Monday, June 30, 2008
That's So Redacted
It's pretty frightening that anybody would trust a group like the American Family Association to deliver the daily news to begin with, and it gets even worse when you find out that they've gone so nuts as to start
changing any and all references to the word gay to homosexual.
Yes, that does indeed include proper names.
Apparently they've gone back and fixed at least one of them, but likely not in time to stop poor Tyson and Rudy Homosexual from taking a right ribbing from their friends and families.
changing any and all references to the word gay to homosexual.
Yes, that does indeed include proper names.
Apparently they've gone back and fixed at least one of them, but likely not in time to stop poor Tyson and Rudy Homosexual from taking a right ribbing from their friends and families.
Top 10 Strangest Anti-terrorism Patents
It's been said that nothing is accomplished without a little bit of trial and error, and boy have I got some error for you people!
This
is a rundown of some of the stupidest anti-terrorism inventions to ever receive patents. There are some real gems in here, including...
I also got a kick out of the explosion containment net. If it works at all, it's only going to contain explosions that haven't happened yet. You know, the ones that aren't killing anybody.
This
is a rundown of some of the stupidest anti-terrorism inventions to ever receive patents. There are some real gems in here, including...
Passenger Control System During Flight
U.S. Patent 6970105, Passenger control system during a plane flying, by Paolo Valletta. Issued Nov 29, 2005.
Problem: A terrorist is onboard, and you want to disable him without harming the other passengers.
Solution: Make all passengers wear armbands that monitors their body for signs of falsehood and evil (ooh, say heart pulsation and blood pressure - hey, it's in the patent application, mmkay?). And did I mention there's a syringe filled with a strong tranquilizer connected to the thing? One "anomalous emotional condition," then off to dreamland they go!
Bonus: Works for unruly kids.
I also got a kick out of the explosion containment net. If it works at all, it's only going to contain explosions that haven't happened yet. You know, the ones that aren't killing anybody.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
How Thoughtful!
I'm not sure why exactly this amuses me so, but it does.
Police have recaptured a jail escapee who, in an apparent attempt to say sorry for slipping away on ya like that fellas,
left a rose made out of toilet paper for one of the prison's administrators.
Police have recaptured a jail escapee who, in an apparent attempt to say sorry for slipping away on ya like that fellas,
left a rose made out of toilet paper for one of the prison's administrators.
When Camacho-Mendoza escaped, he left behind a rose he made from toilet paper. The captured inmate claimed the paper flower was a gift to jail administrator, Capt. Jeff Marvin, according to Howard.
“When we asked him about that, he said he felt sorry for the captain for escaping,” Howard said. “(The flower) looked pretty nice.”
Sparky, It's For You
Uh, in what world are ringtones that only dogs can hear something we would want? You'd miss your cellphone ringing, but your dog would go bananas. Yeah, sounds good. Or, maybe it's a big fat scam. but I guess it can't really be a scam, since they're giving them away for free. I hope they stay free, because that's exactly what they're worth.
First The Top 40, Then The World!
Come here kids, we need to have a little chat. Yes, please sit down.
I know a lot of you love your music. I'm completely down with that, because I do too. But if any of you little hooligans thinks for one second that the world is going to sit idly bye while you use your copy of iTunes for the development, design, manufacture, or production of nuclear missiles
or chemical or biological weapons," you had better
think again.
And you over there in the corner, I can see you scheming to use it for "the operation of nuclear facilities, aircraft navigation or communication systems, life support machines, or other equipment in which the failure of the Apple software could lead to death, personal injury, or severe physical or environmental damage." I'll have you know there will be none of that either. Do I make myself clear?
I'm glad we had this talk, and I hope we understand each other a little bit better. Now run along and download me some Tom Petty or something.
I know a lot of you love your music. I'm completely down with that, because I do too. But if any of you little hooligans thinks for one second that the world is going to sit idly bye while you use your copy of iTunes for the development, design, manufacture, or production of nuclear missiles
or chemical or biological weapons," you had better
think again.
And you over there in the corner, I can see you scheming to use it for "the operation of nuclear facilities, aircraft navigation or communication systems, life support machines, or other equipment in which the failure of the Apple software could lead to death, personal injury, or severe physical or environmental damage." I'll have you know there will be none of that either. Do I make myself clear?
I'm glad we had this talk, and I hope we understand each other a little bit better. Now run along and download me some Tom Petty or something.
Captcha Study
Woe! Somebody at the University of Washington's computer science and engineering department is doing a way cool study that anyone who has a hate on for any form of captcha should participate in.
Captchas are those...what did I call them? fucking blasted son of a bitch goddamn piece of shit graphical word verification thingies? Yeah, that sounds about right. So this study is measuring the decipherability by humans of different types of these suckas. Funnily enough, the new Craigslist style was in there , and that's the only one that I actually failed at.
For the most part, the actual study is accessible. I had some issues with combo boxes not updating properly. Just persist, and you should be fine.
Anyone with significant hearing loss as well as vision loss, please participate. Show them how hard it is for you to decipher that garbled audio, please.
I hope this study gets oodles of participants.
Captchas are those...what did I call them? fucking blasted son of a bitch goddamn piece of shit graphical word verification thingies? Yeah, that sounds about right. So this study is measuring the decipherability by humans of different types of these suckas. Funnily enough, the new Craigslist style was in there , and that's the only one that I actually failed at.
For the most part, the actual study is accessible. I had some issues with combo boxes not updating properly. Just persist, and you should be fine.
Anyone with significant hearing loss as well as vision loss, please participate. Show them how hard it is for you to decipher that garbled audio, please.
I hope this study gets oodles of participants.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Can You Spell Business Without Bus?
Here I go, ranting again, although I'm not nearly as mad about this as my other posts of today.
There's something that drives me nuts. It's the answer I get when I ask a business what bus route it's on, or where the nearest stop is. Nine times out of ten, the answer is simply a blank stare and a long um. At best, I get told to ask the driver. That's a crap shoot, since as happened to me the other day, some drivers don't give a crap and expect you to pull the bell at the right spot. Some are great, and some haven't a flaming clue and could get me pretty lost. If I ask for driving directions, however, I get quick precise directions down to the last detail.
Ya know, for a city who is trying to promote its transit system as the way to go, it has a long way to go in teaching the businesses about said transit system. If someone can't get decent bus directions, they'll just say "Ah screw it!" and either drive themselves there or take a cab.
I had another scary experience to do with businesses not knowing what stops are near them. After going into a store, I asked someone to walk me out to the stop that would take me downtown. The guy had no clue, but took me to the nearest stop. To make things worse, ever since the transit system undertook having this code system instituted where you could call a number and ask a robot thingamabob to tell you when the next bus would be at this stop, they removed all of the route-listings from the bus signs as well as times of arrival and just left the number to call and the code to dial to get when the next bus was coming. That's great, when only one route comes to a given stop. But in a lot of cases, multiple routes come to the same stop, so you only get info for one route.
Anyway, a bus pulled up. Most times, I ask the bus driver what route he is driving before I get on. This one time, in my entire existence, I didn't. Oh oh oh, never again!
The bus drove off, and at about the time when I expected to get downtown, the bus stopped! I asked if we were downtown. The driver said, "Oh no, ma'am, this bus doesn't go downtown. We're at (insert intersection of streets out in bum fuck nowhere)."
Uh, uh-oh. That's a big uh-oh. I have never been stranded before, and it just happened, partially because the people in the store have no idea what stops lead where. It's partly because of the shitty signage, but if the people had been at least familiar with which stop would lead downtown and which would lead to the outer perimeter, they would have taken me to the ballpark of the right place.
"don't worry," the poor startled driver said. "There's a bus coming to this stop that will take you back into the city. Just wait 20 minutes." So since I wouldn't have the slightest clue of how to direct a cab to my stranded ass, I waited in the blazing sun. I tried to go in the shelter, but that was worse, since 3 sides of glass focused the sun on me. Ooo! I'm an ant and this shelter feels like a magnifying glass! Sizzle!
While I sizzled, I called the store and told them what had happened. I told them I don't completely blame them, since the signs blow, but I said it would be good for business if they educated themselves about the nearest bus stops that led in each direction. Oh my my my how the poor man apologized. I think he would have cried. He said he hoped it wouldn't be a huge inconvenience. I'm merciless. I said I really don't know how much of an inconvenience it was going to be, since I was stranded in bum fuck nowhere and had only a slight idea of when I would be returning to civilization . I told him I wasn't blaming the poor well-intentioned fellow, except I hoped this would be a lesson, and maybe he would learn a little about the bus.
Finally, a bus pulled up, and I could get off near my house, saving me some time and some hastle. But Gees louise, it would sure help business if people who ran stores understood what in hell bus could deliver their pedestrian customers close to their doors.
Hmmm. Looks like I should talk to the city about this, too. Oh boy. What is this, advocacy week? At least in the near future, when they have to start calling out all stops and they've commissioned more buses, they're going to put better signage up, i.e. they're putting the damn route numbers back up. Good idea, thanks for comin' around.
There's something that drives me nuts. It's the answer I get when I ask a business what bus route it's on, or where the nearest stop is. Nine times out of ten, the answer is simply a blank stare and a long um. At best, I get told to ask the driver. That's a crap shoot, since as happened to me the other day, some drivers don't give a crap and expect you to pull the bell at the right spot. Some are great, and some haven't a flaming clue and could get me pretty lost. If I ask for driving directions, however, I get quick precise directions down to the last detail.
Ya know, for a city who is trying to promote its transit system as the way to go, it has a long way to go in teaching the businesses about said transit system. If someone can't get decent bus directions, they'll just say "Ah screw it!" and either drive themselves there or take a cab.
I had another scary experience to do with businesses not knowing what stops are near them. After going into a store, I asked someone to walk me out to the stop that would take me downtown. The guy had no clue, but took me to the nearest stop. To make things worse, ever since the transit system undertook having this code system instituted where you could call a number and ask a robot thingamabob to tell you when the next bus would be at this stop, they removed all of the route-listings from the bus signs as well as times of arrival and just left the number to call and the code to dial to get when the next bus was coming. That's great, when only one route comes to a given stop. But in a lot of cases, multiple routes come to the same stop, so you only get info for one route.
Anyway, a bus pulled up. Most times, I ask the bus driver what route he is driving before I get on. This one time, in my entire existence, I didn't. Oh oh oh, never again!
The bus drove off, and at about the time when I expected to get downtown, the bus stopped! I asked if we were downtown. The driver said, "Oh no, ma'am, this bus doesn't go downtown. We're at (insert intersection of streets out in bum fuck nowhere)."
Uh, uh-oh. That's a big uh-oh. I have never been stranded before, and it just happened, partially because the people in the store have no idea what stops lead where. It's partly because of the shitty signage, but if the people had been at least familiar with which stop would lead downtown and which would lead to the outer perimeter, they would have taken me to the ballpark of the right place.
"don't worry," the poor startled driver said. "There's a bus coming to this stop that will take you back into the city. Just wait 20 minutes." So since I wouldn't have the slightest clue of how to direct a cab to my stranded ass, I waited in the blazing sun. I tried to go in the shelter, but that was worse, since 3 sides of glass focused the sun on me. Ooo! I'm an ant and this shelter feels like a magnifying glass! Sizzle!
While I sizzled, I called the store and told them what had happened. I told them I don't completely blame them, since the signs blow, but I said it would be good for business if they educated themselves about the nearest bus stops that led in each direction. Oh my my my how the poor man apologized. I think he would have cried. He said he hoped it wouldn't be a huge inconvenience. I'm merciless. I said I really don't know how much of an inconvenience it was going to be, since I was stranded in bum fuck nowhere and had only a slight idea of when I would be returning to civilization . I told him I wasn't blaming the poor well-intentioned fellow, except I hoped this would be a lesson, and maybe he would learn a little about the bus.
Finally, a bus pulled up, and I could get off near my house, saving me some time and some hastle. But Gees louise, it would sure help business if people who ran stores understood what in hell bus could deliver their pedestrian customers close to their doors.
Hmmm. Looks like I should talk to the city about this, too. Oh boy. What is this, advocacy week? At least in the near future, when they have to start calling out all stops and they've commissioned more buses, they're going to put better signage up, i.e. they're putting the damn route numbers back up. Good idea, thanks for comin' around.
From Idiots To Idiotic Services
Raaaar! This idiot saga will never end. Remember how I said I cut my toe on that glass? Well, even after I cleaned and bandaged it, I feel odd pain in it. It feels like the pain has moved. So, I'm starting to think I got glass *in* my toe. Since I've been prone to getting infections, hi ho, hi ho, it's off to a walk-in clinic I go. That is, if I can find one. Since it's theCanada day weekend, everything is closed. Apparently people aren't supposed to get hurt on Canada Day weekend in small stupid ways, and injuries great and small all need to pile into the emergency room at the only hospital in this damn city. At least that's the way it's looking.
Because I don't want to spend half the day bussing and cabbing to closed doors, I'm trying to make sure the info is current, and in fact, nothing is open. In order to do this, I called amuch touted service by the government. It's called Telehealth Ontario, and it's available 24 hours a day and you can speak to a nurse. I haven't had the best of success with them before, but I'm sure they can at least verify that in fact, dick all is open and yes, I have to take up the valuable time of the nurses and doctors at Guelph General while they deal with car crash victims, people suffering heart attacks and strokes, and other assorted goodness. I'm sure they'll look at me and about want to strangle me. I don't even *know* if I have glass in my damn foot. Or maybe, if I'm lucky, I can go to a walk-in clinic where I belong, a place where someone goes outside of their doctor's hours if they have a bad cough, a small concern, something more trivial than death and guts.
I must point out that I wrote the majority of this as I sat on hold. I think this is important. Anyway, back to the bitching.
A receptionist first picks up and asks basically what the question is. I figure that maybe, possibly, the receptionist can answer this one without even adding to the queue that the nurses have to deal with. I ask the question of whether there are walk-in clinics open in this city, and nope, the receptionist says the nurse will handle that question. What the hell? Then what is the receptionist for? She's about as useful as the woman at the front of the ER who asks for all your info just so the nurse can ask you again, and so can the doctor. Some fine efficiency we have there.
I continue to hold, being asked every few minutes whether I'd like to arrange a call-back or leave a message or continue to hold. I hold because if they call back, I may not realize it's them, think it's a telemarketer and miss their call again, so why not just sit and hold?
