Happy 5000th, VC!

Well would you look at that! This post, the one you're reading right now, is post number 5000! Yes, 5000!

I know what you're thinking. You assholes have been around for almost 7 years with 3 of you writing and you've only managed to crank out 5000 posts?

And to that I say well . . . you see . . . here's the thing . . . um . . . it's like this . . . yeah, we've had our lazy spells, but for some reason people keep coming here. and to all of those people whether they like us or want to see us die in a horrible fuck fuckity fuck fuck ouchtype accident, whether they just passed through and maybe ended up in ayou are here?,whether they stuck around for a while but have since disappeared or have been around for a year or 2 now or even from the beginning, thank you. I'd say we couldn't have done this without you, but truth be told we could have, just for less people, or at least for different ones. But we do appreciate everybody who decides, usually against their better judgment, to pay us a visit.

Thanks for all of the comments and emails, even the completely stupid ones. they've all added to the conversation and given us material to work with.

We've also gotten to know some pretty nice people through doing this, people who hopefully one day will teach us how to be nice also. I won't bother naming anybody, you should all know who you are. Besides, the last thing I need to deal with is somebody getting all butt hurt because I didn't mention their name.

So yeah, thanks again, and here's hoping for another 5000.

It's All Over!

I can't believe how fast time goes. It seems like just yesterday that this whole prediction contest thing started, and now the damn thing's over. Like seriously, how did that happen?

I won't waste any time and just cut to the chase. I didn't win, but I think I did pretty well. I ended up in a 10-way tie for 8th place, finishing with 50 points. Eric B, the guy who won, only had 57, so the race was pretty close and I'll happily take the even 50. Amazingly, good old Ryan S almost beat us all, but he ended up with 4, coming up just a little short. Better luck next time, buddy.

Speaking of ties, there's a 3-way tie for 2nd place, which for the record is 56 points. I think the second place winner was also supposed to get a prize, so I'm not sure how they're going to settle that one.

As for what Eric gets for winning, it's a 3 year extension of his Elite subscription, which is a pretty swell prize worth around $210 US.

I mentioned above that I ended up with 50 points for the year. If you recall, when we last talked about this I had 45, so I went 5 out of 7 on my Money In The Bank picks. I could have gone 6 for 7, but since I'm a fucking idiot I picked Kofi Kingston to win the Smackdown MITB match for some reason. Christ, that was stupid. I realized almost as soon as I sent in my sheet that I should have picked Kane. A lot of people seemed to be betting on Drew McIntyre, but Kane makes the most sense based on where I think the who attacked the Undertaker storyline is heading. The only other one I got wrong was Layla vs. Kelly Kelly.

The show was a good one, especially by recent WWE PPV standards. Both ladder matches were fun, but I'd have to say that the Smackdown one was slightly better. Miz winning the Raw one was definitely the right thing to do at the right time. I can totally see Miz as a world champion for at least a little while at some point down the road, which is amazing given how much he fucking well sucked when he first came to the company doing that ridiculous hoo raah! thing. Everything else on the show was decent to pretty good aside from maybe Layla and Kelly, but I'm not sure who would have expected much from that match anyway. If you're thinking about taking the time to watch it, I'm happy to say go ahead. You shouldn't be disappointed.

I'm not sure if there's going to be another one of these contests, but I'm hoping there is. I had fun this year, and I'd like to see it continue until such time as I win. They can do what they want after that, but for now, let's keep it going.

Hi! This Is Carin, With An Important Message About The Demise Of Some Fraudsters!

Reading this news story brings me much, much joy.

If you ever received a phone call that consisted of a recorded message saying something like

"There are no problems currently with your account however it is urgent that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rates to as little as 6.9 per cent. Your eligibility expires shortly so please consider this your final notice. Please press 1 now to speak to a live operator and lower your interest rates,"

you won't be getting any more of those, at least not from a company called MCS. They got so totally busted for scamming tons of folks out of fees and then doing exactly jack for them, all the while promissing to lower their interest rates, and will be paying everybody back.

Ha, ha ha ha ha! This makes me want to jump up and down. Scumbags!

