... I'm sure everyone knows by now... but just in case... Don't eat any Maple Leaf meats. I'm not gonna get in to a big thing about it... Just don't. (except you Steve)
The Jays somehow find a way to lose a series against Boston that theys imply had to win, and yet somehow have have a monster game where they absolutely destroy the opposition pitching. A little consistancy this year would have been great - good or bad. If it had been good then we'd be in the race and I'd be happy - if it had been bad I could have stopped caring a month ago like I normally can. Oh well.
At least I have the "headed for last place" Leafs and the 3 and 5 Argos to get behind in the next little while. Gonna be a tough autumn.
Have a good night, kids.
Somebody Left His Brain In The Night Deposit Slot
If you show up at a bank's night deposit slot, and it has an "out of order" sign posted over it and two dudes who look like security guards standing beside it, who claim that if you give your money to them, they'll deposit it in the morning, do you believe them? If you do, you're a dumbass, and you can kiss your money goodbye.
Come on. If they have to deposit the money in the morning, why don't you come back and deposit it in the morning? The scary part is the dude who called the police to report that, woe is me, his money didn't get deposited, owned a business. They didn't say what kind, nor did they reveal his name, which is probably, well, a saving grace for his business.
This rivals that story steve talked about earlier where some dude withdrew 7000 bucks and let some other strange dude carry it around a Mcdonalds as a sign of trust. Yeah, ok.
Come on. If they have to deposit the money in the morning, why don't you come back and deposit it in the morning? The scary part is the dude who called the police to report that, woe is me, his money didn't get deposited, owned a business. They didn't say what kind, nor did they reveal his name, which is probably, well, a saving grace for his business.
This rivals that story steve talked about earlier where some dude withdrew 7000 bucks and let some other strange dude carry it around a Mcdonalds as a sign of trust. Yeah, ok.
Eat Your Vegetables, Or I'll Abandon You At A Hospital!
Jesus! If you're a kid in Nebraska, be very very good. Be good when you're with your parents, your babysitter, your teachers, anyone who's taking care of you, because if you piss just one of them off, they can legally surrender you to the state at a hospital. Yup, they can just say they can't take it anymore and drop you off. Apparently, Nebraska is the last state to have a Safe Haven Law, but they went an extra few miles, since most Safe Haven laws only apply to parents abandoning newborns. But in Nebraska, anyone can drop off any minor, which goes all the way up to 19 years of age. The senator who pushed for the law says he only intended for it to apply up to age 14, but still, that's nuts!
This law is only a month old. Hopefully it gets drastically changed really soon. Otherwise, there may be a lot of lawsuits from parents whose kids were handed over to the state by the babysitter who couldn't get them to go to bed, and there may be a lot of teenagers up for adoption after they took dad's car for one too many joy rides.
This law is only a month old. Hopefully it gets drastically changed really soon. Otherwise, there may be a lot of lawsuits from parents whose kids were handed over to the state by the babysitter who couldn't get them to go to bed, and there may be a lot of teenagers up for adoption after they took dad's car for one too many joy rides.
Monday, August 25, 2008
I Saw The Error-Laiden Sign
It's good to see someone standing up for the English language. It just sucks that it's going to be called a crime. I mean, it has to be, because the guy altered a public sign. But the sign was wrong! Come on! "Emense"? That isn't even a word!
If there was a way to harness their power, we might not be so bombarded by horrible grammer and spelling errors. I know what to do. Set them loose on The Guelph Mercury! The world would be better. At least, kids would have a hope of learning how to write properly!
If there was a way to harness their power, we might not be so bombarded by horrible grammer and spelling errors. I know what to do. Set them loose on The Guelph Mercury! The world would be better. At least, kids would have a hope of learning how to write properly!
You Think That's An Even Trade?
Judging by this story, if you're a woman, don't live on, or walk down, Old 41 Road in Bonita Springs. You might get asked for sex. I mean, an undercover deputy could walk around wearing shorts, a shirt and flip-flops and bag 10 men who offered her dough for sex. But the most interesting offer, I think, was made by a man who has seven aliases, and offered her two cents, a bicycle, and a lighter. Um, what? I wonder what he offered up for bail, maybe some screws, some paper clips, and a CD?
Great Coping Skills, Dude
I shouldn't have read this story today.
I am suddenly filled with rage at the father. So you couldn't save your wife. That's sad. But what the fuck kind of shape do you think you're leaving your son in by telling him you're going to shoot yourself, threatening to shoot anyone who came near you and then doing it while he runs to get some help? Just what the hell is that? John C. Clark, I know you will never read this, but maybe you should have cut back on the booze. Then maybe you wouldn't act like such a fool and leave such a crater in your absence.
I am suddenly filled with rage at the father. So you couldn't save your wife. That's sad. But what the fuck kind of shape do you think you're leaving your son in by telling him you're going to shoot yourself, threatening to shoot anyone who came near you and then doing it while he runs to get some help? Just what the hell is that? John C. Clark, I know you will never read this, but maybe you should have cut back on the booze. Then maybe you wouldn't act like such a fool and leave such a crater in your absence.
Woohoo! Drug Money!
Ok, this ranks right up there with giving doctors survival bonuses. Who thought giving kids up to 100 bucks a month for good behaviour would be a good idea?
I know when I was growing up, the small rewards I got for being good, i.e. praise from a teacher or trust to do more stuff, were enough to continue being good. If I was getting bribed to behave, I'd just fool them into thinking I was good so I'd get the money, but be a little shithead where they didn't see it. This plan isn't going to set positive patterns for high school. It's just going to make kids want the money and wonder where it went when they leave this cute little program.
I know when I was growing up, the small rewards I got for being good, i.e. praise from a teacher or trust to do more stuff, were enough to continue being good. If I was getting bribed to behave, I'd just fool them into thinking I was good so I'd get the money, but be a little shithead where they didn't see it. This plan isn't going to set positive patterns for high school. It's just going to make kids want the money and wonder where it went when they leave this cute little program.
I'm Not Jazzed About This
The idea that Air Canada's Jazz Airlines has decided to stop carrying life jackets to save money scares me. Sure, they still have the seat cushions that can be used as flotation devices, but how long can you hold onto one of those if you're in cold water? And how many people will be killed in the mayhem of everybody standing in the aisles of airplanes trying to remove their seat cushions during a crash?
What scares me even more is I think I'm riding on an Air Canada Jazz plane for part of my journey to Portland for the GDB reunion in September. I can't check, because my ETicket is on my comatose computer. I know it's only from Vancouver to Portland that I think I'm riding Jazz, so I don't think I have to worry about being over water, but eek. Flying is really starting to profoundly suck.
What scares me even more is I think I'm riding on an Air Canada Jazz plane for part of my journey to Portland for the GDB reunion in September. I can't check, because my ETicket is on my comatose computer. I know it's only from Vancouver to Portland that I think I'm riding Jazz, so I don't think I have to worry about being over water, but eek. Flying is really starting to profoundly suck.
Only Got A 3 Inch Tool
I'm not so sure that this would be my first line of defense if I werethis guy, but hey, I guess you've gotta do whatever you think's gonna get you off...so to speak.
A Texas doctor on trial for indecent exposure claimed that he couldn't be guilty of flashing an undercover cop because, well, there would be no point in doing so when you've only got a 2.8 inch penis that nobody would be able to see. The argument failed and he was found guilty, but there's no word on whether he'll be spending any time in the pokey. Come on, you would have made that joke too and you know it. And yes, the fact that the man's lawyers were named Dick and Neal is duely noted.