Finally, the nurse picks up, and asks me what my question is. I tell her, and I feel like I've been transported to Radio Shack, er, The Source by Circuit city. She needs to know my date of birth, middle initial, address, postal code, all manner of things. Finally, we get down to the question, and I got the answer I didn't want. Looks like Homeboy's off to the ER unless I can find a friendly and intelligent neighbour to have a quick look and at least tell me if I should bother wasting the time of medical personnel.
Wow, I'm in a bitchy mood today. Hopefully I won't have to spend a huge chunk of it in the goddamn ER. But I'd rather that than end up with some kind of horrible infection from who knows what that was on that glass.
Because I don't want to spend half the day bussing and cabbing to closed doors, I'm trying to make sure the info is current, and in fact, nothing is open. In order to do this, I called amuch touted service by the government. It's called Telehealth Ontario, and it's available 24 hours a day and you can speak to a nurse. I haven't had the best of success with them before, but I'm sure they can at least verify that in fact, dick all is open and yes, I have to take up the valuable time of the nurses and doctors at Guelph General while they deal with car crash victims, people suffering heart attacks and strokes, and other assorted goodness. I'm sure they'll look at me and about want to strangle me. I don't even *know* if I have glass in my damn foot. Or maybe, if I'm lucky, I can go to a walk-in clinic where I belong, a place where someone goes outside of their doctor's hours if they have a bad cough, a small concern, something more trivial than death and guts.
I must point out that I wrote the majority of this as I sat on hold. I think this is important. Anyway, back to the bitching.
A receptionist first picks up and asks basically what the question is. I figure that maybe, possibly, the receptionist can answer this one without even adding to the queue that the nurses have to deal with. I ask the question of whether there are walk-in clinics open in this city, and nope, the receptionist says the nurse will handle that question. What the hell? Then what is the receptionist for? She's about as useful as the woman at the front of the ER who asks for all your info just so the nurse can ask you again, and so can the doctor. Some fine efficiency we have there.
I continue to hold, being asked every few minutes whether I'd like to arrange a call-back or leave a message or continue to hold. I hold because if they call back, I may not realize it's them, think it's a telemarketer and miss their call again, so why not just sit and hold?
Finally, the nurse picks up, and asks me what my question is. I tell her, and I feel like I've been transported to Radio Shack, er, The Source by Circuit city. She needs to know my date of birth, middle initial, address, postal code, all manner of things. Finally, we get down to the question, and I got the answer I didn't want. Looks like Homeboy's off to the ER unless I can find a friendly and intelligent neighbour to have a quick look and at least tell me if I should bother wasting the time of medical personnel.
Wow, I'm in a bitchy mood today. Hopefully I won't have to spend a huge chunk of it in the goddamn ER. But I'd rather that than end up with some kind of horrible infection from who knows what that was on that glass.
Idiots! Update
Well, here's the update to the glass-throwing hooligans story. This morning, bright and early, Steve and I headed out to the bank. We were merrily walking up the street, when ker-runch! What did I kick? What did I step in? but glass! Thankfully, it was me who hit it, and not Trixie, but I think that was strictly miraculous. Since my toes are right at the end of my sandals, I did manage to cut the top of my big toe just a tad, though. I'd rather that than her pads.
We pulled over to the side and called the super from the spot. At first, she didn't understand that we were standing by the glass. Finally, she and another guy showed up on the scene and scooped up the huge amount of glass around. There was glass on the road, glass on the sidewalk, glass a ways down the sidewalk, heaps and heaps of glass. She was scooping for a good couple of minutes. She said it wasn't a beer bottle, it was like a drinking glass.
"Joo are bleeding!" she yelled when she saw my foot. "Dis happen right now?" I had to explain that it happened last night, but I was fortunate enough to not hit the glass then, but I hit it this morning. She was mad mad mad, especially when I told her about the popped car tires and the fact that I was there when they threw it. She and her buddy who came with her to scoop glass kept telling me I needed a witness. I said I'd try, but I challenged them to stand with me and count the pedestrians that we saw. "Joo should have called us then!" she said. I told her I thought it was all in the road, because that's what Spineless and my neighbour said, and it was dark and I didn't want her getting hit picking up glass. She told me next time, I should call them and the cops. I said will do, for damn sure. I'll stand riveted to the spot until they're down there.
Jill's right. She wrote in the comment box under the first post that I should write letters to the papers. They're going out, One to each paper. Hopefully one gets published and someone who either had their tires nicked or was standing with the moron who threw it will come through for me. And maybe Spineless will feel just an ounce of guilt for what he did.
We pulled over to the side and called the super from the spot. At first, she didn't understand that we were standing by the glass. Finally, she and another guy showed up on the scene and scooped up the huge amount of glass around. There was glass on the road, glass on the sidewalk, glass a ways down the sidewalk, heaps and heaps of glass. She was scooping for a good couple of minutes. She said it wasn't a beer bottle, it was like a drinking glass.
"Joo are bleeding!" she yelled when she saw my foot. "Dis happen right now?" I had to explain that it happened last night, but I was fortunate enough to not hit the glass then, but I hit it this morning. She was mad mad mad, especially when I told her about the popped car tires and the fact that I was there when they threw it. She and her buddy who came with her to scoop glass kept telling me I needed a witness. I said I'd try, but I challenged them to stand with me and count the pedestrians that we saw. "Joo should have called us then!" she said. I told her I thought it was all in the road, because that's what Spineless and my neighbour said, and it was dark and I didn't want her getting hit picking up glass. She told me next time, I should call them and the cops. I said will do, for damn sure. I'll stand riveted to the spot until they're down there.
Jill's right. She wrote in the comment box under the first post that I should write letters to the papers. They're going out, One to each paper. Hopefully one gets published and someone who either had their tires nicked or was standing with the moron who threw it will come through for me. And maybe Spineless will feel just an ounce of guilt for what he did.
Idiots!
Grrr. Even though I'm calmer now, I'm still fuming. Fume fume fuming.
I took Trixie out for her final business. Just before she did it, I heard a ker smash! Some pea-brained numbnut toolchest asshole decided that it would be jolly good fun to heave a beer bottle from his balcony toward the street. Oh wasn't that a party? Yo ho ho and a broken bottle of beer. Well a broken beer bottle anyway. When it fell, I yelled up in the general direction from where the sound came. That's when I heard the nincompoop say it. "She can hear what direction it came from!" You're damn right I can, and you'd better realize that I may not know which apartment you live in, but I'm sure, by your thoughtless and careless behaviour, you arseholes have a record, and if I tell the super, she can figure out just who you are.
Obviously, I was quite shaken up by this. I have had imbeciles, I think the same ones, throw things before, but this time, I heard them talking about me, too. There was no one else around, so I could be the only "she" they were talking about. I first wondered if it was aimed at me. I'm still not sure. A large part of me just thinks they were being shitheads with no regard for anyone else but themselves. That doesn't make me feel any safer. You see, this is the kind of situation where we're more vulnerable. It's not caused by yammering on a talking cellphone. It's the inability to see what you're describing so you can give a full description.
Being afraid to move from the spot because I didn't know where the glass was, so didn't want Trixie to step in it, I stood there like a statue. I watched cars drive down the road, and as they neared the stretch of road next to where I was standing, I heard, "Crunch!" There goes one set of tires. Two. Three.
Finally, someone pulled off and asked me if someone had thrown glass near me. I was so happy to see a fellow human, and hopeful that this possessor of eyeballs could help me narrow down where the glass came from. I soon learned that this possesser of eyeballs did not possess a spine. I asked him to tell me where he thought it came from. There were still screaming nincompoops yelling out the window. I said, "Tell me where that is coming from. That over there." I pointed. "Up there." I said I need to know so I can report it, because I do not feel safe because this has happened before, but I've never had eyeballs around. He whispers. "Stop. They're looking down at you!" And what are they going to do? Come and attack both of us? Either he can fucking help me, or he can leave me stil wondering where in the blue bloody blazing hell these douchebags live so I can worry about it the next time I'm down here alone. He chose choice b. Thanks, prick. You held a lot of power to help me. You chose to cower in fear. Thanks for leaving me to deal with this without any help. Go back to your fucking car. I hope you drove over enough glass to leave it undrivable, and I hope no one helps you. Have a nice night by the side of the road. Whew. That was a lot of rage.
Not being satisfied with that, I went and talked to my neighbour and asked him to come down with me to see if he could at least give me a ballpark of where he thought the glass came from. He did, and told me there was quite a lot of glass in the middle of the road. Unfortunately, by then, the party animals had retreated inside, so we couldn't figure out which apartment they were in. As we came back in, we saw a cab with a flat tire, another victim of the glass. They could have hurt so many people. It could have hit a pedestrian, a car, who knows? So I'm not doing this just for me. I'm calling the super tomorrow. She has trouble with English. Hopefully I won't have to play charades to explain what happened, and hopefully she'll care enough to do something about it, for the sake of everybody.
Here's a special note to the shit for brains tenants who live up there. You can't heave shit off your balcony. and I may be blind, but yes I know what direction it came from, and I don't just go away! If you do manage to hurt my dog, you worthless scumbags are going to hear about it.
Sheesh! That was a lot of rage. But I think I feel better. We'll see what happens with the super tomorrow. Hopefully it'll be something good.
I took Trixie out for her final business. Just before she did it, I heard a ker smash! Some pea-brained numbnut toolchest asshole decided that it would be jolly good fun to heave a beer bottle from his balcony toward the street. Oh wasn't that a party? Yo ho ho and a broken bottle of beer. Well a broken beer bottle anyway. When it fell, I yelled up in the general direction from where the sound came. That's when I heard the nincompoop say it. "She can hear what direction it came from!" You're damn right I can, and you'd better realize that I may not know which apartment you live in, but I'm sure, by your thoughtless and careless behaviour, you arseholes have a record, and if I tell the super, she can figure out just who you are.
Obviously, I was quite shaken up by this. I have had imbeciles, I think the same ones, throw things before, but this time, I heard them talking about me, too. There was no one else around, so I could be the only "she" they were talking about. I first wondered if it was aimed at me. I'm still not sure. A large part of me just thinks they were being shitheads with no regard for anyone else but themselves. That doesn't make me feel any safer. You see, this is the kind of situation where we're more vulnerable. It's not caused by yammering on a talking cellphone. It's the inability to see what you're describing so you can give a full description.
Being afraid to move from the spot because I didn't know where the glass was, so didn't want Trixie to step in it, I stood there like a statue. I watched cars drive down the road, and as they neared the stretch of road next to where I was standing, I heard, "Crunch!" There goes one set of tires. Two. Three.
Finally, someone pulled off and asked me if someone had thrown glass near me. I was so happy to see a fellow human, and hopeful that this possessor of eyeballs could help me narrow down where the glass came from. I soon learned that this possesser of eyeballs did not possess a spine. I asked him to tell me where he thought it came from. There were still screaming nincompoops yelling out the window. I said, "Tell me where that is coming from. That over there." I pointed. "Up there." I said I need to know so I can report it, because I do not feel safe because this has happened before, but I've never had eyeballs around. He whispers. "Stop. They're looking down at you!" And what are they going to do? Come and attack both of us? Either he can fucking help me, or he can leave me stil wondering where in the blue bloody blazing hell these douchebags live so I can worry about it the next time I'm down here alone. He chose choice b. Thanks, prick. You held a lot of power to help me. You chose to cower in fear. Thanks for leaving me to deal with this without any help. Go back to your fucking car. I hope you drove over enough glass to leave it undrivable, and I hope no one helps you. Have a nice night by the side of the road. Whew. That was a lot of rage.
Not being satisfied with that, I went and talked to my neighbour and asked him to come down with me to see if he could at least give me a ballpark of where he thought the glass came from. He did, and told me there was quite a lot of glass in the middle of the road. Unfortunately, by then, the party animals had retreated inside, so we couldn't figure out which apartment they were in. As we came back in, we saw a cab with a flat tire, another victim of the glass. They could have hurt so many people. It could have hit a pedestrian, a car, who knows? So I'm not doing this just for me. I'm calling the super tomorrow. She has trouble with English. Hopefully I won't have to play charades to explain what happened, and hopefully she'll care enough to do something about it, for the sake of everybody.
Here's a special note to the shit for brains tenants who live up there. You can't heave shit off your balcony. and I may be blind, but yes I know what direction it came from, and I don't just go away! If you do manage to hurt my dog, you worthless scumbags are going to hear about it.
Sheesh! That was a lot of rage. But I think I feel better. We'll see what happens with the super tomorrow. Hopefully it'll be something good.
Friday, June 27, 2008
It Has A Nice Ring To It
If you're a registered San Francisco voter, please, for the love of God sign
this petition!
A group calling itself the Presidential Memorial Commission is trying to ghet a proposal on the ballot for November's elections that would see one of the city's sewage plants named after George W Bush. They say that a President who has done so much for his country during his time in office deserves a monument worthy of his accomplishments.
We here at the Vomit Comet fully endorse this idea and would gladly put pens to paper if we could, but since geography is working against us, this plug is the best we can offer. But those of you in the area, you know what to do.
this petition!
A group calling itself the Presidential Memorial Commission is trying to ghet a proposal on the ballot for November's elections that would see one of the city's sewage plants named after George W Bush. They say that a President who has done so much for his country during his time in office deserves a monument worthy of his accomplishments.
We here at the Vomit Comet fully endorse this idea and would gladly put pens to paper if we could, but since geography is working against us, this plug is the best we can offer. But those of you in the area, you know what to do.
Toilet Trivia
It isn't widely known, but the first toilet seat was invented by a Polish scientist in the 16th century. The invention was later modified by an Irish inventor who, seeing room for improvement, put a hole in it.
More Bad Days At The Office
Here's another great collection of
screw-ups from the news. If that link doesn't work, try this one.
There's some good stuff in here. You might have to watch it a couple of times to catch everything.
For blind people using JAWS, press the 0 button in the Flash movie to get it to play. Those of you using other screen readers are on your own as usual.
screw-ups from the news. If that link doesn't work, try this one.
There's some good stuff in here. You might have to watch it a couple of times to catch everything.
For blind people using JAWS, press the 0 button in the Flash movie to get it to play. Those of you using other screen readers are on your own as usual.
Bananas, Nuts, Chocolate Tree!
Uh, with the food crisis forming around us, should Mars Inc. and IBM really be wasting their time mapping the genome of the cocoa tree? Shouldn't we be more worried about things like, oh, say, rice, or maybe corn? We don't *need* chocolate!
