Don't Die Over New Milk

If your girlfriend comes home with milk but you already bought milk earlier that day, all that means is yay, extra milk, right? Sure, unless you're 68-year-old Daniel Pacheco. In that case, it means it's time for a stabbin'.

The woman, who was not named, is said to be in good condition and recovering in hospital. Pacheco was also treated for self-inflicted wounds to his arms and a possible Tylenol overdose. NO idea if he was stabbing himself in response to having just stabbed someone he'd already stabbed previously.