When You Dine And Dash, Don't Dash Too Fast

Here's a group of women who should just forget about doing the whole dine and dash thing. They're no good at it.

Three women who appeared to be a little looped out on something came to a waffle house and managed to eat enough to have a $40 bill. Then, they ran off, but two of them left their purses behind, and both women who left their purses worked at another waffle house.

To make things even better, one of the women came back demanding their purses. Who does that? If you ran off without paying, they're going to remember you, especially if you left your purse behind! She was told she could wait for the cops, but she ran off again.

For some reason I can't understand, no charges have been filed yet. What a bunch of odd, dumb people.

Canada's Most Reliably Awful Company

I'm going to largely letthis articlespeak for itself and only say that if there was a better option for internet, TV and cell phone service around here, I'd switch in a heartbeat. Oh and fuck off Rogers, you money grubbing, telemarketing, predatory, radio and TV station ruining sonsofbitches!

Rogers Communications, the country's second-biggest internet provider, is lowering the usage limits on some of its plans, just days after online video service Netflix announced it was expanding into Canada.

The company lowered the limits Wednesday on several of its service plans in Ontario, its main market. Users who signed up for the cable company's "Extreme" service after July 21 will be allowed 80 gigabytes of monthly usage, versus 90 GB for those who signed up before.

Customers who sign up for the "Lite" service will now get 15 GB, versus 25 GB before.

Rogers also simultaneously boosted the speed of the Extreme plan to 15 megabits per second from 10, while the Lite plan's speed was unchanged.

The company, which has 1.6 million internet subscribers — second only to Bell Canada — did not explain the changes and a spokesperson did not have a comment.

The lower usage limits came two days after Netflix announced its plans to enter Canada this fall. Netflix has become popular in the United States by providing unlimited movies and television shows for a monthly subscription fee of $8.99 U.S.

I should point out that this doesn't appear to impact our particular internet plan, at least not yet. I'm sure they'll find a way to hose us over, they always do. They have an entire department devoted to that actually, it's called Rogers Communications. So I'll be expecting to get the "at Rogers, we strive to bring you the best in entertainment and to do so we're raising your rates again and you're gonna bend over and take it like the retarded little piss ant unimportant consumer you are" letter in the mail any day now.

U.S. technology blogs have estimated that a typical two-hour movie from Netflix uses about 1.8 GB of data, while a high-definition version consumes about 3 GB. Users on Rogers's new Lite plan could therefore view about 10 hours a month of HD video a month if they didn't use their internet connection for anything else, while Extreme subscribers could view about 53 hours, or less than two hours a day.

Rogers Communications' highest usage plan is its Ultimate service, which allows for 175 GB for $99 a month. Earlier this year, the company raised its maximum overage fee — extra charges that are incurred when monthly usage is exceeded — to $50 from $25.

The article goes on to point this out, but as soon as I read the headline I knew that the timing of this announcement was no accident. Once Netflix comes to Canada, it and Rogers are in direct competition. Rogers has its own streaming video service called On Demand Online, and if people buy Netflix, current Rogers customers won't need to use it and people on other ISP's won't need to come to Rogers at all. so by making this move, it makes a Netflix subscription more costly since overages are almost inevitable, which Rogers hopes will drive people away and back into their loving arms. And either way Rogers is sitting pretty, because no matter who streams your video, you're going over your limit and getting dinged with the recently raised per gig charge.

Peckers.

So much for letting the article speak for itself, but this company infuriates me sometimes. It may in fact be the worst company I've ever dealt with in my life. Yeah, nobody else even comes close. From customer service reps who don't know anything about the products they're trying to sell me, to the troop of knuckle dragging goobers who install those products improperly resulting in my email fucking up and eventually our modem being disconnected without any notice because it somehow got reported to the network as stolen from Ottawa, to the myriad price increases even though no tangible value has been added to the service we receive, Rogers has it all. They're also the same nimrods who expect people topay $4.25 for a 30 second ringtone.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is eat a bowl of flaming dicks, you insufferable gaggle of shitwhistling fuckholes.

