Did He Not Light Up Her Life Enough?

It's not often that a woman goes in the do it yourself files,
but I believe Daria Woods belongs there, wouldn't you say?

When the male victim went outside to avoid further assault, he told officers, a naked Woods ran outside to attempt to attack him again, but ultimately grabbed his keys from him and walked back inside, where she began to touch herself with a jar of mayonnaise and a flashlight.

What the? All I can say is don't let her make you a salad or a sandwich ever again.