CHP Does Not Stand For Chicken, Hamburgs and Pizza!

Wow. Amazing. We've had people go to the wrong house while drunk, but I've never heard of someone mistaking a CHP station for a food store. But he was in a special state when he got out of his car and started asking a cop for a sandwich. I couldn't do a better job than the story, so I'm just going to let the story do the talking.

On Thursday, Aug. 26 at about 3 p.m., CHP Officer Craig Barnes was in the parking lot of the CHP station installing a child safety seat for a motorist when his attention was diverted by music blasting from a silver 2002 Pontiac Grand Am driven by Jason Andrew Sabedra, 26, of Ferndale.

Sabedra entered a parking space, but didn’t stop in time, drove over a concrete bumper and became temporarily wedged there. In an effort to dislodge the vehicle, he threw the car into reverse and hit the gas, causing his tires to lose traction and “peel out.”

This maneuver may have exhausted him, as his car came to rest in the driving lane on the west side of the parking area and remained there for a brief interval. “He sat there for a good 15 seconds, just staring,” Barnes said.

Not lookin' good. But it didn't end there.

Sabedra then walked, after a fashion, over to the officer, but had some difficulty remaining upright.

I love the term "after a fashion." I would have loved some video of this dude stumbling around, and it sounds like the audio would have been good too.

Along with walking, talking proved another challenge for Sabedra. In slurred, almost unintelligible speech, he asked the officer for food, notifying him he was hungry. “He asked me for a sandwich a few times,” Barnes said. “He had that droopy look on his face – mouth droopy, eyes droopy.”

When Barnes asked Sabedra if he knew where he was, Sabedra replied with some certainty that he was at a store in McKinleyville. He said he didn’t know which store, just that food was sold there.

According to This is True, where I first heard of this, McKinleyville is the next town! Um, oh dear.

He apparently had his medical pot on him, and had smoked it, but the officer was sure he'd also had some booze, which is bad news for him since his parole says "no booze for you."

And of course, we had to have a wacky ending to go with the wacky story.

“He was mostly cooperative,” Barnes said. “He didn’t throw up until we got to the jail.”

Once again, I pity the cops who have to deal with dipshits like this. Hey! This happened in Arcata! I wonder if he had any funky mushrooms, too. I guess not, he still has his balls attached.

Maybe next time, he'll know not to drink and drive, or at least he'll be able to tell a cop shop from a food shop.