Congraduations
I want to take a quick moment to give a big thumbs up to my brother and sister who both graduated this month. My sister from college with all the qualifications one needs to get beaten up by the elderly, and my brother from high school right into a sweet job (see what I did there?) working at a bakery, thus ensuring that I will always be a fat fuck.
Nice work both of you. You make me proud... proud and old.
Nice work both of you. You make me proud... proud and old.
Blind Paranoia
This morning, I was struck by how paranoid some blinks are about being robbed. Maybe I've just been extremely lucky or something, but I don't understand this intense fear.
I'm on a listserve for people who want to talk about the Talks program, the thing that makes my cellphone talk. I forget how this whole thing started, but it quickly degenerated. Someone said that they find that if they have the voice up a bit on their phone, people notice and then ask questions about talking cellphones, and it becomes a bit of an education. Immediately, some snapped back, "Or, they realize you're blind and can't see them coming and come and steal your phone! The voice will draw them like moths to a flame! Keep the phone out of sight and plug in headphones, for god's sake! Having the phone out in plain sight is like saying 'rob me rob me rob me!'"
Hmmm. I think they'll notice I'm blind far before I whip out a talking mobile phone. I will have walked to where I am with the aid of a dog. Some of us will have white canes. We're obvious. Someone who wants to rob us doesn't need to hear speech to figure it out.
And, won't having earphone chords extending down from our heads intrigue would-be robbers just as much? now, instead of knowing it's a cellphone, they'll wonder what it is. They'll wonder if it's an mp3 player! Maybe it's something even cooler than that.
Plus, we're really obvious in big groups of people. If someone decides to rob us, people are going to see it. I know we're more vulnerable to being taken advantage of in other ways, but I don't hear a lot of blind people getting mugged in crowds of folks.
I'm just amazed at how much of a lively discussion has been sparked on whether or not you should hold out your phone while doing stuff on it. Of course, it's good to have common sense and not flash money around or walk around jabbering on a cellphone in areas where cellphones get stolen a lot, but this seems like far more than common sense safety. this seems like a lot of us are living in fear! How sad. I know the world sucks, but I have never found that it sucked that much.
I'm on a listserve for people who want to talk about the Talks program, the thing that makes my cellphone talk. I forget how this whole thing started, but it quickly degenerated. Someone said that they find that if they have the voice up a bit on their phone, people notice and then ask questions about talking cellphones, and it becomes a bit of an education. Immediately, some snapped back, "Or, they realize you're blind and can't see them coming and come and steal your phone! The voice will draw them like moths to a flame! Keep the phone out of sight and plug in headphones, for god's sake! Having the phone out in plain sight is like saying 'rob me rob me rob me!'"
Hmmm. I think they'll notice I'm blind far before I whip out a talking mobile phone. I will have walked to where I am with the aid of a dog. Some of us will have white canes. We're obvious. Someone who wants to rob us doesn't need to hear speech to figure it out.
And, won't having earphone chords extending down from our heads intrigue would-be robbers just as much? now, instead of knowing it's a cellphone, they'll wonder what it is. They'll wonder if it's an mp3 player! Maybe it's something even cooler than that.
Plus, we're really obvious in big groups of people. If someone decides to rob us, people are going to see it. I know we're more vulnerable to being taken advantage of in other ways, but I don't hear a lot of blind people getting mugged in crowds of folks.
I'm just amazed at how much of a lively discussion has been sparked on whether or not you should hold out your phone while doing stuff on it. Of course, it's good to have common sense and not flash money around or walk around jabbering on a cellphone in areas where cellphones get stolen a lot, but this seems like far more than common sense safety. this seems like a lot of us are living in fear! How sad. I know the world sucks, but I have never found that it sucked that much.
Today's Poorly Worded Headline
Justice minister to herald stronger enforcement of drug-impaired driving
I think we all know what this is really about, but the headline makes it sound like the cops will be pulling you over to make sure that you're sufficiently fucked up on something. Well, if the people Carin and I run into on an average day are any indication, they won't have much to worry about on that front.
I think we all know what this is really about, but the headline makes it sound like the cops will be pulling you over to make sure that you're sufficiently fucked up on something. Well, if the people Carin and I run into on an average day are any indication, they won't have much to worry about on that front.
That's What He Gets For Littering
It's not even 10 in the morning and I already feel like I can relax and start feeling better about myself. Why? Because I'm not
the 21-year-old dumbass from P.E.I. who fell out of a moving vehicle because it was oh so important that the empty beer bottle made it to the road.
Here's hoping that his recovery time and whatever portion of his life he may spend in jail as a result of the charges he could now be facing is used learning about this new-fangled thing called a window that they're installing in most vehicles now.
Here's also hoping that the omission of the words police believe alcohol was a factor in the incident was simply an oversight.
the 21-year-old dumbass from P.E.I. who fell out of a moving vehicle because it was oh so important that the empty beer bottle made it to the road.
RCMP said the man was a passenger in a van coming home from a beach party in Chelton, between Summerside and Borden. Police said he opened the van door to throw away a beer bottle and fell onto the road.
He suffered major injuries to his feet and head and remains in hospital. RCMP said he wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Here's hoping that his recovery time and whatever portion of his life he may spend in jail as a result of the charges he could now be facing is used learning about this new-fangled thing called a window that they're installing in most vehicles now.
Here's also hoping that the omission of the words police believe alcohol was a factor in the incident was simply an oversight.
It's Good To Be Tough, But Some Sense Would Be Nice
I hate to say this, but it sounds like Eric Morris was doomed to die young. I mean, he did everything anyone asked him to do that was crazy. "Wanna jump off a roof?"
"Sure!"
"How about surfing on the hood of a car?"
"Vroom Vroom let's go!"
"Ok, how about drinking shots upon shots of a mixture of Crown Royal, cherry vodka and Red Bull?"
"Mmm! Sounds good! Bring it on! Glug glug glug glug. You're stopping after 10? You Wuss! Amature! Glug glug glug glug! Bar-tender, give me more! I need more than 23! You won't? You Asshole! I demand..." crash bang boom puke die.
What a horrible way to go! But he sure went out in the fashion that seemed to be his whole way of living. What a sad end to what sounds like a kind of sad existence.
"Sure!"
"How about surfing on the hood of a car?"
"Vroom Vroom let's go!"
"Ok, how about drinking shots upon shots of a mixture of Crown Royal, cherry vodka and Red Bull?"
"Mmm! Sounds good! Bring it on! Glug glug glug glug. You're stopping after 10? You Wuss! Amature! Glug glug glug glug! Bar-tender, give me more! I need more than 23! You won't? You Asshole! I demand..." crash bang boom puke die.
What a horrible way to go! But he sure went out in the fashion that seemed to be his whole way of living. What a sad end to what sounds like a kind of sad existence.
Glad He's Got His Priorities Straight
From the
SeacoastOnline Police Log.
SeacoastOnline Police Log.
9:04 p.m. — A South Street caller told police he heard a female scream but would not be available for follow-up calls because he was “getting in the bath tub with his wife.”
Thursday, June 26, 2008
The News Must Really Suck In Romania
Here come the Romanians again, time to give Steve another nickel.
Two senators are trying to pass a law that demands that an equal proportion of the news on TV and radio be about happy things as sad ones, because somehow, they think it will improve folks' mental health. I don't buy that. I think they just want to control the media again like was done before 1989.
Two senators are trying to pass a law that demands that an equal proportion of the news on TV and radio be about happy things as sad ones, because somehow, they think it will improve folks' mental health. I don't buy that. I think they just want to control the media again like was done before 1989.
Want Some N Words? How About Nitwit, Or Nincompoop, Or Numbskull?
Um, do you think it's a good idea to make a racial statement by putting a t-shirt on a white kid that has the n word on it and sending her off to her 90% non-white school without so much as having a talk with the kid about the shirt? You wanted to protect her innocence, did you? I don't think it would be very protected if she got the snot beaten out of her by some upset older black kids who didn't appreciate the educational lesson. You're an idiot! If you're going to fight racial prejudice, for the love of Pete, do it in a safe way. Don't send your kid out like a lamb to the slaughter to see what happens.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Rated S For Stupid
Three things about this class-action lawsuit filed against the makers of Grand Theft auto over hidden sex scenes:
That's about it, although thing no. 2 still amazes me.
- The leader of the legal team who got more than the actual people who filed claims has the last name of Lesser.
- A woman who bought the game for her kid had no idea there was stealing in it! Brenda Stanhouse, are you stupid?
- And these scenes have to be dug out with third-party software or hardware. You don't just get one if you score a bunch of points. So what's the big deal? Those who want to find them are seriously looking for them. We're killing cops in this game. What's the big deal over a little sex?
That's about it, although thing no. 2 still amazes me.
It's a Nice DayTo, Start Bidding
To Kelly Grey:
Hmmm. Do you really think auctioning off a bride's maid's spot in your wedding party is a good idea? I mean, I guess it could work, but so much could go so wrong. You're putting a lot of trust in a random stranger. And, what will you say when you look at the pictures years later? "Oh there's my sister, and my cousin, and my best friend...and that woman...what was her name? Jen? No. Maybe it was Julie. I don't know. That EBay chick."
If you're so in need of keeping the costs way down, do you think maybe waiting until you have saved some dough might be a smarter plan? This whole bride's maid auction thing might work out and you could make a new friend, but oh boy, I can see so much going wrong with this.
Hmmm. Do you really think auctioning off a bride's maid's spot in your wedding party is a good idea? I mean, I guess it could work, but so much could go so wrong. You're putting a lot of trust in a random stranger. And, what will you say when you look at the pictures years later? "Oh there's my sister, and my cousin, and my best friend...and that woman...what was her name? Jen? No. Maybe it was Julie. I don't know. That EBay chick."
If you're so in need of keeping the costs way down, do you think maybe waiting until you have saved some dough might be a smarter plan? This whole bride's maid auction thing might work out and you could make a new friend, but oh boy, I can see so much going wrong with this.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Great Moments In Laziness
I've just discovered the greatest invention since
the beer launching fridge.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
the R/C Drinks Cooler!
I'm sure you'd have to spend a small fortune on batteries, but they cost less than shoes, and think of the walking you'll save.
the beer launching fridge.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
the R/C Drinks Cooler!
Specifically designed to expedite the delivery of cold lager to waiting mitts, this nifty battery-operated ice bucket is the ultimate in decadence for any self-respecting layabout. Simply fill it with ice, bung in the beers (or, heaven forbid, something non-alcoholic) and relax as you dispatch its lagery contents to fellow boozers (up to 30ft away) via a bottle top inspired handheld transmitter.
Featuring four sure-grip wheels, the R/C Drinks Cooler is capable of transporting up to twelve bottles or ten cans forwards, backwards, left and right, so you can whizz beers in any direction without having to ask your scantily-clad supermodel grape-danglers to give it a helping hand. Friends will be amazed by both your indolence and your ingenuity as you manoeuvre this sturdy R2D2-esque vehicle around your pad. It's the ideal way to show off at summer soirees. Who needs catering staff when you've got a hi-tech droid butler?
I'm sure you'd have to spend a small fortune on batteries, but they cost less than shoes, and think of the walking you'll save.
Creepy
The story of kids being trained to perform sex shows is scary enough. Now I hear they've been left in the care of someone who has been charged with sexually assaulting a child 18 years ago. Ug. It makes me shiver. I know he was just charged last week. That had better turn out to be not true, or those kids may be betrayed all over again. May? If he's done that before, they will be. That would have been his plan. Easy prey! Of course, he's not guilty yet, but I'm worried.
Whose Day?
Hey. Here's a message to all the Scottish teachers who decided to ban Father's Day Card-making in their schools because some kids don't have daddy and they'll feel left out. You can't shield them from father's day. It's freaking everywhere. Won't it be even more obvious to little Johnny that his classmates are not being allowed to make cards, and it's all because he doesn't have a dad to give a card to? Even if it's more than just little Johnny who doesn't have a dad, kids think of themselves as the centre of the universe. They'll think it's all because of them. Isn't that worse than letting things go on as normal? Maybe little Johnny could make something else instead! This is so dumb, especially since Mother's day is still acknowledged. What about little Suzy who doesn't have a mom. It happens.
I'm Voting Republican
Ok, I'm not since I don't live in the States, but all of my American friends had better be. There are all kinds of reasons why,
just watch!
just watch!
Some People Never Learn
For the first time in a while I can say that I really enjoyed an episode of Raw. there was some decent action, the Million Dollar Mania stuff didn't annoy me to the point of wanting to do harm to people, and the draft, while in the grand scheme of things it's meaningless since WWE moves people from brand to brand at will, did offer up some interesting possibilities at least until the writing team fucks everything up.
But since it wouldn't be the Vomit Comet if somebody wasn't complaining about something, here goes.
Why are they killing Vince McMahon again, and why are they doing it basically right on the 1 year anniversary of
the Benoit tragedy?
I haven't talked to anybody other than Carin who doesn't know anything about wrestling other than what she picks up through me and I haven't read any reactions to it, but I find it impossible to believe that we weren't the only ones watching the set cave in on him and thinking ok, Vince is dead in June again, who in the wrestling business is going to kill his family this year?
I'd love to know how anybody thought this would make for good TV. At another time of year it might have, but right now it comes off as flat out creepy and insensitive.
But since it wouldn't be the Vomit Comet if somebody wasn't complaining about something, here goes.
Why are they killing Vince McMahon again, and why are they doing it basically right on the 1 year anniversary of
the Benoit tragedy?
I haven't talked to anybody other than Carin who doesn't know anything about wrestling other than what she picks up through me and I haven't read any reactions to it, but I find it impossible to believe that we weren't the only ones watching the set cave in on him and thinking ok, Vince is dead in June again, who in the wrestling business is going to kill his family this year?
I'd love to know how anybody thought this would make for good TV. At another time of year it might have, but right now it comes off as flat out creepy and insensitive.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Kibble-Grading System
In the comments section under my dog first-aid post, W.s.G. mentioned a grading system for kibble. I asked her to send it to me, and she did. So here it is. It's interesting to see how some foods horribly, horribly flunk.
She said an easy way to get lists of ingredients in most kibbles is to go to the dog food project forum and search under the dry foods section.
Thanks W.s.G. You may have helped a lot of people.