So now it's time to take an informal 2.8 inch poll. What's worse: being found guilty and having a flashing conviction on your public record, or having it be known as a matter of public record that you have admitted to needing a microscope every time you need to take a piss? I think I'm leaning towards being guilty because that kind of thing can really mess up your life, but on the other hand I'm sure the jokes and stares would get old really fast.
A Texas doctor on trial for indecent exposure claimed that he couldn't be guilty of flashing an undercover cop because, well, there would be no point in doing so when you've only got a 2.8 inch penis that nobody would be able to see. The argument failed and he was found guilty, but there's no word on whether he'll be spending any time in the pokey. Come on, you would have made that joke too and you know it. And yes, the fact that the man's lawyers were named Dick and Neal is duely noted.
So now it's time to take an informal 2.8 inch poll. What's worse: being found guilty and having a flashing conviction on your public record, or having it be known as a matter of public record that you have admitted to needing a microscope every time you need to take a piss? I think I'm leaning towards being guilty because that kind of thing can really mess up your life, but on the other hand I'm sure the jokes and stares would get old really fast.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Amazing Grace
I feel like I've just been given a slap in the face by fate for entitling this post the way I did.
I just found out this morning that my grandma passed away. She'd been sick for a while, and I didn't know how much longer she'd make it. But it still doesn't make the freight train of news any lighter.
God she was a tough woman. For the past four years, she'd been battling with various ailments, and she always bounced back. I joked that she was a Timex watch. She'd take a licking and keep on ticking.
I know she went quickly and I guess she went peacefully. She was all alone in the hospital when she passed away. She sent her husband out to get himself something to eat, and during that brief time when he wasn't there, she went. Mom and dad just got there after, and sat with her a while. they said it looked like she was just sleeping. I hope it was peaceful. She didn't need to suffer anymore.
This whole thing makes me think of a funny thought I had when I was a kid. Her name is Grace. So, whenever I'd here the song "Amazing Grace," I thought they'd made the song for my grandma. Yep, I'm a loser kid. I'd sit there and think somebody really liked Grandma and wonder who it was and what Grandma had done to make them so happy.
When we were kids, she was always around. She lived right next door to mom and dad, so she'd often babysit. She'd invite us over for supper and ask us how we were doing. She usually had something cute or funny to say. She just had her 86th birthday, so I guess she had a pretty good life. I called her on her birthday, and we had a good conversation. She asked me if anyone had figured out how smart I was, i.e. had I found a job. I said no, and she said, "Then I'll have to give some people a kick in the pants." Man that made me laugh. I'm glad I called her on her birthday, even if I couldn't make it home. Things aren't going to be the same for a long time.
I don't feel like I'm doing a good job of this at all. Maybe I should stop before I just start babbling without any focus. Goodbye Grandma, we'll miss you. I know you didn't want us to be sad, but we'll still all miss you.
I just found out this morning that my grandma passed away. She'd been sick for a while, and I didn't know how much longer she'd make it. But it still doesn't make the freight train of news any lighter.
God she was a tough woman. For the past four years, she'd been battling with various ailments, and she always bounced back. I joked that she was a Timex watch. She'd take a licking and keep on ticking.
I know she went quickly and I guess she went peacefully. She was all alone in the hospital when she passed away. She sent her husband out to get himself something to eat, and during that brief time when he wasn't there, she went. Mom and dad just got there after, and sat with her a while. they said it looked like she was just sleeping. I hope it was peaceful. She didn't need to suffer anymore.
This whole thing makes me think of a funny thought I had when I was a kid. Her name is Grace. So, whenever I'd here the song "Amazing Grace," I thought they'd made the song for my grandma. Yep, I'm a loser kid. I'd sit there and think somebody really liked Grandma and wonder who it was and what Grandma had done to make them so happy.
When we were kids, she was always around. She lived right next door to mom and dad, so she'd often babysit. She'd invite us over for supper and ask us how we were doing. She usually had something cute or funny to say. She just had her 86th birthday, so I guess she had a pretty good life. I called her on her birthday, and we had a good conversation. She asked me if anyone had figured out how smart I was, i.e. had I found a job. I said no, and she said, "Then I'll have to give some people a kick in the pants." Man that made me laugh. I'm glad I called her on her birthday, even if I couldn't make it home. Things aren't going to be the same for a long time.
I don't feel like I'm doing a good job of this at all. Maybe I should stop before I just start babbling without any focus. Goodbye Grandma, we'll miss you. I know you didn't want us to be sad, but we'll still all miss you.
Friday, August 22, 2008
A Dangerous Dog Toy
I just read a horrible story on this blog about a dangerous dog toy. If you really want your heart ripped out, watch the videos in this post. What a horrible accident.
I guess Four Paws Inc. has been at this for a few years. They have a dog ball called the pimple ball with bell. (Item #20227-001, UPC Code 0 4566320227 9). It has a hole in each end, supposedly to prevent the creation of a vacuum while the dog is chewing on the toy. But they haven't opened up the one hole fully, so some dogs get their tongue sucked into the ball, and some dogs have had to have their tongues amputated! Oh what a horrible thing to have happen!
They apparently apologized to this guy and explained the problem and said they didn't know about this before, but the guy just found out that they have known for three years.
So for anyone out there with a dog, just a little warning about that toy. And it'll be intresting to see how this story plays out.
I guess Four Paws Inc. has been at this for a few years. They have a dog ball called the pimple ball with bell. (Item #20227-001, UPC Code 0 4566320227 9). It has a hole in each end, supposedly to prevent the creation of a vacuum while the dog is chewing on the toy. But they haven't opened up the one hole fully, so some dogs get their tongue sucked into the ball, and some dogs have had to have their tongues amputated! Oh what a horrible thing to have happen!
They apparently apologized to this guy and explained the problem and said they didn't know about this before, but the guy just found out that they have known for three years.
So for anyone out there with a dog, just a little warning about that toy. And it'll be intresting to see how this story plays out.
Goodbye, Chicken!
Here's an event I'm glad I never saw when I was in Quebec. In the town of Thetford mines, there has been an event for the past few labour days where the organizers draw lines on the ground, chop a chicken's head off, and people make bets on where the body's final resting place will be. Ok, why don't we start bear-baiting while we're at it? Of course, PETA is protesting.
Now, if they're going to protest something, at least I understand this one just because it seems pretty evil to enjoy an animal's last moments. But the guy who started this whole thing makes a good point. If you eat meat, it doesn't appear out of the blue. The animal has to be killed by someone.
Just one thing, PETA, While you're protesting, for the love of Pete, please don't compare the chicken to Tim McLean, would ya?
Now, if they're going to protest something, at least I understand this one just because it seems pretty evil to enjoy an animal's last moments. But the guy who started this whole thing makes a good point. If you eat meat, it doesn't appear out of the blue. The animal has to be killed by someone.
Just one thing, PETA, While you're protesting, for the love of Pete, please don't compare the chicken to Tim McLean, would ya?
Thoughts On "The First Lady Of The Seeing Eye"
Well, Jill is going to smile because I finished the second book she recommended, "The First Lady of the Seeing Eye". Sadly, there was no mention of Juno, not by name anyway. The empty harness was mentioned, but that's it. But I did learn a lot of stuff I never intended to.
First off, good lord I'm glad I didn't grow up in that era. I don't think I would have survived it. I would have gotten so enraged I probably would have given myself an aneurysm. I can't even imagine not having proper mobility training. It seemed they handed out white canes with no teaching. It was just like, "here. Put this stick in front of you and maybe you won't hit stuff." So at the time, there were a bunch of blinks shuffling about, falling down holes, and not crossing streets on their own. They had to be led around by the nose anyway, only now they also held a stick.
