3 weeks ago
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Kick 'Em, Cowgirl!
You know a story's going to be good when it involves a bride in cowboy boots kicking a cop in the groin. Police came over to break up a fight at her wedding, and then she ended up hoofing the officer, and then getting hoofed to jail. What started the fight? The groom got mad at some wedding-crashers for dancing with the bride too provocatively. This marriage isn't going to last long.
I Keep On Trying It, But Crime Ain't My Thang
If you're planning on committing a home invasion, it's probably a bad idea to bring along a t-shirt with an old mugshot of yourself and the words "Making Money Is My Thang" on it. If you must do that, it *is* a good idea to make sure that shirtleaves the scene of the crime with you.
This lesson brought to you by previously convicted felon Jonathan Huntley, who seems well on his way to adding a few more to his list.
This lesson brought to you by previously convicted felon Jonathan Huntley, who seems well on his way to adding a few more to his list.
The t-shirt is in police custody because, investigators allege, Huntley last Tuesday participated in the home invasion robbery of a Charlotte home. According to cops, one victim told investigators that two black males “willfully and unlawfully entered his residence” and stole valuables, including jewelry and a wallet.
But as the robbers fled the Dinglewood Avenue crime scene, the black t-shirt somehow fell out of the duo’s getaway car. Huntley surrendered to police Thursday night, a day after a Crime Stoppers appeal was made seeking the public’s help in identifying the man pictured on the garment.
Haven't You Heard The Phrase "No Honour Among Thieves"?
Man, people have balls. Now people are reporting an essay-writing company, you know, when you don't want to write your own paper and would rather pay for one, to the Better Business Bureau when they don't deliver. Isn't that kind of like calling the cops when a hooker rips you off? I know the Better Business Bureau doesn't make laws, but well, this sort of thing is frowned upon.
If you're working two jobs and have kids and want to go to school, lighten your courseload. Don't wuss out and get people to write your papers for you. If you do that, what are you learning?
If you're working two jobs and have kids and want to go to school, lighten your courseload. Don't wuss out and get people to write your papers for you. If you do that, what are you learning?
It's Safe To Say She Isn't World Hide And Seek Champion Material
“Fuck them, they’ll have to come and get me,." "It’s gonna be hard to find me.
--Crazy Burger King lady Nekiva Hardycommenting on police looking for her.
So just how hard was she to find? So hard that two days after saying come get me and an hour after Florida cops faxed an arrest warrant to Alabama,they came and got her...at her house.
Now she has to decide whether she's going back to Florida voluntarily or if she's going to try fighting extradition. If she fights it could mean spending around 60 days in one of Alabama's fine county jails, where hopefully none of them bitches in the prison cafeteria tick her off.
The saga continues.
--Crazy Burger King lady Nekiva Hardycommenting on police looking for her.
So just how hard was she to find? So hard that two days after saying come get me and an hour after Florida cops faxed an arrest warrant to Alabama,they came and got her...at her house.
Now she has to decide whether she's going back to Florida voluntarily or if she's going to try fighting extradition. If she fights it could mean spending around 60 days in one of Alabama's fine county jails, where hopefully none of them bitches in the prison cafeteria tick her off.
The saga continues.
She Drove Down The Wrong Road
Wow. For all those parents who don't believe in having any control or discipline over their kids, I think they should read this story. This might be the end result.
Rachel Hachero really wanted a car. So she asked her mom if she would co-sign for it. Mom said no. Her response? she threatened to kill mommy dearest, and pistol-whipped her until she went and co-signed.
The next day, mom went through her daughter's purse and found the gun and some other drug-related stuff. She finally went to the police, but wouldn't press charges because she didn't want to screw up her honour roll kid's chances at a good school. Um, lady? Her chances at life are already screwed. Thankfully the police had said she had done too much to just not lay charges, so off to juvenile hall Rachel went.
Good lord, if I had threatened to kill my mom, my mom would have taught me a good lesson about the police. She might have even persuaded the police to be extra scary. And I probably would have spent a long time in jail before she might have given the idea of posting bail an ounce of consideration.
Rachel Hachero really wanted a car. So she asked her mom if she would co-sign for it. Mom said no. Her response? she threatened to kill mommy dearest, and pistol-whipped her until she went and co-signed.