And to everyone else, goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

Joke's Over

Raquel McGrath sounds like a real winner, who is insuring that her son is headed for trouble.

The story goes that her son Steven Avalos put together a nasty gift bag for a local baseball club president full of obscene messages, KY jelly, and other things that he wasn't sure of, and left it on his car. But according to her, he did nothing wrong. he was only defending her. Defending her? Yes, because she thought the president was being unfair, and had taken some food home, and she didn't like where the money was going, so she'd said some things, and he was defending her.

Or maybe it was a gag gift and a senior prank. Or maybe her son was pissed at the whole situation. She keeps changing her story, and sounds like a parent who is way, way, way too involved in her kid's success in sports, and if he doesn't succeed, she screams blue murder, and maybe puts him up to leaving a bag of who knows what on the club president's vehicle.

Perhaps, when she called it a gag gift, she was being the most truthful. It's a gift that is sure to make the recipient gag.

Behind Every Fruity Vodka, There's A Fruity Man?

I really wish I had the shooter's name for this story, because everyone needs to know that if they find themselves at a party with this fellow, they shouldn't, under any circumstances, make fun of his sexuality. If they do, he will turn into a gun-wielding maniac.

This guy came to a party uninvited, which didn't set things off on a good foot from the beginning. Then, people were making fun of him for bringing a bottle of sparkling vodka called Nuvo, saying it looked like a lipstick cap. He would not stand for this, not one little bit, so left the party, and came back with a pistol, which he started firing. He's sent one dude to hospital after shooting him in the lower abdomen.

And this happened on Gunsmoke Drive. I'm sure there was some serious gunsmoke after that.

I hope they catch the guy who did this. I bet jail will be an even bigger punishment for him than the ordinary guy. On top of all that lack of freedom stuff, he'll be constantly afraid that his cell-mate might be after his ass, and that'll be too much!

Shake Off The Blinders, Look At Your City

So, Niagara has launched a tourism ad campaign called "Shake Off the City" encouraging Torontonians to come to Niagara to get away from the hustle and bustle that is Toronto, and this has caused a few Torontonians to cry like babies. They say it unfairly portrays Toronto as an urban jungle.

Um, have they forgotten where they live? It *is* pretty insane. And the campaign sounds like every campaign I've ever heard encouraging people to get away from a busy city. Are they mad that Toronto was named? Is that what got their shorts in a twist?

You know, if they had just kept quiet, the commercials probably would have run and that would have been the end of it. Now, they will be memorable. Way to go.

They Got The Baby Back!

This is the greatest news I've gotten all day. the blind couple got their baby back! Jump, jump, jump!

Infant is returned to blind couple after state places her in protective custody
By LEE HILL KAVANAUGH The Kansas City Star |

Fifty-seven days after she was born, Mikaela Sinnett was home for the first time Tuesday with her parents, Erika Johnson and Blake Sinnett of Independence. State officials had worried they were unable to care for her.

A folding cane used by Blake Sinnett rested in the baby carrier used to carry home his daughter.

On Tuesday, Blake Sinnett, guided by his mother, Jenne Sinnett, carried his 2-month-old daughter, Mikaela Sinnett. Behind them was Mikaela’s mother, Erika Johnson.

Erika Johnson will never be able to see her baby, Mikaela.

But for 57 days she couldn’t keep her newborn close, smell her baby’s breath, feel her downy hair. The state took away her 2-day-old infant into protective custody — because Johnson and Mikaela’s father are both blind. No allegations of abuse, just a fear that the new parents would be unable to care for the child.

On Tuesday, Johnson still couldn’t stop crying, although Mikaela was back in her arms.

“We never got the chance to be parents,” she said. “We had to prove that we could.”

Tuesday, she and Blake Sinnett knew their baby was finally coming home to their Independence apartment, but an adjudication hearing was scheduled for the afternoon on whether the state would stay involved in the rearing of the baby. Then from a morning phone call to their attorney, they learned that the state was dismissing their case.

“Every minute that has passed that this family wasn’t together is a tragedy. A legal tragedy and a moral one, too,” said Amy Coopman, their attorney. “How do you get 57 days back?”