I know one reason they didn't cross streets on their own back then was, gasp, the traffic light wasn't invented or broadly used yet! No goddamn wonder they didn't try and cross streets. it would have been pure mayhem! I mean, I know there weren't as many motorized vehicles, but I think horses' hoofs would have been just as deadly. I can't imagine standing at a street corner with my cane and going "tap tap tap" waiting for some kind soul to lead me like a sheep across the street. Even in the 1940's, that was still going on. There is one plaza where I wait for assistance because it's a goddamn zoo, and now, every time I stand there, all I can think is "tap tap tap."
Back then, the guide dog really increased someone's freedom exponentially. I mean, I'm not going to downplay the feeling of freedom I have when walking with the Trixter because I can move so much faster and more fluidly, but before her, I could still get around. It was just slower and less graceful. But back then, if you didn't have a dog, your fate was to be treated like "an American express parcel" as Morris Frank put it. You would be taken somewhere and then left there until you could be picked up. You would have to hire people to lead you somewhere, and if they decided to screw you over, well, that was that. You were helpless.
Does anyone remember those days? Did blind people really stand at street corners tapping their canes and begging to be helped across the street? Was that a common practice? I have to wonder if it was, since two different books mentioned it.
I think guide dog handlers, especially in the states, owe a lot to Morris Frank and Dorothy Eustis. She had the realization that guide dogs would be useless if they couldn't go into any buildings or ride buses, and he dit a whole hell of a lot of advocacy to get access for guide dogs. He had to fight a lot of battles that we just don't have to fight now, and be the first one to educate people about all things guide dog. I mean, we all have to do a lot of educating, but people really had noone else to ask back then. It was him, spending years of his life on the road, speaking all over the country, who explained things for the first time.
Not only that, but the school showed a lot of other schools how to do this guide dog training thing over here. Morris Frank was their Chuck, too! Jesus, I wish I had half his ambition.
Some of the stuff he said really seemed overdone, though. Maybe it's the different temperament, lab vs. German shepherd, but I would never get off a ship with Trixie after traveling from Switzerland to the U.S. when we were a new team and then expect her to successfully cross an insane highway-like street with seemingly no traffic control. Trixie's awesome, but she's not half the trooper that he makes Buddy out to be. I wasn't there, so I can't say if he added in some hearts and flowers to help the school out, but it sure makes me wonder.
One thing I noticed was that in his time, the dogs were trained to fetch things that we dropped. I know GDB used to do that long before my time, but I guess it was phased out. I think old Trix would try and take advantage of that, bending over to fetch...some crumbs of food for herself.
It was definitely an interesting read, and made me realize how lucky we are these days with regard to access and the guide woof. I would never imagine leaving Trixie in the baggage car of a train. I know if I read this book before Trixie, I wouldn't have gotten nearly as much out of it as I do now. It's definitely interesting to get a historical perspective.
First off, good lord I'm glad I didn't grow up in that era. I don't think I would have survived it. I would have gotten so enraged I probably would have given myself an aneurysm. I can't even imagine not having proper mobility training. It seemed they handed out white canes with no teaching. It was just like, "here. Put this stick in front of you and maybe you won't hit stuff." So at the time, there were a bunch of blinks shuffling about, falling down holes, and not crossing streets on their own. They had to be led around by the nose anyway, only now they also held a stick.
I know one reason they didn't cross streets on their own back then was, gasp, the traffic light wasn't invented or broadly used yet! No goddamn wonder they didn't try and cross streets. it would have been pure mayhem! I mean, I know there weren't as many motorized vehicles, but I think horses' hoofs would have been just as deadly. I can't imagine standing at a street corner with my cane and going "tap tap tap" waiting for some kind soul to lead me like a sheep across the street. Even in the 1940's, that was still going on. There is one plaza where I wait for assistance because it's a goddamn zoo, and now, every time I stand there, all I can think is "tap tap tap."
Back then, the guide dog really increased someone's freedom exponentially. I mean, I'm not going to downplay the feeling of freedom I have when walking with the Trixter because I can move so much faster and more fluidly, but before her, I could still get around. It was just slower and less graceful. But back then, if you didn't have a dog, your fate was to be treated like "an American express parcel" as Morris Frank put it. You would be taken somewhere and then left there until you could be picked up. You would have to hire people to lead you somewhere, and if they decided to screw you over, well, that was that. You were helpless.
Does anyone remember those days? Did blind people really stand at street corners tapping their canes and begging to be helped across the street? Was that a common practice? I have to wonder if it was, since two different books mentioned it.
I think guide dog handlers, especially in the states, owe a lot to Morris Frank and Dorothy Eustis. She had the realization that guide dogs would be useless if they couldn't go into any buildings or ride buses, and he dit a whole hell of a lot of advocacy to get access for guide dogs. He had to fight a lot of battles that we just don't have to fight now, and be the first one to educate people about all things guide dog. I mean, we all have to do a lot of educating, but people really had noone else to ask back then. It was him, spending years of his life on the road, speaking all over the country, who explained things for the first time.
Not only that, but the school showed a lot of other schools how to do this guide dog training thing over here. Morris Frank was their Chuck, too! Jesus, I wish I had half his ambition.
Some of the stuff he said really seemed overdone, though. Maybe it's the different temperament, lab vs. German shepherd, but I would never get off a ship with Trixie after traveling from Switzerland to the U.S. when we were a new team and then expect her to successfully cross an insane highway-like street with seemingly no traffic control. Trixie's awesome, but she's not half the trooper that he makes Buddy out to be. I wasn't there, so I can't say if he added in some hearts and flowers to help the school out, but it sure makes me wonder.
One thing I noticed was that in his time, the dogs were trained to fetch things that we dropped. I know GDB used to do that long before my time, but I guess it was phased out. I think old Trix would try and take advantage of that, bending over to fetch...some crumbs of food for herself.
It was definitely an interesting read, and made me realize how lucky we are these days with regard to access and the guide woof. I would never imagine leaving Trixie in the baggage car of a train. I know if I read this book before Trixie, I wouldn't have gotten nearly as much out of it as I do now. It's definitely interesting to get a historical perspective.
More Ways To Help Holly
Remember Holly? Well, she's still struggling along, and she's also moved. I hope her new community is a little more helpful.
At any rate, she now has a Cafepress store where you can buy everything from bumper stickers to mugs to mouse pads to hoodies. I'm not a big fan of how much money Cafe Press takes from each purchase, but the more of us buy, the more money she'll get. I might get a travel mug. So there ya go. If you like the design, help her out.
At any rate, she now has a Cafepress store where you can buy everything from bumper stickers to mugs to mouse pads to hoodies. I'm not a big fan of how much money Cafe Press takes from each purchase, but the more of us buy, the more money she'll get. I might get a travel mug. So there ya go. If you like the design, help her out.
Isn't This A Little Extreme?
This is insane. First we have fire marshals cuffing people for swearing in Wal-Mart, and now people are being taken downtown for overdue library books. What's going on?
Blackened And Blue Angel
Thursday, August 21, 2008
R.I.P. My Stupid Computer
Well, it's official. my limping computer can't limp anymore. It is a large paperweight. Today, it shut off three times while I was trying to click links. The third time, it would not turn on. the other times, I had to reach back and hit the direct power switch that supplied the juice to the power supply to get it to remember how to turn on. The last time that happened, the bios forgot everything it had remembered and I had to press f1 to continue. After that, it shut off for the last time.
I made the mistake of going to get laundry, and when I came back, my computer would only power up for about half a second. Then it would power back off again. I think it's official. It's time to say it's gone. I was hoping it would wait until June of 09 when I came due for ADP, but that's not to be.