The next day, mom went through her daughter's purse and found the gun and some other drug-related stuff. She finally went to the police, but wouldn't press charges because she didn't want to screw up her honour roll kid's chances at a good school. Um, lady? Her chances at life are already screwed. Thankfully the police had said she had done too much to just not lay charges, so off to juvenile hall Rachel went.
Good lord, if I had threatened to kill my mom, my mom would have taught me a good lesson about the police. She might have even persuaded the police to be extra scary. And I probably would have spent a long time in jail before she might have given the idea of posting bail an ounce of consideration.
Some Scattered Wrestlemania Thoughts
In one of the interviews he did before the show, The Rock said something about this Wrestlemania being one of the most memorable ever. But now that I've watched it, one of only two things I'm going to remember is how forgettable it was. I obviously don't know how much everybody's being paid, but nobody on that show had better be making more than The Undertaker and Triple H. Without them and the awesome match they had, WWE would have laid a $55 turd.
Maybe the show was better if you were there. You could tell the crowd was going pretty nuts in spots and having a great time, so I'll bet that's the case. But watching at home, hardly anything delivered. Aside from Taker and HHH, everything else ranged from pointless to borring to fine. Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting every single thing on Mania to be great. But on a show this big I expect a little more, and most of this didn't even come off as special enough to cover for things being so so.
I had a feeling we were off to a bad start when I found out that Sheamus and Daniel Bryan's U.S. Title match got bumped from the main card. It wasn't a main event or anything, but I was looking forward to it and I'm surely not the only one. And not only did it become a dark match, but it then went from a lumberjack match to a battle royal, so even the people in the building didn't get what they paid for. I suppose it can be argued that they actually got more, but to me they were cheated out of a title match that could have been pretty good.
the show started off with the Rock doing a promo. He did a nice job of working up the crowd, so I'm not going to complain like I've seen a few people do. There's no way it could have translated as well on TV as it did in the building. The place is huge and as somebody who relies on sound to tell what's going on, I could tell the noise would have been pretty unreal in there.
But even though I'm not going to complain about that opening segment possibly running too long, I do want to complain about the use of Rock. when you have a name like that and you say he's hosting Wrestlemania, having him actually host the thing might be a good idea. Beyond that opening segment, we got a couple of backstage things that were pretty bad (Mae Young and Pee Wee Herman) and him ruining take 2 of the crappy main event. I'm not sure what they could have done, but he certainly could have been much better utilized than he was. Maybe he should have been ring announcing or perhaps doing some guest commentary. Almost anything would have been better than the few appearances he made.
Speaking of commentary, who's idea was it to have Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler out there calling the first half of the show? That was stupid. We shouldn't have seen or heard anything from either of them until it was time for their match. Even if WWE didn't want to use Jim Ross all night, it's not like they didn't have other options. There are people they could have stuck out there with Josh Mathews, and they should have used at least one of them. Having them out there took their match down a couple of notches in my eyes.
The match they had didn't help matters either. Granted I didn't expect a whole lot going in, but it didn't have the heavyish feel that the storyline leading to it had. I was really impressed with the build, how personal it was. Family got involved, harsh things were said, friends were attacked. Then the match just sort of happened. Swagger and Stone Cold both got involved as expected, Lawler beat up Cole some and then he won...until he lost. The Raw GM sent an email reversing the decision and giving Cole the win since Austin got involved and referees aren't supposed to do that. Something like this didn't belong on Mania. Mania is where stories like this end, not a place to set up another match. If this was the direction all along, they should have had this match either on Raw or on Elimination Chamber. JBL could have reffed that one, helped screw Lawler, and then we move to Mania and the King gets his moment. This just seemed all wrong.
On the subject of endings rather than beginnings, did Alberto Del rio shit in somebody's bag? Maybe it's just me, but man he looked like a complete goof. The opening the show with a title match thing was strange, but I can get over it. But the match felt like one of those not bad Smackdown matches, only without a commercial in the middle. The crowd was having fun, but it didn't feel like a Wrestlemania championship main event, and then it up and ended when it felt like things should have been just getting started. Then Del Rio cried, and Edge beat up his car. No idea where Del Rio goes from here, but unless they've got a big plan I can't figure out my guess is down the card. All of this sure made the Royal Rumble seem quite unimportant, which I doubt was the goal.