How to grade your dog's food: (Some brands are done at the very bottom]
Start with a grade of 100:
1) For every listing of "by-product", subtract 10 points
2) For every non-specific animal source ("meat" or "poultry", meat, meal or fat) reference, subtract 10 points
3) If the food contains BHA, BHT, or ethoxyquin, subtract 10 points
4) For every grain "mill run" or non-specific grain source,subtract 5 points
5) If the same grain ingredient is used 2 or more times in the first five ingredients (i.e. "ground brown rice", "brewer's rice", "rice flour" are all the same grain), subtract 5 points
6) If the protein sources are not meat meal and there are less than 2 meats in the top 3 ingredients, subtract 3 points
7) If it contains any artificial colorants, subtract 3 points
8 ) If it contains ground corn or whole grain corn, subtract 3points
9) If corn is listed in the top 5 ingredients, subtract 2 morepoints
10) If the food contains any animal fat other than fish oil,subtract 2 points
11) If lamb is the only animal protein source (unless your dog is allergic to other protein sources), subtract 2 points
12) If it contains soy or soybeans, subtract 2 points
13) If it contains wheat (unless you know that your dog isn't allergic to wheat), subtract 2 points
14) If it contains beef (unless you know that your dog isn't allergic to beef), subtract 1 point
15) If it contains salt, subtract 1 point
Extra Credit:
1) If any of the meat sources are organic, add 5 points
2) If the food is endorsed by any major breed group or nutritionist, add 5 points
3) If the food is baked not extruded, add 5 points
4) If the food contains probiotics, add 3 points
5) If the food contains fruit, add 3 points
6) If the food contains vegetables (NOT corn or other grains), add 3 points
7) If the animal sources are hormone-free and antibiotic-free, add 2 points
8 ) If the food contains barley, add 2 points
9) If the food contains flax seed oil (not just the seeds), add 2 points
10) If the food contains oats or oatmeal, add 1 point
11) If the food contains sunflower oil, add 1 point
12) For every different specific animal protein source (other than the first one; count "chicken" and "chicken meal" as only one protein source, but "chicken" and "" as 2 different sources), add 1 point
13) If it contains glucosamine and chondroitin, add 1 point
14) If the vegetables have been tested for pesticides and are pesticide-free, add 1 point
94-100+ = A
86-93 = B
78-85 = C
70-77 = D
69 = F
Dog Food scores:
Authority Harvest Baked / Score 116 A+
Bil-Jac Select / Score 68 F
Canidae / Score 112 A+
Chicken Soup Senior / Score 115 A+
Diamond Maintenance / Score 64 F
Diamond Lamb Meal & Rice / Score 92 B
Diamond Large Breed 60+ Formula / Score 99 A
Dick Van Patten's Natural Balance Ultra Premium / Score 122 A+
Dick Van Patten's Duck and Potato / Score 106 A+
Foundations / Score 106 A+
Hund-n-Flocken Adult Dog (lamb) by Solid Gold / Score 93 D
Iams Lamb Meal & Rice Formula Premium / Score 73 D
Innova Dog / Score 114 A+
Innova Evo / Score 114 A+
Kirkland Signature Chicken, Rice, and Vegetables / Score 110 A+
Nutrisource Lamb and Rice / Score 87 B
Nutro Natural Choice Large Breed Puppy / Score 87 B
Pet Gold Adult with Lamb & Rice / Score 23 F
ProPlan Natural Turkey & Barley / Score 103 A+
Purina Benful / Score 17 F
Purina Dog / Score 62 F
Purina Come-n-Get It / Score 16 F
Royal Canin Bulldog / Score 100 A+
Royal Canin Natural Blend Adult / Score 106 A+
Sensible Choice Chicken and Rice / Score 97 A
Science Diet Advanced Protein Senior 7+ / Score 63 F
Science Diet for Large Breed Puppies / Score 69 F
Wellness Super5 Mix Chicken / Score 110 A+
Wolfking Adult Dog (bison) by Solid Gold / Score 97 A
She said an easy way to get lists of ingredients in most kibbles is to go to the dog food project forum and search under the dry foods section.
Thanks W.s.G. You may have helped a lot of people.
Skullcrushed Craigslist
Boo hoo hoo! Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo! Why am I crying? Well, Craigslist changed their audio equivalent for their visual word-verf box, and it's a. bad, and b. no longer has the bit from Jo Co's skullcrusher mountain. Man, it's a bitch to use now. It took me three attempts. I pity anyone with hearing difficulties trying to use it. I've emailed them to ask them to please at least repeat the string once, as Google does. If you have similar feelings, email them at help@craigslist.org and tell them how you feel.
Well, you know what they say about all good things...they must come to an end.
Well, you know what they say about all good things...they must come to an end.
Not A Very Apt Name
God Lucky Howard can't be his natural name. Whether it is or it isn't, it's time for a name change since he was busted for selling cocaine near a church, and he can't be that lucky since he's been busted for things before.
A Trusting Soul
Would you lend your car to a man you had
- only known for a month
- who you met through your son who is now in jail
- and you didn't know his name, you only knew him as Weasel?
Don't Open That Wide!
Oh boy, here comes Wesley Meyers into the ranks of the horrible dentists files. How in hell do you drop not 1, but 2 tools down the same patient's throat? How big was this poor old guy's throat? After it happened once, wouldn't you be way more careful? Why did the old guy still go back to him? After needing a colonoscopy to get a screwdriver out of my guts, I don't think I'd be a repeat customer.
It's A Storm For Sure!
Uh, how about waiting until you offend some folks with epilepsy before changing the term for having a meeting from brainstorm to thought shower, because now, you've offended them. Yeah, political correctness is nuts.
Learn, Don't Sue!
You know what? If the police hadn't awakened Troy Molde to tell him that his front door was unlocked, and his back door and garage were open, he would have sued them for not telling him until his house was invaded and maybe one of the kids he had in his care was injured. He feels violated now? Just wait until something really bad happens.
I'm Getting Mixed Messages From The Name
Oh my god. First we heard of guys named Lynn, then there was that woman named Kyle, and now I've met a guy named Gail! Guy? Gail? Yup!
On a couple of lists I was on, I'd keep seeing emails from "Gail the U.S. male". For a while, I didn't check the spelling of male, and I assumed it was m a i l. Then one day, I looked, and it was so m a l e! So I emailed Gail, and sure enough, Gail is a dude!
Has anyone else met a dude named Gail? Ever?
On a couple of lists I was on, I'd keep seeing emails from "Gail the U.S. male". For a while, I didn't check the spelling of male, and I assumed it was m a i l. Then one day, I looked, and it was so m a l e! So I emailed Gail, and sure enough, Gail is a dude!
Has anyone else met a dude named Gail? Ever?
Goodbye George
I'm sure many of you have heard by now that George Carlin, arguably the greatest comic of all time, died yesterday at age 71.
Right from the day that one of my friends snuck me a copy of the A Place for My Stuff album when I was 10 years old, Carlin became one of my favourite people. When I say that I don't just mean in comedy, I mean in the world. My friends and I thought it was cool that he said fuck a lot, but I also knew there was something more there. As the years went by and I was able to hear more of his work and think about it in a more mature way, I realized just how much there was. It might sound crazy to some of you, but George Carlin routines have a lot to do with why I am the way I am. Everything from being the silly wacky guy to being the ranting type or the one that picks everything apart looking for something to make fun of, there's a little bit of Carlin in all of it. I wish I had even a quarter of the talent he had, but whatever I do have, I owe a lot of it to him.
I'm sure many people will write many better tributes than I ever could, so I'll leave you with
this clip,
which is not only hilariously funny, but pretty much spot on.
Thanks for the memories George, and Joe bless you.
Right from the day that one of my friends snuck me a copy of the A Place for My Stuff album when I was 10 years old, Carlin became one of my favourite people. When I say that I don't just mean in comedy, I mean in the world. My friends and I thought it was cool that he said fuck a lot, but I also knew there was something more there. As the years went by and I was able to hear more of his work and think about it in a more mature way, I realized just how much there was. It might sound crazy to some of you, but George Carlin routines have a lot to do with why I am the way I am. Everything from being the silly wacky guy to being the ranting type or the one that picks everything apart looking for something to make fun of, there's a little bit of Carlin in all of it. I wish I had even a quarter of the talent he had, but whatever I do have, I owe a lot of it to him.
I'm sure many people will write many better tributes than I ever could, so I'll leave you with
this clip,
which is not only hilariously funny, but pretty much spot on.
Thanks for the memories George, and Joe bless you.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Seatbelts and Dogs?
There was something else I heard in the dog first-aid course that made me think seriously. Well, it was a combination of what the instructor said, and what Jill wrote about what happens if you ride around in your car sans seatbelt. Corinna showed me this seatbelt she has for her dogs. Apparently, it doubles as a walking harness if you needed it for that purpose. The point is, it has a soft fleesey part that goes under the belly, and a loopy part that you put the seatbelt in, and, snap snap! Your dog isn't going to be a projectile in an accident.
I've heard all kinds of arguments for and against doggy seatbelts. Some say the dog is safer on the floor at your feet anyway. But I worry about airbags crushing the dog. They're not thinking there's a canine there. Some say the seatbelt will make the dog harder to extricate in a crash. On the pro side, there's the whole not wanting your pooch to be a flying pooch, and the prevention of death by airbag.
So...I put it to all of you who transport dogs on a regular basis, especially Jill. Do you strap him/her in? If so, what product do you use? I have to ask Corinna what hers was called again.
I've heard all kinds of arguments for and against doggy seatbelts. Some say the dog is safer on the floor at your feet anyway. But I worry about airbags crushing the dog. They're not thinking there's a canine there. Some say the seatbelt will make the dog harder to extricate in a crash. On the pro side, there's the whole not wanting your pooch to be a flying pooch, and the prevention of death by airbag.
So...I put it to all of you who transport dogs on a regular basis, especially Jill. Do you strap him/her in? If so, what product do you use? I have to ask Corinna what hers was called again.
The Dog First-Aid course
I honestly don't know why this post is taking me so long to write. I started writing it a few weeks ago, only got a couple of lines in and then my computer took a poop, taking it down with it. So here I go again.
Remember when I said I was going to take a dog first-aid course? Well, I took Corinna Bollmann's course, and found myself pondering a lot more than first-aid. I did end up being the only student in the course, but that was kinda cool. It was a really good course, even though some details I already knew.
She went over how we should check our dogs from time to time to make sure everything feels right. Yuppers, do that all the time. She talked about a bunch of people foods that were bad for dogs, like grapes, walnuts, broccoli. She talked about ways to prevent your dog from getting something it shouldn't, like something dropped on the floor or an electrical chord, etc. One thing she told me that still gives me the shivers whenever I think about it, *feels my arms get covered in goose bumps* is the idea of the dangers of those shredders that start to shred as soon as you put something in them. Dogs' ears, apparently, can fit really good into them, *shiver shiver shiver*!
It's amazing how similar some parts of dog first-aid are to human first-aid. Landmarking for the spot to do compressions is really easy. But I wish they had doggy dummies that made clicking noises like the human ones do to tell you when you've gone hard enough. I didn't leave with uber confidence in the knowledge that I was doing compressions at the right strength. I guess in an emergency, too hard is better than being a wuss about it.
I did find that bandaging a dog's paw seemed easier than that of a human arm. Trix took it amazingly well. She even tollerated me bandaging her ears and then holding the bandage on with a pair of pantiHoes with the legs cut off. We did the tail the same way. That would have been useful in preventing her from wagging when she had rudder tail. I wish I had pictures of Trix in pantiHoes. Silly doggy. Good thing she's female.
But here's the part where I was left to ponder more things than first-aid. This woman is very holistic-oriented, and has done a lot of research into what she thinks is good for dogs. She doesn't feed kibble at all to the dogs she adopts, she feeds raw. I don't think I'm brave enough to do that, but she did say something weird. She said, "What are you feeding Trixie? I'm going to guess, by the feel of her coate, Iams or Eukanuba." Gulp, you've got it. She explained how Eukanuba was one of the worst foods to feed because it has so much grain in it, which dogs apparently can't digest, so it cuts down on the amount of nutritious stuff they're getting, and they use roadkills and sick animals in the kibble. I had known some of this, and was already contemplating switching foods, but I had no idea what to switch to, or how to do it, or what to look for in a good food. She explained that if the first few ingredients were an actual meat and not meat byproduct, and there wasn't some corn or grain right up near the top, that was a good sign. She even recommended a first food to try. She called it "Orijen Fish", but when I google that, all I get are forums. I see something that says "Orijen Six Fish and Sea Vegetables", but I'm not sure if that's the same thing as "Orijen Fish".
So, ... I took the plunge. I switched slowly, like they always say to do, and noticed a few things write away . First, she love love loves her new food! I have never seen her jaws snap in anticipation for food when I fed her the old stuff. As an aside, it's comforting when it says it's fish, and it smells like fish. Second, I can feed less of it and she seems satisfied. I've had her weighed once since, and she's still a good weight. Third, she seems to have even more energy. She's not crazy, but we can go on areally long walk, take a rest, and go on another walk of a pretty good length and she still feels like she has one hell of a lot of pep. She always had pep, but this is even more. She was never much of a huge scavenger, but she's even less so now. I've also noticed her coat feels different. She's right, it does change the feel of her coat.
She mentioned a few other kinds of food that she said were good. They were: Innova EVO, Taste of the Wild, Fromm and Horizon-Legacy. Has anybody heard of them? I had heard of some in a good light, so that sounds good. I still have to do some googling about them. She said to keep switching between the good quality foods, slowly as usual, to give her variety in her diet. That'll be confusing, but if it means a healthier dog, I'll do it.
The only sucky part about this food switch is I still have a bunch of old Eukanuba kibble. I don't really want to just heave it. If someone can find a use for it, I'd love to give it to them. I don't think shelters in the area will take it since it's been opened, but I guess I can ask.
There were some other things she told me that I thought were worth a try, but I haven't either needed to yet, or ... I haven't got them into my routine. One thing she said was good to help prevent the start of an infection was to get organic honey from a local beekeeper and add it to her water. She also said it was good to rub on a wound or some such. I have the honey. Thank you Stone Store! She said it's good to help people who have allergies to bring down the reaction.