I should have known it wasn't going to make it. Let's go through the times I have cursed this beast from hell. I had it less than a month when the scanner broke, and the fan whined like a jet engine, sending it back to the repair shop, such as it was. Four months later, it blew a regulator. Do four-month old computers blow regulators? Well, mine did. It dragged its arse along for a while, until it consumed about 12 hours' worth of Steve's email, and I noticed other files going missing. I dragged my feet until I finally took it to a repair-shop. For a while, I thought it was healed! It seemed to be all good...until...August of that year when I had to take it to another shop, which profoundly sucked. Amazingly, the stupid thing hummed along until February of 2008 when I got it new ram. Again, I thought it was cured. Not so much. All of this was for nothing. Now, it appears to be dead, and Steve and Trixie's second lover drank a toast to the now deceased computer.
Anyway, now that everyone's thoroughly bored, my only point I had was posts may be a little thin since we'll be sharing one computer. Steve, le'ts hope I don't manage to break yours too, like what happened to you when you were using my old, good computer while yours was dead.
I made the mistake of going to get laundry, and when I came back, my computer would only power up for about half a second. Then it would power back off again. I think it's official. It's time to say it's gone. I was hoping it would wait until June of 09 when I came due for ADP, but that's not to be.
I should have known it wasn't going to make it. Let's go through the times I have cursed this beast from hell. I had it less than a month when the scanner broke, and the fan whined like a jet engine, sending it back to the repair shop, such as it was. Four months later, it blew a regulator. Do four-month old computers blow regulators? Well, mine did. It dragged its arse along for a while, until it consumed about 12 hours' worth of Steve's email, and I noticed other files going missing. I dragged my feet until I finally took it to a repair-shop. For a while, I thought it was healed! It seemed to be all good...until...August of that year when I had to take it to another shop, which profoundly sucked. Amazingly, the stupid thing hummed along until February of 2008 when I got it new ram. Again, I thought it was cured. Not so much. All of this was for nothing. Now, it appears to be dead, and Steve and Trixie's second lover drank a toast to the now deceased computer.
Anyway, now that everyone's thoroughly bored, my only point I had was posts may be a little thin since we'll be sharing one computer. Steve, le'ts hope I don't manage to break yours too, like what happened to you when you were using my old, good computer while yours was dead.
Brenden The Giant
Wow. You know how I complain about being too short? Here's a kid who is too tall. I mean way, way, way the hell too tall. This 12-year-old kid is over seven feet tall! He doesn't fit in a SUV. And he's the only kid like this. His genes decided to play some flip-flops and because the 12th pair of chromosomes is all messed up, he's growing out of control.
Hey Brenden Adams, can our pituitaries have a chat? Yours can tell mine how to get off its behind, even though I wouldn't grow anyway, and mine can tell yours to slow down a little.
Hey Brenden Adams, can our pituitaries have a chat? Yours can tell mine how to get off its behind, even though I wouldn't grow anyway, and mine can tell yours to slow down a little.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
That's A Good Noise!
The thing I have to say about this post is woohoo! I would like to say it as loudly as possible.
Some true geniuses over at Lotus Engineering have come up with a brilliant solution to the problem of hybrid cars being silent pedestrian-pulverizers. They want to install a waterproof speaker on the outside of the front of the car. When the car is running on electric mode, it will emit a sound that sounds like, well, a car, and will change it based on the car's speed of movement!
Yea! Simplicity! That rocks! I am so thankful that there are wonderful people out there who have brains that are still working.
In case any blinks want to see the video referenced in the story, it is actually here.
Finally! Something to scream about in a happy way!
Some true geniuses over at Lotus Engineering have come up with a brilliant solution to the problem of hybrid cars being silent pedestrian-pulverizers. They want to install a waterproof speaker on the outside of the front of the car. When the car is running on electric mode, it will emit a sound that sounds like, well, a car, and will change it based on the car's speed of movement!
Yea! Simplicity! That rocks! I am so thankful that there are wonderful people out there who have brains that are still working.
In case any blinks want to see the video referenced in the story, it is actually here.
Finally! Something to scream about in a happy way!
I Didn't Want That Kind Of Travel Bug
Last night, I talked to another dude who does geocaching, and somehow we got talking about my theories on geocaching gone bad. He, like W.S.g, says he's never found anything malicious in a geocache. Wow! I'm truly amazed! Maybe there's hope for us after all. But he did tell me a gross story that happened to him. he said he has opened geocaches where people have left food in them. Now the food has gone bad, and the box has become an ant colony. *gag!*
Man, some people just don't think. I'm sure they mean well. but...dude, there's a reason why we keep food in a fridge. If it's just hangin' out there, it attracts bugs.
Man, some people just don't think. I'm sure they mean well. but...dude, there's a reason why we keep food in a fridge. If it's just hangin' out there, it attracts bugs.
Cleanup In Aisle 5
The funniest thing aboutthisisn't that somebody thinks Northern Peaks is a good name for a porn channel or even that part of the draw is that much of it's programming will be made in Canada thus ensuring that for the first time ever somebody will actually watch a Canadian movie. Oh no. What makes this so great is this sentence:
The he in question is station president Shaun Donnelly, a man I never want to go shopping with.
Seriously, where did that line come from? Not sure about the rest of you, but when I'm standing in the produce section picking out cucumbers, the last thing I want is some semi-famous woman I jerked off to the night before standing next to me, looking from me to the shelf, me to the shelf, sizing both of us up. I know she's thinking "ok, I could take him home and fuck him, but he's nowhere near as big as these things and I don't have to buy them dinner first. Hell, they are dinner."
And let's say you can get over that part. What kind of conversation can you possibly strike up with this woman.
"You know, I really enjoy your work. In fact I enjoy it so much that I think you should pay for part of my wrist surgery. Oh by the way, you dropped your uterus."
I can't imagine that being the stuff of anybody's fantasy life, at least not anybody who gets out of the house much. Then again, the more time somebody spends inside thinking about this kind of thing the more likely that person is to order the station, so maybe he's on to something after all and the crazy one is me.
"Canadians love watching Canadian adult content," he sad. "I think it's the fantasy of it that it's somebody you can actually run into in the grocery store."
The he in question is station president Shaun Donnelly, a man I never want to go shopping with.
Seriously, where did that line come from? Not sure about the rest of you, but when I'm standing in the produce section picking out cucumbers, the last thing I want is some semi-famous woman I jerked off to the night before standing next to me, looking from me to the shelf, me to the shelf, sizing both of us up. I know she's thinking "ok, I could take him home and fuck him, but he's nowhere near as big as these things and I don't have to buy them dinner first. Hell, they are dinner."
And let's say you can get over that part. What kind of conversation can you possibly strike up with this woman.
"You know, I really enjoy your work. In fact I enjoy it so much that I think you should pay for part of my wrist surgery. Oh by the way, you dropped your uterus."
I can't imagine that being the stuff of anybody's fantasy life, at least not anybody who gets out of the house much. Then again, the more time somebody spends inside thinking about this kind of thing the more likely that person is to order the station, so maybe he's on to something after all and the crazy one is me.
Where's The Crime Here?
Charlotte, NC
A 46-year-old woman said she was assaulted by a family member for moving furniture in his house without permission. The woman was a guest in her relative’s home and took it upon herself to do a little remodeling. When her relative saw what she did, he got angry and tried to push a china cabinet on her.
I would like to publicly denounce any police involvement that has already taken place or may occur at some point in this case. Speaking as a blind person with experience with unwanted redecorating, I can tell you that this person showed unbelievable restraint and should be commended, not arrested.
Original story.