I was glad to see Cody Rhodes win. He's been really good lately, and the loss would have hurt him a lot more than it does Mysterio. I hope they do something with him now and don't just keep him running in place. Again, match was fine, but nothing I'm going to remember for years to come.
I'm not sure if it's because Randy Orton annoys the hell out of me or because the match was really as slow and dullish as it seemed, but Orton vs. Punk bored me to the point that I started looking for little things to do around the house so I wouldn't have to sit there and watch it. The crowd seemed to quiet down and it felt like the announcers were disinterested, and I can't say I blame them. It was hardly the worst thing on the show, but the outcome was really never in doubt and it didn't feel like anything was riding on it. It was just another plodding Randy Orton match.
But the one thing I'll say for Punk vs. Orton is that at least it was better than that fucking main event. Cena and Miz had gotten kind of overshadowed by Cena and Rock, but there's no excuse for ending a Mania with this shite. They wrestle a so so match for a few minutes, then it spills to the outside and ends in a double countout. Rock comes out, restarts the match...and then immediately Rock Bottoms Cena and Miz gets the win. He then gets the smack laid down on him and Rock is standing tall to end the show. Well, at least the Cena Rock story has been advanced, but none of this did Miz any favours. And has there ever been a worse closing match at a Mania? I'm sure some of you are screaming at me about how Hogan and Andre the Giant from Mania 3 or even Hogan and Bundy in the cage at Mania 2 were much worse, but you have to remember a couple of things: 1, both of those matches sold the show and 2, there was massive excitement for both of them, especially Hogan Andre. They also weren't expected to be 5 star classics. You were paying for the spectacle and to see Hogan settle a score, and in the end, that's what you got. What you got with this Cena Miz match was the show closing angle from an episode of Raw. Miz vs. Lawler in the ladder match that got the Cole and Lawler feud going or even the Miz vs. Morrison match from raw a few months ago were more Mania main than this dreck. Just a terrible way of ending a pretty bad show. But to be positive for a second, Cena's gospel choir and praying to the lord entrance still getting him booed out of the building, that was funny.
I know why it wasn't in the spot, but Undertaker vs. Triple H was the true main event. It was a slow, deliberate match also, but the difference between it and Punk Orton is that in this one, every move meant something. It could have ended in so many places, including when HHH gave Undertaker his own tombstone and damn near beat him. All that was missing was Taker giving H the Pedigree, but that's just a small thing. In the end, HHH tapped out to the Hell's Gate choke. Can't remember the last time he gave up. the post match stuff was great too, with both guy's looking like they'd been through a true war. Undertaker even had to be helped to the back, which is unheard of. I'm not sure if this is either guy's last match, but if it was, what a way to go out. I can't say I enjoyed this more than either of the Taker Michaels matches from the last two years, but it was right up there. Maybe call it a draw. Just great stuff, and this show needed it. If you're going to watch it, this is about all you truly need to see.
The rest of the night was what it was. The 8-man tag and the 6-person tag were too quick to be anything. Only thing to note from either one is that Snooki looked pretty good doing her few spots. I have next to no idea who the hell she is, but I'm glad she didn't embarrass herself or wrestling during her brief time in the ring.
I can't help but wonder how much match time had to be cut for all of the backstage "comedy" bits. Yes, comedy is in quotes for a reason, although the Great Khali singing summer Lovin' got me. Still, if I had to choose between that and longer matches, I'd go with the matches every time. Even though in WWE wrestling is a dirty word nowadays, that's what we're paying to see. If we wanted to watch SNL we would, and it wouldn't cost us $55. And I'll bet if people tuned in SNL and got wrestling matches they'd be pretty pissed, much like I am after sitting through most of this Mania.
Don't bother ordering the replay, unless you've got more money than you know what to do with and want to see Taker HHH. That match singlehandedly saved the show. Without it, we might have been getting close to 9 and 11 territory, though I think I had more fun watching either of those than I did watching this.
Maybe the show was better if you were there. You could tell the crowd was going pretty nuts in spots and having a great time, so I'll bet that's the case. But watching at home, hardly anything delivered. Aside from Taker and HHH, everything else ranged from pointless to borring to fine. Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting every single thing on Mania to be great. But on a show this big I expect a little more, and most of this didn't even come off as special enough to cover for things being so so.