She recommended something that I should have started on right away, but it's something I have to get into the routine. She said to buy apple cidar vinegar "with mother." That's what it's called. Apparently it means it's unfiltered and cloudy. So I did. She said to add a couple of capfuls to her drinking water, or for humans, a capful to a glass of juice every morning, and it would repel blackflies and mosquitos. She says she uses it, and she can put her arm through a bunch of bugs and they run away. She says you have to do this every day through the bug season. I couldn't bring myself to do it because I'm a wuss. I thought it would make her water taste nasty and then she wouldn't drink it. But I also never tried it on myself either. So I'm a double wuss. I'm regretting it now, especially with the vicious bugs this year.
There were two things she said that make sense, but I still am conflicted about them. She says vets tend to overvaccinate, and the chemicals in those vaccines, and the mercury, can do more harm to your dog. I get that, but I'm also too afraid to undervaccinate. I would never forgive myself if I caused my dog to get some horrible disease.
She also said a natural way to repel parasites, instead of giving flea/tic/heartworm preventative is to give the dog a few drops of grapefruit seed extract every day for 14 days before every third full moon until 10 days after. I don't think I'm brave enough to give up my flea/tic/heartworm preventative though, even though googling seems to give lots of benefits of the other. Maybe it's a guilt thing. But I would also feel guilty if I'm poisoning my dog with this stuff. Has anyone else done this whole grapefruit seed extract thing?
So, that's my woof first-aid course in a nutshell. I learned a lot more than first-aid, and it was pretty neat. Everybody probably thinks I'm pretty crazy to even give this stuff some thought, but I've always believed in keeping an open mind.
Remember when I said I was going to take a dog first-aid course? Well, I took Corinna Bollmann's course, and found myself pondering a lot more than first-aid. I did end up being the only student in the course, but that was kinda cool. It was a really good course, even though some details I already knew.
She went over how we should check our dogs from time to time to make sure everything feels right. Yuppers, do that all the time. She talked about a bunch of people foods that were bad for dogs, like grapes, walnuts, broccoli. She talked about ways to prevent your dog from getting something it shouldn't, like something dropped on the floor or an electrical chord, etc. One thing she told me that still gives me the shivers whenever I think about it, *feels my arms get covered in goose bumps* is the idea of the dangers of those shredders that start to shred as soon as you put something in them. Dogs' ears, apparently, can fit really good into them, *shiver shiver shiver*!
It's amazing how similar some parts of dog first-aid are to human first-aid. Landmarking for the spot to do compressions is really easy. But I wish they had doggy dummies that made clicking noises like the human ones do to tell you when you've gone hard enough. I didn't leave with uber confidence in the knowledge that I was doing compressions at the right strength. I guess in an emergency, too hard is better than being a wuss about it.
I did find that bandaging a dog's paw seemed easier than that of a human arm. Trix took it amazingly well. She even tollerated me bandaging her ears and then holding the bandage on with a pair of pantiHoes with the legs cut off. We did the tail the same way. That would have been useful in preventing her from wagging when she had rudder tail. I wish I had pictures of Trix in pantiHoes. Silly doggy. Good thing she's female.
But here's the part where I was left to ponder more things than first-aid. This woman is very holistic-oriented, and has done a lot of research into what she thinks is good for dogs. She doesn't feed kibble at all to the dogs she adopts, she feeds raw. I don't think I'm brave enough to do that, but she did say something weird. She said, "What are you feeding Trixie? I'm going to guess, by the feel of her coate, Iams or Eukanuba." Gulp, you've got it. She explained how Eukanuba was one of the worst foods to feed because it has so much grain in it, which dogs apparently can't digest, so it cuts down on the amount of nutritious stuff they're getting, and they use roadkills and sick animals in the kibble. I had known some of this, and was already contemplating switching foods, but I had no idea what to switch to, or how to do it, or what to look for in a good food. She explained that if the first few ingredients were an actual meat and not meat byproduct, and there wasn't some corn or grain right up near the top, that was a good sign. She even recommended a first food to try. She called it "Orijen Fish", but when I google that, all I get are forums. I see something that says "Orijen Six Fish and Sea Vegetables", but I'm not sure if that's the same thing as "Orijen Fish".
So, ... I took the plunge. I switched slowly, like they always say to do, and noticed a few things write away . First, she love love loves her new food! I have never seen her jaws snap in anticipation for food when I fed her the old stuff. As an aside, it's comforting when it says it's fish, and it smells like fish. Second, I can feed less of it and she seems satisfied. I've had her weighed once since, and she's still a good weight. Third, she seems to have even more energy. She's not crazy, but we can go on areally long walk, take a rest, and go on another walk of a pretty good length and she still feels like she has one hell of a lot of pep. She always had pep, but this is even more. She was never much of a huge scavenger, but she's even less so now. I've also noticed her coat feels different. She's right, it does change the feel of her coat.
She mentioned a few other kinds of food that she said were good. They were: Innova EVO, Taste of the Wild, Fromm and Horizon-Legacy. Has anybody heard of them? I had heard of some in a good light, so that sounds good. I still have to do some googling about them. She said to keep switching between the good quality foods, slowly as usual, to give her variety in her diet. That'll be confusing, but if it means a healthier dog, I'll do it.
The only sucky part about this food switch is I still have a bunch of old Eukanuba kibble. I don't really want to just heave it. If someone can find a use for it, I'd love to give it to them. I don't think shelters in the area will take it since it's been opened, but I guess I can ask.
There were some other things she told me that I thought were worth a try, but I haven't either needed to yet, or ... I haven't got them into my routine. One thing she said was good to help prevent the start of an infection was to get organic honey from a local beekeeper and add it to her water. She also said it was good to rub on a wound or some such. I have the honey. Thank you Stone Store! She said it's good to help people who have allergies to bring down the reaction.
She recommended something that I should have started on right away, but it's something I have to get into the routine. She said to buy apple cidar vinegar "with mother." That's what it's called. Apparently it means it's unfiltered and cloudy. So I did. She said to add a couple of capfuls to her drinking water, or for humans, a capful to a glass of juice every morning, and it would repel blackflies and mosquitos. She says she uses it, and she can put her arm through a bunch of bugs and they run away. She says you have to do this every day through the bug season. I couldn't bring myself to do it because I'm a wuss. I thought it would make her water taste nasty and then she wouldn't drink it. But I also never tried it on myself either. So I'm a double wuss. I'm regretting it now, especially with the vicious bugs this year.
There were two things she said that make sense, but I still am conflicted about them. She says vets tend to overvaccinate, and the chemicals in those vaccines, and the mercury, can do more harm to your dog. I get that, but I'm also too afraid to undervaccinate. I would never forgive myself if I caused my dog to get some horrible disease.
She also said a natural way to repel parasites, instead of giving flea/tic/heartworm preventative is to give the dog a few drops of grapefruit seed extract every day for 14 days before every third full moon until 10 days after. I don't think I'm brave enough to give up my flea/tic/heartworm preventative though, even though googling seems to give lots of benefits of the other. Maybe it's a guilt thing. But I would also feel guilty if I'm poisoning my dog with this stuff. Has anyone else done this whole grapefruit seed extract thing?
So, that's my woof first-aid course in a nutshell. I learned a lot more than first-aid, and it was pretty neat. Everybody probably thinks I'm pretty crazy to even give this stuff some thought, but I've always believed in keeping an open mind.
Am I Weird For Thinking This Is Funny?
I had this happen to me the other day when I took that big walk, and woohoo, didn't meet my doom by falling down a giant hole in the street or getting creamed by a Tim Horton's customer because I mocked God. Anyway, I got to an intersection, and for some reason, it was kinda hard to tell when it was my time to go, so I was standing there. A guy got out and offered to help me across. He said it was good to go, so we crossed the street. Then he asked me if I knew where I was. I answered him, and he said "Ok good. See ya." And that was it. But a couple seconds later, I couldn't stop chuckling. Both of those questions were fine questions, and he was a nice dude and all, but shouldn't they get asked in reverse order? I mean, if the guy's worried that I may be lost, shouldn't we establish that I know where I am before helping me across the street and potentially getting me further lost or something? It's kind of like asking someone if they need help into the ambulance and then asking them if they're hurt. That would be weird!
The funniest part of the whole thing was I accidentally said I was at a different intersection than I was. I hope the poor fellow didn't go back to his car and then go "Jesus! This isn't that light! She *is* lost! But...she's also gone!" If the poor fellow finds this blog, I'm fine, and I do appreciate the help. I just thought the whole thing was mildly amusing.
The funniest part of the whole thing was I accidentally said I was at a different intersection than I was. I hope the poor fellow didn't go back to his car and then go "Jesus! This isn't that light! She *is* lost! But...she's also gone!" If the poor fellow finds this blog, I'm fine, and I do appreciate the help. I just thought the whole thing was mildly amusing.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Don't Ground Me Or I'll Take You To Court!
Ok, since when should a 12-year-old kid take being grounded by their parents to court and win?
From the way the story goes, the dad said she could go on a school trip if she was good all year. She wasn't. Among other things, she posted pictures of herself on a dating site. So he said she couldn't go. So she stormed off to her mom's and took dear old dad to court, how she could afford this I don't know. But for some reason, the judge said his punishment was excessive, and since she was staying with her mom, he had no power. What the hell? He's appealing it. I hope he wins. Otherwise, I see bad things on the horizon.
From the way the story goes, the dad said she could go on a school trip if she was good all year. She wasn't. Among other things, she posted pictures of herself on a dating site. So he said she couldn't go. So she stormed off to her mom's and took dear old dad to court, how she could afford this I don't know. But for some reason, the judge said his punishment was excessive, and since she was staying with her mom, he had no power. What the hell? He's appealing it. I hope he wins. Otherwise, I see bad things on the horizon.
Friday, June 20, 2008
So I Guess They Didn't Make The Sale Then?
Marcel Perot is a smooth operator. He decided to take a truck for a test drive. The salesman came with him, as he drove to the bank. He said he needed money to buy the truck. Well, I guess he did. But when he went in the bank, he decided to get his money by robbing it. Then he came back out, got in the truck and went to another gas station, I guess to rob it too. The salesman then got suspicious and called 911. Perot caught on, and took off. But I don't think he'll be hard to catch. Check out this description.
Gee, ya think those tattoos were a good idea now?
He has brown hair and brown eyes and several tattoos including a unicorn on his right shoulder, a dragon and panther on his left shoulder, and a serpent on his upper right arm.
Gee, ya think those tattoos were a good idea now?
Now His Whole Living-Room Is Cooked
Ok, this has got to go in the stupid cooking files. AT least this guy survived. Why would you keep a deep-fat fryer near your sofa? Well, Manuel Douglas now knows why this is a bad idea.
I still don't understand why police broke windows after they'd gotten him out. Maybe they thought there were more people in there? Anyway, they caused his living-room to flash over. Wooops!
I still don't understand why police broke windows after they'd gotten him out. Maybe they thought there were more people in there? Anyway, they caused his living-room to flash over. Wooops!
Here We Stand
Ever since the day I walked into a record store, heard
Costello Music
playing and bought it on the spot, I've been telling anybody who'll listen and a few people who won't how good
The Fratellis
are.
Well, now their second album,
Here We Stand
has come out, so I figured it wouldn't be right if I didn't tell everybody how it was.
The answer to the how is it question is sort of complicated. It's a good album and I'm happy with it, but I'm still disappointed. Costello Music it isn't, but to be fair, not much is. In my opinion that was far and away the best start to finish album to come along in years, and I haven't heard anything released since that even comes close.
That's not to say that the new one doesn't have it's fair share of greatness, because it does. "My Friend John", "Shameless" and "Tell Me A Lie" come immediately to mind, and there are quite a few others that I'm almost positive will grow on me after a few more listens and a few more drinks.
Another thing that's upsetting me right now is that I just realized that my version of the album is missing a song. The website lists 12 tracks while I've only got 11. I don't know who's to blame, but whoever decided that we Canadians didn't need to hear
Jesus Stole My Baby
can go fuck himself long and hard, preferably while listening to music not nearly as cool as either Fratellis album.
I'm not sure how to end this, so I'll let you know that if you need me I'll be tooling around the internet looking for a song, and then I'll go on my merry way. Have a good afternoon, and buy this album.
Costello Music
playing and bought it on the spot, I've been telling anybody who'll listen and a few people who won't how good
The Fratellis
are.
Well, now their second album,
Here We Stand
has come out, so I figured it wouldn't be right if I didn't tell everybody how it was.
The answer to the how is it question is sort of complicated. It's a good album and I'm happy with it, but I'm still disappointed. Costello Music it isn't, but to be fair, not much is. In my opinion that was far and away the best start to finish album to come along in years, and I haven't heard anything released since that even comes close.
That's not to say that the new one doesn't have it's fair share of greatness, because it does. "My Friend John", "Shameless" and "Tell Me A Lie" come immediately to mind, and there are quite a few others that I'm almost positive will grow on me after a few more listens and a few more drinks.
Another thing that's upsetting me right now is that I just realized that my version of the album is missing a song. The website lists 12 tracks while I've only got 11. I don't know who's to blame, but whoever decided that we Canadians didn't need to hear
Jesus Stole My Baby
can go fuck himself long and hard, preferably while listening to music not nearly as cool as either Fratellis album.
I'm not sure how to end this, so I'll let you know that if you need me I'll be tooling around the internet looking for a song, and then I'll go on my merry way. Have a good afternoon, and buy this album.
In God, We Trust....Or Else
I received an email from someone I've talked about here in less than flattering terms. That email set off a fuse, Here's the resulting ca boom! I know I'm bound to offend some people. Oh well. Off I go.
To summarize, this email went on about the unfortunate fates of "those who mocked God." It listed 8 people who, in some way or another, said they didn't need god or some such. Then they died painful deaths. This is the one that pisses me off more than any of the others.
Riiiiight! Can you feel it? Can you? The seething, boiling of the blood? If that mother was any kind of mother, she wouldn't have let her daughter get in that fucking car. Any good mother wouldn't let her go with a pile of drunks, that's why this story is nothing more than a fucking fake designed to try and convert the ones who aren't already spouting this garbage out of fear that they'll be next if they don't start believing immediately. And why in hell were they carrying around a crate of eggs? I can just imagine the kids' thoughts that night. "Wooo! Let's go shopping, and then get wasted and party. Yeah!!!"