How The Internet Works
I feel I need to explain this to Shakespear Feyissa, because he doesn't seem to have clue 1 about online culture. He also seems to have missed out on clue 1 when it comes to journalism ethics, but his being a lawyer makes it easier for me to understand how anything related to ethics probably went right over his head.
His full story ishere,and you can see the old article that's got him so upsethereorherein case he somehow manages to strong-arm the newspaper into taking it down.
Which brings me to how the internet works. When are people going to realize that trying to get something taken offline accomplishes nothing more than ensuring that whatever you don't want people to see will be plastered all over the web for the rest of time? It seems like such a simple concept, one that applied even before there was an internet. When you were a kid and mom and dad told you not to go into a certain drawer or to stay out of the cookie jar, what was the first thing you did when you thought you wouldn't get caught? If you were normal, you tried to get into the drawer or nip a cookie. If something is forbidden, it's tempting. That's simple human nature. And when one person who feels that he's on the wrong end of some news coverage tries to dictate to the media and the public what's forbidden, it's online human nature to put that person in his place. It's also online human nature for millions of people who didn't know your name before to learn all about it and make sure that everybody else can too. In short, if that article in the Falcon pisses you off, just think about how you're going to feel when countless blogs and news sites pick it up. Not only are you going to look like somebody who makes outlandish statements about discrimination, but you're also going to look like the whiney crazy guy who thinks he has more power than everybody else's right to a free press and historical facts.
What Shakespear Feyissa needs to understand is that what he's asking for is ridiculous. Telling a newspaper to remove a story and pretend something didn't happen is like some German guy asking the HistoryChannel to edit Hitler out of all of the war footage. Nobody would stand for it, nor should they. And they aren't going to stand for this either, but I'm sure he's already finding that out the hard way.
His full story ishere,and you can see the old article that's got him so upsethereorherein case he somehow manages to strong-arm the newspaper into taking it down.
Which brings me to how the internet works. When are people going to realize that trying to get something taken offline accomplishes nothing more than ensuring that whatever you don't want people to see will be plastered all over the web for the rest of time? It seems like such a simple concept, one that applied even before there was an internet. When you were a kid and mom and dad told you not to go into a certain drawer or to stay out of the cookie jar, what was the first thing you did when you thought you wouldn't get caught? If you were normal, you tried to get into the drawer or nip a cookie. If something is forbidden, it's tempting. That's simple human nature. And when one person who feels that he's on the wrong end of some news coverage tries to dictate to the media and the public what's forbidden, it's online human nature to put that person in his place. It's also online human nature for millions of people who didn't know your name before to learn all about it and make sure that everybody else can too. In short, if that article in the Falcon pisses you off, just think about how you're going to feel when countless blogs and news sites pick it up. Not only are you going to look like somebody who makes outlandish statements about discrimination, but you're also going to look like the whiney crazy guy who thinks he has more power than everybody else's right to a free press and historical facts.
What Shakespear Feyissa needs to understand is that what he's asking for is ridiculous. Telling a newspaper to remove a story and pretend something didn't happen is like some German guy asking the HistoryChannel to edit Hitler out of all of the war footage. Nobody would stand for it, nor should they. And they aren't going to stand for this either, but I'm sure he's already finding that out the hard way.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Now I Know Why They Call It The Loser Cruiser
There's a reason you've always heard of a getaway car and not a getaway bus. Yeah, he didn't even steal a school bus or something. After stealing beer from a convenience store, he waited outside the store at the bus stop for the bus.
Dude, I think you would have been better off using your getaway feet.
Dude, I think you would have been better off using your getaway feet.
The Lights Of The Wrong Birmingham
First we had the mix-up over who Russia is at war with, and now we have something even worse. Can you believe it? Well, I give you a big mistake made by government officials of Birmingham, UK.
They sent out leaflets thanking everyone for doing such a great job in their recycling efforrts. They stamped the words "thank you Birmingham" across a photo of the Birmingham skyline. The problem was the skyline belonged to Birmingham, Alabama. They completely admit the error, and say they picked the wrong photo out of an internet archive.
Ok, I can see one person making that mistake. But I'm sure this booklet had to pass through several hands. You would think one of them would have noticed it before it hit the public.
Even worse, this is the second time the wrong picture has been used.
Yikes.
They sent out leaflets thanking everyone for doing such a great job in their recycling efforrts. They stamped the words "thank you Birmingham" across a photo of the Birmingham skyline. The problem was the skyline belonged to Birmingham, Alabama. They completely admit the error, and say they picked the wrong photo out of an internet archive.
Ok, I can see one person making that mistake. But I'm sure this booklet had to pass through several hands. You would think one of them would have noticed it before it hit the public.
Even worse, this is the second time the wrong picture has been used.
Yikes.
Stand, On The bus Ride To Work, Don't Fall Down
Ok, first we had booklets instructing folks on how to catch a bus. Now that everyone's on the bus, we need posters telling people how to remain standing while the bus moves. Wow. Lots of people get hurt in non-collision-related accidents, apparently because they lose their balance and fall over. Yeah, it sucks standing in a bus...but...signage? We need that?
May I Speak To Stupid, Please?
Wow. I have to hope that this was Christopher Kron's first burglary. That has to be the reason he would
Happy birthday Christopher. I hope you enjoy it in jail.
- ignore a really loud burglar alarm,
- walk towards the cameras while stealing only a bottle of booze,
- answer the phone,
- and when it was the security company, give his real name,
- and when he managed to get away before the police arrived, come back the next day!
Happy birthday Christopher. I hope you enjoy it in jail.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Help Define "Service Animal"
Gees! There's not much time to respond. I just got this email, and the deadline for public comments is Monday! Ok ok ok, up on the blog she goes! I know I'm not American, but plenty of people who read this thing live in the States, so here it is.
Apparently, the definition of service animal under the ADA is up for review. The IAADP is trying to cut back on the number of false service dogs running around, as well as allow for dogs that help people with psychiatric disabilities. They are also trying to eliminate some of the confusion that's happening around some of the wording. There is a long email ahead. If you want to help by making some comments, even if the comments you want to make aren't mentioned in the email, this email gives you all the instructions. I hope this helps someone.
Tired yet? I know I am. But hey, even if people don't agree with all that stuff, at least they can still make their own feelings known. Hopefully this results in clarification, no more pets running around where they shouldn't, and everybody who has legitimate service dogs, whether owner-trained or school-trained, getting the access they deserve.
Apparently, the definition of service animal under the ADA is up for review. The IAADP is trying to cut back on the number of false service dogs running around, as well as allow for dogs that help people with psychiatric disabilities. They are also trying to eliminate some of the confusion that's happening around some of the wording. There is a long email ahead. If you want to help by making some comments, even if the comments you want to make aren't mentioned in the email, this email gives you all the instructions. I hope this helps someone.
Dear friend of the assistance dog movement,
As a spokesperson for the International Association of Assistance Dog Partners, I need your help on a matter of critical importance to the assistance dog movement in the United States.
As you may have read in Partners Forum, for seven years as IAADP’s representative, I lobbied the U.S. Department of Justice with colleagues in the Coalition of Assistance Dog Organizations (CADO), seeking a better definition of a Service Animal. We knew the ADA regulations were up for review. We wanted to end the misinterpretations and abuses of the old service animal definition. We also sought recognition for the existence of service dogs trained to perform tasks to assist people with mental as well as physical disabilities.
This summer the Department of Justice proposed their new definition and is seeking input from the public. Sources at the DOJ tell us this Public Comment phase is a crucial element in developing the Final Definition.
It is “a Numbers Game.” We need to show officials at the DOJ through public comments that MORE people are in favor of what we want, as opposed to what someone else may want.