I had a feeling we were off to a bad start when I found out that Sheamus and Daniel Bryan's U.S. Title match got bumped from the main card. It wasn't a main event or anything, but I was looking forward to it and I'm surely not the only one. And not only did it become a dark match, but it then went from a lumberjack match to a battle royal, so even the people in the building didn't get what they paid for. I suppose it can be argued that they actually got more, but to me they were cheated out of a title match that could have been pretty good.
the show started off with the Rock doing a promo. He did a nice job of working up the crowd, so I'm not going to complain like I've seen a few people do. There's no way it could have translated as well on TV as it did in the building. The place is huge and as somebody who relies on sound to tell what's going on, I could tell the noise would have been pretty unreal in there.
But even though I'm not going to complain about that opening segment possibly running too long, I do want to complain about the use of Rock. when you have a name like that and you say he's hosting Wrestlemania, having him actually host the thing might be a good idea. Beyond that opening segment, we got a couple of backstage things that were pretty bad (Mae Young and Pee Wee Herman) and him ruining take 2 of the crappy main event. I'm not sure what they could have done, but he certainly could have been much better utilized than he was. Maybe he should have been ring announcing or perhaps doing some guest commentary. Almost anything would have been better than the few appearances he made.
Speaking of commentary, who's idea was it to have Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler out there calling the first half of the show? That was stupid. We shouldn't have seen or heard anything from either of them until it was time for their match. Even if WWE didn't want to use Jim Ross all night, it's not like they didn't have other options. There are people they could have stuck out there with Josh Mathews, and they should have used at least one of them. Having them out there took their match down a couple of notches in my eyes.
The match they had didn't help matters either. Granted I didn't expect a whole lot going in, but it didn't have the heavyish feel that the storyline leading to it had. I was really impressed with the build, how personal it was. Family got involved, harsh things were said, friends were attacked. Then the match just sort of happened. Swagger and Stone Cold both got involved as expected, Lawler beat up Cole some and then he won...until he lost. The Raw GM sent an email reversing the decision and giving Cole the win since Austin got involved and referees aren't supposed to do that. Something like this didn't belong on Mania. Mania is where stories like this end, not a place to set up another match. If this was the direction all along, they should have had this match either on Raw or on Elimination Chamber. JBL could have reffed that one, helped screw Lawler, and then we move to Mania and the King gets his moment. This just seemed all wrong.
On the subject of endings rather than beginnings, did Alberto Del rio shit in somebody's bag? Maybe it's just me, but man he looked like a complete goof. The opening the show with a title match thing was strange, but I can get over it. But the match felt like one of those not bad Smackdown matches, only without a commercial in the middle. The crowd was having fun, but it didn't feel like a Wrestlemania championship main event, and then it up and ended when it felt like things should have been just getting started. Then Del Rio cried, and Edge beat up his car. No idea where Del Rio goes from here, but unless they've got a big plan I can't figure out my guess is down the card. All of this sure made the Royal Rumble seem quite unimportant, which I doubt was the goal.
I was glad to see Cody Rhodes win. He's been really good lately, and the loss would have hurt him a lot more than it does Mysterio. I hope they do something with him now and don't just keep him running in place. Again, match was fine, but nothing I'm going to remember for years to come.
I'm not sure if it's because Randy Orton annoys the hell out of me or because the match was really as slow and dullish as it seemed, but Orton vs. Punk bored me to the point that I started looking for little things to do around the house so I wouldn't have to sit there and watch it. The crowd seemed to quiet down and it felt like the announcers were disinterested, and I can't say I blame them. It was hardly the worst thing on the show, but the outcome was really never in doubt and it didn't feel like anything was riding on it. It was just another plodding Randy Orton match.
