My Lack Of Posting

Hey all,
Well I've been back from Montreal since Sunday night but not in much of a mood to post. I'll get it out of the way right now and tell you that I wasn't selected for the Olympic team this year. Ya... it sucks.

I haven't posted sooner because I've been bombarded with a shitstorm of stupid questions from people I know personally ranging from "How do you feel?" to "Does it bother you?". Yes, it's been a frustrating few days.

I won't sugar-coat it. The guy that was selected in the spot that I held deserved it. He outplayed me in every area of the game so kudos to him. That doesn't make it any easier for me, though.

It's something you work for for a long time and the chance is gone. Of course it's only gone for this time and I"ll have another shot in a few years and I know all that. I'm just remarkably tired of hearing it.

Of course everyone phones and stuff to see how you did and I guess I appreciate that but you just got tired of talking about something that has let you down so much, answering the same questions, trying to make it sound like you're okay when it's tearing you up inside.

I've taken the last few days off of work because I'm just not ready to be around people. Not because I'm hiding from the questions or because I'm embarassed. I worked my ass off and was out-played by a better player. I don't think that's anything to be ashamed of. But I needed some time for me to re-focus on my life as for the last while it's all been about building for this. I just needed some time for myself and to rest and stuff as I've been mentally exhausted battling this for so long. I'm going back to work tomorrow and I'll get even more stupid questions and the "aww you tried your best speech" but it's gonna happen eventually I suppose.

The only person that I've enjoyed talking to about this so far is my girlfriend. She's been great. She doesn't try to sugar-coat it or turn it around. She knows my mood ain't gonna change and she's just kinda there for me and will talk about it objectively unlike most people who are so "pro-me" (just because they know me and not the other guys) that they think I was somehow robbed or something. It's really the only sanctuary that I have. She knows what it meant to me and that it will just take time. There's nothing her, or anyone else for that matter, can say to turn it around ... so really she doesn't try. She's just there for me. It will just take me some time to get back to my normal self. Getting back to work tomorrow I suppose will be the first step in that direction.

I don't know how much I'll post in the next few days but I did say I'd let you know how it went and today I finally felt like I wanted to do so. I'm sure as I come back around I'll get back to my normal posting schedule, whatever that is.

Thanks guys.