After reading all the comments submitted to date, I realized we urgently need favorable comments on two issues in particular, to offset the comments of people who don’t want any changes to the old definition. The first and most important issue is our recommendation to eliminate the phrase “do work” and continue to uphold “task training” as the defining factor in qualifying an animal to be a service animal, something the DOJ has been doing since 2002 in their highly publicized interpretative guidance document, the “ADA Business Brief : Service Animals.” The second issue is our recommendation to remove the task example “minimal protection” from the definition due to the problems it has caused. We think fifteen years of misinterpretation and abuses due to the confusion over these phrases is enough! We only have a few more days till the Public Comment period closes on August 18th. You can do a lot to help IAADP turn the tide. It will only take you a few minutes.
If you want to submit a comment with minimal effort, please look at the Sample Comment in this email below my signature. You can just copy and paste it into the General Comment box if desired, or submit whatever part of it you feel you can support.
However, it would carry a lot more weight if you personalize your comment. Please consider adding a sentence or two at the beginning so the DOJ knows it comes from an assistance dog partner or family member or friend of someone with a task trained guide, hearing or service dog. ( Example: I have a service dog who has greatly improved my quality of life by providing balance support and performing other trained tasks to assist me in a medical crisis.)
(Example: I’m the mother of a boy with autism whose specially trained service dog performs some wonderful tasks to increase his safety and independence.)
Instructions on how to submit your Public comment follows the Sample Comment. It is very easy to do!
Those who prefer to have more information on the subject before commenting are welcome to go to
www.iaadp.org
and go to the Emergency Call to Action box and read all the information I prepared for visitors.
If you missed IAADP's first announcement of the public comment period a few weeks ago and want to read the new proposed Service Animal definition and IAADP's public comment or wish to read CADO's public comment, I will copy them into this email at the very bottom.
It would mean the world to IAADP and the assistance dog movement if you'd take a few minutes to submit a public comment before it is too late. If you did not comment on these two subjects before, you can submit another comment.
most appreciatively,
Joan
IAADP chairperson / editor
SAMPLE COMMENT
I'm writing to let you know that I support IAADP and CADO's position on the following:
Please eliminate the ambiguous phrase "DO WORK" from the new Definition to prevent years of misinterpretation. Continue to educate the public that the legal difference between a pet and a service animal is that service animals must be individually trained to perform tasks for the benefit of a disabled individual, as you have been doing in the “ADA Business Brief :Service Animals” since 2002.
In response to Question Nine, please delete the word "protection" from the definition, as the word means "aggression training" in the dog training industry. Fifteen years of misinterpretation of the task example "minimal protection" should be enough.
The Department's effort to clarify the ADA grants public access to anyone with a disabling mental or physical impairment working with a service animal having the required training is greatly appreciated.
TO SUBMIT YOUR COMMENT TO THE PUBLIC COMMENT WEBSITE ON THE ADA
1. Click on this Link.
2. Fill out the Form with your name and address.
3. Write your comment in the General Comments Box
4. Scroll to the bottom of the webpage and click on the button that says: NEXT
5. This next page lets you review your comment. If you like it, scroll down and click on SUBMIT
Now you are done!
Your support at this time for our efforts to prevent future misinterpretations of the ADA service animal definition would be a wonderful contribution to the assistance dog movement. Thank you for considering this request.
New Proposed Service Animal Definition
PART 36-NONDISCRIMINATION ON THE BASIS OF DISABILITY BY PUBLIC ACCOMMODATIONS
AND IN COMMERCIAL FACILITIES
Subpart A-General
PROPOSED DEFINITION
Service animal means any dog or other common domestic animal individually trained to do work or perform tasks for the benefit of an individual with a disability, including, but not limited
to, guiding individuals who are blind or have low vision, alerting individuals who are deaf or hard of hearing to the presence of people or sounds, providing minimal protection or rescue work, pulling a wheelchair, fetching items, assisting an individual during a seizure, retrieving medicine or the telephone, providing physical support and assistance with balance and stability to individuals with mobility disabilities, and assisting individuals, including those with cognitive
disabilities, with navigation. The term service animal includes individually trained animals that do work or perform tasks for the benefit of individuals with disabilities, including
psychiatric, cognitive, and mental disabilities. The term service animal does not include wild animals (including nonhuman primates born in captivity), reptiles, rabbits, farm animals (including any breed of horse, miniature horse, pony, pig, or goat), ferrets, amphibians, and rodents. Animals whose sole function is to provide emotional support, comfort, therapy, companionship, therapeutic benefits, or to promote emotional well-being are not service animals.
INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF ASSISTANCE DOG PARTNERS
IAADP's Public Comment on the Department of Justice 2008 NPRM
Re: Revision of the ADA Service Animal Definition
Docket ID: DOJ-CRT-2008-0015
The International Association of Assistance Dog Partners (IAADP) is a cross-disability consumer advocacy organization with more than 2,000 members working with guide, hearing and service dogs. Its mission is to foster the assistance dog movement through education, advocacy and peer support.
We commend the Department of Justice for including in its revised proposed definition of service animal a number of new and
essential elements, particularly emphasis on maintaining control of the service animal in public settings and the requirement of housebreaking. As an organization committed to fostering the assistance dog movement, IAADP appreciates the Department of Justice's attempt to clarify the definition of service animal for the general population, public accommodation representatives and those working with service animals. However, IAADP believes certain issues need further clarification before being established as final rules.
In response to the NPRM published in the Federal Register on June 17th, IAADP, based on the rationale discussed below, encourages the Department of Justice to:
1. Eliminate the phrase "providing minimal protection" from the definition of service animal;
2. Eliminate the phrase "do work" from the definition because it is redundant and the example of work given in the NPRM, grounding, undermines the Department's goal of maintaining a clear distinction between specially trained service animals and those animals whose mere presence can provide emotional support, companionship or therapeutic benefits.
3. Limit the use of other species only to animals who can be trained to meet the same standards for behavior and training that assistance dogs must meet to qualify for public access.
4. Avoid placing a size or weight limit on common domestic animals such as assistance dogs.
According to the NPRM, widespread misinterpretation of the minimal protection language has been a problem for the last 15 years. The DOJ notes "Despite the Department's best efforts, the minimal protection language appears to have been misinterpreted." By continuing the use of this language, nothing will change. Since the mission of the new rules is to clarify and avoid confusion, maintenance of this phrase undermines this goal.
Minimal protection has been used by some trainers and disabled partners to justify attack and aggression training for what are claimed to be service animals. Although the Department does not agree with this interpretation, continuing to use the minimal protection phrase will foster the idea that attack and aggressive behavior are acceptable tasks performed by assistance dogs.
The justification for including minimal protection in the original definition was to guarantee the rights of those with seizure disorders to train their service dogs for seizure response and alert tasks. Since the new definition proposed by the Department includes assisting an individual during a seizure, the minimal protection language is redundant and not needed. In addition, a major function of service dogs is to help or get help not to prevent help from being given. Allowing "minimal
protection" is the antithesis of what a service dog is trained to do. Therefore, in response to Question Nine, IAADP believes that maintaining the "providing minimal protection" clause is counterproductive to the goal of the current NPRM.
IAADP applauds DOJ's categorical statement: "Animals whose sole function is to provide emotional support, comfort, therapy, companionship, therapeutic benefits, or to promote emotional well-being are not service animals."
IAADP believes it is imperative to make it clear that individuals with disabilities whose pets or companion animals have not been trained to perform tasks directly related to their disability do
not qualify as service animals. These are usually referred to as emotional support or comfort dogs when associated with a person with a psychiatric, cognitive or mental disability. Since individuals with psychiatric disabilities constitute the largest single category of Americans with disabilities, the distinction
between task training to mitigate a disability on the one hand, and mere presence on the other should be clear and consistently supported by the Department.