But the one thing I'll say for Punk vs. Orton is that at least it was better than that fucking main event. Cena and Miz had gotten kind of overshadowed by Cena and Rock, but there's no excuse for ending a Mania with this shite. They wrestle a so so match for a few minutes, then it spills to the outside and ends in a double countout. Rock comes out, restarts the match...and then immediately Rock Bottoms Cena and Miz gets the win. He then gets the smack laid down on him and Rock is standing tall to end the show. Well, at least the Cena Rock story has been advanced, but none of this did Miz any favours. And has there ever been a worse closing match at a Mania? I'm sure some of you are screaming at me about how Hogan and Andre the Giant from Mania 3 or even Hogan and Bundy in the cage at Mania 2 were much worse, but you have to remember a couple of things: 1, both of those matches sold the show and 2, there was massive excitement for both of them, especially Hogan Andre. They also weren't expected to be 5 star classics. You were paying for the spectacle and to see Hogan settle a score, and in the end, that's what you got. What you got with this Cena Miz match was the show closing angle from an episode of Raw. Miz vs. Lawler in the ladder match that got the Cole and Lawler feud going or even the Miz vs. Morrison match from raw a few months ago were more Mania main than this dreck. Just a terrible way of ending a pretty bad show. But to be positive for a second, Cena's gospel choir and praying to the lord entrance still getting him booed out of the building, that was funny.
I know why it wasn't in the spot, but Undertaker vs. Triple H was the true main event. It was a slow, deliberate match also, but the difference between it and Punk Orton is that in this one, every move meant something. It could have ended in so many places, including when HHH gave Undertaker his own tombstone and damn near beat him. All that was missing was Taker giving H the Pedigree, but that's just a small thing. In the end, HHH tapped out to the Hell's Gate choke. Can't remember the last time he gave up. the post match stuff was great too, with both guy's looking like they'd been through a true war. Undertaker even had to be helped to the back, which is unheard of. I'm not sure if this is either guy's last match, but if it was, what a way to go out. I can't say I enjoyed this more than either of the Taker Michaels matches from the last two years, but it was right up there. Maybe call it a draw. Just great stuff, and this show needed it. If you're going to watch it, this is about all you truly need to see.
The rest of the night was what it was. The 8-man tag and the 6-person tag were too quick to be anything. Only thing to note from either one is that Snooki looked pretty good doing her few spots. I have next to no idea who the hell she is, but I'm glad she didn't embarrass herself or wrestling during her brief time in the ring.
I can't help but wonder how much match time had to be cut for all of the backstage "comedy" bits. Yes, comedy is in quotes for a reason, although the Great Khali singing summer Lovin' got me. Still, if I had to choose between that and longer matches, I'd go with the matches every time. Even though in WWE wrestling is a dirty word nowadays, that's what we're paying to see. If we wanted to watch SNL we would, and it wouldn't cost us $55. And I'll bet if people tuned in SNL and got wrestling matches they'd be pretty pissed, much like I am after sitting through most of this Mania.
Don't bother ordering the replay, unless you've got more money than you know what to do with and want to see Taker HHH. That match singlehandedly saved the show. Without it, we might have been getting close to 9 and 11 territory, though I think I had more fun watching either of those than I did watching this.
Mr. Cab Driver, Won't Stop To Let Me Rob Him
The cabby in this story is one lucky bastard. And the armed robber is kinda dumb.
Late at night, a cab driver picked up a guy. The guy got in the back of the car and ordered the cabby to give him everything he had and put the gun against the back of the cabby's neck. The cabby suddenly realized that a. the back door is still open, and b. the car was still in drive. So, vroom, vroom, vroom, went the taxi. fly, fall, thunk, went the thief. He ran away and got no money. Hahahahaha. Fail! Why would a guy leave the door open? Was he hoping to just get the money and run off? Well, all he did was run off.
Late at night, a cab driver picked up a guy. The guy got in the back of the car and ordered the cabby to give him everything he had and put the gun against the back of the cabby's neck. The cabby suddenly realized that a. the back door is still open, and b. the car was still in drive. So, vroom, vroom, vroom, went the taxi. fly, fall, thunk, went the thief. He ran away and got no money. Hahahahaha. Fail! Why would a guy leave the door open? Was he hoping to just get the money and run off? Well, all he did was run off.