Arleasha Mays, a spokeswoman for the Missouri Department of Social Services, said privacy laws prohibited her from speaking about specific cases. But she added, “The only time we recommend a child be removed is if it’s in imminent danger.”

Johnson said she knew the system eventually would realize its horrible mistake, but she often was consumed with sadness. Sinnett tried his best to keep Johnson hopeful.

For almost two months she and Sinnett could visit their baby only two or three times a week, for just an hour at a time, with a foster parent monitoring. “I’m a forgiving person,” Johnson said, but she’s resentful that people assumed she was incapable. “Disability does not equal inability,” she said.

Representatives of the sightless community agreed that people were well-meaning but blinded by ignorance.

Mikaela was born May 21 at Centerpoint Medical Center of Independence. The doctors let Sinnett “see” her birth by feeling the crowning of her head.

For Johnson, hearing Mikaela’s whimpers was a thrill. The little human inside her all these months, the one who hiccupped and burped, who kicked and moved, especially at night, was now a real person whom she loved more than anything else she’d ever imagined.

In her overnight bag was Mikaela’s special homecoming outfit, a green romper from Johnson’s mother, with matching bottoms and a baby bow.

Questions arose within hours of Mikaela’s birth, after Johnson’s clumsy first attempts at breast-feeding — something many new mothers experience.

A lactation nurse noticed that Mikaela’s nostrils were covered by Johnson’s breast. Johnson felt that something was wrong and switched her baby to her other side, but not before Mikaela turned blue.

That’s when the concerned nurse wrote on a chart: “The child is without proper custody, support or care due to both of parents being blind and they do not have specialized training to assist them.”

Her words set into motion the state mechanisms intended to protect children from physical or sexual abuse, unsanitary conditions, neglect or absence of basic needs being met.

Centerpoint said it could not comment because of patient privacy laws, but spokeswoman Gene Hallinan said, “We put the welfare of our patients as our top priority.”

A social worker from the state came by Johnson’s hospital room and asked her questions: How could she take her baby’s temperature? Johnson answered: with our talking thermometer. How will you take her to a doctor if she gets sick? Johnson’s reply: If it were an emergency, they’d call an ambulance. For a regular doctor’s appointment, they’d call a cab or ride a bus.

But it wasn’t enough for the social worker, who told Johnson she would need 24-hour care by a sighted person at their apartment.

Johnson said they couldn’t afford it, didn’t need it.

“I needed help as a new parent, but not as a blind parent,” Johnson said.

She recalled the social worker saying: “ ‘Look, because you guys are blind, I don’t feel like you can adequately take care of her.’ And she left.”

The day of Johnson’s discharge, another social worker delivered the news to the couple that Mikaela was not going home with them. The parents returned the next day to visit Mikaela before she left the hospital, but they were barred from holding her.

“All we could do was touch her arm or leg,” Johnson said.

The couple began making calls. Gary Wunder, president of the National Federation of the Blind of Missouri, had trouble believing it at first.

“I needed to verify their whole story,” he recalled. “We had to do due diligence. … I found the couple to be intelligent and responsible. “We knew this was an outrage that had taken place.”

He notified Kansas City chapter president Shelia Wright, who visited the 24-year-olds. Hearing about the empty crib, the baby clothes, Wright recalled, “I felt as helpless as I’ve ever felt in my life.

“I hurt so bad for them. This is unforgivable.”

They rallied other associations for the blind nationwide. More than 100 people at a national convention in Dallas volunteered to travel to Kansas City to protest and testify, both as blind parents and as the sighted children of blind parents. (Mikaela has normal sight.)

They also hired Coopman, who watched the young couple with their baby girl on Tuesday.

“I’m sorry,” she said, wiping tears. “But this should not have happened.”

Johnson kept a journal that Coopman is keeping closed for now. She indicates that legal action will be taken.

“Whether a couple is visually impaired or deaf or in a wheelchair, the state should not keep them from their children,” she said.

Now breast-feeding is a lost option. And the beautiful newborn clothes hanging in the closet went unworn, because their baby was growing bigger in the arms of someone else.