What in hell gives bible-thumpers like this the feeling that they can send this shit and it's ok? How would they like it if I wrote something like this:
And unlike that email, every single one of those are true stories. Wasn't that...evil? Yes. Stupid? You betcha! Offensive? Damn right! How does it feel? Pretty low, if I actually meant those things. I wrestled with writing this because I feel like I'm disrespecting people who don't deserve to be disrespected. But you know what? Neither do the people held up as examples of what will happen to you if you don't say your Our Fathers every day. Shit happens to all kinds, not just people who mock God, or whatever.
And that, boys and girls, is one of the reasons why I cannot bring myself to be religious. What other power structures control their subjects by fear? I believe we call them dictatorships. Why would I voluntarily place myself under the rule of a dictator? Why would I want to live in fear knowing that if enough of us did something wrong, our leader would kill all of us but a chosen few? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that religion is bad and no one should believe in it. that would make me as bad as the bible-thumpers. If you can find comfort in it, go ahead. I can't, so please don't force it on me, ok?
Another major reason for not being a big fan of religion is its view of blind people. It's also the source of a lot of bafflement for me. Why are there so many religious blinks if we're viewed as unfit to come before the alter of God with a defect in our sight, or living punishments for our parents' sins? Why would we feel good about being guilted for being the way we are? The best that a religious blink could come up with was, "Oh that! That's in the old testament. Look at the new testament. We're gifts now." Huh?
This leads me to the third reason I can't make myself believe. There are too many contradictions. Love thy neighbour unless he's gay. Blind people are ug unless they're a gift. Judge not lest ye be judged unless god told you to do otherwise. My head is spinning. It always had, always will.
As an aside, when I'm feeling especially giddy and somehow I start thinking about Noah's Ark, who knows why I would think about such a thing, an amusing thought comes to mind. I imagine Noah ushering in the animals 2 by 2. I would assume he would want a male and a female of each species. I guess that's obvious when you're dealing with apes and cows and such, but how does one check insects for sex? Wouldn't you crush a few before you established what they were?
Hmmm. I'm going to go for a big walk down to a plaza with a Tim Horton's drive-through in it. I just mocked god. Maybe I'm gonna die! If the email I was sent is true, I should be scraped off the parking lot. But something tells me I'll be back to offend some more folks in the near future.
To summarize, this email went on about the unfortunate fates of "those who mocked God." It listed 8 people who, in some way or another, said they didn't need god or some such. Then they died painful deaths. This is the one that pisses me off more than any of the others.
In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend. The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car: "My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You." She responded: "Only If He (God) Travels In The Trunk, Cause Inside Here....It's Already Full "
Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact.
The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken.
Riiiiight! Can you feel it? Can you? The seething, boiling of the blood? If that mother was any kind of mother, she wouldn't have let her daughter get in that fucking car. Any good mother wouldn't let her go with a pile of drunks, that's why this story is nothing more than a fucking fake designed to try and convert the ones who aren't already spouting this garbage out of fear that they'll be next if they don't start believing immediately. And why in hell were they carrying around a crate of eggs? I can just imagine the kids' thoughts that night. "Wooo! Let's go shopping, and then get wasted and party. Yeah!!!"
What in hell gives bible-thumpers like this the feeling that they can send this shit and it's ok? How would they like it if I wrote something like this:
Don't believe in god, or you'll die. Here are just a few examples of those who prayed to god faithfully, and got rewarded for their faith with horrible deaths.
A neighbour I had was a very religious man. He gave to the church every month. He prayed. He believed in the hereafter, and handing all his problems to God. How did God repay him? He gave him cancer of the mouth and throat. At the end, the man couldn't talk and could only pass notes to people. After a long period of suffering, he died at the age of 51! See what God can do for you?
Another friend had always been deeply faithful to god. She would sing hymns, pray, and speak of not much else other than her love for God. When she was still young, she developed a brain tumour. When doctors removed it, they severed her optic nerve, making her go blind. Another tumour grew back, and grew with a vengeance. When they finally removed it, it was the size of a large orange. The only problem was once it was removed, she fell into a coma. She never woke up, and they pulled the plug. So don't believe in god, or you could get cancer, and your belief will only feed the tumour, and they may pull the plug on you.
I once new an older lady who loved life and God. She loved God so much that she would not say Jesus Christ. She would say Jeepers Twist. How did she meet her end? A short but dibilitating, painful battle with pancreatic cancer. At the end, she had to be on morphine to ease the pain. I guess God wasn't doing enough, was He?
There was a young man who was going to go away to school to be a priest. He was mowing his lawn, and was creamed by a truck. They took him to the hospital, and saved his life, but when he awoke from his coma, he wasn't the same man. He had to relearn how to walk, talk, and think. He had the inteligence of a small child. So don't believe in God. He may have locked the lion's jaw for Daniel, but don't expect him to stop a truck for you.
And unlike that email, every single one of those are true stories. Wasn't that...evil? Yes. Stupid? You betcha! Offensive? Damn right! How does it feel? Pretty low, if I actually meant those things. I wrestled with writing this because I feel like I'm disrespecting people who don't deserve to be disrespected. But you know what? Neither do the people held up as examples of what will happen to you if you don't say your Our Fathers every day. Shit happens to all kinds, not just people who mock God, or whatever.
And that, boys and girls, is one of the reasons why I cannot bring myself to be religious. What other power structures control their subjects by fear? I believe we call them dictatorships. Why would I voluntarily place myself under the rule of a dictator? Why would I want to live in fear knowing that if enough of us did something wrong, our leader would kill all of us but a chosen few? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that religion is bad and no one should believe in it. that would make me as bad as the bible-thumpers. If you can find comfort in it, go ahead. I can't, so please don't force it on me, ok?
Another major reason for not being a big fan of religion is its view of blind people. It's also the source of a lot of bafflement for me. Why are there so many religious blinks if we're viewed as unfit to come before the alter of God with a defect in our sight, or living punishments for our parents' sins? Why would we feel good about being guilted for being the way we are? The best that a religious blink could come up with was, "Oh that! That's in the old testament. Look at the new testament. We're gifts now." Huh?
This leads me to the third reason I can't make myself believe. There are too many contradictions. Love thy neighbour unless he's gay. Blind people are ug unless they're a gift. Judge not lest ye be judged unless god told you to do otherwise. My head is spinning. It always had, always will.
As an aside, when I'm feeling especially giddy and somehow I start thinking about Noah's Ark, who knows why I would think about such a thing, an amusing thought comes to mind. I imagine Noah ushering in the animals 2 by 2. I would assume he would want a male and a female of each species. I guess that's obvious when you're dealing with apes and cows and such, but how does one check insects for sex? Wouldn't you crush a few before you established what they were?
Hmmm. I'm going to go for a big walk down to a plaza with a Tim Horton's drive-through in it. I just mocked god. Maybe I'm gonna die! If the email I was sent is true, I should be scraped off the parking lot. But something tells me I'll be back to offend some more folks in the near future.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Definitely Unthinkable, Definitely Not Unsinkable
This story creates more questions than it could possibly hope to answer.
Apparently, a bunch of high school grads booked a week-long vacation through a travel agent, including an event where they went snorkling from a catamaran. Everything was going great until the boat began to sink.
Ok, why was the boat sinking? That was never explained. Why did the crew jump off without helping the kids, including one who had a broken arm? They just said "save your lives!" and plunged in the water! Some crew they've got there! Were there not enough lifejackets? Why else would a kid almost drown? And finally, whatever happened to the kid who almost drowned, who was left brain dead on life-support in mexico of all places? Why was everyone else comfortable going on a cruise the next day? It was like they forgot she existed.
Eek. I don't think this little news story will do wonders for GradCity, the company who booked the trip.
Apparently, a bunch of high school grads booked a week-long vacation through a travel agent, including an event where they went snorkling from a catamaran. Everything was going great until the boat began to sink.
Ok, why was the boat sinking? That was never explained. Why did the crew jump off without helping the kids, including one who had a broken arm? They just said "save your lives!" and plunged in the water! Some crew they've got there! Were there not enough lifejackets? Why else would a kid almost drown? And finally, whatever happened to the kid who almost drowned, who was left brain dead on life-support in mexico of all places? Why was everyone else comfortable going on a cruise the next day? It was like they forgot she existed.
Eek. I don't think this little news story will do wonders for GradCity, the company who booked the trip.
How Appropriate
A guy by the name of Phillip Toledano has put together a book full of photos of and stories about
phone sex operators.
It sounds like an interesting concept, but to be honest, once I saw that this book all about people who get other people off over the telephone for a living was being published by
Twin Palms,
I had trouble paying attention to the rest of the story.
phone sex operators.
It sounds like an interesting concept, but to be honest, once I saw that this book all about people who get other people off over the telephone for a living was being published by
Twin Palms,
I had trouble paying attention to the rest of the story.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
He Likes To What?
I had no idea that there was so much funny business happening down on Sesame Street.
Ok, aside from Bert and Ernie, but everybody knows that.
By the way, I can now confirm that Greg Twilly is good for exactly 2 things. This video and the $20 he'll be giving me once the Mariners finish shitting the bed this season.
Ok, aside from Bert and Ernie, but everybody knows that.
By the way, I can now confirm that Greg Twilly is good for exactly 2 things. This video and the $20 he'll be giving me once the Mariners finish shitting the bed this season.
Call Me Now For A Free Children's Aid Investigation
Ok, here goes. I gave myself some time after I read the story before I posted, in hopes that I would be able to be a little more articulate. Apparently, that's not happening. Every time I think about this, my brain flits around and all I get are short snippets of thought. The words "What the fuck?" and "who in their right mind would..." and "duty to report? that's bullshit!" keep resurfacing. Must twist brain into forming coherent thought.
It was a pretty ordinary morning at first. Colleen Leduc took her 11-year-old daughter Victoria to school. She's not a big fan of this school, the people don't seem to understand her autistic daughter's needs, but it's all she can do. She doesn't have the money to get her daughter into the intensive therapy that she needs.
Anyway, she dropped her off, and not long after, she received a frantic call to come back. When she returned, there was a meeting convened in which the educational assistant that worked with Victoria was making allegations that she had been sexually abused by someone between the ages of 23 and 26. Not only that, the school had already called Children's Aid. Ok, fine. But where did these allegations come from? The assistant had been to see a psychic, and that's what the psychic said. She said she had seen some behaviour in Victoria that had made her worry as well, but that turned out to be related to a bladder infection she had, and not to anything sexual.
Now, are you starting to have the same thought snippets? I appreciate that the assistant was concerned, especially when Victoria probably can't communicate very well, but in a case where a little psychic birdy told her so, would the first action be to call Children's Aid? Wouldn't it be more rational to call a meeting, say "I know this is weird, but this is what was said. Does Victoria have any contact with anyone between the ages of 23 and 26?" People can say it's better to act fast, and the mother can say anything at a meeting. But the fact is, calling Children's Aid in without any evidence isn't going to help. They'll come, find nothing, and close the case. So, if something's happening, they would need more evidence to go on than the predictions of a psychic.
I love this little gem:
Luckily for Colleen and Victoria, Colleen had outfitted her kid with a GPS device that also recorded everything around her. This is because her daughter had been lost at school several times...stop the presses! Woe woe woe! Unless I'm reading the story wrong, this kid has a one-on-one assistant! How does a one-on-one assistant lose her only charge? I think that merits concern before some psychic prediction! I know kids with autism have a tendency to bolt, but that's why you have someone tagged to them. If the kid bolts, the assistant goes after them.
Anyway, this thing had everything recorded, and the recordings showed no funny-business was going on, so Children's Aid had no choice but to shrug their shoulders, apologize for having to bother her, and close the case, rightly calling it ridiculous.
Now, Colleen has pulled Victoria out of school and is staying home with her. She doesn't know where she'll send her next. The schoolboard won't help pay for the intensive therapy, which I think is a damn shame since it was their employees who caused this whole disaster. I'm not a sue-happy person, but I think Colleen should sue the psychic, the assistant, everybody she can. This whole thing could have been stopped a hell of a lot sooner if one person had used common sense before setting the wheels in motion.
It was a pretty ordinary morning at first. Colleen Leduc took her 11-year-old daughter Victoria to school. She's not a big fan of this school, the people don't seem to understand her autistic daughter's needs, but it's all she can do. She doesn't have the money to get her daughter into the intensive therapy that she needs.
Anyway, she dropped her off, and not long after, she received a frantic call to come back. When she returned, there was a meeting convened in which the educational assistant that worked with Victoria was making allegations that she had been sexually abused by someone between the ages of 23 and 26. Not only that, the school had already called Children's Aid. Ok, fine. But where did these allegations come from? The assistant had been to see a psychic, and that's what the psychic said. She said she had seen some behaviour in Victoria that had made her worry as well, but that turned out to be related to a bladder infection she had, and not to anything sexual.
Now, are you starting to have the same thought snippets? I appreciate that the assistant was concerned, especially when Victoria probably can't communicate very well, but in a case where a little psychic birdy told her so, would the first action be to call Children's Aid? Wouldn't it be more rational to call a meeting, say "I know this is weird, but this is what was said. Does Victoria have any contact with anyone between the ages of 23 and 26?" People can say it's better to act fast, and the mother can say anything at a meeting. But the fact is, calling Children's Aid in without any evidence isn't going to help. They'll come, find nothing, and close the case. So, if something's happening, they would need more evidence to go on than the predictions of a psychic.
I love this little gem:
But under the Child and Family Services Act, anyone who works with children and has reasonable grounds to suspect a youngster is being harmed, must report it immediately...Reasonable grounds! Reasonable! Are the random predictions of a psychic reasonable grounds? What's next? Some Alpha-Bits cereal form the word sex and the cereal is trying to tell them something? I'm sure psychics are great, but I don't think anyone should take drastic action based on the words of a psychic.
Luckily for Colleen and Victoria, Colleen had outfitted her kid with a GPS device that also recorded everything around her. This is because her daughter had been lost at school several times...stop the presses! Woe woe woe! Unless I'm reading the story wrong, this kid has a one-on-one assistant! How does a one-on-one assistant lose her only charge? I think that merits concern before some psychic prediction! I know kids with autism have a tendency to bolt, but that's why you have someone tagged to them. If the kid bolts, the assistant goes after them.
Anyway, this thing had everything recorded, and the recordings showed no funny-business was going on, so Children's Aid had no choice but to shrug their shoulders, apologize for having to bother her, and close the case, rightly calling it ridiculous.