Kids Say The Most Incriminating Things
As a kid, I could be a bit of a brat. I could also be quite the blabbermouth. If I heard it, and I thought it was amusing or worth a story, it was comin' out. Sometimes, this made my parents very very mad when I mentioned embarrassing things like dogs drinking out of the toilet, or told jokes that weren't supposed to leave the house. So, my parents should be very thankful they never did anything illegal. I probably would have said something similar to what this kid said. There's nothing that says "you're screwed more than the kid you're babysitting saying "Diane, you know you were the one who told us don't tell you were the one who went in through the front window." Might as well sign the confession right there.
And I'm sure the parents who left their kids in the care of this woman are freaking out right now. If not, well, hmmm, the kids will have more stories to tell soon I'm sure.
And I'm sure the parents who left their kids in the care of this woman are freaking out right now. If not, well, hmmm, the kids will have more stories to tell soon I'm sure.
In A Sense, She Did Get Shot In The Foot...
I said to Steve, I wonder how many April Fools jokes gone wrong I'm going to be finding. Here's the first one. A girl thought it would be ha ha ha funny to text her buddies and say she had been robbed and shot in the foot. They immediately called the police. The police came over and found out it was all a joke. They weren't laughing.
They're being quite easy on her, I guess because it's the first time she's done this and she's 16. She has to pay $150 in fines, one of which was a fine for not being at school. Sucks to be you. You skip school, play a bad April Fools joke, and then you get busted for your own actions. Now that, that's funny.
They're being quite easy on her, I guess because it's the first time she's done this and she's 16. She has to pay $150 in fines, one of which was a fine for not being at school. Sucks to be you. You skip school, play a bad April Fools joke, and then you get busted for your own actions. Now that, that's funny.
Monday, April 04, 2011
Surrounded By April Fools
I always knew that lots of April Fools entries get put up on news sites and blogs and stuff, but I guess I never went looking for them. Now that I'm on Twitter, they come to me, and boy were there a lot of them to do with blindness-related sites this year.
There were two that made me laugh the hardest, though. Serotek's announcement of making a notetaker was pretty funny. Rusty Metals, eh? Thankfully, nobody took that one seriously, at least I don't think so. The best part of that one was the telnet address they referenced, um, actually worked! Now that's an elaborate April Fool.
This one killed me for two reasons. First, the idea of glasses designed to alert blind folks of obnoxious people approaching is awesome. But some people actually believed it was true! Come on, that one was obvious, although there have been times I have wished for just such a device while trying to get rid of someone who just won't leave me alone! Haven't we all?
And the third one I didn't even read, but I saw it horked up on a couple lists as the honest truth. Funnily enough, the person who put it up just finished berating someone else for falling for the dork recognition glasses. It says here that Freedom Scientific Acquired Blind Access Journal. Yeah, like that would ever happen. But people were all "Think of the possibilities! The podcasts! Oooo oooo oooo!" No, check your calendar, folks.
I fell for one April Fools joke. One. I was reading through my tweets before I took Trix outside and saw one that said "Look at all the snow!" I just started writing a tyrade of "I'm sooo gonna cry..." when I remembered what day it was. Somebody else made a damn good try at an April Fools joke, but I just couldn't be convinced. But it did make me wonder what if? I was glad I was right.
Has everybody always been so big into the April Fools jokes, or is this an extra special year? Have I just not noticed?
There were two that made me laugh the hardest, though. Serotek's announcement of making a notetaker was pretty funny. Rusty Metals, eh? Thankfully, nobody took that one seriously, at least I don't think so. The best part of that one was the telnet address they referenced, um, actually worked! Now that's an elaborate April Fool.
This one killed me for two reasons. First, the idea of glasses designed to alert blind folks of obnoxious people approaching is awesome. But some people actually believed it was true! Come on, that one was obvious, although there have been times I have wished for just such a device while trying to get rid of someone who just won't leave me alone! Haven't we all?
And the third one I didn't even read, but I saw it horked up on a couple lists as the honest truth. Funnily enough, the person who put it up just finished berating someone else for falling for the dork recognition glasses. It says here that Freedom Scientific Acquired Blind Access Journal. Yeah, like that would ever happen. But people were all "Think of the possibilities! The podcasts! Oooo oooo oooo!" No, check your calendar, folks.
I fell for one April Fools joke. One. I was reading through my tweets before I took Trix outside and saw one that said "Look at all the snow!" I just started writing a tyrade of "I'm sooo gonna cry..." when I remembered what day it was. Somebody else made a damn good try at an April Fools joke, but I just couldn't be convinced. But it did make me wonder what if? I was glad I was right.