The couple said they had tried to prove themselves to the sighted community since their early years. Sinnett rode his bicycle on the street with the help of a safety gadget. Johnson graduated from high school with honors. But all the challenges they’ve endured over the years shrink compared to the responsibility of caring for 10 pounds of squirming baby girl.

Johnson cuddled Mikaela. Gave her a bottle. Patted her back until she burped. Mikaela gave a tiny smile.

In their 24 years, the couple said, they’ve both endured prejudice from others. They don’t want any other blind parent to suffer the same obstacle they did. Fifty-seven days are too precious to lose.

Yes! I have no other words. Just, yes!

Oh Sweet Jesus!

Crawford day to day with "testicular contusion"

Rays four-time All-Star LF Carl Crawford is day to day after sustaining a "testicular contusion" during a scary moment in Tuesday's game when he was struck by a pickoff throw from Orioles starter Jake Arrieta.

"It caught me square, it couldn't have hit (me) in a better spot,'' said Crawford, who doesn't wear a protective cup because it limits his movements. "It just took the wind out of me.''

Call me crazy, but limited movements don't sound all that bad when the alternative is a Testicular contusion.

Former Ray Ty Wigginton was the Oriole on the receiving end of the throw, and this is how he recalled the first-inning play: "When he was throwing over, I just reached for the ball and I wasn’t sure what it hit. But I had a pretty good idea when he didn’t move because I know one thing, Carl Crawford is one of the toughest guys I’ve ever played with. He’s a true gamer and if that guy don’t bounce up, it’s not good. I just said, ‘Hang in there, C.’  ''

I have nothing more to say. It's hard to type with clenched legs and eyes full of tears.

Don't Squeeze The Trigger

For reasons known only to him and possibly her, Lonnie Irvin Pinnix really wanted his wife Darlene to leave their home and leave it now! So when she didn't comply with his wishes fast enough, he did what any rational and logical one of us would do in such a situation,load the old shotgun up with toilet paper and shoot her in the back.

I suppose he got his wish since she did leave, heading for the hospital where she was treated for powder burns she suffered as a result of the incident.

He, meanwhile, was charged with assault with a deadly weapon, given a court date of August 11th and placed in jail on $1000 bond, which I suppose means he ended up leaving too.

I Don't Dubai This One.

I got a rather creative spam yesterday. I chuckled at it, and thought it should go up. Here it is.

Hi,

Firstly I would like to apologize for the bulk mail. I'm sure you already get enough of these. No I'm not trying to get millions of dollars out of Nigeria.

I am looking for your help though. It seems that you have to be more and more creative with your job searches these days, and yes I am looking for a new job. The company I work for has gone through a merger and I'm not going to be here for much longer.

So in short, please find attached a copy of my CV if this is of any interest to you or if you know anyone looking, please consider it.

Thanks in advance for your help and sorry for one more bit of e-mail.

Grant Baxter
IT Manager
The Palladium Theater
Dubai

Attached is a PDF, but there's no way I'm opening it.

I thought it was great that he actually referenced Nigerian scams right in the message. I'm waiting for some people to say "But it's not one of those scam things!" Oh I think it is, he just wants you to think it isn't.

And I'm all for creative job-hunting, but what logical person would just send their resume out at random? That isn't creative, that's dumb.

But I've noticed this trend lately, spammers apologizing for spamming. It cracks me up.

Stunning Police Work

I think officers in Avon and Somerset need a little retraining on how to use a stun gun if it went off accidentally, and a little retraining on not being total assholes if they did it on purpose. Either way, somebody needs a brush-up.

The story goes that Peter Cox was driving to a friend's house to do some yardwork, and noticed a police car driving behind him. It didn't have flashing lights on, so he just kept going.

When he arrived, the police still wouldn't tell him why they were there. Then he started grabbing supplies, and didn't notice that an officer had his stun gun pointed at him. But witnesses said he had it pointed at him for 20 seconds before lowering it some, and then it went off, hitting Cox in the groin. In fact, one of the probes only missed the part of him for which there is a slang term very similar to his name by about 3 inches.

It was then that the police said why they were there. They said that his car showed up as having no insurance, but he checked with his insurer, and his insurance was good.