Now, Colleen has pulled Victoria out of school and is staying home with her. She doesn't know where she'll send her next. The schoolboard won't help pay for the intensive therapy, which I think is a damn shame since it was their employees who caused this whole disaster. I'm not a sue-happy person, but I think Colleen should sue the psychic, the assistant, everybody she can. This whole thing could have been stopped a hell of a lot sooner if one person had used common sense before setting the wheels in motion.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Now We're Really Desperate To Get People To Floss!
Yuck! bacon-flavoured dental floss? For a split second, when I saw that, I thought it was for flossing a dog's teeth. Nope. It's for people. Blech! Maybe Steve from "Steve, Don't Eat It!" should floss with it and see how it compares with Beggin Strips! *Gag*!
Save Your Lost Child
Wow. When I look back at that old post about texting, I can tell I didn't have a text message-capable phone. I can also tell I was kinda short-sighted. I have now heard of an awesome use for the camera in your phone if you have kids. Jill wrote a really awesome tip on how to save your lost child. It's true, a picture is worth a thousand words. Why not take a picture of your kid so all you have to say to security if he wanders away is, "He looked like this!" I think that's awesomely brilliant. Ok, I've converted. Go camera phones!
Over There
No, I'm not making a Jonathan Coulton reference. I'm talking about a blog post on the Guide dogs blog. I love this post, It hilariously points out why the directions "Over there!" are so completely frustrating and useless to blinks. If they keep this stuff up, I'll love the Guide Dogs blog forever.
Monday, June 16, 2008
What Kind Of Ball Are They Playing?
Wang hurts foot, A-Rod homers in Yanks' rout of Astros
Come on, you know as well as I do that there's far too much fine innuendo going on there to just let it pass. And don't even try telling me that whoever wrote that didn't do it on purpose either.
Come on, you know as well as I do that there's far too much fine innuendo going on there to just let it pass. And don't even try telling me that whoever wrote that didn't do it on purpose either.
Wow, What A Small Guide Dog!
Remember how I talked about how I get asked a lot if Trixie is fully trained? This usually happens after an embarrassing incident. Well, here's a new twist on it. I've now heard that puppy raisers get asked when they're walking through places with the puppy they're raising if they're blind! Now that one is just stupid. The puppy is usually wearing a training jacket. It says the dog's in training clearly on the jacket. Plus they're not wearing a harness.
I just wish we could switch the hats and have them get asked if they're training the puppy and have me get asked if this is my guide dog. It would still be a slight duh, but it would be not as bad as the other way around, especially considering what the puppy raisers get asked.
I just wish we could switch the hats and have them get asked if they're training the puppy and have me get asked if this is my guide dog. It would still be a slight duh, but it would be not as bad as the other way around, especially considering what the puppy raisers get asked.
Posting And You
Wow. I can't believe I never posted the link to this video before. I thought I did, but I can't find the post anywhere. My brother blogged about it back in April 2005, and I thought it was hilariously funny then, and found myself going to find it just now so I could watch it before I joined a forum, even though I knew most of the stuff.
so here it is. Done in the style of those old educational videos you watched in school, I give you posting and you. Have a good laugh. Or maybe I'm just weird to find it funny. Or maybe it's so old that everyone in the known universe has seen it and they're laughing at me because I'm late to the party. Or maybe some big fan of the blog is laughing at me because I did post about it before, I just suck at searching my own blog.
so here it is. Done in the style of those old educational videos you watched in school, I give you posting and you. Have a good laugh. Or maybe I'm just weird to find it funny. Or maybe it's so old that everyone in the known universe has seen it and they're laughing at me because I'm late to the party. Or maybe some big fan of the blog is laughing at me because I did post about it before, I just suck at searching my own blog.
Maybe The Cellphone Rotted His Brain
I can't decide what's funnier. Is it the fact that Stuart Gardner came back to the house he burgled a few days before to ask the owner if the owner could give him back the mobile phone he dropped at the crime scene, or the fact that the 74-year-old owner of the invaded home said, "I couldn't believe his cheek. He had some front to come back". That just sounds kinda gangsta or something.
Gardner didn't get far. While the police took the guy's statement, they got a call that another house in the vacinity was being robbed, and ta da, it was Gardner! What a moron. Wonder what he dropped at this crime scene.
Gardner didn't get far. While the police took the guy's statement, they got a call that another house in the vacinity was being robbed, and ta da, it was Gardner! What a moron. Wonder what he dropped at this crime scene.
Everybody Out Of The Pool
Here comes today's damn near daily dose of UK retardedness.
The Portsmouth city Council has come to the decision that, due to health and safety concerns,
Kiddie pools now need lifeguards and insurance.
Perhaps this shouldn't be that much of a surprise considering this is also the same city that has asked people to obtain permits before they can have barbecues.
The Portsmouth city Council has come to the decision that, due to health and safety concerns,
Kiddie pools now need lifeguards and insurance.
Perhaps this shouldn't be that much of a surprise considering this is also the same city that has asked people to obtain permits before they can have barbecues.
Why Can't We BE Friends?
Jesus, what's with people fighting at weddings? It all started with a missing camera and ended up with 100 people fighting, 30 police on scene, 2 people stabbed and one guy punched in the face, and 3 arrests. Holy shit. Can't we all just get along? Smacking the piss out of each other won't make the camera reappear.
In other news, I saw two other weddings with drunkenness and violence in them. I didn't think they were quite funny enough on their own, but they can now get lumped in with this one. We have Nicholas Morrison, who tried to start fights with guests and threw stuff, and then we have the poor, unfortunate Tommie Johnson who got clobbered by his own mother and sister before his wedding, so couldn't get married that night. How horrible that he lived on Blarney Stone Avenue and still had such bad luck. Maybe his luck will improve after his family forced him to kiss the street.
In other news, I saw two other weddings with drunkenness and violence in them. I didn't think they were quite funny enough on their own, but they can now get lumped in with this one. We have Nicholas Morrison, who tried to start fights with guests and threw stuff, and then we have the poor, unfortunate Tommie Johnson who got clobbered by his own mother and sister before his wedding, so couldn't get married that night. How horrible that he lived on Blarney Stone Avenue and still had such bad luck. Maybe his luck will improve after his family forced him to kiss the street.
Here Comes The Bride, All Dressed In White, Here Comes the Groom...Riding A What?
I cannot even imagine making my entrance at my wedding on the back of an elephant. I know it was the groom who did it, but still. I remember a brief ride on an elephant at a circus when I was small. It was so wabbly, I spent the whole time screaming because I thought I was going to fall. Maybe I was just a chicken, but that's wacky. Go Manan Shah, you're a better man than I.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Pooch Post
Oh boy, the things kids say because of Trixie. I had two of them today, so I figured they deserved a post.
I was walking back after Trixie did her noon business, and a kid was playing with a ball. He stopped and said, "Hi Trixie!" Without even thinking, I answered him and said it was a beautiful day. He then got all sad and said, "Uh, hi Carin."
What was he thinking? Was he expecting that Trixie would look at him and spontaneously speak English? Was he disappointed when she didn't? Was he feeling guilty for not saying hi to me too? Silly little guy.
Then, later, I was coming back with Trixie from more business. When I write these posts, it looks like all Trix does is poop and pee. Anyway, we ran into the elevator with a cluster of kids, one of whom was whining. I heard that he fell, so I thought the whining was just because he scraped his knee or something. then, he looked at me and said in the tiniest voice, "He has big, skehwy teef!" I reached down, and Trixie's mouth was hanging open. She was panting. I realized her teeth probably did look big and scary. I told the little guy she was just hot, so she was puffing. All he said back was, "Big, skehwy teef!" That's a first. Someone afraid of my little Trixter.
This year, the bugs seem to be worse than last year. Trix actually refuses to go in the bushes anymore because there is a super huge mosquito congregation in there. Smart pooch. I don't like being chomped on either, so down to the grass by the road it is. She shakes her head a lot when we're out and they're bad, and I don't remember her doing that last year. Poor beast.
That's about it for today. This seems like a pretty small post. Oh well.
I was walking back after Trixie did her noon business, and a kid was playing with a ball. He stopped and said, "Hi Trixie!" Without even thinking, I answered him and said it was a beautiful day. He then got all sad and said, "Uh, hi Carin."
What was he thinking? Was he expecting that Trixie would look at him and spontaneously speak English? Was he disappointed when she didn't? Was he feeling guilty for not saying hi to me too? Silly little guy.
Then, later, I was coming back with Trixie from more business. When I write these posts, it looks like all Trix does is poop and pee. Anyway, we ran into the elevator with a cluster of kids, one of whom was whining. I heard that he fell, so I thought the whining was just because he scraped his knee or something. then, he looked at me and said in the tiniest voice, "He has big, skehwy teef!" I reached down, and Trixie's mouth was hanging open. She was panting. I realized her teeth probably did look big and scary. I told the little guy she was just hot, so she was puffing. All he said back was, "Big, skehwy teef!" That's a first. Someone afraid of my little Trixter.
This year, the bugs seem to be worse than last year. Trix actually refuses to go in the bushes anymore because there is a super huge mosquito congregation in there. Smart pooch. I don't like being chomped on either, so down to the grass by the road it is. She shakes her head a lot when we're out and they're bad, and I don't remember her doing that last year. Poor beast.
That's about it for today. This seems like a pretty small post. Oh well.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Something's Rotten In Denmark
This whole thing makes me sad, and makes me feel like Denmark can't win with Muslims at all.
A TV program in denmark decided to have a Miss Headscarf competition, and muslim women were encouraged to send in videos of themselves sporting the thing. The winner was Huda Falah, an Iraqi woman who moved to Denmark and wanted to bring the two cultures together. That sounds like a great goal. But oh no, that's not the way it went over.
Good lord, these women entered of their own accord. And it's not like a bunch of non-muslims put on head scarves and joined in. Then I'd be mad, not at the TV station, but at the idiots who loused up the contest. But this was a bunch of people trying to alleviate the alienation of muslims in Denmark. Now, there's an uproar from their own side.
Plus, I think it's sad that Al Qa'eda went and bombed the Danish embassy in Islamabad last month as an act of revenge for the cartoons published years ago. I guess it's too much to expect terrorists to see that doing that only proves the point that the cartoonist was driving at. It sure doesn't help anyone.
What a messs, and I can only feel sorry for Denmark.
A TV program in denmark decided to have a Miss Headscarf competition, and muslim women were encouraged to send in videos of themselves sporting the thing. The winner was Huda Falah, an Iraqi woman who moved to Denmark and wanted to bring the two cultures together. That sounds like a great goal. But oh no, that's not the way it went over.
Good lord, these women entered of their own accord. And it's not like a bunch of non-muslims put on head scarves and joined in. Then I'd be mad, not at the TV station, but at the idiots who loused up the contest. But this was a bunch of people trying to alleviate the alienation of muslims in Denmark. Now, there's an uproar from their own side.
Plus, I think it's sad that Al Qa'eda went and bombed the Danish embassy in Islamabad last month as an act of revenge for the cartoons published years ago. I guess it's too much to expect terrorists to see that doing that only proves the point that the cartoonist was driving at. It sure doesn't help anyone.
What a messs, and I can only feel sorry for Denmark.
How Is This Possible?
Exactly how dumb is Evan Ramsey? He claims that he didn't know, at age 16, that when you shoot someone, they die. I guess he thought videogames were accurate representations of life. So when he opened fire on his Alaska schoolmates and one of them and the principal ceased to move an dlook alive, he was shocked and horrified. Oh boy. Do you believe this guy? I sure have a hard time. He had said he was angry with people and wanted to shoot them. So...if shooting them wasn't supposed to kill them, what was it supposed to do?
I try to understand, within reason, when someone says they didn't know better. But at about four years of age, I knew that shooting a gun at something could kill it. I remember when I was about five, and being scared when I went to my sister's track meet because they fire a starter's pistol. I asked what was getting shot, and why? Mom had to explain to me that that gun didn't have any bullets. So I have a hard time believing that he didn't have a clue. He mustn't have seemed naive to the jury either, because they gave him 210 years. Holy crap. Well I guess that's a lot of time to get a clue.
I try to understand, within reason, when someone says they didn't know better. But at about four years of age, I knew that shooting a gun at something could kill it. I remember when I was about five, and being scared when I went to my sister's track meet because they fire a starter's pistol. I asked what was getting shot, and why? Mom had to explain to me that that gun didn't have any bullets. So I have a hard time believing that he didn't have a clue. He mustn't have seemed naive to the jury either, because they gave him 210 years. Holy crap. Well I guess that's a lot of time to get a clue.
Our Father, Who Belongeth Not In Government
I was really disappointed to hear about the decision by Dalton McGuinty and the Liberals to
keep the Lord's Prayer around as part of the day in the Ontario legislature.
But if that part disappointed me, what I read next downright made me want to flip my fucking lid.
Not only are they keeping the prayer, but there will also be time set aside for recognition of other faiths.
This is a horrible, horrible idea. Not only did the province miss out on a great opportunity to separate church and state, but now it's opened itself up to the whining and lobbying (yes I'm aware those 2 things are essentially the same) of every fringe religion that gets left out. Knowing the way that religious groups and governments work, I won't be at all surprised when the day comes that sees our elected officials spending more time haggling over who's cool enough to pray for and less time actually tending to the business of running the place.
What should have happened is this. the prayer, gone. Simple as that. No question, no debate, no nothing. Just scrap it. It's a leftover from a different era, and while I'm all for preserving history, sometimes there's just no good reason for keeping something around. In its place would go a moment of silence that every person in the house could use to reflect as he or she saw fit. If they want to say the Lord's Prayer quietly to themselves, fine. If they'd rather think about veterans and the people still serving in the military, that sounds good. If somebody wants to pray to a golden cheesecake that lives in a glass case in the basement of a planetarium, that person can be my guest. If the thing to do is text your wife to tell her to pick up milk on her way home from the office, go nuts. Do whatever you want, just be quiet about it. That way everybody's included and nobody has to complain. They will anyway, but there won't be any basis for it. And the more baseless the complaining, the quicker we as a society can put this behind us and move on with our lives.
keep the Lord's Prayer around as part of the day in the Ontario legislature.
But if that part disappointed me, what I read next downright made me want to flip my fucking lid.
Not only are they keeping the prayer, but there will also be time set aside for recognition of other faiths.
This is a horrible, horrible idea. Not only did the province miss out on a great opportunity to separate church and state, but now it's opened itself up to the whining and lobbying (yes I'm aware those 2 things are essentially the same) of every fringe religion that gets left out. Knowing the way that religious groups and governments work, I won't be at all surprised when the day comes that sees our elected officials spending more time haggling over who's cool enough to pray for and less time actually tending to the business of running the place.