Has everybody always been so big into the April Fools jokes, or is this an extra special year? Have I just not noticed?
Carma, Dude, Carma!
Thanks Ann for this one.
Here's a little story to tell kids who are being rude, impatient little brats.
Once upon a time, in a store not far away, there were two men wanting to buy a lottery ticket. There was Mike Barth, a man quietly waiting his turn in line, and there was another man, let's just call him Mr. Pushypants.
Mr. Pushypants wanted his ticket now now now. So, he cut in front of Mike. He got his ticket, and Mike waited and got his, too.
Days went by, and the time came to find out whose ticket would win. There were a lot of tickets, and whoever won the lottery would be pretty special. Do you want to guess who won the ticket? Was it Mr. Pushypants? No no no! Mike and his buddies got the winning ticket. They will all have enough money to live happily ever after.
So, the moral of the story is, don't be like Mr. Pushypants. Good things will come if you wait your turn.
Here's a little story to tell kids who are being rude, impatient little brats.
Once upon a time, in a store not far away, there were two men wanting to buy a lottery ticket. There was Mike Barth, a man quietly waiting his turn in line, and there was another man, let's just call him Mr. Pushypants.
Mr. Pushypants wanted his ticket now now now. So, he cut in front of Mike. He got his ticket, and Mike waited and got his, too.
Days went by, and the time came to find out whose ticket would win. There were a lot of tickets, and whoever won the lottery would be pretty special. Do you want to guess who won the ticket? Was it Mr. Pushypants? No no no! Mike and his buddies got the winning ticket. They will all have enough money to live happily ever after.
So, the moral of the story is, don't be like Mr. Pushypants. Good things will come if you wait your turn.
His Name Doesn't Help Matters
This has to be a joke. But it isn't.
Arrested for dealing drugs is Kevin Lee Cokayne. Sadly, he was only dealing marijuana. But the story was funny anyway.
Arrested for dealing drugs is Kevin Lee Cokayne. Sadly, he was only dealing marijuana. But the story was funny anyway.
Give Charges/He Dumb
When you have the limited grammar skills possessed by Joe Nathan Michael, I would understand why you might have to resort to robbery to make money. He walked into the bank, and his note said only "Give money/I gun." The teller gave him some money, along with some other tracking device type thinggies, and the cops nabbed him at a bus stop. Bus stop? Didn't he learn anything from this guy?
Well maybe now he'll get some schooling. Somehow I doubt it.
Well maybe now he'll get some schooling. Somehow I doubt it.
How Long Is A Little While?
Here's another case of a very lucky little boy.
Melissa Willis knocked on a complete stranger's door, and asked him if he'd watch her toddler for a little while because her AC needed repair. So he did. She didn't come back for two days. Luckily, this guy was honest, and contacted authorities. Now the kid is in their care and Willis has been arrested. She says she was on drugs. Ya think?
Melissa Willis knocked on a complete stranger's door, and asked him if he'd watch her toddler for a little while because her AC needed repair. So he did. She didn't come back for two days. Luckily, this guy was honest, and contacted authorities. Now the kid is in their care and Willis has been arrested. She says she was on drugs. Ya think?
Towel Snapple
What's up with people breaking into places and taking a shower? First we had our showering, 911-calling burglar, and now we have Joshua Wordell, a guy who broke into two houses it seems only to take a shower. All he stole from one house was a green towel and a bottle of Snapple. Snapple? Are you serious?
Well, when they take these guys to jail, they'll know they're clean.
Well, when they take these guys to jail, they'll know they're clean.
Maybe He Can Perfect His Dance Moves In Jail
Here's another little story of a fellow who stole a laptop from the wrong guy.
He thought he'd just stolen a random laptop. But it belonged to Mark Bao, who knows a thing or two about using computers. So, Bao went a clickin' and a searchin' and got into his own hard drive remotely. Hmmm, what have we here? Would it be a video of the theif dancin' up a storm, quite embarrassingly so, to a song? So, he didn't just give it to police. No no no. He posted it to Youtube, which led to it being submitted to Vimeo and Reddit.