The cops say it was an accident, and they pointed at him because he was aggressive, but witnesses don't seem to agree. In fact, they say the police flat refused to take statements because they said it was an accident. Well, if it was an accident, wouldn't they want statements there to back that up?

All I know is I feel sorry for the dude. Ow ow ow ow ow. He's suing them. If things went down the way he says they did, he should.

Un-Bee-Lievable

Nearly two years ago, Steve found an article that was sure to send me into spasms of eeeeeeek! It was about beekeepers making a bee beard. Because he just loves watching me squirm, he found a more detailed account of how to make a bee beard, and uh, um, mission accomplished!

There are certain details in here that especially get me all freaked out, details like

Q: How did you practise?

A: We did one trial run with a few bees that I knew were very nice and gentle. There were probably 15,000 to 20,000 bees.

A few is 15000 bees? A few? Hmm. When I think a few, I think 5 or 10. Not 15000.

Q: Do they forage on your face?

A: They start to look for moisture for sure, they get really hot. They'll go to my lips and you can feel the little tongues getting moisture. They can also suck up the sweat.

I can just imagine the bzz bzz bzzing along with sucking, and it's too much. Goose bumps are travelling up and down my back.

Q: What does it feel like in general?

A: It's kind of like monkeys in a barrel. The original bee holds onto the face and they hold on to each other. It's kind of little claws, holding on to the skin. If I try to move my face, they hold on with all their might, it feels like a sunburn. The skin is tight.

Ick. This is why I am not a beekeeper.

Q: How do you take the beard off?

A: Basically you lean over top of the colony box that they live in, and jump. The jerking motion makes them all let go.

I'd be jumping around if you tried to put them *on* my face.

Q: Is there any other way to get 37,000 bees off your face?

A: There are times when you can sweep bees. I don't think I would want to sweep them off, they don't like that motion.

And when you're dealing with 37000 bees, do what they like! Respect the bees, man!

Um, when I look at that, that's a big part of the Q and A that freaked me out. Beekeepers, I have an infinite respect for you. I don't think I could even watch someone put a bee beard on, let alone wear one myself.

Fair Is Fair, But Fire Is Fire

I like drinking games as much as the next guy, but if losing one meansI'm getting set on fire,sorry, but I ain't playin'!

Sheriff's deputies learned that the victim and friends were drinking Monday and had made a bet that whoever drank the least would be set on fire, according to a news release.

The victim told investigators that since he drank only six beers, the least amount, he agreed to let his friends set him on fire.

The victim, who has a prosthetic left leg made of plastic, said his friends set his leg on fire, which spread to his buttocks and lower back area, causing severe burns.

Not being able to stand the pain, the victim disrobed. His friends then decided to take him to the hospital but became "nervous and dropped the victim off" on U.S. 70, the release said.

Can't say I have much sympathy for this guy, however. If you're this dumb you pretty much deserve whatever happens to you at the hands of other dumb people.

When questioned by deputies if he had asked his friends to stop at any point in time while setting him on fire, he stated "no, he lost the bet" and therefore did not attempt to stop them.

Just...wow.

Somebody's Trying To Take These Guys To The Other Side

Not that it's ever gonna happen, but if for some reason I'm asked to join Aerosmith, I'm saying no. It's just too damn dangerous for me. Not so much because of the drugs and booze and pills and what have you, I'm more concerned about the cars and high stages and miscellaneous surgeries and now theold women rear-ending me while I'm riding my motorcycle.

Aerosmith's Joe Perry was hospitalized after a minor motorcycle accident yesterday. According to the Patriot Ledger, the guitarist was driving his Ducati Monster near his Duxbury, Massachusetts home when he was rear-ended by a 62-year-old woman driving a Chevy Malibu on Route 44. Perry was not found to blame in the accident, and the other driver, Linda O'Brien, was charged with following too closely.

Perry was admitted to Morton Hospital and Medical Center for treatment, but was quickly discharged with only minor injuries. The band's publicist, Liz Rosenberg, told the Boston Globe, "Joe is home and he's fine. All's well and we're all grateful."