What should have happened is this. the prayer, gone. Simple as that. No question, no debate, no nothing. Just scrap it. It's a leftover from a different era, and while I'm all for preserving history, sometimes there's just no good reason for keeping something around. In its place would go a moment of silence that every person in the house could use to reflect as he or she saw fit. If they want to say the Lord's Prayer quietly to themselves, fine. If they'd rather think about veterans and the people still serving in the military, that sounds good. If somebody wants to pray to a golden cheesecake that lives in a glass case in the basement of a planetarium, that person can be my guest. If the thing to do is text your wife to tell her to pick up milk on her way home from the office, go nuts. Do whatever you want, just be quiet about it. That way everybody's included and nobody has to complain. They will anyway, but there won't be any basis for it. And the more baseless the complaining, the quicker we as a society can put this behind us and move on with our lives.
The Town Of What?
I'm surprised this town didn't make it into the towns mentioned in Steve's worst town names post. I was looking at the Greyhound site, and stumbled on something that made me do a double take. Among the places in Ontario that the big grey dog stops is a town called Swastika!
Noooo!
Yup!
Still don't believe me? Have a good, long, hard look at this map then!
Most Ontarians probably would never hear of it. It's way up north by Kirkland Lake, and was founded around a gold mine, the Swastika gold mine to be exact, which was staked in 1907. Apparently, it is inhabited by some pretty stubborn folk. In World War II, the government tried to rename the town Winston, but the townsfolk would have none of it, insisting they named their town Swastika long before the nazis took over the name and symbol. They even ripped down provincial signs with the new name on them and put the old town signs back up. To this day, it's still Swastika.
Wow, there's a town you don't want to mess with! They even made the government shut up and go away. From time to time, they get Jewish folk writing screaming letters to them. But they just explain they're not a flock of nazis and don't even think of changing their name. In an era of political correctness, this is refreshing to see.
Noooo!
Yup!
Still don't believe me? Have a good, long, hard look at this map then!
Most Ontarians probably would never hear of it. It's way up north by Kirkland Lake, and was founded around a gold mine, the Swastika gold mine to be exact, which was staked in 1907. Apparently, it is inhabited by some pretty stubborn folk. In World War II, the government tried to rename the town Winston, but the townsfolk would have none of it, insisting they named their town Swastika long before the nazis took over the name and symbol. They even ripped down provincial signs with the new name on them and put the old town signs back up. To this day, it's still Swastika.
Wow, there's a town you don't want to mess with! They even made the government shut up and go away. From time to time, they get Jewish folk writing screaming letters to them. But they just explain they're not a flock of nazis and don't even think of changing their name. In an era of political correctness, this is refreshing to see.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Guide Blogs For The Blind
Har har. Aren't I funny? Probably not. Oh well.
First, GDB went and got a podcast. Now, they have a blog! It's called "no bones about it", oh har har har har, and I think it will end up being pretty cool. I had to kind of get mad at them about the first post because they put in cartoon animations and then didn't describe them very well, at least I don't think so, but the next post was pretty cool. So, hopefully this reaches some more people. Go GDB!
First, GDB went and got a podcast. Now, they have a blog! It's called "no bones about it", oh har har har har, and I think it will end up being pretty cool. I had to kind of get mad at them about the first post because they put in cartoon animations and then didn't describe them very well, at least I don't think so, but the next post was pretty cool. So, hopefully this reaches some more people. Go GDB!
Deadly Training
This seems tragic and completely unnecessary. Ian Terry was a police officer, and he was shot to death. Was it while he was on duty? Nope. He was shot by a colleague during a training exercise. Yup. He was pretending to run from a fake crime scene, and they had to stop him. Well, they sure did.
Why in christ would you use live ammo in a training exercise? They said at one point they were using special bullets that were supposed to stop cars. Why not use something like paint balls and just aim for the spots where you would fire the special ammo? Maybe I'm missing something, but this just seems horribly unnecessary. Who knew you would die at a training exercise.
Why in christ would you use live ammo in a training exercise? They said at one point they were using special bullets that were supposed to stop cars. Why not use something like paint balls and just aim for the spots where you would fire the special ammo? Maybe I'm missing something, but this just seems horribly unnecessary. Who knew you would die at a training exercise.
The War On Laughter?
Since when has it become unacceptable to laugh? First we have Chris Cocker, who laughed so hard at a television comedy that he fell off his sofa and disturbed neighbours who called police. Then, because for some reason the police officer wouldn't leave, Cocker got charged with resisting arrest, got sprayed, and got halled into the cells. That's on the same ridiculous level as Dawn Herb, the chick who got arrested and halled into court for swearing at her toilet.
And another non-laughing matter is that of Darra Kollios. She was working in a restaurant/bar, talking to a customer, and started laughing. Apparently the laughing was too much for the owner, and he fired her.
Just listen to her laugh. It's more like a giggle.
Man, I thought laughter was the best medicine. Who knew people would wage war on it as if it were an illegal drug.
And another non-laughing matter is that of Darra Kollios. She was working in a restaurant/bar, talking to a customer, and started laughing. Apparently the laughing was too much for the owner, and he fired her.
Just listen to her laugh. It's more like a giggle.
Man, I thought laughter was the best medicine. Who knew people would wage war on it as if it were an illegal drug.
Joe Knows Baseball
My good buddy Marty (who has much better taste in baseball teams than
Greg Twilly
does) clued me in to a funny note about the guy who caught Ken Griffey Jr.'s 600th home run ball.
It seems the man, identified only as Joe, did some thinking ahead just in case he happened to be the person lucky enough to catch it. He had another baseball with him, and once the homer was hit, he dropped that ball underneath the seats in right field and pointed to it as the one just hit out of the park. This caused the scrum you would expect, allowing Joe to stash the real one and make for the exit. Fine man that Joe. I wish I was half that smart.
the full story is
here,
including a debate about what should be done with it. For the record I'm with Marty, give the thing back to Griffey. Just because there's money to be made doesn't mean it *has* to be made. He's only ever going to hit one 600th home run, and he should have first dibs on it if he wants it.
Greg Twilly
does) clued me in to a funny note about the guy who caught Ken Griffey Jr.'s 600th home run ball.
It seems the man, identified only as Joe, did some thinking ahead just in case he happened to be the person lucky enough to catch it. He had another baseball with him, and once the homer was hit, he dropped that ball underneath the seats in right field and pointed to it as the one just hit out of the park. This caused the scrum you would expect, allowing Joe to stash the real one and make for the exit. Fine man that Joe. I wish I was half that smart.
the full story is
here,
including a debate about what should be done with it. For the record I'm with Marty, give the thing back to Griffey. Just because there's money to be made doesn't mean it *has* to be made. He's only ever going to hit one 600th home run, and he should have first dibs on it if he wants it.
Dear Greg Twilly, My Bestist Friend Ever
This one's for you buddy. I figured since you were nice enough to hijack the
comments
under
this post
in a pathetic attempt to make yourself feel better about your shitty favourite baseball team, the least I could do was give you a little something in return.
Mariners Fire Whiffing Coach
Fuck you very much, and have a fantastic day.
comments
under
this post
in a pathetic attempt to make yourself feel better about your shitty favourite baseball team, the least I could do was give you a little something in return.
Mariners Fire Whiffing Coach
Fuck you very much, and have a fantastic day.
This Vacation Is Gonna Be A Blast!
Who comes up with this shit?
A new policy from the much loved and well respected US Transportation Security Administration states that people who refuse to present ID will no longer be allowed to board airplanes. However, if you say that you'd love to present it but you just can't find it right now,
that's just fine, you run along, and have a nice trip.
Um...uh...yeah...right...sure...whaaaaaat?
A new policy from the much loved and well respected US Transportation Security Administration states that people who refuse to present ID will no longer be allowed to board airplanes. However, if you say that you'd love to present it but you just can't find it right now,
that's just fine, you run along, and have a nice trip.
Um...uh...yeah...right...sure...whaaaaaat?
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Officer, You're Killing My Buzz
If you're looking to not get yourself busted on a DUI, might I humbly suggest that you refrain from
tooling around the streets of New York in a motorized beer cooler,
especially one that has a top speed of 13 MPH?
tooling around the streets of New York in a motorized beer cooler,
especially one that has a top speed of 13 MPH?
Leslie J. "Bomber" Marr, 57, was charged with driving while intoxicated and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle after the police saw him swerving on the street and driving on the sidewalk in his "Cruzin Cooler," Whitehall Police Chief Richard LaChapelle told the Post Star newspaper.
Marr's electric-powered cooler was filled with 14 beers and has room for 24 cans and ice, Fox News reported.
A New Level Of Lazy
Oh god. First we had the self-stirring mug. Now, for the even lazier, we have the self-rotating ice cream cup. Yup, put ice cream in the inside compartment, stick tongue out and press go. It spins by itself, so you don't have to lick around. Oh boy. We're all going to be fat slabs of stone soon.
Smile! You're On Airport Camera
Yikes! Next time you fly, you'll be given a choice. Either get the pat-down, or get scanned by a machine. You'd think the scan would be less invasive. Think again. Apparently the officer can see details such as colostomy bags, implants, the size of your breasts or genetals, and all manner of other things. But your face is blurred and the image cannot be stored or copied. How long until someone more corrupt figures out how to unblur the face and store the image? I think I'll take the pat-down.
I Guess He's No Numbnut Then
Poor Sameer Mishra. There he is, in a spelling bee, nervous as hell, and he thinks he hears the judge say that he has to spell numb nut. I did too. So did most of the audience, because everybody laughed. The word was "numnah", but the moment was still funny.
I wish stuff like that happened more in spelling bees. They would be more fun then.
I wish stuff like that happened more in spelling bees. They would be more fun then.
Brakes Not Included
This story of a very stripped down car leaves me with so many questions. Why, oh why would you buy a car with a cinder block as a driver's seat and nothing else inside? How do you not notice that it has no brakes, or brake pedal for that matter? Hell, how do you drive it home? And why do you think getting out and pushing against it will stop it? Let's review some physics, shall we? You weigh maybe 150 pounds. It ways 2 tons. Hmmmm, who's gonna win?
I guess now you've learned why it was such a cheap car to buy. Too bad it pinned you first.
I guess now you've learned why it was such a cheap car to buy. Too bad it pinned you first.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
So...You're Not A Leaf Fan?
10 Jun, Tue, 14:14:31
Google:
maple leafs get herpes
Is that a curse? You really have a hate on for the Leafs. I know they've sucked a lot, but isn't that a little harsh?
More UK bullshit
Here we go again. First it's a human rights violation in Britain to post a fugitive's photo. Now, they can't even walk a guy across the street in handcuffs from one court to another because that would be assuming he was guilty and it would violate his human rights. So, since the prisoner van had left already, they had to call a van from 70 miles away to drive the guy the distance he could have walked. I can't decide what would draw more stares: a prisoner van or a guy in handcuffs. Really, I don't think they saved him any indignity. He's going to get looked at one way or another.
God, this is so ridiculous, it's sad.
God, this is so ridiculous, it's sad.
Yes, Things Can Get Worse
Apparently France has gotten in on the
child porn filtering act
as well, but taken it a few frightening steps further by also announcing
that they will filter out websites dealing in terrorism and racial hatred.
That's more than a little subjective, methinks.
child porn filtering act
as well, but taken it a few frightening steps further by also announcing
that they will filter out websites dealing in terrorism and racial hatred.
That's more than a little subjective, methinks.
Please, Stop Thinking Of The Children
ISPs agree to block access to child porn sites, newsgroups
Good job guys. Way to drive the criminals underground. For the life of me I can't understand how nobody has figured out that any system like this is only going to create problems for the dumbest of the dumb. Anybody who's serious about his porn and has a couple of brain cells to rub together will figure out how to access it. Routing internet traffic through an
anonymous proxy server
or cruising the town for unsecured wireless connections are 2 ways that spring immediately to mind. the wireless method is particularly worrisome because not only does it help shield the real criminals, but it makes criminals out of people who aren't.
Another issue to consider is who's in charge of determining what is and is not child porn. How can we be sure they don't have an agenda that will do more harm than good to the internet? There's also the matter of how people's internet usage is being monitored. How much information is being gathered up and passed around,and where is it going? And if I may go back to the problem of making criminals out of innocent people, what happens if somebody stumbles on to a blocked site by accident? Is he hauled before the courts and forced to defend himself because of a botched Google search?
This is just the latest useless idea in a long line of poorly thought out government initiatives designed to win support from people who don't know any better. It won't stop any crime and it won't save any kids. What it will do is allow the governments of the world to get another step closer to their ultimate goal of monitoring every aspect of our lives. Anybody who expects anything else is living in denial.
Internet service providers Verizon Communications, Sprint Nextel, and Time Warner Cable have agreed to block Internet newsgroups and Web sites nationwide that disseminate child pornography, The New York Times reported Monday.
The move--part of an agreement with New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo expected to be announced Tuesday--will affect customers across the country, the newspaper reported. Negotiations are reportedly continuing with other ISPs.
Part of the plan is to shut down access to Usenet newsgroups known to traffic such images, as well as Web sites that host child pornography.
Good job guys. Way to drive the criminals underground. For the life of me I can't understand how nobody has figured out that any system like this is only going to create problems for the dumbest of the dumb. Anybody who's serious about his porn and has a couple of brain cells to rub together will figure out how to access it. Routing internet traffic through an
anonymous proxy server
or cruising the town for unsecured wireless connections are 2 ways that spring immediately to mind. the wireless method is particularly worrisome because not only does it help shield the real criminals, but it makes criminals out of people who aren't.
Another issue to consider is who's in charge of determining what is and is not child porn. How can we be sure they don't have an agenda that will do more harm than good to the internet? There's also the matter of how people's internet usage is being monitored. How much information is being gathered up and passed around,and where is it going? And if I may go back to the problem of making criminals out of innocent people, what happens if somebody stumbles on to a blocked site by accident? Is he hauled before the courts and forced to defend himself because of a botched Google search?
This is just the latest useless idea in a long line of poorly thought out government initiatives designed to win support from people who don't know any better. It won't stop any crime and it won't save any kids. What it will do is allow the governments of the world to get another step closer to their ultimate goal of monitoring every aspect of our lives. Anybody who expects anything else is living in denial.
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