It didn't take long for the thief to return the computer, complete with a plea for Bao to take the videos off YouTube. Bao essentially laughed in his face, and the videos remain. I love the title on the YouTube one. "Don't steal computers belonging to people who know how to use computers." Sound advice, I'd say.
He thought he'd just stolen a random laptop. But it belonged to Mark Bao, who knows a thing or two about using computers. So, Bao went a clickin' and a searchin' and got into his own hard drive remotely. Hmmm, what have we here? Would it be a video of the theif dancin' up a storm, quite embarrassingly so, to a song? So, he didn't just give it to police. No no no. He posted it to Youtube, which led to it being submitted to Vimeo and Reddit.
It didn't take long for the thief to return the computer, complete with a plea for Bao to take the videos off YouTube. Bao essentially laughed in his face, and the videos remain. I love the title on the YouTube one. "Don't steal computers belonging to people who know how to use computers." Sound advice, I'd say.
The Target Of The Hit Didn't Die, But Her Case Did
Hey there Marissa Mark. Psst. I have a little tip for ya. Cmere. Sit down.
Ya see, if you're going to hire a hit man, you have to do it all quiet like. You have to be, you know, discrete. So, using a website called hitmanforhire.com and using PayPal to pay for the deed probably isn't going to end well. For God's sake, if you're going to use the internet, at least have the site cover up what its true purpose is. But hiring someone to kill someone through the net probably has fail written all over it.
They say it is not clear if she has a lawyer. maybe she should look on lawyersforpeoplewhocantpossiblywin.com
Ya see, if you're going to hire a hit man, you have to do it all quiet like. You have to be, you know, discrete. So, using a website called hitmanforhire.com and using PayPal to pay for the deed probably isn't going to end well. For God's sake, if you're going to use the internet, at least have the site cover up what its true purpose is. But hiring someone to kill someone through the net probably has fail written all over it.
They say it is not clear if she has a lawyer. maybe she should look on lawyersforpeoplewhocantpossiblywin.com
It's Bath Fittings, Not Baptism
If all this is true, which it probably is since this woman's lawyer has more clients saying the same thing, this Bath Fitter franchise is messed up, and needs to learn a few lessons.
Jo A. Yochum says that she began working for this bath fitting franchise, and had to pay $90000 for the training she received. But the training wasn't about their company practices, or what goes into what they sell. According to Yochum, it was like entering into a cult. She's suing because not only did she have to pay for it, because she wasn't willing to go along, she was cut off from new leads despite her being a good salesperson.
If I'm working for a company, it's none of their business what god I worship, if I worship at all. Just where the hell do they get off doing this to people?
I hope she, and others like her, win their case. That's just creepy.
And the icing on the cake? Get a look at the reporter's name. Rich Lord.
Jo A. Yochum says that she began working for this bath fitting franchise, and had to pay $90000 for the training she received. But the training wasn't about their company practices, or what goes into what they sell. According to Yochum, it was like entering into a cult. She's suing because not only did she have to pay for it, because she wasn't willing to go along, she was cut off from new leads despite her being a good salesperson.
If I'm working for a company, it's none of their business what god I worship, if I worship at all. Just where the hell do they get off doing this to people?
I hope she, and others like her, win their case. That's just creepy.
And the icing on the cake? Get a look at the reporter's name. Rich Lord.
Somehow I Don't Think Joe Public Would Agree
Jason Moorehead and Paul Gardner III have an interesting idea of what counts as indecent exposure. They think it's perfectly fine to touch each other's stuff in public, just as long as nobody gets an erection. Eeewww. Just imagine walking up to that public display of yuck? Just imagine trying to explain that to your kids. Gross!
I wonder, if you took an o out of Jason Moorehead's name, if that was what he was looking for.
I wonder, if you took an o out of Jason Moorehead's name, if that was what he was looking for.
She Used To Run MADD, Now She's Gone Mad
This is a pretty run of the mill story. Debra Oberlin was seen driving her car in an eratic manner. So, cops pulled her over, and had her do the ol' field sobriety tests. She didn't do so well and was arrested. But what earns it a place here is that Debra Oberlin used to be president of the Gainesville chapter of MADD. Hmmm. I know she's not president of MADD anymore, but that's quite the belief shift there.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