Word is that the accident won't at all mess with the group's current tour, but all you have to do is punch the word Aerosmith into the search at the top of this page and start reading to see what that claim is worth. That said, something tells me that this time they mean it since I don't have tickets.

Buddy's Blues

If you liked the video I posted last year ofTallan Latz,chances are you'll probably enjoyQuinn Sullivan.

He's 10 and he's playing this song about Buddy Guy onstage during a Buddy Guy concert. Yeah, I give up too.

You Won't Normally Catch Me Agreeing With A Record Company, But...

Kings Of Leon's Label Doesn't Want Them To Play New Songs On Tour

While you're at it, any way you could convince them not to play the old ones either?

United Breaks Careers

Back a while ago, we talked about Dave Caroll's United Breaks Guitars song, and song 2. Somehow we missed song 3 coming out. It came out in March of this year. Well, better late than never, here's song 3. It's a good song, but it isn't crawling into my head like the other two. Maybe it will. I'll give it time.

Observations From The Train

We took a train yesterday to meet some of Steve's family at a spot half-way between us and them. We got to the station really early, partly because we took the bus there and buses only run every half-hour, and partly because the train got delayed. Here were some of the things we saw or noticed.

Ok, how come two blind folks cannot find the ring for service bell? Seriously. We walked into the station, and there was nobody at the counter. We stood there for a minute, and I was really close to calling Via Rail and asking them to put me through to the Guelph train station because I didn't know how else I would get the attention of the person behind the counter. We thought there *must* be a bell, so we both looked for it. Neither of us could find the bloody bell!

Eventually, the person would notice us and come help us, but if we could find the damn bell, it would make things a lot easier and a lot more dignified than a couple of blinks standing there like dorks, molesting a counter in search of some way of signalling the station folks.

What was really funny was as soon as we either gave up or got the help we needed and went back to our seats, someone would get up, walk over, and ring the damn bell. Why couldn't someone come along when *we* were looking for the bell? We eventually joked that the bell was taunting us.

Guess who was working the station yesterday? The same lady who helped the shoe thief and I get to Anton's play. It was nice to see her again under better circumstances.

Here's a new thing somebody said to me because of Trixie. There appeared to be a bum sitting in the train station. The guy looked over at us and seriously started going, "Hey dog! Hey dog! Hey dog! Hey dog!" I eventually started to wonder if he was saying "Hey, doll!" So, as much as I didn't want to respond to "doll", I didn't want him to keep yelling, so I said, "pardon," at which point he seriously started going, "Will he eat me? Will he eat me? Will he eat me?" Ok, he was talking about the dog. Alrighty then.

There is one very patient dad in Guelph, that's for sure, but I thought he was going to lose it at the end. He and 3 small kids were at the train station, and appeared to be waiting for his wife. The kids were having a grand old time, running around the station, smacking coke machines and pay phones and being silly little kids. Because of the number of times he had to tell them to stop, I knew all their names. But he was amazingly calm. I was starting to get worried, though, when he went over to grab one of his kids, and took him back to the seats. When the words, "Seriously, sit!" come out of his mouth, you know the patience is running thin.

I love it when I hear something out of context. I think the funniest conversation snippets I heard were:
Dad: Don't bounce on her when she's down there.
Kid: Why?
Dad: Because that'll hurt, she's on concrete.

then there was "If you guys don't settle down, we're going to go back outside. Or "Don't hit the machine."

The train came in with mommy on it. I think daddy was very happy to see her.

We finally got on the train, and met a very nice lady working there who helped us get to our seats. She made sure we didn't get left behind, which was awesome, and she wanted to take care of us...but she did one hilarious thing. Every single time she passed us, she would smack Steve on the shoulder before talking to us. I guess she wanted to make sure we knew she was talking to us, but couldn't she just ask us our names? She also was soooo scared that we were going to fall off the train when getting off. Relax. Breathe, breathe, breathe. It's ok. We'll be fine. Ah, but she was a sweet lady. She meant well. I'd prefer that to being left behind and having to yell for help any day.

And that's about it. It was a pretty smooth trip.