IAADP'S concern is with the section in the NPRM that reads:
"In contrast, the phrase 'do work' is slightly broader than 'perform tasks', and adds meaning to the definition." By
definition all work is task defined thus to say "do work" is redundant and not needed.
Another concern is the example given of a psychiatric service dog helping some individuals with dissociative identity disorder to remain grounded in time or place. By including grounding as work performed by a psychiatric service dog, the Department is providing the basis for an individual with a psychiatric disability to claim the mere presence of a dog, which helps ground him/her, meets the DOJ definition of a service animal. This reference contradicts the strong and clear statement that emotional support, companion or comfort animals do not meet the Department's definition of a service animal. It also contradicts the basic premise that a service animal performs a task to mitigate a disability. If included, this section will continue to be a source of confusion to the public, businesses and assistance dog partners. IAADP believes the reference to grounding should be eliminated, as well as the phrase "do work".
In response to Question Ten, IAADP commends the Department for recognizing the concerns expressed by many of our constituents about the use of reptiles and other species that cannot be reliably housebroken, task trained or, which by their very nature, pose a threat to public safety. Our goal is to promote the responsible use of access rights and prevent the erosion of societal tolerance for service animal teams in places of public accommodation.
In response to Question 11 concerning the size and weight of common domestic animals, IAADP endorses the current Department policy. We believe it is not the role of the government to limit disabled people's choice of what would be an effective assistance dog for them.
The size of a service animal is a matter of individual choice/necessity and may be related to the nature of the disability. Limiting size and weight would discriminate against disabled individuals who because of their height or weight and/or
the severity of their mobility impairment need to work with very large powerful dogs on strenuous tasks such as providing stability while walking, helping transfer in and out of chairs, getting up after a fall or pulling a wheelchair. IAADP recommends not placing limits on the size or weight of service animals.
With the incorporation of IAADP's recommendations in the new definitions, we feel that the current confusion and misinterpretations will be greatly mitigated to everyone's
benefit.
Thank you for the opportunity to comment on the NPRM.
Ed Eames, Ph.D., President
International Association of Assistance Dog Partners
COALITION OF ASSISTANCE DOG ORGANIZATIONS
P. O. Box 1326
Sterling Heights, Michigan 48311
Phone: 586-826-3938
July 30, 2008
U.S. Department of Justice
Disability Rights Section,
Civil Rights Division
Washington DC
Docket ID: DOJ-CRT-2008-0015
RE: ADA Service Animal Definition and Regulations
Founded in 2001, the Coalition of Assistance Dog Organizations brings together the consumer advocacy organizations representing individuals with disabilities who work with guide, hearing and service dogs and two umbrella organizations for the non profit programs which train canine assistants in the USA. Guide Dog Users, Inc. has over 1000 blind and visually impaired members partnered with guide dogs. The International Association of Assistance
Dog Partners has over 2000 disabled members whose guide, hearing and service dogs are owner trained, privately trained or program trained to perform tasks to mitigate the effects of their disabilities. The Council of US Dog Guide Schools represents ten schools which specialize in the breeding and training of guide dogs. Assistance Dogs International represents more than 100 not for profit programs which train assistance dogs for children and adults with physical and mental disabilities. As a coalition, CADO adopts and promotes its positions through seeking input from its diverse membership and by providing a platform for many like minded individuals to speak with one voice when this is necessary to achieve consensus and change.
CADO members are united in the desire to preserve the public access rights granted by the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA) for the next generation. Collectively we remain deeply concerned about the abuses of the ADA taking place due to accidental or intentional misinterpretation of the original Service Animal definition.
After careful review of the Notice of Proposed Rule Making issued June 17, 2008, CADO commends the Disability Rights section in the Civil Rights division of the U.S. Department of Justice for a number of the changes in wording that have been proposed and for the unequivocal statement that makes clearer the fact that emotional support animals and companion animals are not service animals. We support the Department's decision to incorporate policies from its 1996 and 2002 interpretative guidance documents into the ADA regulation ( 28 CFR 36.302c) which will give these policies greater standing legally as well as educationally. We welcome the addition of the housebreaking requirement and the emphasis on keeping an animal under control in the newly proposed definition of a service animal. However we believe the effort to end the misinterpretations of the definition of a service animal falls short of achieving the intended goal in several areas. Below, CADO will address the three questions posed in the NPRM pertaining to service animals as well as another important issue we strongly encourage the DOJ to reconsider, the retention of “Do Work” in the proposed new definition because of the example of it that was given in the NPRM.
QUESTION NINE: Should the Department clarify the phrase "providing minimal protection" in the definition or remove it?
CADO is strongly opposed to the retention of the words "minimal protection" or any mention of “protection.” Protection language is often incorrectly interpreted by individuals and training programs alike as a license to train aggression related protection behaviors.
In the NPRM the DOJ itself makes the point that despite its best efforts, the phrase continues to be misinterpreted. While the Department may not condone attack or aggression training, it will certainly continue until the word “protection” is removed from the definition. This word has very specific meaning within the dog training industry. It is the word which means aggression training.
In the NPRM, the Department said it tried to clarify "minimal protection" in 2002 with the example "alerting and protecting a person having a seizure," in its interpretative guidance document, "Business Brief; Service Animals." Unfortunately this clarification has also been misinterpreted as sanctioning protection training. CADO believes the new task example cited in the proposed Definition, "assistance during a seizure" is a much more accurate description of tasks required to accomplish the goal of ensuring the inclusion of people who have a disabling seizure disorder. This new task example, "assistance during a seizure," in addition to other new tasks in the proposed definition , namely retrieving medicine or the telephone, providing physical support to assist with balance and stability to individuals with mobility disabilities, and assisting individuals, including those with cognitive disabilities, with navigation is clear and concise. Collectively these new task examples have made the old task example, “minimal protection and rescue work” unnecessary.
In conclusion, CADO respectfully requests that the Department give further consideration to eliminating this misleading language in the service animal definition. Fifteen years of confusion, debates and ongoing misinterpretation of the "minimal protection," language is more than enough. It is time to remove this phrase and end the confusion and damage that it creates.
QUESTION TEN: Should the Department eliminate certain species from the definition of "service animal"? If so, please provide comment on the Department’s use of the phrase "common domestic animal" and on its choice of which types of animals to exclude.
CADO sincerely thanks the DOJ for responding to the many issues raised concerning the use of species which may pose a threat to public safety or which can't be housebroken or task trained. We believe the continuing use of such species will have an eroding impact on societal tolerance for service animal teams in public places.
CADO does not oppose the use of another species if, and only if, the animal can meet the same or equivalent standards for behavior and training that assistance dogs must meet to qualify for public access. This would represent a far less discriminatory approach. We request that the DOJ consider adopting CADO's 2005 Minimum Behavior and Training Standards for all service animals, or that similar guidelines be drafted. [ see Appendix A ]
QUESTION ELEVEN: Should the Department impose a size or weight limitation for common domestic animals, even if the animal satisfies the "common domestic animal" prong of the proposed definition?
CADO supports the Department's current policy of not imposing a weight or size limit on service animals.
CADO believes a size or weight limit on common domestic animals such as assistance dogs would unfairly discriminate against individuals whose height, weight and / or the severity of their mobility impairment necessitates a match with an assistance dog of sufficient size and strength to prevent falls and perform other useful tasks without injury to the dog.
Additional Issue: RETENTION OF "DO WORK" IN THE NEW DEFINITION
We are pleased to see that the Department was receptive to CADO's educational efforts concerning individuals with psychiatric disabilities, autism and other mental impairments. It is our position that such individuals may significantly benefit from task trained service dogs and should not be lumped in with those who wrongfully claim that the ADA sanctions public access for them and their non task trained pets. CADO member programs have trained assistance dogs for individuals disabled by autism, Downs Syndrome, traumatic brain injuries, Alzheimer’s Disease, other cognitive issues and for an increasing number of persons with psychiatric disabilities. CADO indicated this in our 2007 meeting with the DOJ staff.
On behalf of the assistance dog movement, CADO hoped to create a better definition of service animals, one that would maintain a clear distinction between those animals which are individually trained to perform tasks to mitigate the effects of a disabling mental or physical condition and any animal whose mere presence or companionship provides emotional support or some other therapeutic physical health or mental health benefit. We hoped for a new definition that would end the confusion in the media, disabled community and the public and private sectors as to what qualifies an animal for the legal status of a service animal.
While there is much that is good about the proposed definition in the NPRM, a serious flaw has come to our attention. It concerns the Department's explanation titled "Task Emphasis" in the NPRM. The content is so contradictory to the Department's own interpretative guidance document, "Business Brief : Service Animals" from 2002 and to the intent of the proposed definition, which is to eliminate misunderstandings on what qualifies an animal to be a service animal, CADO must oppose the retention of the phrase "do work."
We refer to the statements: Tasks are by their nature physical, so the Department does not believe that such a change [ to physical tasks in the definition ] is warranted. In contrast, the phrase “do work” is slightly broader than “perform tasks” and adds meaning to the definition. For example, a psychiatric service dog can help some individuals with dissociative identity disorder to remain grounded in time or place. As one service dog user stated, in some cases “critical forms of assistance can’t be construed as physical tasks,” noting that manifestations of brain based disabilities such as psychiatric disorders and autism are as varied as their physical counterparts.
This discussion, giving grounding as the example of "do work" followed by the assertion that "in some cases, critical forms of assistance can't be construed as physical tasks," leads the reader to conclude that work is a form of assistance that is NOT a physical task. It suggests an animal will qualify as a service animal if a mentally disabled owner says the dog's presence or companionship helps to keep him or her grounded in time or place.
CADO is aware that for years, pet owners with psychiatric impairments have used the "my pet keeps me grounded" rationale for bringing their non task trained animal into places of public accommodation.
CADO is deeply concerned that this "do work" example will be cited in the future as proof that task training is unnecessary for animals belonging to people with a psychiatric, cognitive or mental disability. Certainly the idea that work can be a non physical form of assistance and not a task will further confuse the distinction between service animals and pets.
Therefore, in the interest of eliminating further confusion and abuse, CADO urges the Department to reconsider this "do work" issue. We respectfully point out the fact that the Department's own interpretative guidance in 2002 excluded the phrase "do work" from the way it defined a service animal. The updated guidance document reads:
"Service animals are animals that are individually trained to perform tasks for people with disabilities, such as guiding people who are blind, alerting people who are deaf, pulling wheelchairs, alerting and protecting a person who is having a seizure or performing other special tasks. Service animals are working animals, not pets."
The 2002 interpretative guidance on the ADA goes on to say: "Businesses may ask if an animal is a service animal or what tasks the animal has been trained to perform, but cannot require special ID cards.....etc."
For six years, the Department's own emphasis on the fact that Task Training is fundamental to the definition of a service animal in the Business Brief has been relied on by the disabled community, businesses, colleges and other interested parties. The DOJ has educated the public and businesses that the performance of tasks is the crucial distinction between specially trained service animals and other animals, whatever their label.
CADO posits that the “do work” phrase in the original definition had nothing to do with a non physical form of assistance. Rather, it merely reflected the fact it was customary to discuss the trained behaviors performed on command or cue by guide dogs as "guide dog work." Guide dog work is a series of trained tasks performed as needed, such as leading a blind person around obstacles, halting to indicate changes in elevation like a curb, avoiding traffic in the team's path, finding the location of a building's exit and finding an empty seat in a classroom or on a bus. These are trained tasks and stand in sharp contrast to the DOJ's example of the ambiguous concept of grounding.
Since 2002, the work performed by service animals has been task defined, arguably making the retention of "do work" and its given example of grounding in the proposed new definition confusing and easily misinterpreted. Unfortunately, due to the impression the average person receives from the NPRM discussion cited above, the phrase “do work” if defined by a term such as “grounding” will seriously undermine the Department's profoundly essential goal of distinguishing between service animals and pets whose presence or companionship will provide emotional support, therapy, comfort, or other therapeutic benefits. The controversy will never end.
Based on these considerations, CADO strongly recommends the elimination of "do work" in the final rule's definition. Failing that, we request illustrating the phrase "do work" with appropriate examples to eliminate the devastating consequences of using the ambiguous term “grounding” as an example. If the DOJ persists in using grounding, CADO feels it will most certainly undo all the progress accomplished by the 2002 interpretative guidance document in terms of educating the public, businesses and disabled community on this issue.
CADO wishes to thank the DOJ for its efforts to help clarify the issues which have created so much confusion and misinterpretation of the original service animal definition and regulations. We sincerely appreciate the opportunity to once again present ideas to the DOJ on behalf of CADO's numerous and varied constituencies made up of individuals who are disabled and partnered with service animals.
Sincerely,
Signature:
Joan Froling, Chairperson, International Association of Assistance Dog Partners
Signature:
Becky Barnes, President, Guide Dog Users, Inc
Signature:
Wells Jones, Chair of the Council of US Dog Guide Schools
Signature:
Darlene Sullivan, Board Member, Assistance Dogs International, North America
Appendix A
BEHAVIOR & TRAINING STANDARDS FOR ALL SERVICE ANIMALS
For over 75 years, assistance dogs have worked successfully in public and won the public's acceptance by achieving high behavioral and training standards, which set them apart from pets and other animals. In order to assure the comfort and safety of people with disabilities AND the general public, high behavioral and training standards must apply equally to all service animals. We propose that all service animals intended for use in public, regardless of species, be required to meet the same standards required of dogs specifically trained to assist people with disabilities. We are not proposing to disallow other species from service work. Any animal that can meet the existing standards for behavior, training, cleanliness and public appropriateness may be allowed to work in public when accompanied by the person for who's disability it was specifically trained.
These standards include:
PUBLIC APPROPRIATENESS:
* Animal is clean and does not have a foul odor.
* Animal does not urinate or defecate in inappropriate locations.
BEHAVIOR:
* Animal shall not make unsolicited contact with members of the general public.
* Animal's conduct does not disrupt the normal course of business.
* Animal works without unnecessary vocalization.
* Animal shows no aggression toward people or other animals.
* Animal does not solicit or steal food or other items from the general public.
TRAINING:
* Animal is specifically trained to perform more than one task to mitigate (lessen) the effects of its partner's disability; said disability being any
condition as described by and covered under the ADA that substantially impairs one or more major life functions.
* Animal obeys the commands of its handler.
* Animal works calmly and quietly on a harness, leash or other tether.
* Animal has been specifically trained to perform its duties in public and is accustomed to being out in public.
* Animal must be able to lie quietly beside the handler without blocking aisles, doorways, etc.
* Animal is trained to urinate or defecate on command
* Animal stays within 24" of its handler at all times unless the nature of a trained task requires it to be working at a greater distance.
Tired yet? I know I am. But hey, even if people don't agree with all that stuff, at least they can still make their own feelings known. Hopefully this results in clarification, no more pets running around where they shouldn't, and everybody who has legitimate service dogs, whether owner-trained or school-trained, getting the access they deserve.
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